He uaua ngā whanaungatanga. He maha ngā takahurihuri i te ara, ā, he tino uaua te pupuri i te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, hei āwhina i a koutou katoa e ngā wāhine, anei ētahi tohutohu whanaungatanga hou mā ngā wāhine hei waihanga me te pupuri i te whanaungatanga, nā tētahi tāne i kawe mai ki a koutou.
Kei ngā wāhi katoa ngā tohutohu mō te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga, engari kāore i te maha ngā wā ka kōrerotia e ngā tāne tā rātou e hiahia ana mai i ā rātou wāhine. Nō reira, whakarongo mai ki ā mātou tohutohu whanaungatanga mō ngā wāhine, ā, ka mōhio koe ki ngā mea e tumanakohia ana e ngā tāne kia mahia e te wahine i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio ki ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e ngā tāne i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou? Pānuihia tēnei aratohu mō ngā tohutohu whanaungatanga mō ngā wāhine.
16 Ngā Tohutohu mō ngā Wahine mō te Whakawhanaungatanga nā te Tāne
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ki te mea he uaua ki ngā tāne te mārama ki te hinengaro o te wahine, he uaua anō hoki ki ngā wāhine te mārama ki ngā tāne. Nā tēnei āputa i roto i te māramatanga ka pā mai ngā raruraru ki ngā whanaungatanga. Me i whai pukapuka ārahi mō te whakahaere i te whanaungatanga hei wahine, kua kore koe e kanga i tō aituā mō te tuku i a koe ki te ara o tētahi hononga pōrearea i muri i tētahi, tika?
E mōhio ana koe kua pā mai taua whakaaro ki a koe i mua, engari i whakakorea e koe he wawata noa iho. Engari i tēnei rā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te pera. Ki te kōrero mai tētahi tāne ki a koe mō te huarahi e uru atu ai ki te hinengaro o tētahi tāne, ka māmā ake ngā mea. Kāore? Koinei te pukapuka ārahi i hiahia tonu koe, e tukuna ana ki a koe mā te pāwhiri noa i te pātene. (Aue, me i tono koe mō te miriona tāra! Engari kaua e apo, kaua e tatau i ō tātou manaakitanga, me pēhea?)
Nō reira, me tīmata tātou. Anei ngā tohutohu pai rawa atu mō te whanaungatanga mā ngā wāhine, hei tāne māku:
1. Akohia te hoha
Ko tāku tohutohu pai mō ngā wāhine mō te whanaungatanga hou, kia mutu te rapu i te whakahihiri me te harikoa i roto i te hononga aroha i ngā wā katoa. Ka tīmata te whanaungatanga hou me te nui o te whakahihiri engari ka memeha haere taua pikinga. I muri i te noho tahi me te nui o te wā, ka tae koe ki te wā kāore he mea hou hei kōrero māu. Ina tupu tēnei, koinei te whakamātautau tuatahi o te whanaungatanga.
He mea nui kia ako koe ki te noho hoha tahi, me te kore e tatari kia whakangahau mai te tangata kē. Ko te ako ki te noho hoha te tūāpapa o tētahi whanaungatanga pai. Tērā pea ka takoto noa tō hoa tāne i runga i te tūru i te rā katoa, kāore he mahi, ā, ka tino harikoa. Mēnā ka taea e koe te noho ki te tūru i tōna aroaro, kua kitea e koe ngā painga o te hoha.
2. He tohutohu whanaungatanga hou mō ngā wāhine – Whawhai engari whawhai me te whakaute
Ko tā mātou tohutohu tuarua mō ngā hoa wahine ko te whakahaere i ngā pakanga. Ka pakanga te katoa. Ngā hoa, ngā tuākana, ngā teina, ngā hoa rangatira, ngā hoa aroha, me ētahi atu. Ka puta tonu ngā pakanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, ko ētahi he mea tino noa i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Ki te kore kōrua e whawhai ana, kei te patu tetahi o kōrua i tō rāua oranga mō tetahi atu.
Ahakoa ka āraihia e tēnei he maha o ngā pakanga iti i te wā poto, ka arahi atu ki tētahi pakanga nui i muri mai, he mea uaua ake te whakakore. Koia taku tohutohu ki ngā wāhine i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kia ako ki te whawhai me te whakaute , mā te aro atu ki te raruraru me te kimi tahi i tētahi otinga, kaua e whakapae noa i tō hoa me te tumanako ka whakatikahia e rātou.
Kaua te tutu, kāore au i te tika kia kōrero i tēnei, engari kua kite ahau i ngā tautohetohe e tino tutu ana.
Pānui e pā ana: Te Pakanga Tuatahi i roto i te Hononga - Ngā Mea hei Tumanako
3. Kaua e amuamu
He tino tohutohu aroha tēnei mā ngā wāhine, ā, ka mihi mai koe ki ahau mōna, nā te mea e kino ana ngā tāne ki te noho tahi me ngā hoa e tohe tonu ana ki a rātou tae noa ki te mutunga. Ki te pātai koe ki ētahi tāne he aha i wehe ai rātou i ā rātou hoa wahine, ko tētahi o ngā whakautu tino noa ka riro mai i a koe ko tana tohe tonu i mua.
Nā, he aha te mea e kīia ana ko te amuamu? Ko te amuamu i tō hoa mō ōna hapa, ko te amuamu rānei mō ōna ngoikoretanga? Kāore, ehara. Me whakamārama e au te rerekētanga mā te whakamahi i tētahi kupu whakarite. Me kī, i te hokinga mai i muri i tētahi rā roa o te mahi, kua ngenge koe, kua pukuriri hoki. Ka tomo koe, ka kite kāore anō kia ma ngā rīhi ahakoa kua kī atu koe ki tō hoa kia horoia e ia e rima ngā wā i tēnei rā.
I tēnei tauira, ko te amuamu ka rite ki te "He aha koe te horoi ai i ngā rīhi? Kua maha aku kōrero atu ki a koe, engari kāore koe e whakarongo mai. He aha te hē o tōu?"
Ko tētahi atu huarahi hei kī atu, "Kua tino ngenge ahau ina hoki mai ahau i te mahi, ā, ka nui ake taku hoha ki te kitenga i ngā rīhi paru. Tēnā koa, me horoi e koe ō rīhi i te wā e whai ake nei?" He rite tonu te karere o ēnei kōrero e rua, engari ko te kōrero tuatahi te āhua o te whakatoi.
4. Akohia te noho mokemoke
I roto i te whanaungatanga, he mea noa te hiahia mō te wāhi mai i tō hoa . He tangata motuhake kōrua, he rerekē ō kōrua oranga me ō kōrua hiahia. Koia te take ko te tohutohu whanaungatanga hou tino nui mō ngā wāhine kia kaua e tumanako kia noho tahi tonu kōrua ko ō hoa.
He tino whakararuraru te hiahia katoa ki te mahi i NGĀ MEA KATOA 'ngātahi'. Ki te ngana koe ki te akiaki i tō waimarie i tēnei taha, ka ngaro pea tō whanaungatanga. Ko te ngana ki te noho tahi me te katoa i ngā wā katoa ka tīmata te ahua he mahi uaua i muri i ētahi marama o te whakaipoipo. Tangohia he wā wehe i a koe anō, ako kia harikoa i a koe e noho ko koe anake, ā, ka kite koe kāore koe i roto i te whanaungatanga nā te mea kei te wehi koe kei noho mokemoke koe.
He aha ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e ngā tāne i roto i tētahi hononga hou? E hiahia ana rātou ki te noho ko rātou anake, ā, e hiahia ana hoki rātou kia kitea e tā rātou kōtiro te painga o tēnā. Ko te hono i te hope te mea e kinongia ana e ngā tāne. Ko tā mātou tohutohu whanaungatanga ki ngā wāhine kia mārama ki tēnā.
5. Ako ki te whakaae
Kua rongo pea koe i tēnei kōrero mai i tō tamarikitanga. E kī ana ngā pakeke he mea nui te tohatoha me te whakaae. He pono tēnei, engari e kī ana ahau kāore anō kia kōrerotia e tetahi ki a koe he aha te whakaae.
I tēnei wā tonu, e mōhio ana ahau ki ō whakaaro. E whakapono ana koe he 50/50 te whakatau i tētahi mea, i tētahi atu tatauranga rānei, arā, ka whiwhi kōrua i tētahi mea. Ehara tēnā i te whakatau, engari he whakarite kia kore rawa kōrua e tino harikoa.
Ko te tikanga tūturu o te whakaae tahi koia tēnei: "I tēnei rā ka mahi tāua i tētahi mea e pai ana ki a koe, ahakoa kāore au i te pai ki te whakaaro. Engari āpōpō, ka rerekē tēnā." Whaia tēnei tohutohu whanaungatanga mō ngā kōtiro kia rite ki tāu e taea ai, ā, mātakitaki i tō kōrua hononga e puāwai ana hei mea tino ataahua kua hangaia hei tū pakari mō te wā roa.
6. Kia maumahara kāore he tangata tino tika
Ko tā mātou tohutohu hou mō te whanaungatanga māna. Whakaaetia kāore he tangata tino tika. Kāore koe i te tino tika, kāore tō hoa rangatira i te tino tika, kāore ō mātua i te tino tika, ā, kāore hoki tō kurī pēpi i te tino tika. Ko tētahi hapa nui e mahia ana e te tini tāngata i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou ko te pupuri i tā rātou hoa rangatira ki tētahi paerewa tino teitei. He tino wairangi tēnā.
Ka hē rātou, ka hē anō hoki koutou. He mea nui kia ako tātou ki te muru i te hara o tētahi ki tētahi, me te āwhina i tētahi ki te whakapai ake. Ehara i te mea he he nō rātou te riri ki ā rātou whanonga, he pēnei tonu rātou i ngā wā katoa, ā, nāu anō i whakatakoto ngā paerewa tino teitei. Kia mahara ehara kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira i te hunga tino tika.
Ehara i te mea ko te kimi i te tangata tino tika te huarahi e angitu ai te whanaungatanga. Engari ko te kimi i tētahi e hiahia ana ki te whakapau kaha ki te whakapai ake i tō oranga. I ētahi wā, ko te kī ki te whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga hei wahine kei roto i te kore e whakatakoto i te pae o ngā paerewa me ngā tumanakohanga kia tino tiketike rawa.
7. Whakamihi i ngā mea iti
Koinei pea te tohutohu whanaungatanga tino nui mō ngā wāhine. Akohia te maioha ki ngā mea iti e mahia ana e tō hoa māu. He mea pai te kawe i a koe ki te tina, te tuku koha rānei ki a koe, engari ehara tēnā i te mea e kaha ai te whanaungatanga.
Kia aro ki ngā mea iti e mahia tonutia ana e rātou. Kei te horoi tonu ia i te whare? Kei te hoko kai katoa ia? Ko ngā mea iti pēnei me aro atu koe. Kia mahara, ehara ia i te mea he mahi, he kawenga rānei nāna, engari he aroha ki a koe, ā, e hiahia ana ia kia māmā ake tō rā.
Whakaaturia tō maioha mō ngā mea pēnei, ā, ka maioha ia mō tēnā. Ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu whanaungatanga mō ngā kōtiro ka taea e au te whakaū ko te ako ki te whakapuaki i tō maioha ki tō hoa i ngā wā katoa e taea ana. Kaua e whakaaro noa kei te mōhio ia ki te nui o tō aroha me tō uara ki a ia. Kōrerotia, kia rongo ia e arohaina ana, e maiohatia ana.
8. Tangohia te kawenga
He iti noa ngā mea e whakarihariha ake ana ki te tāne i te kōtiro e kore e taea, e kore rānei e whakaae ki te kawenga mō āna mahi, ā, e whanonga ana me te hiahia whaiaro . He tangata kē atu hei whakapae, he take rānei nō waho mō te puta o tētahi mea kino ehara i te he o te wahine.
Nā, anei ētahi tohutohu hou mō te whanaungatanga mā ngā wāhine, ko tāku e tumanako nei kia whakarongo koe ki ēnei tohutohu: me whakaae koe ki te kawenga mō āu mahi. Ki te hē koe, whakaae ki tō hapa. Kaua e ngana ki te rapu whakamārama, kaua hoki e whakapae i tētahi atu. Kāore e taea e te tāne te whakawhirinaki ki a koe mēnā kāore koe e whakapono ka taea e koe te mahi i tetahi mea hē.
Ki te kore e taea e te tāne te whakawhirinaki ki tana hoa, tera pea ka uaua haere ki a ia te pupuri i te whanaungatanga. Kia maumahara he pai te hē, mena ka ako koe i aua hē, ka mahi hoki ki te whakapai ake i a koe anō. I roto i ngā mea e tumanakohia ana e ngā tāne i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ko te whakaae ki ō hē he mea nui.
9. Ehara i te aroha anake ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe
Kua whakaakona ngā rangatahi e ngā kiriata, ngā pukapuka me ngā waiata kia whakapono ko te aroha anake te mea nui. Anei ētahi tohutohu whanaungatanga hou mō ngā wāhine, mō koutou katoa: ehara te aroha i te mutunga o ngā mea katoa. Ko te whanaungatanga e mau ana te aroha, kua tau te mate ki te hinga.
Ko tāu e hiahia ana ko te whakaute, te whakawhirinaki me te māramatanga me ngā uara matua rite. Me hiahia koe ki tētahi hei hanga i tō oranga tahi, he tangata whai kawenga, ā, kāore e maha ngā whakatau ohorere. Ki te mea ko te aroha anake tāu, kāore he mea kē atu, ehara i te mea ka hinga noa te whanaungatanga, engari ka mātakitaki koe i te mura o te whanaungatanga i tō taha, me te kore whakaaro me pēhea te whakatika.
Ko te tohutohu pai rawa atu mō ngā wāhine ki te hanga hononga pai, whai hua, ko te whakatipu i te whanaungatanga ehara i te mea ko te aroha anake. Kia rite te hiranga ki ngā uara pēnei i te whakawhirinaki, te whakaute, te pono, te māramatanga, te whakahoahoa, ki te kore e nui atu.
10. Kati te whakamahi i tētahi hoa o mua hei paearu
He mea whakamiharo te auau o tēnei mahi. Ā, ko te tikanga o te mea whakamiharo, he whakamataku. Ehara tō hoa tāne o nāianei i tō hoa o mua, e kore rātou e whanonga rite ki tō hoa o mua, e kore hoki rātou e mahi ki a koe i te huarahi i mahi ai tō hoa o mua ki a koe. Nō reira, ko te tohutohu pai rawa atu mō te whanaungatanga mā te wahine, me mutu te whakarite i tō hoa tāne ki tō hoa o mua.
Me whakatau ngā raruraru o mua. He pono, kāore he hua pai e puta mai i tēnei. Ā tōna wā, ka tae koe ki tētahi wā ka kore e aro tō hoa tāne ki te whanaungatanga nā te mea ka whakapono ia kei te aroha tonu koe ki tō hoa o mua.
Koinei te mahi a te nuinga o ngā wāhine, ahakoa kāore rātou e kōrero tika ki ngā tāne. I te wā e piripono ana taku hoa, a Lisa, ki tēnei tāne whakahihi. Engari i ia rā ka haere mai ia ki te kōrero mōna, kātahi ka whakarite i a ia ki tana hoa o mua. I kī mārama atu ahau ki a ia mēnā kāore ia e mutu, e kore rawa ia e harikoa. He mea tēnā me mutu te mahi a ngā wāhine.
11. Kia mau tonu te whanaungatanga ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau
Ina whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tāne, ehara i te mea kei te uru noa koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki a ia. Kei te uru atu hoki koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau. Nō reira, he tohutohu whanaungatanga hou mō ngā wāhine ko te whakaae ki tēnei meka, kaua e ngana ki te whakarerekē. Kia kaha ki te noho hoa ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau.
He hapa noa tēnei e mahia ana e te tini o ngā wāhine, arā, ka meinga te tāne kia whiriwhiri i waenga i a ia me āna hoa. He whakaaro kino tēnei. Tērā pea kua roa kē tana noho hoa ki tana hoa pai, i tōna mōhiotanga ki tō oranga.
Ki te mea ka whiriwhiria e koe ia, tērā pea kāore ia e whiriwhiri i a koe. Ki te mea ka whiriwhiria koe e ia, ka whakapae tonu ia i a koe mō te wawahi i ana whakahoahoa, ā, kāore tēnā e hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga pumau.
12. Kaua e pupuri i te kaute
Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ngā tohutohu mō te whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga hei wahine, kāti me mutu te tatau i ngā mea i mahia, ā, i te wā i mahia ai. He hapa noa tēnei e mahia ana e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ahakoa he mea hou, he mea tawhito rānei. Ka kitea tēnei i ngā wā katoa e tautohe ana. Ka tīmata tētahi, e rua rānei o kōrua ki te whakahua i ngā ngoikoretanga katoa o mua.
Kāore tēnei i te whai hua. Ko taku tohutohu hou mō te whanaungatanga ki a koutou, e ngā wāhine, kia mutu te tatau i ngā mea kua pahure. Kaua e whakahua anō i ngā ngoikoretanga o mua, engari kia arotahi ki te raruraru kei a koe i nāianei. Ko tētahi o aua ngoikoretanga e whakamate ana i te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Kia tīmata rā anō kōrua te totohe, ka pērā anō hoki ia, ā, ka tīmata kōrua te tautohetohe mō ngā mea katoa i raro i te rā, ā, kāore he whakataunga mō tētahi o aua mea. Mēnā ka maha tonu tēnei mahi, ka mutu te whanaungatanga.
13. Kaua e tumanako ka huri rātou
Anei tētahi kōrero e mōhiotia ana e te katoa. I wehe tētahi o ō hoa i tana hoa tāne nā te mea i whakakahore ia ki te huri. He kōrero whānui tēnei, ā, kua pā pea tēnei ki a koe anō. Nō reira, anei te hapa i mahia e rātou. I tumanako rātou kia huri tā rātou hoa tāne i a rātou anō.
Mō tēnei āhuatanga, ko te tohutohu pai rawa atu mō ngā wāhine mō te whanaungatanga ko te atawhai i tō hoa rangatira kia rite ki tāu e hiahia ana kia atawhaitia koe. E hiahia ana koe kia aroha tō hoa rangatira ki a koe, kia whakaae hoki ki a koe pērā tonu, tika? Nō reira, kia rite anō te taumata o te whakaae ki a ia.
Kāore te tangata e rerekē, tera pea ka whakarērea e rātou ētahi o ā rātou whanonga hē, engari kāore tēnā e rerekē ko wai rātou. Nō reira, anei ētahi tohutohu mā ngā wāhine, me tumanako ka whakaipoipo koe i te tangata e pānuitia ana ki a koe, me ōna ngoikoretanga me ērā atu mea katoa. Ki te uru koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga me te tumanako ka rerekē rātou i muri i tētahi wā, ehara i te mea ka pouri noa koe, engari kua moumou noa koe i tō wā me tana.
14. Ka memeha te mura
Ko te nuinga o te iwi kāore e whakapono ka taea tēnei, kāore rānei e pā ki a rātou. I ngā wā pēnei, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ehara koe i te mea tino motuhake. Ā tōna wā, ka ngaro te "mura" te kare o te pūrerehua. Mai i tēnei rā ka mōhio koe ehara i te mea ko te kukume noa iho te mea e hiahiatia ana hei whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga.
Ko tāku tohutohu mō te whanaungatanga ki ngā hoa wahine, kaua e tatari kia puta anō ngā pūrerehua. Kāore rawa. Āe! I a koe e tau ana ki roto i te whanaungatanga, ka waiho koe me te kare ā-roto o te whanaungatanga piripono me te hononga, he mea tika kia tiakina e koe. Ko tētahi tohutohu aroha nui mō ngā wāhine ko te whakaae ka rerekē, ka whanake haere te āhua o te hononga e tohaina ana e koe ki tō hoa.
Ka mau tonu te aroha i hono ai kōrua, engari ka huri te āhua, i ngā wā katoa. Mā te ātete i taua huringa ka raru noa iho tō pararaiha aroha. Nō reira, akona te haere me te ia.
15. Kia rite ki te mahi mō te whanaungatanga
Ko te tumanako, i tēnei wā, kua puta ake tētahi kaupapa ki a koe. Ehara i te mea he rōhi, he waina tonu ngā whanaungatanga. I ētahi wā he tataramoa, ā, he nui ake anō hoki ngā tataramoa. Ki te kore koe e rite, e kaha rānei ki te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga, kaua koe e noho i roto i tētahi.
Ko te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua rawa atu pea māu i roto i tō ao. Kia rite ki te whakapau kaha, ki te kore ka hinga te whanaungatanga. Ka whakapau kaha te tāne mēnā ka kite ia kei te hiahia koe ki te mahi i taua mea anō. Nō reira, e hine, me whakatenatena e koe tāu tāne kei te whakapau kaha koe ki te whanaungatanga, pērā i a ia.
16. Whakakahangia koe anō
Ehara i te mea he tohutohu mō te whanaungatanga anake tēnei, engari he tohutohu anō hoki mō te ao whānui. Whakakahangia koe. Mā te roa o te wā e noho tahi ana koe me tō hoa, ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka kite koe i ētahi mea whakarihariha, whakamātautau hoki. Koinei tonu te āhua o te ao.
Ka kite koe i a rātou e mate ana, ka kite koe i tētahi taha kino o rātou e ngana ana rātou ki te pupuri, ka kite koe i te riri me te mauahara. Ka kite koe i ēnei mea katoa, nō reira kia rite koe mō tēnā. Ahakoa tāu e mahi ai, e kore e taea e koe te karo i te kitenga i aua mea.
Ā, i ētahi wā, he whakarihariha ngā whanonga a ngā tāne, mai i te kai tina i te moenga tae atu ki te kore horoi i ngā kākahu o roto i ngā wā katoa. Nō reira, kia rite ki te tūtaki ki ēnei āhuatanga ina puta mai.
Ko te tumanako, kua ako koe i ētahi mea mō te waihanga me te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora i tēnei wā. Kia maumahara, ki te whai koe i tēnei tohutohu whanaungatanga mō ngā wāhine, he nui ake te tūponotanga ka waihangahia e koe he whanaungatanga roa, whai hua me tētahi tāne.
FAQs
Ka taea e ngā tāne te noho i runga i te tūru mō te rā katoa. Akohia te noho i te tūru i tōna ritenga atu, ka noho puku i te rā, pērā i a ia. Ka aroha nui ia ki a koe.
Ka taea e koe te noho hei hoa pai ake mēnā ka kite koe he pai ki ngā tāne te hoha, te whakanui i tō rātou wā mokemoke, te kino ki te amuamu me te whakataurite ki tō hoa o mua.
E hiahia ana rātou kia mārama te tangata, kia kaha hoki ki te whawhai me te whakaute. E hiahia ana te tāne kia maioha te wahine ki ngā mea iti e mahia ana e ia māna, kia whai wāhi hoki ki te whanaungatanga.
9 Ngā Painga Kua Whakamātauhia o te Tohutohu – Kaua e Mamae i te Wāhi Mutunga Kore
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
He pērara pono. I kitea mai i te moana o te ngākau me te hinengaro o te tangata. He tino mārama, he whai whakaaro nui.