11 Ngā Kōrero Kino Rawa i roto i te Hononga, me ō rātou Tikanga mō tō Hononga – Kua Whakakitea

He aha ngā kōrero teka kino rawa atu i roto i te whanaungatanga? He nui ake te mamae o ngā kōrero teka mā i ngā makawe mā. Ka tinihanga te tangata tetahi i tetahi 'i runga i te ingoa o te aroha'. Engari he tika ngā mea katoa i roto i te aroha me te pakanga? Ā, e hia te nui o te kōrero teka e whakaaetia ana i roto i te whanaungatanga? He aha ngā pānga pea o te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga? Kei konei mātou hei whakautu i ō pātai.

He rerekē rawa atu i tō kōrero teka ki tō māmā mō te haere ki te moe i te pō. Ā, ko taua hoa ko tō 'hoa tāne'. Pērā i te kōrero a te Hapa i roto i ō Tātou Whetu, 'He nui ake ētahi mutunga kore i ētahi atu mutunga kore'. Waihoki, he nui ake ētahi teka i ētahi atu teka? He hē rawa rānei te teka, ahakoa te nui, te iti rānei o te teka? Kia kitea tātou.

11 Ngā Kōrero Kino Rawa i roto i te Hononga, me ō rātou Tikanga mō tō Hononga – Kua Whakakitea

Kia pēhea te auau o te takoto a te tangata i roto i te marena? He mea whakamīharo rangahau e kī ana ka teka ngā tāne me ngā wāhine tetahi ki tetahi i ngā wā e toru i te wiki. Ae, kei roto i tēnei ko ngā kōrero teka pēnei i te tinihanga engari nā te mea e tupu ana i ia wiki, tera pea he mea iti pēnei i te "Ka hoki mai ahau ki te kāinga i te wā tika i tēnei rā". Ā, ka haria tātou e tēnei ki te rārangi o ngā kōrero teka kino rawa atu i roto i te whanaungatanga:

1. “E aroha ana ahau ki a koe”

He mea rongonui tēnei. Ko te kī atu ki tētahi e aroha ana koe ki a rātou, kia whiwhi noa i tētahi mea mai i a rātou, he momo tinihanga. I roto i tōu ngākau, e mōhio ana koe kāore koe e aroha ana ki a rātou, engari e kī ana koe nā te mea kāore koe e hiahia kia ngaro rātou. Ina kī atu a Zendaya ki a Rue, "Kāo, kāore koe e aroha ki ahau. He pai noa ki a koe te arohaina", ka noho koia te wāhanga tino pā ki te ngākau o Euphoria.

Pērā i te whakaaturanga, kāore he ara mō te whanaungatanga i hangaia i runga i te teka. Ā tōna wā, ka mōhio tō hoa kāore koe i te tino pono ina kī koe e aroha ana koe ki a ia. Engari, me kī noa atu koe, "E pai ana ahau ki a koe. Kei te kite ahau kei te haere tāua ki tētahi wāhi. Me whakaipoipo tāua, kia kite ai i te ahunga whakamua. E hiahia ana ahau kia mōhio atu ki a koe." Tiakina te "Aroha ahau ki a koe"mō ā muri ake nei (ina tino mōhio koe ki tēnā).

2. "Ka mutu taku kai paipa"

Ehara i te mea iti rawa ngā kōrero teka iti i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ina kī atu taku hoa a Paul ki tana hoa wahine a Sarah, "Ka mutu taku kai paipa", e mōhio ana ia i roto i a ia kāore ia e mutu. Engari ka whakapono a Sarah i ia wā. Kātahi ka tae mai tētahi rā ka hongi ia i te kai paipa i ōna ringaringa, ā, ka mutu ka tautohetohe rāua mō taua mea. Kāore e taea e Sarah te whakawhirinaki ki a Paul ināianei, ehara i te mea mō te kai paipa anake engari mō tana pupuri i tana kupu. Koinei te āhua o te whakangaro i ngā whanaungatanga e ngā mea ngaro me ngā kōrero teka.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te pupuri i tō hinengaro pai mēnā he tangata teka tō hoa

Nō reira, ki te mea kua rite koe ki a Paora, he pai ake te whakapuaki i ōu whakaaro, te oati rānei i te wā e pono ana koe. Ka taea e koe te kī pēnei "Kei te ngana ahau ki te whakaiti i aku hikareti. Kua heke iho taku hikareti ki te kotahi ia rā. Kei te whakaaroaro ahau hei whakamarie i aku hiahia whakatārewatanga. Engari me manawanui koe ki ahau" kaua e tinihanga noa i tō hoa.

3. "He tino pai koe i runga i te moenga"

Akoranga E tohu ana tēnei he 80% o ngā wāhine e rūpahu ana i ō rātou orgasm i te wā e moe tāne ana. I teka ahau, ā, i pakaru taku whanaungatanga mā te mahi i taua mea anō. I tino riri taku hoa i tana kitenga i muri mai kei te rūpahu ahau i taku ahuareka i tēnei wā katoa. I mea mai ia ki ahau "Ehara i te teka iti i roto i tā tāua whanaungatanga. He tohu tēnei kāore koe i te tino whakawhirinaki ki ahau, ā, e hiahia ana koe kia harikoa ahau, engari ko tō harikoa te utu."

Inaianei, ki te titiro whakamuri ahau, kua rerekē taku mahi i ngā mea. Me i kōrero noa atu ahau ki a ia he aha te mea e harikoa ai ahau i runga i te moenga, me ngā mea e whakaohooho ana i ahau. Kāore ia e māharahara ki te whakapuaki i ana mea whakahirahira. Nō reira, kāore he take mōku kia pērā. Nō reira, kaua e teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me kōrero whakamā. Ko te mea anake e hiahiatia ana he wā poto o te maia. Ka whakamā i te tīmatanga engari ina noho te pono hei tikanga, ka ngāwari noa iho.

4. "E tika ana kia whiwhi koe i te mea pai ake"

Ko tētahi o ngā kōrero teka kino rawa atu ka taea te kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga, pērā i te "Ehara i a koe, engari ko au". Ko te kupu "he pai ake tāu e tika ana" he momo aroha rūpahu e whakamaoritia ana penei, "Kua kore au e aroha ki a koe. Ki taku whakaaro kāore koe i te pai mōku. Kāore au i te mōhio mōu engari he tika tonu kia whiwhi au i te pai ake."

He aha te tikanga o tēnei mō tō whanaungatanga? Kāore i te whai i te pou whakawhirinaki. Kāore koe i te maia ki te kōrero pono mō ō kare ā-roto, nō reira kei te tinihanga koe i tō hoa. Kāore i te whai i te whakamarie e hiahiatia ana i roto i tō whanaungatanga. He wāhi tēnei e takahi ai kōrua i runga i ngā anga hua manu, e whakapohehe ana i ngā kupu hei tinihanga, kaua ko te kōrero pono noa iho.

5. "Kua kore au e whai rawa"

Kua teka koe ki tō hoa mō te 'kore moni'? He mea noa te teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga mō te moni. I kī mai tētahi whanaunga ki ahau, "I teka ahau, ā, i pakaru taku whanaungatanga ki taku hoa rangatira. I whakatau māua ki te whakakotahi i ā māua moni engari i puritia e au tētahi kāri nama ki tahaki hei tiaki i ahau. I a au anō tētahi atu pūkete peeke, kāore ia i te mōhio."

Nō reira, kaua e whakapouri i tō hoa mō te noho tahi me te tangata teka, engari me whakapuaki noa i ō moni. Kōrerohia marietia ngā nama me ngā whiwhinga moni. Pātai atu ki tō hoa, "E hia te moni me kohikohi? E hia te moni me pupuri mā tātou anō?" Me rapu tohutohu pūtea, mēnā e tika ana. Ko te pānga pouri o te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko te tinihanga pūtea ka taea te waiho hei take mō te wehenga.

6. "Kua wareware ahau ki taku hoa o mua"

Kei te kōrero tonu a Synthia ki tana hoa wahine, "Kua ngaro rawa atu ahau i taku hoa o mua. He tino kino taua whanaungatanga i te wā o mua. Kāore au e whakaaro ki a ia. He tino kino ia, ā, he kino ki ahau. Kāore he mea hei manukanuka māu." I taua wā, kāore e taea e Synthia te mutu te whai i tana hoa o mua i runga i te Instagram. Kei te aukati tonu ia, kei te wetewete hoki i tana hoa o mua. Ka waea ataata anō hoki ia ki tana hoa o mua i ngā hāora o te pō.

He mamae te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi tangata teka pērā i a Synthia. Ko tā Synthia mahi he momo tinihanga iti. Engari he aha te take e teka ai te tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga? ako mō ngā teka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e tohu ana te mawhiti i te tinihanga ka pai te wairua o te tangata. Ka kiia tēnei ko te 'cheater's high'.

Mā te mahi i tētahi mea kāore i te tika, i te rāhuitia hoki, ka waiho te tangata kia aro nui ki ō rātou "hiahia" i runga ake i ō rātou "tikanga". Nō reira, ka aro katoa rātou ki ngā hua o nāianei/ngā hiahia poto, kaua ki te whakaaro ki ngā hua mō te wā roa pērā i te whakaiti i te whakaaro ki a rātou anō, te mōrearea rānei ki te ingoa pai.

7. “Kāore au i te kī pēnā”

I ētahi wā ka kōrero kino te tangata i runga i te ingoa o te 'katakata', kātahi ka mea "Kāore au i te whakaaro pēnā" kei pā mai te riri. Koinei tētahi o ngā mea kino rawa atu. kei roto i tētahi whanaungatanga... Ae rā, koinā te tikanga. I pania noa e rātou hei kata. Ki te kukume tō hoa i a koe ki raro, ā, ka whakapouri i a koe mōu anō, he tino takahi tēnei i te whakaaetanga. Kaua koe e noho hei tangata kāore e hototahi ki ō uara matua.

Hei tauira, ehara i te mea whakakatakata te whakama tinana, te tawai rānei i te kiri o tētahi. Mēnā kua pā mai tētahi mea kino ki a koe, ā, ka tawai tō hoa, ehara i te mea whakakatakata. Ka pā kino pea ēnei āhuatanga ki tō hauora hinengaro. Mēnā ka kite koe i tēnei hei tauira pumau, kia kaha tonu te kōrero, ā, me whakatakoto he rohe mārama mā te kī atu "Whakarongo mai, ki taku whakaaro ehara tēnei i te whakakatakata. Whakamātauria pea ō mahi whakakatakata hou (arā, ko ngā mea e kore e kino?)"

Pānui e pā ana: 9 Tauira o ngā Rohe Kare ā-roto i roto i ngā Hononga

8. "E te Atua, me i tika te wā"

Koinei tētahi o ngā kōrero teka kino rawa atu i roto i te whanaungatanga. Kaua e taka ki roto. Ko tā rātou tikanga ko "Kua hoha ahau ki te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga tawhiti. Tukua ahau kia tūhura i ngā raau taero me te moepuku i roto i te rangimārie." Kāore he mea e kiia ana he wā. Ina aroha koe ki tētahi, ka ngana koe ki te whakatutuki, ahakoa te aha. Ka WHAKATAU koe i te wā tika.

9. "Kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea taku wareware ki te muku i aku taupānga whakaipoipo"

Ki te kite koe i a Tinder, i a Bumble rānei i runga i te waea a tō hoa, kua mau koe i tētahi teka mā i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. I a koe e tunu ana i tā rātou keke tiihi tino pai, tera pea e tono ana rātou i ngā whakaahua tahanga o tētahi i runga ipurangi. Kaua e whakahawea ki te tinihanga ipurangi. Ko te hunga e uru ana ki ngā mahi taikaha ipurangi ka tino uru ki te rārangi o ngā ngā momo tinihanga.

Inaa, a ako I kitea i roto i ngā pakeke 183 i roto i tētahi hononga, neke atu i te 10% kua whakatū hononga piripono ipurangi, 8% kua pā ki te ipurangi, ā, 6% kua tūtaki kanohi ki te kanohi ki ō rātou hoa ipurangi. Neke atu i te haurua o te tauira i whakapono he kore pono te hononga ipurangi, ā, kua piki ake ngā tau ki te 71% mō te ipurangi me te 82% mō ngā hui kanohi ki te kanohi.

10. "He takakau ahau"

E rua marama te roa o te hononga o taku hoa a Pam ki tēnei tangata. He tino pono rāua, ā, kua tīmata tana aroha ki a ia. Engari i tētahi rā, ka huri katoa. I a ia i roto i te wharepaku, ka kitea e ia tētahi whakaahua o tana wahine me āna tamariki i roto i tana waea.

I waea mai ia ki ahau me te tangi, ā, ka mea mai, "Kua roa ia e teka ana ki ahau! Kāore au i te whakapono kua piri tahi māua ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia." I puta taua mahi i ngā marama kua pahure engari kei te raru tonu ia ki take whakawhirinaki ina tae ki ngā tāne. Koinei te hua o te teka i roto i te whanaungatanga.

Ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga matua o te hunga teka ko te whakatenatena i ō rātou hinengaro kei te tika tā rātou mahi. Hei tauira, "Kotahi noa iho taku mahi i tēnei" me "Mā te kī atu ki taku hoa ka nui ake te mamae o rātou, nō reira, kei te tiaki ahau i a rātou mā te teka ki a rātou" he tauira ēnei o ngā parenga hinengaro hei huna i ngā teka i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.

11. "Ehara tēnei i te hickey, he ngau namu tēnei"

Ahakoa te āhua rerekē o te tangi, kāore ētahi o ngā kaikōrero teka e whakaae ana ki ā rātou kōrero, ahakoa kua hopukina rātou. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te kī mai tō ngākau he mea kē te kī a rātou "Kei te mahi pō anō ahau i tēnei pō" me "Kaua e manukanuka, he hoa pai noa iho tāua", whakarongo mai.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te mōhio mēnā kei te teka tō hoa mō te tinihanga?

Waihoki, ki te mea kei tērā taha koe, ā, ko koe tonu te tangata e tinihanga ana i tō hoa, he pai ake te whakaae i te hē, kaua e mauheretia. Heoi anō, he pai ake te tangi o te "I teka ahau, engari i ata whakatikatika māua i ō māua whanaungatanga" i te "I teka ahau, ā, i pakaru taku whanaungatanga". E ai ki te rangahau, he nui ake te tūponotanga ka ora tonu tō kōrua whanaungatanga mēnā ka kōrero tonu kōrua mōna.

Te Pānga o te Kōrero teka ki te Hononga

Me aha koe ina teka tetahi ki a koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga? Hei tīmatanga, me whai tohutohu koe mō te kite i tētahi tangata teka. Anei ētahi tohu e whakaatu ana kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi tangata teka:

• Te rerekētanga o ngā whanonga me ngā rerekētanga o tā rātou kōrero
• Eiaha whai kawenga whaiaro
• Tere tonu te huri i ngā tūāhua ki a koe/ te tango atu i te aro mai i a rātou
• Tino ārai/ whawhai whakamuri/ pana whakamuri i ngā mea katoa
• Kāore e pai ki te tango i te iti rawa o te whakahe

Ā, me pēhea te whakangaro i ngā whanaungatanga e ēnei mea ngaro me ngā kōrero teka? Anei ētahi o ngā hua o te kōrero teka i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga:

• Ka whakangaro i te taumata o te whakawhirinaki me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi
• Te hara me te whakama mō te tangata e teka ana
• Te whakaiti i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana me te whanaungatanga ā-hinengaro
• Ko te tangata teka ka whakapaetia hei te mea 'whaiaro'
• Ko te tangata e tekahia ana, ka rite ia ki te 'kuware' mō te whakapono ki aua kōrero teka.
• Ka arahi tētahi teka ki tētahi atu, ā, ka waiho hei porowhita mutunga kore
• Kāore e whakawhirinakihia anō te tangata teka, ahakoa kua huri ia
• Ka ngana ngā hoa ki te rapu utu tetahi ki tetahi
• Te kino ki te hauora hinengaro/tinana mō ngā mea e rua

He aha te ngā hua o te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga? Hei ki rangahau, ko te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga ka arahi ki te ohorere, te riri, te pouri me te pouri. Ko ngā kōrero teka kino rawa atu i roto i te whanaungatanga ka mutu ka whakanui ake i te whakapae me te hiahia ki te rapu utu. Hei whakamutunga, e tohu ana te rangahau ka taea e tēnei "raruraru" te mahi hei wāhi hurihanga mō te whanaungatanga, ka arahi ki te 'whakangaromanga o te whanaungatanga' te 'mahi rānei i te whanaungatanga'.

Ko te whanaungatanga i hangaia i runga i te teka ka arahi atu ehara i te mea ko te mamae hinengaro anake engari ko te mamae tinana anō hoki. Ina hoki, rangahau e tohu ana ko te iti o te kōrero teka ka arahi ki te hauora pai ake. Hei tauira, i te wā i kōrerotia ai e ngā kaiuru i roto i te rōpū kore-kore teka e toru ngā kōrero teka mā iti iho i tā rātou i kōrero ai i ētahi atu wiki, he iti ake ngā amuamu hauora hinengaro (te āhua pōuri/te pouri) me te iti ake o ngā amuamu tinana (te mamae o ngā korokoro/te ānini), i kitea e ngā kairangahau.

Engari, ehara tēnei i te kī me kōrero koe ki tō hoa mō ngā kōrero katoa o tō oranga. Kia pēhea te nui o te teka e whakaaetia ana i roto i te whanaungatanga? He pai rawa te pupuri i ētahi mea māu ake. He rerekē rawa tēnei i ngā 'teka wareware'. Hei tauira, ko te kore whakahua i te karere a tō hoa o mua ki a koe he teka wareware. Engari ko te pupuri i te kōrero i waenganui i a kōrua ko tō hoa māu ake, kāore e kiia he teka.

Waihoki, ki te mea kei te pupuri tonu koe i ngā mea ngaro ki tō hoa, he pakeke ake te whakapuaki i aua mea. Nā te mea, kāore ngā kōrero teka e huna mō te wā roa. Hei tauira, me kī atu pēnei "Hei, i tūtaki ahau ki taku hoa o mua i tētahi atu rā, ā, i inu tahi māua. Kāore he mea i tupu i waenganui i a māua engari i tino hiahia ahau kia mārama." Kaua e kī pēnei "He nui rawa tō tauhohenga, koia ahau me huna ai i ngā mea i a koe". Ka kiia tēnei he kīanga whakakā hau.

Mena he tangata kōrero teka koe, ka taea e koe te rapu awhina ngaio. Waihoki, me aha koe ina kōrero teka tetahi ki a koe i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ko te whai hua mai i te rongoā hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki te huarahi tika ki mua. Mā te mōhio he teka tō whanaungatanga ka tino taumaha rawa. Tā tātou ngā kaitohutohu mai i te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mo koe. 

Hei whakamutunga, ko ngā kōrero teka kino rawa atu o tētahi whanaungatanga ka pā kino ki ngā tāngata e rua. Ka pāngia te whakaaro nui o te tangata teka nā te hara me te whakama e haere tahi ana me te teka. Ā, ko te tangata e tekahia ana ka whakama, ka tinihangatia. Nō reira, i te wā i karanga ai tētahi "E te tangata teka, e te tangata teka, e te tarau kei te mura", ki taku whakaaro ko te tikanga "E te tangata teka, e te tangata teka, e te ngākau kei te mura".

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Me aha koe ina takoto te tangata i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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