He aha ngā tāne kua mārenatia e tinihanga ai? Kei te pōhēhē tonu te pātai i roto i te hinengaro o te tini o ngā wāhine e raru ana ki te mamae me te mamae o te tinihangatia. Ahakoa he ngāwari te whakaaro he rite te tinihanga ki ngā whakaaro pēnei i te "ka noho tāne tonu ngā tāne", ko te pono kei muri i te take e tinihanga ai ngā tāne i ā rātou wāhine he tino uaua ake. Nō reira, he aha ngā tāne kua mārenatia e tinihanga ai?
Mai i te riri me te mauahara ki ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, te hiahia moepuku, tae noa ki te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō – he maha ngā āhuatanga ka taea te whakapohehe i te tāne kua mārenatia. He mea nui kia kaua e whakaahuahia ngā mahi tinihanga katoa i roto i te mārenatanga me te paraihe kotahi, engari kia mārama ki ngā āhuatanga hohonu o tēnei āhuatanga.
Ahakoa kāore mātou e kī ana kāore ngā wāhine kua moe tāne e tinihanga, tatauranga e tohu ana he nui ake te tūponotanga o ngā tāne ki te tinihanga, ahakoa he moe pō kotahi noa iho, he moe tāne roa rānei. Kei a mātou tā mātou tohunga hinengaro Tākuta Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), he tohunga ki te tohutohu whanaungatanga me te Whakaora Whanoke Ā-roto hei āwhina i a tātou ki te kimi i ngā whakautu ki te pātai "He aha ngā tāne kua marena e tinihanga ai i ā rātou hoa rangatira?"
He aha ngā tāne kua mārenatia e tinihanga ai? 13 ngā take
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He mea whakamiharo, rangahau e kī ana ko te auau o te kore whakapono ki te neke atu i te 40%. Engari e ai ki te whakataukī, he kōwhiringa te tinihanga. Kāore he tangata e tino matapohia ana e te hiahia moepuku, e kore ai e mōhio ki te nui o te āhuatanga e pā ana ki a rātou. Heoi, he tokomaha ngā tāne e whai ana i tēnei ara. E ai ki tētahi rangahau a te American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 25% o ngā tāne kua moe tāne i uru ki te rangahau kua moe tāne ki waho o te mārenatanga. He tau nui tēnā, ā, e tohu ana i tērā tinihanga i roto i te marena he ia au, ehara i te he.
Tākuta Bhonsle e whakaae ana. "He maha ngā take me ngā āhuatanga mōrearea e pā ana. Ka taea e ngā take whanaungatanga me ngā take takitahi te whai wāhi ki te tinihanga a te tāne kua marenatia ki tana wahine," tana kī. He maha ngā take kei muri i te tinihanga nā te mea he uaua ngā whanaungatanga - me ngā tāngata kei roto. Engari ki te tirohia pai, ka puta ake ētahi take noa. Nō reira, he aha ngā tāne kua marenatia e tinihanga ai? I te nuinga o te wā, nā tētahi o ēnei take 13 kua whakarārangihia i raro nei. Nō reira, ki te mea he maha āu pātai, "Kei te tinihanga taku tāne?", me tirotiro koe i ēnei kōrero kia kitea ai mēnā kei te tinihanga ia:
Te pānui e pā ana: 12 Ngā Take e Whakaaroa Ana e Ngā Tāne Hei Tinihanga
1. Te hoha i roto i te marena
Tērā pea kei te hoha noa iho te tangata e tinihanga ana i roto i tētahi hononga. Te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga ā, ko te ora, i te nuinga o te wā, he tino mōrearea e pā mai ana i te pumau, te tau, me te noho hoa mō te oranga katoa. Ki te kore ngā hoa e rua e whakapau kaha ki te pupuri i te mura o te whanaungatanga, ka taea e tēnei kare o te hoha te whakatārewa i a rāua. Ā, ko tēnei tawhiti tonu te mea e hanga ana i te wāhi mō tētahi atu tangata kia uru mai ki te whārite.
E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ko te hoha e puta mai ana i ngā mahi o ia rā, me te kore o te harikoa i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka tino kaha te akiaki i te tāne ki te tinihanga i tana hoa rangatira. Ka nui ake te mōrearea mena kāore ia e tino piripono ana ki tana hoa rangatira." I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, ka puta mai te hoa moepuku hei haunga hou, e tuku ana i te harikoa e kitea ana e ia kāore i roto i tana whanaungatanga kua whakapumautia.
2. Ngā āwangawanga me te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō
He āhuatanga āwangawanga tō tātou katoa, ā, ka waiho tātou me te tirohanga whakarihariha ki a tātou anō. He maha ngā wā ka hono tata atu ēnei āwangawanga ki te iti o te whakaaro ki a tātou anō. He raruraru hinengaro uaua ēnei, ā, kāore e taea e te katoa te whakatau i aua mea i runga i te hauora. Nō reira, he maha ngā wā ka tahuri te tangata ki ngā whanonga rapu haumaru kino, pērā i te tinihanga. Anei ngā mea ka tupu i roto i ēnei āhuatanga:
- A te tangata e raru ana i te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō ā, ka tūpono pea te kore haumaru o te tangata ki te whakararu i tana whanaungatanga pumau nā te mahi moepuku i waho o te marena, nā te maha rānei o ngā hononga moepuku i waho o tana marena hei whakatutuki i te hiahia mō te wā poto nei e tukuna ana e ēnei wheako.
- Mā te hiahia me te hiahia o tētahi atu wahine ka meinga ia kia whakaaro he tika, he pai hoki ki a ia anō, ā, ka taea e taua whakamana te akiaki i te tāne ki te whakararu i te pumau o tana whanaungatanga kua whakapumautia ki tana hoa rangatira me tōna whānau.
I tana kōrero mō tēnei take, i kī te tohunga hinengaro Pragati Surekha i kōrero i mua ki a Bonobology, "Ka pāngia pea te hinengaro o te tangata tinihanga e ētahi kare ā-roto o te koretake. Ina kite te tangata kei te hapa ia i tētahi wāhanga o tōna ao, ka taea e ia te whakakapi mā te rapu whakamana mai i tētahi atu wāhi, nā te mea he huarahi ngāwari ake tēnei hei whakatika i ōna ngoikoretanga."
Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Momo Āwangawanga i roto i te Hononga, me te Pānga ki a Koe
3. Te marena kore-ira tangata, te whakakorenga ā-ira tangata rānei
Ko tētahi o ngā whakautu tino noa ki te pātai "He aha ngā tāne kua marenatia e tinihanga ai?" ko te kore moepuku. Ko te ngā pānga o te marena kore ira tangata ki te tāne ka taea te hohonu, inā koa ka puta i te tīmatanga o te marena, ā, kei te kaha tonu te hiahia o te tangata. Pērā anō hoki mō te whakakorenga moepuku: ina whakakahoretia tonutia ngā tono moepuku a te tāne e tana hoa rangatira. Ka taea e ēnei whakakorenga te arahi ki:
- Te pouri o ngā hiahia moepuku kāore anō kia tutuki
- He whakahekenga i te mana whaiaro o te tangata
Ahakoa ka taea te whakatika hauora i ēnei take mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama mō ō hiahia, mā te kōrero ngaio rānei ki tētahi kaiwhakaora ira tangata, ko te kimi whakamarie i tētahi atu wahine te huarahi māmā ki te nuinga o ngā tāne.
4. Ki te whiu, ki te whakahoki utu rānei ki tana wahine
E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Ko te hinengaro o te tangata tinihanga, ko te whakamahi i te kore whakapono hei whiu, hei utu rānei i tana hoa rangatira. Tērā pea ko tēnei mahi whiu mō tētahi mea i mahia e te hoa rangatira, nā te riri rānei mō ōna hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki i roto i te marena." Ko ēnei hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki:
- Ngā hiahia ā-ira tangata
- Ngā matea kare ā-roto (E hiahia ana hoki ngā tāne kia arohaina, kia hiahiatia, kia maiohatia hoki i roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga piripono)
- Nga hiahia korero
- Ngā hiahia haumaru (Mēnā ka whakaaro te tāne kei te tinihanga tana wahine ki a ia, ka taea rānei e ia te whakarērea te whanaungatanga mō ake tonu atu)
Heoi, i te mea kua tau ake ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua mārenatia ki ō rātou oranga, ka mutu pea te whakapau kaha o ngā hoa ki te whakapuaki i ēnei mea iti ki a rātou anō. I roto i te wā, ka puta tēnei te ngākau māhaki i roto i te whanaungatanga ka wehea rāua, ā, ka huri pea te tāne ki te rapu i taua aroha me te maioha mai i tētahi atu. Koinei te tīmatanga o te nuinga o ngā raruraru kare ā-roto.
5. Te kukume a te hua rāhui
Nā, he aha rā ngā tāne harikoa kua marenatia (e te hunga rānei e āhua harikoa ana) e tinihanga ai? Ko tētahi o ngā tino take e tinihanga ai te tāne i tana wahine ko te kukume o te hua rāhui. Ko te harikoa me te ngākau nui o te mahi i tētahi mea tapu, me te mawhiti atu i te mea e tika ana, he nui atu te whakamīharo i te orgasm pai rawa atu, ā, ka taea e tēnei pikinga adrenaline te noho hei mea matua hei akiaki i te tāne tinihanga.
I roto i te pukapuka, Cheatingland: Ngā Whaki Huna a ngā Tāne i Kotiti ke, e tuhi ana i ngā wheako tinihanga o te 61 tāne kua moe tāne, me ngā take kei muri i tēnā, arā, ko te "whakahihiri" me te "moepuku e pāorooro ana i te ngākau" ngā kaupapa tino noa. Nō reira, mēnā he maha ngā hoa moepuku a te tāne tinihanga, he maha rānei ngā hononga poto ki waho o te marena, he nui te tūponotanga kei te mahi ia i tēnā hei whakahihiri noa iho.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te mauahara i roto i te marena? E kī ana te tohunga ki a koe
6. Misogyny
Ka kitea hoki te whakautu ki te pātai "He aha ngā tāne kua moe tāne e tinihanga ai?" i roto i ngā tikanga tāne me ngā tikanga pāpori. Te āhua nei, i roto i te hītori, kua whai wāhi ngā tāne ki te whai hoa maha me te kore he hara nā te mea kua whakaritea ngā tāne kia kite i tēnei hei tohu mō tō rātou mana me te tānetanga.
E whakaae ana a Tākuta Bhonsle ko te whakahāwea i te wahine te tino take pea o ngā mahi a te tini o ngā tāne tinihanga. E mea ana ia, "Ka tinihanga te tāne i tana wahine nā te mea e mea ana tōna whakaaro whakahāwea i te wahine, "Ka taea e au te mahi i taku e pai ai, ā, me tango e ia." I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te tangata tinihanga he nui ake te aro ki te āhuatanga 'ahau' i te āhuatanga 'tātou'.
"He rite tonu ki tētahi huarahi e aro ana ki te kiritaki ki te marena, e tumanako ana ia ki tētahi taumata, ki tētahi kounga rānei o te ratonga, ā, ki te kore aua tumanakohanga e tutuki, e whakaaro ana ia he tika tana tinihanga. Kāore ia e tino noho hei hoa mahi, hei hoa ōrite rānei i roto i te marena."
7. Tōna momo piripono
Kāore pea te tangata tinihanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga e akiakihia ana e te hiahia nui, e te iti rānei o te whakaaro ki a ia anō. Ko te hinengaro o te tangata tinihanga he maha ngā āhuatanga hinengaro e pāngia ana e ia, ka meinga pea ia kia whakangaro i tana whanaungatanga ki tana hoa. Ko tētahi āhuatanga ka kitea pea i roto i te tangata tinihanga ko te momo piripono koretake, arā, ko te momo piri ā-manukanukaNgā tāngata whai i tēnei tauira piripono:
- He tūpato ki te whanaungatanga piripono, ā, he uaua ki te pupuri i tētahi whanaungatanga pumau
- Ka taea te riri pinepine ki ō rātou hoa
- Ka taea e rātou te wehe i a rātou anō i te taha hinengaro mai i tētahi e ngana ana ki te whakatata atu ki a rātou
- Ka taea te whakamahi i ngā whanonga whakararuraru i a koe anō pērā i te tinihanga
Ko tēnei momo piripono he hua nō te whakatipuhia e ngā kaitiaki kāore e wātea ana ki te taha hinengaro. Koinei te wā e ako ai te tamaiti ko rātou anake hei whakawhirinakitanga māna. Nā te mea i warewarehia, i whakaitihia, i whakakorengia rānei ngā matea hinengaro o te tangata, ka noho ko te noho motuhake me te noho wehe hei arai.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Kāhua Piripiri Hinengaro: Ko te Pānga o tō Whanaungatanga ki te Āhua o tō Whakatipu
8. Te take 'o mua'
Ko te mōrearea o te whanoke tetahi o ngā mōrearea nui rawa atu o te hono anō ki tētahi hoa o mua i te wā kua marenatiaE mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Mēnā he hononga kaha tō te tangata i mua, kei te mau tonu ōna kare ā-roto ki tētahi hoa o mua, he hononga piripono rānei ki tētahi hoa o mua, ka tere tonu te huri hei wāhi whakatupu i tētahi hononga ā-roto." E whakapuaki ana ia i ngā take e whai ake nei e hoki ai te tangata ki tētahi hoa o mua ahakoa kua moe ia:
- He tautoko kare ā-roto kei roto i taua hononga
- He whakawhirinakitanga
- Ki tōna whakaaro he pai ake tōna mārama ki a ia i tana hoa rangatira
- He pai te hononga ā-ira i waenganui i te tokorua
9. Ngā mamae me ngā wheako o te tamarikitanga
Ka taea e ngā wheako o te tamarikitanga te whai wāhi ki te whakanui ake i a rātou ki te puremu. Hei tauira,
- Mena kua mamae te tangata tukino tamarikitanga/ngā whara pēnei i te tūkino tinana, te tūkino kare ā-roto, te tūkino ā-ira tangata rānei (ā, kāore anō kia arohia taua whara), he nui ake te tūponotanga ka tinihanga ia i roto i ana whanaungatanga piripono
- Waihoki, ko te kitenga tata i te tinihanga – te tinihanga a te mātua i tētahi atu – ka piki ake te tūponotanga o te tinihanga.
A ako kua kitea ko ngā tamariki i takarohia ki te puremu i roto i ngā marena a ō rātou mātua e rua ngā wā ka nui ake te tūponotanga ki te tinihanga i ērā kāore i takaro.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Take a ngā Tāne me ā rātou Whaea: 15 Ngā Tohu me pēhea te whakatau
10. Ko te taikaha i te sex
He maha ngā tāne kua marenatia e tinihanga ana nā te mea he kaingākau ki te takotoI kōrero mai tētahi o ōku hoa, a Cathy, ki ahau i ētahi wiki kua pahure. I mea ia he maha ngā hononga a tana tāne, a George, ki ngā wāhine, ā, kei te whai hononga anō hoki ia ki tana hoa mahi, ki a Linda, ā, i kitea e ia tēnei i tana pānui i āna karere kuputuhi.
I mea ia he tāne pono a Hōri, ā, i manaaki pai ia i a ia. I kī atu anō hoki ia ki a ia e aroha ana ia ki a ia, ā, i hoatu hoki e ia he koha ki a ia. Engari mō te moepuku, kua taunga kē a Hōri ki te kotiti ke i ētahi wā. "Kei te tinihanga taku tāne? Āe! kei te tinihanga tonu ia. I ngā wā katoa," ko tāna. Ko taku rongonga whakamutunga, kei te whakamahere a Cathy ki te tuku whakarere.
11. Te kore e pai ki te whakapai ake i a ia anō
He maha ngā wā, kāore ngā tāne kua moe tāne kua pakeke ake i tētahi tau e whai kawenga mō ā rātou mahi. Mā te kī he "whakahē" ā rātou wāhine mō ā rātou pātai me ā rātou amuamu, ka whakatau rātou ki te kimi i tētahi piringa haumaru atu i ngā kawenga katoa. Ā, mā ngā mahi ā-pāpā rātou e whakarato taua wāhi haumaru, tawhiti atu i ngā kawenga katoa. Nō reira, ko te nuinga o te wā, kei te karo ngā tāne i te whakapai ake i:
- Tō rātou āhua pūtea
- Tō rātou pakeketanga kare ā-roto
- Ā rātou whanonga, pērā i te petipeti, te waipiro rānei/rongoā tarukino
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Haepapa i roto i ngā Hononga - Te Tikanga, te Hiranga, me ngā Huarahi hei Mahi
12. Ngā āhuatanga o te tuakiri
I ētahi wā, ko ngā āhuatanga tūturu o te tangata te take e takahuri ai ngā tāne ki te puremu. ako kua whakamātauhia ko ngā tāne whai āhua whakapehapeha he nui ake te tūponotanga ki te tinihanga i te hunga kāore i a rātou ēnei āhua. Ā, ko ētahi pērā nga ahuatanga narcissistic Ko ngā tohu e tohu ana ka tinihanga pea te tāne:
- Te kore aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o ētahi atu
- Te aroha nui ki a koe anō
- Te whakakā hau i ētahi atu
- Te whakaiti i ētahi atu
- Te whakakore i ngā hiahia me ngā wawata o tōna hoa
Koinei pea te whakamārama i te hinengaro kei muri i te tinihanga me te teka.
13. Te raruraru o waenganui o te ao
Kua rongo katoa tatou raru o waenga-ora: taua hiahia kore e taea te karo ki te mahi i ngā mea kāore anō kia mahia e te tangata tae noa ki tētahi tau kua whakaritea. Nā te taumahatanga o ngā tumanakohanga a te whānau me te ahotea o te mahi, ka kitea e ngā tāne kua hipa i tētahi tau kua whakaritea he ara mawhiti. Ā, i te nuinga o te wā, ka rapua e rātou tēnei ara mawhiti mā te moe tāne.
A Reddit kaiwhakamahi e mea ana, "I tinihanga taku tāne o mua i ahau, kātahi ka oma atu me te wahine, ka waiho ahau ki muri hei kohikohi i ngā mea katoa me aku tamariki. He mea ohorere rawa. Tekau mā ono marama inaianei kei te heke mai, kua wehe māua, ā, kua moe anō ia, ā, kei te whakamahere rāua kia whānau he pēpi a mua tata nei. Kei te ngana tonu ahau ki te whakaaro he aha te mea i tupu."
Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Raru Whakawhanaungatanga Ka Pā Mai Ki A Koe Mēnā He Mātua Paitini ōu
He aha ngā tāne ka tinihanga ai, ka noho tonu ai ki ā rātou wahine?
Ko tētahi atu pātai e pā ana ki te puremu e mau tonu ana i ngā tāne ko: he aha te take e hiahia ai ngā tāngata tinihanga ki te noho tonu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga? Āe, ki te mea kei te tinihanga te tāne i te whakawhirinaki o te tangata i oati ai ia ki te aroha me te manaaki mō te toenga o tōna oranga, ka taea e ia te noho harikoa i roto i te marena? Ae, he maha ngā tāne e tinihanga ana e ahua harikoa ana i roto i ā rātou marena, ā, he pono kei roto i te nuinga o ngā pouaka o te oranga harikoa, whai hua - i waho noa iho.
He pono anō hoki, ko te nuinga o ngā tāne tinihanga e mau tonu ana ki te marena. Ahakoa rangahau e tohu ana tata ki te 45% o ngā whakarere katoa i puta mai i te kore whakapono, tatauranga Me kī atu hoki ko te 5-7% anake o te tangata ka whakarērea ā rātou hoa rangatira, ngā hoa noho roa rānei, mō ā rātou hoa moepuku.
Nā, he aha te take e hiahia ai te hunga tinihanga ki te noho tonu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga? Ka whakapuaki a Tākuta Bhonsle i ēnei take:
- He ārai nui pea te whakahē a te hapori
- Tērā pea ka noho mārena te tāne, ā, ka tinihanga tonu, e te pēhanga o te whānau
- Kāore pea ia e hiahia kia pāngia āna tamariki e te mamae o te whakarere
- Tērā pea ka tautoko tana hoa rangatira i te hanganga o te whānau – te tiaki i ngā tamariki, te tiaki rānei i ngā kaumātua e mate ana – ā, kāore pea ia e hiahia ki te whakararuraru i tēnei.
Me pēhea te whakatau i te tinihanga a te tāne ki a koe
I nāianei, e mārama ana ētahi mea – he nui te nuinga o ngā tāne e tinihanga ana i ā rātou hoa rangatira; ko ngā āhuatanga matua o ngā mahi a te tāne tinihanga ka rerekē mai i te āhua o te marena ki ōna ake raruraru kare ā-roto me te hinengaro; ā, ahakoa te tinihanga, kāore pea ia e hiahia ki te tuku i te marena.
Engari, ki te mea he wahine koe kua pā ki tēnei āhuatanga, kua tae ki te wā kia kitea ai me pēhea te mahi mahi tahi me te tāne tinihangaHe maha ngā wāhine e noho tonu ana i roto i ngā marena me ngā hoa tinihanga ahakoa kāore anō kia tino mārama ki te mamae, ki te muru rānei i ngā hara a ā rātou hoa nā te mea e whakaaro ana rātou ehara te wehe i te huarahi tika.
Ki tēnei, e kī ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Kia maumahara, he kōwhiringa me ngā whiringa kei a koe i te ao. I ētahi wā, ko te kōwhiringa anake e wātea ana ki a koe he kōwhiringa kino, kāore i te whakamarie, kāore i te tino papai, ka whakamataku pea. Engari kei reira tonu." Ki te kitea e koe kei te tinihangatia koe, anei ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau:
Te pānui e pā ana: Āhea me haere atu i muri i te puremu: 10 ngā tohu hei mōhio
1. Whakatūpato ki tāu tāne tinihanga
Kaua e huna te kanohi ki tāu tāne e tinihanga ana i a koe. Engari, me anga atu ki a ia, me kōrero. Ko tā Tākuta Bhonsle, "Whakaatu atu ki tāu tāne i runga i te huarahi e ārahi ana ki te kōrero mō ngā mea kei te heke mai." Nō reira, me whai whakautu koe ki ngā pātai e whai ake nei:
- Ka mutu te tinihanga?
- Ki te pērā, ka taea e koe te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki te marena?
- Me pēhea tāu whakahaere i tēnei te whakamutu i te marena?
2. Me noho te tiaki i a koe anō hei kaupapa matua
Kia maumahara he mea nui te tinihangatia, ā, he tika rawa te awhiowhio o ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki a koe. Kaua e huna ēnei kare ā-roto whakamā. Engari, me whakarite te tiaki i a koe anō, me mahi i ngā mea e tika ana kia taea ai e koe te wikitoria i te mamae. Ko te tiaki i a koe anō, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ko te tikanga pea:
- Te korikori ia ra
- Kai hauora
- Te tuhitaka
- Te whai wāhi atu ki ngā mahi whakangahau, pērā i te mahi hanga uku, te pānui pukapuka, te peita rānei
- whakaaroaro
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Āhuatanga Tino Hira e 7 o te Hononga Hauora
3. Arotakehia tāu e hiahia ana māu ake
Kia mātao te mamae me te mamae tuatahi, whakaarohia te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi i muri mai. Me whiwhi koe i ngā whakautu ki ngā pātai e whai ake nei:
- Kei te hiahia koe ki te hoatu i tō tāne tinihanga, tētahi atu whai wāhitanga?
- Kei te hiahia koe ki te wehe atu i te marena?
- Ki te wehe atu koe, he aha te momo tautoko tautoko e hiahiatia ana e koe hei whakatutuki i taua whakawhiti?
He whakatau nui te whakamutu i te marena, ahakoa te tika o tō take, me whakarite koe ehara tēnei i te urupare kare ā-roto ki te mamae i pā ki a koe, engari he kōwhiringa kua whakaaroarohia pai.
Te pānui e pā ana: Te hinganga o te aroha i muri i te tinihanga - he mea noa, me te aha te mahi?
4. Whakauruhia tētahi atu rōpū
E mea ana a Tākuta Bhonsle, "Kei runga i tāu whakatau, me whakauru pea koe i tētahi atu rōpū hei whakahaere i tō kōrua whanaungatanga mai i tēnei wā. Mena kua whakatau koe ki te whakamutu, me tono koe i tētahi rōia whakarere. Ā, ki te mea kua whiriwhiri koe ki te noho tonu me te whakahaere i te whanaungatanga kia angitu, he mea tino taunaki kia rapu āwhina ngaio me te whiriwhiri i te kaiārahi marena." Ki te kore he āwhina mai i tētahi atu rōpū, kāore pea kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira e whai tautoko ki te rapu i te pūtake o te tinihanga, ki te whakatika i te whanaungatanga, me te tino ora i tēnei raruraru.
5. Haere tonu
Ahakoa tāu whakatau, me neke atu koe i tēnei raruraru – ahakoa ko koe anake, ko koe rānei me tō hoa. Kia mahara kia kaua e warewarehia tō haerenga whakaora nā te mea ko te mamae o te ngākau mā te tinihangatia koe e whakarerekē i roto i ngā huarahi maha. He mea nui kia tino ora aua patunga, kia kaua hoki e huri hei take mō ō whanonga kino ā muri ake nei.
Mō te huarahi hei neke whakamua, he Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kī ana, "Mā te whakaae ki te meka kāore ia i whakaute, i aroha rānei ki a koe. Ko te tangata kotahi i tino whakawhirinakihia e koe i tēnei ao hei tiaki i tō ngākau i tinihanga i a koe i te huarahi kino rawa atu. Ehara tēnei i te tangata kotahi i moea e koe. Whakapaua he wā ki te whakaaroaro ki te marena. He rite te whakarere ki te mate. He roa te wā. Kia taea e koe te whakaaroaro ka kite koe i ngā tohu whero katoa i ngaro i a koe, i warewarehia rānei. Ka taea e koe te "kite" i mahi pai tēnei tangata ki a koe, ā, he pai ake māu te tiaki i tō ake ngākau."
Ngā Whakaahua Mō Ngā Take e Tinihanga ai Ngā Tāne Kua Mārenatia
Anei tētahi tirohanga poto ki ngā take e tinihanga ai ngā tāne kua mārenatia, kua piripono rānei ki tētahi hononga, me pēhea hoki te whakatau i ēnei āhuatanga:
Pātai Auau
Kāo, he pono he maha ngā tāne kua moe tāne, kua pūmau rānei ki te tinihanga. Engari kaua tēnā e waiho hei take whānui hei kī he tinihanga ngā tāne katoa. Ko te kitea he tinihanga te tāne, he kore rānei, e whakawhirinaki ana ki ngā āhuatanga maha, pērā i te raruraru o waenganui o te ora, te waranga moepuku, me ētahi atu.
E taea ana e te tāne te aroha ki tana wahine me tōna whānau, ā, ka haere tonu ki te whai wāhi atu ki ngā mahi whakaipoipo. Nā te mea kāore ngā tāne e tinihanga i ngā wā katoa mō te aroha. Ka tinihanga rātou hei whakangā i te kawenga me te ahotea. Tērā pea ka tinihanga rātou nā te mea kua hoha pea tō rātou oranga marena, he kai noa iho rānei i te hua rāhui.
He maha ngā take e tinihanga ai ngā tāne. Nō reira, he rerekē ngā whakaaro o te tangata ina tinihanga ia. Tērā pea ka whakama ētahi mō te tinihanga i ā rātou wāhine, i ā rātou hoa rangatira rānei, ko ētahi ia ka whakamārama i te tinihanga me te kī kāore i tutuki ō rātou matea hinengaro, ā-tinana rānei i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Tohutohu Matua
- He pono he maha ngā tāne kua marenatia e tinihanga ana i ā rātou hoa rangatira
- Ko ngā take o te puremu ka rerekē mai i te hoha o te whanaungatanga ki ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki, te whakahāwea i te wahine, te noho tahi me tētahi hoa o mua, me ngā mamae kare ā-roto kāore anō kia rongoatia.
- Ahakoa te tinihanga, he tokomaha ngā tāne kāore e hiahia ki te whakarērea ā rātou marena
- He wheako tino mamae te mōhio kua tinihangatia tō whakawhirinaki e tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka waiho pea he whara kare ā-roto pumau.
- He mea nui kia tino tukatukahia te mamae i te huarahi hauora rawa atu, kātahi ka whakatau i tō huarahi mahi ā muri ake nei.
Thoughts Final
Nō reira, ko te tumanako kei a koe ngā whakautu katoa ki te pātai, "He aha ngā tāne kua moe tāne e tinihanga ai?" Waihoki, ko te tumanako kei te mōhio koe ki te whakautu ki te pātai, "E tinihanga ana ngā tāne katoa?", he kāo mārama. Ā, he rerekē ngā take matua mō te whiriwhiri i te kore whakapono. Mā te ngana ki te mārama ki te hinengaro kei muri i te tinihanga me te teka ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i tō hoa me te āhuatanga me te aroha nui atu.
Ka taea e te tāne te tinihanga me te aroha tonu ki tana wahine? Āe, āe! Nā te mea kei te tinihanga noa ia hei whakamāmā i te āwangawanga. Engari ehara tēnei i te kī me whakaiti e koe tō mamae, me whakapae rānei i a koe anō mō ā rāua mahi. Heoi anō, mā te tirohanga tika koe e āwhina ki te whakaahua i tō tāne tinihanga, kaua ki te whakakino i a ia, ā, ka āwhina pea tēnei i a koe ki te aromatawai i tāu e tino hiahia ana mōu ake me te whanaungatanga.
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