33 Ngā Kupu hei Whakamutu i te Whakamārama Hau, hei Whakamutunga hoki i ngā Kaiwhakamārama Hau

He nui ngā mea kua tuhia (kua pānuihia hoki) mō te āhuatanga o te gaslighting. Ko ngā whakapae me ngā tautohe whakahē, pērā i te, "Kāore au i kōrero pēnā," "He whakaaro porangi tōu," "Kati te whakahihiri," me te "He kata noa iho taku," he nui ake te mana i tō whakaaro. Ka meinga koe e rātou kia ruarua i tō ake putanga o ngā kaupapa, kia hoki ki roto i te angaanga, kia pātai rānei i tō ake hinengaro. Ko ngā kupu gaslighting ngawari i roto i te whanaungatanga ka whakamahia hei whakapoauau me te whakahaere. Mā te whakamahi i ēnei, ka taea e te tangata te whakahaere i ētahi atu kia tango i te he, ā, kia kaua e whakawakia. Ā, me mutu! Kei ia tangata te mana ā-roto ki te whakatakoto i ō rātou ake rohe me te whakarite i ō rātou oranga. Me te maumahara ki tēnei, anei ngā kupu e 33 hei whakamutu i te gaslighting me te huri i te āhuatanga hei painga mōu. 

He aha te Whakamārama Hauhanga? 

Ko te whakamāramatanga o te Gaslighting ko: "te momo ngawari o te aronganui a whatumanawa "He maha ngā wā ka hua ake tēnei i te ruarua o te kaiwhiwhi mō tā rātou tirohanga ki te ao tūroa me tō rātou hinengaro tika." He momo tukino tinihanga tēnei, ā, ka tīmata mārire, mārire hoki. Ko te mea ka tīmata hei 'whakatikatika' i tō whanonga, ka huri hei whakakorenga nui i ō kare ā-roto i roto i te wā poto noa iho. 

Ko te mahi whakahāngai hau he mahi e whakamahia ana hei whakaatu i te mana ki runga ake i tētahi atu. Ka whakamahia e te hunga whakatoi (me te hunga whakahihi) ngā kīanga whakahāngai hau hei whakapoauau me te whakahaere hei rautaki noa hei mahi i te patunga whakamuri, hei hanga whakapoauau, hei whakangaro i te whakaaro nui o tētahi atu. Ka taea te tiro hei momo tukino kare ā-roto, ā, ka pā kino ki te hauora hinengaro o te patunga. 

He mea nui kia mōhiotia ka taea te whakamahi i te hauhautanga i roto i ngā momo whanaungatanga katoa, ehara i te mea ko ngā whanaungatanga aroha anake. Ka taea e ngā mātua, ngā tamariki pakeke, ngā hoa mahi, me ngā hoahoa te taka ki roto i te rautaki tinihanga o te whakamahi i te hauhautanga (me tōna pānga kare ā-roto). Me pēhea koe? kia mōhio koe kei te whakakāhia koe e te hauĀe, he tohu tino mārama kei reira, engari i mua i te katoa, me titiro roa, me te pono ki tō āhuatanga, kia rite hoki ki te aro atu ki ngā hua ina kati koe i tētahi tangata kino. Ki te kite koe i tētahi o ēnei e whai ake nei, tera pea ka pāngia koe e tētahi kaipahua hau i roto i tō oranga: 

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Haepapa i roto i ngā Hononga - Te Tikanga, te Hiranga, me ngā Huarahi hei Whakaatu 

• Kāore koe e mahara tika ana ki ngā mea 
• Ka pātai koe i tō ake putanga o ngā kaupapa
• He uaua ki a koe te whakawhirinaki ki ētahi atu 
• Kei te pouri koe, ā, kei te pōhēhē tonu koe 
• He maha ngā wā ka huri koe i te whakapae ki a koe anō  
• Kei te kitea e koe anō kei te whakapāha i ngā wā katoa 
• Kei te rapu huarahi koe hei whakamatau i a koe anō 
• Me tautoko e koe ō kōrero ki ngā meka
• Kei te noho humarie koe, ko ia anake, ā, kāore i te mārama te mārama 
• Kei te pōhēhē koe me te mea kei te hē tetahi mea, engari kāore koe i te tino mōhio he aha te hē
• Ka memeha tonu ō kare ā-roto 
• Kāore he kawenga i roto i tō oranga
• He nui rawa ngā whakahē 
• Ka karo te tangata kē atu i te tango i te kawenga mō āna mahi

He aha ngā kīanga e kōrerotia ana e te kaipātū hau? 

Kei te kite koe i tētahi aho ōrite i roto i ngā tohu katoa kua whakahuatia? E mōhio ana koe he mahi tā te kaipātū hau mā te tautuhi i tō ngoikoretanga me te whakamahi i taua ngoikoretanga hei painga mō rātou? 

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tohu o te Kore Aroha i roto i ngā Hononga me ngā Huarahi e 6 hei Whakatau i a ia

Mena kua pāngia koe e tētahi, e te katoa rānei o ngā kīanga i raro nei, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te whakamutu i te whakamahi hauhautanga kore-ā-ringa, kua tae pea te wā kia kōrero koe, kia tono āwhina rānei mō te whakamutu i te whakamahi hauhautanga kia puta ai i tēnei whanaungatanga tukino kare ā-roto: 

Ngā kīanga 10 e whakamahia ana mō te tahu hau 

Te nuinga noa ngā kīanga whakakā hau i roto i te whanaungatanga ka tīmata ki 'koe' ka arahi ki ngā whakapae me ngā kōrero teka. Kei roto pea i ēnei:

• Kei te whakaaro koe i ngā mea 
• Kei te nui rawa tō urupare ki tō whakaaro hohe rawa 
• He nui rawa ō kare ā-roto 
• Kati te whakanui rawa. He porangi koe. 
• He tino pukuriri koe / he nui rawa tō whakaari / he tairongo 
• Kāore koe e whai tikanga ana 
• Kei te mataku koe 
• E mōhio ana te katoa he pūmau koe 
• He kata noa iho tāku; kati te whakanui i tēnei take nui
• Ko au te tino patunga i konei, nō reira kati te mahi pēnei i tētahi

Ko te mōhio ki ēnei kōrero me te kite i a rātou anō - te tukino hinengaro - te taahiraa tuatahi ki te whakangaro i tētahi kaitukino. Mena kua roa koe e pāngia ana e te kaitukino i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, tera pea he tino uaua ki a koe te kohikohi i te maia ki te kōrero, ki te mōhio ki te mea hei kōrero ki tētahi hoa rangatira/hoa e kaitukino ana, ki te whakaae rānei ki ō ake kare ā-roto he pono. Engari kei konei mātou ki te kī atu e whakapono ana mātou ki a koe, ā, ka taea e koe! Kāore he tangata e tika ana kia whakakorehia ōna ake kare ā-roto. Nō reira, pānuihia tonu kia mōhio ai koe ki te whawhai ki a rātou. 

33 Ngā Kupu Kaha hei Whakamutu i te Whakamahinga Hauhanga

He whanonga tukino te whakahāwea hau, he rautaki whakatoi hoki, ā, me mutu i te tīmatanga tonu. He mea nui kia kaua e tukua te tangata tukino. Kaua e tīmata ki te whakapono ki ā rātou kōrero, ki te whakarerekē rānei i tō whanonga 'kino'. Ko te huarahi anake o te urupare ki te rama hau mā te whawhai ahi ki te ahi. Kua tae ki te wā ki te aro atu ki te kaitukino, kia mau ki ō ake kupu whai mana hei whakamutu i te whakahāwea. Tērā pea me mahi tonu, engari i te mutunga, pērā i ngā kaitukino katoa ina karangahia, ka taea te whakaiti i te whanonga a te hoa tukino. Anei ngā kupu e 33 hei whakamutu i te whakahāwea i roto i te whanaungatanga hei whakamana i tō ake kōrero: 

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi e Pāngia ai te Hononga e te Whakawhiti Whakahē

1. Ka whakawhirinaki ahau ki ahau ano. 
2. He rerekē taku mahara ki ngā mea. 
3. He tika tōku ki ōku ake kare ā-roto. 
4. Ko tāku e hiahia ana kia arotahi ki ngā meka. 
5. Kāore au e tautohetohe mēnā i tupu tēnei.
6. Kāore au e whakaae ki tēnei whanonga tinihanga.
7. E kore ahau e pai kia whakaititia ahau pēnei. 
8. Homai he wā ki ahau ki te whakaaroaro mō taua mea. 
9. E mataku ana ahau koinei tāu tirohanga, ehara i taku. 
10. Kāore au i te whakaae ki tāu e kōrero nei. 
11. Kua mutu tēnei kōrero porangi.  
12. Kāore au e tuku i a koe kia rerekē ōku whakaaro. 
13. Me kōrero tēnei e au ki ētahi atu tāngata. 
14. E kore ahau e tukuna ki tētahi āhuatanga e pātai ai ahau i tōku ake hinengaro mārama. 
15. Kāore au e aro atu ki te āhua o tāu kōrero/whakaaro mai ki ahau. 
16. Me kōrero tāua ki tētahi atu mō tēnei mea, kia whiwhi ai tāua i tētahi whakaaro pono. 
17. E whakapono ana ahau ki taku tirohanga. 
18. Whakarongo mai. Kāore e tika ana te tinihanga i ahau. 
19. Ehara i te mea e pā ana ki ahau ō whakaaro. 
20. E whakaute ana ahau ki tō tirohanga, engari he rerekē ōku whakaaro. 
21. Kāore au e tautohetohe ki a koe ki te kore tāua e tae ki tētahi whakataunga whai hua. 
22. Kāore au e hiahia ana ki tāu whakaae. 
23. Kāore au e whakaae ki tāu maimoatanga puku. 
24. Me whakaute anō hoki koe i tōku tirohanga. 
25. Kāore au e whakarerekē i taku whakaaro. 
26. I mamae tō kata. 
27. Kāore au i te rongohia. 
28. Koinei te mea e hiahiatia ana e au i tēnei wā tonu. 
29. E mōhio ana ahau ki te mea pai mōku, ā, ka karo ahau i te tango i te kawenga mō āu mahi.
30. Kei te hiahia ahau ki te whai wā okioki mai i tēnei kōrero. 
31. E mōhio ana ahau kei te riri koe. Kei te riri hoki ahau. 
32. Kāore au e whakautu ana ki tēnā. 
33. Māku anō tēnei whakatau e whakatau.

Ka taea e ēnei kīanga te āwhina i a koe ki te tū pakari me te whakaū i tō ake ao tūturu. Ahakoa kāore e taea e rātou te aukati i te kaipatu hau i ngā wā katoa, ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe pai ake te whakawhitiwhiti korero me te kaha ake, me te tiaki i tō ake oranga me te hauora hinengaro. 

Anei ētahi atu huarahi hei whakamōmona i ngā pūahi hau: 

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatakoto i ngā rohe kare ā-roto i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?

• Kia arotahi, kia marino hoki i roto i tō kōrero 
• Whakapaua tō wā ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro 
• Ka taea e koe te whakaharatau i ō whakautu hei whakarite mō ngā kōrerorero a meake nei
• Whakawhirinaki ki ō kare ā-roto, ā, whakautua kia rite 
• Tīmatahia he pukapuka tuhi hei aroturuki i ngā kaupapa me te whakaiti i te ruarua ki a koe anō
• Whakatakotoria he rohe mārama mō ngā mea ka taea te tupu me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia 
• Kia whakapono ki tō kaha ki te whakahē i ētahi atu, kaua hoki e rapu whakamana
• Kia mau tonu te titiro kanohi i te roanga o te kōrero kia kaha ai te kōrero
• Whakaakohia koe anō, pānuihia hoki ngā kōrero mō te tukino, te whakapehapeha, tukino aronganui, me te whakakā hau
• Tiakina tō oranga ngākau mā te tiaki i a koe anō me ngā mahi whakaaroaro 
• Rapua he āwhina mā roto i ngā rōpū tohutohu me ngā rōpū tautoko, kōrero rānei ki tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro

Tākuta Robin Stern, te kaituhi o Te Pānga o te Mārama Hau, i kōrero mō te gaslighting i roto i tētahi tuhinga āwhina: "Ina tukinotia te tangata, he tohu kei reira ka taea e koe te tohu atu he tino kitea. Hei tauira, ka taea e te tangata kua patua, kua whakawehia rānei te kite me te mārama ki te āhua o tō rātou whara. Engari ina whakahaeretia koe e tetahi, ka ruarua koe i a koe anō ka tahuri tō aro ki a koe anō hei tangata hei whakapae." Kei te noho tātou i ngā wā kāore e taea e tātou te whakatau he aha te mea tūturu, he aha te mea ehara. Nō reira, he mea nui anō hoki te ako i ēnei kīanga hei whakamutu i te gaslighting me te pupuri i tō tātou ake māramatanga ki te ao tūturu. Me mōhio tātou ki te whakahaere i ngā kare ā-roto me te tukino mō te aha. Ko reira anake ka taea ai e tātou te piri ki ā tātou ake whakataunga me te tiaki i tō tātou hauora hinengaro. 

E 9 ngā take e whakaaro ana te tohunga he koretake tō whanaungatanga

Te Whakamārama i te Hinengaro i roto i ngā Hononga - 7 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Tāutu me ngā Huarahi e 5 hei Whakamutu

9 Ngā Tauira Whakamārama Hauhanga Noa o te Narcissist Ko tā mātou e tumanako nei kāore koe e rongo

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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