9 Ngā Painga Whakamiharo o te Kore e Mārena

Tērā pea ka hiahia koe ki tētahi marena kanapa me tētahi haerenga honi i Bahamas i runga i a Instagram. Engari he rerekē rawa te āhua o tō rātou oranga i te ao tūturu. Kaua e tukua te FOMO kia wareware koe ki ngā painga o te kore e marena.

Kāo, ehara mātou i te kī kia eke koe i te tereina ki te noho takakau, ki te noho takakau rānei. Kaua e hohoro te marena nā te pēhanga a te hapori. Ka taea e koe te noho takakau mō te roa e pai ana ki a koe, te noho ataahua rānei me tō hoa rangatira me te kore e herea te here. He maha ngā take e kore ai koe e marena. Mai i te karo i te taake ki te karo i ngā kawenga marena, te tiaki noa rānei i a koe mai i ngā whakapaunga o te marena nui. Ahakoa he aha ō take, koinei te take e mau tonu ai tō whakatau.

9 Ngā Painga Whakamiharo o te Kore e Mārena

E ai ki ngā whakatau tata, neke atu i te 35 miriona tāngata e takakau ana i te USA? Ko ēnei tāngata he 31% o te taupori pakeke katoa, heoi, 50% o ēnei tāngata e pai ana ki tō rātou takakau. E tohu ana tēnei kāore rātou e hiahia ana ki te whakaipoipo, he iti iho te hiahia ki te noho tahi. Haunga rātou, 17 miriona ngā hoa aroha e kore e pai ki te moe tahi. Kua toru te pikinga o te maha o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore i marenatia e noho tahi ana i roto i ngā tekau tau e rua kua pahure ake nei. Ahakoa he miharo pea ētahi ki ēnei tatauranga, ki ētahi atu he wāhanga nui o ō rātou oranga.

Anei ētahi take kāore pea te hikoi i te huarahi i te whakaaro pai.

1. Ngā painga o te noho takakau

Ki te kore koe e pai ki te whakaaro mō te whanaungatanga aroha, kei tawhiti rawa atu te marena i tō tirohanga. Ko te hunga e pāngia ana e te mamae, e te te whanaungatanga o mua i rahua kāore pea e hiahia ki te ruku ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Waihoki, he maha ngā tāngata kore-ira e pai ana ki te noho takakau. Ahakoa he aha te take, he mea whakaaro nui kia hoatu he wāhi me te wā ki a koe anō kia tipu ake ai, kia ora ai rānei i mua i te piri ki tētahi atu tangata. Ka whakaora hoki i a koe i ngā raruraru o te ao e puta mai ana i ngā whanaungatanga hou.

I ēnei rā, he tokomaha ake ngā Milenial e whiriwhiri ana kia noho takakau, kaua e taka ki roto i te mahanga marena. Nā te mea kei te tipu haere rātou ki te aro nui ki ngā whāinga, ā, kei te rapu i te angitu mahi nui atu i te marena. Engari i te akiaki i a koe ki te wehe atu i te whare, ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri i tō ake herekoretanga me te rapu i ētahi atu kaupapa matua.

2. Ngā painga pūtea o te kore e marena

Kia rukuhia te pāngarau. E kii ana nga rangahau he nui ake te utu mō te marena toharite i te $30,000? Ko te whakapaunga mō te rā kotahi ka arahi tika atu ki ngā utunga nama mutunga kore.

Ko te hunga e ngaro ana i te marena ka nui ake te penapena, ā, ka taea e rātou te haumi i tēnei moni mō ngā hua mō te wā roa. Haunga ngā utu nui o te rā kotahi, ka taea hoki e te kore marena te āwhina i tō āhuatanga nama. Mā te Ture Whai Wāhitanga Nama ōrite, ka taea e koe te tango nama me te kore he hoa. Hei tāpiri, ka taea e koe te āwhina ki te whakapai ake i tō kaute nama, i tō hoa rānei, me te kore e hiahia ki te marena i a rātou. Tāpirihia noa rātou hei kaiwhakamahi whai mana o tō kāri nama. Ko te wāhanga pūtea o te ao kāore e hiahiatia he kākahu mā, he oati rānei i runga i te aata.

Ki te hiahia koe ki te marena hei painga mō te mahere inihua hauora a tō hoa, kaua e kōrero. He maha ngā kamupene e tuku ana i tēnei ki ngā hoa noho. Ko te nuinga o te wā e hiahia ana rātou ki te taunakitanga o tō tūnga noho tahi mō ngā marama e 6 kua hipa, me te mahere kia noho tonu koe pērā mō ake tonu atu. Ko te mea nui, he maha ngā tāngata e aroha ana ki ā rātou herekore pūtea he nui. Mā te noho takakau, te noho mārena rānei, ka kore koe e herenga ki te whakawhitiwhiti pūkete putea me tō hoa. Ki te kore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero, ki te whakamārama rānei i te wāhi, te wā, me te pēhea e whakapau ai koe i tō moni, kati noa te mahi.

3. Ngā hua o te marena i te tau hē

He whaea kēkē, he whaea hoki tō tātou katoa i moe i mua i te 18 tau te pakeke, ā, i whānau ā rātou tamariki i te tīmatanga o ō rātou rua tekau tau. Ināianei, ka titiro whakararu mai rātou ki a koe, ka tawai mai ina kōrero koe mō te kore e moe. Ko te tau toharite mō te marena kei waenganui i te 25 me te 30 tau, ā, he tika rawa!

He tino pai, he nui hoki ngā painga o te kore e marena taitamariki. Ko ngā tau 20 te wā o tō ao e rapu ana koe i ngā huarahi hei whakatau i a koe anō. Me arotahi koe ki ō wawata, ki ō mea e pai ana ki a koe, ki ō mea e kore e pai ki a koe, ki tō mōhio ki te moepuku, me ō whāinga mahi. Waihoki, he wā tēnei e iti ana ngā kawenga, ā, he nui rawa ngā mea e taea te ngahau. Kāore koe i te herea ki te kura, ki te kāreti rānei, kāore hoki he herenga ki te kāinga, he rā kati rānei mō te haere ki te kāinga i te 10 i te pō. Koinei te wā tino pai ki te mahi kaha, ki te whakanui ake hoki i te pāti.

Ka taea e koe te ara ake, te moe, te kai, te haereere, te mahi i te tini o ngā mea ngā pō whakangahau a ngā kōtiro me te kore e whakama, me te hokohoko i runga i te hiahia o tō ngākau me te kore e whai kawenga ki tētahi. Mā te marena wawe rawa ka ngaro koe i ēnei wheako nui. Heoi anō, ka ngaro pea ō hoa tata ina noho tahi koe, inā koa i te tamarikitanga. Ka poto hoki te wā ki te tūhura i ō hiahia mō te taatai ​​me te whanaungatanga ina marena taitamariki koe. Mā te mōhio he pai ake ki a koe te here maha-hoa i te kotahi-wahine i muri i te marena ka raru pea. Ko te tikanga, kaua e hohoro te marena, engari me whai wā koe ki te mārama ki a koe anō me te hanga i tō tuakiri.

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4. Ngā pānga kino o te whakarere

Ahakoa te hiahia nui ki te pupuri i te moemoeā 'kotahi mano tau', 'kotahi tonu' rānei, kāore e taea. He rā mutunga tō te nuinga o ngā marena. Kāore anō kia mōhiotia e tātou. I mōhio koe, kia rite ki te rangahau, tata ki te 50% o ngā marena katoa ka mutu i te wehenga, i te wehenga rānei? Ka piki ake ngā tatauranga ki te 60% mēnā ko tāu marena tuarua tēnei. Ko te USA te tuaono o te ao mō ngā reiti wehenga. Ā, he nui ngā utu pūtea me ngā utu kare ā-roto mō ngā wehenga. Ko te utu toharite mō te wehenga he neke atu i te $15,000. Tērā pea ka kino ake mēnā me utu e koe te tautoko ā-ture ki tō hoa rangatira o mua.

Heoi, kāore e taea te aromatawai i ngā whara kare ā-roto hei uara kotahi. Ka pāngia te tangata e te mamae nui, te pōhēhē, me te te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga he maha tonu ngā wā. Ka taea e ia te whakanui ake i te tūponotanga o ngā hiahia whakamomori, te PTSD, me ētahi atu tohu hinengaro whakararuraru. Ka kino ake te āhuatanga ina uru ngā tamariki ki te whakarere. Ka pāngia rātou e te ahotea tāpiri ka pā kino ki ō rātou oranga tinana me te hinengaro. Heoi anō, ko te tautohetohe mō te tiaki tamariki, mō ngā utu tiaki tamariki rānei ka arahi atu ki te ahotea. Ahakoa he rite tonu te raruraru o ngā wehenga, ki te kore he nui ake, ā, he mokemoke hoki te noho takakau, he reinga tonu te whakarere. He pai te noho takakau me te karo i te wheako whakamataku o te whakarere.

5. Ka taea e koe te karo i ngā whānau hunaonga whakaari

Kia pono tātou, kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te kōrero ki a Aunty Betty i ia hararei. Mēnā rānei ka rongo tātou i ngā kōrero whakatoi a te hungawai wahine tino kaha. Ehara i te mea e pai ana ki te katoa. Ko te mahi tahi me ngā whānau whānui me ngā hungawai wahine e pukuriri ana, e pukuriri ana, ka pā kino ki te oranga hinengaro. He maha ngā wā ka mataku rātou i tō aroaro. Kāore rātou e whakaute i ō rohe, ā, ka kimi hapa rātou i roto i ō mahi katoa. He maha ngā wā, ko ēnei momo hungawai he hunga whakahaere, he hunga whakaiti, he hunga aro nui ki a rātou anō, ā, he maha ngā... ka whakakino ngā hungawai wahine i ngā marena he maha atu i tō whakaaro. Tērā pea kāore rātou e pai te noho tahi me tō whānau. Ehara i te mea ko te tina o te Thanksgiving anake te take e kore ai e taea e ā rātou mahi tauhohe rawa.

Ka taea e te paitini tonu te whakararuraru i te oranga harikoa o te hunga marena. Ka puta he taumahatanga koretake ki te tokorua. Ka tīmata rāua ki te whawhai me te kore mārama nā te awe o tō rāua whānau. Heoi anō, ko te hoa rangatira o te whānau kino te hunga e pāngia ana e te taumahatanga mai i ngā taha e rua. Me āta haere rāua i te wai me te kore e whakapataritari i tō rāua whānau, i tō rāua hoa rangatira rānei. Ko te āhuatanga pai rawa atu ina tino reka, ā, he pai ō hungawai, ka uaua pea. Tērā pea me tiaki e koe tō rāua hauora me ō rāua pūtea. Koia te take he tokomaha te hunga e whiriwhiri ana ki te karo i te raruraru o te hungawai, me te noho kore ahotea.

6. He whakatau wero

He tangata whakamā koe, he tangata tūmataiti rānei? Kāore koe e pai ki te tohatoha i tō wāhi whaiaro? He hauātanga tōu e whakararuraru ana i a koe ki te noho tahi me tētahi atu tangata? Ki te kore ō hiahia whaiaro e taupatupatu ki te ariā o te marena tuku iho, kātahi ka waiho. He rite tonu te nui o ngā patunga tapu me ngā whakarerekētanga e hiahiatia ana e te tokorua mō te oranga marena angitu. Nō reira, me tino hiahia koe, me tino harikoa hoki ki tēnei whakaaro i mua i te herea o te here.

He āhua motuhake tō ia tangata, he kōrero mō tōna oranga, me ōna whāinga. Hei tauira, mēnā he tamaiti tāu me tētahi hoa o mua, he tamaiti whāngai rānei tāu, he uaua ake te marena mōu i te mea he... kāore he tamariki i runga i te kōwhiringaKo tō kawenga tuatahi, ko te kawenga nui ki tāu tamaiti. Ko te tikanga o tēnei, he rite te hiranga o te hototahitanga o tāu tamaiti ki tāu hoa rangatira, ki tāu piripono ki a ia. Ki te kore tō hoa rangatira e aroha nui ki tāu tamaiti, kāore he tikanga o te marena i a ia.

He mutunga kore ngā painga o te kore marena ina whānau tāu tamaiti. Ka whakaora i a koe me tāu tamaiti i te raruraru o te urutau ki tētahi tangata hou i roto i te whare. Ka āwhina hoki i a koe ki te karo i ngā raruraru katoa mō tāu tamaiti e pā mai ana ki tō kōrua marena. Waihoki, ehara te marena i te mea māu mena ka whakarihariha koe ki te whakapau kaha, ā, e pai ake ana ki te noho i te oranga kore here ki tētahi atu tangata. He pai ake te tūhura i ngā huarahi kē atu i te tuku i te pēhanga a ngā hoa kia wikitoria i ō whakaaro.

7. Ngā painga tāke o te kore e marena

Mō te wā roa, kua roa ētahi tāngata e marena ana mō ngā take hē. Ko te whakaaro pohehe mō te penapena taake nui rawa atu tēnā – he whakaaro pohehe noa iho. I te hurihanga o ngā wā, o ngā whiwhinga moni, me ngā hoa mahi, kāore i te tino ataahua ngā tukunga taake pērā i mua. I ngā wā o mua, ko ngā wāhine te nuinga o te wā e noho ana ki te kāinga, ā, ko te tāne anake te kaiwhanau mō te whānau. Hei tāpiri, ahakoa te mahi a te wahine, he nui te rerekētanga i waenga i ā rāua whiwhinga moni. Nā te mea kei te huri te āhua o ēnei wā.

I te pikinga ake o te whiwhinga moni me te ōritetanga o te whiwhinga moni a te tokorua kua mārenatia, ka piki ake anō hoki te whiu tāke. He nui ake ngā tāke e utua ana e ngā tokorua i ngā tāne takakau ina:
– He nui te whiwhinga moni a ngā hoa tokorua
– He iti te whiwhinga moni a ngā hoa tokorua, engari kāore he tamariki.
– Ngā tāngata whiwhi moni takirua

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakakino a ngā take moni i tō whanaungatanga

8. Ngā pānga ki te oranga whānui

Ehara te marena i te moenga rōhi. He maha ngā raruraru me ngā uauatanga kei roto. Ka taea e te oranga marena taumaha te whakararuraru i te hinengaro me te whakararu i te hauora hinengaro. Ka tino piki te ahotea o te tokorua i a rāua e mahi ana i ngā mea e rua. ngā pakanga marena, ngā whawhai, ngā mahi tukino rānei. E ai ki ngā rangahau ka taea e tēnei koretake te whakakore i tō rātou pūnaha ārai mate me te whakapiki i ō rātou mōrearea mate. Inaa, ko te nui ake o ngā tautohetohe ka arahi ki te pouri nui ake, te manukanuka, me te oranga whaiaro iti iho.

Haunga ngā raruraru hauora nui, ka tukuna atu anō hoki e te tangata i a rātou anō ina marena rātou. Kāore e aro nui ana ki ā rātou ake mahi whakangahau, ki te whakapaipai, me te tiaki i a rātou anō. Kua kite pea koe i te wā e marena ana ō hoa, e hapu ana rānei, ka rerekē anō hoki ō rātou āhua. Whakaarohia he hua tēnei o ā rātou kawenga, o ā rātou whānau hunaonga rānei. Ahakoa te āhua, kua ngaro katoa ō tātou hoa i a rātou e noho tahi ana. E whakaae ana ngā rangahau ki tāu kitenga, ko te hunga kua marena ka iti ake te noho tahi me te noho tahi. Ka arahi tika tēnei ki te iti haere o te porowhita hoa.

9. Te ara kē atu hei noho tahi me tō hoa rangatira

Kāore te katoa e wehi ana i te herenga. Tērā pea ka tino mōhio koe kei te noho tahi koe me tētahi atu, engari kāore koe i te pai ki te kaupapa o te marena. Mēnā koinei te āhua mōu, he maha ngā kōwhiringa hei tūhura. He maha ngā painga o te kore e marena ture. Ka taea e kōrua te noho tahi, te noho hei hoa noho kāinga, me te pārekareka ki ngā painga katoa o tētahi tokorua kua marenatia – me te kore he here, he utu, he kawenga rānei o te marena. Mā tēnei hoki koe e kore ai e pāngia e te ahotea o te whakahaere i tō whānau, e te pēhanga rānei o te haputanga.

Ko tētahi atu kōwhiringa ko te noho tata ki te kāinga, kaua e noho i te whare kotahi. Mā tēnei, ka kore e pāngia koe e te ahotea o te tohatoha i ngā kawenga o te marena. Ka taea e kōrua te noho motuhake, te noho noa i a kōrua e noho tahi ana. Waihoki, he tokomaha ngā tāngata i roto i hononga tuwhera me ngā momo hiahia ā-ira tangata. Ka taea e ēnei tāne me ngā wāhine te whakatau kia noho tahi, me te tuku i te mana ki tā rātou hoa ki te whai wāhi atu ki te moepuku, ki te whai wāhi atu rānei ki ētahi atu. Ka taea e kōrua te whakatau he aha te mea e pai ana mō kōrua, me te kore e taka ki te paerewa o te marena.

He hē te marena mō tētahi take ehara i te aroha, i te haumaru rānei o te ngākau. Me tino mōhio koe ki te taha pūtea me te taha kare ā-roto kia whakamanahia tō whanaungatanga ki tētahi whakanuinga. Kaua e tukua koe kia tukinotia e ngā tumanakohanga a te hapori. Ka taea e koe te whakakore i ngā kōrero a tō whaea kia marena ai mā te whakamahi i ngā meka me ngā tatauranga kua whakahuatia ake nei. Arotakehia ō kaupapa matua, ā, whakatau whakaaro nui i mua i te peke atu i te pū!

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