15 Ngā Tohu e Moemoeā Ana Ia Mō Tētahi Atu

Kei te tirotiro tonu koe i tō hoa mō ngā tohu kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata? Tērā pea he ingoa tōna mō te moemoeā mō ngā tāngata ehara i a koe. Tērā pea ko 'koe' te hoa e whakaaro ana i tēnei wā, "He aha ahau ka moemoeā ai mō te tinihanga i taku hoa?"

He moemoeā iti tā tātou katoa. Tērā pea kei te moemoeā koe mō tētahi e mōhiotia pai ana e koe, e moemoeā ana rānei mō tētahi kāore koe i te tino mōhio. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe mō tō hoa noho tata, mō tētahi tangata rongonui rānei (hei tauira, he rite ahau ki a Idris Elba).

E whakaatu ana tētahi rangahau e 98% o ngā tāne me te 80% o ngā wāhine he moemoeā kei waho o tā rātou hononga pumau, ko te nuinga he moemoeā ā-ira. Ināianei, he moemoeā hauora kei reira kāore he whakaaro "Kei te harikoa ahau i roto i te marena engari kei te moemoeā mō tētahi atu, he hē?" "Kei te moemoeā ahau mō tētahi atu i roto i te whanaungatanga, he tinihanga?" Engari me aha koe ina kore e taea e koe, e tō hoa rānei te mutu te moemoeā mō tētahi atu?

I pātai mātou ki a Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaunihera mō te wehenga me te whakarere, mō ētahi tirohanga ki ngā tohu e moemoeā ana ia mō tētahi atu, te wā ka huri hei āhuatanga kino, me pēhea te whakatau i tēnei.

He aha te tikanga o te moemoeā mō tētahi tangata?

"Ko te moemoeā mō tētahi ka taea te rite ki te kore pono o te ngākau. Kāore pea koe e whai wāhi ana ki ngā whanaungatanga ā-tinana, engari kei te whakaaro tonu koe ki a rātou, ahakoa he mōhio, he kore mōhio rānei," te kī a Hatia.
Ina kei te whakaaro tonu koe ki tētahi tangata, ā, kei te harikoa kōrua marena engari kei te moemoeā mō tētahi atu, tera pea kāore koe i te makona ki tō whanaungatanga o nāianei, tera pea kei te hiahia koe ki te kai i tāu keke me te kai anō hoki. Ahakoa kāore pea koe e mahi i runga i ō moemoeā, tera pea ka arahi ki te ahotea hinengaro nui mōu me tō hoa, ā, ka puta he hononga whakararu.

Ngā Tohu e Moemoeā Ana Ia Mō Tētahi Atu

Nā, kua mōhio tātou ki te tikanga o te moemoeā mō tētahi, me pēhea tātou e pānui ai i ngā tohu tūturu e moemoeā ana ia mō tētahi atu? He aha tā tātou e tirotiro ai, ā, me pēhea tātou e wehewehe ai i waenga i te rapu tohu tūturu me te whakaaro nui rawa atu? Pānuihia tonu kia kitea ai.

Pānui e pā ana: 17 Ngā Tohu kei te whai hononga ā-ipurangi tō hoa

1. He maha āna whakahua i te ingoa o tētahi

I roto i te pukapuka 'The Diary of Bridget Jones', ka kōrero te toa wahine mō te 'whakahua' i te tīmatanga o te whakahua a tana hoa i te ingoa o tētahi atu wahine ki roto i te kōrero. He tohu tēnei kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata, nā te mea he nui ake tā tātou kōrero mō te hunga e noho tonu ana i roto i ō tātou hinengaro.

"E rua tau māua ko taku hoa rangatira e noho tahi ana, ā, ka tīmata ia ki te kōrero mō tēnei wahine i mahi tahi rāua," te kī a Callie (31), he miihini nō Chicago. "Ko te kī tonu a Alison ko tēnei, me te kī anō "E taunaki ana a Alison i taua waitohu pata" me ērā atu mea. I tino kitea kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu i a ia e noho tahi ana me ahau. I tino mārama kāore i taea e ia te mutu te whakaaro mō tētahi atu.

2. Ka whanake ohorere ia i ngā mahi whakangahau hou

Nā, ko te tikanga, ka taea e kōrua ko tō hoa te whai i ngā hiahia me ngā mahi whakangahau motuhake, ā, kei roto i a rāua te mana ki te mahi i ngā mea hou. Engari kua tīmata kē tana hiahia ki te korowha i muri i tana kī mō ngā tau e kino ana ia ki te korowha? Kei te pānui kē ia i ngā pukapuka pūtaiao pakiwaitara i muri i te roanga o te wā e 'hoha ana' ki te korowha?

Pānui e pā ana: Te hiranga o ngā hiahia ōrite i roto i ngā whanaungatanga

Tērā pea ko te tangata e moemoeā ana ia ko ia te tangata e whai ana i ēnei hiahia, ā, kua kukumea tō hoa ki aua hiahia, kei te tumanako rānei ia ki te miharo i a rātou mā te kōrero i te wā e tūtaki ai rātou. He tohu tēnei kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata.

3. Ka rerekē te āhua o tō oranga moepuku

I kitea i roto i tētahi rangahau , i roto i ngā moemoeā ā-ira tangata, he maha ngā wā ka moemoeā ngā tāne mō te mana whakahaere me te ngohengohe, engari ko ngā moemoeā a ngā wāhine he mea nui ake ki te hinengaro me te kare ā-roto. Ehara i te mea koinei te ture, engari he tohu taketake tēnei mēnā kei te rapu koe i ngā tohu kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu.

"Kāore taku hoa i tino hiahia ki te mahi mōrearea i roto i te moenga, ā, kāore au i tino māharahara. Kātahi ka hiahia ia ki te whakamātau i ngā mahi whakaari me ngā kākahu o roto e taea te kai me ērā atu mea. I mahara ahau he hiahia noa ia ki tētahi mea hou, me te ngana ki te pupuri i te hihiri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga roa . Engari i tere taku mōhio he tangata kē atu i tūtaki ia i kōrero mō taua mea, nō reira i whakaoho ake ai tōna hiahia. Ehara i ahau tana i hiahia ai, engari ko ana moemoeā mō tēnei tangata kē atu," te kī a Jules, 38 tau te pakeke, he ahorangi mō ngā akoranga ahurea.

He maha ngā wā ka tino pārekareka ngā moemoeā, ā, ka hiahia pea tō hoa ki te takaro i aua moemoeā ki a koe ahakoa he tangata kē kei roto i tōna hinengaro. Nō reira, ki te rerekē ngā āhuatanga i roto i te rūma moe, ahakoa pai, ahakoa kino, he tohu pea tēnei kei te hiahia ia ki tētahi atu tangata.

4. Ka karanga ia i a koe ki tētahi atu ingoa

Āe, he tohu tēnei e kore e taea e ia te mutu te moemoeā mō tētahi atu. Kāore pea i te wā moepuku ka whakahuatia e ia te ingoa o tētahi atu, engari he tohu tonu tēnā kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu. Ahakoa ka karanga noa ia i a koe i tētahi atu ingoa, ka tono atu kia tukuna atu e koe te tōhi i te parakuihi, he tangata kei roto i tōna hinengaro, ehara i a koe!

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5. He maha ngā wā ka ngaro ia i roto i ngā moemoeā

"Ko te hoa e moemoeā ana mō tētahi atu tangata, kua ngaro i a ia te hinengaro me te kare ā-roto. Tērā pea kei te kata, kei te menemene ki a rātou anō, kei te whero te mata i tētahi whakaaro, me ērā atu mea, e whakaatu ana i ngā tohu o te kore aro ki ngā kare ā-roto i roto i te marena ," te kī a Shazia.

Tērā pea kei te moemoeā rātou mō tētahi e mōhiotia ana e koe, kei te moemoeā rānei mō tētahi e kore nei koe e mōhiotia, engari ko te ngaro haere o te hoa i roto i ōna ake whakaaro, ā, kei te harikoa rawa ki taua mea, he tohu kino pea tēnei mō te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa pēhea, te āhua nei ko tētahi o ngā tohu kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu.

6. Ka tīmata ia ki te tohu i ngā wawata

Kua kōrero kē tō hoa mō ngā mea e hiahia ana ia ki te mahi i roto, i waho hoki i te rūma moe, engari kāore pea me koe? Tērā pea ka mea ia, "Aue, he pai ki ahau te noho i runga i tētahi waka me tētahi wahine ataahua i tōku taha." Ahakoa kāore ia e whakahua ana i tētahi ingoa motuhake i konei, tera pea ko tētahi o ngā tohu kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata.

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7. Kāore ia e pai kia noho tahi me koe

"Ina moemoeā ana te tangata mō tētahi atu i roto i tētahi hononga, ka whakaari rātou kei te whakarongo, kei te noho tahi, engari kāore. Ka riri hoki rātou mēnā ka tāruatia e te hoa tāne ā rātou kōrero, ka ngana rānei ki te whakarite kei te whakarongo rātou," te kī a Shazia.

He mea noa te uru nui o te tangata ki roto i tō rātou ao wawata, ka wareware rātou me noho tahi ngā whanaungatanga tūturu me rātou, ā, me whakarongo pai, me whakarongo hohe hoki i te iti rawa.

8. Kāore ia e hiahia ana ki te kōrero mō tō heke mai ki a koe

"I ngā wā katoa ka ngana ahau ki te kōrero mō ngā mahere ā meake nei me taku hoa mō ngā tau e toru, ka noho puku ia, ka amuamu rānei, ka mea, "Kāore e taea te kōrero anō mō ​​tēnei mea ā muri ake nei?" I muri mai ka kitea e au kei roto ia i tētahi momo hononga aroha me tētahi atu i taua wā," te kī a Chris, he RJ nō Texas. Ahakoa he hararei mutunga wiki, he tūtaki rānei ki te whānau, he taumau rānei, ko te tangata e mataku ana ki te kōrero mō te heke mai o tētahi whanaungatanga e mau tonu ana he tohu pono kāore e taea e ia te mutu te moemoeā mō tētahi atu.

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9. He huna ia mō tana waea

He tika tonu kia noho motuhake te katoa, ahakoa kei roto i te whanaungatanga, kāore rānei. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te mōhio ki ngā karere kuputuhi e tukuna ana e tō hoa, ki te tangata rānei e kōrero tonu ana rātou ki a ia.

Heoi, ki te āhua ohorere, hara rānei tō hoa ina whakamutua e koe tētahi waea, tētahi karere kuputuhi rānei, ki te nui rawa rānei ngā 'karere mahi' e riro ana i a ia i te pō, tera pea ko tētahi o ngā tohu kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata, ā, kei te mahi ia i runga i tēnā mā te whakamahi i ētahi waehere karere kuputuhi tinihanga a te hoa rangatira.

"Ko tētahi o ngā tohu e moemoeā ana ia mō tētahi atu tangata, ko tōna wehi tonu kei hopukina ia e te mahi tinihanga," te whakamārama a Shazia. "Nō reira, kei te āwangawanga tonu ia kei kitea e koe, ā, me aro atu ia ki ngā āhuatanga."

10. E hiahia ana ia ki te noho tahi me ētahi tāngata

Ahakoa kei te moemoeā tō hoa mō tētahi e mōhio ana koe, kei te moemoeā rānei mō tētahi kāore koe i te tino mōhio, ka hiahia ohorere ia ki te whakapau i te wā ki a rātou. Mena he tangata e mōhio ana koe, tera pea ka puta he mahere kawhe, he mahere inu rānei me rātou, engari kāore koe e uru atu i ngā wā katoa. Ka tīmata rānei ia ki te kī atu kia karangahia rātou ki te kāinga, kia haereere rānei. Arā, kei te ngana ia ki te whai wā ki tana moemoeā, kia puta atu rānei i roto i tana pūnaha, kia uru hohonu atu rānei.

11. Me nui ake te wā mo ia anake i te wā e hiahiatia ana e ia

Anō, ko te noho i roto i te whanaungatanga aroha ehara i te mea ka noho tahi kōrua i ia wā. Me whai wāhi te katoa, me te wā mokemoke, ā, ahakoa ngā mea pēnei i te whakarere moe, ka whai hua pea ki te whanaungatanga. Engari he rerekētanga i waenga i te hiahia wāhi me te wehe ohorere mai i te hoa. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te hoki whakamuri rawa tō hoa tāne ki roto i tana ana tāne, ā, kei te riri ki te noho tahi me koe, tera pea he mea kei te haere.

12. Ka wareware ia ki ngā rā me ngā mahere nui

Ae, i ētahi wā ka pukumahi tātou, ā, ka ngaro ngā mea i roto i ō tātou hinengaro. Engari kāore he take mō te wareware tonu ki tētahi kai tina, ki tētahi huritau marena, ki te kohi miraka rānei mō te rā e whai ake nei. Mena kei te wareware tonu ia ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe me tō kōrua whanaungatanga, kei tētahi atu wāhi tana arotahi, ā, kāore pea i te mahi. Kāore pea he aha, engari tera pea ko tētahi o ngā tohu kino o te whakaipoipo e moemoeā ana ia mō tētahi atu tangata.

13. He ngenge tonu ia

"Ki te mea kei te āwangawanga tonu tō hoa, kei te whakaaro hoki, "He aha ahau ka moemoeā ai mō te tinihanga i tētahi e arohaina ana e au?", ka nui ake tōna taumahatanga me tōna ngenge i te tikanga," te kī a Shazia. "Tērā pea ka kī atu ia ki a koe he maha ngā mahi kei te tari, kāore rānei ia i te moe pai, engari ko te pono, kei te āwangawanga ia mō āna moemoeā me pēhea tana whakahaere i taua mea, me kore rānei e aro noa atu."

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14. He ātete ia mēnā ka pātai koe mō āna mahere

Ia wā ka pātai atu koe ki tō hoa mō tōna rā, me āna mahi, āna mahere rānei, ka pā mai tōna ringa riri, ka ruru rānei. Tērā pea koinei tētahi o ngā tohu o te hara tinihanga nā te mea e mōhio ana ia ka pau te wā roa o te rā ki te moemoeā mō tētahi, ki te tūtaki puku rānei ki a rātou. Tērā pea kei te ahotea ia, kei te whakaaro hoki, "He aha ahau ka moemoeā ai mō te tinihanga i taku hoa?", nō reira, tērā pea ka puta mai te ārai i reira.

15. Ka tīmata ia ki te whakarite i a koe ki ētahi atu

"E rua tau ki muri i tō māua hononga, ka tīmata taku hoa ki te kōrero mō tēnei wahine kē. Ko te kī tonu "He tino pai ngā kākahu o Janet" me "Tērā pea ka taea e koe te hoko i ngā whakakai taringa ōrite" me ērā atu mea. Kāore au i tino whakaaro nui ki tēnā i te tīmatanga, engari kātahi ka tīmata ia ki te whakarite i a māua ko ia, ā, koira te wā i mōhio ai au kua tino whakaaro ia ki a ia, kua mātakitaki hoki i a ia me te tino tupato," te kī a Steph, 29 tau te pakeke, he kaihoahoa hanga nō Ohio.

Kāore ngā mahanga whakataurite i roto i te whanaungatanga e pai ana, ā, ki te tīmata te rerekētanga i waenganui i a koe me tētahi atu tangata, he tohu tēnā kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata.

Āhea ka huri te moemoeā hei mea kino?

"He mea kino te āhua o ngā mea tino nui. Ko te tangata kāore i te tū pakari ki te ao tūturu, e haere ana ki te ao wawata kāore e hiahia ana kia hoki atu, ka wehe atu i te ao tūturu, he mea tino kino," te kī a Shazia. "He uaua ki a rātou te hoki ki te ao tūturu nā te mea kua hangaia e rātou tēnei ao ake, kei raro i ō rātou mana whakahaere ngā mea katoa. Ki te tae ki taua wā, kāore he painga ki te pātai atu ki a ia, "Kei te harikoa koe i te marena engari kei te moemoeā mō tētahi atu?"

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"Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki te moepuku mō tētahi atu tangata, ko te mea pai ko te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro ki tō hoa, me te whakawhirinaki ki a rātou mō ō moemoeā, me te whakaae kei te kaha koe ki te ātete engari kāore e taea. Me toro atu te tangata, me te rapu āwhina ngaio. Hei hoa e whakaae ana ki ngā tohu kei te moemoeā ia mō tētahi atu tangata, ka taea e koe te āwhina i a rātou mā te tango i ētahi wā hararei, te whakarite hararei, me te whakahoki mai i te mura ki ō rātou oranga tūturu. Heoi, ka taea e rātou te tahuri ke i te hinengaro o tā rātou hoa mai i te ao moemoeā," tāna tāpiri.

E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai, kei reira ngā moemoeā hauora hei whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga, ā, kei reira anō te momo moemoeā ka whiti koe ki te taha pōuri ka tīmata te ngaro o te whanaungatanga tūturu kei a koe, kaua ki tērā i titoa e koe me tētahi atu i roto i tō roro.

Ki te whakapae koe kua pāngia koe, tō hoa rānei e tēnei raruraru, he mea pai kia aro tonu atu koe ki tēnei raruraru. Ki te rapu āwhina ngaio koe, kei reira tonu te rōpū tohunga mātau o Bonobology hei āwhina. Tērā pea he whakama ki te whakaae kua tawhiti rawa atu koe i te ao tūturu i a koe e pakeke ana, engari he mea noa ake tēnei i tō whakaaro. Mā te whakaae me te whiwhi āwhina ka pai ake ngā mea, kaua e pehi me te kī kāore he he. Kia ora!

Ngā Wāhanga Whakaora i te Whakapono hei Whakaora i te Take o te Whakaipoipo

He aha te tikanga o te moemoea mō tō aroha

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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