He tangata aroha tū tata koe? 15 Ngā Tohu He Hoa Tārua Koe

Kei te piki haere te uaua o te whakaipoipo i ia rā, i ia rā. Mai i te whakangawari i te taro ki te whakangawari i te hoa, ka puta tonu mai ngā auahatanga hou i ia wā, i ia wā. I te wā tonu i whakaaro koe kua mārama koe ki ngā mahi o te ao whakaipoipo, ka puta ake he mea hou. Ko tētahi o aua auahatanga e horapa haere ana ko ngā whanaungatanga whakamuri. 

E ai ki te ako, ko tēnei momo whanaungatanga he whanaungatanga e pupuri tonu ana i tētahi hoa aroha pea hei kōwhiringa tārua. Ka mau tonu te tangata ki te whai i tētahi atu engari kāore e piri ki te whanaungatanga, e uru atu rānei ki te whanaungatanga aroha. He mamae te ngākau o tēnei momo whanaungatanga, ā, ka waiho te tangata hei kaiwhiwhi me te mana o tētahi hoa tāne, hoa wahine rānei tārua.

Mahere Whakawhanaungatanga, Mahere Tārua rānei – Kia Mōhio ki te Rerekētanga

I roto i ēnei whanaungatanga, ka whakapau kaha te tangata kotahi, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi hononga roa ko tētahi ia e tatari noa ana kia puta mai tētahi atu i pai ake. He nui ngā tohu raruraru o te whanaungatanga me ngā haki ārai e whakaatu ana kei te takaro noa ia i tō ngākau, kei te ārahi i a koe ahakoa kāore he whakaaro ki te anga whakamua.

E whakaatu ana anō hoki taua rangahau ko tēnei āhua o te rapu tonu i tētahi hoa hou, pai ake, me te pupuri tonu i tētahi hei hoa tāpui, he whanonga noa iho i waenga i te tangata. Ko te raruraru, ko te nuinga o te tangata kāore e kite kei te whakaarohia rātou hei hoa tāpui, ā, ka uru atu ki roto i te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa he tohu kei roto rātou i tētahi whanaungatanga, kāore rātou e hiahia ki te whakaae ki te tuhituhi i runga i te pakitara, kāore rānei e hiahia ki te mahi i tētahi mea mōna.

Ko wai te hoa tāne tārua?

Me mārama koe ki te tikanga o te kupu "tārua aroha" i roto i te tikanga tuturu kia taea ai e koe te tautuhi me te tino mohio mena kua wehea koe ki taua mahi. Ko te hoa tāne tautoko he tangata e whakapono ana kei roto ia i tetahi hononga pumau, motuhake, engari he hoa tāne tūmatanui noa iho ia. Ka mahi tēnei tangata i ngā mahi a te hoa tāne, me te kore he whakamana mai i te kotiro e pā ana ki a ia. Ko te kotiro, ka whakawhirinaki ki a ia hei kupenga haumaru mena ka kore e angitu ana mahi kē atu, ka kore rānei ia e kite i tetahi "pai ake" i te pae tawhiti.

Ko te tikanga, ko te hoa tāne tārua te mea tino pai he tangata pai ki te marena ki te tangata hoki e paingia ana e ngā mātua o te kōtiro. Ahakoa ehara ia i te tino ātaahua, ā, he āhua noa iho tōna āhua noho me tana mahi, ka tutuki i a ia ngā whakaritenga katoa hei whiwhi i ngā manaakitanga a te whānau mō te whanaungatanga. Ko te tāne e taka ana ki te kāwai o tētahi mahere tārua, kāore pea ia e whakaoho i te harikoa i roto i te kōtiro, engari he pono ka kawea mai e ia te oati mō te pumau. Nō reira, ko ia tonu te whiringa tuarua. Heoi, he pono ngā kare ā-roto o te hoa aroha tūmatanui ki te kōtiro, ka waiho ia ki tētahi wāhi ngoikore, ā, ka hoatu ki te kōtiro te mana ki te whakahaere i ōna kare ā-roto e pai ana ki a ia.

Te pānui e pā ana: Kōrero Whaki: Tinihanga Kare ā-roto Vs Te Hoahoa – Te Raina Pōuriuri

15 Ngā Tohu Ko Koe Tōna Mahere Tārua – He Hoa Tārua

He tohu te whai mahere tārua mō te whakamahere pai mō te heke mai, haunga ngā whanaungatanga. Ka tere te huri o tētahi whanaungatanga tārua hei raruraru uaua ka pā te mamae me te ngākau pouri ki te tangata e whakapau kaha ana ki te taha hinengaro. Ka tino pouri pea koe mēnā ka kitea e koe kei te hē tō hoa wahine. hei pūrua mōu mahere, ehara i te mea matua.

Mena kei te whakaaro koe mēnā he hoa tāne tārua kei ia kōtiro, kei te pātai rānei koe ki a koe anō "Ko au tana mahere tārua?", "He aha ia i pupuri tonu ai i ahau?", tukua mātou kia āwhina i a koe. Kia taea ai e koe te whakautu i te pātai mēnā kei te pirangi tonu koe ki te noho hei hoa aroha tūmatanui mō tētahi, me arotake tuatahi koe i te āhuatanga, me te kimi me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te whakamahia koe e te kōtiro hei tārua. Tīmata mā te rapu i ēnei tohu 15 e whakaaro ana ia he tārua noa iho koe:

1. Ka haere tonu te whanaungatanga a te kōtiro i runga i ana tikanga

Ahakoa e kōrero ana ia ki a koe, e noho tahi ana me koe, kāore ia e tino whakapau kaha ki a koe, ā, whakatūria ētahi rohe i roto i tō whanaungatanga me whai koe. Hei tauira, ka ārai pea ia i a koe kia kaua e tuku pikitia o kōrua ki ō pāpāho pāpori, ka whakaroa rānei ia kia kitea koe i te aroaro o te marea. Ka kī atu pea ia kia kaua rawa koe e waea atu ki a ia ki te kore ia e kī he pai. Kāore anō koe kia noho tahi me – kāore anō kia whakaurua ki – ōna hoa. Ki te kite koe i tēnei tauira i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ka mārama te whakautu ki te pātai 'kei te pupuri ia i ahau hei hoa tautoko?'.

2. Kāore ia e kōrero mō te motuhaketanga

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu e pupuri tonu ana ia i ana kōwhiringa ko te kore ia e kōrero ki a koe mō te motuhaketanga. Ka noho tahi kōrua, ka haere tahi ki te kiriata, ka kai tina, ka kai pō. Ki te titiro atu, he rite ki tētahi atu hononga noa engari kāore he motuhaketanga. Ka whakapau kaha tō hoa wahine ki te karo i tētahi kōrero mō te kaupapa. Ahakoa he hononga aroha, kāore ia e whakaae kia noho motuhake, ā, ka whakamahi tonu i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo. takaro ki ētahi atu tāne.

3. Kāore ia e hiahia ki te whanaungatanga ā-tinana

Ko te karo i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana tētahi o ngā whakautu ki tō pātai "Ko au rānei tana mahere tārua?" Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui ko koe tana whiringa tuarua. Nā te mea he whanaungatanga tārua noa iho tāu, ka āwangawanga ia ki te noho piripono ā-tinana ki a koe. Ka āwangawanga ia ki te pā atu ki te whanaungatanga ā-tinana me te whakamātau i ngā mea katoa. Ko te tikanga tēnei kia kaua e noho tahi me koe i roto i tētahi wāhi whaiaro pēnei i tō wāhi, i tōna wāhi rānei, kia kaua rānei e haere tahi me koe ki ngā hararei.

4. Te āhua nei kei te aro atu ia ina noho tahi rāua

Kei te kite koe kei te aro atu tō hoa wahine ki a koe? Kei te whakaaro koe kāore ia e aro ki tāu e kōrero nei? Ina whakapuaki koe i ō raruraru ki a ia, tera pea ka wareware ia ki aua raruraru, kaua ki te tuku tohutohu, ki te ngana rānei ki te whakamarie i a koe. Haunga tēnā, kāore koe e kite i ōna ngoikoretanga. Ko te nuinga o te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua ko ia e tirotiro ana i tana waea pūkoro, e aro nui ana rānei ki te taiao i a koe. Mena āe, kei te raru koe i tētahi o ngā tohu noa he whiringa koe māna, ehara i te tangata e arohaina ana e ia.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te aroha ki tētahi kāore e aroha ana ki a koe

5. Kāore hoki ia e wātea ana i ngā wiki mutunga

Tērā pea koinei tētahi o ngā tohu he kōwhiringa noa iho koe māna. Wareware ki te tango wā māu i te wiki, kāore hoki ia i te wā māu i ngā wiki mutunga me ngā hararei. Ko ō whakaaro kia tūtaki, kia haere tahi rānei, ka whakahēngia e te kīanga noa 'He pukumahi ahau'. Kei a koe te whakautu ki te pātai 'kei te pupuri tonu ia i ahau hei hoa tāpiri', mēnā ko ana mahere katoa e aro ana ki ana hoa me ētahi atu tāngata i roto i tōna ao, ā, kāore koe i te rārangi o ana kaupapa matua.

6. Kei te pupū ake ana pāpāho pāpori i ētahi atu tāne

Ka taea e koe te tino mohio kei roto koe i tētahi hononga tārua i te mea kāore he mana motuhake engari he maha atu anō hoki ngā tāne hei whakataetae māu. Ahakoa kāore ia i te pai ki te noho tahi me pānui pāpori pāpori Mō kōrua, kī tonu ana pūkete i ngā whakaahua me ngā pou me ēnei tāne kē atu. Tērā pea ko ēnei tāngata kē atu i roto i tōna ao he wāhanga o tana mahere tārua, he kino atu rānei, koia ēnei ngā kōwhiringa e whaia ana e ia me te pupuri tonu i a koe hei hoa aroha tūmatanui. Ka pātai te tangata "he aha ia i pupuri tonu ai i ahau?"

7. Kāore anō koe kia tūtaki ki ōna hoa piripono

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino mārama mō te mōhio mēnā kei te whakamahia koe e tētahi kōtiro hei hoa tautoko. Ko koe te hoa tautoko tino pai mēnā ka whakapau kaha tō hoa ki te kore koe e tūtaki ki ana hoa tata. Ko te take matua o tēnei, nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia kia whakaaro koe kei te kino haere ngā āhuatanga. Ahakoa ka tohe tonu koe, tera pea ka rapu ia i tētahi take hei karo i tēnei.

8. Kāore ia e kōrero ki a koe mō ngā mea

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino nui ko koe tana whiringa tuarua. Ana whakatutukitanga, ana harikoa, ana wehi, ana āwangawanga, ana ngoikoretanga – kāore ia e whakapuaki i ēnei mea ki a koe. Kei te noho tonu koe me tēnei whakaaro e whakararuraru ana kei tawhiti ia i ōna kare ā-roto, ā, ehara koe i te tangata hei hoa mōna. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu e kitea ana e ia, e whakaaro ana ia he mea hei tautoko noa iho koe. Tērā pea kei te pāngia ia e tētahi raruraru i te taha ngaio, i te taha whaiaro rānei, ā, ka kitea e koe i muri i ngā wiki, kaua i te wā e taumaha ana ia mō taua mea. Ko ia anake e hiahia ana ki tō aro, ehara i a koe.

9. Kāore te kōtiro i te aro nui ki te whanaungatanga

Ko tētahi atu tohu o tētahi hononga tārua ko te kore o tō hoa rangatira e aro nui ana ki te whanaungatanga, ki a koe rānei, nā te mea ko koe tana whiringa tuarua. I te nuinga o te wā, ina whakaipoipo koe i tētahi, ka noho ko rātou hei arotahi mō tō oranga. Ki te kore ia e māharahara ki te tawhiti o te whanaungatanga, kua tae ki te wā ki te pānui i ngā tuhinga kei runga i te pakitara. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kitea he whiringa noa iho koe māna.

10. Heoi, kāore e taea e ia te aro atu ki te whakaaro ka neke atu koe

Ina ngana koe ki te wehe atu i tēnei whanaungatanga koretake, ka neke atu, ka whakapau kaha ia kia kore ai e angitu. Ka kite ohorere koe i a ia ka hae, ka tiaki rawa Ki te tino aroha koe ki tēnei kōtiro, tera pea ka ranea tēnei mahi hei whakarewa i tō ngākau, hei mea hoki kia noho tonu koe. Engari kia maumahara kei te mahi ia i tēnei nā te mea kāore ia e hiahia kia ngaro tana hoa tāne tārua, ehara i te mea he aroha ki a koe.

11. Ko ngā tautohetohe katoa ka arahi ki ngā tauhohenga whakaharahara

Ia wā ka ngana koe ki te kōrero ki a ia mō āna whanonga, ka mutu ka tangi ia, ka tino whakaari rawa. Ahakoa ka ngana koe ki te wehe i a ia, ka whakamahia e ia ngā mahi tinihanga katoa hei pupuri i a koe ki te whanaungatanga e kiia nei ko te whanaungatanga ki a ia. Nā te mea e hiahia ana ia ki te pupuri i a koe mō te roa e taea ana e ia hei mahere tāpiri. Kaua e tukua tēnei whanonga kia whakararu i a koe, kia whakakī rānei i a koe ki te wehi kei ngaro ia. Me mōhio koe ki tāna e hiahia ana mai i tēnei whanaungatanga hei painga mōu, hei oranga ngākau hoki.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaipoipo Hī Ika - Te Auahatanga Whakaipoipo Hou

12. Ka hoki whakamuri ia i ngā mahere i te meneti whakamutunga

Ia wā ka whakarite kōrua i tētahi mahere hei mahi tahi i tētahi mea, he maha ngā wā ka whakakorea e ia i te meneti whakamutunga mēnā he mea e hiahia ana ia ki te aro atu. Me kī he rā whaiāipo kua whakaritea engari kei te haere āna hoa ki te pāti. Ki tōna whakaaro he nui ake te ngahau o tēnei, nō reira ka whakakorea e ia āna mahere me koe me te kore whakaroa. Tērā pea kua pau te moni me te wā ki te whakamahere i tēnei rā, engari kāore ia e aro ki ō mahi.

Ae, tera etahi ahuatanga motuhake ka nui ake te hiranga o ētahi atu herenga i tō tātou oranga aroha. Engari ki te mea he noa ake tēnei whanonga i te mea motuhake, ehara koe i te mea nui ki a ia. Ko te wawe o tō mōhio koinei tētahi o ngā tohu āwangawanga kei te pupuri tonu ia i ana kōwhiringa, ko te pai ake mōu.

13. He nui te utu mō te whakaipoipo i a ia

Ina ko koe te hoa tāne whakakapi, ka rite koe ki te kau moni ka taea te miraka i ngā wā katoa e hiahiatia ana. Mena kua ngaro tana reti, kāore rānei e taea e ia te utu i ngā hu e tino hiahiatia ana e ia, ka haere mai ia ki a koe ki te tono kia āwhina koe i a ia. E kore rawa ia e tuku awhina ina haere tahi kōrua, ā, ka tumanako ia kia utua e kōrua ngā kiriata, te tina, me ērā atu mea. Nō reira, kaua e hanga he whanaungatanga tinana pai, ā, hononga kare ā-roto Ki a koe, ko tana arotahi ko te whai hua mai i tēnei whanaungatanga. Kei te whakaaro pea koe mēnā he hoa tāne tārua tō ia kōtiro. Ahakoa ehara tēnā i te pono, tera pea kei te manaaki tō wahine i a koe pērā i te hoa aroha tūmatanui.

14. Ka whakarite ia i a koe ki ētahi atu tāne

Ko te kōtiro e tautoko ana i a koe hei mahere tārua, tera pea ka whakataurite tonu i a koe ki ētahi atu tāne o tōna ao. Ka kimi tonu ia i ō hapa, ka whakamahi i ō ngoikoretanga hei whakaiti i a koe. Ki te tunu kai koe māna, ka kōrero ia ki a koe me pēhea te whakapai ake a tana hoa tāne i te rā. Ki te kawe koe i a ia ki tētahi wāhi, ka kōrero ia ki a koe me pēhea te whakarite a tētahi atu tāne i tētahi rā pai ake. Kāore he mea e mahia e koe e ranea, ā, ka whakaiti tonu ia i a koe.

15. E kī ana tō puku kei te hē tetahi mea

E kore rawa ia e whakamanawanui, e whakaharikoa rānei i a koe. Kei te noho koe me te whakaaro tonu kei te hē tetahi mea, kei te ngaro tetahi mea i roto i tō whanaungatanga, ā, ka huri tēnei hei hoa tāne koretake. Ki te mea kei roto i tō ngākau he hoa tāne tārua noa iho koe ki a ia, whakaaetia, ka ngana ki te whakatika i te huarahi me te whakaaro ko te mea pai rawa atu māu.

He mamae ina kore te tangata, he tangata nui ki a koe, e whakahoki mai i ō kare ā-roto. He mamae ina whakaarohia koe e ia he kōwhiringa noa iho, he hoa aroha tūroa rānei ka taea e ia te hoki atu ki a ia mena kāore ia e kimi i tētahi 'pai ake' i a koe. Engari, kia mahara, ahakoa te nui o tō aroha ki a ia, te nui rānei o te mamae o te noho hei hoa tautoko māna, ehara i te mea pai te noho tonu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei.

Ngā Mea Me Mōhio Koe Mō Ngā Hoa Tūmau me Ngā Hononga

Ka taea e te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tāruarua te whakapoauau, te taumaha hoki i te wā kotahi. Kei roto tonu koe i te raruraru nā te mea kāore koe i te mōhio mēnā kei te aroha anō te tangata e arohaina ana e koe ki a koe. Kāore koe i te mōhio mēnā kei a koe ia nā te mea he tino aroha ia ki a koe, nā te mea rānei e kite ana ia i a koe he hoa aroha tūroa, he mahere tārua rānei. Mā tēnei rangahau i whakahaerehia i te UK i te tau 2014 ka whakamārama i ngā āhuatanga o aua whanaungatanga:

• E whakaatu ana te rangahau he nui ake ngā hoa tautoko a ngā wāhine i ngā tāne.
• He nui ake ngā whanaungatanga whakararuraru a ngā wāhine kua moe tāne i ngā wāhine takakau.
• Ko te hoa tautoko mō te wahine he hoa tawhito, he hoa rānei. Ko te tikanga, he hoa kua roa nei e pupuri ana i te aroha ki a ia.
• 12% o ngā wāhine i roto i te rangahau i kī he kaha ō rātou kare ā-roto mō te hoa tautoko.

Kāore he mea e mamae ake ana i te manaakitanga o te tangata e arohaina nuitia ana e koe, me te mea he kōwhiringa noa iho. I roto i te ao whakaipoipo, e mōhiotia ana tēnei tangata he hoa aroha tūmatanui e mau ana i roto i te whanaungatanga whakamuri. Ka waiho koe kia whakaaro he aha tāu i mahi ai kia tika ai tēnei momo manaakitanga. Āe, kāore rawa. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō ina ko tō hoa te he. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Tohu Kua Tae Te Wā Ki Te Mutu Te Whai I Te Kōtiro E Pai Ana Ki A Koe, Me Te Hoki Atu

He aha ngā take e hiahia ai ngā wāhine ki tētahi hoa tāne tārua?

Ko ngā wāhine kāore i te tino mōhio mō tō rātou heke mai, he nui ake te tūponotanga ka whai hoa tāne tārua. Kāore rātou e hiahia kia waiho mokemoke, kia meinga rānei kia whakaaro kāore rātou e hiahiatia ana, kāore hoki e arohaina, koia te take he kōwhiringa tārua tā rātou mēnā kāore e pai ngā mea me tā rātou hoa o nāianei. Ko ngā take mō tēnei pea ko tētahi o ēnei e whai ake nei:

• Kāore rātou e hiahia kia noho ko rātou anake, ahakoa ko te tikanga me noho tahi rātou me tētahi tangata kāore rātou i te tino aroha.
• Mā te whai hoa tāne tārua ka kore e mahue te wā e tutuki ai ngā kaupapa nui pēnei i te marena me te tamariki.
• Kāore rātou e hiahia kia he te huarahi o ā rātou mahere, o ā rātou moemoeā rānei, mēnā kāore e kitea te hoa "tino pai" mō rātou.
• Ka taea e te tangata aroha tūmatanui te whakatutuki i ōna hiahia kare ā-roto kia kitea rā anō e ia "te tangata tika".

Ahakoa te take, ehara i te mea tika te whakaaro ki tētahi e aroha pono ana ki a koe he hoa tautoko, he hoa aroha tūmatanui rānei. Kei te whakaaro noa koe he mea noa iho rātou, ā, kei te takaro ki ō rātou kare ā-roto. Whakaarohia mēnā i pērā te mahi a tētahi e arohaina ana e koe ki a koe. He aha ō kare ā-roto? He mea whakarihariha, he mea hē hoki te whakaaro ki tētahi e aro nui ana ki te whanaungatanga me te mea kāore he aha.

Kia Noho, Kia Kore rānei?

Kāore e taea te kī he wheako whakaharikoa te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tāruarua. Nō reira, tera pea ka puta he raruraru "kia noho, kia kore rānei" i tētahi wā. Āe, ki te mea kei te rapu noa koe i tētahi takoto noa he hononga noa iho rānei, kāti kāore pea he kino o te noho hei mahere tārua. I tēnei horopaki, kāore koe i te tino aro ki te here. 

Heoi, ki te hiahia koe ki tētahi herenga pono, roa hoki, me wehe atu koe i te wā e taea ai. He aha e kore ai e rapu i te aroha o tōu ao, kaua e moumou i tō wā, i tō kaha me ō rauemi ki tētahi whanaungatanga takoto kau?

He Aratohu mō ngā Tāne Mā ki te Whakaipoipo

Me pēhea taku neke atu i te aroha taha-kotahi? E kī ana tā mātou tohunga ki a koe…

10 Ngā Tohu Kei te Neke Koe Mai i Ngā Hoa Ki Ngā Aroha

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.