Me pēhea te tere o te wikitoria i te wehenga? 15 Ngā Tohutohu hei hoki wawe mai ki te whanaungatanga

Kāore ngā wehenga e karanga ana i tētahi rōpū kutikuti makawe ki tō ngākau, e waiata ana i te Waiata Harikoa o te Ora (ki te kore, i tangohia tō herekoretanga e tō hoa o mua, ā, i meinga tō ao kia pōuri). Ko ētahi o ā tātou whanaungatanga he ngāwari ki te neke atu, ko ētahi e waiho ana i ngā whara mō te wā roa. Engari ki taku whakaaro, i tētahi wā o te ao, kua kitea tātou katoa he ngākau maru me ngā kanohi roimata, e ngana ana ki te rapu huarahi hei whakakore wawe i te wehenga.

Ā, he take pai anō hoki. Ka taea e te wā i muri i te wehenga te waiho i a koe me te mea kei te hikoi haere koe me te maripi i werohia ki roto i tō ngākau. Mā te aroha ka tere ake te tukunga o ngā homoni harikoa i roto i te tinana e whakarei ake ana i tō hauora tinana me te hinengaro. Ko te rerekētanga te mahi a ngā wehenga. E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ka arahi pea ngā wehenga aroha ki te kore moe me te ngoikore o te pūnaha ārai mate. Kāore te katoa i rite ki te aro atu ki ēnei huringa, ā, he tokomaha ka mutu ka toremi ō rātou pouri ki te waipiro me te hiahia ki ā rātou hoa o mua mō ngā marama.

Ko tēnei tuhinga mō te hunga kāore e taea te wikitoria i te wehenga ahakoa te whakapau kaha. Kāore pea e taea te tango katoa i tō mamae. Engari, i te iti rawa, ka taea e mātou te whakaatu i tō mātou tautoko me te ārahi i a koe ki te huarahi tere ki te wikitoria i te wehenga. Hei tuku atu i ētahi tirohanga a te tohunga mō tēnei take, i kōrero mātou ki te tohunga hinengaro a Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), he tohunga ki te CBT, REBT, me te tohutohu mō ngā tokorua.

Me pēhea te tere o te wikitoria i te wehenga? 15 Ngā Tohutohu hei hoki wawe mai ki te whanaungatanga

"He mea noa te tere o te whakakore i te wehenga?", tērā pea koe e whakaaro ana. He haerenga whaiaro te whakakore i te wehenga, ā, kāore he rā kati kua whakaritea. He rerekē ngā wāhanga o te wehenga o te tangata kia neke atu ai, kia tau ai te rangimārie. Engari e kī ana mātou mō tō oranga hinengaro, ko te tere o te tīmatanga o te tukanga whakaora, ko te pai ake. I pātai mātou ki tā mātou tohunga mēnā he ara poto hei whakakore i te wehenga.

E ai ki a Nandita , "Mēnā he whanaungatanga nui, ā, i pā kino te wehenga ki a koe, kāore au i te tino mōhio ka taea e koe te whakakore wawe i taua mea. Me haere koe i roto i te tukanga whakaora katoa kia ora tika ai, kia tukua hoki koe kia rongo i ō kare ā-roto. I ētahi wā, ina kore e taea te manawanui i te mamae, ka ngana tātou ki te peke i ētahi wāhanga mā roto i ētahi tikanga whakatau. Pērā ai, tera pea ka whakaaro koe kei te ngaro atu koe i te pouri, engari i te ao tūturu, kāore koe e tino ora, ā, ka neke whakamua me ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia."

"Ki te whakakahoretia koe e tetahi, ehara i te mea me whakakahoretia anō koe e koe anō, me whakaaro rānei koe he iti iho koe i te tangata. Ehara i te mea kāore he tangata e aroha ki a koe i muri mai. Kia mahara ko te KOTAHI anake te tangata kua whakakahore i a koe i tēnei wā, ā, he tino mamae rawa atu nā te mea ki a koe, ko te whakaaro o taua tangata te tohu o te whakaaro o te ao katoa, o te Atua." ― Jocelyn Soriano, Mend My Broken Heart

Nō reira, he aha koe te whakarerekē ai i tēnei kōrero kia kaha ake ai te whakamana i a koe anō. E ai ki tā Barney Stinson, "Ina pōuri ahau, ka mutu taku pōuri, ka noho hei rawe." Kaua e manukanuka, ehara i te mea ko ngā kupu hopu kōrero ataahua anake a Bonobology engari ko ngā tohutohu whai hua hei oranga i te mamae o te ngākau me te kore e pakaru i a koe anō. Ko tā mātou e tono nei he iti noa te kaha o tō taha me te hiahia kia pai anō te ahua. Ka taea e koe te mahi i tēnā mā mātou?

1. Whakaaetia kua mutu te whanaungatanga

Whakapono mai, kāore rānei, ko te huarahi tere ki te wikitoria i te wehenga, me te wāhanga tuatahi o te whakaora i tō mate, ko te whakaae. Whakaaetia te meka kua ngaro te whanaungatanga mō ake tonu atu. Awhitia ō kare ā-roto pouri, ka tukuna atu. Kia maumahara ki ngā wā pai engari kaua e wareware ki ngā take i mutu ai te whanaungatanga.

• Tukua he wā ki a koe kia taunga ki tēnā mana'o kau
• Tangihia tō ngākau, hamama rānei ki roto i te urunga
• Haere ki te oma, ki te wero rānei i te putea onepu
• Tuhia rānei ō kare ā-roto ki roto i tētahi pukapuka tuhi

Ko te mea e pai ana mōu i a koe e rapu ana i tētahi rongoā tere mō tō ngākau maru. Ko te nuinga o te tangata e whara ana i a rātou anō me te tumanako ka pai ake ngā mea, ā, ka hoki anō rātou ki te taha. Engari e whakaatu ana ētahi rangahau he iti ake te tūponotanga o te harikoa me te makona o ngā hoa kua wehe kē i te taha i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ki te kore koe e whakakore i ō tumanako ka hoki mai tō hoa o mua, e kore rawa tō hinengaro e whakaoho i te tukanga whakaora.

Pānui e pā ana: Ko te tumanako kāore koe e mahi ana i ēnei mea 10 katakata i muri i te wehenga

3. Kati te rapu i te otinga mai i ētahi atu

He tokomaha o tātou kāore e taea te wikitoria i te wehenga nā te mea he raruraru iti noa iho - te korenga o te kati hononga. He tino uaua tēnei arai ki te wikitoria i te mea ka hē tātou i te rapu i te hē i roto i te tangata kē. "Me i whakapāha mai ia i tētahi wā..." "Me i kōrero mai ia ki ahau he aha i wehe ai tāua..." Āe, e hoa, kaua te kati hononga e herea ki tētahi āhuatanga. Ka haere tonu te ao, ā, me here e koe ngā pito mutunga, ahakoa he māramatanga tō hoa o mua ki a koe, kāore rānei.

Ahakoa ka pērā rātou, mā te whakamārama pōuri pēnei i te " Ehara i a koe, ko au " ka nui ake te pōhēhē. Whakapono ki tō ake pono - ki ō whakaaro i hē i roto i te whanaungatanga, me ngā mea i taea e koe te mahi rerekē. Kātahi ka ngana ki te neke atu i te whakaaro o te katinga, ki te kore ka noho koe me ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ka pā kino ki ō whanaungatanga katoa a meake nei.

E kī ana a Nandita, "I roto i ngā kupu hinengaro, ko te tikanga o te katinga ko te wā kua whakatau koe ki te kati i tētahi wāhanga motuhake o tō oranga, me te hohou i te rongo ki taua mea. Ahakoa kāore i a koe ngā whakautu, ngā māramatanga rānei, me kimi e koe i roto i tō ngākau te kaha me te manawanui kia oti ai, kia pau ai tēnei upoko, kia huri ai i tētahi rau hou."

2. Me pēhea te neke whakamua i muri i te wehenga — Mā te kore e kati i ō hoa

Ko tētahi o ngā mea kāore e tika ana kia mahia e koe i muri i te wehenga ko te pei atu i ō hoa me ō whanaunga. He maha ngā tāngata ka whakaiti i ō rātou oranga pāpori ina uru atu rātou ki tētahi whanaungatanga nā te mea ko tō rātou hoa te pokapū o ō rātou aro. He tino mamae te wā ka pakaru taua āhua o nāianei. Heoi anō, ka taea tonu e koe te pupuri i tō oranga pāpori mā te tuku i ō hoa ki roto. Heoi anō, ko rātou tonu tō wāhi haumaru.

• Te noho takitahi i roto i te wehenga ā, ko te noho tahi me te roopu hoa e pupuri ana i ō ringaringa he mea rerekē e rua
• Mā rātou koe e āwhina, ā, ka waiho rātou hei mea hei whakararuraru i a koe i te mamae nui o roto.
• Ka taea hoki e rātou te āwhina i a koe kia kite i te ao i tētahi tirohanga hou, kia noho pukumahi hoki tō ngākau me tō roro hei āwhina i a koe ki te wikitoria i te mamae o te ngākau.

I a ia e kōrero ana mō te huarahi hei whakakore tere i te wehenga, i kōrero te tohunga hinengaro haumanu a Devaleena Ghosh ki a Bonobology, "Ko te mahi nui ko te whakapau i te wā kounga me ō hoa. He huarahi pai te whakarongo ki ō whakaaro hei whakatau i te pouri i muri i te wehenga. He manaakitanga pono te hoa e whakarongo ana ki a koe me te kore e whakahē, e kite tika ana rānei i ō hapa me te kore e nanakia. Ka taea e rātou te noho hei puna whakamarie, hei huarahi whakatikatika hoki."

4. Kimihia he huarahi hei tautuhi anō i ō maharatanga me ō taonga tuku iho o mua

Ki te mea kei te rapu huarahi koe ki te whakaora i te wehenga, kati te titiro ki ngā maharatanga o tō whanaungatanga hei mea e arahi ana ki ngā hinganga maha. Engari, me mahi āta ki te whakatikatika i tō tirohanga, me te titiro ki aua mea hei whakamaumahara i ngā wā pai kua pahure. Ā, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe kāore anō kia tae ki te wā e ora ai ngā kare ā-roto e taea ai e koe te mahi i tēnā, me wehe atu i a koe i ngā mea katoa e whakamahara ana i a koe ki tō whanaungatanga.

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i ngā maharatanga o te aroha kua ngaro

Ki te mea he tumanako tōu mā te titiro atu ki aua pikitia harikoa, huna atu, tahuna rānei. Ki te mea ka arai ngā koha i tō tukanga whakaora, hoatu atu. Heoi, ki te mea ehara koe i te tangata e titiro whakamuri ana ki ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki te whanaungatanga o mua hei whakamahara i tō hoa o mua, kaua e uaua te tuku atu .

Kei a koe te tikanga. Ka taea e mātou te tuku atu i tētahi mahi mohio hei whakatau i tēnei raruraru: Whakatakotoria he tirohanga hou me ngā uara ki ngā maharatanga tawhito. Tuhia ēnei ki runga i tētahi pepa ka whakapiri atu ki ngā koha, ki ngā taonga whakamaumahara, ki tētahi atu mea rānei e whakamahara ana i a koe ki tō hoa o mua. Pērā ai, kāore koe e whakarihariha ki tō whanaungatanga, ā, ka tere tonu te neke atu i te wā e hiahia ana koe ki ngā rā o mua.

5. Whakamutua tō hinengaro hara

Ka taea e te hara te aukati i tō ahunga whakamua katoa i roto i te haerenga 'me pēhea te neke whakamua i muri i te wehenga'. He kare ā-roto kaha rawa atu tēnei, ā, ka whakapae tonu koe i a koe anō mō ​​ake tonu atu ahakoa i whai wāhi kino koe ki te wehenga. Tērā pea nā rātou katoa. I tinihanga rātou, i pakaru tō whakawhirinaki, i whakarērea koe. Ā, anei koe, e manukanuka ana, "Tērā pea kua he taku mahi i pana atu ai rātou."

Kāore e taea e koe te neke whakamua kia mutu rā anō te oati ki te whakarērea ēnei kare ā-roto hara. He maha ngā take uaua ka puta ai te wehenga. Ahakoa ko koe te tangata i tīmata, kāore tēnā e kī he tangata kino koe. Me aro tonu koe ki a koe anō i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakakore i te wehenga nāu i take . Tuhia ngā mea katoa e whakama ana koe, kimihia he take whaitake hei mārama ki te aha i hē ai, me te take hoki, akohia ngā mea ka taea e koe mai i tēnā, ā, ngana ki te mutu te aroha ki a koe anō.

E kī ana a Nandita, "Tuatahi, me whakaae koe kāore te whanaungatanga i pai, ahakoa he whakaaro hara kei te pā mai nā te mea i whara koe i te tangata kē. Ka taea e koe te whakamāmā i te whiu i te mea ka taea. Engari me mahara anō hoki koe ko te mea i mahia he mea pai mō kōrua tokorua. Mena kei te noho tahi tonu kōrua, tera pea kua mutu kōrua i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pouri, kino hoki. Nō reira, i te wā roa, ki taku whakaaro kua mahi kōrua i tētahi mea pai ki a kōrua tokorua, ā, tera pea ka āwhina i te whakamama i te hara."

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i te wā okioki i roto i te whanaungatanga - 7 ngā ture

6. Patohia ngā hononga katoa kia tere ai te neke atu

Mā te wā, te ngaro, me te tawhiti ka puta te māramatanga o ngā kare ā-roto e hiahiatia ana e te tangata i muri i te wehenga. Mā te ngaro o tō hoa o mua, me te aroturuki tonu i a rātou nā te mea kei ngā wāhi katoa ō kare ā-roto, ka pā kino ki tō haerenga whakamua. Nō reira, he mea pai te tapahi i ngā hononga katoa e hono ana i a koe ki tō hoa o mua, kia whai wā ai koe ki te whakaora me te wareware i aua kare ā-roto.

Ahakoa he uaua ki te whakahaere i te hiahia ki te whai i tō hoa o mua i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori , ki te ngana rānei ki te tūtaki ki a rātou, he pai ake te karo i tēnei. Ka hiahia pea koe ki te pātai atu ki ō hoa mō tōna oranga me tōna wāhi noho. Heoi, ka whakatūpato a Nandita, "I ia wā ka toro atu koe ki taua tangata, ka kite koe i a ia, ka kōrero rānei ki a ia, ka hoki anō tō patunga, ā, ka hoki anō te mamae. Nō reira, āe, he tino whai hua te rautaki kore whakapā atu ki te ao tūturu me te tango i ngā mea kino i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te tere ake te wikitoria i te wehenga. Me mahi i tēnei kia ora rā anō koe i ngā wāhanga tuatahi o te wehenga, ā, ka tae atu ki tētahi wāhi pai ake i te hinengaro me te kare ā-roto."

7. Whakamutua te wā whakamomori

He mea noa te tere o te whakakore i te wehenga? Whakapono mai, ko te tere ake, ko te pai ake mōu. Engari ehara te whakaora i te mea kotahi, e rua rānei ngā rā. Kāore e taea te ārai i a koe kia mau tonu i roto i tō hinengaro. I ngā wā pēnei, he pai ki te whakamahara i a koe anō me mutu te whakaaroaro i tētahi wā kia taunga ai koe ki te auau o te oranga o ia rā. Ko te roa o tō takaro hei patunga mō te āhuatanga, ka uaua ake te puta atu i taua porowhita. Ko koe te mea tino mōhio ki te wā tika hei tapahi i te taura whakamutunga. Ka tūtohu mātou i ēnei e whai ake nei:

• Kāore e hoki anō ki ngā karere kuputuhi tawhito, ki ngā whakaahua tawhito rānei e puta ai ngā whakaaro pouri.
• Tuhia ki tō pakitara, whakatakotoria he whakamaharatanga, ka huri i tō tūnga whanaungatanga ki te 'takakau' i runga i te pāpāho pāpori
• Whiwhi i tētahi mea whakamiharo i roto i tō mamae, pērā i te kimi i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou, te haere rānei ki te whare takaro tinana hei whiwhi i te tinana i hiahia tonu koe
• Me mahi te mea e tika ana kia pai ake ai tō wairua engari kaua e pehi i ō kare ā-roto nā te mea ka arahi pea te pehi i ngā kare ā-roto ki te pouri

Pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Mea hei Āwhina i a Koe kia Ora i Muri i te Wehenga

8. Tirohia ngā mamae o te wehenga hei whara tinana

E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ko te mamae tinana me te whakakorenga pāpori pēnei i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga ka whakahohe i te wāhanga kotahi o te roro, arā, he rite tonu ngā tikanga io. Ko te kaupapa o te whakahua i tēnei meka i konei ko te whakaaro me rite tēnei mamae ki tētahi atu patunga tinana kua pā ki a koe. He rite tonu te kino o tēnei mamae.

Ki te kore e taea e koe te whakaatu i tō āhua harikoa tūturu i ngā wā katoa, kāore he aha. Kāore koe e whakaaro ka oma koe ki ngā mahi me te haere ki ngā pāti me te ringa whati. He aha rā te take e kite ai koe i ngā mamae o te wehenga i tētahi atu huarahi? Ko tētahi o ngā mea hei mahi i muri i te wehenga ko te kaua e whakapae i a koe anō. Pērā i ngā mate tinana, ka ora anō hoki tēnei kino kare ā-roto i te mutunga. I taua wā tonu, me manawanui noa koe, me whakangāwari hoki i a koe anō mō ​​te kore e ara ake i ngā wā katoa.

9. Ngā mea hei mahi i muri i te wehenga — Tuhia ō akoranga

He take tō te taenga mai o te tangata ki roto i tō tātou ao – kia noho tonu, kia whakaakona rānei he akoranga nui ki a tātou. Nō reira, ina tukua mai tēnei rēmana e te ao ki a koe, ka hangaia e koe he rēmana mai i taua rēmana. Hei whakarārangi i ō whakaaro hou i whiwhi mai i tēnei wehenga. Me whakatau hoki ngā mea e kore e whakaaetia e koe mō ō whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei.

E whakaatu ana tētahi rangahau ko te hunga e tuhituhi ana mō ngā āhuatanga pai me ngā āhuatanga o te wehenga ka nui ake ngā kare ā-roto pai (pērā i te whakamarie, te māia, te whakamana, te kaha, te harikoa, te hihiri, te whakamarie, me te makona) e pā ana ki te mutunga o taua whanaungatanga. He iti ake ō rātou kare ā-roto kino e whakararuraru ana i a rātou. Mena kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakaora i te wehenga, he pai pea te whakamātau i tēnei.

E mea ana a Nandita, "I muri i tō tukunga i te wā e tika ana ki a koe ki te whakaae ki te wehenga, ka taea e koe te titiro whakamuri ki tēnei hei tētahi o ngā wheako maha o te ao. Ko ia wheako, ahakoa he pai, he kino rānei, ka waiho mai he kai hei whakaaroaro mā tātou, hei whakaaroaro me te tango i ētahi akoranga mai i roto i tēnā mō te heke mai. Pērā ai, ka āwhina i tō hinengaro, tō tinana, me tō wairua ki te mōhio ki ngā mea hei tumanako atu ina uru anō koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga. Ka whakanui ake i a koe te mōhio, te pakeke, me te wheako."

Pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakatutuki i te Neke atu o tō Hoa o Mua

10. Tātarihia anō te wehenga (me te whanaungatanga anō hoki)

E mōhio ana koe me pēhea te wikitoria tere i te wehenga? Te whakahou i a koe anō hei tangata i waho o taua whanaungatanga. Ki te hiahia koe kia tipu ake, kia kaua e noho hei puranga pakaru, me pātai koe ki a koe anō i ngā pātai tūturu mō te wehenga. E ai ki tētahi rangahau , ko te kore e tautuhi anō i te āhua o te tangata ka whai wāhi ki te mamae i muri i te wehenga.

• I tino pā kino tō wehenga ki a koe?
• I reira ētahi āhuatanga whakamā ngā akoranga i akohia e koe mai i tēnei whanaungatanga kore angitu?
• He aha tāu i ako ai mō tō tuakiri me tō whanonga?
• He aha ngā āhuatanga kino o tō hoa i arahi ai i te wehenga?

Kia kitea e koe ngā whakautu ki ēnei pātai, ka nui ake tō māia me tō wairua pai.

11. Hoki atu ki waho ka tūtaki ki tētahi tangata pai

E mārama ana mātou kua mutu tō kōrua whanaungatanga i mua tata nei. Kua rumakina koe e te pouri o te wehenga, kāore pea koe i te hiahia ki te wehe atu i te rūma, me te kore rawa e tūtaki ki ētahi atu tāngata. Engari whakarongo mai ki a mātou, i te mea kei te tino ngana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei whakaora wawe i te wehenga. Kāore he huarahi e taea ai e koe te waiho i ngā maharatanga o mua ki te kore koe e whakatuwhera i te tatau ki ngā mea hou, ki ngā tāngata hou, me ngā kōrero hou. He ētahi whakaaro ā mātou:

• Kimihia ngā huarahi hei tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou. Tērā pea i te pāti a tētahi hoa, i te toa pukapuka, i te pāpāho pāpori, i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo hoa rānei pērā i a Bumble BFF.
• Kaua e whakatata atu ki ēnei tāngata i runga i te aroha. Ina hoki, kaua e uru atu ki tētahi hononga hou, kaua hoki e hoki anō ki te moe tāne i tēnei wā tonu.
• Kōrerorero, kata tahi. Kōrerohia he kōrero whai tikanga mō tētahi hiahia ōrite. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te whai whakaaro ki tō mamae.
• Ā tōna wā, ka whakakorengia e ēnei wheako hou ngā mea tawhito, ngā mea kino, ā, ka āwhina i a koe kia puta i te pōuriuri o te mamae.

Mō tēnei, ka whakapuaki a Nandita i tētahi kupu whakatūpato ki ā mātou kaipānui, "Ahakoa ngā whakamātautau, karohia te uru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga hou , nā te mea ka puta noa tēnei nā te mea e hiahia ana koe kia rongo anō i te aroha. Engari i te nuinga o te wā, ko ēnei kare ā-roto mai i tētahi, mai i ngā hoa hou rānei e rua, he mea papaku noa iho, he wā poto noa iho."

"Inaianei, kia pēhea te wawe o te wā mō tētahi atu whanaungatanga? Āe, ka waiho atu tēnā māu. He motuhake ia tangata, ia tangata, pērā anō hoki te tukanga whakaora. Tērā pea he torutoru ngā rā, he torutoru ngā marama, he roa ake rānei, i runga i te kaha o te whanaungatanga. Ko te mea nui kia nui ake tō mārie ki te whanaungatanga o mua me tōna mutunga i mua i tō neke atu ki te whanaungatanga e whai ake nei."

12. Tuhia he reta kāore anō kia tukuna ki tō hoa o mua

Kaua e pohehe, ehara tēnei i te whakaaro kia tukuna he reta riri ki tō hoa o mua mō te mamae i pā ki a koe. He tikanga āwhina tēnei hei āwhina i a koe ki te tukanga 'me pēhea te neke whakamua i muri i te wehenga'. Whakapono mai, kāore rānei, he tino whai hua tēnei nā te mea ka hoatu he wā ki a koe ki te whakaaroaro i a koe anō. Anei te mahi:

• Ringihia ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto nui mō tēnei wehenga ki roto i tētahi reta e tuku ana ki tō hoa o mua.
• Ahakoa kei te riri koe ki a rātou, ahakoa kei te hiahia koe ki te whakapuaki i tō whakawhetai, ki te rapu murunga hara rānei, ki te poroporoaki noa rānei mō te wā whakamutunga, whakamāramahia kia mārama.
• Nā, haehaea atu, huna rānei ki roto i tētahi pukapuka tuhi, kei a koe te tikanga
• Engari ko te whiwhi i tēnei putea kare mai i tō uma ka mama ake koe i ngā wā tekau, ā, ka tere ake te tukanga whakaora

Mō tēnei, e kī ana a Nandita, "He maha ngā huarahi hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru, pērā i te tuhi reta whaki hara ki tō hoa o mua, ka tahuna, ka tahuna rānei. Ka taea e koe te hamama ki te whakaata, te kōrero rānei ki tō pūnaha tautoko kare ā-roto – ki ō hoa tata me tō whānau. He tino āwhina ēnei whanonga katoa i runga i te āhua o te tangata e pāngia ana e ngā mamae o te wehenga."

Pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te mōhio kua mutu te whanaungatanga? 25 ngā tohu e tohu ana i te mutunga

13. Mahia tetahi mea pai hei whakaora i te wehenga o tetahi

Ki taku whakaaro kei te kotahi te whakaaro o tātou katoa, ko te nuinga o ngā wehenga he kare ā-roto kino. Ka pōuri tonu koe i ngā wā katoa, ā, ka tino uaua ki te kimi i te huarahi pai i waenganui i tēnei mamae nui. Ko tāu e hiahia ana, e taku kaipānui, he pikinga dopamine, he mea whakakaha wairua hei tango i tō hinengaro i te mamae ahakoa mō tētahi wā poto. E ai ki tētahi rangahau , he rautaki pai te whakararuraru hei whakaoho i ngā kare ā-roto pai i roto i te horopaki o te wehenga aroha.

Mena kua pau āu mahi i muri i te wehenga atu i te hoa rangatira, he whakaaro tino pai tā mātou. Kāore he mea e rite ana te whakahari me te whai hua ki te mahi atawhai. Kia noho noa ki te taha o tētahi, mahi i tētahi mea atawhai, menemene ki tētahi. Ka taea e koe te mahi tūao i tētahi wharekai hupa, i tētahi whare tiaki kararehe rānei, te āwhina i tētahi me tana putea taumaha, te tunu kai rānei mā ō mātua. I a koe e whakapai ake ana i tō rātou rā, ka mārama ake tō rā i tō inanahi.

14. Whakawhanakehia ētahi tikanga hauora hei whakaora wawe i te wehenga

Kāore pea koe e wareware rawa ki te tangata i arohaina e koe me tō ngākau me tō wairua. Ahakoa kāore rātou i roto i tō kōrero i ēnei rā, kaua tēnā e aukati i a koe ki te noho ora me te puāwai hei tangata. Kāore te mamae e memeha i roto i te rā kotahi, engari ka memeha haere i roto i te wā, te auau, me te kaha. Hei whakatikatika i tō oranga i muri i te wehenga , ka taea e koe te whakauru i ētahi tikanga tiaki-whaiaro māmā ki roto i tō mahinga o ia rā:

• Kia mau ki te akuaku me te tiaki i tō kai hei whakaora mai i roto
• Tīmatahia te tuhi i ō kare ā-roto me ō kare ā-roto e rerekē ana mō tō hoa o mua.
• Whakaharatauhia te whakawhetai. Ka taea e koe te pupuri i tētahi pukapuka whakawhetai o ia rā, me te tuhi mō tētahi mea e whakawhetai ana koe.
• Kimihia he mahi whakangahau hou, akohia he pūkenga hou – Mā tēnei koe e āwhina kia noho pukumahi, kia noho tonu hoki i te ara whai hua
• Kōrero ki tētahi hoa, ki tētahi mema rānei o te whānau i ia rā, ahakoa he tekau meneti noa iho
• Whakauru atu ki tētahi momo tikanga whakapakari tinana, yoga, whakangungu tinana uaua rānei
• Kia nui ake te wā e whakaipoipo ai koe. Whakamātauria tētahi wharekai hou, hikoi takitahi rānei – Ko tāu te whiriwhiri!
• Whakaaroaro. Ka whakamarie i tō hinengaro, ka whānui ake hoki ō tirohanga hei arotake i ngā mea o mua, hei whakatakoto whāinga hou hoki mō ngā rā kei te heke mai.

15. Kimihia tō 'wā mōku'

He maha ā tātou kōrero mō te whakapau i te wā kounga me ō tātou whanaunga, engari e hia ngā wā ka wehea e tātou ētahi wā waatea hei pārekareka ki tō tātou ake hoa? Ka roa pea te wā e pau ana i ngā whanaungatanga. Ina aroha koe, ka noho tō hoa rangatira me tō whanaungatanga hei kaupapa matua māu, ā, ka waiho ō hiahia me ō wawata whaiaro hei muri. Nā, i muri i tēnei wehenga, ko koe te kaiārahi o tō ake ao, tirohia anō te rārangi hiahia i hangaia e koe i te kāreti, ka tīmata ki te whakaoti i ngā pouaka kau.

Ki te rapu āwhina ngaio koe, e kī ana ngā tohunga whanaungatanga ko te aroha ki a koe anō me waiho hei kaupapa matua mō tō rautaki whakakore i te wehenga. E kī ana a Devaleena, "Kia tūpato ki a koe anō. Ko te kupu ka whakamahia e au ko te haumi ki a koe anō. Me āwhina ō whakatau katoa i tō tipu kare ā-roto ina ngana ana koe ki te whakatau i te mokemoke."

Hei takitahi, e ono ngā matea matua o tātou katoa – te kare ā-roto, te tinana, te hinengaro, te mahi, te moepuku, me te wairua. Me whakarite kia tutuki pai ēnei whakaritenga, me ngā huarahi katoa kua tūtohutia e mātou, kia tere ai te hoki mai.

Āe, koinei te huarahi. He mahere tino whai hua hei whakatau i te pouri i muri i te wehenga uaua. Kia maumahara, ko te wehenga o ngā whanaungatanga he wāhanga nui o ō tātou oranga. I ia wā, ka puta mai koe me te kaha ake me ngā māramatanga hou, ngā huarahi rerekē ki te mārama ki te tangata, me ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te hinengaro tangata. Ko te mea nui kia kaua e ngaro tō ake tuakiri i a koe e rapu ana i te huarahi hei wikitoria tere i te wehenga. E mōhio ana mātou ka taea e koe te whakahaere pai me te whakatika i tō ngākau, nā te mea kei tō taha a Bonobology, tō anahera kaitiaki.

Me pēhea te wehe i te whanaungatanga ki tētahi tāne? 12 ngā huarahi hei whakangawari i te mamae

18 Ngā Tohu e Ngaro Ana To Hoa I A Koe, Ā, E Hiahia Ana Kia Hoki Mai Koe

9 Ngā Huarahi Tohunga hei Tuku i te Mamae me te Tūkino i roto i ngā Hononga

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

Tirohia ta maatau Tukanga Etita

Tutaki ki ta maatau Poari Arotake

Tiri Urupare

He aha ō urupare?

×

āwhina Pūrongohia he Hapa He mea anō (kōrerohia mai he aha te horopaki)

Tuku