Te Kimi i te Aroha i Muri i te Wehenga – 9 Ngā Mea hei Whakamahara

Ehara i te mea he uaua noa ngā wehenga, engari he mea whakarerekē i te ao. Ā, he nui atu anō hoki te uaua o te wehenga! Ka waiho te tangata kia pōhēhē, kia kore e tumanako, kia pouri, kia kore e ngākau aroha. Ka puta ake hoki te manukanuka me te ruarua mō te kimi aroha i muri i te wehenga. I roto i te whanaungatanga, ka taunga tātou ki te titiro ki a tātou anō mai i te tirohanga a ō tātou hoa. Ka mutu tā tātou titiro ki a tātou anō hei mea takitahi, ka noho humarie ake ki te tūranga o te haurua o te katoa.

Ki te tangohia ohoreretia tēnā, ka pōhēhē tātou. Ka pōhēhē tātou mō te tangata, mō ā tātou e pai ai, me te wā ka kitea anō ai te aroha. He āhua poto te tirohanga a tātou katoa ina tae mai ki ō tātou kare ā-roto o nāianei. I kōrero mātou ki a Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaunihera mō te wehenga me te whakarere, mō āna tirohanga ki tēnei take. I kōrero mai ia ki a mātou mō ngā mea me maumahara te tangata i mua i te haerenga atu me te tumanako ka kitea te aroha pono i muri i te whakarere.

Te Kimi i te Aroha i Muri i te Wehenga - Aratohu Tohunga

Ka taea e te whakarere te tango i a koe i ētahi mea - tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, tō whakapono ki a koe anō, ō mahere mō āpōpō, ō moemoeā, ō pūtea, tō aroha, tō murunga hara, tō tumanako, tō manawanui me te maha atu anō. Koia te take he mea nui kia tuwhera koe ki te rapu āwhina. Ka taea e te āwhina te ako i a koe anō mā te pānui me te whakarongo ki ngā tohunga. Ka rite anō hoki ki te whakarongo ki ngā wheako o ētahi atu tāngata kua angitu ki te whakatere i roto i ngā rua taua i tēnei pakanga.

Mā te whakarongo ki ngā kōrero pono whakahihiko mō ngā whanaungatanga e whakaara anō i tō whakapono ki te aroha, me ngā kōrero pono mō te kimi aroha i muri i te whakarere, ka taea e koe te whai i te wairua hapori. Ka mārama koe, ka whakaaetia hoki ō mataku. Mā te whakarongo ki ngā tohunga ka hoatu he tirohanga whānui ki te raruraru i arahi ai ki tō whakarere, ā, ka whakaratohia he akoranga tino nui ka taea e koe te kawe ki tō whanaungatanga e whai ake nei. Mā te kaitohutohu whakarere pai koe e pupuri, e ārahi hoki i a koe i roto i te awha o ngā kare ā-roto kua pā ki a koe anake.

I roto i tēnei tuhinga, ka whakamārama mai a Shazia i te huarahi hei ārahi i a tātou ki te tuku i ngā mea tawhito, me te manaaki i ngā mea hou. E iwa ngā mea hei whakaaroaro mā te tangata ina rapu ana i ngā huarahi hei kimi i te aroha i muri i te wehenga. He mea tūturu te manukanuka ki ngā whanaungatanga hou , ā, ka kaha ake pea i muri i te wehenga, i te wehenga rānei. He tino āwhina ngā tohutohu a Shazia i a koe ki te kimi i ngā turanga pumau.

1. Kua rite koe ki te kimi i te aroha i muri i te wehenga?

E kitea pinepine ana ko te whakaaro tuatahi e puta mai ana i te wehenga, i te wehenga rānei i tētahi hononga roa kua pumau, ko te ngana ki te hoki ki tētahi hononga hou. He ngana pea tēnei ki te whakatau i te mokemoke. Tērā pea hoki ko te hiahia kia hae tō hoa o mua.

E mea ana a Shazia, "Me whakaaroaro koe ki a koe anō. Kaua e kahakina, e ngana rānei ki te whakaatu ki tō hoa o mua, ki a koe anō rānei ka taea e koe te neke atu, me tirotiro tuatahi koe i a koe anō. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, "Kua tino rite ahau mō tētahi hononga hou?" Kia pēhea te roa ka taea e koe te tīmata te whakaipoipo , e pātai ana koe? Tīmata te whakaipoipo mēnā kua rite koe."

He mea ngahau, he mea ataahua te aroha, engari he mahi uaua anō hoki te whakaipoipo. Kaua e uru atu ki tēnei mahi mēnā kāore koe e tino pai ana te wairua me te hauora. Kaua te kimi i te tāne tika i muri i te wehenga, te rapu rānei i te wahine ataahua hei whakatika i aua hapa, hei mea tuatahi māu e manukanuka ai i muri i tō wehenga.

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2. Kia ata haere

Kia oti i a koe te arotake i ō kare ā-roto, tera pea ka kitea koe kei tētahi wāhi pai ake. Tērā pea ka kitea e koe kua rite koe ki te whakawhirinaki anō ki tētahi me te whakapuaki i tō aroha ki a rātou. Tērā pea ka harikoa koe ki te tumanako ka taea e koe te whakaipoipo anō.

Kāore pea koe e mōhio, engari kei te rapu pea koe i te whakamana mai i tēnei whanaungatanga hou. Tērā pea ka pēhia koe kia angitu ai tēnei whanaungatanga hou ahakoa te aha, ahakoa te kore e aro ki ngā tohu e tika ana kia oma atu koe , kia muku hoki i ngā rohe hauora. I tētahi atu taha, tērā pea ka pēhia koe kia takahi i tētahi whanaungatanga tino pai.

Koia te take, ahakoa kua rite koe ki te tīmata te whakaipoipo, e kī ana a Shazia kia ata haere. "E mōhio ana tātou katoa, ko te ata haere me te pumau te mea e toa ai. Nō reira, kaua e hohoro te tuku i a koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Ko tāu e hiahia ana he wā me te wāhi kia tau ai ō kare ā-roto. Hoatu taua wāhi ki a koe anō," tana kī.

3. Ako mai i nga hapa o mua

He māmā noa te titiro ki tō whakarere, me te whakaaro he rahua tō whanaungatanga tawhito. Engari ko te whanaungatanga tawhito tonu - he whanaungatanga tawhito. Ko ngā hapa i mahia e koe he wāhanga katoa o te tukanga tipu o tō tuakiri. Ka tāpiri atu ēnei ki tō manawanui me tō tipu wairua. Ka hoatu he tūponotanga pai ake ki a koe ki te kimi i te aroha i muri i te whakarere.

He tino āwhina pea te titiro ki ngā wā o mua hei wheako ako. I raro i te arataki a te kaiārahi, ka taea e te tangata te ako ki te titiro matatau ki ngā wā o mua, te rapu i ngā hapa i mahia, me te whakaaro ki aua hapa hei akoranga. He whakarāpopototanga māmā noa iho tā Shazia, "Akohia mai i ngā hapa o mua, kia tūpato kei hoki anō."

4. Kia whai rohe hauora

Ko te tumanako ka kitea te aroha i muri i te wehenga ka whakaoho i a koe ki te hoki ki te rapu hoa. Tērā pea ka arahi koe ki te pouri. He maha ngā wā ka kitea te whakaaro o te tangata he iti te tūponotanga ka kitea te aroha i muri i te wehenga. Nā tēnei koretake o te māia ka akiaki i a rātou ki te rapu huarahi katoa kia angitu ai te whanaungatanga.

Heoi, e tohe ana a Shazia kia hoki whakamuri, kia arotake i tō āhua o nāianei, me ō kare ā-roto anō hoki. E mea ana ia, "Kia whai rohe whanaungatanga hauora māu, kia mau tonu tō wāhi whaiaro." Tērā pea he tamariki kei roto i te whakarere, he tamaiti e noho tahi ana me koe. Me huri pea koe i ngā mahi, me mahi nui ake rānei hei whakahaere i te āhua pūtea hou. Me nui ake pea te tautoko a te whānau me ngā hoa.

Koia te take me hoki whakamuri koe, ka kimi i ō hiahia mō tētahi whanaungatanga hou. Tērā pea kāore koe e hiahia ana ki te whai wāhi nui atu. Tērā pea kāore koe e hiahia kia tūtaki rātou ki tō whānau i tēnei wā tonu. Tērā pea kāore koe i te rite ki te whakapau i te wā roa. Ahakoa he aha te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe, whakatakotoria kia tika.

5. Mahi i a koe anō i mua i te kimi i te aroha i muri i te wehenga

He wā pai te whakarere, te wehenga rānei, ki te kohikohi i te wā hou me te wāhi hou katoa i roto i tō koiora, me te whakangao i aua wā ki tō tipu ake. I mua i te manukanuka mō te tipu ake i roto i te whanaungatanga , me manukanuka ki te whakaora i a koe anō. I mua i te manukanuka mō te kimi aroha i muri i te whakarere, me whakapau tō kaha hinengaro ki te whakapai ake i a koe anō. Anō, ka āwhina pea tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro mohio i a koe ki te kite i ngā take e hiahia ana koe kia aro wawe atu. Waihoki, mā ngā mahi whakaaroaro pēnei i te tuhi i tētahi rātaka me te whakaaroaro ka taea e koe te mārama ki ō ake take.

E mea ana a Shazia, "Mā te mahi i a koe anō ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahoki mai i tō whakapono ki a koe anō me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, e ngaro ana i te nuinga o te wā i roto i te tukanga mamae o te wehenga me te whakarere." Heoi anō, me puta koe i te raruraru hei putanga pai ake, hei putanga harikoa ake o koe i mua i te tūtaki ki tētahi atu. He mea nui tō pumau hinengaro me tō pumau pāpori ki te hauora o te whanaungatanga hou.

6. Kia tupato ki tāu kōrero ki a koe anō

Kāore e kore ko te whakarere me te wehenga ehara i te mea he wheako kino anake, engari he wheako whakararuraru hoki mō te nuinga o te tangata. Ahakoa he pai te whakarere, he wheako atawhai hoki, kei roto tonu i a ia te kare o te mate me te huringa whakararuraru. Tērā pea ka meinga koe e tēnei kia noho pōuri. Ko ngā kare pouri o te mokemoke i muri i te wehenga me te korenga o tētahi whanaungatanga nui, ka akiaki pea i a koe ki te pouri. Tērā pea kei te rongo koe i te whakahē a te hunga e mōhio ana koe.

I waenganui i ēnei kōrero kino katoa, ka nui ake te hiranga o te aro turuki i ngā mea e kōrerohia ana e koe ki a koe anō ina noho koe i roto i tō ake kamupene. E tohe ana a Shazia kia whai kōrero pai koe ki a koe anō, kia karohia hoki ngā momo whakaaro kino me ngā whakapae. Mā te whakaaroaro, te tuhi i ngā kōrero i roto i te rātaka, me te mahi i ngā whakaū o ia rā ka āwhina i a koe ki te huri i taua kōrero kino ki a koe anō hei kōrero pai.

7. Kia pono ki a koe ano

Whakapūmautia tō pono ki a koe anō, kaua hoki e wareware ki ō kare ā-roto. Ka aro atu a Shazia ki ngā āhua o te tangata ki te whakamanawareka i ētahi atu. Ina kitea te aroha i muri i te wehenga, ka kaha ake te hiahia ki te whakamanawareka i ētahi atu i te tuatahi. E kī ana a Shazia, "Tērā pea kei te toe te wehi kei ngaro te hoa hou. Akene me whakamanawareka koe i tēnei hoa i ngā huarahi katoa e taea ana e koe, kia angitu ai te whanaungatanga."

E tohutohu ana ia kia tūpato, me te tohe kia noho pono ki ō kare ā-roto me ngā urupare e tukuna ana e tō pūmanawa. Ka taea anake e koe te arotahi angitu ki ngā mea kē atu o tēnei rārangi o ngā mea hei whakaaroaro māu i te wā e kimi ana koe i te aroha pono i muri i te wehenga, mēnā ka oati koe ki tēnei whakaaro – kia noho pono ki a koe anō me te whakarite i ō ake matea kare ā-roto nui.

8. Whakanuia te manaaki i a koe anō, ā, haumi ki te tiaki i a koe anō

Kāore he wā pai atu hei tiaki i a koe anō. Ina hoki, kāore he wā e nui ake ai tō hiahia ki te tiaki i a koe i tō wā e hiahia ana koe ki te tiaki i a koe anō. Hurihia te kupu 'te kimi aroha i muri i te wehenga' ki te 'te kimi aroha māu anō i muri i te wehenga'. E kī ana a Shazia, "Kia mataara ki tō oranga ngākau me tō whakaora. Tō oranga ngākau, tō harikoa, te angitu me ō whanaungatanga katoa ā muri ake nei – nāu katoa. Ka tīmata katoa ki a koe anō. Nō reira me whakarite e koe a koe anō me ō hiahia."

Ka taea te tiaki i a koe anō i ngā āhua katoa. Whakarongo pai ki a koe anō. Tirohia ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe. Tērā pea ko ngā mea e tino kitea ana pērā i te kutikuti makawe, te mirimiri whakaora rānei. Tērā pea ko te tiaki i tō hauora tinana. Ko te whakapau moni nui ake ki a koe anō te momo tiaki me te aroha ki a koe anō e hiahiatia ana e koe. Tērā pea ko te whakapau wā nui ake ki te mahi i tētahi mea e pai ana ki a koe. Tērā pea ko te whakatakoto rohe hauora ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a koe.

Māu e whakatau he aha ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe, me pēhea hoki te tiaki i a koe anō. He mea tino nui tēnei i mua i tō tīmatanga ki te manukanuka mō te kimi aroha i muri i te wehenga i te ao o waho.

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9. Kaua e ngaro te tumanako i roto i te aroha

Koinei pea tētahi o ngā mea tino nui hei maumahara māu ina whakaaro ana koe ki te kimi aroha i muri i te wehenga. Kia tumanako! Whakapono mai, ina puta te aroha, kāore he mea e arai ana i a ia. Whakapono mai, he kare ā-roto taketake te aroha, ā, ka taea tonu te aroha anō. Ā, anō. Ko te mea e mau tonu ai te whanaungatanga pai ko te mahi tonu ki te pupuri i te hauora o te whanaungatanga. He mea tēnei kei raro i tō mana whakahaere, he mea e taea te mahi tika i tēnei wā.

Kia kitea e koe tētahi e ōrite ana, e meinga ai koe kia whakaaro he pai te pūrākau aroha i muri i te wehenga, ka whakaurua e koe ngā mea katoa i akohia e koe mai i ō whanaungatanga o mua, ā, ka pai ake tō mahi. E kī ana a Shazia, "I ētahi wā ka puta ngā mea kino i te ao, engari ehara i te mea kāore koe e kite i tētahi e tino pono ana. Me mahi koe ki te hanga anō i tō whakawhirinaki ki te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga."

Ngā Tohutohu Hei Whakaara Anō i te Whakawhirinaki ki te Aroha

Hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki, kia tūpato ki tō kamupene me ngā kōrerorero e karapoti ana i a koe. Whakapaua te wā ki te hunga e whai wāhi ana ki ngā kōrero pai mō te aroha. Kia tūpato ki ō whakaaro me te āhua o tā rātou hanga i ō whakapono. Ko ngā whakaū whanaungatanga pai , te whakarongo ki ngā kōrero angitu mō te kimi aroha i muri i te whakarere, te mātakitaki i ngā kiriata aroha mō te kimi aroha i muri i te whakarere, he huarahi katoa ēnei hei whakapai ake i taua kōrero whaiaro, hei manaaki i a koe anō, hei hanga i tō whakapono ki te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga.

Ka rongo tātou i te mamae, ā, ka whakapono tātou ka mau tonu. Ka ngaro te whakawhirinaki ki te āheinga o te pai ake āpōpō. E whakaaro ana ō tātou ngākau koinei te mutunga. Kāore tātou e ora. Engari ko ngā kōrero mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine rongonui kua wehe kē, ā, kua kitea te aroha i ngā wā katoa, he tauira tumanako. Kāore mātou e kī ana kia whakaritea ō tātou oranga ki ō rātou. He rerekē ō rātou wero me ō rātou mana i ō tātou. Engari he tangata tonu rātou, ā, he tino tauira kei reira te aroha mō te katoa. Ko rātou tētahi wāhanga o ngā tohu o te Ao Whānui e taea ai te kimi i te aroha i ngā wā katoa, ā, kei te haere mai te aroha ki a koe.

Kāore koe e mōhio mēnā he pai ake te whanaungatanga e whai ake nei i tērā o mua. I mua i te marenatanga o Meghan Markle ki a Piriniha Harry, ā, i noho hei Tiuka o Sussex, i moe ia ki a Trevor Engelson, he kaiwhakaari me te kaihanga kiriata o Amerika mō ngā tau e rua, whai muri i tana piripono mō ngā tau e whitu. I toa a Meghan Markle i ngā tūponotanga katoa, ā, ko ia te wahine tuatahi i whakarerea hei mema mō te Whānau Ariki.

I ētahi wā, ko te whakaiti i tō mamae mā te mātakitaki i ngā kiriata mō te kimi aroha i muri i te wehenga pea te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe. He maha ngā kiriata pai mō te oranga i muri i te wehenga e whakaatu ana i te huarahi e kitea ai e te hunga kua whakarerea te harikoa i roto i te aroha, i tētahi atu momo rānei. Ko ā mātou whakaaro ko It's Complicated , Gloria Bell me Enough Said me ētahi atu. Ko The Meddler e whakaatu ana i a Susan Sarandon hei pouaru hou, he whakaari pai mō te whakatau i te mokemoke, te manukanuka o te noho takakau, te kimi aroha me te neke whakamua.

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He mea nui tēnei whakapono. Ko te whakapono e huri ana te mea pumau anake, arā, ka ora koe, kei reira te aroha, engari ko te mea nui ake, kāore tō harikoa e whakawhirinaki ki te kimi i te aroha. Mā tēnei whakapono koe e whakatenatena ki te mahi i ēnei whakaaro. Mā ia whakaaro a Shazia koe e tautoko i te mahi a tetahi atu. Kia whakapono, kei te tata mai te harikoa.

Ki te whakaaro koe ka āwhina te tohutohu ngaio i a koe ki te whakatau i tēnei manukanuka mō te kimi aroha i muri i tō whakarere, i te whakaipoipo anō rānei, he kotahi noa te pāwhiri atu ki te rōpū tohunga a Bonobology .

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