Me pēhea te whakaaro o te kōtiro ki a koe — 18 Ngā Tinihanga e Whai Hua Tonu Ana

Kāore he tikanga pūtaiao, kāore hoki he ariā kua whakamatautauria, hei whakamana i a koe ko te wahine o ō moemoeā. Kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i te purapura o te aroha, o te manaaki rānei kia tupu i roto i te tangata. Heoi, ki te mea kua arohia koe e te tangata, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te atawhai i taua mea, ki te mea rānei kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakaaro o te kotiro ki a koe, kei a mātou ētahi tohutohu me ngā tinihanga hei āwhina i a koe.

E ai ki ngā tohunga, kei reira ētahi āhuatanga whanonga me ngā mahi hinengaro ka taea e koe te whakamahi hei painga mōu hei whakaoho i te hiahia o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe. Hei tīmatanga, kāore he kino o te ohorere i a ia me tana kawhe tino pai i te mahi, ā, ka mutu pea ka whakaaro ia ki tō ataahua i a ia e noho ana i roto i te waka i tana hokinga ki te kāinga. Nō reira, me te kore e roa, me tīmata tātou ki te whakaaro ki te whakaaro o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe.

18 Ngā Tinihanga Hei Whakaaro i te Kōtiro ki a Koe i Ngā Wā Katoa

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakaaro i a ia ki a koe? Kua tae mai koe ki te wāhi tika. Ehara i te mea uaua te whakaaro tonu i te wahine ki a koe, ko tāu noa he whakaatu i tō kaha, whakarērea ngā kopare kanohi me ngā mea kanapa, ā, kia noho ko koe tonu (kia mau noa te "tūturu" i a koe i ngā kākahu ma, kia ātaahua, ā, kia pai te haere tahi me ia).

Kua tae ki te wā ki te poroporoaki ki ngā ariā katoa kua akohia e tātou mai i te ahurea rongonui mō te whakaaro o te wahine ki a koe i ngā wā katoa. Kāo, kāore koe e kite i tō wāhanga tūtaki-ataahua ka tūtaki kōrua tetahi ki tetahi i waenganui o te tiriti pukumahi, ā, ka mutu ko kōrua e whakawhitiwhiti nama ana. He rerekē rawa te aroha i roto i ngā kiriata me te ao tūturu . Me titiro tātou ki ēnei tinihanga tino pono e 18 ka whakatata atu koe ki te wahine e hiahiatia ana e koe:

1. Kia pono ō mihi

Ko te tangata i kī ko te huarahi ki te ngākau o te wahine mā te kōrero reka me ngā mihi pono, i tika te āhua. Kāore ngā mihi e pā ana ki tētahi ira tangata, engari, ki te tika te mihi i te wā tika, ka waiho hei whakaaro pumau. Heoi, he mea nui ake te pono i te tika.

Ahakoa ka aro pea koe ki tētahi wahine i ngā kōrero tawhito me ngā whakanui whakahirahira, kāore pea koe e kaha ki te pupuri i taua aro mō te wā roa ki te kore koe e pono. Kia mahara, tera pea tekau ngā tāne kei reira e mihi ana ki tōna āhua i roto i ngā huarahi tekau. Mā te mea pēnei i ngā mihi kua whakarārangihia i raro nei ka pai ake te tīmatanga o ngā mea:

• I tino pai ki ahau te āhua o tāu manaaki i te huihuinga o te rā nei, he tino māia koe! Kua raru koe i te mataku i te atamira?
• He tino pai rawa atu tāu rangahau mō te hui o te rā nei. He tohutohu āu māku?
• He tino katakata koe, kāore i taea e au te mutu te whakaaro ki taua katakata kotahi i mahia e koe i taua wā.
• He tino ataahua ō pou katoa i runga i te Instagram. Me pēhea te mahi i tēnā?

2. Whakaaetia ia e ia anō

Kāore e hiahiatia he kōrero whakamīharo, he ngana hihiri rānei i ngā wā katoa hei ārahi i tētahi kōtiro kia pai ki a koe . He nui ake ngā mahi toi o te whakaatu ki a ia ko koe te tangata tika māna. Kia tīmata kōrua te kōrero tonu, ā, kia pai ki te noho tahi, he mea nui kia whakaatu ki a ia ka taea e ia te noho ko ia tonu ki a koe. Mō tēnā, me waiho kia tawhiti rawa atu ngā whakaaro whakahē, ngā kōrero whakatoi, me ngā kōrero kawa.

Me pēhea te whakaaro o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe? Me whakamarie ia. Mō tēnā, me whakaae koe ki tōna taha kino me te ngākau tuwhera, me te awhi anō hoki i ōna āhuatanga pai. Kia oti tēnā, ka tīmata ia ki te kite he hoa pai kōrua, ā, ka kite koe i ngā mea ka taea e te kōtiro te aroha ki a koe.

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3. Kia aro ki ngā kōrero iti

Ko te tunu huna mō ngā rā whakatā e kore e warewaretia ko te kōrero pai, whai tikanga hoki. Ahakoa te hiranga o te kōrero, te whakatuwhera me te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro, he mea nui anō hoki kia whakarongo koe. Kaua e whakarongo noa, engari me whakarongo 'tino'. I kōrero ia mō tētahi maharatanga kawa? He aha tāna e pai ai ki te inu kawhe o te ata? He aha te mea e whakaohooho ana i a ia, e whakaara ake ana rānei i tōna wairua?

Kāore koe e hiahia ki te maumahara ki tōna rā whānau me ngā ingoa o ana kaitukumahi o mua, engari mā te maumahara ki te mutunga o tētahi pakiwaitara, ki te tangata pakiwaitara rānei e tino pai ana ki a ia, ka whiwhi koe i ngā tohu parauri. Ki te maumahara koe ki ēnei kōrero iti nei he mea nui ki a ia, ka waiho e koe he tohu pumau ki tōna ngākau me tōna hinengaro.

Hei whakaoho i te hiahia o te wahine ki a koe i te wā kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe, whakaaturia ki a ia e aro nui ana koe ki ana kōrero katoa. Mā reira ka nui ake ai ō kōrua wā whakatau. Hei tāpiri, ka pai hoki ia ki te noho tahi me koe nā te mea e mōhio ana ia kei te whakarongo koe.

4. Kaua e hiahia nui ki te miharo

Kei te whakaaroaro tonu koe me pēhea te whakaaro i a ia mōu, engari kāore e kitea he aha? Ina tupu tēnei, ka tahuri te nuinga o ngā tāne ki te whakapehapeha. Ko te tangata e whakaatu ana i te whakaaro tuatahi me te pai rawa atu, ka toa i te tohu – ko tana aro nui. Engari kia whakaaro tonu ai ia mōu, me mōhio koe i ētahi wā āhea me pupuri, āhea hoki me whakatutuki i ana hiahia.

Ki te nui rawa tō whakapau kaha, tera pea ka kitea koe he tangata aroha papaku noa iho, ahakoa he pono pea ōu whakaaro. Kaua e tino tawhiti rawa, kaua hoki e uaua ki te kimi i a koe. Kāore he tangata e pai ki te whakaaro o te whakaipoipo i tētahi kaitākaro . Engari i te wa ano, kaua e kī 'āe' ki ana tono katoa.

Kaua e tuku karere kuputuhi ki a ia i ia rā mēnā kāore anō kia whakatūria he whanaungatanga pērā. Kaua rawa e tuku karere kuputuhi rua ki a ia, ā, kaua hoki e akiaki i te wā tuatahi mēnā kāore anō kia kōrero pai ki a ia. Ki te hiahia koe kia tae ki te wā ka tino aroha ia ki a koe, me manawanui koe, me te mahi i ō rawa pai i te wā katoa.

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5. Kia pono ki ō kare ā-roto kia hiahia ai te kōtiro ki a koe i te wā kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe

Ki te mea kei te pai ia ki te noho tahi me ngā hoa, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki tētahi mea nui, me whakamōhio atu koe ki a ia, kaua e takaro noa. Ahakoa te āhua nei kei te pai haere ngā mea i roto i te wā poto, ka tere tonu te pakaru mai i tō aroaro. Ki te mea kei te pai haere ngā mea, me kī atu ki a ia. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore ōna whakaaro me āna mahi e pai ana ki a koe, kaua e mangere ki te whakapuaki i aua mea. He mea nui kia pono, kia mārama hoki koe. He nui rawa te whakamāori i te karo, te takaro rānei kia kaha ki te whakatutuki i ngā mea.

Ahakoa kei te kura tuarua kōrua, kei te kāreti rānei, kei te mahi tahi rānei kōrua, kāore he painga o te teka kia tae atu ai ia ki tētahi wā e whakaaro ana ia ki a koe, me te kore e kōrero mō ō hiahia me ō āwangawanga. Ko tā kōrua mahi anake he whakatupu i tētahi poma wā e tata ana ki te pakaru i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

6. Me pēhea te whakaaro o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe mā te tuhinga

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakaaro o tētahi kōtiro ki a koe mā te karere kuputuhi? Kia mārama koe ki ngā ture taketake o te tuku karere kuputuhi, ka kite koe ehara i te mea uaua. He huarahi pai tēnei hei whakaoho i a ia kia hiahia ki a koe me te kore e noho tinana. Mena kua kite kē kōrua tetahi i tetahi i mua, whakahuatia he meme mō tētahi mea e rite ana ki a kōrua.

He raruraru pāpori kei te whakararuraru i a kōrua? He aha rānei mēnā ka kōrero kōrua mō te whakaaturanga hou a Marvel? Mō tētahi atu āhuatanga whaiaro, tohaina he pikitia whakamarie i runga i te moenga, me te whakamahara ki a ia mō te wā tino pai i pā ki a kōrua. Mā tēnei mahi whakaipoipo ipurangi ka waiho ia kia hiahia atu anō, ā, he ngāwari noa iho pērā i te whakatuwhera i a WhatsApp, i a Insta rānei. Ae, e kore e meinga ia kia aroha nui ki a koe i roto i te pō kotahi, engari he tīmatanga noa iho, kāore? Ka taea e koe te tuku karere ki a ia pēnei i:

• E mōhio ana koe ki taua waiata i waiatatia e koe i tēnei rā? Kāore tonu e taea e au te tango atu i roto i tōku mahunga
• Kei te kai ahau i te croissant i kai tahi tāua i taua rā, he tino reka!
• Kei te raru ahau ki te whiwhi tohutohu mō te kakahu i te mahi. Kei te hiahia koe ki te tūtohu i tētahi mea e pai ana ki ahau?

Ngā Pānui e Pā Ana: Me pēhea te Whakaoho i te Aroha o te Kōtiro ki a Koe mā te Tuku Kuputuhi?

7. Whakautehia ia kia rite ki te tangata kotahi

Anei tā mātou tohutohu mō te whakahihiko i a ia ki a koe. Kāore, ehara i te mea ko tō hinu kakara, ko tō momo makawe rānei te mea e kōrero ai, engari ko te āhua o tō manaaki i a ia ka whakaaro nui ai te kotiro ki a koe. Ki te whakaiti koe i a ia, e kore ia e aro nui ki a koe. Engari ki te titiro koe ki a ia he rite tonu, me te whakaae anō hoki ki ngā raruraru e pā ana ki a ia nā te whakahāwea ira tangata, te whakaute i a ia mō tōna āhua, me te atawhai me te ngākau māhaki ki a ia, tera pea ka taka ia ki a koe.

Whakautehia āna kōwhiringa, ā, kia nui hoki ōna whakaaro, kaua e kōrero kino ki a ia, kaua hoki e tango i te mana ki te kī atu ki a ia he aha tāna e tika ai, he aha rānei kāore e tika ana kia mahia. Whakauruhia ia ki ō whakataunga iti, nui hoki o te ao, ā, me tuku atu kia whai wāhi atu koe ki āna. Whakaaturia ki a ia kei te whakahīhī koe ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi wahine motuhake . Tukua ia kia tae ki tētahi wā e pai ai ia ki te noho tahi me koe.

8. Hangaia he mahere mō te heke mai

He tohutohu hei whakaaro māna ki a koe: Ki te pai te haere o ngā mea i waenganui i a kōrua, ko te whakaatu pea i a ia ka noho tonu kōrua ko te mea nui rawa atu pea i tēnei wā. Ahakoa he mea whakakatakata te whakamahere i tō haerenga honi, he whakaaro rānei kia hokona he tīkiti mō tētahi kōnohete e ono marama te tawhiti.

Hoatu he tohutohu, he whakamātautau hoki ki a ia mō te huarahi e hiahia ana koe ki te kawe i ngā mea ki a ia. Mā ēnei kōrerorero – ahakoa mō te heke mai tawhiti – ka hoatu he tumanako ki a ia kei te heke mai anō koe. He mea nui tēnā kia mau tonu tōna aroha ki a koe. Ina whakarite koe i ēnei mahere, he mea nui kia maumahara ki ēnei mea e whai ake nei:

• Kia tino mohio kua tae kē tō hononga ki tētahi wā e taea ai e koe te whakaaro i ēnei whāinga whanaungatanga.
• Ko tāu noa iho he whakaaro i ngā mahere, kaua e whakamanahia
• Ko te whakaaro kia whakaatu ki a ia ka noho tonu koe mō te wā roa, ehara i te mea e hiahia ana koe kia noho tahi me ia i ia wā o te ara.

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9. Kia ngākau nui i roto i te whare moenga

He rite te hiranga o te kukume tinana ki te hononga kare ā-roto. Nō reira, kaua e whakaititia tō wā i runga i te moenga, engari hoatu ki a ia te pō tino pai rawa atu. Whakahāngaihia ō hiahia katoa hei whakarei ake i ō wā piripono, ā, kia aroha te wahine ki tō tinana, ki tō wairua, me te ahi e mau ana i a koe. Ki te hiahia koe ki te ako me pēhea te hanga i te moepuku kia kore e warewaretia, me te whakapakari ake i tō kōrua kukume tahi , kia maumahara ki ēnei tohutohu:

• He nui te whakamarie e hiahiatia ana mō ngā wā piripono pēnei i te taatai, nō reira kia mōhio ia kei te noho haumaru ia i a koe mā te kōrero i mua, i te wā, me muri i te mahi.
• Whiwhi whakaaetanga hihiri mō ngā mea katoa, me te mōhio ki ōna rohe
• Kia mau tonu te titiro kanohi ki a ia ina hiahiatia, pānuihia te rūma, me te tuku mihi pono ki a ia
• Ka tupu te whanaungatanga ā-tinana mā te kōrero tuwhera, kōrerotia atu ki a ia tāu e hiahia ana i te moenga, ā, pātai atu ki a ia he aha tāna e hiahia ana kia mahia e koe.

10. Kia whakaaro tonu ai te kotiro ki a koe, hoatu he ohorere ki a ia

Me whakaaro te wahine he motuhake ia mēnā e hiahia ana koe kia whakaarohia koe e ia. Mā tēnei mahi tinihanga, e kore ia e whakaaro noa ki a koe, engari ka kī atu ki ana hoa katoa he tangata pai koe. Ina aroha koe , kāore ianei koe e hiahia ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa hei whakakatakata i te tangata kē? Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakaaro o te kōtiro ki a koe i ngā wā katoa, kia mōhio ia ko ia te wahine tino motuhake o te ao ki a koe.

11. Hononga ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau

Kia mau tonu ai te whakaaro o te kotiro ki a koe, me noho koe ki roto i ngā pukapuka pai o te hunga e tino arohaina ana e ia. Kia kaha ki te mōhio ki ōna hoa me tōna whānau. Akene me inu pia me ōna hoa tāne, tungāne rānei i tētahi wiki mutunga, me tuku atu rānei he āwhina ki te whakarite i te rā whānau o tana hoa pai. Hei tāpiri, ki te pai tana hoa pai ki a koe, kāore koe e manukanuka kei hinga ia ki a koe. Kua oti i tana hoa pai te whakarite.

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12. Kia manawanui, kia pai hoki te whakaaro

Ki te hiahia koe kia kaua e whakaaro noa te kotiro ki a koe, engari kia hanga hoki he hononga pumau ki a ia, ko te manawanui me te whakaaro pai ō hoa pai rawa atu. Kaua e rite ki te oma atu i te wā e hē ai tetahi mea. Ki te hiahia koe kia aroha te kotiro ki a koe, me ako koe ki te manawanui me te tumanako. Kia maumahara ki ēnei mea e whai ake nei:

• Whakaaturia te putanga pai rawa atu o koe, me te whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō ka waiho hei whakaaro pai
• Kaua e hohoro te aroha, ka puta noa mai i a kōrua
• Kaua e meinga ia kia whakaaro me whakautu ia ki ō mahi atawhai, engari me hoatu he wā ki a ia.
• Kaua e meinga ia kia whakaaro me whakautu wawe rawa ia ki ō karere kuputuhi, me whakarongo rānei ia ki ia waeatanga. Tukua ia kia whakapuaki i tōna ake tere.

13. Kia pai te kākahu kia whakaaro tonu ai te kōtiro ki a koe

Ahakoa he mea noa iho ki a koe, he mea nui te mau i ngā kākahu tika me te akuaku tino pai hei waiho i tō ingoa ki roto i tōna hinengaro. E kore e taea te kī atu me pēhea te pānga o te mau i te hāte tika me ngā hu e ōrite ana ki tāna whakatau i a koe.

Ki te mea he kākahu tawhito tōu, kia rangatira. Ki te mea he kākahu hou tōu, kia whakaatu! Ko te huarahi anake hei kukume i a ia ki a koe ko te māia ki te āhua o tō kawe i tō tuakiri. Ko te kākahu mangere tētahi o ngā mea tino whakarihariha ki ngā wāhine , nō reira kaua e hoatu he take ki a ia kia ngaro ai tōna hiahia moepuku ki a koe.

14. Kia noho hei hoa whakawhirinaki māna

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te kukume i tētahi kōtiro ki a koe i te mea kāore ia e aro nui ana ki a koe? Kia noho hei pou mōna, hei hoa mōna, hei tangata whakawhirinaki mōna. Ki te hiahia koe ki te huri i ngā whakaaro o tētahi kōtiro mōu, whakaaturia ki a ia he nui atu i te hoa aroha, i te hoa aroha rānei koe. Whakarongo ki ōna ngoikoretanga, ā, whakaaturia ki a ia ō ngoikoretanga. Me whakapono ia ka taea e ia te whakawhirinaki ki a koe, ā, ka noho tonu koe ahakoa pēhea. Ko te haurua tēnā o te pakanga kua toa i reira.

15. Tunua he mea motuhake māna

Me pēhea te whakaaro o te kotiro ki a koe i ngā wā katoa? Kai! Ko te tunu kai tētahi o ngā mea tino reka, tino rewa hoki ka taea e te tangata te mahi mā tā rātou hoa. Whakaritea tana parakuihi kawhe motuhake me te tōhi Wīwī. Ki te kore rānei kōrua e noho tahi ana, tonoa he nūru mōna hei kai māna i te pō. Mā tēnā ka whakaaro ia ki a koe me te kore kōrero.

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16. Whakakorikoria tōna wheua rorirori kia whakaaro tonu ai te kotiro ki a koe

Ina kī ngā wāhine e hiahia ana rātou ki tētahi hei Chandler ki tā rātou Monica, ko tā rātou e kī nei he rapu rātou i tētahi tangata e ngāwari ana ki te noho tahi me ia, ā, e whakakī ana i tōna ao ki te kata. Me pēhea te whakahihiko i tētahi kōtiro ki a koe i a ia e kore nei e aro ki a koe i tēnei wā? Ka taea e koe te whakakatakata i runga i a WhatsApp, te ngana rānei ki te whakakatakata i a ia. Tukua mā ngā katakata e mahi te mahi māu. Ko te mōhio ki te whakakatakata i a ia he tino painga nui, ā, ka pai ki a koe. Kia mahara ki ēnei mea i mua i te tuhi i tētahi huinga tū mōna:

• He pai te whakakatakata, engari kaua e whakakatakata mō ngā kaupapa kāore ia e pai ki te kōrero
• He pai ngā katakata whakaiti i a koe anō ki tētahi wāhi, engari kaua e whakaatu kei te kore koe e maia ki a koe anō.
• Kaua e tawai ki tōna āhua, ki tōna tuakiri rānei

17. Puritia he tohu ngaro ki tō taha

Anei me pēhea te whakaaro i a ia mōu. Me hiahia ia ki te tūhura i ētahi atu mea mōu. He pōhēhē? Āe, whakarongo mai ki a mātou. Ki te hiahia koe kia mau tonu te hihiri me te mōrearea, kaua e tukuna katoatia ngā mea i te wā kotahi, kaua hoki e whakamahia ō kāri-A katoa i te wā kotahi. Me pupuri tonu he mea ngaro mō tō tuakiri. Mā tēnei ka mau tonu tōna aro, ā, ka akiaki i a ia kia wetewete tonu i ngā paparanga o tō tuakiri. Waihoki, ka hiahia koe ki te kōrero ki a ia.

18. Kaua e kōrero noa engari 'whakaatu'

Te noho ki reira ina hiahia ia ki a koe. He awhi. He whakapāha pono. Tōna kai tino pai. Te pupuri i te tatau mōna. Te mahi i ana whiri. Te whakarongo ki ana whakaari katoa i te 3 i te ata. Te tuku i a ia ki te akiaki ina hiahia ia. He mea nui ēnei tohu iti hei hanga i te aroha o te kotiro ki a koe. Ina tīmata ia ki te whakawhanake i ōna kare ā-roto mōu , ka mōhio koe.

Kia maumahara tonu, e kore e whai hua ngā tohutohu me ngā mahi tinihanga katoa o te ao mena kāore ō whakaaro i te parakore, ā, kāore ō mahi i te pono. Tērā pea ka aroha ia ki a koe i roto i ngā wā poto, ka tangohia rānei tōna ake wāhi me tōna wā. Ko te āhua o tō whiriwhiri ki te noho tahi me ia, me tō manaaki i a ia, ka rerekē te āhua. Nō reira, anei ngā mihi nui ki a koe. Haere ki te tiki i a ia!

I whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te marama o Hānuere 2023.

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He Pōhēhē koe mō tētahi Tāne? 18 Ngā Tohutohu hei Āwhina i a Koe

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.