15 Ngā Tohu Āwangawanga e Inoi Ana Koe mō te Aroha

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ko koe anake te tangata e ngana ana ki te whai i tētahi whanaungatanga, kia tūpato ki ngā tohu e kī ana kei te tangohia koe hei mea noa iho. Tērā pea he tohu kei te tono aroha koe. Ehara i te mea he te hiahia ki te aroha me te aro; he hē tā tātou katoa. Engari ina huri te taurite ki te ngakaukore, ka tīmata ngā mea he. I ētahi wā, ka tino kaha rawa te hiahia kia arohaina, kia whakanuia hoki, ā, ka tīmata tātou ki te tinihanga i a tātou anō.

Ko te raruraru, kāore tātou e mahi i tēnei mea i runga i te whakaaro, engari ka puta noa i te kore mōhio. Engari, ki te mōhio tātou ki ā tātou tauira, ka taea te whakahoki mai i te taurite. I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka tirohia e tātou ētahi tauira matua e whakaatu ana i ngā tohu kei te tono aroha koe, ahakoa e mōhio ana koe, e kore rānei e mōhio.

15 Ngā Tohu Āwangawanga e Inoi Ana Koe mō te Aroha

He nui te awe o ō tātou tauira ki ngā wheako o te wā e tipu ake ana. Hei tauira, ko tō tātou whanaungatanga ki ō tātou kaitiaki matua te mea nui hei whakatau i te āhua o tā tātou manaaki me te tumanako kia manaakitia tātou e te tangata. He tino tūponotanga kāore koe i whiwhi i te aro me te whakamana i hiahiatia e koe, ā, inaianei kei te titiro koe ki te whakakī i taua āputa i roto i ō whanaungatanga katoa.

Ka tirohia e mātou ētahi tauira noa hei whakamōhio i a koe ki ēnei, kia pai ake ai āu whakatau mō ngā rā kei te heke mai. Ki te mea kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi e ahua rite ana ō whakaaro, mā tēnei tuhinga koe e āwhina ki te aro atu ki te take.

1. Kei te wātea tonu koe

Kei te kite tonu koe i a koe e oma haere ana i te taha o tō hoa? Pērā i te kī a te atua, "Ko tō hiahia taku whakahau." Ahakoa he hiahia kare ā-roto, he hiahia tinana, he hiahia pūtea rānei i ētahi wā, ka waea mai rātou, ā, kei reira koe. He mea akiaki.

Nā te mea kei a koe te wehi ā-roto kei whakarērea koe e te tangata. Mā te wātea, ka ngana koe ki te waihanga uara ki roto i tō rātou ao māu ake. Ka nui rawa tō whakapau kaha. Ko te mutunga iho, ka tīmata rātou te tango noa i a koeNō reira, ka kaha ake tāu ngana, ā, ka haere tonu te huringa kino.

2. Kei te mau tonu te whakaaro kāore koe i te pai

"He aha ahau ka inoi tonu ai mō te aroha?" ka pātai pea koe. Ki tō whakaaro he pai rawa atu tō hoa mōu, ā, me whakapau kaha koe kia kite pono rātou i a koe. Ka taea hoki te kī ko tēnei whanonga he mate tinihanga. Ka waiho tonu rātou i mua i a koe kia aroha tonu ai rātou ki a koe. E ai ki te rangahau – Te Arotake i te Āhuatanga Tinihanga e Pā Ana ki te Taumata Whakaaro Nui – ko te hunga he iti te whakaaro ki a rātou anō ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka pāngia e te mate tinihanga me te kore whakapono ki a rātou anō.

Ki te mea kei te rapu tonu koe i ngā huarahi hei whakamanawareka i a rātou, ko tētahi o ngā tohu tēnei kei te inoi koe kia arohaina rātou. Ahakoa ngā mahi katoa, kāore koe e kite i te aroha e whakahokia mai ana i te ara e pai ana ki a koe, tika? Me te mea kei te akiaki koe i tētahi whanaungatanga. Kia tūpato ki tēnei tauira nā te mea kei te tinihanga pea koe i a koe anō mā te kī he aroha tō mahi.

3. Ka takahia e koe ō ake rohe

Ki te mea ka wareware koe ki ō rohe whaiaro, kāore rānei e whakaae ki aua rohe, tera pea tētahi o ngā tohu o te aroha taha kotahi. Ka karangatia koe mō tēnā ina takahi koe i ngā rohe o tō hoa engari kāore he whakaute ki ō rohe.

Whakaarohia he rā porangi tōu i te mahi, ā, kua ngenge rawa koe, kua porangi hoki. Ka karanga atu tō hoa ki a koe kia haere ki te hokohoko. Ka aha koe? Ki te mea ko tō urupare ā-ringa ko te whakaae, he tohu mārama tēnei kāore koe e whakaute ana i ō ake rohe.

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4. Kua ngaro koe i roto i te whanaungatanga

He puna nui te harikoa mō te katoa i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora. Engari he kōrero anō te mea kua tino tautuhia koe e taua whanaungatanga. Mēnā ko te nuinga o āu whakatau e ahu mai ana i tō hoa rangatira, me te kore e aro ki āu ake whiringa, kua ngaro pea koe i roto i te whanaungatanga.

Me mārama koe ehara te whanaungatanga i te mea e tautuhi ana i a koe, engari ko te ritenga kē. He wāhanga noa iho tēnei o tō oranga me ētahi atu kaupapa matua. Ki te mea kei te whakararu koe i ētahi atu kaupapa matua hei whakamanawareka i tō hoa, kua hohonu rawa tōu hē.

5. Kāore koe i te māia i ngā wā katoa

Kei te awangawanga tonu koe mō te ngaronga o te hunga e arohaina ana e koe. Ko tēnei wehi ka meinga koe kia pōuri mō tō hoa rangatira anō hoki. Kei te ngana tonu koe ki te noho tata ki a rātou, ki te mōhio rānei kei hea rātou. Mēnā koinei tō āhua, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui kei te inoi koe mō te aroha.

Ahakoa ko te wehi me te aroha ngā kare ā-roto matua e rua o roto i tō tātou whānuitanga kare ā-roto, he hononga whakamere tō rāua. Ko te kore o te aroha ka akiaki i a koe ki te kimi i te aroha, ā, ina kitea e koe, ka mataku koe kei ngaro. Kia maumahara tonu, ko te hunga e tika ana kia noho tonu ka noho tonu, ā, ko te hunga e tika ana kia wehe atu ka wehe atu, ahakoa te kaha o tō ngana.

6. Ka ngana koe ki te pupuri i a rātou i roto i te whanaungatanga me te nui rawa o te aroha

He mea nui kia whakaatu koe i te aroha ki tō hoa. Engari me taurite, tika? Ki te kite koe i tō hoa e oho ana i ō nekehanga aroha, me aro atu koe. Ka ngana koe ki te awhi i a rātou, ka pana atu rātou i a koe. Ka mea koe e aroha ana koe ki a rātou, engari kāore rātou e aro mai ki te aroha e tika ana. Kua pā ki a koe? Me te mea kei te akiaki koe i a rātou kia whai hononga.

Tērā pea ka kite rātou i tō nui rawa o te aroha hei tohu kei te te tono kia arohiaHe mea nui kia kite koe i tua atu i tō wehi kei ngaro rātou, kia mārama hoki ki te āhua o tō rātou hiahia kia arohaina. Ko reira anake ka taea ai e koe te whakapā atu ki a rātou.

7. He maha ngā wā ka nui ō mihi ki a rātou, engari kāore koe i te tino whakaaro

Kāore i te rongonui te whakaaro, ki te mea kei roto koe i te aroha, me mihi tonu koe ki tō hoa aroha. He rite tonu ki te tinihanga hei whakawai i tētahi. Engari, ki te mea kua tīmata tō hoa ki te whakahawea ki ngā kupu whakamoemiti, me mārama kei te nui rawa tō mahi.

E whakaaro ana koe mā te whakaatu i te nui o tō maioha ki a rātou ka aukati i a rātou kei wehe atu. Engari ko te raruraru, ina kī mai tetahi he mea nui te mihi ki a koe i roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore rātou e kī atu me whai tikanga anō hoki koe ki ō kupu. Ki te kite koe kei te kōrero koe i ngā mea pai kāore koe i te whai tikanga, kua tae ki te wā kia kite koe i ngā tohu kei te inoi koe mō te aroha.

8. Kei a rātou te whiu, ā, e whakaaro ana koe kei a rātou koe

He kēmu tākaro mana te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea pai, me tohatoha ōrite te mana, engari kei te noho tātou i tētahi ao tino pai? Ki te whakaaro koe kāore koe i te kaha, ā, ka whakarongo tō hoa ki ngā waea katoa, tera pea kua tukua e koe kia riro i a ia te mana whakahaere. E ai ki tētahi rangahau i roto i te Te Pukapuka o ngā Hononga Hapori me te Whaiaro, ko te kare ā-roto o te mana me te kare o te āheinga ki te mahi noa, he pānga nui ki te kounga o te whanaungatanga.

Ina tukua e koe tō wehi kei ngaro tō hoa rangatira kia whakahaere, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu nui kei te inoi koe mō te aroha. Nā te hiahia nui ki te aroha kua pōuriuri ō whakaaro, ā, kua ārahi i a koe ki te ngohengohe ki tō hoa rangatira. Kia mōhio koe ki tēnei tauira, ka taea e koe te whakahoki mai i tō mana i roto i te whanaungatanga, te kimi rānei i tētahi hei whakawhitiwhiti kōrero māu.

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9. Māu e tīmata ngā kōrero me ngā mahere katoa

Mai i ngā karere kuputuhi o te ata ki te tiki atu i a rātou mō ngā wā katoa e noho tahi ana koe, ko koe te tangata e mahi ana i ngā mea katoa? Kāore he kupu mai i a rātou kia tīmata rā anō koe i tētahi kōrero. Ki tō whakaaro he tika tēnei ki a koe? Kua tinihangatia rānei koe e koe kia whakaaro kei te pukumahi rātou? Nā te aroha rānei ō mahi tonu, nā te mea rānei kei te whakaaro koe he mea tika kia pērā?

Mena kei te awangawanga koe mō ēnei momo pātai, he tohu pea tēnei kei te tono koe kia aro mai tō hoa. Me mārama koe he mahi utu te whanaungatanga. Mena kei te mahi koe i ngā mahi katoa, he tohu pea tēnei mō te aroha taha kotahi.

10. Tukua rātou kia mawhiti i te tukino i a koe

Ka kata koe, ka mahi tinihanga rānei, ā, ka waiho hei take mō te pakanga o te ao, engari ki te huri te āhua, ka horomia e koe te whakama. Ka taea hoki e rātou te whakama i a koe i te aroaro o te marea. He āhua mōhio tēnei? Ki te mea āe, he aha koe i tuku ai kia tupu?

Kia tūpato ki ēnei tohu kei te inoi koe mō te aroha. Kei roto koe i ngā atarangi o tō te kore pumau o te whanaungatanga ā, e whakaaro ana koe kāore e taea e koe te whakapataritari i tō hoa. Ā, e mōhio ana rātou, e kore rānei e mōhio, ka whakamahia tō wehi.

11. Ka karo koe i ngā pakanga, ā, ka whakapāha tonu koe

He whakamātautau pai ngā pakanga mō te whanaungatanga. Ina puta ake ngā whakahē, ā, ka kaha te riri, ko te huarahi e whakatere ai te tokorua i tēnei haerenga kare ā-roto te mea e whakatau ana i te kaha o ō rāua whanaungatanga. Ki te whakaatu ō tauira he rere noa iho, kāore he whawhai, me mataku koe.

Kei te kaha ake tō wehi i tō whakaaro me tō kaha ki te tū pakari i a koe e mōhio ana kei a koe te tika ki te pera. Me mārama koe kāore te karo i ngā pakanga me te whakapāha e aukati i a rātou ki te wehe. Ka whakaiti noa koe i a koe anō ina inoi koe mō te aroha me te manaaki.

12. Kei te whakaaro koe ko koe anake te tangata e ngana ana i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga

Kua whakaaro koe i tētahi wā ko ō mahi anake te take e ora ai tō whanaungatanga? Ā, mehemea ka mutu tō ngana? Kei te mataku koe kei kore he whanaungatanga hei whakaora mēnā ka mutu tō ngana? Kāore koe i te whakaaro he hē te nui ake o tō whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga i tō hoa rangatira?

Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino nui kei te inoi koe mō te aroha. E mōhio ana koe kāore tō hoa e mahi i te mea e tika ana mēnā kāore koe e mahi. Ko tāu e pātai atu ai ki a koe anō, "He aha ahau i tuku ai i tēnei kia pā ki ahau, ā, he aha hoki ahau i tono ai mō te aroha?" Whakapono mai, ehara tēnei i te mea e tika ana kia pērā.

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13. Kei te hikoi tonu koe i runga i ngā anga hua manu i te taha o tō hoa

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe kia kaua e hē. Ahakoa te aha e mahia ana e koe, ka rapu tonu koe i tā rātou whakaae. Ka hikoi mārire koe i a rātou kia kore ai koe e tangi, kia kore ai rātou e wehe atu i te whanaungatanga. He āhua noho pōuri tonu te āhua ina noho tahi rātou, me te mea nei he whanonga a te tira haere i te taha o tētahi tangata rongonui.

He rite koe ki a koe? Ki te mea āe, whakaarohia te urupare a tō hoa ki a koe. He aha te mea e āhei ai rātou ki te whakararuraru i a koe pērā? Ko koe. Ko tō hiahia nui kia whakaaetia koe, kia whakamanahia hoki, ka akiaki i a koe ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia mau tonu ai tētahi ki roto i tō ao, ahakoa kāore ā rātou mahi e whakahoki mai i te aroha.

14. Ka maumahara tonu koe ki ngā kōrero iti katoa o tō whanaungatanga

Anō nei, he mea kua whakaromatia e te kiriata rom-com. Ehara i te mea he hapa whanaungatanga kia maumahara koe ki ngā whakatutukitanga iti o ō whanaungatanga. Ki ētahi tāngata, he tino aroha engari ki te kore tō hoa e aro nui ki tēnā, engari kei te mahi tonu koe, he tohu tēnā kei te inoi koe kia arohaina.

Ka mahi koe i tēnei nā te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakaatu ki a rātou te nui o tō uara ki tēnei whanaungatanga. Tērā pea he ngana anō tēnei ki te whakamanawareka i a rātou, ki te waihanga wāhi hoki i roto i ō rātou ngākau. Ko tō wehi noa iho kei kore koe e ranea.

15. He pai ake ki a koe te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kino i te noho mokemoke

E hiahia ana tātou katoa kia noho tahi tātou. Engari he aha te utu? Kei te mau tonu koe i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kino? Ka whiriwhiri koe i ngā hoa kāore e taea te noho tahi, ka mahi koe i ngā mahi katoa kia angitu ai te whanaungatanga, ā, ka kite koe kua tino ngenge koe i muri i ngā mea katoa. Ā, ka mea koe ki a koe anō, "He aha ahau i mutu ai ki ngā whanaungatanga kino?"

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui tēnei e tono aroha ana koe. Tērā pea ko tō wehi kei noho mokemoke koe. He pai ake ki a koe te noho tahi me tētahi e kitea ana kāore i te tika māu. Engari pātai atu ki a koe anō, he tino āwhina tēnei ki te whakakore i te wehi? Ka nui ake te kino, tika? Nō reira, he aha e kore ai e aro atu ki ngā hononga wehi me te mamae, kātahi ka rapu i te hoa tika?

E hiahia ana mātou kia mōhio koe he mea noa te tumanako ki te aroha. Ka ako katoa tātou i ā tātou tauira piripono mai i te tamarikitanga. Ko te kaupapa o tēnei tuhinga he whakamōhio i a koe ki ō tauira kia taea ai e koe te whakatau pai ake i a koe e haere ana i roto i tō huringa o ngā tūtakitanga aroha. Kei te inoi koe mō te aroha? Tīmata mā te pātai ki a koe anō i tēnei pātai, ā, whakautua ma te pono.

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Me pēhea te whakataurite i te mana motuhake i roto i te whanaungatanga?

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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