20 Ngā Pānga Hinengaro o te Noho hei Wahine

Mō ngā take o te ngākau, kāore e taea te whiriwhiri i ētahi ture puta noa i ngā ahurea me ngā whenua. Hei tauira, ko te tinihanga, ko te whanoke rānei tētahi o ngā hara kino rawa atu o te whanaungatanga ka taea e te tangata te mahi. Heoi, ahakoa ko te aroha ki te tangata e tinihangatia ana te tikanga, he iti noa iho te hunga e kōrero ana mō te tūnga tuatoru o te whanaungatanga me ngā pānga hinengaro o te noho hei wahine kē atu i roto i te tinihanga.

I kōrero mātou Sushma Perla, kaiako NLP, me te kaiārahi hei whakamārama i te tirohanga a te wahine kē. He aha ētahi tohutohu hei whakatau i te mamae o te noho hei hoa wahine? Ka ngaro atu rānei te hara o te tinihanga? Anei tāna, "Ko te pono, kāore e taea e tetahi te whakatau i ngā mea e tupu ana i roto i te marena. He aha te take e aroha ai te tangata pono ki tētahi atu tangata, ā, he aha te āhua o te mamae o te noho hei hoa wahine? Kua hinga kē pea te marena, ā, kei te whakapaetia te hoa wahine mō te kore take. Ko te mea nui, he uaua ake ēnei āhuatanga i tā tātou e whakaaro nei," Me mārama tātou ki te take.

He aha te āhua o te noho hei wahine kē?

"Mai anō i ngā wā o mua, kua whakaititia, kua whakaititia hoki te whakataukī 'wahine kē'," te kī a Sushma. "He iti noa ngā kōrero mō te aro atu ki te mamae o te ngākau "mō te noho hei hoa wahine, mō te āhua rānei o te wahine kē atu. Kia mahara, he maha ngā wā ka tino kino ki te hauora hinengaro me te hauora kare ā-roto o te wahine."

Hei tauira, ko tētahi o ngā tapatoru aroha rongonui o ngā wā tata nei – ko te marena pōuri a Lady Diana ki a Prince Charles me te aroaro o tana wahine o nāianei, a Camilla, i roto i te whārite. "Tokotoru ngā tāngata i roto i tēnei marena" koinei te kōrero rongonui a Diana i roto i tētahi uiuinga e whakahuatia tonutia ana i tēnei rā.

Ahakoa i toa a Diana i ngā ngākau o te miriona o te ao hei rangatira e mamae ana, i whakaatuhia a Camilla i roto i te nuinga o ngā pukapuka, ngā tuhinga, me ngā kiriata i roto i te tirohanga tino kino. Ka whakaaro aunoa te ao ko te wahine kē te tangata kino i roto i te pūrākau. Kāore mātou e mutu ki te whakaaro, "He aha ngā kare ā-roto o te wahine kē ina kitea e te wahine, ā, ka tapaina ia (te rangatira wahine) he kaiwhakangaro kāinga?"

Ko Susanne, he kaiwhakahaere hokohoko 39-tau te pakeke i hinga i mua e aroha ana ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, i whakapuaki i ōna tirohanga mō tēnei take. "I roto ahau i tētahi wā uaua i tōna taenga mai ki roto i tōku ao. I mōhio ahau he pūmau ia engari i whakaahua tonu ia i tana marena he koretake. Kāore au i te mōhio kei te whakapohehe ia i te pono. I te mutunga ka mōhio ahau ko au te wahine kē atu i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore ia e kite nui ana i ahau. I te mutunga o te rā, ka aroha ana ki tana wahine. "

"I te wā i tino mōhio ai ahau ki taku i uru atu ai, kua tino uru atu ahau ki roto. Ae, i roto ahau i te aroha, ā, i whakahengia tonutia ahau e te katoa. I te mutunga ka pakaru te whanaungatanga. Ina wehe atu te tāne kua moe i tana wahine rangatira, ka 'murutia' ia e tana wahine, ā, ka mahue te wahine rangatira me te ingoa kino. Kāore tetahi e whakaatu ana i te aroha ki te āhua o te wahine kē atu ina hoki ia ki tana wahine, ka mahue te wahine kē atu i kī ia e arohaina ana e ia mō ngā tau. Heoi anō te aroha," te tāpiri a Susanne.

I roto i ngā āhuatanga maha pērā i a Susanne, ko te mamae o te noho hei wahine kē he rite tonu te mamae, ki te kore e kino atu, i te tinihanga i pā ki te wahine. Ahakoa he rerekē te ahotea mō ngā wāhine e rua, kāore tetahi o ngā āhuatanga i te iti iho te mamae. Kia mārama tātou ki te hinengaro o te noho hei wahine rangatira.

20 Ngā Pānga Hinengaro o te Noho hei Wahine

I te nuinga o ngā wā o te puremu, ko te tangata e whiwhi ana i te mutunga o te momo whakatau kino rawa atu ko te wahine hinga i roto i te aroha ki tētahi tāne pūmau. (He mea miharo, he ngāwari ake te tuku i te tāne kia mawhiti, ahakoa ko ia te tangata nāna i tinihanga. Engari he kōrero anō tēnā). I roto i te whakaaro rongonui, he tino noa iho ngā āhuatanga o te wahine kē. E whakaatuhia ana ia he tangata hiahia, he tangata hiahia, he piripono, ā, kāore e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o te wahine. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Ka roa rānei ngā whanaungatanga e whati ai te marena?

Ko te mea pono, me manawanui te wahine ki ngā kōrero whakatoi me ngā kōrero mauahara, me te tumanako ka watea tana tāne i ana mahi kino ā tōna wā. te faaipoiporaa pouri ā, whiriwhiria ia. Engari anō, ko te kore o te māia o tēnei tumanakohanga e kore ai ia e moe i te pō. Anei te pānga o te noho hei hoa 'kore ture' ki te wahine:

1. He nui te hara

"Ko tētahi o ngā pānga hinengaro nui rawa atu o te noho hei wahine kē ko te kaha o te hara," te kī a Sushma. "Mēnā he tangata tairongo koe, he tangata kare ā-roto hoki, ka pā nui te hara ki a koe, ka whakapono ko koe anake te take o te pakaru o te marena."

Nā, he aha te āhua o te moe tahi me te tāne kua mārenatia? Manukanuka. Whakahē. Kāore i te tino whakatau. He pakanga mutunga kore i waenganui i te rewera me te anahera e noho ana i runga i tō pakihiwi. Ahakoa e whakamahara ana tētahi wairua ki a koe 'he tika ngā mea katoa i roto i te aroha me te pakanga', ko tētahi atu wairua e kī ana ko koe te tangata kino.

E kore rawa te hara e tuku i a koe kia kia pai ki ngā mea tuatahi o te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga te āhua i whakaritea ai rātou. Ka noho tonu te whakaaro pōuri e kore rawa te hapori, ō hoa, me te whānau e whakaae katoa ki te whanaungatanga, ahakoa e tautoko ana rātou i a koe. Hei tāpiri, me noho tonu koe ki te whakakahore i te pānga o tō whanaungatanga roa ki te wahine, ki te whānau rānei, ka taea e tēnei te whakanui ake i te hara.

2. Ka taea e ngā kēmu hinengaro te whakangenge i a koe, ā, ka whakararuraru anō hoki i a koe

I te tīmatanga, he tino whakahihiri te āhua o te harikoa o te aroha tapu, ā, koinei pea tāu whakautu ki te pātai, "He aha ahau i pai ai ki te noho hei wahine kē?" Ko te harikoa o te whakamatautauranga me te huna i ngā mea anake ngā painga o aua whakaritenga. Ka pā mai te kare o taua hihiri ki a koe engari ina memeha haere te hihiri, ā, ka... tino raruraru Kia puta mai, ka tino hoha te tinihanga me ngā kōrero teka e hiahiatia ana hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga.

Me teka tonu te tāne – ki tōna whānau, ki a koe rānei, ā, ka tīmata anō koe ki te kore e pai ki tēnā i roto i te wā. Ka whakamārama a Grace i te take i wehe ai ia i a ia. "Kāore au i te tino mōhio mēnā he pono ia ki ahau, ki tō māua hononga rānei. Ka kī ia he motuhake ahau engari kāore au i te mea nui ki a ia. Whai muri i ngā tau maha o te ārahitia, ko te tuku i a ia te mea tika hei mahi māku ake."

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te tīmata i te whakaipoipo: Ngā Tohutohu mō te hunga tīmata me te hunga e tīmata anō ana

3. Tērā pea ka puta he raruraru whakawhirinaki ki a koe

Ina aroha koe ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, kua piripono rānei ki tētahi tāne, e mōhio ana koe ki te mea whakarihariha me huna tonu e koe, ahakoa pēhea. Ka taea e tēnei te arahi ki take whakawhirinaki nā te mea kei te tirotiro tonu koe i muri i a koe. Ka kitea rānei koe me ia? Ka kitea rānei e tetahi i te tari kei te pai kōrua tetahi ki tetahi? Ka tautuhia tonutia kōrua e ngā āhuatanga matua o te noho hei wahine kē atu i roto i tētahi hononga aroha?

Hei whakamutunga, ka ara ake te pātai nui rawa atu. Ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki ki tāu tāne? Ka whakaaro tonu koe mēnā kei te noho tahi ia me tana wahine i a ia e kore ana i a koe (tērā pea kei te noho tahi ia). Ka tīmata koe ki te hae ahakoa i mōhio koe ki te noho o te 'wahine' i roto i te pikitia.

Te pānui e pā ana: E te wahine a te tāne tinihanga, koinei te take kāore au e whakama

4. E wehi ana koe i tō whakatau

Wareware ki te whakawhirinaki ki ētahi atu, ka tīmata koe ki te pātai i tō whakaaro me te whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō ki te whakatau tika, ā, koinei te mamae tūturu o te noho hei wahine kē. E kōrero ana a Sushma mō te take o tētahi kiritaki i tino pāngia i muri i tana noho hei wahine kē mō ngā tau, kātahi ka whakarērea. "I hoatu e ia ōna mea katoa, ā, i tatari mō ngā tau me te tumanako ka whakamanahia te whanaungatanga. "

"Engari, i whiriwhiria e tana tāne tana wahine i a ia ahakoa ōna kare ā-roto e kore e taea te whakakorekore mōna. He tino mamae tēnei, ā, i whaki mai ia ki ahau i whakapae ia i tana kore whakaaro pai mō te tūranga i kitea e ia. Ina wehe atu te tāne kua moe wahine i tana hoa rangatira, ka nui te mamae mōna," tana kī. He maha ngā wā ka roa te mamae o te ngākau i te noho hei wahine kē. Nō reira, ka roa pea te tukanga whakaora i muri i te noho hei wahine kē, ā, kāore he ara tika. Tērā pea ka mangere koe ki te tono āwhina nā te whakama, ā, ahakoa ka pērā koe, tera pea ka whiwhi koe i te whakahē me te mauahara hei utu mō te aroha.

5. Ka taea e te pēhanga o te huna te whakapouri

Te pēhanga tonu o te pupuri i tētahi hononga ngaro tera pea tētahi o ngā pānga hinengaro tino whakamataku o te noho ko te wahine kē. 

• Tērā pea ka karangahia tō tūnga pāpāho pāpori he takakau koe, engari ko te pono ehara koe i te takakau.
• Kāore e taea e koe te kitea i te aroaro o te marea, kāore hoki e taea e koe te mahi i ētahi atu mea e mahia ana e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine noa.
• Me tito kupu whakamārama koe ina ngana ana tētahi hoa, tētahi mema rānei o te whānau ki te whakatū hoa mōu

I te pātaitanga atu mō te āhua o te noho hei wahine kē, i kī mai tētahi kaipānui ko Sophia (ingoa kua hurihia) ki a mātou, "Kāore rawa ahau e rite ki ahau anō i ēnei rā. Mai i te huna i ngā karere kuputuhi ki te kore e taea te tuku pikitia ki ngā pāpāho pāpori, he tino pono te mamae o te noho hei wahine kē. Tērā pea he iti noa iho ēnei mea i te tīmatanga engari ka taea e rātou te mea kei te kore tō whanaungatanga e tū."

He aha ngā whakaaro o te wahine kē atu mō tana wahine? E whakaaro ana te tangata kāore ia e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o tana wahine, engari he rerekē rawa tēnā i te pono. He maha ngā wā, ka pāngia ngā wāhine e ēnei āhuatanga e te hara nui i te whakaaro ki te wahine me te whānau ka whara pea nā ia. Ā, kei reira anō tētahi raruraru nui kāore koe i kite kei te haere mai. Me noho puku tonu ō hararei, ō hararei, me ētahi atu mahi noa me tāu tāne. I runga i te pāpori me te pāpāho pāpori, me kite tonu pea koe i ngā whakaahua o ia me tōna whānau. Ka mamae pea te ngākau i te katoa.

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu Ka Hoki Anō Koe Ki Tō Hoa O Mua

6. Tērā pea ka pau tō manawanui

Ka tino ako koe ki te manawanui ina tae mai ki te whai wāhi atu ki, ki te whakaipoipo i tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, kua piripono rāneiTērā pea he rerekē ngā āhuatanga mēnā ehara i te hononga roa engari he hononga kotahi noa iho, engari ki te uru koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia me te tumanako ka whakarere ia i tana wahine, ka whakarē rānei i tana hoa piripono, ka roa te tatari.

Ina koa mēnā he kāinga tahi tā te tāne me tana wahine, ā, he tamariki anō hoki āna, tērā pea kāore e taea e ia te motu katoa i a rāua. Mō te pai ki ngā tamariki, me noho tonu ia. Kāore ngā whanaungatanga hōhonu e ngāwari ki te motu, nō reira me tatari noa koe. Engari kia pēhea te roa?

I kōrero mai a Chloe (ingoa kua hurihia), he kairīpoata nō New Delhi ki a mātou, "Ko au te wahine kē atu i roto i tētahi hononga engari kua hoha ahau ki te noho pēnā. Kei te taumaha tonu i roto i tōku hinengaro, ā, ko te tatari kia whakarērea e taku hoa tāne tana wahine, kia noho tahi māua mō te toenga o tōna oranga, he rite ki tētahi moemoeā tawhiti e kore e tutuki. He maha āna kōrero mai ki ahau ka whakarērea e ia, engari ka whakautu tonu ia i āna waea ina moe ia i tōku kāinga mō te pō. Ki taku whakaaro kāore e taea e au te noho pēnei i ēnei rā."

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7. Ka taea te whakararu i te hinengaro me te tinana

Ko tētahi o ngā pānga hinengaro o te noho hei wahine kē, ko te whakama, te pēhanga, me te kore māia ka pā ki te tinana me te hinengaro. Tērā pea ka riri koe ki te tangata i tūtaki koe, ka riri rānei koe ki a koe anō.

"Ko tētahi o ngā tino take mō te riri, he iti noa iho te tautoko e kitea ana e koe mō āu mahi. He iti noa iho te ōrau o ngā mahi ā-ira e huri ana hei hononga roa, hei marena hou rānei." Ngā mahi moepuku mō te wa katoa "he onge ake te kitea, koia te take kāore he painga o te noho hei wahine kē atu," te kī a Sushma. "He rite ki te whakauru ki tētahi hākinakina me te mōhio ka hinga koe. Ki te kore koe e tino mārama ki ō whāinga, ka pau tō kaha i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, ā, koinei tonu te āhua o te noho hei wahine kē atu."

8. Ka pā ki tō whakapono ki a koe anō me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō

E mōhio ana koe ko koe tana mea ngaro iti, he mea e tino whakama ana pea ia. Ahakoa ōna kare ā-roto mōu, i te mutunga, ka ngana ia ki te tiaki i tōna ingoa i mua i te hapori, ā, ka whakatairanga i tōna ake whānau. I a koe e kore e kaha ki te whakatenatena i a ia kia wehe atu i te marena, ka tīmata koe ki te pātai i tōu mana ake.

Ko tētahi āhuatanga noa o te hinengaro o te noho hei hoa wahine ko te memeha haere o te whakapono ki a ia anō. E ai ki te kōrero i mua ake nei, i ngā wā katoa kua kitea te mahi taiharaKo te hoa mahi moepuku te tangata e whiua nuitia ana. Ka taea e koe te noho mārire mō taua mea, engari ko te whakapaetia tonutia me te whakahēngia (me te kore e whakahua i te kōrero kino me te kōrero pakiwaitara e puta ake ana i roto i ngā porowhita pāpori) ka pā ki tō whakapono ki a koe anō i roto i ētahi atu āhuatanga o te ao. Tērā pea ka pā ki tō mahi me tō whakaaro ki a koe anō.

9. Tērā pea ka noho mokemoke koe i te taha pāpori 

Ko te noho hei wahine kē atu ka taea te pana i a koe ki te noho mokemoke. Ko te huna o te whanaungatanga me te wehi o te whakawakanga ka aukati i a koe ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro ki ngā hoa, ki te whānau rānei, ka waiho koe kia mokemoke. Ka taea hoki e koe te tīmata ki te karo i ngā āhuatanga pāpori hei ārai i ngā pātai, i ngā whakapae rānei. Ka taea e tēnei noho mokemoke te pā nui ki a koe Hauora hinengaro me te aronga toi whenuatanga.

E kī ana a Amelia, he kaiako, "Kāore i taea e au te kōrero ki ōku hoa, ki tōku whānau rānei mō te whanaungatanga. I pēnei ahau me te mea kāore he tangata hei tahuri atu māku, ā, he tino pāngia ahau e te mokemoke."

10. Tērā pea ka nui rawa tō whakawhirinaki ki a ia 

Nā te iti o ngā putanga kare ā-roto, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa anake mō te tautoko kare ā-roto. Ka taea e tēnei whakawhirinakitanga te hanga i tētahi āhua hauora kore. kaha hihiri, kei reira tō harikoa e herea katoatia ana ki tōna wātea me tōna aro. I roto i te wā, ka taea e tēnei taurite kore te waiho i a koe kia kore e kaha, kia mauheretia hoki. E whakamārama ana a Hannah, he kaihoahoa whakairoiro, "I whakawhirinaki ahau ki a ia i roto i ngā kare ā-roto nā te mea ko ia anake te tangata i mōhio ki te kōrero katoa. Engari nā taua whakawhirinakitanga i meinga ahau kia kore e kaha, kia mauheretia hoki."

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11. Ka taea e koe te whakawhanake i te manukanuka 

 Ko te ahotea tonu o te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga huna, me te koretake o tōna heke mai, ka arahi pea ki te manukanuka mau tonu. Mā te manukanuka kei kitea ia, mā te whakaaro nui rānei ki āna mahi ka puta he pō kore moe, tae atu ki ngā tohu tinana pērā i te ānini, te ngenge rānei. E kōrero ana a Kathy mō te huarahi i puta ai ngā whakaeke manukanuka tonu nā te mea huna. "I mataku ahau i ia wā ka tangi taku waea, me te whakaaro ko tana wahine pea kei te kite i te hononga."

12. Tērā pea ka huna e koe te whakama 

Ko te whakatau a te hapori te mea tino kaha ki te wahine kē, ā, i roto i te wā, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakapono ki ngā whakaaro kino mōu ake. Ka taea e tēnei whakama o roto whakaitihia tō whakaaro ki a koe anō ā, ka uaua ake te kite i a koe anō i runga i te pai. Ko Margaret, i moe tahi me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia i mua, e whakaae ana, "I uru mai te whakatau a te hapori ki roto i ōku ake whakaaro. I tīmata ahau ki te whakapono ko au te tangata kino, ahakoa i mōhio ahau ehara i te mea nāku anake te he o te whanaungatanga."

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13. Tērā pea ka waiho ō whāinga whaiaro hei muri 

Mā te arotahi ki tētahi whanaungatanga e ahua pau ana tō wā me tō kaha, ka taea e koe te wareware i ō ake wawata me tō tipu. Tērā pea ka kitea koe e patu ana i ngā whai wāhitanga whaiaro, mahi rānei, ka taea ai e koe te pouri i muri mai. E whakaae ana a Madison, "I whakakahoretia e au tētahi whakatairanga kia noho tahi māua ki te tāone kotahi. Ki te titiro whakamuri, i ahau nui rawa te patunga tapu mō tētahi i iti rawa tana i hoatu.”

14. Tērā pea ka raru koe i ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei 

Mā te noho hei wahine kē atu ka taea te waihanga i ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki pumau me ngā raruraru kare ā-roto ka mau tonu ki ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei. Tērā pea ka uaua ake ki a koe te whakawhirinaki, te whakatuwhera rānei i ō whakaaro ki tētahi hoa hou, i te wehi kei hoki anō ngā wheako o mua. E kī ana a Ava, "I muri i te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga, i uaua ki ahau te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi tangata hou. I whakaaro tonu ahau ka huna e ngā tāne katoa tētahi mea i ahau.”

15. Tērā pea ka pātaihia ō uara matatika 

He maha ngā wā ka pā kino te noho tahi me tētahi tāne kua mārenatia ki ngā paerewa matatika whaiaro, ā-iwi rānei. Ka taea e te tohetohe ki ēnei uara te arahi ki te pakanga nui o roto, i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakataurite i ō mahi ki ō whakapono. E whakaaro ana a Natalia, "I whawhai tonu ahau ki te hara, ā, i te mea kei te tinihanga ahau i aku ake uara. He pakanga tēnei kāore au e hiahia kia pā ki tētahi."

16. Tērā pea ka puta he wehi mō te whakapau kaha 

Ka taea e te kore pumau me te kore whakapau kaha i roto i te whanaungatanga te hanga i ō tirohanga mō te aroha me te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te hono i ngā whanaungatanga ki te koretake me te tinihanga, ka uaua ai te whakapau kaha ki tētahi atu.

Ki a Riley, ko te kore o te whakapau kaha i roto i a ia hononga o mua nā tēnei i whakaroa ai ia ki te hoki anō ki ngā whanaungatanga nui. "Kāore i taea e au te whakarērea te wehi kei whara anō ahau."

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Painga Huna o te Wehenga

17. Tērā pea ka whakaarohia e koe te whanaungatanga kia tino pai 

Mā te huna me te whakahihiri o te whanaungatanga ka nui ake te motuhake i tōna āhua tūturu. Mā tēnei whakaaro pai ka mau tonu tō wairua, ahakoa he mārama te āhua kino o te whanaungatanga. E whakaae ana a Shawna, "I piri tonu ahau ki te whakaaro o 'he aha te mea ka taea' kaua ki te aro atu ki te mooni o 'he aha te mea kei te tupu.' Nā te mea i mau tonu ahau i roto i te wawata mō te wā roa rawa."

18. Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te taumahatanga pūtea 

Ki te nui rawa tō takoha hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga, hei utu rānei mō tōna korenga e wātea mai, ka arahi pea tēnei ki taumahatanga pūtea. Mā te utu mō ngā haerenga huna, te utu rānei i ngā whakapaunga hei karo i te whakapae ka pā kino ki ahau. E kī ana a Charlotte, "I pau te nui o taku whakapaunga ki ngā haerenga huna me ngā koha hei pupuri i te whanaungatanga. I te mutunga, i pau katoa aku penapena, ā, i waiho ahau kia whakaaro kuware."

Te pānui e pā ana: Te hinga ki te aroha ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia? Anei te āhua o tō teka ki a koe anō!

19. Te pānga ki ngā whakahoahoa ā muri ake nei 

Ehara i te mea ko ō whanaungatanga aroha anake te pānga ki te noho hei wahine kē; ka pā anō hoki ki ō whanaungatanga. Ko te huna me te hara ka arahi i te noho mokemoke, ka uaua ai te pupuri i ngā hononga pono. Hei tāpiri, ko ngā hoa e kite ana i tō urunga ki tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei ka whakahe pea i a koe, ka arahi ki te pakaru, ki te pakaru rānei o ngā hononga.

Hei tauira, tirohia te kōrero a Beverly. "I te kitenga o taku hoa tata mō taku moepuku, ka mutu tana kōrero ki ahau. I mea ia kāore e taea e ia te tautoko i aku kōwhiringa, ā, he nui atu te mamae o tēnā i taku i whakaaro ai," te mahara o Beverly. I roto i te wā, ka kite ia i te nui o tana whakanui i te pono me te hononga i roto i ngā whakahoahoa. "I kaha ahau ki te hanga anō i taku porowhita pāpori me te hunga i tautoko i taku tipu, ā, i ako ahau ki te whakatairanga i ngā mea nui." korero tuwhera. "

Ko te whakatika me te atawhai i ngā whakahoahoa i muri i tētahi wheako pēnei me whai ngoikoretanga me te whakapau kaha, engari he taahiraa nui tēnei hei neke whakamua me te poipoi i tētahi pūnaha tautoko hei whakatairanga i a koe.

20. Tērā pea ka kaha ake koe i muri i te mutunga

Āe, he mea tino pono tēnei, he mea nui hoki hei mōhio mō te hinengaro o te noho hei hoa wahine. Nō reira, ki te pātai tetahi mō ngā painga o te noho hei wahine kē, koinei pea te mea anake. He ahua rerekē pea, engari ko tētahi o ngā hua pai o te noho hei wahine kē i roto i te whanaungatanga, ki te mea whakahaere pai i ō tumanakohanga, ka taea e ia te whakapakari ake i a koe. Engari ko te mea nui, me noho pono koe ki te āhuatanga, koinei te mea tino uaua ki te mahi. I roto a Sulochana J (ingoa kua hurihia), he tohunga waea, i tētahi hononga ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia, ā, e ai ki tāna i whakarerekētia ia e tēnei hei pai ake.

"Ko tētahi painga o te tīmata i tētahi whanaungatanga hei wahine kē atu, ko te tīmatanga me ngā hapa i te tuatahi. I mōhio ahau he tangata tinihanga te tāne i kite ahau. I ako hoki ahau ki te pupuri i aku tumanakohanga mai i te whanaungatanga kia iti rawa, nō reira i arotahi ahau ki ngā wā harikoa me ia. I mōhio ahau e kore rawa ia e homai ki ahau te herenga e tika ana māku. Nō reira i whakaaro ahau he whanaungatanga noa iho. Waihoki, i taea e au te tino pono ki a ia – nui atu i aku hoa tāne katoa – nā te mea i mōhio ahau e kore ia e whakahe i ahau," tana kī.

Me pēhea koe e whakatau ai i te noho hei wahine kē?

I tētahi ata ka ara ake koe, ka whakatau kua tae ki te wā kia mutu te noho hei wahine kē. 'He aha ahau i pai ai ki te noho hei wahine kē? He nui noa iho! E tika ana kia whiwhi ahau i te mea pai ake i tēnei,' ka mea koe i a koe e ara ake ana i te moenga. Ka kite koe kāore koe i te herenga ki te tuku i tō hauora hinengaro ki roto i tēnei reinga kare ā-roto. Nō reira, he aha te huarahi pai hei tīmata i te te tukanga whakaora ā, ka mutu tētahi hononga roa?

I ngā wā tino kino rawa atu, ina mutu te whanaungatanga pēnei i te pōuri, ka ngaro te tautoko me te aroha o te hoa rangatira me te hapori i te wahine kē. Tērā pea ka puta he āhuatanga me hiki ake e ia ōna tōkena ka hikoi whakamua me te maia ko ia anake. Anei ētahi huarahi hei whakangāwari ake i te neke whakamua:

1. Kaua e whakatoi i a koe anō

E ai ki a Sushma, ko te ture tuatahi o te whakaora ko te atawhai i a koe anō. "Kia pono tātou, ka whakawakia koe e te ao, nō reira kaua e tāpiri atu ki taua kōrero. Kia maumahara ehara koe i te wāhanga noa o tētahi hononga, he tangata koe e tika ana kia arohaina, ā, ko tāu i mahi ai he wāhanga o taua haerenga," tāna tāpiri.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te mea hei mahi ina kōrero tō tāne ki tētahi atu wahine

2. Okioki, e tika ana koe

E whakaatu ana a Olivia i muri i tana wehenga atu i tana hoa tāne kua mārena, ko te mea tuatahi i mahia e ia ko te okioki i te mahi me te oranga whaiaro.I hiahia ahau ki te wāhi "kia roa te whakaaro, nā te mea he tino mamae te ngākau o tēnei wheako katoa ki ahau. He tino kare ā-roto te katoa o te mahi me te mutunga, nō reira ko te huarahi anake hei wehe atu i ahau ko te mawhiti atu i te katoa mō tētahi wā," tana kī.

3. Rapua he tohutohu

Ka uaua haere ngā raruraru o tētahi whanaungatanga uaua (me te mamae o te ngākau i te noho hei wahine kē). Me āwhina koe kia puta ai i tēnei wāhanga uaua o tō oranga. Ā, koinei te wāhi ka whai wāhi ai te kaiārahi ki te whakaora i muri i te noho hei wahine kē.

Ahakoa te nui o te aroha o te hunga e karapoti ana i a koe ki a koe, ko te hunga kāore anō kia haere i roto i ō hu, e kore e mārama ki ō wheako. Koia te take ka taea e te āwhina ngaio te whakaora i a koe hei whakakore i tēnei raruraru kare ā-roto. Mena kei te raru koe i ō kare ā-roto, me whai whakaaro koe ki ngā kaitohutohu mohio me ngā tohunga ki te āwhina i a koe. Te rōpū tohutohu Bonobology kei konei mo koe.

4. Hurihia te arotahi mai i a ia ki a koe

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore e taea e koe te tuku i tō hoa aroha kua mārenatia, kua 'takohia' rānei, tera pea kei te whakaoho ia i ētahi kare ā-roto, i ētahi kare ā-roto rānei i roto i a koe. Tērā pea he tohu tēnei ehara i te tangata engari ko aua kare ā-roto te mea e piri nui atu ana koe. Arotahi ki a koe anō me ngā mea e tika ana kia mahia e koe hei whakatutuki i aua hiahia kare ā-roto mai i tētahi atu pūtake. Me mahi koe te aroha ki a koe anō hei whakaora i te mamae o te noho hei wahine kē.

5. Rapua te aroha pono

Ki te whakapoauau koe i te whakaari me te aroha, ka pouri tonu koe. Whakaaetia ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga o te noho hei 'wahine kē' ko te hiahia kia kukumea koe ki te whakaari. Engari, kia mōhio koe me hoatu e koe he whai wāhi ki a koe anō ki te kimi i tētahi whanaungatanga tūturu e whiwhi ai koe i ngā mea katoa e tika ana māu.

Thoughts Final

Ko te noho i roto i tētahi hononga ki tētahi tāne kua mārenatia he mea e whakatuwhera ana i a koe ki te mamae nui o te hinengaro nā te uaua o te āhuatanga. Ahakoa e mōhio ana koe ki ngā mahanga o te kukume ki ngā tāne pono, ka uaua tonu te haere i muri i tētahi wā. Ko te pātai me pātai koe ki a koe anō ko: kua rite koe mō tēnā, ā, he pai rānei?

I roto i te Aroha ki tētahi Wahine Kua Mārenatia

Kāore au i hiahia kia noho hei mea ngaro paru māna i ēnei rā

He aha ngā hua o te whanaungatanga i waenganui i te hunga kua mārenatia?

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.