Tērā ētahi pātai kua rapua e te tangata ngā whakautu mai anō i ngā wā o mua. Āe, kāore i angitu, nā te mea kāore he whakamārama arorau, whai take, pūtaiao rānei mō ētahi o aua pātai. Ko tētahi pātai e kore e taea te whakautu koia tēnei – he aha te āhua o te aroha?
Kua kotahi te wā i roto i te ao o te tangata kua pāngia e te aroha. Ko ētahi kua tino pāngia e te aroha. Ahakoa te tangata tino kore aroha, te tangata tino noa rānei, kua pāngia e te aroha i tētahi wā, ahakoa te nui o tana ngana ki te whakakahore, ki te huna rānei i taua aroha.
Engari he aha te take e uaua ai ki te nuinga o te tangata te whakaahua i te kare o te aroha? He aha rawa te aroha? Nō hea tēnei pūrerehua iti nei, ā, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te aroha koe? Ā, he pumau tonu te aroha, he manawa hou noa iho rānei? Kia whakautua ō pātai katoa.
He aha te ahua o te aroha?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Kua ngana ngā kaitito, ngā kaituhi, ngā kaituhi aroha, me ngā kaipūtaiao katoa ki te whakaahua i te kare o te aroha i roto i ā rātou ake huarahi. Ahakoa e rapu ana ēnei tohunga auaha i te makutu kāore e taea te huna me ngā kare ā-roto katoa kei muri i te aroha, e rapu ana ngā kaipūtaiao me ngā kairangahau i ngā tukunga matū me ngā huringa o te tinana me te hinengaro, ā, i muri mai ka arahi ki ngā huringa nui o te whanonga me te wairua.
Heoi, ko te mea rerekē, ahakoa tō whakamārama, tō whakaaro rānei, he rerekē te wheako o te aroha mō ia tangata. Ae, he kēmu o ngā matū roro engari he kare ā-roto 'whaiaro' anō hoki, he mea motuhake ki a koe anake. Ā, koinei pea te makutu o tēnei kare ā-roto tino taketake o te tangata!
He maha ngā taha o te aroha. Ko te hiahia, te kukume, te piripono, te mahana, te whakahoahoa, he wāhanga katoa ēnei o te aroha – ahakoa ko tō aroha tuatahi, ko tō aroha tekau rānei! Mai i te aroha taiohi ki te kimi anō i te aroha i muri i te wehenga , he mea ahurei, ā, ka ohorere pea koe.
Ko te mea pai ake, tera pea ka kitea e koe ēnei āhuatanga katoa i roto i tō hononga ki te tangata kotahi i ngā taumata rerekē. Ki te kitea e koe, ko te aroha te mea e ārahi ana i a koe ki te rapunga whakamutunga o ngā mea katoa - ko tō hoa wairua. Heoi, ka tīmata katoa mā te mārama pono ki te āhua o te aroha.
21 Ngā Mea Hei Whakaahua I Te Kare Ā-roto O Te Aroha
Kei roto hoki i te aroha te makutu o te taenga mai ki tētahi whakaahuatanga tika mōna. Tērā pea kāore he whakatau mō te āhua o te aroha tūturu, engari ka taea e tātou te whakarārangi i ngā kare ā-roto ka pā ki a koe ina whakaohokia ōu ngākau e tētahi.
Kei te waiata tō ngākau? Kei te māmā ake tō wairua? Kei te piki haere te hihiri i roto i ō hikoi ahakoa kei te hikoi koe ki tō wāhi mahi hoha i ia ata? Nā te mea, ki te pono tēnei, tera pea kei te aroha koe. Kei te whakaaro koe he aha te āhua o te aroha i roto i te marena, me pēhea rānei te mōhio mēnā kei te aroha pono koe? Kia ruku hohonu tātou, kia kōrerohia te āhua o tēnei mea e kōrerohia ana e te katoa:
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1. He wāhi nui tō te hiahia engari ehara i te mea koinā anake
Ko te hiahia nui , ko te kukume tinana rānei, te wāhanga tuatahi pea o te aroha. Ko tō kukume te mea e ārahi ana i a koe ki te hanga hononga, ki te noho tahi me ia, ā, i roto i te wā, ka whakaarohia he heke mai.
Ka tīmata te hiahia i te haerenga takitahi, engari ka honoa mai ētahi atu mea – te manaaki, te aroha me te āwangawanga, hei tauira noa iho ēnei. Nō reira, ki te mea ko te hiahia anake kei roto i a koe, kaua e ngakaukore, engari kia tere te whakakore i ō kare ā-roto. Tērā pea he mea kei te puta mai!
2. He mea takitahi te aroha
Nō reira, ka whakaahua tonu tō hoa pai i te kare o te aroha he rite ki te ekenga tere me te harikoa, te harikoa me te kore e taea te matapae. Engari, kāore koe e rongo i taua momo kare ā-roto i te tīmatanga o te whakaipoipo, engari, ka rongo koe i te tino marino.
Āe, me kī atu mātou kāore tetahi o kōrua i te hē. Ko te ture matua hei mārama ki te āhua o te aroha, kaua e whai i tētahi ture! E ai ki tā mātou kōrero, he rerekē te tukanga o te aroha i ia tangata, ā, he rerekē ngā mahi a ngā pūnaha io o ia tangata ki a ia. Nāu anake te aroha pono, kia maumahara, kaua e whakataurite.
3. Kei roto ia i ō whakaaro
Ko te nuinga o ō whakaaro ka anga atu ki ngā mea nui me ngā tāngata e whai tikanga ana ki a koe – ahakoa kino, ahakoa pai. Ki te kite koe kei te nui haere tonu ō whakaaro mōna, ki te mea ka haria tō hinengaro e ētahi nekehanga, ētahi wāhi, tae, kupu rānei ki aua mea, he tika te kī kei te aroha koe.
Ina aroha koe, ka nui tō whakaaro ki te tangata, ā, kei roto hoki i ō whakaaro tōna mata. Ko te mea porangi ake, mēnā ka tīmata rātou ki te puta mai i roto i ō moemoeā! Ko te tikanga kua iritihia e rātou te kuaha ki tō hinengaro huna, ā, kei roto tonu i tō hinengaro, ahakoa kāore.
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4. Te panonitanga o te reo tinana
Kaua e ngana ki te whakaahua i te kare o te aroha, engari me pātai atu ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a koe me pēhea rātou e kite ai i a koe i roto i te rohe whakaipoipo! I te nuinga o te wā ka kitea koe e tō reo tinana. Ka tīmata wawe koe ki te takaro ki ō kanohi me te kore e mōhio, ka piki ake rānei tō manawa, ā, i muri i ngā meneti e rua, ka whero tō mata?
Ka whānui ake ō kamo ina kōrero koe mō rātou? Ka ataata noa iho rānei tō mata ina pātaihia koe mō tō oranga aroha? Ko te ataahua o te aroha he uaua, kāore rānei e taea, te huna i ēnei tohu.
5. He maha ngā kare ā-roto o te aroha
Hei whakautu i te āhua o te aroha, whakaarohia he maru e taupoki ana i ngā kare ā-roto maha. Kāore i te tika te whakaahua i te aroha hei kare ā-roto kotahi nā te mea ka taea e ia te whakararu i a koe ki ngā kare ā-roto maha.
Ka taea e koe te wheako i ngā kare ā-roto maha i te wā kotahi, ā, ka hanumi katoa, kāore tetahi e kaha ana ki tetahi.
Tērā pea he harikoa, he ngākau nui, he harikoa me te rangimārie – he ranunga o ngā kare ā-roto e hono katoa ana ki te kare o te aroha. Tērā pea ētahi kare ā-roto kino pērā i te hae, te kore māia, te whai rawa, me ērā atu. Mena he iti noa iho, ka taea te kī he hauora engari me tūpato kei te huri tēnei momo aroha hei raruraru.
6. He mahi tā ngā matū
Ae, he pūtaiao anō hoki te aroha. Ehara i te mea kei roto i tō mahunga ngā mea katoa. Taria, tera pea kei roto! E ai ki ngā kōrero a ngā kaipūtaiao, mā te aroha ka tukuna ngā homoni harikoa pērā i te dopamine, te serotonin, me ētahi atu. Koia te take ka whiwhi koe i ētahi painga hauora whakamiharo ina kihi koe.
Ko te arotahi ki te tangata kotahi anake, te moemoeā mōna tae noa ki te warewaretanga o ētahi atu katoa, he pānga tika tēnei o te mahi a te dopamine – arā, te āhua o te aroha e whakaahuahia ana e tātou.
7. Ka awe tō hoa aroha i a koe
Ehara i te mea nāu anake te whiriwhiri, engari ko te hunga e arohaina ana e koe te nuinga o te wā ka awe i a koe. Ina tino hiahia koe ki tētahi, ka hiahia koe kia noho ko ia te tangata e hiahia ana rātou kia noho koe. Tērā pea ka pai, ka kino rānei tēnei i runga i te tangata takitahi. Engari ki te kite koe kei te huri koe kia uru ki tētahi tauira, kia mōhio koe kei te aroha pea koe.
Ina kīia mai 'He tino pai ki ahau ina mau koe i te kōwhai', ā, ko tāu noa iho he mau i tō kākahu kōwhai kanapa i mua i a ia, tera pea he tika te kī atu kei te riro pea koe i te aroha o te taiohi, i te aroha whānui rānei. Mā te aroha tātou e hiahia kia rerekē, kia pai ake – koinei te mea tino whakamiharo mōna.
8. Ka taea e ia te whakahaere i a koe
Ahakoa e whakawhirinaki ana ki te kaha o ngā kare ā-roto, ka taea e te aroha te whakapau kaha. Ki te kore e utua, ki te taha kotahi rānei , ka taea e te hiahia me te ngākau nui te taumaha rawa, ā, ka taea e koe te huripokitia.
I te wā kino rawa atu, ka tata pea ki te āwangawanga nui. Tērā pea ka ngaro koe i a koe anō i te ngana ki te toa i te tangata kē, he hē tēnā. He pai ētahi whakarerekētanga engari kia maumahara kia noho ko koe tonu ahakoa kei te riri koe ki tētahi atu.
9. Ka nui ake tō aroha
He aha te āhua o te aroha i roto i te marena? Ko te hunga e whakaahua ana i te kare o te aroha e kī ana, mā te aroha ka tino aroha koe, ka titiro hoki ki te ao me te kanohi tairongo.
Ki te mea kei te pāngia tō hoa e te mamae, e te wā uaua rānei, ka aroha koe ki a ia, ā, ka tū atu pea koe ki te taha o ētahi atu. He kare ā-roto pono, kāore i tātarihia, ā-taiao hoki ēnei ki tētahi e hiahia ana koe ki te tautoko. Koinei pea te mea e kiia ana he aroha mutunga kore.
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10. Ka riro koe hei tangata whai mana
Kāore e taea te whakapuaki i te aroha aroha, he rerekē i ētahi atu momo aroha. Ina tino aroha koe, ka hiahia noa koe ki te whakaharikoa i te moepuku me te motuhake o te moepuku, ā, ki te kore e puta, ka huri ngā kare ā-roto ki te whai mana me te hae.
Waihoki, ina tino hohonu rawa te aroha, ka noho te pono hei mea nui rawa atu. Ko te whakawhirinaki tētahi o ngā mea tino kaha o te rārangi o te āhua o te aroha.
11. Ka roa ake te aroha
He maha ngā tāngata e whakapono ana ehara te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi i te aroha. Tērā pea he pono tēnā mō ētahi wā. Nō reira, he aha te āhua o te aroha? Ko te wā tēnei e huihui ai te kare ā-roto o te kukume, te mana pupuri, te manaaki me ētahi atu, kia roa ai te wā.
Ahakoa te ngaro o te hiahia i muri i te pō kotahi, kāore te aroha e memeha. Tērā pea ka whanake haere i runga i te āhua o te wā, engari kāore e mutu. Ehara i te mea ka taea e koe te wareware me te whakarērea i muri i te wehenga o te hoa, ehara hoki i te mea ka taea e koe te whakakore noa atu mēnā ka mutu te kite i a rātou i ia rā, i ia rā. Ko te mea nui o te aroha, ka noho tonu.
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12. Ka taea e koe te noho ko koe anō
He mea whakamīharo, ko te āhua o te aroha he rūpahu i te tīmatanga. Nā te mea, i a kōrua e ngana ana ki te miharo tetahi ki tetahi, he maha ngā wā ka huna kōrua i te āhua o te tangata, ka ngana ki te noho hei mea ehara i a kōrua.
Kia pā mai te aroha pono , kia hohonu ake hoki te whanaungatanga, kātahi anō ka kitea ō ngoikoretanga, ō ngoikoretanga, tae noa ki te taha kāore i te tino pai. Ko te noho ko koe tonu te whakautu nui ki te āhua o te aroha.
13. Ka ngaro rātou i a koe e ngaro ana
E mōhio ana koe he aroha tēnei ina whakaaro koe ki a rātou i te wā kāore rātou i reira. Ā, kātahi ka rite te ora ki te mea kua oti i a rātou. Ka ngaro nui koe i a rātou ina tawhiti atu rātou i a koe. Ehara i te mea ko tō rātou aroaro anake, engari ko te āhua hoki o ō rātou kare ā-roto ki a koe, koinei te mea e tino ngaro ana i a koe mō rātou.
Ki te mea kei roto koe i te mano, engari e noho mokemoke ana koe, ka rongo koe i tō rātou ngaro ina ngaro atu rātou, ā, e mōhio ana koe ko tō rātou aroaro anake ka taea te hanga i tētahi wā motuhake… mā ēnei wheako ka whakarapopototia te kare o te aroha.
14. Tō rātou harikoa mēnā ko tō kaupapa matua
Tērā pea ka aro atu koe ki tētahi tāne/wahine, tērā pea ka pai koe ki te noho tahi me rātou, āe… tērā pea ka ngaro rātou i a koe! Engari ko te wā anake e aroha ana koe ka waiho rātou hei kaupapa matua māu. Ka hiahia koe kia pai ake tō hoa mā te tautoko i a rātou me te whakaatu kei te taha tonu koe i a rātou.
Ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te whakatakoto i tō rātou oranga ki runga ake i tōu ake, te whakarite wā mō rātou i a koe e pukumahi ana, te whai wāhi atu ki ngā mea nui ki a rātou, me te whakatairanga i tō rātou harikoa i tōu ake. Ahakoa ko te tikanga o tēnā ko te kawe noa i tētahi peihana hupa ki a rātou i a rātou e mate ana, me mahi koe i ngā mea katoa hei whakaatu i tō aroha ki a rātou.
15. E hiahia ana koe ki te tipu tahi
Ina whakaahuahia te kare o te aroha, he mea nui ētahi kupu. Ko te kupu "tāua" tonu, kaua ko "au", "tāua tokorua" kaua ko "au me au". Ko te harikoa o te tipu tahi te ahua o te aroha ki te nuinga o te tangata.
E ōrite ana ā kōrua whāinga, ā, he huarahi kotahi tā kōrua e hiahia ana ki te haere – he haerenga e hiahia ana kōrua ki te haere tahi. Ā, ka mōhio koe he aroha tēnei ina mōhio koe kāore e taea e kōrua te haere i taua ara me te kore e pupuri i te ringa o te tangata e tino arohaina ana e koe.
16. He kaha te hononga
Ka oti i a koe tētahi rerenga kōrero i tīmata ai rātou? Ka waea atu rātou ki a koe i te wā tonu e whakaaro ana koe ki te waea atu ki a rātou? Ka mōhio ohorere mai rātou ina kore koe e pai ki tētahi pāti, ā, ka tere mai ki te whakaora i a koe, ki te whakaatu i te wā pai ki a koe?
Ko te mea tino porangi mō te aroha, inā koa te hinengaro aroha o te taiohi, ko te kaha o te kare ā-roto ka whakamanahia. Ka mārama ake kōrua ki ngā hiahia, ngā wawata, tae atu ki ngā nekehanga a tetahi, a tetahi, ā, ka rite ngā mea katoa ki te wāhi tika, me te mea he wāhanga panga.
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17. Kāore koe e māharahara ki ngā mea kino
Kāore he tangata tino tika, engari mā te aroha koe e wareware ai ki ngā ngoikoretanga o tō hoa aroha, nā te mea ka aro noa koe ki ngā mea pai. Kāore koe e titiro ki ngā ngoikoretanga o te whanaungatanga , e whakamahi rānei i aua ngoikoretanga hei whakahē i tō aroha.
Ki ōu kanohi, kāore e taea e rātou te hē (ahakoa he rerekē ngā kōrero!), nā te mea kei te pirangi koe ki te whakaaro ko wai te tangata e arohaina ana e koe. Engari, anei tētahi whakatūpato – he mea pai te noho i roto i te aroha pono engari kaua e matapo, kaua hoki e pōhēhē!
18. He mamae ia whawhai
He maha ngā wā e whawhai ana ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, engari ina tino mamae rawa te whawhai ki tō hoa, he rite tonu te mamae ki te aroha. Ka werohia tō ngākau e ia kupu kino e whakapuakina ana e tō hoa, ā, ka pōuri koe. Nō reira, āe, ki te pātai koe he aha te āhua o te aroha i roto i te marena, i ētahi wā ka rite ki te maha o ngā tautohetohe.
Engari he pai te whawhai mena ka kihi kōrua, ka houhia te rongo. Ko te mea nui ko tō hiahia kia whakatikahia te raruraru. Kei te hiahia koe kia tere te whakatikatika, ā, tera pea ka whakarērea tō whakapehapeha ki te toro atu ki te manga oriwa me te whakatau i te pakanga.
19. Ka nui ake tō hihiri
Ina kīia, ka mahi te tangata i ngā mahi porangi i roto i te aroha, ko te tikanga kei te hiahia rātou ki te whakamātau i ngā mea kāore pea i mahia e rātou i mua. Ko tētahi huarahi tēnā hei whakaahua i te kare o te aroha!
Ahakoa he aha ngā āhuatanga o tēnei – mai i ngā mahi ā-tinana ki ngā tūponotanga kare ā-roto – engari ka pai koe ki te whakamātau nā te mea kei te kī mai tō hoa rangatira. He haerenga porangi te aroha i waenganui i a koe.
20. Ko te mōhio ko wai tāu e hiahia ana
Mā te noho tahi me te tangata tika ka tino oti koe, ā, kāore koe e whakaaro ki te noho tahi me tētahi atu. Ahakoa te tāne tino ātaahua, te wahine tino ātaahua rānei, kei te titiro mai pea ki a koe, kāore koe e māharahara, e pōhēhē rānei.
Nā tō hononga porangi ki tō hoa aroha ka kore koe e aro ki ngā aroha o ētahi atu. He aha atu te huarahi pai ake hei whakaahua i te kare o te aroha?
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21. Ka hari koe
Hei whakamutunga, koinei anake te mea nui. Tērā pea he uaua ki a koe te whakaahua i te kare o te aroha, kei te whakaaro tonu rānei koe he aha te ahua o te aroha, engari kāore he whakautu kotahi ki tēnei pātai engari ko te mea ka hari koe, ahakoa te momo aroha . E hiahia ana koe ki te waiata, ki te kanikani, me te whakapau i tō wā katoa ki a rātou.
He harikoa kei roto i tō ngākau, he māmā te noho, ā, he mea whakamiharo katoa ēnei. Ko taua take anake he nui hei whai i te ara o te aroha pono.
I roto i te poto, he kaha te aroha, he whai tikanga, he ngākau nui, ā, ka rerekē tō āhua. Ka tāpirihia he tae ki tō koiora, ka hoatu he huarahi kē atu. Ahakoa te whakapae a te hunga ruarua i ngā matū, ko te kare ā-roto kāore e taea te kōrero, kāore e taea te whakaahua, ko koe anake e mōhio ana ko te horopeta o te makutu e kore e kitea e tika ana.
FAQs
Ina tīmata koe ki te ngaro i te tangata i te wā kāore ia i reira, ka kite koe i a koe anō e whakaaro nui ana ki a ia, ina nui ake ana kaupapa matua i āu, koinei ngā tohu o te aroha pono.
He tino noa te aroha i te kitenga tuatahi. Engari kei te tangata takitahi te tikanga. He maha ngā āhuatanga e whai wāhi ana ki te kukume i a koe ki te aroha, tae atu ki te whakahoahoa ( ka huri hei hoa aroha ), te hononga, te kukume, te manaaki me te āhua o te whakaaro o te tangata ki a koe.
Ka taea e koe te kite mēnā ka huri tō reo tinana, mēnā kei te whakaaro tonu koe ki tō hoa aroha , mēnā kei te ngaro koe i a ia i te wā kāore ia i reira, mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te huri i tō mahinga o ia rā, i ō hiahia rānei kia rite ki ā rātou me ētahi atu mea.
Ki te tāne, mā te aroha ia e hiahia ki te tiaki i tana wahine. He āhua noa iho tēnei mō ngā tāne kia rite ki te 'toa', ā, ko tētahi o ngā mea tuatahi ka kitea e rātou ina aroha ana ko te noho tahi tonu me te wahine, te whakarite i tōna harikoa me te manaaki i a ia.
Ina aroha te wahine, ka māmā, ka harikoa, ka ngākau nui hoki. Kāore ia e māharahara ki te tuku i te mana whakahaere ki te tāne, engari ka huri pea ia i a ia anō kia ātaahua ake ki tana hoa aroha, kia whakanuia hoki te harikoa o te tāne i runga i te hari o ētahi atu.
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
