Te Hiranga o te Tukunga i te Tangata kia Haere

Porohia te aroha

"Ki te aroha koe ki tētahi, tukua kia haere noa. Ki te hoki mai rātou, nōu rātou. Ki te kore, kāore rātou i pērā." Kua rongo katoa tātou i tēnei whakataukī rongonui mō te hiranga o te tuku i te tangata kia haere. Engari he aha te tikanga o tēnei? E whakapono ana ētahi kei roto i ngā ringaringa o te ao tūroa te mea katoa. Kāore he aha te nui o tō aroha ki tētahi mēnā kāore te ao tūroa i tō taha.

Heoi, ko tāku whakamārama i tēnei whakataukī tawhito, kāore e taea e koe te akiaki i tētahi kia aroha ki a koe, kia noho tahi me koe, kia koroheke tahi me koe. Me hoatu e koe ki a rātou te herekoretanga ki te whiriwhiri i a koe i runga ake i te tangata me te katoa. Ahakoa te nui o te inoi, te tohe, me te inoi, e kore e taea te pupuri i a rātou kia noho.

Ahakoa te tuku i a koe, ehara i te mea me mutu tō aroha ki a rātou. Ka taea e koe te aroha ki tētahi, ā, ka tukuna tonutia rātou. Kāore koe e whakarērea ana e koe, e huna ana rānei i tō aroha ki a rātou. Kei te waiho noa koe i a koe hei kaupapa matua.

He aha tātou ka pupuri tonu ai i te hunga e arohaina ana e tātou

Ripanga o Ihirangi

He aha te uaua o te tuku i te tangata kia haere, inā koa ko te hunga e arohaina ana e tātou? Nā te mea he ngāwari te pupuri. He mea whakamarie te pupuri nā te mea ko te whakaaro ki te tuku i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe – ka puta he āwangawanga kāore pea tātou e rite ki te aro atu. E wehi ana tātou i te koretake ka puta mai. Ka tino mōhiotia te mamae o te pupuri, ā, ka wareware tātou ko ia tō tātou hoariri, ā, kei te kino ia i a tātou.

E tumanako ana tātou mā te pupuri i tētahi e arohaina ana e tātou, ka taea e tātou te pupuri i te aroha me te harikoa i roto i ō tātou ao ake ake. Kāore i te tino pono tēnā. Ko te nui o tō piri ki tētahi, me te akiaki i a ia kia noho ki roto i tō ao, ka nui ake te āhua o tō rātou whakamomori me te mauhere. Ehara tēnā i te aroha. He herekore pai te aroha. Ko te wā tēnei e noho herekore ai kōrua ko te tangata e arohaina ana e koe i roto i te whanaungatanga.

He tokomaha te hunga e whakaaro ana, ki te aroha koe ki tētahi, ka nekehia e koe te rangi me te whenua mōna. Engari he pai rānei te ngana ki te mahi i ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia arohaina koe e tētahi atu tangata, ahakoa te ngaronga o koe anō? Ae, ka whai wāhi koe ki te whai hua o tētahi whanaungatanga. Ka whakapau kaha ōrite koe. Ka whakaae ōrite koe. Ka whakaute ōrite koe, ka whakatakoto rohe.

Engari he aha te mea ka puta ina kore taua taurite? Ka hinga koe. Kei runga koe i ngā manawataki rerekē, i a koe e ngana ana kia kotahi te whārangi. Ka moe koe, ka ara ake i runga i te moenga kotahi kāore i kite i te aroha mō ngā wiki maha, mō ngā marama rānei.

Ko ētahi atu take e mau tonu ai tātou:

Kei te tino hiahia koe ki te whakaaro kia arohaina koe e rātou. He rārangi angiangi kei waenganui i te arohaina me te aroha ki te whakaaro o te arohaina. Ki te whakapoauau koe i ēnei mea e rua, ka roa ake tō pupuri i tētahi tangata i te mea e tika ana.
E wehi ana koe i te mamae ka pā mai i te tukunga atu. I tēnei wā, kua pāngia kē koe e te mamae nui. Hei tāpiri atu ki tēnā, ko te tukanga tukunga atu katoa te āhua nei kāore e taea te whakamanawanui, ā, kāore koe i te mōhio mēnā kei reira ngā huarahi ki te kimi anō i te harikoa me te kore o tēnei tangata
Kei te tumanako tonu koe ka pai ngā mea i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa, tō hiahia aroha rānei. Tērā pea, i roto i tōu ngākau e mōhio ana koe he koretake tēnei tumanako. Me i hiahia rāua ki te noho, kua noho tonu rāua.
Kāore koe i te tino mōhio mō te heke mai. He whakamataku pea te heke mai, engari me whakawhirinaki koe ki te ao whānui. Ina kati tetahi tatau, ka huaki tetahi atu.

Kāore e kore ka haere tahi te aroha me ngā kare ā-roto pai, kino hoki. Ka tae mai i ngā wā pai, kino hoki. He aroha tonu ina kore koe e harikoa? He aroha tonu ina huna e koe ō kare ā-roto tūturu? Ehara rawa i te aroha ina huna e koe ō pouri, ā, ka whakaari kei te pai katoa. Ina kore he ngākau māhaki, he harikoa rānei, kua tae te wā kia tukuna atu e tātou.

He aha te take o te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga e mamae tonu ana koe? Ae, ko ia tangata te kawenga mō tōna ake harikoa. Kāore e taea e koe te tumanako ka hari koe i tētahi atu. Engari ehara i te mea kei a tētahi atu te mana ki te whakararu i tō koiora.

Pānui e pā ana: Te Hoa me te Whanaungatanga – Ngā Rerekētanga Taketake e 10

Ka taea te whakanui ake i te tangata?

He mea maori te kore e tipu ake i te tangata. Tērā te wā ka kore koe e tipu ake i ō hoa me ō hoa aroha. E whakaū ana tētahi rangahau a Te Whare Wānanga o Oxford, i te 25 tau te pakeke ka tīmata te kore e tipu ake i te hoa o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Ko te take matua o tēnei, i a tātou e tipu ake ana, he rerekē ā tātou whāinga i te ao. He rerekē ā tātou kaupapa matua.

Kāore te ao e pumau. Ka puta tonu mai ngā panonitanga i ia taahiraa o te ara. Ka tipu tātou, ka huri, me ō tātou whanaungatanga ki ō tātou hoa. Ka mau tonu ngā hoahoa, engari kāore e tūtaki pinepine. Kāore he riri, he kare ā-roto kino rānei ki a rātou, ka mutu noa iho, ā, kāore e kite i te hiahia kia noho tahi tātou me rātou pērā i tō taiohinga. Ka pērā anō hoki mō ngā hoa tokorua i roto i te whanaungatanga aroha.

Me pēhea te whakatau āhea me tuku te tangata kia haere?

E rima tekau pea ngā wā e kī mai ana te tangata ki a koe i te rā e aroha ana ia ki a koe. Engari ko te pātai, kei te arohaina koe e āna mahi? I kī mai taku hoa aroha o mua, "Kāore he tangata e aroha ana ki a koe pērā i ahau." Nā aua kupu ahau i tino miharo ai i ia wā. Hei whakarapopototanga, i tinihanga ia i ahau . Ehara i te mea he kōrero reka, he mahi whakahirahira rānei.

Mō te whakapau kaha. I taku mahi i ngā mea katoa hei pupuri i tōna harikoa, i haere ia ki te hoko putiputi mō tētahi atu. I te mutunga, kāore he hua o āna kupu nā te mea me whakapau kaha tonu ngā hoa e rua kia mau tonu ai te hauora me te rangimarie o te whanaungatanga. Kāore e taea e koe anake te mahi i ngā mea katoa i a koe e kawe ana i a koe ki te rā, e kōrero ana i ētahi kupu aroha me ngā kupu reka, e tuku ana i a koe ki te kāinga, kātahi ka hoki ki te kāinga ki te moe me tētahi atu.

I aroha ahau ki a ia nā te mea i hari ahau i te aroha ki a ia, ā, i tino harikoa ahau i te whakaaro ka aroha mai ia ki ahau. He harikoa nui. I te korenga o te aroha, te whakapau kaha, me te pono i riro mai i ahau, ka tukuna ia e ahau. Engari i roa te mamae i pā mai i a ia. I roto i ngā kupu māmā, i ngaro taku tumanako.

I muri i te maha o ngā whakarihariha ki a au anō, te manukanuka kāore i whakatauhia i muri i te wehenga , me ngā āwangawanga kua pupū ake, ka mōhio ahau kei te moumou noa ahau i ōku rā ki te hiahia kia teka tetahi mea. Kāore e taea e au te hoki whakamuri ki te wā o mua ki te mea i a ia kia whakakorea aua mea. He aha ahau ka moumou noa ai i ōku tau ki te pouri mō tētahi kāore i mahi i te iti rawa o te whanaungatanga? I taua wā ka mōhio ahau kua tae ki te wā ki te anga whakamua me te hiki ake i tōku mahunga.

Anei ētahi tohu kua tae ki te wā hei tuku atu i a rātou:

Ina wareware koe ki te āhua o te harikoa
Ina tino teitei rawa ō āwangawanga, ka nui haere tō kino ki a koe anō i ia rā, i ia rā
Ina tonu koe e rapu kupu whakamāori ana mō tō hoa, e tinihanga ana rānei i a koe anō kia whakapono ka pai ake ngā mea
He mea ā-tinana, ā-whatumanawa hoki ngā mea katoa whakangenge kau koe
Kei te pēhia koe e te taumahatanga, e te matewai hoki
Ina pupuri tonu koe i te ora

Ina tukuna e koe tētahi, kāore e taea e koe te tumanako ka wareware rawa koe ki a ia. Ka mau tonu ngā whakaaro, ngā maharatanga, me ngā whara mō ngā tau maha i muri i te neke atu. Koinei te wā me whakamahara koe ki a koe anō mēnā he mea tika kia whakaarohia, kia puritia hoki, nā te mea he nui ake te kino o te pupuri i te tuku.

Hei whakamutunga, Te Mahi Tukunga

Kua tino māmā rawa te kupu "Tukua" i ēnei rā. I whara koe i tētahi? Tukua. Kāore i tae ki te whare wānanga o ō moemoeā? Tukua. I tautohetohe koe ki tō hoa? Tukua. Te aro atu ki te matenga o tētahi e arohaina ana ? Tukua. I roto i tēnei mahi, te āhua nei kua wareware tātou ki te mārama ki te mamae me te uaua e pā ana ki tētahi tangata hei wikitoria i tētahi mea. Ehara te tuku i te rongoā tere mō ngā mea katoa e mamae ana i tō ngākau me tō hinengaro. He roa te wā. He mahi tino puhoi. Engari ka tae koe ki reira i te mutunga.

Āe, he aha te āhua o te ngākau ina ako koe ki te tuku. He uaua, āe. Ka mamae te tuku engari he mea tika mō tō tipu ake. Ina ako koe ki te tuku i te ngākau, ka māmā ake tō wairua. Ka taea e te wehenga, te ngaronga rānei o te aroha te kawe mai i te nui o te pouri, ā, ka kitea koe i roto i te matotoru o ngā wāhanga o te pouri.

Ina te āhua nei kāore e taea te haere, he mea āwhina kia mahara ko te wāhanga whakamutunga o te pouri ko te whakaae me te tuku. Ā, he pai tēnā mō ngā pō moe kore me ngā urunga roimata. Me mārama koe ki te take i puta ai. Kia tae rā anō koe ki te whakaae ki tēnei mea, me kimi e koe he aha tāu e hiahia ana ki te tango mai i tēnei wheako hei āwhina i a koe ki te neke whakamua me te noho hei tangata pai ake.

Tohutohu Matua

Ko te tuku i a rātou ehara i te mea me mutu tō aroha ki a rātou
Ko te whakapau kaha, te whakaae tahi, me te pono i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka whakatau mēnā ka noho tonu koe, ka whawhai mō tōu heke mai, ka tuku rānei i a koe, ka arotahi ki te neke whakamua.
He mea maori te tangi mō te ngaronga o te aroha engari me anga whakamua tonu koe

Ko te whakaae te kī ki te hinengaro tika. I aroha koe. Kāore i angitu. I wehe kōrua. Ko te whakaaro ki te tuku i te mea i whakaaro koe ko tō oranga ka tino mamae, engari ehara i te mea kāore e taea. Kua whai wāhi pai taua whanaungatanga ki te tangata kua riro mai i a koe i tēnei rā. Arohaina. Engari kaua e ngakaukore mō te ngaronga, kaua hoki e ngana ki te pupuri i ngā toenga o taua mea. Ko te roa o tō pupuri i taua taura, ko te nui ake o te haehae i tō kiri.

He aha te tikanga o te 'Pupuri wāhi mō tētahi', ā, me pēhea te mahi?

Te Mate Aroha - He aha te mea, ngā tohu, me pēhea te whakatau

9 Ngā Tohu Kua Tae Te Wā Hei Whakataa I Te Hononga

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.