27 Ngā Tohu Reo Tinana e Aroha Ana Te Tāne Ki A Koe

I ētahi wā, ka tino pōhēhē te whakaaro mēnā kei te aroha te tāne ki a koe, he atawhai noa iho rānei. Ina koa, mēnā kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea te wetewete i ngā tohu aroha a te tāne. E kī ana tō puku kei te hiahia ia ki a koe, engari kāore ia e kōrero ana mō tēnā. Ka aha koe i muri iho?

I mua i tō tīmatanga ki te aro atu ki te mate o te aroha, he pai te whai māia kei te ōrite ngā kare ā-roto e rua. Nā, me pēhea te mahi i tēnā? E 27 ngā huarahi hei pānui i te reo tinana o te tāne e aroha puku ana ki a koe, e tautokona ana e te pūtaiao. Engari i mua i tēnā, me mārama tātou ki te tikanga o ēnei tohu.

He aha te tikanga o ngā tohu aroha mai i te tāne?

Ina aroha te tāne, tera pea ka uaua ki a ia te kohikohi i ōna whakaaro me te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te mārama ki ōna kare ā-roto, kia aro ki ana tohu aroha, ki ana tohu kore-kupu rānei. Ka taea te wetewete i ēnei tohu ā-tinana o te kukume mā te aro ki:

• Nga whakapuaki kanohi
• Whakaaetanga kanohi
• Te whanonga tinana
• Tone o te reo
• Nga tohu ringa

He mana tō ēnei tohu ki te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto, he pai ake i āna kupu.

27 Ngā Tohu Reo Tinana e Aroha Ana Te Tāne Ki A Koe

E ai ki te tauira whakawhitiwhiti kōrero a Albert Mehrabian, 7-38-55 , e 7% o te tikanga o ō tātou kare ā-roto me ā tātou whanonga ka whakapuakina mā roto i ngā kupu e whakamahia ana e tātou i roto i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ā-waha, 38% o te tikanga ka whakapuakina mā roto i te reo o tō tātou reo, ā, ko te toenga 55% mā roto i te reo tinana e whakamahia ana e tātou, inā koa ko ngā āhua o ō tātou kanohi.

Nō reira, ehara i te mea uaua te kī atu mēnā kei te aroha te tāne ki a koe, ka whakaatu tōna reo tinana i ōna kare ā-roto i mua noa atu i tana whakapuakitanga i ana kupu. Me ruku tika tātou ki ngā tohu reo tinana e 27 hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama mēnā kua tino aroha taua tāne ki a koe.

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1. Ka titiro roa ia ki ngā kanohi 

"Ko ngā kanohi, e Chico, kāore e teka." Kua tūpono pea koe ki tēnei kōrero rongonui mai i te kiriata Amerikana o te tau 1983, arā, ko Scarface, i te iti rawa i te kotahi wā i roto i tō oranga. Nā, he aha te mea e whakaatuhia ana e te titiro kanohi i waenganui i te tokorua mō te aroha me te aroha? Ki te maha rawa ngā titiro kanohi o te tangata ki a koe, ki te kore rānei e tangohia ōna kanohi i a koe, tera pea kei te aroha ia ki a koe . Ko tētahi atu tohu hei tirotiro māu ko te titiro whakamuri atu ki a ia, ka tahuri whakarere atu ia, me te kore e hiahia kia mau.

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2. Ka meinga koe e ia kia hikoi i te taha haumaru o te ara hikoi, kia matara atu i te waka

E kōrero mai ana a Jane, he kairīpoata maheni, ki a mātou, "I mōhio ahau kei te aroha taku hoa tāne ki ahau i tana tīmatanga ki te hikoi i te taha o waho o te ara hikoi, e tata ana ki te rori. Ka pēnei ia i ia wā ka tūtaki māua. I mārama ahau he tino aroha ia ki ahau, ā, māku e mōhio? E toru marama i muri mai, ka tono ia kia moe tāne māua!" Ki te ngana tetahi tāne ki te pupuri i a koe ki te taha haumaru, me te huri taha ina anga atu koe ki te huarahi, he tohu tēnā kei te tiaki ia i a koe, ā, ko taua tiaki pea i ahu mai i ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe.

3. Ngā pā tākaro me ngā pā māmā

Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio mēnā kei te pai tētahi tāne ki a koe, ngana ki tēnei mahi māmā. Tīmatahia he pā ngāwari, he pā mārie rānei, me te pā mārie atu ki tōna ringa. Mātakitaki me pēhea tana whakautu. Ki te pā atu ia ki a koe, he rongo pai tā mātou – kua aroha ia ki a koe. Ko te pā ngāwari tētahi o ngā tohu e pai ana ia ki a koe.

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4. Ka ngana ia ki te noho tata ki a koe

Kei te mahara koe ki ngā hui i te Kamupene Pepa o Dunder Mifflin i Te Tari ? I kitea tonutia e Jim he nohoanga i te taha o Pam i mua i tā rāua tīmatanga ki te whakaipoipo. Ko te tikanga, koinei te reo tinana o ngā tāne e aroha ana , ā, e mōhio ana tātou kua roa a Jim e aroha ana ki a ia. Ahakoa i te ao tūturu, ko tētahi o ngā tohu e pai ana ia ki a koe ko tana noho tata ki a koe. Hei tauira, ki te noho tahi kōrua me tētahi rōpū hoa, ka wehe atu pea ia i tōna nohoanga ka whiriwhiri i te mea e tata ana ki a koe.

5. E whakaata ana ia i a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu matua o te aroha o te tāne ki a koe ko tana whakaata i a koe. Ka tīmata ia ki te whai i tō reo tinana me ō āhua kanohi i ētahi wā. 

• Ki te ataata koe, ka puta he ataata ki tōna mata
• Ki te noho koe me ō waewae e whiti ana, ka pērā anō ia me te kore e mōhio. 

Ko ēnei tohu aroha ngaro e whakaatu ana kei te aro atu ia ki a koe, ā, kei te kaha hoki tana whai wāhi atu ki te kōrero.

6. Ka piko atu ia ki a koe i a koe e kōrero ana

Ko te piko atu ki a koe tētahi o ngā tohu e whakaatuhia ana e te tāne ina hiahia ana ia ki a koe. Engari he mea nui anō hoki te wāhi i konei. Mena kei roto koe i tētahi wharekai haruru me te puoro nui e purei ana i muri, he mea nui ake pea te piko atu i te kōwhiringa. Nō reira, āhea te tohu o te kukume? Ina piko mai ia ahakoa kāore e hiahiatia.

Kei roto koe i tētahi rūma marino, e kōrero ana ki tētahi tāne? Ki te aroha ia ki a koe , ka kite koe ka anga mai ia ki a koe ahakoa e tino rongo pai ana ia i a koe. He tohu tēnei e hiahia ana ia kia tata atu ki a koe.

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7. Ka ara ake ōna tukemata ina kite i a koe

Ki te hiahia te tāne ki a koe , ka ara ake ōna tukemata ina kite ia i a koe. Ka harikoa ia, ā, kāore e taea e ia te makona i a koe. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tinana tino whakamere e whakaatu ana kei te aroha te tāne ki a koe, ā, mā mātou e whakamārama atu te take.

I roto i te raupapa The Human Face , e whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro me te kaihanga tuhinga a Dane Archer, "Ki te ngana tātou ki te huna i ō tātou kare ā-roto, ka mahi tātou me tō tātou mata o raro. Kāore i te tino mana whakahaere te mata o runga." Kua whakamārama anō a Archer ko ngā kanohi, ngā tukemata, me te rae "he pono ake i te mata o raro, e whakamahia ana e tātou hei whakaatu i te menemene māhaki me ētahi atu mea".

8. E mōhio ana ia ki ō hiahia 

Ki te maumahara te tāne ki ō rohe, ā, ki te whakaute hoki, he tohu matomato tēnā. E mōhio ana ia ki tāu e hiahia ana, ā, he mea nui tēnā mō tētahi whanaungatanga hauora . Ka taea e koe te wheako i tēnei i ētahi wā. Hei tauira, ki te kī atu koe ki a ia ko ngā awhi mahana te mea tino pai hei whakaoho i ahau, ka tino awhi ia i a koe mēnā he kino tō rā, he pouri rānei mō tētahi take.

9. Kāore ia i piri ki taua waea

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea ahau e mōhio ai mēnā he tino aroha ia ki ahau? Ina whakarērea e te tangata tana waea ina noho tahi kōrua, ā, ka kōrero ia me te kore e tirotiro i ana whakamōhiotanga i ētahi wā, me whakaaro he tohu pai tēnei. E whakaute ana ia i tō wā, e whakanui ana i a koe, ā, e hiahia ana kia whakarongo pai.

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10. He mahana, he piripono hoki ōna awhi 

I roto i tētahi rangahau i whakahaerehia e ngā kairangahau i te Whare Wānanga o Goldsmiths, i kitea ko ngā awhi roa ka whakanui ake i te harikoa o te tangata, ki te whakaritea ki ngā awhi poto noa iho.

Ki te hiahia koe ki te mārama mēnā kei te aroha te tāne ki a koe, kia tūpato ki te āhua o tana awhi i a koe. He auau, he onge rānei? He roa, he awhi tere rānei? Ka menemene ia i muri i tana awhi i a koe, kāore rānei i te aro? Ki te roa, he whakamanawa, he mahana hoki ana awhi, he hononga piripono tōna ki a koe.

11. He mākū ōna ringa 

Ki te werawera ngā ringaringa o te tāne, ki te hē rānei āna kupu i a ia e noho tahi ana me koe, tera pea nā te mea kei te mataku ia i a koe. Tērā pea kei te aroha ia ki a koe, ā, kei te mataku ki te whaki i ōna kare ā-roto pono.

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12. Ka tirohia e ia tōna whakaata i roto i te whakaata 

Ko tētahi atu tohu mai i te reo tinana o tētahi tāne e aroha puku ana ki a koe ko ngā whakaata, ko ngā matapihi karāhe rānei. Ina noho tahi kōrua, ka pā atu kōrua i tētahi matapihi, i tētahi whakaata rānei, ka titiro taua tāne ki tōna whakaata, ka tirotiro i tōna āhua kia tino mōhio ai kei te pai ia i a koe.

13. Ka haere tahi ia me koe

Whakaarohia ngā kiriata aroha tino pai rawa atu kua mātakihia e koe, ā, ki taku whakaaro he haerenga roa ataahua kei roto i te pūrākau. I roto i te kiriata Before Sunset , ka tūtaki anō a Celine rāua ko Jesse i Parī, i tūtaki rāua i ngā tau e iwa ki muri i Vienna. Ka kōrerohia tā rāua pūrākau mā roto i tētahi kōrero roa i a rāua e hikoi tahi ana.

Hei tāpiri atu, ina hikoi tahi ana tētahi tāne me koe, tirohia mēnā ka whakarerekē ia i tōna tere kia rite ki tōu, ka pupuri rānei i tō ringa nā te mea koinei te reo tinana o ngā tāne e aroha ana. Ko te tikanga o te pupuri ringa ki tētahi tāne he hohonu ake i tāu e hiahia ana ki te whakaaro. Ki tā rātou he tīmatanga tēnei o tētahi mea mutunga kore.

14. Kei te whakarite tonu ia i ōna kākahu

Ina aroha te tangata ki a koe, ka hiahia ia ki te whakaatu i a ia anō i roto i ngā kākahu ataahua, ma, kia miharo ai koe ki a ia. Tērā pea ia 

• Tirohia te pātene o tōna hāte
• Whakatikatika i ōna makawe
• Whakatikahia te pona o tana tai
• Whakatikatika rānei i ōna tōkena

15. Ka wehea e ia ōna ngutu ina titiro mai ia ki a koe

E māwhewhe ana ōna ngutu ina titiro kanohi koe ki a ia? Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kore-waha e whakaatu ana kei te harikoa ia ki te kite i a koe, ā, tera pea he mea whakahihiri kei roto i tōna hinengaro. E whakaatu ana i te tumanako me te hiahia i roto i tōna ngākau ki te whakatata atu ki a koe, ki te pā atu ki a koe, me te kihi i a koe.

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16. Ka menemene ia, ka kata tahi me koe

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu aroha tino kitea mai i te tāne. Mā te titiro kotahi ki tōna mata ka mōhio koe kei te tino harikoa ia i a koe. Ka kitea e tōna mata te kanapa motuhake o te harikoa, ā, ka kata ia me te ngākau nui i tō aroaro.

17. Ka anga tonu ia ki a koe

Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ngā tohu e whaia ana koe e tētahi tāne , tirohia mēnā ka aro nui mai ia ki a koe. Ka titiro mai ia ki a koe, ka pōkaikaha tonu hei tohu kei te aro mai ia, ā, ka anga atu tōna tinana me ōna waewae ki a koe. Ehara ēnei tohu i te mea āta whakaarohia engari he tohu huna e pai ana tētahi tāne ki a koe.

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18. Ka nekeneke ia ina tata koe

Ko te takaro me te whanoke he tohu aroha ngaro. Hei tauira, ka takaro pea ia ki te kakau witi i roto i tana inu i a ia e titiro ana ki a koe, ki te papa rānei i runga i te tēpu. Ka whanoke pea ia i a ia e kōrero ana. I ahu mai tēnei i ōna kare ā-roto kāore i te whakapuakina me ōna kare ā-roto ngoikore i a koe.

19. Ka whānui ake ana tauira

Kua mōhio pea koe i nāianei ki te hiranga o te titiro kanohi i waenganui i te tokorua. Mēnā he aroha tō te tāne ki a koe, he hiahia ā-ira rānei ki a koe, ka whānui ake ōna kamo. Koinei te āhua o te aroha : mā te noho tahi me koe ka puta he pupū ake o ngā homoni harikoa pērā i te dopamine me te oxytocin i roto i tōna pūnaha, ka whānui ake ngā kamo. A te wā e kore ai ia e tahuri atu i a koe, ngana ki te titiro whakamuri me te takaro, kia mōhio ai koe ki te aha e tupu ana.

20. Ka kitea ōna ringaringa 

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea ahau e mōhio ai mēnā e aroha ana ia ki ahau ? Whakapono mai ki ahau ina kī atu ahau i tēnei, ko ngā ringa te mea e kī ana! Ki te kore te tāne e huna i ōna ringa ki roto i tana pōke, e pupuri rānei i ōna ringa ki muri i tōna tuara, he tohu pai tēnā e pai ana ia ki tō aroaro, ā, e aroha ana ia ki tō kaha.

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21. Kua marino tana manawa

E kōrero mai ana a Ruby, he tohunga waitohu kei te tīmatanga o ōna tau toru tekau, mō tana wheako whakaipoipo ki a tātou, "Ina kōrero tātou mō te reo tinana o te tāne e aroha puku ana ki a koe, ka wareware tātou ki te reo o tōna manawa. Ki te pai ia, ki te marino hoki i a koe, ka puhoi tana manawa."

Ahakoa e aroha ana ia ki a koe, ā, ka tangohia e koe tōna manawa, ka marino tana manawa ina kōrero roa kōrua, ina mātakitaki noa rānei i a Netflix.

22. Ka kuhu ia i ō makawe ki muri i tō taringa

Tērā pea ka kuhu te tāne i ō makawe ki muri i tō taringa i a koe e kōrero ana, e mahi ana rānei i tētahi mahi, ā, ka taka ō makawe ki tō mata. Koinei ētahi o ngā nekehanga a te tāne ina aroha ia ki a koe. Heoi, ka mahia e ia tēnei mēnā ka pai koe ki a ia, ā, ka kitea he reka. Ki te mea ka kore koe e pai ki te pā atu ki a ia , ā, ka mahi ia i aua nekehanga ahakoa e mōhio ana koe ki ō hiahia, he tohu kino tēnā. E kore rawa te tāne e aroha ana ki a koe e whiti i taua rārangi.

23. He pai ki a ia te pupuri i tō ringa 

Ko te hiahia nui ki te hono atu ki a kōrua mā te pupuri ringa tētahi o ngā tohu ā-tinana e aroha ana te tāne ki a koe. Tērā pea ka pā noa atu ia ki tō nikau, ka pēhi i tōna nikau ki tō nikau mō tētahi wā. Tērā pea ka honoa ōna maihao, ka hikoi rānei i te huarahi me te pupuri ringa, ā, mā tēnei mahi ngāwari engari he aroha ka meinga kōrua kia rite ki te kapua iwa.

24. Ka āta whakahaere ia i āu mea

Ko tētahi atu tohu nui o te reo tinana o te tāne e aroha ana. Ka whiua e ia tō pēke ringa hei hanga wāhi i runga i te tūru, ka ata waiho rānei ki runga i te tūru? Ko tana manaaki i a ia e whakahaere ana i ngā mea nui ki a koe e whakaatu ana i ōna kare ā-roto mōu. 

25. Ka huri tōna reo hei reo manaaki

Ina kōrero ia ki a koe, he marino, he reka hoki tōna reo. E rongo ana koe he pono, he ngoikore hoki ia ki a koe. Mā te āhua o tana kōrero ki a koe ka whakaaro koe he motuhake koe , ā, ka menemene koe i te roanga o te rā. He rite tonu ki te tangata? Nō reira, kua aroha te tangata e whakaarohia ana e koe i a koe e pānui ana i tēnei.

26. Ko tō whakamarie te mea nui ki a ia i ngā wāhi tūmatanui

Ina haere tahi kōrua, tirohia tana whanonga i roto i ngā wāhi kīkī, i ngā wāhi pāpori rānei. Ka whakarite ia kia pai tō noho, pērā i te tuku nohoanga ki a koe, te kimi rānei i tētahi wāhi marino mēnā ka kite ia kei te taumaha koe? Ka ngana mārire te tāne e aroha ana ki te whakatairanga i tō oranga, ahakoa i roto i ngā āhuatanga ka taea e ia te aro ki a ia anō.

27. Ka piko tōna mahunga ina whakarongo ana ki a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu ngaro o te tāne e aroha ana ko te piko paku o tōna mahunga i a ia e whakarongo ana ki a koe e kōrero ana. Mā tēnei tohu e whakaatu kei te tino uru atu ia ki te kōrero, ā, e whakanui ana i tāu e kōrero nei. He huarahi huna tēnei hei whakaatu i te hiahia me te aroha. Kia aro ki tōna āhua—ki te ngawari ōna kanohi, ā, ki te piko tōna mahunga me te ataata mahana, he tohu kaha tēnā kei te mau ia i a koe.

Thoughts Final

Nā te mea kua mōhio koe ki te pānui i te reo tinana o te tāne e aroha puku ana ki a koe, ka taea e koe te whakaaro ki te taahiraa e whai ake nei. Mena he kaha ngā tohu aroha mai i tōna taha, ā, e kore e taea e koe te mutu te menemene i a koe e pānui ana i tēnei tuhinga, kua tae pea te wā ki te aro atu ki te pepeke aroha i roto i te rūma.

13 Ngā Take e Arohia ai te Wahine Kua Mārenatia ki te Tāne Rangatahi

11 Ngā Tohu o te Āhua Aukume i waenganui i te Tokorua

21 Ngā Huānga o te Whakawhanake i te Whakaute i roto i te Hononga

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.