8 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whawhai Ātaahua Ki Tō Hoa Rangatira

Ehara i te whawhai, engari ko te āhua o tāu whawhai te mea e whakatau ana i te tawhiti o tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Ko te āhua o tā kōrua whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira te mea nui e whakatau ana i tō kōrua whanaungatanga me tōna heke mai. Ehara i te mea ko te moepuku, te aroha me te moni anake ngā marena harikoa. Ko te aroha, te māramatanga me te nui o te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi te mea nui. He whawhai anō hoki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine harikoa, engari ina pērā, ka āta whiriwhiria e rāua ā rāua kupu - ka aro ngā kupu ki te take, ehara i te āhua, ki te āhua rānei o tetahi ki tetahi.

Ahakoa te roa o tō kōrua marena, te roa rānei o tō kōrua mōhiotanga tetahi ki tetahi, kāore e taea e te tokorua te whakaae i ngā mea katoa i ngā wā katoa. Ahakoa ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e pai ana te noho tahi, he rerekē tonu ō rāua whakaaro i ngā āhuatanga maha ina tae mai ki ngā taurite marena me ētahi atu take.

Mōku ake nei, e rima tau ahau e mōhio ana ki taku tāne i mua i tō māua marena, ā, e kore ahau e teka, i ētahi wā te āhua nei kāore māua e whakaae ki tetahi mea! Ahakoa ko ngā whāinga moni, ko te tina o te mutunga wiki rānei, te āhua nei ka tautohetohe māua mō ngā mea katoa. I ētahi wā, ko aua tautohetohe noa o ia rā ka puta hei whawhai kino; koia mātou i whakatakoto ai i ētahi ture matua kia kore ai e whara tetahi i tetahi ki ngā kupu wero. Ā, ka whai hua, ka whawhai māua, ka tautohe māua, ka tautohetohe māua, engari kāore māua e whiti i te rohe.

Āe, he pono , me noho tonu i roto i te rārangi.

8 Ngā Huarahi Hauora hei Tautohe ki tō Hoa Rangatira

I a māua e tuhi ana i te pukapuka ture mō te whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira, i whakatau māua kia arotahi tō māua riri ki te raruraru, kaua ki a māua anō; nā tēnei i āwhina i a māua ki te aro atu ki ā māua tautohetohe kia noho tonu ki roto i ngā rohe kua whakaritea.
Hei tauira, i roto i tētahi tautohe nui, ka taea e koe te kī atu ki tō hoa rangatira kei te pouri koe mō te mea i tupu, engari kaua e takahi i te rohe mā te kī atu, "Nā te āhua o tō whakatipuranga tēnei."

Nā, anei ngā huarahi e waru hei tautohetohe me te whawhai tika ki tō hoa rangatira.

1. Whakaharatauhia te whakarongo me te manawanui, me te kore e whakararuraru

He toi te whakarongo, he pūkenga e whakawhanakehia ana mā te mahi. Ā, ina whakarongo koe ki tētahi, kia mārama hoki ki ngā kupu. Pērā i tō whakarongo puku i tō rā tuatahi, kia tino whakarongo koe ki tō hoa rangatira, kaua e hoatu kupu ki roto i tōna waha. Kaua e whakararuraru, engari me pātai atu koe ina mutu te kōrero a te hoa rangatira. Mā ngā whakararuraru ka huri wawe i ia kōrero hei tautohe.

Ko te nuinga o te tangata ka toa i te haurua o te tautohetohe mā te whakarongo ki te tangata kē; nā te mea mā te whakarongo ki te tangata ka mōhio ia he mea nui, he mea whakaute hoki. Ā, ko te tikanga o tēnei kare ā-roto ka mārama ia ki a ia. He aha atu anō te mea e hiahiatia ana e te tangata pukuriri hei whakamarie i a ia?

2. Kaua e parai i ngā raruraru i raro i te whāriki

He kaupapa whakararuraru tā ia tokorua, e mōhio ana rāua ka ara ake he tautohetohe. Engari kaua e huna, ka kōrerohia, ka karohia hoki ngā raruraru nunui.

Kei te tere haere tō karaka koiora, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te kōrero mō te wā e whānau ai he tamariki, ko tāu tāne ia e hiahia ana ki te arotahi ki te penapena inaianei – he nui noa iho tēnā hei āwhina i tētahi pakanga nui. Engari, ehara i te mea me whakaroa koe i te kōrero mō ēnei take, me te noho pōuri tonu, me te noho pukuriri tonu i roto i a koe.

Me kōrero, me whawhai, me whakaaro, ā, me whakatau.

Ahakoa ka tautohetohetia tētahi take, kāore rātou e oma atu i taua take, e kī ana kei te pai ngā mea katoa. Ka aro atu ngā tāne me ngā wāhine harikoa ki ō rātou raruraru, ka whakatau me te otinga, ā, kāore rawa e oma atu i te whai wāhi atu ki ngā tautohetohe hauora.

3. Kaua rawa e whakahua ingoa kino. Āe, kua mutu.

Koinei te ture tuatahi a taku tāne mō te whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira. Ahakoa tōna riri, tōna pouri rānei, kāore anō ahau kia kite i a ia e kōrero kino ana ki ahau, ki tētahi atu rānei. Ahakoa te nui o taku mihi ki a ia, kei te riri ahau ki a au anō nā te mea ka taea e au te whakakino i a au ahakoa he kaihoko. Ae, ae, he hapa tēnei, ā, kei te ngana ahau ki te whakapai ake i taua wāhanga!

Kua ngana ā-hinengaro ahau ki te whakauru i tēnei tikanga i roto i ngā tau, ā, kua kite ahau i tēnei ka ārai i te mamae me te taupatupatu koretake. Mā te karanga ingoa kino ka tahuri ke atu i te kaupapa e kōrerohia ana, ā, he mea whakarihariha, he kore whakaute, he āhua kura tuarua te huri ki te whakapae me te karanga ingoa kino. Ko te pānga o te karanga ingoa kino i roto i te whanaungatanga he mea whakakino, he mea whakapōrearea, he mea whara hoki.

Nō reira, kāore he karanga ingoa kino. ĀE.

4. Kua hipa te wā o mua. Waiho kia noho tonu ki reira

He mea nui kia kaua e tukua ngā mea pēnei i ngā hapa o mua me ngā whanaungatanga o mua kia pā ki te āhua o nāianei.

I a māua e rua, e rima tau te roa o te whakaipoipo, he nui ngā mōhiotanga o mua o tētahi ki tētahi. Nā tēnā anō hoki, ka taea e māua te tohu tetahi ki tētahi, hei ngana ki te whakararuraru i te take e pā ana ki te tangata. I te wā e tautohe ana, ka mea taku tāne he maha tonu taku pōhēhē, nā te maha o ngā panonitanga i roto i taku mahi, ka mamae. Ā, i taku pakaru o te ngākau, ka whakapāha ia, ā, ka waiho hei ture mā māua kia kaua rawa e kōrero mō tetahi mea i mahia e māua i mua. Kāore he pānga, he mamae, he whakaiti hoki.

5. Whakaaetia ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi ki tētahi

I a koe e tautohetohe ana, me whakaae tetahi ki tetahi ki te riri, te pōuri, te mamae, te pouri rānei. Mō tētahi kōrero whai hua, me whakataka tō pū, me whakatuwhera tō ngākau. Ahakoa he aha ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa rangatira, me whakaae koe ki aua kare ā-roto, me whakaae, me whakaaro ki aua kare ā-roto, kātahi ka whakatau i te mea pai.

Kaua e rite ki te tangata e kōrero anake mōna ake, mō ōna kare ā-roto me āna tumanakohanga.

Pānui e pā ana: I whakarērea ahau e taku hoa wahine nā te kore mārama, kei te pouri ahau

6. Kaua e whakapae noa, engari me pātai

Ko te mea māmā rawa ko te whakaaro, te whakatau, kātahi ka pōuri. Engari he tika tēnā? I riri tonu ahau i mua nā te mea he maha ngā pātai a taku tāne e pātai mai ana ki ahau mō te mea kotahi. Nō muri mai, ka mōhio ahau ka mārama ia mā te pātai.

Ina pātaihia ngā pātai me te whakaute, me te whakautua hoki i runga i te hua, ka taea te karo i ngā māramatanga hē maha. Koinei tonu te āhua o te pakanga hauora. Ko ngā whanaungatanga harikoa, hauora, e tohuhia ana e ngā kōrero tuwhera, ngā pātai me ngā tautohetohe. Ehara i te whakapae noa.

Ko te mea ngaro ki te whai tautohetohe hauora ko te whakamārama i ngā māramatanga hē mēnā he māramatanga; kaua e whakatipu i aua māramatanga.

7. Kia maumahara, ehara i te mea ko te wikitoria te kaupapa

Kua whakaakona tonutia tātou kia toa, kia whakaatu kei te tika tātou. Engari he rerekē te kēmu o te marena. I roto i te marena, ko te huarahi tika ki te whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira ko te arotahi ki te take e pā ana ki a koe, me mahi tahi ki te whakaoti rapanga, kaua e ngana ki te whakaatu he tika, he hē rānei tetahi. Whakakorea te kāri kaute hinengaro, ā, me whakatau i ngā take, kaua e tika, he hē rānei. Me whawhai hauora, kaua e ngana ki te toa i ngā wā katoa.

8. Hei whakamutunga, kia maumahara kei roto koutou i tēnei mahi hei tīma

Ahakoa te kaha o te tautohetohe, me mahara koe he rōpū kotahi kōrua, ā, he whāinga kotahi tā kōrua. Koinei te huarahi tika ki te whawhai ki tō hoa. Ahakoa mō ō penapena, mō te mātauranga o tāu tamaiti, mō te neke rānei ki tētahi atu tāone, kei roto kōrua i ngā mea katoa hei kotahi. Kaua e paunatia ngā painga me ngā huakore takitahi, kaua hoki e whakanui ake i a koe i tō hoa rangatira – he mea whakakore tēnā i te whakaaetanga.

Ahakoa te wero, te awha rānei, ki te aroha tonu kōrua tetahi ki tetahi , ka puta ko kōrua hei toa i ngā wā katoa. Ahakoa te aha, ko te harikoa tūturu ko te whiti o te tokorua i roto i ngā āhuatanga uaua e pupuri ringa ana, e anga atu ana ki ngā wero o te ao hei kotahi.

He aha te āwhina o te tautohetohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga?

I roto i te whanaungatanga, he mea noa te whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira i ētahi wā. Ina hoki, e kīia ana he nui ake te morearea o te kore tautohetohe i te whawhai pinepine. He mea hanga kare ā-roto te tangata. He hiahia me ngā wawata anō tō ia tangata, tō ia tangata i te ao. He rerekē anō hoki ngā huarahi i whakatipuria ai tātou katoa. Ko te tikanga he rerekē ngā tumanakohanga o ia tangata mō te aroha, he rerekē ngā momo reo aroha me ngā tirohanga rerekē mō te whakaatu i te aroha o te tangata.

Nō reira, he pai ki te riri i ētahi wā ki tō hoa rangatira — ina koa mēnā kāore i tutuki i a rātou ō tumanakohanga, ō hiahia rānei. Engari ko te mea kāore i te pai ko te pupuri i te katoa ki a koe anō, me te tuku i ngā kare kino kia koropupū, kia pakaru te whanaungatanga mai i roto. He pai ake te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto ki tō hoa rangatira, ahakoa ka ārai rātou, ā, ka huri hei tautohe. Ko te huarahi tika ki te whawhai ko te whakaute i te tangata kē atu i te roanga o te tautohe. Mā te tuku i ngā kare ā-roto katoa e kore e āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ō kare ā-roto, engari ka kite tō hoa rangatira kei te pouri koe, me te take, te āhua rānei, i pāngia ai koe e ā rātou mahi, ā rātou kōrero rānei.

Ko te tikanga, he mea āwhina te whai wāhi atu ki te pakanga hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga i ētahi wā. Engari he mea nui anō hoki kia noho hauora, kaua e tukua kia huri hei ngangau kino. Anei ngā huarahi rerekē e taea ai e te tautohetohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga te āwhina i te whanaungatanga:

Pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu o te Hototahitanga o te Hononga i waenganui i a Koe me tō Hoa

1. Mā tēnei ka mārama ake tō hoa ki a koe

Kāore he tangata e taea te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. I ētahi wā ka hē tō hoa nā te mea kāore ia i te mōhio ki tāu e hiahia ana. Nō reira, he mea nui kia mōhio tō hoa ki ngā āhuatanga me ngā hapa i mahia e ia, kia mōhio ai ia ki ngā mea hei mahi, ngā mea kāore e tika ana, me te take he aha te hiranga o tēnei ki a koe.

Ahakoa kei te whawhai kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira, kia whakarongo koe, kia ngana hoki ki te mārama ki ō rāua whakaaro ina kōrero mai rātou he aha rātou i mahi ai, i kōrero ai rānei i tā rātou i kōrero ai. Kia kōrero, kia tautohetohe rānei kōrua i runga i te whakaute, ahakoa he whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira, kia mōhio koe ka pai ake te māramatanga o tētahi ki tētahi, ka āwhina i te hanga i te pono , ā, ka pai ake te whanaungatanga whānui.

2. E whakaatu ana ki tō hoa e aroha ana koe

Ki te whiriwhiri koe ki te noho puku ki tō hoa, kaua ki te kōrero ki a ia he aha koe i pōuri ai, e kore rawa e āwhina. Whakamāramahia te āhuatanga ki a ia, kaua e noho puku noa i roto i te riri. Ahakoa ka huri hei pakanga ki a koe me tō tāne, ko te tikanga tonu tēnā kei te aro nui koe ki te whakatika i ngā mea.

Kāore he pānga kino o te whawhai hauora ki tētahi. Kia maumahara, ko te noho puku me te riri puku, kāore he otinga. Engari he otinga pai tēnā mā te tautohetohe hauora. I roto i te whanaungatanga, he mea nui kia maumahara he nui ake te hiranga o tō hononga me tō hoa rangatira i tētahi raruraru iti noa iho. Ki te nui ake te hiranga o te raruraru ki a koe, ā, ka mutu tō kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira, ko te tikanga kāore koe e aro nui ana ki a rātou kia whakatika i ngā mea.

Pānui e pā ana: Te whakaaro kua warewarehia koe i roto i te whanaungatanga? He tohunga hinengaro e whakapuaki ana i ngā huarahi hei tiaki i a koe anō

3. Ka taea e kōrua te whakatau tahi i ngā raruraru, kaua e waiho kia nui haere

Ka taea te whakatika i ngā raruraru whanaungatanga katoa , i ngā arai katoa, i ngā hapa katoa, mena ka ngana kōrua ki te aro atu ki aua raruraru. Mō tēnā, me mōhio tō hoa ki ngā āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga. He pai ngā tautohetohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga hei āwhina i a kōrua ki te whakatika i aua raruraru. Kia oti i a koe te kōrero (te hamama rānei) i tāu kōrero, ka tae mai te wā ka taea e koe te tīmata ki te whakatika i te raruraru, kaua e murua katoatia ki raro i te moenga kia nui rawa atu rā anō ngā raruraru.

4. Ka āwhina i a kōrua kia tipu hei tokorua

Kia oti i a kōrua te whakapuaki i ō kōrua kare ā-roto, me te whakaoti rapanga tahi i muri i te pakanga ki te tāne, ka pai ake te māramatanga o tētahi ki tētahi. I muri i te pakanga ki te hoa, ka mōhio kōrua ki ngā mea e pai ana ki a rāua me ngā mea e whara ai rāua. Mā ngā tautohetohe hauora i roto i te whanaungatanga ka āwhina i a koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whakaute me te kore e tukua kia kino. Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te hanga i tētahi hononga kaha ake, pakari ake ki a kōrua - he hononga e āhei ai kōrua kia tuwhera ake, kia ngoikore ake, kia pono hoki ki a kōrua me te kore e ārai, e mataku rānei kei whakahengia kōrua mō ō kare ā-roto me ō hapa.

5. Ka ārai i a koe kei whakatau i ngā whakatau kino

Ki te karo tonu koe i ngā tautohe ahakoa he mārama ngā raruraru, ka tae mai te wā ka tīmata te kore e taea te whakahaere. Koinei te wā ka tīmata ai ngā tautohetohe ki te huri hei mea kino. Ki te tukua e koe ō kare ā-roto kino kia tupu, hei karo i te whawhai ki tō hoa rangatira, kia mōhio koe kāore aua kare ā-roto e memeha noa atu.

Ka ngoikore te turanga o tō whanaungatanga mai i roto, kia kore rawa e taea e koe te titiro ki tua atu i ngā raruraru. Ka iti ake tō aro ki te whanaungatanga me tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka akiaki pea i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā whakataunga kino, mai i te whai wāhi ki ngā mahi moepuku ki te whakamutu i tō whanaungatanga.

Nō reira, ahakoa te iti, te āhua wairangi rānei o te take, kia mōhio koe he pai ake te kōrero ki tō hoa ināianei, kaua e ngana tonu ki te karo i te pakanga. Ko te korenga o ngā tautohetohe ehara i te tohu o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera he tohu. Ae, ahakoa he whawhai ki te hoa. Nā, me pēhea mēnā ka huri hei tautohetohe i ētahi wā? Mena kei te hiahia kōrua ki te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, me te whakatau tahi i ngā raruraru, mā ngā tautohetohe hauora i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka āwhina i a kōrua kia puta mai i ngā pakanga me te kaha ake, me te aroha nui ki a kōrua anō.

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