Kua tūtaki koe ki tētahi tangata i miharo koe, ā, i te mutunga iho ka hē te whakaaro ko te aroha te mea nui? Tērā pea i whakapono koe kua tūtaki koe ki tō hoa rangatira. Engari, ina kite koe kei te titiro noa koe ki ngā haki whero mā roto i ngā mōhiti whero, tera pea ka hinga tō ao huri noa i a koe. Mā te mārama ki te rerekētanga i waenga i te aroha me te aroha ka āwhina i a koe kia kore ai tēnei e pā ki a koe.
Engari me pēhea rā te whakatau i te rerekētanga i waenganui i te aroha me te aroha, ina tino pukumahi koe i roto i te wā o te aroha mutunga kore? I waenganui i tō hiahia nui, kāore pea koe e mōhio ki te kino e pā ana ki a koe anō.
Nā, he aha te limerence? Ka huri te limerence hei aroha? Kia whakamātau tātou i ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te mōhio me ngā tirohanga mai i ngā tohunga hinengaro haumanu Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Te Whare Wānanga o Manchester), te kaiwhakaū o Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine me te whakaora whānau.
He aha te Limerence?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I mua i tā tātou urunga atu ki te kōrero mō te aroha me te limerence, he mea nui kia mōhio tātou ki te tikanga o te mea tuatahi. "Ki te tangata aroha, he whanaungatanga ā-tinana te whanaungatanga ki tētahi atu tangata. E titiro ana rātou ki ētahi atu hei mea aroha, ehara i te mea he tangata," te kī a Devaleena. Ko te Limerence te tikanga pai rawa atu hei whakaahua i te hinengaro ina pāngia te tangata e ngā whakaaro nui mō tētahi atu, tae noa ki te wā ka arahi ki tētahi whakaaro kino e kore ai e aro ki ō rātou ake hiahia.
Whakaarohia pēnei: he aroha nui… he rau ngā wā. Kia mahara ki te puāwaitanga o tētahi aroha reka i waiho ai koe kia moemoeā mō te noho tahi me taua tangata? Whakaarohia taua āhua hinengaro, engari koinei anake te mea ka whakaarohia e koe. Ahakoa te āhua nei, e kī ana a Devaleena ki a tātou ehara te aroha i te mea mō tētahi atu tangata. Ko te mea e hunaia ana hei "aroha" he mahi tinihanga noa iho hei whakatutuki i ngā hiahia kino o te tangata. "Ehara i te mea mō te tangata kē, mō ngā kare ā-roto, mō ngā kare ā-roto rānei, engari mō te whakakī i te āputa."
I roto i tana pukapuka Te Aroha me te Whakamārama: Te Wheako o te Aroha, nā Dorothy Tennov i tito te kupu "limerence", me te whakaahua i tēnei kupu hei "hiahia nui mō te tauutuutu kare ā-roto, ngā whakaaro ā-tinana, me te whakawhirinaki kare ā-roto ki tētahi atu tangata." E kī ana he tauira tēnei o te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga he whakaiti rawa tēnā.
Ngā Wāhanga o te Limerence
Ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho tahi me te limerence i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga mō te tangata limerent. Kia taea ai te hopu wawe i te limerence, te whakahaere rānei i taua mate, he mea āwhina te mārama ki ōna wāhanga, ki te huringa rānei o te limerence. E toru ngā wāhanga noa o te Limerence, he rite ki ngā wāhanga o te aroha, o tētahi atu whanaungatanga aroha rānei.
1. Wāhanga aroha
E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro me te kaiwhakaora marena o Amerika, a Tākuta John Gottman, ko te wāhanga tuatahi o te whanaungatanga aroha ko te wāhanga "taka ki te aroha". Ahakoa he herenga poto, he herenga poto rānei, ko te wāhanga tuatahi o te herenga he tohu e rite ana ki te herenga poto. Ka pāngia te tangata e te nui rawa o ngā homoni me ngā matū e whakanui ana i te kare ā-roto o te tangata mō tētahi atu tangata. Nā te kaha o te hiahia ka ngāwari te wareware i ngā tohu kino. Anō, he pono tēnei mō ngā momo whanaungatanga aroha katoa, ahakoa he herenga poto, ahakoa he herenga hauora.
Engari mō te whanaungatanga limerent, i tēnei wāhanga, ka akiakihia te tangata e te hiahia ki te whakatata atu ki te mea e hiahiatia ana e rātou, ahakoa te urupare, te urupare rānei i riro mai i a rātou. E hiahia ana te limerent ki te whakapau i te wā roa ki a rātou, me te hanga hononga kia noho haumaru ai. He uaua ki te wehewehe i te Limerence me te infatuation i te wāhanga tuatahi nā te mea he rite tonu te āhua o rāua. Ka mārama ake te rerekētanga i te whanaketanga o te whanaungatanga.
2. Wāhanga whakatioata
I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, i te wāhanga tuarua, te āhua nei ka memeha haere te aroha nui i te mea ka āta haere te aro o ngā hoa ki ngā wero me ngā whakatau i nga raruraru ngātahi. Ka angitu rātou i roto i ngā pakanga, ka ako ki te whakaae ki ngā rerekētanga me te whakapakari i tō rātou hononga, ki te kore ka ngaro te aroha, ā, ko ngā pakanga anake e toe ana.
Engari mō te herenga ki te limerence, i tēnei wāhanga, ka mau tonu te kanohi o te aroha me te pikitia kanapa o te aroha. Ka whakapau kaha te tangata limerent ki te whakarite kia kaua e arohia ngā tohu kino. I roto i te poto, ka kaha ake te whakapūmautanga o te limerence, ā, ka kaha ake ōna tohu i mua.
3. Wāhanga pirau
I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, i te tuatoru o ngā wāhanga, kua hangaia e ngā hoa he taumata o te whakapau kaha tetahi ki tetahi. Whai muri i te ako ki te whakatau pai i ngā tautohe, ka kaha ake tā rātou hononga. I tēnei wāhanga, ka tino pumau, ka tino harikoa hoki te whanaungatanga hauora.
Engari i roto i te herenga limerent hauora kore, ka tika te kīanga o tēnei wāhanga ko te wāhanga pirau. Tata tonu ka mutu te limerence i tētahi wā i muri i te tīmatanga o te tangata limerent ki te ngaro haere i te ngākau ki te mea limerent me te anga atu ki te ao tūturu, me te aro atu rānei ki te pouri mutunga kore me te whakakorenga mai i te limerence kāore i utua. Ehara te whakakorenga i te limerence i te kōwhiringa engari he ohorere kino ki te tangata limerent.
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He kino te Limerence ki te hauora? Ngā pānga kino o te Limerence
E kī ana a Devaleena, "Āe, ko te noho i roto i te āhua o te limerence he tikanga kia whai pānga kino ki tētahi atu. Ka taea e koe te aroha me te pai ki tētahi atu. Engari ko te āwangawanga me te kaha o te hiahia he mea kino i roto i te āhua." Ka pā kino pea te limerence ki te hinengaro me te tinana o te tangata limerent.
A rangahau rangahau mō te maimoatanga o te limerence i whakaū anō i tēnei, me te kī, "Ko te wehenga mai i te LO ka puta he tohu tangohanga pērā i te mamae o te uma, te puku rānei, te raruraru moe, te riri, me te pouri." I tono mātou ki a Devaleena kia whakamārama atu i tēnei. I whakarārangihia e ia ēnei e whai ake nei hei ētahi o ngā pānga kino maha o te limerence:
- Ka tīmata te tangata ki te noho i roto i te ao pakiwaitara koretake. Ka wehea rātou mai i te ao tūturu.
- Ka heke te oranga noa nā te ngoikore o te tinana. Ka whakararuraruhia te oranga o ia rā.
- Ko ngā mea e pārekareka ana ki te tangata ka tīmata te noho whakamuri
- Ka kaha haere ngā tauhohenga ki ngā mea
- Mā te nekeneke tonu i waenga i te teitei me te iti ka pā mai he manukanuka nui me ngā wā mataku nui
- Ka akiakihia tetahi ki te pouri me te whakamomori
- Ka taea e ia te arahi ki te whanonga ātete-ātete
- Ka tīmata pea te tangata kua pāngia ki te whakaatu i ngā whanonga tutu ki a ia anō me ētahi atu
- He uaua te wehewehe i te whanaungatanga ā-iwi me te whanaungatanga ā-pāpā. Mena kua piripono te tangata ki tētahi hononga, tera pea ka hiahia ia ki te tinihanga, ka whara hoki i tōna hoa me tōna whānau.
Ngā Tohu o te Limerence
He mea ngahau, he mea takaro hoki ina pānui koe mōna, engari ko te ngana ki te whakatau i ngā rerekētanga i waenganui i te aroha me te aroha he uaua ake pea nā te mea he maha ngā tāngata e matapo ana i te "aroha". Ki te kore tonu koe e tino whakapono ko tēnei kare ā-roto kino te mea e pāngia ana e koe i tēnei wā, me titiro tātou ki ētahi tohu me ngā tohu o te aroha kia mārama ai koe ki ō kare ā-roto.
1. Kāore koe i te tino mōhio ko wai rātou
Ina noho koe me te limerence, kei te whiriwhiri koe i ngā āhuatanga o te tangata e tino whakanuia ana e koe. Kāore te whakaaro ko wai taua tangata e tino hira ana, nā te mea, e ai ki tā Devaleena i kōrero mai ai, ehara te whanaungatanga i te mea mō rāua anake.
I roto i tō hinengaro, kua hangaia e koe tētahi putanga tino whakahīhī, tino whakanuia, tino tika hoki o te tangata e matenuitia ana e koe. Kia roa ake tō noho tahi me ia, kia pātai mai rānei tētahi hoa he aha te āhua o taua tangata, ka mōhio koe kāore koe i te mōhio ki a ia pērā i tō whakaaro.
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2. Whakaaro āwangawanga korekore
Kei roto i tō rā mahi ngā whakaaro mō tēnei tangata mō ngā hāora maha, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakarere? Kei te tātari nui rawa koe i ia hui/taunekeneke iti me ia tangata, e ngana ana ki te kimi i te tikanga nui atu i te mea e tika ana? Kei te moemoeā koe kia noho hei kaiwhakaora mō rātou, kia hanga tahi hoki i tētahi heke mai?
He tauira matarohia tēnā o tētahi whanaungatanga limerenceIna tae ki te wā ka puta ake ngā whakaaro mō tēnei tangata i ia meneti torutoru (tata ki ia 20 hēkona) ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakarērea, me kī koe he aha: he matenui kino.
3. Te whakawhirinakitanga kare ā-roto
Ko te tohu nui pea o te kore aroha ko te wā e mōhio ana koe kei tēnei tangata tō harikoa. Kāo, ehara i te mea ko te harikoa e pā ana ki a koe ina waea mai tētahi hoa ki a koe, engari ko ngā kare ā-roto kino, pēnei i te pouri nui mēnā kāore tō hoa aroha e whakahoki mai i ō kare ā-roto. Ina pai tā rātou whakautu mai, ka tino harikoa koe. Ina roa rātou ki te whakahoki mai i a koe mō ētahi haora, ka taka koe ki ngā āhua tino manukanuka/pouri.
4. Ko te manukanuka me te kore haumaru e whakahaere ana i ō mahi
He ohorere te katoa i mua i te rā tuatahi e tumanakohia ana kia pai. Engari ki te mea kua tae tō manukanuka ki te wāhi e pāngia ai koe e ngā tohu ā-tinana (te poto o te manawa, te tere o te ngakau, te werawera) nā te mea kua whakaatu mai tō hoa aroha i te iti o te kore aro ki a koe, he tohu mārama tonu tēnā. Ki te mea kei te manukanuka tonu koe mō te whakaatu i a koe i te tirohanga pai rawa atu ki tēnei tangata, ka mutu ka puta ake ngā raruraru kore haumaru.
5. He tuarua ngā mea katoa
Ka mutu te ora e mōhiotia ana e koe. Ko te mea tino nui ko te aro atu ki a koe me te pupuri i a ia, ahakoa pēhea. Ka tuarua tō mahi, tō mātauranga, tō hiahia, me ētahi atu whanaungatanga. Ina wareware koe ki ngā mea katoa o tō ao, ā, ka kī atu koe ki a koe anō ko te mea nui ko tēnei tangata anake, he pari pahekeheke e arahi ana ki te hiahia nui.
Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki ngā tohu me ngā tohu o te limerence, me titiro tātou ki te limerence me te aroha, kia mōhio ai koe he rerekē rawa te hiahia nui e pā ana ki a koe i tetahi mea "ataahua", "aroha" "...hononga hauora".
Limerence Vs Love: Ngā Rerekētanga Me Mōhio Koe
"Ko tāku noa he whakaaro ki a ia, kāore e taea te tango atu i a ia i roto i tōku hinengaro!" te kī a Hōne, i a ia e kōrero ana ki tētahi hoa mō tana ipo hou. Ahakoa te whakahē i tēnei hei aroha, kāore ia i tino tirotiro me pēhea te "whakaaro tonu ki a ia" ka pā kino ki a ia, ki tana mahi rānei i tētahi ara.
I te wā i riro katoa ai tōna wā waatea i ngā whakaaro, i te wā i tino piki haere te whakawhirinaki ki a ia, ā, kāore i taea e ia te noho mō te haora me te kore rongo kōrero mai i a ia, ā, i tōna taenga ki te wā kāore e taea e ia te mahi me te kore whakaaro ki a ia mō te haora me te hawhe…koira te wā i whiti ai ia i te rārangi morearea i waenga i te mea hauora me te mea kāore.
He āhua mōhio tēnei? Me titiro tātou ki ngā rerekētanga, kia kore ai koe e whakaaro hē ko te momo tino kino o te hiahia nui te kare ā-roto pai rawa atu ka pā ki te tangata i roto i ō rātou ao.
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1. He mā te āhua o ngā haki whero katoa
Ina noho koe me te limerence, e kore koe e kite i tēnei mea aroha mā te tirohanga kotahi e kitea ana e ō hoa, e tō whānau rānei. Ka titiro koe ki a rātou mā te tirohanga pōuri o te aroha me te hiahia nui, me te mea he tino tika ngā mea katoa o tēnei tangata. Kei te mahara koe ki taua āhua whakarihariha o taua aroha kotahi i warewarehia e koe kia taea ai e koe te whakatipu tonu i te aroha? E tino whakapono ana mātou i muri i ngā marama e toru, ko te āhua o tā rātou ngaungau me te waha tuwhera i huri hei take e kore ai e taea te whakamanawanui.
"Ko te take kāore rātou e kite i te hononga whero haki "Ko te hiahia ā-roto kei roto i te tangata kia whakakīia te āputa o roto. Kei te arotahi te tangata ki te aro nui ki tēnei tangata e whakaaro ana rātou ka taea e ia te whakakī i taua āputa. Ki te whakaae rātou ki ngā tohu ārai me te tuku i tēnei tangata, ka noho tonu te āputa. He mea tēnei e kore e taea e te tangata aro nui te aro atu," te kī a Devaleena.
2. Ka ngaro tō whakaaro mōu ake
Mō te aroha me te aroha, ko te rerekētanga nui pea ko te whakatenatena a te aroha i a koe kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe, engari ka memeha te wairua takitahi i roto i te aroha. "He kiritaki āku kāore e taea te kī he aha ā rātou kiriata tino pai, he aha te momo waiata e pai ana ki a rātou te whakarongo, he aha rānei te momo kai e pai ana ki a rātou. Kua taunga rawa rātou ki te whakamanawareka i te tangata kē, kua ngaro katoa te wairua takitahi."
"Ko te kino nui rawa atu ka taea e te tangata i roto i tēnei āhuatanga ko te kore aro ki ō rātou ake whakaaro, kare ā-roto, me ngā hiahia. Ā tōna wā, ka tīmata rātou ki te ngaro i te tuakiri. Nā te mea kei te mahi tonu rātou ki te hanga i a rātou anō kia rite ki ngā mea e pai ana ki te tangata, e kore hoki e pai ki a ia, kua ngaro i a rātou ko wai rātou," te kī a Devaleena.
A te wā e whai ake nei ka mea atu koe, "Ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i tētahi mea māku?", i a koe e noho ana i tētahi wharekai me tō hoa, pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā nā te mea kāore koe i te mōhio he aha tāu e pai ai. Kua whakararuhia tō tuakiri i roto i tēnei porangi āwangawanga e kīia nei e koe ko te aroha?
3. I a koe e noho ana me te limerence, ka wareware koe ki a koe anō
Ina tukua e koe tō hoa rangatira ki te whakatau i ō whakatau katoa māu, me te kī atu ki a koe anō ko ngā mea anake e pai ana ki a ia e pai ana ki a koe, ko tāu mahi he wareware i a koe anō me ō hiahia. "He rite tonu ki te mea kei te ngana rātou ki te whakarite utu. Ki te wareware rātou ki ō rātou ake hiahia me ō rātou kare ā-roto, ā, ka aro ki te hiahia o tētahi atu, ka pena rātou me te hiahia ki te whiwhi utu."
"E whakapono ana rātou mēnā kei te haumi rātou ki tētahi atu, ā, ka wareware ki ō rātou ake hiahia, ka whiwhi rātou i tā rātou e hiahia ana mai i tētahi atu," te kī a Devaleena. Engari, ko tā rātou e hiahia ana ko te whakatutuki i tētahi hiahia nui e ngaro ai tō rātou mōhio ki a rātou anō. Ka hohonu ake te hinganga ki tēnei wāhanga o te koretake, ka uaua ake te puta atu. Kāore e roa, ka tīmata koe te pouri mōu anō.
4. Me tino ora te tangata nei
Kāore, ehara i te mea kei te kōrero mātou mō te āhua o tāu kī mārire, "Ka oti ahau i a koe", ki tō hoa. Mō te limerence me te aroha, he rerekē te tikanga o tēnei. Ki te kore tēnei mea e arohaina ana, ka āhua koretake te tangata e ora ana me te limerence.
Me te mea nei ka "whakaora" tēnei mea, ka "whakatika" hoki i a rātou, engari kei te rapu pukumahi rātou i tētahi otinga mō tō rātou koretake. Engari, mā te aroha koe e hari ake, e haumaru ake ai i te aroaro o tō hoa, ehara i te mea ka "whakaorahia", ka "whakatikatikahia" rānei. Mēnā ka kore e utua te aroha, ka puta he kore whakaaro nui ki a ia anō i roto i te tangata e arohaina ana, ka pā kino ki tōna hauora hinengaro me te kare ā-roto.
5. He nui ake te hihiko o te whaiwhai i roto i te mahi whakamīharo
Ae, he pai te wā tuatahi, te kihi tuatahi, me ngā wiki tuatahi i roto i ngā hononga aroha katoa e puāwai ana, engari ehara i te mea koinā anake tāu e tumanako atu ana, tika? Nō reira, kei roto i ngā mea e whai ake nei, ko te rerekētanga matua o te aroha me te aroha. Ko ngā Rātapu e noho ana koe i roto i te whare, ngā taumata whakamarie ka tutukihia e koe, me ngā īngoa karanga whakarihariha e hoatu ana e koe tetahi ki tetahi, he rite tonu te maioha ki roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora.
I ngā wāhanga o te limerence, heoi, ko te whaiwhai te mea e kukume ana i te tangata. "He uaua te kōrero mō te Limerence me te aroha nā te mea ka taea te pohehe mō tētahi atu. Ko te rerekētanga matua ko te aroha e hiahia ana ki tētahi hononga tūturu, whai tikanga, ko te mea tuatahi ia e pā ana ki te hihiri o te whaiwhai ina aro nui koe ki tētahi," te kī a Devaleena.
6. Kāore he herenga i te nuinga o te wā
He aha atu rā te whakapuakitanga o te aroha i te kī me te tikanga pono "Kei te hiahia ahau kia koroheke tahi tāua"? Kei roto i taua kōrero te kupu whakaari mō te whakapau kaha. Heoi, ko te tangata e ngākau nui ana ki te kōrero i tēnā, kāore e tino hiahia ki te kī i tēnā. "I te nuinga o te wā ka hunga whakahihi i te whakapau kaha," te kī a Devaleena, "Ki te tirohia te papamuri o tēnei tangata, tera pea ka kite koe i ahu mai rātou i tētahi whānau pōrearea, ā, kua pāngia pea rātou e te tukino i ētahi āhua."
"I te kitenga o rātou he uaua te whakapau kaha i roto i ō rātou whanaungatanga matua, ka tīmata te whakarihariha ki taua mea. Ina tipu ake rātou me te kore he tauira mō te whakapau kaha, ā, i a rātou e tūtaki ana ki te tukino, he māmā noa te kite he aha pea tēnei." Nō reira, ki te pātai koe ki a koe anō, "Kia pēhea te roa o te noho o te noho puku?", ahakoa ka roa pea ka pā kino ki ō mahi o ia rā, kāore e roa hei whakapau kaha hua.
7. Ka puta te Limerence i te pouri
"Ko te mea anake e hiahia ana te tangata noho puku ki te whakatutuki ko te pouri kei roto i a ia, e ngana ana rātou ki te whakatutuki mā te whakamahi i tētahi atu tangata," te kī a Devaleena. "Me whaia e rātou tēnei whakahihiri, te harikoa, te harikoa, me te tere o te adrenaline."
Ko te take kāore he whakapau kaha, kāore he whakaaro ki ngā tohu kino, me te take e rapu ana rātou ki te whakakī i te āputa, he kore noa iho i te harikoa o roto. Nā te koretake o roto ka rapu rātou i ngā otinga ki hea atu. He mahi tinihanga tēnei hei whakararuraru i a rātou anō. Ki te rapu koe i tētahi o ngā tohu e mutu ana te noho puku, ka tīmata ina taea e koe te makona ki a koe anō.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata whakahihi? Anei ngā tohu me te āhua o te whakarerekē i a koe
Me pēhea te Whakahaere i te Limerence – Kia Mōhio Mai i te Tohunga
Nā te mea kua tino mārama koe ki te tikanga o te "limerence" i roto i te whanaungatanga, me tōna pānga kino ki a koe, me tōna whakangaromanga hoki i tō ao, he mea nui kia whakawhirinaki koe kei reira ngā huarahi whai hua hei whakahaere i tēnei āhuatanga. Hei whakakore i te "limerence", me mārama koe ki ō kare ā-roto, me whai kawenga mō tō āhuatanga, kātahi ka whakatata atu ki ngā otinga. Ko tā Devaleena e kī ana:
1. Kaua e whakapā atu
E kī ana a Devaleena, "Ko te otinga tino whai hua, ā, roa hoki mō te limerence, kotahi noa iho. Kaua te tangata e pāngia ana e te limerence e pā atu ki te mea limerence." rangahau rangahau e kī ana hoki mātou i kōrerotia i mua ake nei i roto i tēnei tuhinga, "(E) tohutohuhia ana kia karohia rawatia e te hunga mate te whakapā atu ki tā rātou LO, pērā i te tangata e ngana ana ki te whakakore i te whakamahinga katoa o te tarukino kua tukinotia."
Ka tāpiri atu a Devaleena, "Tērā pea me tino huri te āhua noho. Me mutu te tūtaki ki te mea/tangata o tō hiahia, ā-kanohi, ā-ipurangi hoki. Ahakoa he rerekē te wāhi noho, te wāhi mahi rānei. Ko te mea nui, me wehe atu koe i a koe anō i te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe."
2. Whakanuia te whakaaro whaiaro
E mea ana a Devaleena, "Ko tāu e hiahia ana he tirotiro tonu i te ao tūturu. Me mōhio koe ki a koe anō, me te pono hoki mō ōu wāhi hurihanga. He aha ngā mea e ārahi ana i a koe ki te piripono ki te koretake. He aha ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe? He aha tāu e rapu ana i te tangata e hiahiatia ana e koe?"
Mā te whakaaroaro ki ēnei pātai ka āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ō ngoikoretanga hinengaro. Ko te tikanga, kei te ngana koe ki te kite i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe. Mā te mārama ki a koe anō me ngā mea e akiaki ana i a koe ka hoatu he mana whakahaere ki a koe mō ō whanonga, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakarerekē i tēnā.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Huihuinga o te Mura Mahanga – Ngā Tohu me ngā Wāhanga Mārama
3. Whakangaohia he wā kounga mōu ake
A rangahau rangahau mō te maimoatanga o te limerence e mea ana, "Whakawhanakehia ngā tikanga urutau ake e whakahē ana i tō whakapono o mua me whakawhirinaki koe ki ngā kawa limerent hei whakamarie, hei oranga ngākau, hei whakamama rānei i te hoha." E kī ana te rangahau me "(…) he rārangi o ngā mahi ka whakarato i te hononga pāpori me ētahi atu painga pēnei i te whakakorikori tinana, te wairua rangatira rānei."
E kī ana hoki a Devaleena, "Aroha ki a koe ano "Ka āwhina. Tikina he pūkenga hou, whakatikahia tō kai, okioki nui, poipoia tō porowhita pāpori, whakakori tinana rānei. Ko te tikanga, kimihia he huarahi hei aroha me te poipoi i a koe anō." Ko te whakaaro ko te hanga anō i tō whanaungatanga ki a koe anō ka taea e koe te whai hononga hauora ki ētahi atu tāngata i tō taha.
4. Rapua he awhina ngaio
E kī ana a Devaleena, "He maha ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki o te hunga katoa o Limerent. Tērā pea kei te pāngia rātou e ngā tauira karo, te kore aroha ki a ia anō, me te kore e taea te waihanga hononga haumaru. Nō reira, me whakaaroaro koe, me te whakapakari i aua mōhiotanga." Mā te tautoko ngaio mai i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana, mātau hoki, ka āwhina pea i a koe ki te rapu i te pūtake o ō raruraru, ā, ka whakatau mārire, mā te whakaaro nui hoki.
He wā tino whakararuraru te pakanga ki tētahi momo hiahia nui i roto i tō ao. Tērā pea ka kite koe i te kino o te āhuatanga katoa mōu, engari mā te ārai i te hiahia ki te waea atu ki a rātou kia rua ngā wā i ia 10 meneti ka waiho tonu koe kia mākūkū me te rakuraku. Mēnā kei te pāngia koe e te limerence, e tētahi atu mea rite rānei, kei a Bonobology tētahi he tini o ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai wheako ko wai e hiahia ana ki te āwhina i a koe i tēnei wā whakamātautau o tōu ao.
Tohutohu Matua
- Ka taea te whakaahua i te ngoikore hei āhua hinengaro ina pāngia te tangata e ngā whakaaro nui mō tētahi atu tangata.
- He mate pāwera kino te Limerence, ā, ka pā kino pea ki te hinengaro me te tinana o te tangata, pērā i te mamae o te uma, te puku rānei, te raruraru moe, te riri, me te pouri.
- Ka hua ake te ngoikore o te oranga noa o te tangata ngoikore i te mea ka wehea rātou mai i te ao tūturu. Ko te nekehanga tonu i waenga i te teitei me te iti ka puta he manukanuka nui me ngā wā mataku.
- Ko te otinga kotahi tino whai hua, ā, mō te wā roa hoki ki te limerence, ko te kore e pā atu te tangata limerent ki te mea limerent, ki te mea rānei e hiahiatia ana.
- Ka taea hoki te whakahaere i te ngoikore o te hinengaro mā te mōhio ki a koe anō, mā te whakapau i te wā kounga ki a koe anō, te whai i ngā mahi whakangahau, te ako i tētahi pūkenga hou, me ētahi atu, me te āwhina a ngā kaitohutohu ngaio.
Ehara i te mea ngāwari te mārama me te whakataurite i te aroha me te aroha, nā te mea e meinga ana e te ahurea rongonui kia whakapono tātou ko te aroha nui e pā ana ki a koe he wāhanga noa iho e tika ana kia arohaina. Mena kei te pōhēhē tonu koe mō te aha e pā ana ki a koe, mena kei te pātai tonu koe ki a koe anō, "Ka huri te aroha hei aroha?", i muri i te pānui i ngā mea katoa i kōrerohia e tātou i tēnei rā, tera pea kei te anga whakamua koe ki tētahi momo porangi. Ko te tumanako ka kawea mai e ngā tohutohu kua kawea atu e mātou ki a koe i tēnei rā te mōhio ki a koe anō, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i tāu huarahi pai.
FAQs
Ae, e tino taea te aroha me te kore e whakamā. Ka akiaki te aroha i a koe kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe, i te mea ka noho tonu tetahi e tautoko ana i a koe i tō taha i ia taahiraa o te ara. Ko te whakamā, i tetahi atu taha, ka akiaki i a koe ki te wheako i ngā whakaaro whakararuraru ka whakararu i tō oranga o ia rā.
Ko te Limerence e whakamāramahia ana ko ngā whakaaro pukuriri me te pokanoa ki te tangata, te whakawhirinakitanga kare ā-roto, me te hiahia nui ki te whakautu kare ā-roto. He rerekē rawa atu tēnā katoa i te aroha ki te tangata.
He uaua ki te tohu i te wā tika o tētahi whanaungatanga poto, engari ko te whakatau tata whānui kei waenganui i te toru ki te toru tekau mā ono marama.
He rerekē ngā ariā o te aroha me te limerence. Kāore e taea e te limerence te huri hei aroha. Heoi, i muri i te rongoā i ngā take hohonu i puta ai te limerence i roto i te tangata limerent, me te panoni o ō rātou waiaro, tera pea ka whai hononga aroha rātou ki tētahi atu tangata.
Kāore e taea e Limerence te huri i te aroha pono, kāore hoki e taea te huri hei aroha pono. Ahakoa he hononga whai tikanga te aroha i waenganui i te tokorua, he matekiri kino a Limerence ki tētahi atu tangata e ahu mai ana i te moemoeā, ā, nā ngā take hinengaro hohonu. Kāore he pānga o Limerence ki te aroha pono.
Kāore a Limerence i te rite ki te aroha kore utu. Ko te aroha kore utu he aroha taha kotahi. Ka taea aroha ki tētahi mai i tawhiti Ahakoa kāore te aroha e whakahokia mai e te tangata kē. Engari, ko te limerence he kawe rawa i te aroha kāore i utua, te kore e tuku atu, me te tuku kia pā kino ki te hauora o te tangata, ki ētahi atu whanaungatanga, ki te mahi me ētahi atu. Ehara i te mea he kino te aroha kāore i utua engari he kino te limerence.
Kia pēhea te roa o te aroha me ngā huarahi 11 hei whakakore i taua aroha
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
