Ungamyeka Kanjani Ngokomzwelo Umuntu Omthandayo: Umelaphi Weluleka

“Ukudedela kusho ukuqaphela ukuthi abanye abantu bayingxenye yomlando wakho, kodwa abayona ingxenye yesiphetho sakho,” kusho umsubathi wodumo nombhali ohamba phambili uSteve Maraboli. Futhi wayeqinisile. Kodwa uyeka kanjani ukuthanda umuntu ngokuzumayo? Nokho, nakuba sikhuluma ngokuvimba imizwa kaningi, kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Lapho uzithola ukuleyo mpambano-mgwaqo, indlela yokudedela umuntu omthandayo ngokomzwelo iba ukukhathazeka okushisayo.

Ngakho-ke, uma uzibuza ukuthi ungamdedela kanjani noma umdedela kanjani, ungakhathazeki. Kulesi sihloko, sizokutshela konke mayelana nendlela yokuyeka ukuthanda umuntu omthanda kakhulu. Ngokuqonda okuvela kudokotela wezifo zengqondo ohlala eCalifornia kanye nochwepheshe wezokwelapha ngokuziphatha kwengqondo uDkt. Shefali Batra (MD in Psychiatry), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngokwehlukana nesehlukaniso, ukuhlukana nokuthandana, kanye nezinkinga zokuhambisana ngaphambi komshado, sizohlola ngokujulile izimpawu zokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokudedela, izizathu zokuba nzima ukwenza kanjalo, kanye namathiphu ayi-11 okudlula umuntu.

Izimpawu Sekuyisikhathi Sokudedela Umuntu

Ngaphambi kokuba sifike embuzweni wokuthi ungamdedela kanjani ngokomzwelo umuntu omthandayo, ake sigxile ezimpawini okudingeka uzishiye. Iningi lethu lithanda ukuba sebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside - into esingayethemba. Sifuna ubudlelwano bethu bube njengezinsika eziqinile, ezisekela izimpilo zethu. Sifuna babe nathi kuzo zonke izivunguvungu ezingajwayelekile. Kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi? Nokho, akubona bonke abanenhlanhla yokuba nobudlelwano obunjalo, futhi kaningi, sidinga ukukhulula abanye abantu ngokuzithandela, kungaba ngenxa yethu noma ngenxa yezimo nje. Lokhu kusishiya sizibuza ukuthi singamshiya kanjani umuntu omthanda kakhulu.

UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ngezinye izikhathi, abantu bacabanga ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi sebeqomile, kufanele baqhubeke bethandana. Ngaleyo ndlela usisiza ngezimpawu eziyi-7 ezisisiza ukuthi sibone ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokudedela othile:

1. Ukuntula inhlonipho

Ngakho-ke, ungayeka kanjani ukuthanda umuntu owawungenakukwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe? UDkt. Batra uthi, “Siyazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokudedela othile ahambe lapho inhlonipho ibonakala ilahlekile ebudlelwaneni.” Manje, inhlonipho ingasho izinto ezahlukene kubantu abahlukene. Kwabanye, kungaba inhlonipho umlingani ayibonisayo mayelana nokukhetha kwabo umsebenzi, ukugqoka kahle, noma izintshisekelo. Kwabanye, kungaba yinto elula njengokwabelana ngomthwalo womsebenzi wasekhaya ngokulinganayo.

Yilokhu a Umsebenzisi we-Reddit kwadingeka asho ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukungahloniphi kuye ngesikhathi ethandana: “Uma umuntu edlula izitsha izikhathi eziyisi-6 ngosuku engazithinti, ungamkholwa uma ethi akakubonanga.Lowo ngumuntu omdala (uthemba) owaziyo ukuthi
badinga amapuleti ahlanzekile nezimfoloko futhi cishe akakholelwa fairies. Basanda kunquma ukuthi basisebenzisa kangcono isikhathi sakho kunesabo.”

2. Ukungamethembi

Esinye isibonakaliso esikhulu sokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuyeka umuntu uma kungasekho ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni . Umsebenzisi we-Reddit uxoxa ngobuhlungu bakhe bokungathenjwa ngokwanele ngumlingani wakhe nokuthi wanquma kanjani ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokumyeka: “Empeleni, akazethembi noma azikholelwe izinto engizishoyo. Ngikubonile ngezindlela eziningi ezahlukene, njengokungakholelwa ukuthi ngisemsebenzini uma ngithi ngiyaye, ngicabanga ukuthi ngikhuluma namanye amantombazane ngemuva kwakhe, noma ngicabanga ukuthi ngingaphuma emsebenzini kusenesikhathi ukuze ngichithe isikhathi naye, kodwa ngikhethe ukungakwenzi lokho, njll.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Angu-9 Okuthi Ungayeka Kanjani Ubuhlungu Nokukhashelwa

Manje, ukuntula ukuzethemba ngokwakho kungavela ezindabeni eziningi, njengalezi:

• Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana njalo
• Ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo, njengokufihla ifoni yakho kumlingani wakho
• Ukudlala ngothando okusobala (ngisho nezinhlobonhlobo ezingenangozi)
• Izigameko ezedlule zokukopela

3. Lapho amanga esethathe izintambo

Uyeka kanjani ukuthanda umuntu isigubhukane? Hhayi-ke, ubuhlobo buyasinda ngokwethembeka, futhi lapho amanga ethatha izintambo, kunesizathu esanele sokuyeka umlingani wakho. A cwaningo emthelela wamanga ebudlelwaneni kwafakazela ukuthi “amanga angempela atholakala ukuthi yiwo
amanga angathi sína kakhulu anezinhloso ezimbi, imiphumela emibi, ukuzicabangela wena, ukungabi naqiniso nhlobo, nokubhekwa njengangamukelekile.” Futhi lolu cwaningo lucabangele zonke izinhlobo zamanga, okuhlanganisa namanga amhlophe angenawo umthelela ongathi sina.

• Umsebenzi wabo noma isimo sezimali: Lokhu kungenziwa ngomzamo wokuzama nokubonakala becebile kunabo
• Inkinga yezempilo: Kungase kube nesifo esingelapheki noma okunye Impilo yengqondo isimo abakufihlile noma abangakutshelanga ngaso. Lokhu kungase kube amanga okweqiwa
• Isimo sabo sobudlelwano: Kungenzeka ukuthi bafihle umshado wangaphambili noma omunye umlingani

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Intukuthelo Ebudlelwaneni - Izimpawu, Izimbangela, Nokuthi Ungayekela Kanjani

4. Uma usebudlelwaneni obuqeda amandla noma obuyingozi

Kulabo abadidekile ngokuthi kufanele babudedele nini ubuhlobo, uDkt. Batra uthi, “Niyazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhlukana nobudlelwano uma buyaphela amandla kunokuvuselela ubuhlobo.” Futhi sicabanga ngokuphelele ukuthi uqinisile. Ubudlelwano busebenza kuphela lapho bukunika amandla noma busekela wena, hhayi lapho budonsa wonke amandla onawo. Ngakho-ke, yiziphi ezinye izibonelo zokuqeda ubudlelwano? Nazi ezimbalwa:

• Uma kunguwe ogcina usuwenza imisebenzi eminingi yasekhaya
• Uma ugcina ukhathele ngokwezimali uzama ukubhekelela ubukhazikhazi nesithandwa sakho
• Uma umlingani wakho izindlela ezikhohlisayo ebudlelwaneni ngikushiye ukhathele emoyeni

5. Ulahlekelwe ukuzethemba

Uma ungasenaso isithunzi ebudlelwaneni , yilapho-ke lapho wazi khona ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhlukana. Futhi kungenye yezigaba ezivelele kakhulu zokuwa othandweni. Ngakho-ke, isimo esinjalo singavela lapho:

• Uhlala uhlukunyezwa, kungaba ngamazwi, ngokomzimba, noma ngokomzwelo
• Uhlekwa usulu phambi kwabangane bakho noma babo
• Umbono wakho awubuzwa uma kuthathwa izinqumo ezinkulu

6. Kokubili okubalulekile kwakho kushintshile

Ngakho-ke, uyazibuza ukuthi uzoyeka nini ubudlelwano? Nasi isibonakaliso esicacile okufanele usiqaphele — ukukhula kokuhlukana . Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abantu bayashintsha kanye nezintshisekelo zabo nezinto eziza kuqala. Nakuba abanye abantu bengase banamathele kubuntu babo obudala, iningi labo liyashintsha. Uyazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuyeka ubudlelwano bakho lapho izinto eziza kuqala zingasahambisani. Lokhu kungabukeka kanje:

• Umlingani wakho angase afise ukusala edolobheni lakubo kuyilapho wena ufisa ukuthuthela phesheya ngomsebenzi
• Ungase ubeke ukubaluleka kokuphithizela - umsebenzi webhizinisi, imoto kanokusho, ifulethi eliwubukhazikhazi, njll., kodwa umlingani wakho angase afise ukuphila impilo ephansi, ephethe ikhefi ezintabeni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukubaluleka Kokuvumela Abantu Bahambe

7. Imizwa engemihle isiphenduke impilo yansuku zonke

Esinye sezigaba ezibonisa ukuthi umuntu akasathandi uthando yilapho kuba khona imizwa emibi eminingi. UDkt. Batra uthi, “Lapho imizwa emibi, njengentukuthelo nomona, isithathe indawo, uyazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuyeka.” Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungaba nezimpikiswano ezivamile ebudlelwaneni mayelana nokuthi ubani olungile, intukuthelo komunye umlingani ngokunganikeli ngokwanele ebudlelwaneni, kanye nomona ngempumelelo yomlingani. Lena enye yezimpendulo eziphindaphindwayo njalo zombuzo othi: “Uyeka kanjani ukuthanda umuntu ngokuzumayo kangaka?”

Ukuyeka Umuntu Omthandayo - Kungani Kunzima Kangaka?

Ingabe uvame ukuzithola uzibuza, “Ngingasuka kanjani kumuntu engangimthanda kangaka?” Hhayi-ke, lokhu kuhle kakhulu futhi kungokwemvelo. UDkt. Batra uthi, “Lapho umuntu engena ebudlelwaneni bothando, kuningi ukuxoxisana.
wehliswe futhi imingcele enempilo zandiselwa emazingeni angenampilo. Umaqondana ngumuntu oyedwa umuntu ahamba naye lelo mayela elengeziwe. Kwesinye isikhathi, kufana nokubeka wonke amaqanda akho kubhasikidi owodwa. Yingakho ukudedela kubonakala kunzima.” Nazi izizathu ezimbalwa zokuthi kungani ukuyeka umuntu kungase kube nzima, nakuba kudingekile:

1. Ufake isikhathi kulo muntu

UDkt. Batra unomuzwa wokuthi, “Kunzima kakhulu kumuntu ukukwenza shiya ubudlelwano ukuthi bachithe isikhathi esiningi kukho.” Futhi siyavuma abantu bavame ukukuthola kunzima ukuhlukana nabalingani besikhathi eside noma ngisho nokufaka isehlukaniso ngezizathu ezizwakalayo uma behlukanise.
bendawonye iminyaka eyi-10 noma engu-20. Kukwenza ucabange ukuthi isikhathi osichithe nabo sizokumosha.

2. Ulungise kakhulu

Esinye isizathu esenza kube nzima ukuyeka umuntu bese uqhubekela phambili ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi usuzivumelanise noma uzishintshe kakhulu ukuze ube nalowo muntu. Ngakho-ke, ungase ube nalokhu:

• Ushiye umsebenzi ukuze aphenduke usokhaya kulo muntu
• Uguqule i-vegan ekubeni umuntu ongadli imifino ukuze nje ajwayelane nendlela yakhe yokuphila
• Ushintshe inkolo yakho ukuze ivumelane nemibono yabo yenkolo

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Asikwazanga Ukuqeda Ubudlelwano Bethu Futhi Asiboni Ikusasa Ndawonye…

Ngakho-ke, ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi ubuntu bakho abuhlangene nobabo futhi awazi ukuthi ungubani ngaphandle kwalobu budlelwano. Umqondo wokushiya lowo muntu manje ungase uthinte impilo yakho engokomzwelo.

3. Unabangane abafanayo

UDkt. Batra uthi, “Uzothola kunzima ukushiya umaqondana uma umngane wakho noma imibuthano yokuxhumana nabantu bephambana.” Nansi indlela okungase kukuthinte ngayo:

• Abangane bakho bangase bathathe uhlangothi, futhi ungase ugcine ulahlekelwe abangane abambalwa ovamile
• Ungase ukuthole kunzima ukuvakashela imibuthano yokuzijabulisa enabangane abavamile abaya kuyo
• Umlingani wakho angase agcine edalule izindaba zakho zomuntu siqu nezimfihlo kubangani bakho abavamile, ngokuvamile ukukusola

Yingakho mhlawumbe uzibuza kaningi, “Ngingadlulela kanjani kumlingani wami kalula kangaka?”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuphuma Ebudlelwaneni Obungenempilo: Umhlahlandlela Wesinyathelo Ngesinyathelo

4. Ubajwayele

Izikhathi eziningi, sigcina sesijwayele izindlela nezindlela zomlingani ezinobuthi noma ezimbi, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukufunda ukumyeka kunzima. UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ungase ukuthole kunzima ukumyeka ngokomzwelo umuntu uma usujwayelene naye. Ngakho-ke, izinkumbulo ezijabulisayo zingase zikushaye njalo. Ungase ukhunjuzwe ngamaholide, imikhosi, noma ukukhulisa izingane ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, ungase uzizwe ukhululekile ngesimo esikhona. Lokhu kungakwenza uzibuze, “Ngingaqhubeka kanjani nothando lwami ngokushesha kangaka?”

Nakhu okushiwo ngumsebenzisi weReddit ngakho: “Ngemva kokuba nothile isikhathi esithile, kuba yinto ekhululekile. Noma ngabe kuyingozi futhi akunampilo, kusakhululekile futhi kujwayelekile. Akudabukisi kakhulu ukugxila ezintweni ezinhle esikhundleni sezinto ezimbi.”

5. Ungase ube ne-FOMO (ukwesaba ukuphuthelwa)

UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ezimweni eziningi, ngithole amakhasimende ami egcina ene-FOMO futhi ecabanga ukuthi angase abe nephutha ngabalingani bawo bothando.” Ezimweni ezinjalo, abantu bangase babambelele ebudlelwaneni babo obuyingozi ngethemba lokuthi abalingani babo bangase baphenduke futhi bashintshe izindlela zabo ngelinye ilanga. Besaba ukuthi bazophuthelwa yizinhlobo ezithuthukisiwe zabalingani babo uma bebashiya. Ngakho-ke, yingakho cishe ungakwazi ukwenza isinqumo sokushiya umuntu omthandayo.

Umelaphi Ukwabelana Ngamathiphu Okuthi Ungamyeka Kanjani Ngokomzwelo Umuntu Omthandayo

Ngakho-ke, njengoba usunombono ocacile wezimpawu zokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokudedela othile nokuthi kungani isinqumo esinjalo singase sibonakale sinzima kuwe, ingabe ufuna amathiphu ukuze unqobe othile? Ingabe uhlala uzibuza, "Nginganqoba kanjani umuntu ngomusa ngaphandle kokumlimaza?"

Uyabona, ukuyeka kudinga ukuzihlukanisa ngokomzwelo nokwenza isinqumo ngokusekelwe ezizathwini hhayi emizweni. Nakuba kungase kube nzima ekuqaleni futhi kungakwenza uzibuze, “Ngingaqhubeka kanjani?”, ekugcineni, kungase kube yisinqumo esihle kakhulu sobudlelwano owake wasenza, njengoba sizokukhulula ekulindeleni okungenampilo nokungafaneleki futhi sithuthukise ukuzethemba kwakho.

UDkt. Batra wabelana ngamathiphu angu-11 okusuka kumuntu omthandayo ngomusa kulesi sigaba. Ngakho-ke, masingachithi isikhathi futhi singene siqonde kubuciko bokudedela siqhubeke. Nanka amathiphu okuthi ungamyeka kanjani umuntu omthanda kakhulu:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimbangela Nezimpawu Zobudlelwano Obuqeda Amandla Emizwa Nokuthi Ungazilungisa Kanjani

1. Yazi ukuthi kungani uyeka

UDkt. Batra uyacabanga, “Kubaluleke kakhulu kuwena ukwazi kahle ukuthi kungani ubadedela bahambe. Lokhu kungenxa yakho futhi kuzosebenza njengesikhumbuzo sokuthi wenze isinqumo esingcono kakhulu.” Ngakho, nansi indlela yokwenza ngayo:

• Thola imbangela noma izizathu eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani uzizwa eyakho ubudlelwano abusebenzi asisekho
• Bhala lezi zizathu phansi kujenali, ukuze uzikhumbule kamuva
• Namathela esinqumweni sakho futhi ungantengi

2. Yenza uhlelo lokusebenza

Uma ungazi ukuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani nobudlelwano, kubalulekile ukwenza uhlelo lokusebenza. Esimeni lapho usuvele utshale imali eningi, kungaba ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, noma ngokwezimali, ebudlelwaneni, kungase kube isinqumo esinzima sokuhlala ngokwehlukana. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase ube nezingane okufanele uzinakekele noma ube nendlu okufanele uyiphathe.

UDkt. Batra uyasikisela, “Qaphela ukuphila oyoba nakho ngemva kokudedela.” Lokhu kuyadingeka ngempela uma ngaso sonke isikhathi uzibuza, “Nginganqoba kanjani othile? Ngakho-ke, qala manje ukusebenzela leyo mpilo.”
Ngokwesibonelo:

• Uma u badinga isehlukaniso, yenza amalungiselelo nommeli ukuze uthole isondlo esisemthethweni
• Uma udinga ukwesekwa ngokwezimali, qala ngokufuna umsebenzi noma ezinye izindlela ongazuza ngazo ngaphambi kokuzishiya

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Yini Okufanele Uyenze Ngemva Kokuhlukana Ukuze Uqhubeke Nokuphila? Zama Leli Su Elisekelwe Ochwepheshe Bezinyathelo Eziyi-9

3. Hlonipha

Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungahlala kanjani kude nomuntu omthandayo ngaphandle kokumlimaza, impendulo iwukuthi: ngokuba nenhlonipho. UDkt. Batra weluleka, “Uma usafunda ukudedela, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ulondoloze inhlonipho lapho uxhumana nomlingani wakho mayelana nokuqeda ubuhlobo . Kubonisa ukuthi ungadedela ngomusa nangaphandle konya.” Ngakho-ke, qiniseka:

• Awubashisi
• Alukho ulimi oluhlambalazayo olusetshenzisiwe
• Awubahleki noma ukhulume amazwi abhuqayo
• Awuwuqali umdlalo wokusola

4. Qaphela

Ukuqaphela kungenye yezinyathelo ezibaluleke kakhulu ekufundeni ukuyeka. UDkt. Batra uphakamisa ukuthi, “Qaphela ukuthi yini ozoyithola nozoyilahlekelwa yile nqubo. Qaphela okuzayo nokuthi yini okufanele uyilindele.” Ngakho-ke, ungase uthole ukuzimela noma ukuzihlonipha kwakho emuva kokuyeka bese usuka kumlingani onobuthi, kodwa ungase ugcine ulahlekelwe yisibopho sesikhathi eside, abangane bakho abavamile, noma indlu enhle enaniyihlanganyela. Kufanele ukwazi ukulinganisa izinzuzo nezingozi bese wenza isinqumo esinolwazi oluphelele. Lena indlela yokudedela ngokomzwelo umuntu omthandayo , uma kwenzeka uhlala uzibuza ukuthi, “Ngingamyeka kanjani umuntu?”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani 'Ngidinga Ukuvalwa' Kusikhathaza Ngemva Kokuhlukana

5. Yamukela ukuthi uzolimala

Indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nokuyeka bese uqhubeka nokuphila iwukwamukela ubuhlungu. UDkt. Batra uphakamisa ukuthi, “Yamukela ukuthi ubuhlungu abunakugwenywa ngenkathi ulila ubuhlobo futhi uzoba nomuzwa ngakho.” Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuya esimweni sokuphika, lapho uhlala umomotheka noma wabelana ngezingcaphuno zokuthi ‘yiba nombono omuhle’ ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, zama ukuhlola iqiniso. Yazi imizwa yakho futhi wamukele ukuthi udabukile. Kulapho-ke kuphela lapho uzothola khona ukuthula.

6. Finyelela kwabanye

Ukuchitha isikhathi nabanye kuyindlela yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano ngempumelelo. Uma ubhekene nobunzima obungokomzwelo, kubalulekile ukuxhumana nabangani bakho (noma umngane wakho omkhulu), amalungu omndeni, kanye nabanye abafisela okuhle, njengabantu abanomqondo ofanayo eqenjini lokusekelana. UDkt. Batra uthi, “Xhumana nalabo abakusekelayo nabakuphazamisayo. Ubadinga laba bantu manje kunanini ngaphambili, ikakhulukazi uma uke wabhekana nokucindezeleka ngemva kokungathembeki ngemva kokukhohliswa futhi ekugcineni ukwazile ukuhlukana nabo. Kunoma ikuphi, obunye ubudlelwano bakho akufanele buphonswe emuva.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Okufanele Ukwenze Ngemva Kokuhlukana: Imizwa Yangemva Kokuhlukana

Umngane wami, u-Alice, wayephansi endaweni yokulahla imfucuza lapho enquma ukuliyeka isoka lakhe leminyaka engu-8 ngemva kokuba limqhathe nozakwabo. Eqinisweni, amasonto ngaphambi kokuba bahlukane, wayezibuza ukuthi uzomdedela kanjani ngaphandle kokumcasula. Ngemva kokuhlukana, mina nomunye umngane wami sanquma ukumjabulisa, futhi sasishintshana ngokumfonela nsuku zonke futhi simhlole. Sasiqinisekisa nokuthi uyaphuma endlini yakhe futhi wayehlela imibuthano njalo ngempelasonto izinyanga ezimbalwa, size sibe nesiqiniseko sokuthi uphezu kwakhe.

7. Bheka okuhle

Uma ungazi ukuthi ungahlala kanjani kude nomuntu omthandayo, zama ukufuna okuhle. UDkt. Batra uzizwa kanje, “Kubalulekile, kulezi zikhathi, ukubheka konke okunye empilweni yakho okusalungile futhi okuhle. Isimo sengqondo esihle sisiza njalo.” Ngakho-ke, uma uthanda umoya opholile oshaya ubuso bakho uma uphuma uyogijima njalo ekuseni, gijima kaningi. Uma uthanda iphunga lezimbali ezihlobisa isitshalo sakho sasekhaya, nisela isitshalo kaningi. Uma uthanda ukudlala isiginci noma ukufunda, kwenze kaningi. Khumbula ukuthi usaphelele futhi umuhle wedwa.

8. Zibandakanye ekusizeni abantulayo

UDkt. Batra uthi, "Kulezi zikhathi ezinzima, ungakwazi ukuzibandakanya kokuthile okungaphezu kwakho ukuze ukwazi ukususa ingqondo yakho ezinkingeni zakho. Isisa, isibonelo, siyasiza kakhulu." Ngakho, nakhu ongakwenza:

• Nikela ngezincwadi noma izingubo kwabaswele
• Joyina ama-trust nezinhlangano ezisiza umphakathi
• Thola ingane futhi uyinikeze impilo entsha
• Chitha isikhathi nabantu abadala ekhaya labadala

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izizathu Eziyi-12 Ezifanele Zokuqeda Ubudlelwano – Kungakhathaliseki Ukuthi Umhlaba Uthini

9. Funda okuthile okusha

Ukuvuselela ubuchopho kubaluleke kakhulu njengoba uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungamdedela kanjani ngokomzwelo umuntu omthandayo. UDkt. Batra uphakamisa ukuthi, “Zijabulise ngokufunda okuthile okusha uma ulila ngenxa yokuhlukana noma ukuphela kobuhlobo. Noma yini. Kungaba yinto ongazi lutho ngayo noma into ongakaze uyicabange kodwa obufuna ukuyizama. Imisebenzi emisha enjalo ivuselela amangqamuzana obuchopho amasha.”

Ngakho-ke, nakhu ongakwenza uma uzibuza ukuthi ungamyeka kanjani ahambe noma umyeke ahambe ngaphandle kokwenza umonakalo:

• Joyina i-Zumba noma ikilasi lokufaneleka
• Thatha umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa owake wawuthanda, njengokubumba, umculo, noma ukudweba
• Funda umsebenzi omusha ongakaze uwuzame ngaphambilini

10. Funda emaphutheni akho

Ekhuluma ngenkinga yokuthi ungamdedela kanjani ngokomzwelo umuntu omthandayo, uDkt. Batra uphakamisa ukuthi, “Zihlole bese ucabanga ngezinto obungazenza ngendlela ehlukile. Futhi uzixolele nawe.” Nakuba sivumelana, singathanda futhi ukusho ukuthi kubaluleke ngokulinganayo ukungazibeki icala ngokuhlukana. Khumbula, ukulungiswa emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni kungenziwa kuzo zombili izinhlangothi. Ngakho-ke, nakuba kulungile ukuqaphela amaphutha akho, qiniseka ukuthi awuzizwa unecala ngokuqeda ubuhlobo obunzima. Lokhu kungaba impendulo yokuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani nobuhlobo nomusa.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuhlukana Nomuntu Owayengumngane Wakhe Oseye Waqhubeka Nokuphila Kwakhe Okuphakade

11. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Ngisho noma ngabe usuzame konke ukubhekana nalesi simo, usazizwa ungenamandla, zama ukubonisana nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo. UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ngiyazi ukuthi ungakwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo futhi unabangane nomndeni abazokuqondisa, kodwa ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuhlale kungumqondo ongcono, njengoba ochwepheshe beqeqeshwe ukukusiza ukuthi ubhekane nesimo ngokomzwelo futhi benze inqubo ibe lula. Yebo, ungase ubhekane nemibuzo enzima, kodwa kuzokufanelekela.” Uma udinga usizo, izinsizakalo zokweluleka zeBonobology zilapha ukuze zikusize.

Ngakho-ke, sithemba ukuthi sikwazile ukuxazulula yonke imibuzo yakho mayelana nokudedela ngokomzwelo umuntu omthandayo. Uyabona, ubudlelwano abusebenzi kumaswishi avaliwe. Akulula futhi ukukhohlwa othile njengoba kuwukuphakamisa ukuzihlukanisa.

Kodwa uma uxhumano seluphenduke lwaba yingozi futhi uma konke ongakubona kuwukuphela, kungcono ukuphepha kunokuzisola. Futhi asikho isidingo sokudabukisa ubuhlobo onomuzwa wokuthi akunakwenzeka ukubulungisa. Khumbula, ubudlelwano bumayelana nawe kanye nezifiso zakho nemizwa yakho. Ngakho, ungumuntu wonke wedwa. Manje njengoba usuyazi ukuthi ungadlulela kanjani ebudlelwaneni, qhubeka futhi udedele noma yini ekukhawulelayo ngokushesha nje lapho uzizwa ulungile. Bheka ukuxhumana okunempilo nobudlelwano obusha! Yenza izinkumbulo ezintsha!

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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