I tipu ake ahau i roto i tētahi whānau Brahmin i Chennai, he whānau mātauranga pai. He mea nui tonu ki ahau ngā tākuta. Kāore au e whakakahore i taku hiahia ki te moe tākuta i tētahi wā o te ao. Inaa, i te taenga mai o ngā tono marena whakarite ki ōku mātua, i tumanako ahau kia rua, toru rānei ngā tākuta ātaahua. Kāore rawa he tono mai i ngā tākuta. Ko ērā i reira, kāore i te ātaahua.
(E ai ki te kōrero ki a Irewati Nag)
Kei roto i taku marena ngā mea katoa e rapua ana e koe
Ripanga o Ihirangi
I te mutunga iho, ka moe ahau i tētahi CA, nō Mumbai ahau e noho ana. He rangatira taku tāne, ko tētahi o ngā CA tino angitu o te tāone. Kua rongo ahau i ētahi atu he tangata mohio ia ki te whiriwhiri, he tino pukumahi hoki, ā, he aro nui ki ngā taipitopito. He mea whakahīhī ki ahau ina rongo ahau i ana whakamoemiti mai i ētahi atu.
Tokorua āku tama inaianei; e hiahiatia ana e taku tāne kia haereere ia mō ngā wiki e 3-4 i ia wā i runga i tana mahi. Nō reira, e 3-4 wiki ia e ngaro ana i ia marama e rua.
Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whai hua i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti?
I neke te tāne a taku hoa pai ki te tāone
Nō nā tata nei, ka neke a Anuj, te tāne a taku hoa pai mai i Chennai, ki Mumbai. He tākuta ia. I taea e ia te whiwhi i tētahi tūranga tino teitei i tētahi o ngā hōhipera pai rawa atu i Mumbai. Haunga te mahi tākuta, he tino ātaahua ia, he pai ōna kākahu, ā, he māeneene hoki tana kōrero. Heoi anō, he pai tana whakarongo.
He tino pai ki ahau tōna noho tahi. Kāore a Aruna, taku hoa pai, i taea te whakauru atu ki a ia, nā te mea ko ia te tumuaki o te tari pūtea mō tētahi kamupene hangarau mōhiohio matua i Hyderabad. Nō reira, ka haere tonu rāua ki te tūtaki tetahi ki tetahi.
I ngā marama kua taha ake nei, kua tino aroha ahau ki a Anuj. He rite tonu te āhua o te tokorua. Kei te noho ia i tētahi whare noho i Mumbai, e tino mōhio ana ahau kei te mokemoke ia, nō reira he maha tonu tana hokinga mai ki te kāinga i ngā wiki mutunga.
Ahakoa tōku aroha katoa ki taku tāne, me kī atu ahau ko tōku hiahia ki a Anuj he mea ā-tinana, ā-whaiaro hoki. Ahakoa kāore a Anuj e mangere ki te hoki ki te kāinga ina tae mai taku tāne, he nui ake tōna wātea ki tōku kāinga ina kore taku tāne.
Ka pārekareka ahau ki te ahuareka o te tinana me te kōrero tonu ki a Anuj i te wā kāore taku tāne i reira. Ko te raruraru inaianei, kāore a Aruna me taku tāne i te mōhio ki ana haerenga ki tōku whare i te wā kāore taku tāne i reira.
He aha te ingoa hei ingoa mō tēnei whanaungatanga?
I ētahi wā ka patua ahau e taua hara . E mataku ana hoki ahau ki te kī he mahi moepuku i tua atu i te marena, koinei te ingoa o te ao. Ki taku whakaaro he nui ake te noho whakamarie me tētahi atu tangata ehara i tō tāne. Ki te pātai mai tētahi ki ahau, he aha ahau i huna ai, kāore he whakautu māku.
E whakapono ana hoki ahau kāore he hē o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana ki a Anuj. He aha te take e whakanuia ai e te hapori tēnei mea? Āe, me i whakaarohia e ia he mea noa iho, pērā i te haerenga ki te wharepaku, ki te kaukau rānei; he tino māmā noa iho.
Ki taku titiro, kāore māua tokorua i te taha o ā māua hoa rangatira. I a rāua e noho tahi ana, ko ō māua hoa rangatira te mea e huri ana i tō māua ao. Kāore māua ko Anuj e whakaiti i te aro e hoatu ana e māua ki ō māua hoa rangatira. Āe, me i taea e māua te whakamārama i ngā mahi a māua ko Anuj ki a māua anō. Te pai o tō māua tipu ake i te taumata whaiaro.
Ko te pono o te tinana tētahi o ngā oati o te marena
E kī mai ana a Anuj ki ahau he nui ake tōna mārama ki tana wahine i tōna mōhiotanga i mua. Kua taea e au te wikitoria i tōku mokemoke me te pouri i tōku mōhiotanga i mua, nō reira kua iti haere ngā tautohetohe ki taku tāne. Inaianei ka taea e au te kōrero pai ake ki taku tāne. I ēnei rā ka noho tahi māua ki te kōrero mō āna mahi, he mea i kino ki ahau i mua. Me kī atu ahau nā taku whanaungatanga ki a Anuj ahau i marino ake ai, i whakaae ake ai ki taku whanaungatanga ki taku tāne.
Me kī atu ahau, nā taku whanaungatanga ki a Anuj ahau i marino ake ai, i whakaae ake ai ki taku whanaungatanga ki taku tāne.
Nā tēnei kua kaha ake te hononga ki taku tāne. Pērā anō hoki ngā kōrero a Anuj mō tōna whanaungatanga ki a Aruna.
Kāore au e tautoko ana kia haere koutou katoa ki waho ki te moe tāne. Ko tāku e kī nei, me whakakore e tātou te hapori te whakaaro whakahē i te hunga e moe tāne ana i waho o te marena. Ko tētahi tēnei o ngā kupu whakaari i roto i te marena; ina kore e tutuki i ngā hoa rangatira ētahi atu kupu whakaari, kāore te whakatau i te tino kino. He aha te take e whakamahia ai te rōpū matatika nā te mea pea ka uru te tinana ki tēnei āhuatanga?
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
I muri i te pānui i ngā kōrero katoa, ki taku whakaaro kua tae mai te whakautu ki a koe, arā, ehara i te mea tika te moe tahi me te tāne a tō hoa pai,
Kaua e pātai anō i taua pātai kuware me tō whakamārama paraurehe
He pātai tino māmā noa iho tēnei e hiahia ana ahau ki te pātai atu, me pēhea mēnā ka pērā anō tāu tāne ki a koe,,,,mēnā ko tāu whakautu he kāore he raruraru māu,,kāore koe i te whakaaro he aha te momo mea ka puta?,,#ka whakapono te katoa ki te tinihanga i tā rātou hoa rangatira,,,ā, ko te mea tino whakakatakata, ko tēnei ka tino whakamarie koe,,,he aha rawa,,,,kia whakamarie koe ki tō hoa rangatira e hoa,,,,,ko te tinihanga i tētahi hoa aroha e arohaina ana e kore rawa e whakaaetia he mea tika,,,,ahakoa he pai rawa tāu whakamārama engari he hē e hoa,,he tino hē rawa.
Ki taku whakaaro, ki te whakaatu te tāne i te aroha mutunga kore, e kore rawa ia e tinihanga i a ia. He rerekētanga kei reira.
Tuhinga o mua
Te kore o te piripono kare ā-roto
Ngā hiahia taikaha mō te hua rāhui.
Ko ētahi ēnei o ngā take. Ehara i te mea he wahine kairau ngā wāhine kāinga katoa. I mua i tō kōrero, whakaarohia he whaea tōu kei te kāinga.
He whakaaro noa iho te aroha mutunga kore. He pono, kāore te aroha e pumau. Me i piri tonu te aroha, kua kore te Perehitini Tuarua o mua o Amerika, a Al Gore, e whakarere i a rāua i muri i te tata ki te 40 tau. Ka rerekē te āhua o te aroha, ā, e kore e kore e taea e te tangata te whakarere i ngā mea katoa me te urutau ki te āhua o te aroha e rerekē ana.
Ko tāku e kī nei, kāore te aroha e here i te marena. Ko te whakawhirinaki, ko te aroha, ko te whakahoahoa e here ana. He āhuatanga pai ēnei.
Kāore e taea e te tāne, e te wahine rānei te whakarērea i ngā mea katoa, ka ruia tonutia te hiahia me te aroha mutunga kore tetahi ki tetahi. He pono ka pā mai ngā mahi o ia rā me ngā wā noa o te whānau e whakahōhā ai. Kāore au e whakamārama atu i ēnei i konei.
Heoi, ko te hoha, ā, ko te moe tāne ki tāwāhi he tohu tēnei kua huri te wahine/tāne hei wahine kairau/kaitapere.
He maha ngā āhuatanga ka hoha ai koe; kāore he herenga morare o tō tāne ki te whakarērea i ngā mea katoa me te whakatutuki noa i ō hiahia.
Kāore au e hiahia ki te whakawhānui ake i aku kōrero, engari me kī atu ahau mēnā he moe tāne tōku whaea (kua mate), e kore ahau e mangere ki te kī he wahine kairau ia. He ture ngā ture. He kirimana pāpori te marena mā te māramatanga katoa. Ki te tinihanga koe i tētahi kirimana, me utu e koe ngā hua.
Kia ora Deb,
Kua mutu taku herekore, ā, me tīmata anō taku mahi. Koinei pea taku kōrero whakamutunga mō tēnei take nā runga i ngā take whaiaro.
Ko tāku noa iho, ehara te wehi i te ārai i te tangata kei mahi hē. Ko te tangata e mahi ana i ēnei mahi hē, e mahi ana i tēnei me te whakapono kāore rātou e mau. Mena he ārai te wehi, he nui ngā āhuatanga pāpori o nāianei kia kore ai te tangata e uru ki ēnei mahi hē.
Mai i āu kupu, ko tāku i mārama ai, kāore anō kia taea e koe te wareware i ngā mea kino kua pā ki ō whanaunga me ō hoa aroha. E aroha ana ahau ki a koe, nā te mea me pāngia koe e ēnei raruraru kare ā-roto katoa, ehara i te mea nāu. Engari ngana ki te muru i ngā hapa a ētahi atu, ka tau te rangimārie ki a koe. He whakaaro noa iho tēnei, ā, ki te kore e kitea e koe he otinga, kaua e whakaaro he.
Ehara i te mea kino te whakarere. Kei te tango ahau i tō taokete-i-te-ture hei tauira. Whakaarohia mēnā kāore ia i moe tāne engari kua ngaro i a ia te whanaungatanga me te aroha ki tō tuahine (kei te whakaaro ahau ko te taokete-i-te-ture te tāne a tō tuahine, ehara i te teina o tō wahine). Kāore ia e hiahia ki te kōrero ki tana wahine. E mārama ana ka riri rāua ki te marena. Ka tino mamae tō tuahine nā te mea kāore ia e mōhio ki ngā take tuturu. Nō reira, i tētahi ara, kua hoatu e te whakarere he whai wāhi ki a ia kia neke atu.
Kua whakamahia e au te Aroha hei kupu whānui mō te Hoa, te aroha, te ngākau aroha, te whakawhirinaki me te whakaute. Mēnā ka ngaro tētahi o ēnei āhuatanga i roto i te marena, ki taku whakaaro ko te whakarere te mea pai mō ngā hoa e rua.
Kāore au e whakaae he mea nui te noho tata ki te tinana kia angitu ai te marena. Tata ki te tau te roa o taku whanaungatanga tawhiti me taku wahine. Tata ki te rima tau te roa o taku whanaungatanga tawhiti me taku tungāne. Ko tētahi atu o taku whanaunga kua tata ki te 21 tau te roa o taku marena, ā, tata ki te tekau tau te roa o taku whanaungatanga tawhiti. Nō reira ki taku whakaaro kāore e hiahiatia te noho tata ki te tinana kia angitu ai te marena.
Kua tīmata anō taku mahi, ā, kāore pea e taea e au te whakautu atu ki a koe. Ngā mihi nui mō te kōrero whakahihiri. Kia ora tonu koe.
kirikiri
Kia ora Sandip. Kāore au i te tino mōhio he aha koe i tukuna ai ki te parōra.
Mō ngā ārai, he pai tonu. Ina koa ko te whakama i te aroaro o te marea (haunga te tutu, te tukino tinana rānei e whakaarohia ana he mea e haere tahi ana). Kāore e whiua ngā hara nā te mea kāore i te tika te whakatinanatanga o te kaupapa o te ture. He take motuhake tēnā. Kāore e taea te whiu i te tangata puremu e tētahi pūnaha ture. Kāore ia i hara.
Mō āu tauira me āu whakaaro mō ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti, hei tauira mō te whakawhirinaki, ki taku whakaaro he tūponotanga ēnei hei ture. Ko te tokorua i roto i te whanaungatanga tawhiti mō ngā tau 10, he WHAKAPONO tā rātou ki te pupuri i taua whakawhirinakitanga. He mea tino pai, he tauira hoki tēnā, engari kāore e taea te tumanako atu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa.
Kia ora tonu koe i roto i tōu ao, me te hiahia kia angitu koe i ngā mea katoa.
Kia ora Deb,
Ha ha ha.. he kupu whakarite noa iho te kupu "parole". I tawhiti atu ahau i te whānau me te mahi nā te mea he mahi whaiaro taku i tōku kāinga. Inaianei kua hoki mai ahau ki te whānau, ā, kua tīmata anō taku mahi.
He rerekē rawa te momo oranga kua kitea e au i ō koutou. Nō Kerala ahau i tētahi takiwa kei reira he mema mahi i ia kāinga rerekē i te Middle East, ā, kāore anō kia rongo au i tētahi hara. Nō reira, he rerekē ngā tirohanga.
Heoi anō, ngā mihi nui anō mō tētahi kōrero whakahihiri. Kia ora tonu.
He pono, he take tēnei mō te kai i te keke, me te kai anō hoki, kei te mahi ia i ana moemoeā i runga i te tikanga tika, pērā i te mea, me pēhea mēnā ka kitea e taku tāne, e taku hoa rānei….he tino kore kawenga.Mēnā he mokemoke ia, he hiahia nui ki te moepuku, ko te moepuku te otinga. I hiahia noa ia ki te whakamātau i tētahi tangata hou. Kāore i te pai> me kōrero ia ki ngā hoa rangatira e pā ana. Ā, mēnā he rite te moepuku ki te kaukau – e hia ngā wā ka panaia e ia tētahi mea ke ehara i a ia ki roto i tana tara?
Tēnā kaua rawa e hoki mai ki Īnia.
He aha ai? Nā te mea ka hopukia koe e au e tinihanga ana?
Kia ora Deb
Ki taku whakaaro, ehara te wehi i te ārai i te whai wāhi ki te hara/te mahi hē. Mēnā koinei te āhua, ko ngā whenua o te Rawhiti o Waenganui te hunga e iti ana te hara. Engari, ko ngā whenua o Scandinavia, e kiia ana he nui rawa ngā ture rīperare, ko rātou te hunga e iti ana te hara. Nō reira, ehara te wehi i te ārai.
E whakaae ana ahau ki tāu kōrero e kī ana ko te hoa i pūmau i roto i te whanaungatanga te hunga e tino pāngia ana e te puremu a tana hoa.
He paku hiahia nōku ki te mōhio, ā, he mihi mai mō te takahi i tō wāhi whaiaro. Mā te kite i tō aro nui ki te whakaiti i te aroaro o te marea, ka whakaaro ahau mēnā i pāngia koe, i tētahi rānei o ō whanaunga nā te tinihanga a te hoa. Aroha mai anō mēnā kei te takahi ahau i tō wāhi whaiaro.
Kia ora Sandip,
He rerekē te ahurea o ngā whenua Scandinavian. Ki taku mōhio ki tō rātou ahurea, he mea noa ngā marena tuwhera, ā, e whakaaetia ana hoki te marena maha. Kāore ngā tamariki i whānau mai i waho o te marena whaimana e whiua ki roto i ngā awaawa, e tukuna atu rānei ki ngā whare kuri, ki ngā puni whakangungu rānei. He rerekē te ahurea i te USA. He rite tonu a Tiamana ki te USA, engari kāore a Wīwī me Ingarangi. Engari ko Pinirana (Scandinavian) anō te mea i whakaahuahia e koe. Nō reira, ehara te puremu me ētahi atu mea i ngā whenua Scandinavian i te take nui. Ki te pakaru ngā hononga, ka tiakina ngā tamariki, ā, ka taea te karo i te whakangaromanga pūtea nā te mea ko te pūnaha hapori rīperare i ngā whenua Scandinavian te kupenga haumaru.
Heoi, ko te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua tūtaki ahau i aku haerenga ki Netherlands, ki Finland rānei, ahakoa he whanaungatanga tuwhera, he whanaungatanga takitahi rānei, e whakahē ana ki te tinihanga, ki te whanoke rānei. Ko te whakaaro nui ko te taatai me te oranga he nui, ā, kei a koe te mana ki te whiriwhiri. Nō reira, kāore e taea e ngā Scandinavian te tinihanga. E mahara ana ahau i te tau 2010 i a au e rere ana ki Berlin i runga i te Lufthansa, i tūtaki ahau ki tētahi tāne me tētahi tāne swinger i roto i te rererangi e noho ana i Denmark. Tokorua ngā tāne i whakawhitiwhiti i ā rāua hoa wahine MOTUHAKE. He tamariki ā rāua i noho tahi me ngā koroua me ngā kuia i noho ki Seville, France me Corvallis, Oregon, USA. Kāore rawa he mauahara i waenganui i a rāua. He tino hoa aroha tetahi ki tetahi. I te titiro atu ki taku kauae miharo, ka kata rāua, ka kī mai he tino pono rāua ki tō rāua whanaungatanga tetahi ki tetahi. Mena me moe te wahine i waho, ka mōhio te tāne, ā, kāore e whakahē. Waihoki ki te tāne. Engari ahakoa he aha tā rāua e mahi ai, he tino pono.
Heoi, i whakaute rātou (ngā swingers) i te ariā o te kotahitanga i roto i te marena/ngā whanaungatanga. Engari i tino whakamā rātou, ā, i whakahē hoki ki te tinihanga.
Nō reira, ahakoa kua whakamāramahia e au aua wheako whakapoauau katoa, kei te whakahē tonu ahau i a koe mō te take ārai. Me whai ārai. Ki te puta te puremu, ko te mea pai rawa atu ko te whakatū ture i te whakarere, ā, i te nuinga o ngā wā ka tukuna te hoa tinihanga – nā te ahurea pōhēhē, rūpahu-rīperare. Nō reira, ahakoa e whakaora ana te whakarere i te hoa i pāngia i te haere tonu o te whanaungatanga kino, kāore e whakaora i te patunga. I roto i te take kōhuru, ka whiua te tangata hara ki te mate – ka tangohia te ora mō te ora. I roto i ngā hononga i waho o te marena, kāore ngā mea rite e tupu. Ko te tangata i tinihangatia te tangata i hinga. Ka kata te hapori ki a ia nā te mea e kiia ana ia he koretake, he kore mohio. He tino hē tēnā. Ā, he ahua hinga tō tūnga – ko te tikanga kāore koe e kī ana he otinga engari ko te tono noa ki te tangata i tinihangatia kia wareware, kia neke atu.
Hei whakamutunga, me whakaae ahau nā te aroha noa o te Ariki kei te harikoa tonu ahau i muri i te 26 tau o taku marena. Ae, hei pupuri i taku marena, kāore māua e moepuku pēnei i te 26 tau ki muri. Kua koroheke māua, ā, kāore i te tino pai te hauora. Nō reira, me ngā rongoā me ētahi atu, kei te noho tahi tonu māua engari ehara i te mea mō te moepuku. Kua pakari ake tō māua whanaungatanga.
Kua kite ahau i taku tungāne e whakarere kino ana i te tau kotahi i muri i tana marena nā te mea i tinihanga tana wahine. I whakaae tana wahine i roto i te Kōti i tinihanga ia, engari i tukuna ia e te Kōti me te papaki i te ringa. Kua neke atu ia, ā, kei te harikoa māua ināianei i roto i te marena me te tamahine ataahua.
He hononga tāne anō tā taku taokete i muri i te 6 tau o tana marena me tana tama 4 tau te pakeke. Tekau mā iwa tau te pakeke o taua tama inaianei. Kua whakarerea tōna pāpā, ā, kua marena inaianei ki tana hoa rangatira, he tamāhine tā rāua i mua. Ko te āhua pōuri o tana tama, me te āhua o tana tipu ake, he mea whakatenatena pai tēnei māku ki te tautoko i te whakama tūmatanui mō ngā take puremu. I whakarerea taku hoa pai i muri i te 29 tau o te marena me ā rāua tamariki tokorua e haere ana ki te kāreti! He mea whakarerekē te ao tūturu i ēnei, kāore he whakaaro noa, he mea whakarihariha rānei.
Kāore rawa au i te riri mō tō whakaurunga mai i tōku wāhi whaiaro. Kei roto katoa i te paru inaianei. Ko tāku tumanako kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga pumau, pono hoki, ā, kāore koe i tukinotia, i tika rānei kia tukinotia i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.
Kia ora Deb,
Ki te pono, kāore au i te mōhio ki te whanaungatanga o ngā whenua o Scandinavia. I ngana noa ahau ki te tohu kāore te wehi e ārai i te tangata ki te mahi hara mā te whakahua i ngā tauira o ngā whenua o te Middle East me Scandinavia. Waihoki, ko te hunga e tūtaki ana ki ngā mahi moepuku i tua atu i te marena, kāore e manukanuka ki tā rātou whiu. Inaa, ka mataara ake rātou, ā, ka mahi i ngā mahi paru i muri i te tuara o te katoa.
He tino kino te āhua o te tukino i te patunga i roto i te hapori Inia. Ahakoa ehara te he o te hoa pono i te mahi pōrangi i tua atu i te marena, ka ngana tonu te hapori ki te tukino i a rātou. Ahakoa ka whakaititia e koe ngā kaihara i te aroaro o te iwi, ka meinga tonu e te hunga tukino te patunga kia whakaaro ko ia te he. Nō reira, kāore he pai o te whakaititia i te aroaro o te iwi ki te patunga.
He kaitautoko kaha ahau i te moe tāne, wahine rānei, ā, e whakapono ana ahau ko te hunga tinihanga anake ka uru ki ngā mahi moepuku i tua atu i te marena. Kāore māua ko taku wahine i te rite ki te whakaiti i a māua ki te taumata o te tangata tinihanga.
I a au tētahi hoa mahi, ko tana wahine te mea tino pai rawa atu. Ahakoa tana mahi i tētahi umanga, ka whakarite ia kia whiwhi taku hoa mahi i ngā mea tino pai katoa. Ka tākai ia i tana tina, ka hoatu hoki he koha ki a ia i ētahi wā. Kāore ia e riri ina he iti ngā mea a taku hoa mahi, kāore hoki e whakaatu i te āwangawanga ina kōrero noa ia ki ngā kōtiro i ngā pāti tari. Engari i pakaru tana kāinga moemoeā i tana kitenga kei te moe tāne tana wahine me tōna rangatira. Mōna, kua kite ahau i te mamae o ngā patunga ina kitea e ia te hara. I konei hoki kua kite ahau i te tukino a te hapori i runga i te ingoa o te aroha.
Ko tētahi atu tauira ko te kōrero a tētahi o ōku whanaunga tawhiti. I uru ia ki tētahi hononga ki tētahi hoa mahi kua whakarerea e ia i te wā e hapu ana tana wahine i tana tamahine tuarua. I mutu tana marena me tana wahine i te wehenga i te wā i kotahi tau te roa o te marena o tana tamahine tuarua. He wahine kaha rawa tana wahine o mua, ā, kāore ia i tango i tētahi paisa hei utu tautoko. I whakarite hoki ia kia mōhio te katoa o te whānau ki tana hara, me te kore e tangi pēpi. Kua tata ki te toru tau i muri i te aituā, ā, kāore taku whanaunga i tae atu ki tētahi o ngā huihuinga whānau tae noa ki tēnei wā. He tokoiti noa iho ngā tāngata i tae atu ki tana marena tuarua. Mena koinei te tikanga o te whakaiti i te aroaro o te iwi, āe, e whakaae ana ahau. Kia tutuki ai tēnei, me whakapakari tātou i te patunga. Me whakamārama tātou i te patunga kāore he mea he hei whakama i tōna taha. He āhuatanga tēnei o te hunga tinihanga ki te whai wāhi ki ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena.
Ka taka te tangata i te aroha. He pai ake ki ahau te noho i te oranga pono, kaua ki te whakapau moni ki ngā kōrero teka. Kāore te whakarere i te kino rawa. I roto i te wā poto ka puta he mamae nui, engari ki taku whakaaro he pai ake te noho pēnei i te whakaoho i ngā rau mamae i ia rā. Kāore he pai o te piri ki te marena kore aroha. Kāore te kanohi ki te kanohi e whakaiti i te mamae, engari ka puta he ahuareka nanakia. Ki te hiahia kia ora ngā patunga, me tautoko koe i te tangata i pāngia. Kāore au i te mōhio mēnā kua mātakitaki koe i te kiriata tawhito a Arth. E whakaatu ana ki a tātou ko te utu pai mō te hara ko te noho harikoa i tō oranga.
I roto i tēnei pūrākau, e ngana ana te wahine ki te rere i roto i ngā poti e rua, ā, he mea tēnei e kinongia ana e au.
Kia ora Sandip:
Ka ngana ahau ki te whakarāpopoto.
1. Me he hoa ahau nōu, ā, i tinihanga taku wahine, ā, i kitea e au me ngā taunakitanga, kua tino whakarite ahau kia kore e taea e ia te ora me tōna mana i te toenga o tōna oranga. He huarahi hei mahi i tēnā. Āe, ka tino whakarerea ia e au. He nanakia? Āe pea (?). Engari me rapu utu ahau hei whakamarie i tōku wairua. Ki te tinihanga ahau, ka tumanako ahau ki te rite tonu ki te kino o te mahi. E mōhio ana te kaiwhakatuma ka mate ia - he rite tonu te whakaaro ki konei - me whakaititia te tangata tinihanga i te aroaro o te iwi.
2. He mea pai ki ahau te tauira o te peia atu o tō whanaunga. Heoi, he nui atu i tērā taku rapu utu. He maha atu aku huarahi paru hei whakaiti, hei whakamataku rānei i taua tangata kino. Whakaarohia te mahi a tana wahine o mua ki tētahi tamāhine kotahi tau te pakeke. Kei te mihi atu ahau ki a ia.
3. He kōrero teka te aroha. Kāore e tika ana kia noho mārena tonu. Ki te kore, kua roa kē ahau e whakarere ana. Ki taku titiro, kia noho mārena tonu ai i roto i te whanaungatanga kotahi te hoa rangatira, me noho ēnei:
(a) te tata ā-tinana
(b) te whakahoahoa me te aroha
(c) WHAKAPONO
Ahakoa ngā kaumātua pēnei i ahau kei te tata ki te rima tekau tau, he tata tonu ō rātou tinana, engari kāore i rite ki tētahi taiohi 25 tau te pakeke. Me whai hoa aroha koe ki tō hoa rangatira, me te kōrero pono. Me aroha ia. Me whakawhirinaki kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, he roa te wā ki te whakawhanake i te whakawhirinaki. Ka pakaru ngā marena ina memeha te whakawhirinaki. Ko te aroha – ki taku titiro i roto i ngā huihuinga maha – he āhuatanga rangitahi, ā, kāore e taea te matapae. Kāore e taea te matapae i te marena. Nō reira, he para te hinganga o te aroha. Tērā pea kei te pohehe koe ki te aroha nui. Nō reira, ki te mea tetahi kua hinga ia i te aroha, ko te tikanga kei te aroha ia ki tētahi atu. I te nuinga o te wā ka pakaru ngā marena nā te mea he kaha rawa te mana o te aroha nui, ā, ka hinga te hoa tinihanga.
Ki te whakaaro koe he mea maori tō whanaungatanga ki a Anuj, he aha koe te kore ai e whakapuaki ki tō whānau me tō hoa pai rawa atu? Ki te mea he mea maori, me āta whakaaro te katoa. Nā te mea kāore koe e whakapuaki ana, e mōhio ana koe ehara i te mea maori, ā, me huna e koe. Ki te mōhio tō tāne ki tēnei, he whanaungatanga tuwhera tēnei, ā, kāore he raruraru mōku. Ki te mahi koe i tēnei i muri i te tuara o tō tāne, he TINIHANGA.
I roto i tōku reo taketake, he kīwaha tēnei. He rite tonu te whakamāoritanga ki tēnei. Me āwangawanga te hunga e mau ana i ngā tueke i a rātou e haere ana. I mua, kāore āu tueke, nō reira ka taea e koe te noho ko koe anake, me te kī atu he mea nui. Engari ināianei, nā te mea kei a koe ngā tueke, kāore e taea e tō hinengaro hara te mahi i tēnā, nō reira kua noho koe hei kaiwhakarongo manawanui. I tētahi ara, kei te tinihanga koe i a koe anō.
Ki te kaituhi me ētahi atu mema o tēnei pae: he tohu pōhēhē tonu tā koutou pae. I tētahi wāhi ka hoatu e ngā kaitohutohu he tohutohu hei whakamutu i ngā hononga ki waho o te marena, me te arotahi ki te marena. I tētahi atu wāhi i raro i tēnei wāhanga ka whakanuia e koutou ngā hononga ki waho o te marena.
Kotahi taku kupu ki a koe. Ko ngā mahi moepuku i tua atu i te marena he tinihanga, ā, he mea utu nui te pono, kāore e taea te tumanako mai i te hunga utu iti.
He tino pai te kōrero a Sandip. Kāore he raruraru ki ahau mēnā, pērā i tāu i kī ai, i whakakitea e te wahine tana moe tāne ki tāna tāne, ā, i whakaae rāua tokorua. Kāore tēnā e tupu ana i konei, engari e tumanako ana ēnei wāhine kore āhua ki te whakaute mō tā rātou mahi.
Ehara i te mea ko ngā wāhine anake te hunga hara, engari ko ngā tāne anō hoki. E taea e au te tatau i ngā wā i pakaru ai ngā oranga nā te mahi tinihanga a ngā tāne. Engari, kāore tēnā e whakatau i te take.
Me i kitea he huarahi hei whakama i ēnei kaipahua ki te marea, tera pea he ārai tēnā. Engari nā te mea e whakaute ana te hapori i te tūmataitinga, kei te haere tonu te tukino i te herekoretanga.
Kāore e roa ka kore te whakawhirinaki i waenganui i te tāne me te wahine.
Kia ora Deb,
Ngā mihi nui mō āu mihi. Kāore au i te whakaae ki tāu kōrero mō te whakaiti i te tūmatanui o ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena. I ngā whenua o te Waenganui Rawhiti ka taea te whiu mō te puremu engari kei te tupu tonu ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena i reira. Ko tāku i whakaaro ai, he tangata mōrearea tātou, ā, he mea whakamatautau te hua rāhui. Waihoki, ka taea e tātou te taka ki raro i ngā āhuatanga. Nō reira, ehara te whakaiti i te tūmatanui i te otinga.
Ko tāku i mārama ai i roto i te kōrero, ko tōna mokemoke te take i mahi ai ia i tēnei mahi hē. Engari i te whiriwhiri i te ara hē o te tinihanga, me whai ia i te ara o te pono ki te kōrero ki tana tāne hei whakatau i ngā rerekētanga.
He kawenga kei roto i te marena. Nā te mea kāore he kawenga o ngā mahi moepuku, ka ātaahua ake te āhua.
Mena he kōrero pono tēnei, kei te ngana te kaituhi ki te whakatenatena i tōna hinengaro hara mō te hara i mahia e ia. Ko te tumanako ka mōhio ia ki tana hapa, ā, ka pono ia ki a ia anō mai i tēnei wā.
Kāore, e Sandip. He hē tāu whakataurite. I te Rawhiti o Waenganui, he whakamatenga tūmatanui nā te puremu e ai ki te ture Sharia. He tika tāu, i te Rawhiti o Waenganui, ka puta ēnei hara o te hiahia; heoi, he iti noa iho te maha o aua "hara" ki te whakataurite ki ngā mea e tupu ana i te Hauāuru rīperare. Nā te mea kāore he momo whakama tūmatanui i roto i te umanga. Ki te pakaru tō pūtea, ka taea e koe te noho hei rawakore i te tiriti. Engari i te Hauāuru, ki te uru koe ki te puremu, ka taea e koe te tapu nā te mea e kiia ana he whai wāhi ki tētahi kēmu mōrearea e whakaatu ana i te taha maia me te ataahua. Kaua e wareware ko taua whakaaturanga o te hiahia ka taea te whakangaro i te oranga o ō whanaunga me ō whanaunga, ko rātou pea te kawenga. Koia te take e tata ana ki te 53% o ngā hononga ture (tae atu ki ngā marena) ka mutu ki te whakarere i te Hauāuru rīperare.
Mehemea i tika kia āraihia ēnei whanonga hē, hē hoki, he whakama tūmatanui tēnā. Ki te kore, ka mawhiti te hoa tinihanga (pakeke) mā te whakamahi i te ariā o te whiriwhiri takitahi me te herekore, me te mōhio hoki he haere tahi te herekore me te kawenga i te pakeketanga.
Hei whakamutunga, me te whakaute katoa, he mahi tinihanga noa iho tēnei whakapae mō te mokemoke me ērā atu mea. Me whakamahi te tangata pakeke i te pehi i a ia anō. Hei tauira, ka taea e te tangata te hokohoko i ngā taonga me ngā taonga papai, engari kāore e taea e taua whakaaturanga taonga te waiho hei take hei whakamana i te whakamatautauranga ki te tahae i aua mea.
Kaua e māharahara ki aku whakahe mēnā he pā kino ki a koe.
Kia ora Deb
Kāore au e māharahara ki ngā whakahē, nā te mea ka homai he āhuatanga hou ki ahau hei whakaaroaro māku, mā te homai hoki i ngā tirohanga hou. Nō reira kia koa, kāore au i te riri.
Ko tāku i kī ai, ehara te whiu mō te puremu i te ārai i ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena. Heoi anō, ka taka te tangata ki ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena hei whakangahau, hei mahi mōrearea rānei, hei mahi rānei mā ngā āhuatanga. He mahi whakama te moepuku i roto i te hapori Inia, ā, ki te mau i a ia e moepuku ana, ka waiho hei whakama i te aroaro o te iwi. Ko te raruraru o te whakama i te aroaro o te iwi, he whakaae whānui ki ngā tāngata whanoke e huna ana i a rātou anō hei pirihimana matatika ki te kuhu ki roto i te rūma moe o ētahi atu. Ka rite tonu ki te manaakitanga a bhasmasura.
Kāore au i te whakamārama i te mahi moepuku hei mokemoke. Mēnā i tirohia e koe taku kōrero, ka kite koe i taku kōrero, mēnā ko te mokemoke te take o tana mahi hē, me i whiriwhiri ia i te ara tika o te kōrero ki tana tāne, kaua i te whiriwhiri i te ara o te moepuku.
Kia ora Sandip;
Kāore au i te whakaae ki a koe mō te take ārai. Mā te whakatū whakama i te aroaro o te marea, e kore e taea e tātou te whakakore i ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena. Engari he ārai kaha rawa atu. He kaha ake i ngā whiu tinana o te Rawhiti o Waenganui – te kōhatu, te tapahi upoko rānei. Ko te take, ka mau tonu te whakama i te aroaro o te marea mō te oranga katoa ki te tangata puremu, ki te wahine puremu rānei. I ia rā ka maumaharatia ia ki te hara i mahia e ia. He pai ake taua taumahatanga hinengaro i te mauherehere, i ētahi atu momo whiu tinana rānei.
Mō te whakahaere matatika a ētahi rōpū iti, he tika tetahi wāhanga o tāu. Heoi, mā taua wehi anō hoki e ārai i ngā mahi moepuku i waho o te marena.
E tautoko ana ahau i te whakama me te whakahāwea i te aroaro o te marea, kaua ki te mauherehere mēnā he mahi tinana kē atu (e tupu ana i te Middle East). Ko te take he rite tonu te "whiu" ki te hara tinihanga o te marena. Pērā i te kaikōhuru, i te kaiwhakatuma rānei ka taea te whiu mate mō te tango i te ora o te hunga harakore, te wawahi i te whakawhirinaki o te hoa me te whakangaro i a ia i te taha morare, he hara ōrite te taumata o te kare ā-roto. Pērā i te hunga hara e noho ana i runga i te rarangi mate, e whakarite ana i te hinengaro mō te whakamatenga, me waiho te pēhanga hinengaro kia whakama rawa te hoa hara e hiahia ana, e puremu ana, kia mate ai tōna wairua.
Hei whakamutunga, e tino whakapono ana ahau *ki te atawhai koe i te hunga kino, ka mutu ka kino koe ki te hinengaro.*
Ahakoa rā, koinā taku tirohanga. Ngā mihi mō te whai wāhi mai.
He miharo tonu ahau! He tino kore whakama koe, nā te mea ko koe te whaea o ngā tamariki tokorua, ā, kei te āta moe tahi koe me te tāne a tō hoa rangatira a Aruna, ā, kāore tō tāne rāua ko Aruna i te mōhio? Ā, tirohia te kore whakama o koe: e mōhio ana koe kei te moe tāne koe i tua atu i te marena, e ai ki ngā tikanga katoa o te hapori, ā, e riri ana koe kei te titiro kino te hapori ki ēnei momo mahi? He aha ngā mea i whakaakona e ō mātua ki a koe?
Kua takahia e koe ngā oati o te marena – e tumanakohia ana kia kotahi te tāne me te wahine i waenganui i ngā hoa tokorua. Ki te uaua ki te pupuri i tēnei momo here o te kotahi te tāne me te wahine, me whakarere kōrua, kātahi ka moe tāne ki a Anuj.
Engari nā te kore e pena, kua tinihanga koe i tō hoa rangatira a Aruna me tō tāne. Kāore au i te mōhio mehemea kāore e taea te kī he wahine kairau koe.
He pātai noa iho tēnei: he mea noa tēnei i Īnia – te moe tāne me te wahine – he mea kāore i rangona i ngā tau 33 ki muri i taku hekenga ki te Hauāuru? He wahine kairau te nuinga o ngā wāhine kua moe tāne i Īnia?
Ae, he wahine kairau rātou. Ko te mea e whakararuraru ana i ahau, e kiia tonutia ana ngā wāhine Īnia he hunga tapu. Whakapono mai, he wahine kairau ēnei wāhine. I ia hēkona ka moe tāne ngā wāhine, ā, e kiia tonutia ana he hara ngā tāne.
Kāre au i te mōhio he aha te nui o te pono kei roto i tēnei kōrero, engari i muri i te pānui i tō whakatau mō te nuinga o ngā wāhine Īnia, kotahi te mea e tino mōhiotia ana ehara i te mea he kuiti noa tō hinengaro engari he kī tonu hoki i te paru me te para.
He kuiti tōku hinengaro nā te mea kāore au e tautoko i ngā wāhine kāinga e puremu ana? I pātai atu ahau i tēnei hei pātai, ehara i te whakapae whānui. Ki te mea he kuiti tōku hinengaro i te pātai i taua pātai, kāore he aha.
Tanmoy,
E mārama ana tō wehi me ō pōuri. Engari e rua ngā huarahi pea e whai hua ai:
1. Me haina he whakaaetanga i mua i te marena ki runga i tētahi pepa tānga ture.
2. Ki te takahi tetahi o ngā hoa, tetahi rānei o rāua i te puremu, ka whakama tetahi, tetahi rānei o rāua i te aroaro o te marea.
Kua tautohe ētahi mō te whakama i te aroaro o te marea. Engari ki ahau nei, ko te tuku i ēnei momo hapa kia puta he tauira hē rawa atu: te whakaae ki ngā whanonga kore kawenga me te hē i raro i te tinihanga o te herekore whaiaro me ngā mana tūmataiti.
Ki te mea ka noa te whakama i te aroaro o te iwi, kāore he wāhi e huna ai ngā kanohi o te hunga tinihanga.
Ko te hara e mea ana kia kōrero pai koe ki tāu tāne, ko te hara e mea ana kia pātai atu koe ki a ia mō tana mahi i kinongia e koe i mua. Ko tāku tumanako ka moe tāne koe, ki te kore ka moe tahi rāua ko Aruna, kia manaakitia tō whānau e te Atua.