Tohutohu a te Tohunga – Āhea me Whakamutu te Whakaipoipo

Hei te tangata kua mārenatia, tera pea ngā rā e rite ana tō oranga ki te rangi. Tērā pea ētahi rā tino kino, ā, ka whakamatautauria koe ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa e ai ki tētahi rangahau i mahia i te tau 2020, kua heke ngā reiti whakarere i ngā tau tata nei, e 40% o ngā marena katoa ka mutu ki te whakarere. Ki te whakaarohia he rite tonu te tūponotanga o te angitu o te marena ki te whiu moni, me pēhea te mōhio ko tehea te wā e tika ana kia tiakina te whanaungatanga, ā, ko tehea te wā hei whakamutu i te marena?

Ka huri pea ngā marena hei moemoeā kino i ētahi wā. Engari, ka tino aro atu koe ki te ngana kia angitu, ā, ka wareware koe ki ngā tohu rama e kī ana kua mutu tō marena. Kaitohutohu Shazia Saleem, he tohunga ki te whakarere me ngā wehenga, e āwhina ana i a tātou kia mārama ki ēnei tohu ārai.

Āhea koe me whakaaro pono ai ki te whakarē i te marena?

E hiahia ana te katoa kia pumau tonu tā rātou marena. Nō reira, ina pāngia te tangata e tētahi raruraru i roto i tā rātou whanaungatanga, ko tā rātou mahi tere ko te whakatika. Engari, i ētahi wā ka mahi tātou ki tua atu i ngā wāhanga o te marena e mate haere ana, ka waiho kia kore he kōhatu kia hurihia, ā, kāore e taea te whakaae kua roa te tanumia o te marena.

Hatia e whakamārama ana, "Kāore he tangata tino tika. Ā, ina marenatia ngā tāngata tino hē e rua, he mārama kāore te marena e tino tika. He maha ngā wāhi e hiahia ana koe ki te whakaae. Heoi, ki te mea kei te mamae tō marena i a koe, ā, kāore e taea e koe te mahi i te tikanga, ā, kei te whakararuraruhia tō oranga hinengaro, tinana, kare ā-roto rānei, ko tēnei kua kino te whanaungatanga, ā, koinei te wā tika hei whakamutu i te marena.”

Āhea te Whakamutu i te Marena – E 7 Ngā Tohu e Whakakitea ana e te Tohunga

He motuhake ia marena, pērā i te hunga e uru ana ki roto. Ko ngā mea e takahi ana i te marena e whakawhirinaki ana ki te whakamāramatanga a te tokorua mō ngā rohe hauora me ngā rohe kino. Heoi, ko ētahi mea e kiia ana he tohu kino i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mena kei te pāngia koe e ēnei āhuatanga, koinei ngā tohu ka mutu tō marena i roto i te whakarere.

Mō ētahi atu māramatanga e tautokona ana e ngā tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou hongere YouTube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

1. He tūkino kei roto i te whanaungatanga

I whakaaro a Myra, he kaipānui pukapuka 33-tau te pakeke nō Phoenix, he pukuriri poto engari he ngākau nui tana hoa tāne a Mark – tae noa ki te rima marama o te marena. Koinei te tīmatanga o te tukino. "Me te mea kua huri ia i mua tonu i ōku kanohi. I tētahi wā ka taea e ia te tino aroha, ā, i tētahi wā ka huri ia hei taniwha riri."

"Ko ngā whakahua katoa mō te ngana ki te whakatika i tana take riri ka riri nui ia. I mau tonu ahau. I kī atu ahau ki aku hoa: kua mutu taku marena, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me aha ahau, me pēhea rānei te puta atu i tēnei āhuatanga. Nā rātou ahau i āwhina. Nā rātou te take i wātea ai ahau i taua whanaungatanga.”

He uaua te wehe atu i tētahi whanaungatanga tukino. Ka wehea koe e te hoa tukino i ētahi atu. Ka tangohia hoki e rātou te tautoko pūtea, ā, i ia wā ka kōrero koe mō te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga, ka kino haere te tukino. E ai ki tētahi rangahau, ko te tutu ā-whare te take o ngā hara katoa. Ā, i roto i te 76% o ēnei take, ko ngā wāhine ngā patunga. Nō reira, i te wā ka tukino te whanaungatanga, koinā te wā me mutu te tokorua. He atawhai tō hiahia ki te tautoko i tō hoa tukino i te huarahi ki te ora, engari kaua e whakakapi i tā rātou putea patu i roto i te tukanga.

Abuse kāore e whakaaetia, kāore e pā ki te nui, ki te maha rānei o ngā wā kua pā mai. Ahakoa kotahi noa te wā, he kino rawa atu. Ki te mea he hoa tōu e whakaaro ana āhea me mutu te marena i roto i te tukino, me kī atu kua tae te wā.

Kei te Ture Ārai i te Tūkino ā-Whānau (FVPSA) he raina waea 24-hāora e wātea ana mō ngā tāngata i pāngia e te tukino ā-whare, e te tukino ā-whānau rānei. Ka taea te uru atu ki tēnei raina waea mā te nama waea kore utu puta noa i te motu 1-800-799-7233, 1-800-787-3224 rānei, (206) 518-9361 rānei. Mēnā he āhuatanga ohorere nui, waea atu ki te 9-1-1.

Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Hononga Hauora, Ngā Hononga Kino, Ngā Hononga Tūkino – He aha te Rerekētanga?

2. He rerekē ngā mea e hiahia ana koe i te ao

Kāore he tangata e tino ōrite ana, ā, ko ēnei rerekētanga te mea e whakamere ai te marena. Heoi, ki te nui rawa ngā rerekētanga i waenganui i te tokorua, ka uaua ake te noho. Kāore pea koe e hiahia ki te whānau tamariki, engari he hoa tāu e hiahia ana. I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, kāore e tika kia tumanakohia tō hoa kia whakarērea ō rāua hiahia kia mau tonu ai te marena.

Ka whanake haere te tangata i te taha o te wā. Ā, i ētahi wā, ka rerekē rawa atu tō whanaketanga i tō hoa rangatira. Heoi, he mea kāore e taea te whakahaere. "Ngā matea tinana/kare ā-roto/hinengaro, ngā uara, ngā mahi, ngā āhuatanga ā muri ake nei – tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te peka ke i tētahi, i ētahi rānei o ēnei āhuatanga. Ko tētahi o ngā mea hei maumahara i mua i te whakarērea o te marena ko te tautuhi mēnā ka taea te whakatika i ēnei rerekētanga. Ki te kore, he pai ake te whakamutu i ngā mea," te whakamārama a Shazia. I ētahi wā, kāore e ranea te aroha.

3. Anei te wā hei whakamutu i te marena: ina kino te whanaungatanga

Ehara i te mea ngaro ka noho hoha ngā marena i muri i tētahi wā. Ā, i te ngaronga o te mea hou, ka memeha haere te manawanui, ā, ka ngaro haere te aro nui i whakamahia e kōrua tetahi ki tetahi i roto i te wā. Ka pū ake te manukanuka me te riri, ā, i mua i tō mōhio, ka puta mai ō... kua kore e pai te whanaungatanga.

Ko te kore whakamana i ngā kare ā-roto, i ngā wheako rānei o tō hoa rangatira, te whakaatu i ō raruraru ki runga i a rātou, te whakamātau i ngā mea e pā ana ki te whanaungatanga, me te takaro i te kēmu whakapae he tohu katoa ēnei o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora kore. Ko te noho i roto i tēnei momo whanaungatanga he mea mamae mō te hunga katoa e whai wāhi ana, tae atu ki ngā tamariki. Ina kite koe i ēnei tauira kino e noho tonu ana i roto i tō marena, ā, ka horapa ki roto i ō whanaungatanga katoa, koinei te wā tika hei whakamutu i te whanaungatanga i roto i te marena.

4. Te kore e hiahia ki te huri, ki te rapu āwhina rānei

Āhea te wā tika kia mutu ai te marena o te tokorua? E kōrero ana te kaipānui 39-tau te pakeke o Patricia nō San Jose, "Kāore e taea e au te wareware i ngā tohu kei te hē rawa atu taku marena. I mōhio ahau ka uaua haere ngā marena i te roanga o te wā, engari i whakaaro tonu ahau ka taea e māua ko Thomas te wikitoria i ngā mea katoa. Engari i rerekē ngā mea i te wā i uru ai ia ki te puremu.

"Ahakoa te kaha o taku ngana, kāore e taea e ia te kite kei te raru tō māua marena. Ina kōrero ahau ki a ia mō ngā raruraru e pā ana ki a māua, ka riri ia, ka kore rānei e aro ki ahau. Ka mutu wawe te kōrero mō te tūtaki ki tētahi kaiārahi, te rapu āwhina rānei. Ki taku whakaaro kua mutu taku marena, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me aha." Engari, he tokomaha rawa ngā tāngata kei waho e mōhio ana ki te āhua o te noho i roto i ngā hu o Patricia. E ai ki tētahi rangahau, 56% o ngā whakarere he hoa rangatira kotahi tōna e hiahia nui ana ki ngā mahi puremu. Ki te kitea koe i roto i tētahi wāhi ōrite i roto i tō oranga, koinei te wā hei whakamutu i te marena.

5. He ngoikore rawa ō take mō te noho tonu ki te marena

Ko tētahi o ngā mea tino kitea, ā, e kore e arohia, ngā tohu ka mutu tō marena i te whakarere Ko te wā tēnei e pātai pinepine ai koe ki a koe anō: He aha ahau i roto i tēnei marena? Mena nā ngā tamariki, nā te hapori rānei, nā te kore rānei koe e hiahia kia noho mokemoke, he tohu tēnei kei ngā wāhanga whakamutunga koe o tētahi marena e tata mate ana, ā, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakaae kua mutu tō marena.

"E whakaaro ana te nuinga o te tangata he kaupapa tapu te marena, ā, he hononga tino motuhake, he hononga ataahua hoki," te kī a Shazia. "Engari, ko te marena hauora kore ka nui ake te kino i tā te nuinga o te tangata e mōhio ana. He tokomaha rawa ngā tāngata e mau ana i roto i ngā marena kino nā te pēhanga hapori, nā te pēhanga pūtea rānei, e whakaaro ana rānei rātou ka uaua te oranga o tā rātou tamaiti i te pakaru o te marena. He maha tonu ā rātou warewaretanga he tino kino te taiao kāinga e hangaia ana e te marena kino ki te hauora hinengaro me te hauora kare ā-roto o te tamaiti."

He hononga hoa te marena. Ka whiriwhiri koe ki te noho tahi me tēnei tangata nā te mea ko ia te tangata e whakaaro ana koe ka tū ki tō taha i a koe e anga atu ana ki te ao. Ina mutu te hononga hoa mō taua hononga, ka noho hei mea akiaki, koinei te wā hei whakamutu i te marena.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakarite i a koe anō me ā tamariki mō te whakarere?

6. Kei te puremu tonu tō hoa

He rerekē te tikanga o te pono ki ngā tāngata rerekē. Ki ētahi, he pai ngā mea katoa mena kāore koe e moe tahi me tētahi atu, engari ki ētahi atu, he rite tonu te titiro tūpono ki te puremu. He pai ake te kōrero mō te tikanga o te pono ki a kōrua ko tō hoa i te tīmatanga tonu.

Engari kotahi te mea e tino mārama ana: he mea nui te pono o tētahi whanaungatanga. Ā, ki te mea ko tō hoa e puremu ana i ngā wā katoa Ahakoa kua kōrero koe ki a rātou mō ngā rohe e whakaaetia ana, he tohu tēnā kua mutu tō kōrua marena. Ka kite ētahi i ā rātou hapa, ā, ka whakatika i te wā tuatahi. Āhea te wā tika hei whakamutu i te marena? Ina tinihanga tonu tō hoa ki a koe. E kore rātou e huri, ā, he maumau te whakaaro ki tētahi atu mea.

7. Kāore he whakaute i roto i te marena

Tērā pea ko tētahi o ngā pou tino nui o te marena (ko te pou tino warewarehia hoki) ko te whakaute. Kāore he marena e roa te tū me te kore taua pou. Heoi, ka roa te noho marena, ka nui haere te pānga o tēnei pou. I te nui haere o ngā pakanga, i te nui haere hoki o ngā rerekētanga, ka memeha haere te whakaute o kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira tetahi ki tetahi.

Ko te whakaiti tonu i tō hoa, te whakaiti rānei i a rātou, ahakoa i te wāhi tūmataiti, i te aroaro o te marea rānei, te whakaiti i ō rātou āwangawanga me ngā raruraru, te kore aro ki a rātou ina ngana ana rātou ki te kōrero ki a koe, te whakamutu rānei i a rātou, te tawai rānei i a rātou ina whakaraeraetia ana rātou, he mea kino ēnei. ngā huarahi noa ki te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi. Ahakoa kāore e taea i ngā wā katoa te aro tetahi ki tetahi, ki te mea he tauira pumau tēnei i roto i ō taunekeneke me tō hoa rangatira, koinei te wā tika hei whakamutu i te whanaungatanga i roto i te marena.

Te Whakamutu me te Whakatutuki i te Mamae

Kāore e taea te whakakore ko te whakamutu i te marena me te wehe atu i tō hoa rangatira tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua ka taea e te tangata te mahi. Ehara i te mea ka puta he kōhao nui i roto i te pēke anake, engari ka puta he kōhao nui i roto i te ngākau. Ahakoa ka hoki mai te moni, ko te kōhao nui i roto i te ngākau ka uaua ki te whakaora. E kī ana a Shazia, "He maha ngā tāngata e pōhēhē ana ki te mamae i te wehenga atu i tētahi marena kino. E whakaaro ana rātou, "Mēnā he kino rawa te marena, he aha ahau i tino pouri ai?"

Hei tāna anō, "He mea noa te pouri mō te pakaru o te marena ahakoa te kino. He nui te wā, ngā kare ā-roto, me ngā mahi i whakapaua e koe ki te marena. Ahakoa he wā poto noa iho, i hono tonu kōrua ki tō hoa rangatira i ngā taha kare ā-roto, ā-tinana, me te hinengaro. Nō reira, he mea tino noa kia mamae koe."

"Ko tētahi o ngā mea nui hei maumahara i mua i te whakarērea o te marena, ehara i te mea ngāwari. Ko te mea nui i konei ko te whakaae. Me mahi koe i tēnei." whakaae kua mutu tō marenaAhakoa ō mahi katoa, kāore te marena i pumau, ā, kāore e taea te mau tonu. Me tuku e koe te whai wāhi ki a koe anō ki te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto. Kia rongo i te mamae, kia tukatuka i te mamae, kia whai wā ki te whakaora, ā, i te mutunga, kia neke atu.”

Ahakoa te āhua kāore e taea te whakarere i tētahi marena kino, he rite tonu te kino o te noho tonu i roto i taua whanaungatanga kino. Ehara i te mea ko tō hauora hinengaro me te hauora kare ā-roto anake ka pā ki a koe, engari ko tō hoa rangatira me tō whānau katoa.

He mea nui kia mahi i tō marena, engari he mea nui anō hoki kia mōhio koe ki te wā e hinga ana koe i roto i te pakanga, me te wā hoki e mutu ai te whanaungatanga. Ki te kore e taea e koe te whakahaere i ngā mea ahakoa ō mahi katoa, he mea nui kia whakaae kua mutu tō marena, kia ngana ai ki te neke atu i taua whanaungatanga.

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