7 Ngā Tohu Kua Hoha Koe ki te Noho Takakau, Me Ngā Mea Me Mahi E Koe

"Kua hoha ahau ki te noho takakau! I ētahi wā, ka whakaaro ahau kāore he tangata e pai ana mōku." I ētahi atu rā, ka pātai ahau, "He aha te take e hiahia ai tetahi ki te whakaipoipo i ahau?" Ka puta ake ēnei whakaaro nā te mea kāore au i te pai ki te whakarere i tōku hītori? Nā te mea rānei ka hinga tonu ahau ki te hunga kāore e taea te whakapā atu ki ahau?

Ehara i te mea ko au anake. E ai ki tētahi tatauranga o te tau 2017 mai i te Tari Tatauranga o Amerika, e 50.2% o ngā Amerikana he takakau. Ehara i te mea mamae te noho takakau, engari he mamae te noho mokemoke.

Nā, me aha koe ina takakau koe, e mokemoke ana hoki? Hei whakautu i tēnei pātai, kua tahuri mātou ki te tohunga hinengaro a Ridhi Golechha (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaunihera hauora tinana, hinengaro, me te kare ā-roto, kia whiwhi ai i ngā māramatanga.

Kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau? 7 Ngā Tohu

E kī ana a Ridhi , "I ētahi wā ka hae tātou ki ngā mea a ētahi atu. Ka puta te hae/ te mahanga whakatairite ina tae koe ki tētahi marena, ā, ka kite koe kua whakaipoipo/kua moe te katoa, ā, kāore he hoa rangatira."

"Ehara tēnei hae i te mea kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau, engari tera pea he tohu kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi mea nui ake i te ao. Ina kite koe i ētahi atu e whiwhi ana i tāu e hiahia ana, ka tīmata koe ki te whakaaro mehemea me whakaae koe ki te noho takakau ake ake." Anei ētahi tohu kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau me te mokemoke:

Pānui e pā ana: He aha ahau i takakau ai? 11 Ngā take e takakau tonu ai koe

1. Ka hiahia koe ki te ruaki i ngā marena

E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "Whakaarohia pēnei. Ki te haere tetahi ki tētahi hararei whakahirahira, ā, kua roa rawa koe e hiahia ana ki te haere, ka hae koe ina kite koe i ā rātou whakaahua Instagram. He rite tonu te marena ki te whakaaturanga o ō āwangawanga." Nō reira, ina ngenge koe i te noho takakau, ka mamae noa koe i ngā marena.

2. Kāore koe e pai ki te haere ki ngā huihuinga whānau

E mea ana a Ridhi, "Kāore koe e pai ki te haere ki ngā huihuinga ka pātai mai ō whanaunga mō tō āhua whanaungatanga. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau." Mā aua whanaunga hiahia koe e whakaaro kua harikoa ngā hoa pai katoa i roto i te marena inaianei, ā, ko tō mutunga ko te noho takakau mō tō oranga katoa. Kāore he take ki te kī, he hē rātou.

3. Ka karo koe i ngā huihuinga me ngā tāne me ngā wāhine

E kī ana a Ridhi, "Ina ngenge koe i te noho takakau i roto i ō tau 30 , ka karo koe i ngā huihuinga pēnei i ngā pāti, e tūtaki ai koe ki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine." Nā te mea kāore koe i te harikoa ki te noho takakau, ko te noho-tuatoru te mea whakamutunga i runga i tō rārangi. He pai ake ki a koe te mātaki Netflix i roto i ō pajama i te Rā o Valentine.

4. Kua whakaitihia e koe ō paerewa

"Kua hoha rawa ahau ki te noho hei tāne/wahine takakau," te tangi a koe. Kua hoha rawa koe ki te noho takakau, ā, ki tāu titiro he pai ake te noho tahi me tētahi atu i te kore hoa. Kua tae koe ki tētahi wā kāore koe e tatari ana mō te tangata tika e tutuki ai ngā whakaritenga katoa. Kua haehaetia e koe te rārangi o ngā ' kaiwawao i te whanaungatanga ' ā, kāore koe e māharahara ki te noho tahi, ahakoa kei roto i tōu ngākau e mōhio ana koe he tika kia pai ake te oranga aroha.

5. Ka waea atu koe ki ō hoa o mua

Ahakoa ngā tohutohu a ō hoa mō te whakaipoipo i te ao, i te pō, kāore e taea e koe te ārai i te hiahia ki te waea atu ki tō hoa o mua. Kei te mau tonu ōu kare ā-roto ki a rātou. Tērā rānei ka whakapā atu koe ki a rātou nā te mea kāore koe i te harikoa ki te noho takakau. Kia mōhio koe ka pahemo atu tēnei mokemoke.  

6. Ka whakaohooho te pāpāho pāpori i a koe

E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "He maha ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe e whakamahara ana i a koe e pouri ana koe i te noho takakau. Ko te pāpāho pāpori tētahi o aua mea." Kei te noho mokemoke koe, nō reira ka whakatuwhera koe i a Instagram. He mea whakamīharo, ko te PDA i reira e whakamahara ana i a koe ki te wahine takakau tonu koe.

Pānui e Pā Ana: He aha te Take e Whakaitihia ai te Noho Takakau? Te Whakamārama i te Hinengaro i Muri i te Whakawa

7. He nui rawa tō hononga ki te tangata

E kī ana a Ridhi, "Ki te mea kei te kaha koe ki te whakaipoipo, ā, he maha rawa ngā moe pō kotahi/ngā hononga hoa, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau, ā, me hiahia noa koe ki tētahi mea hei whakangawari i a koe." Kei te kaha koe ki te whakamahi i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo , ā, kei te āwangawanga ō whanaunga mō te huarahi e whiriwhiri ana koe kia kore ai e noho mokemoke.

9 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi, Hei Mahara hoki Ina Ngenge Koe i te Noho Takakau, i te Noho Mokemoke hoki

I kitea i roto i tētahi rangahau ko te hunga e whakaaro ana he takakau 'ā-tūao' rātou, he iti ake te tūponotanga ki te kōrero mō te mokemoke aroha . Heoi, ko te hunga i whakaaro he 'kore ā-tūao' te noho kore hoa, he nui ake te tūponotanga ki te noho mokemoke ā-hinengaro.

Engari me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whakatutuki i te āhua o te hinengaro e whakaaro ana koe he takakau 'ā-tūao' koe? Anei ētahi mea hei mahi māu, hei maumahara hoki mēnā kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau:

1. Whakawhanuihia ō tirohanga

E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "Ka taea e koe te whakamahi i te noho takakau hei hanga i a koe hei tangata e hiahia ana koe kia rite. He nui te wā kei a koe, me i kore ka riro i tētahi atu tangata, i tōna whānau rānei. Nā te mea ko te wā tō hoa i tēnei wā, whakamahia marietia mō te tipu ake o te tangata."

"Akohia he mahi whakangahau hou, tākaro hākinakina, tīmata pakihi. Whakauruhia ō ringaringa ki ngā mea katoa, kātahi ka kite i tāu e pai ai." Nō reira, ki te roa rawa tō noho takakau , ka taea e koe te pupuri i a koe anō mā roto i ēnei huarahi:

• Akohia he reo hou
• Tīmata te tuhi i tētahi rātaka
• Whakauru ki tētahi akomanga/whiwhi tohu hou
• Hono atu ki ngā rōpū ipurangi (pērā i ngā karapu pukapuka)
• Tuotahi i te whakaruru kararehe

2. Kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau? Tīmata ki te kī 'ĀE'

He herenga nui pea te piri ki ngā tikanga tawhito i ētahi wā. Nō reira, puta atu i tō rohe whakamarie ka tīmata ki te mahi i ngā mea kāore koe e mahi i te nuinga o te wā. Tērā pea he tūhura i ngā hararei mutunga wiki. He mahi mōrearea hou rānei. Ko te mea nui, kia tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou.

E kī ana a Ridhi, "Ki te mea kei te akiaki tō whānau i a koe kia kimi i tētahi, me kōrero pono ki a rātou kāore anō koe kia rite. Ā, ki te mea kua rite koe, he aha ai? Haere ki te tūtaki ki te iwi." 

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te tūtaki ki te tangata me te kore he taupānga whakaipoipo

"Ahakoa kei te tūtaki koe ki a rātou mā Bumble, Tinder, whānau rānei, he aha te kino? He nui ake te puna kaukau māu. Ki te hiahia koe ki te whai hononga, he aha e kore ai e whakamahi i ō whiringa katoa?"

3. Whakatipu i tō hauora me tō oranga tinana

E kī ana a Ridhi, "E taea ana te noho takakau engari kaua e mokemoke . Kimihia ngā huarahi hei mahi i ngā mahi whai hua, harikoa hoki i roto i tō 'wā mōku'. Me haere pea koe ki te whakangungu mō te marathon me te tuku i ētahi endorphins."

"Ki te kore koe e harikoa ki te noho takakau, ngana ki te haumi ki ngā mahi hei whakahari i a koe (kāore koe e hiahia ki ētahi atu)." Nō reira, moe wawe. Whakaarohia kia mau tonu ai tō hauora hinengaro. Hangaia ētahi momo kai hei whakakapi. Inuhia he nui te wai. 

4. Ehara tō wehi i te 'meka'

E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "He mea noa, he tika hoki te wehi o te 'noho takakau i tō oranga katoa'. Ka taea e tēnei wehi te puta i roto i ngā āhuatanga maha. Hei tā tātou, ki te kore koe e whiwhi moni nui, e whakaaro ana koe kāore koe e angitu." 

"Ko te huarahi hei whakatau i tēnei wehi mō te noho mokemoke ake tonu atu ko te whakamutu i tō whakaaro. Kia maumahara koe he 'wehi' noa iho tēnei, ehara i te 'meka'. Kia maumahara tonu koe ki tēnā." Ko te whanaungatanga aroha tētahi o ngā whanaungatanga maha o tō ao. Ahakoa kāore he hoa rangatira āu, ehara i te mea kei te mokemoke koe i te ao.

I roto i tētahi uiuinga i te tau 2003 ki a Oprah Winfrey, i kī a Salma Hayek, "Ka taea e koe te whai hononga ki te Atua. Ki te taiao. Ki ngā kurī. Ki a koe anō. Āe, ka taea hoki e koe te whai hononga ki tētahi tāne, engari ki te mea he mea whakarihariha, he pai ake te whai hononga ki ō putiputi." 

5. Kia maumahara koe he matomato ake te tarutaru i tērā taha

I a au e noho tahi ana me tētahi hoa wahine, ko taku moemoeā anake ko te noho takakau tonu. Engari ināianei kua takakau ahau, ko taku moemoeā anake ko te awhiawhi mai a tētahi. Nā te pāme marena i runga i te Instagram ka tino kakariki te tarutaru i tērā taha. 

Pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu e Takakau Ana Koe i roto i te Hononga

Nā, me aha koe ina takakau koe, e mokemoke ana hoki? Kati te whakarite i tō oranga ki ētahi atu. Kei ia tangata tōna ake wā. Ehara te noho tahi me tētahi i te otinga mō ō raruraru katoa. Ahakoa te hunga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ka mokemoke, tika? Inaa, kāore he kore o ngā rangahau mō te kaha o te whakamomori o ngā marena.

6. Whakatipuhia ō whanaungatanga o nāianei, ā, whakawhanaunga ki te hunga takakau

Kua kitea e ngā rangahau ahakoa he kino ake te hauora hinengaro o ngā pakeke takakau i ō rātou hoa kei roto i ngā hononga aroha, ko te nui o te tautoko pāpori i whai wāhi nui ki te whakamāmā i tēnei.

Nō reira, ki te mea kei te pōuri koe i te noho takakau, whakamahia tēnei wā hei poipoi i ō hoa aroha . E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau he pai ake te whakawhirinaki ki ngā tāngata rerekē mō ngā mea rerekē, kaua ki te tangata kotahi i te nuinga o te wā.

Hei whakanui ake i tō tautoko pāpori, me whakawhanaunga atu ki te hunga takakau (kaua ko te hunga tāne me te wahine anake) nā te mea e mōhio ana rātou ki tōu pūtake.

7. Ako atu mōu ake mēnā kua hoha koe ki te noho takakau

Ki te hoha koe ki te noho takakau me te mokemoke, he whakamaumahara pea tēnei kia mōhio koe ki a koe anō. Ka taea e ō whanaungatanga o mua te tuku akoranga nui ki a koe mō ō ake whakapono whakawhāiti, ō tauira whanonga, me te momo piripono. Ka taea e koe te rapu āwhina ngaio hei whakaora i ō patunga. Ki te rapu tautoko koe, he pāwhiri noa iho ā mātou kaitohutohu mai i te rōpū Bonobology .

E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "He pai te whakaora hinengaro mō te awhi i te oranga takakau mā te ako i a koe me pēhea te noho pai i roto i tō ake kamupene, me pēhea te aukati i ō mataku katoa, me pēhea te noho pai i roto i ngā āhuatanga e whakaohooho ana i a koe (pēnei i ngā marena), ā, he āwhina anō hoki ki te tūhura i a koe anō."

8. Whakamahia te aroha ki a koe ano

Mō te noho takakau, i kī a Taylor Swift, "Kāore te noho mokemoke i rite ki te noho mokemoke. He pai ki ahau te mahi i ngā mea e whakanui ana i te noho mokemoke. Ka hokona e au he rama kakara reka, ka whakaitihia ngā rama, ka hanga he rārangi waiata o ngā waiata ngawari. Ki te kore koe e mahi me te mea kua pāngia koe e te mate urutā ina noho mokemoke koe i te pō Paraire, ā, ka kite noa koe i tēnei hei whai wāhi ki te ngahau ko koe anake, ehara i te rā kino."

Nō reira, ki te mea kei te raru koe i te noho takakau, anei ētahi mahi aroha ki a koe anō ka taea e koe te whakamahi hei oranga pai mōu:

• Waihangahia he rārangi o ngā mea e whakawhetai ana koe i ia rā
• Tīmata ki te kī 'kāo' i te mahi, i tō whānau rānei, hei pupuri i tō kaha.
• Whakarērea ngā whanaungatanga kino, whakararuraru, me te taha kotahi
• Kōrerotia ngā mea pai ki a koe anō (ngā whakaū pai)

9. Arotakehia ō pūtea

Me aha koe ina ngenge koe i te noho takakau? Whakawāteahia he wā ki te whakaaro i ō moni. Nā te mea kāore koe e tohatoha ana i ngā whakapaunga ki tētahi atu, ka taea e koe te penapena moni me te haumi ki ngā wāhi tika.

Waihoki, i te mea he nui tō wā waatea, me rapu tonu i tētahi mahi taha/mahi motuhake hei whiwhi moni tāpiri. Mā tēnei ka taea e koe te hoko i te pounamu waina utu nui e pai ana koe. 

Hei whakamutunga, ki te hoha koe ki te noho takakau, he tohutohu tā te kaiwaiata o Old Town Road, a Montero Lamar Hill, māu. E mea ana ia, "Kei te wāhi pai rawa atu ahau i roto i te ao. Nā te wehenga atu i taku hoa o mua i āwhina ahau ki te whakatuwhera i ōku ake whakaaro. I taea e au te tuhi kōrero mō tōku ao, ā, i whakaurua ki roto i aku waiata. I te mutunga, e hiahia ana ahau ki te noho. E hiahia ana ahau ki te ngahau, e hiahia ana ahau ki te whakaoho i te raruraru i ētahi wā."

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Te Whakaipoipo me te Teití | He aha te rerekētanga o te Whakaipoipo i te Teití

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E 11 ngā huarahi e whakaarohia ana e te tohunga hei whakatau i te whakakorenga mai i tētahi tāne

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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