Me aha koe mēnā kei te pupuri ia i a koe hei tārua engari ehara i te mea nui

Aroha Kotahi-Taha | February 9, 2018 | Simona Terron , Kaiako Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero
Whakahōungia i te: 5 o Pēpuere, 2024

Porohia te aroha

Ki te mea kei roto i tō whanaungatanga kei te whakaaro tonu koe, "Kei te pupuri tonu ia i ahau hei mahere tārua?" E hine, whakatangihia te whakaoho. Kia kore ai koe e taka ki te ringa o tētahi tāne kore aroha, me whakatūpato koe i ō whakaaro katoa, me te rapu i te mea e tupu ana i roto i tō whanaungatanga.

Ka wareware rānei ia ki te waea atu ki a koe i muri i te mahi? Kāore rānei ia e aro ki a koe i te wā e tino hiahia ana koe ki a ia? Mena kei te karo tō hoa i a koe, kei te mangere, kei te ngākau mātao hoki ki a koe, tera pea ehara koe i te mea nui ki a ia. Engari, ko wai rā?

Kei te puritia ahau e ia hei tārua?

Ripanga o Ihirangi

He maha he tohu kei te mahere tārua noa koe he hoa aroha tāruarua rānei. Mēnā kei roto katoa i te rārangi, ā, ka kitea ko koe te whiringa tuarua a tētahi, kua tae ki te wā ki te huri i ngā mea. Mēnā kua hoha koe ki te noho hei whanaungatanga 'mēnā he take noa iho', ki te whai rānei tētahi e whakaaro ana ki a koe me te mea he 'tērā pea', pānuihia tonu kia mōhio ai koe ki te aha e whai ake nei.

Kati te pātai ki a koe anō "Ko au tana mahere B?", ā, tangohia te āhuatanga ki roto i ō ringaringa ake. Ki te mea kua hoha koe ki te noho hei kanikani tārua i roto i te whare kanikani o te aroha, anei he aratohu 7-taahiraa hei whakatika i te āhuatanga:

1. Aromatawai mōrearea

E ai ki te tikanga, he petipeti te aroha. Kāore he taurangi ka kokoti tātou i tā tātou i rui ai, ā, tera pea ka taea e tātou te haumi i ā tātou mea katoa ki tētahi tangata, engari ka huri ō rātou whakaaro mō ō rātou kare ā-roto mō tātou. Engari koinei te wāhi e takoto ai te whakahihiri, ā, ko te wero kia tika te mea e tino whakahihiri ai.

Heoi, ehara i te mea ngahau te noho hei mahere tārua mā tetahi. I mua i tō whakatau pakari, tātarihia te āhuatanga me te āta. He aha ngā āhuatanga e pēnei ai tōna āhua? Kimihia, ā, tuhia ngā tohu katoa e pātai ana koe, "Kei te pupuri tonu ia i ahau hei tārua?"

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2. Whakaarohia ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe

Kua kī atu ia ki a koe e aroha ana ia ki a koe, e pai ana rānei ia ki te sex paiKo te tikanga he hoa tautoko ia māu, ka kitea noa e ia he wā māu ina hiahia ia ki tētahi waea atu. Ki te pōhēhē koe, ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te hanga i ētahi whakamātautau iti hei kite mēnā kei te tino hiahia ia ki a koe, kāore rānei.

Ngāna ki te whakarite i tētahi rā whakatā ohorere, ngahau hoki, kia kite ai mēnā kei te whakapau kaha ia, kei te harikoa rānei ki a koe. Kia tino mōhio ai mēnā kei te tino hiahia tōna ngākau ki tēnei mea, ngana ki te rapu i te pūtake o ōna kare ā-roto.

3. Kia mōhio ki tōu ake uara

Ko te taahiraa nui ko te māia ki a koe anō. Mēnā he raruraru tōu ake whakaaro ki a koe anō, tērā pea kāore koe e kite i ana kōrero teka. Engari, kaua e kī atu "He mahere tārua ahau nāna?", "Kāore au i te mahere tārua mā tetahi atu".

Ko te whakapono ki a koe anō me te whakapono ki tō ataahua ake te mea nui ki te wehe atu i tētahi e whakamahi kino ana i ō kare ā-roto.

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4. Whakatūpato atu ki a ia

Ki te kore koe e hiahia kia noho hei mahere tārua mā tetahi, me tū koe mōu ake. Ki te whakaaro koe kāore koe i te tino manaakitia, ā, kei te whakaaro tonu koe mēnā e aroha ana ia ki a koe, whakamutua rawatia tēnei huringa.

Kōrero ki a ia, ka pātai atu he aha āna whakaaro ki a koe. Ka ngana tonu ia ki te pupuri i tō ingoa kino kia mau tonu ai tō here ki a ia, engari me mōhio ake koe.

Ko au tana mahere tārua? — Pātaihia tana whakapau kaha ki a koe

5. Tirohia ngā kōrero teka

Ki te mea kei te pūmau tō whakapono kua kite koe i ngā tohu e whakaatu ana kei te aroha tonu tō hoa tāne ki tētahi atu, me tū atu koe ki taua tohu anō. Ina kōrero koe ki a ia, ka whakapau kaha ia ki te pupuri i a koe mā te teka ki a koe.

Ko tāu mahi i tēnei āhuatanga he pupuri i tō tūnga me te pupuri i tō mahunga kia teitei. Kaua e taka anō ki āna mahi tinihanga, kaua hoki e noho ki te porowhita o te whakaaro, "Kei te pupuri tonu ia i ahau hei tārua?". Kia pai ake koe i tērā. Whakaaturia ki a ia e mōhio ana koe, ā, me tono kia utua ia mōna.

6. Whakaarohia āu ake whiringa

Ki te taka koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga me pātai tonu koe ki a koe anō "Ko au tana whiringa tuarua?", tera pea ka hiahia āwhina koe. Ki te whakaae koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga iti iho i te pai, kei a koe anō te kawenga. Tērā pea he tangata kore haumaru rānei e whakahaere ana koe i te mamae o te ngākau tawhito.

Kimihia te take i uru ai koe ki tētahi mahanga pēnei i te tuatahi. Tērā pea kei te pupū ake te āwangawanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia i roto i a koe, ā, nā reira koe i whakaae ai ki tētahi whanaungatanga i mōhio ai koe kāore i te pai te manaaki i a koe.

7. Haere tika atu, kaua e titiro whakamuri

I te mea ko koe te mahere tārua mō tētahi, ko te taahiraa nui ko te haere atu i mua i te horomia anō koe e te onepū o ngā kare ā-roto pōhēhē. Me whakatau wawe koe ehara tēnei i te mea e rere noa ana, ā, me whakamutu wawe tonu te whanaungatanga.

Ehara i te mea he kōwhiringa te whakaoti i ngā rerekētanga nā te mea kei te aroha tonu ia ki tētahi atu. Engari ina mōhio koe kua ora ia, ā, kāore ia e whakamahi i a koe hei hoa. whanaungatanga whakaora, ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te muru i tana hara a muri ake nei.

Kaua rawa e waiho hei mahere tārua mā tetahi, ahakoa tōu ngākau pōuri, tōu mokemoke rānei. Kāore e tika ana. Me aroha koe ki tētahi e kite ana i tōna ao katoa i roto i a koe, kaua ki tētahi e whakaaro ana ki a koe he takahanga noa iho. Kia tae rā anō ki taua wā, kia manawanui, nā te mea ka puta wawe mai te tangata tika.

FAQs

1. He aha koe i waiho ai e ngā tāne ki muri i a rātou?

Ka pērā rātou ina pōhēhē ana rātou mō ō rātou kare ā-roto. Kāore rātou i te tino mōhio ko wai tā rātou e hiahia ana, engari kāore hoki e hiahia kia noho mokemoke, nō reira ka waiho pea koe hei kaitiaki mō rātou tae noa ki te wā e taea ai e rātou te whakatau i ō rātou ake whakaaro.

2. Me pēhea taku whakamōhio i a ia ki tōku hiranga i roto i tōna ao?

Mā te wehe atu i tētahi tangata kino pēnei. Ka mōhio tonu te tangata ki te uara o ngā mea ina ngaro tetahi, ā, heoi anō, me wehe atu koe i tōna ao. Ki te kore ia e kite i tō uara, kāore he take e akiaki ai i a ia ki te whakamātau.

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