He aha te tikanga ina kii tetahi kei te rapu 'tetahi mea noa'?

"E hoa, aroha mai mō te korenga o tāu karere kuputuhi. He iti noa iho aku whakamahinga o ēnei taupānga whakaipoipo, ina wātea rānei ahau, nā te mea he mea noa iho tāku e rapu ana. Ki te hiahia koe ki tēnā, me peke atu tātou i tēnei wā tuku karere kuputuhi katoa, ā, me inu pea tātou i te wiki e tū mai nei?"

Ki te mea kua tae atu koe ki te pito o te whiwhi karere pēnei, kua rongo rānei koe i tētahi mea rite i roto i ō porowhita pāpori, whakaarohia koinei tō whakaurunga whaimana ki te ao o te whakaipoipo noa me ōna āheinga katoa. He maha ngā wā ka rerekē te ia o te whakaipoipo ki ngā mea katoa kua akohia e koe mō te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga. 

I a tātou e tipu ake ana, ko ngā mea katoa i mātakihia e tātou i roto i ngā kiriata, i pānuihia rānei i roto i ngā pukapuka, he mea mō te aroha mutunga kore, he aroha ngākau nui i mau mō ngā tau, ā, i te mutunga ka haria ki te urupā. Kua whakaakona tātou katoa ki te rapu i a 'Mr. Right', i 'Te kōtiro tino tika' rānei. He wāhanga katoa tēnei o Te Mahere, tika? Kimihia te mahi tino tika, kimihia te tangata tika hei marena, whānau tamariki, ā, kua oti i a koe ngā upoko nui e toru o 'Me pēhea te Noho Harikoa'. 

Ahakoa rā, ahakoa he nui ngā hua ka puta mai i te rapunga mō 'te mea kotahi' i te wā roa, i ētahi wā ka taea e koe te ngenge. Ehara i te mea ko te katoa he Hinengaro. Nō reira, whakapono mai ki ahau ina kī atu ahau he onge te taunga o te hu. Ā, ki te mea kei te takakau tonu koe, ā, kāore anō kia mārama ki tēnei upoko, me kī atu anō ahau kāore he take e tere ai. He maha atu ngā huarahi hei whakatutuki i ō hiahia katoa. Hei tīmatanga, me arotahi tātou ki te rapu i te tikanga o te rapu i tētahi mea noa, ina whakaatu koe i a koe ki te ao whakaipoipo. 

He aha te tikanga o te rapu a te tangata i tētahi mea ngāwari? 

E maumahara ana ahau ki taku tūtakitanga tuatahi ki tēnei kupu i te 18 o oku tau. He mea hou ki ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, ā, i tētahi tāone hou, i ia wā ka pāwhiri matau ahau ki tētahi tāne, i tino tumanako ahau he pai ia hei hoa mōku, ā, i roto i ngā rā e rua, ka tīmata he kōrero aroha ataahua ka taea e māua te titiro whakamuri me te aroha, mō te toenga o ō māua oranga. E toru ngā rā i muri i taku pāwhiri i taua taupānga, ka kitea e au tētahi tāne pai, ā, i tā māua rā tuatahi, i kī tika mai ia ki ahau kei te rapu ia i tētahi mea noa. 

I te kore e tino mārama ki te tikanga o tēnā, ka haere tonu ahau ki te whakahua i ā māua tamariki o muri mai i roto i tōku mahunga i a māua e inu kawhe ana. I muri mai, i tana tukunga i ahau ki te kāinga, ā, i te mutunga o te nui o te aroha , ka haere tika atu ahau ki taku hoa noho ka pātai atu ki a ia, "He aha te tikanga o te 'rapu i tētahi mea noa'? Kei te hiahia noa tēnei tangata ki te āta haere?"

Ā, i muri i ētahi tau o te whakaipoipo noa iho, he iti nei taku mōhio ki te tikanga o te "rapu i tētahi mea noa", ā, kei konei ahau hei whakapuaki i aku mōhiotanga ki a koe kia kore ai koe e hiahia ki tētahi akoranga tere mai i tō hoa noho mō te tikanga o tana kī mai kei te rapu ia i tētahi mea noa iho, ina kī mai rānei ia me noho noa iho. Heoi, i mua i tō peke atu i te pū me te tīmata ki te whakaaro me pēhea te kī atu kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea noa iho i runga i te Tinder nā te mea kei te whakaaro koe ka ātaahua koe, kati. Ā, pānuihia inaianei ngā mea e uru atu ana koe. 

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1. Kāore rātou e ngana ana ki te whakatutuki i tētahi whāinga me koe 

Ko te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pono ehara i te mea ko te mōhio noa ki tētahi engari ko te whatu i a ia ki roto i tō koiora, me te hanga i a ia hei whānau mōu. Ehara i te mea ko te haere noa i ngā wā whakatā hei whakangahau; kei te haere atu anō hoki koe i ēnei wā whakatā nā te mea ko tō whāinga kia noho tahi me ia mō te roa e taea ai e koe te whakatutuki i tana hiahia. 

Ko te tūtaki ki ngā mātua , te kōrero mō te whānautanga o tētahi pēpi i tētahi rā, te whakatau ko tēhea tāone pai rawa atu hei nohoanga māu, he tohu noa iho ēnei i roto i te whanaungatanga. He whāinga roa ēnei ka whakaarohia me te tangata e piri tahi ana koe. Engari, ki te mea he mea noa iho, kāti, ka ngaro katoa ēnei mea. Ka tūtaki kōrua nā te mea he mea ngahau, he mea pai ki a kōrua te noho tahi, ā, he iti noa iho ngā kata tahi. Ehara i te mea e hiahia ana kōrua ki te hanga i tētahi oranga me tēnei tangata. He tino māmā noa iho.

2. Kāore he tumanakohanga a rātou i a koe ina he mea noa iho 

He moumou taima te whakaipoipo noa? Tērā pea he mea pai tēnei māu mēnā kei te rapu koe i tētahi e noho tahi tonu ana, kotahi te waea atu, ka tirotiro i a koe. Ko te mea nui o te whakaipoipo noa, kāore he here. Nō reira, kāore he tumanako. E kore rātou e whakamutu i tō waea nā te mea kāore koe i whakarite wā mō rātou i te Paraire kua hipa, nā te mea rānei kua wareware koe ki te rā whānau o tā rātou kurī. Koinei pea te painga nui o te noho tahi me tētahi i roto i te wā noa.

He maha ngā painga ka riro i a koe, pērā i te moe pai , te noho hei hoa, me tētahi e pai ana koe ki te mahi tahi. Engari, ki te kore koe e wātea i tēnei wā, kāore i te pai te wairua, kei te mahi rānei tētahi atu mea, e kore rātou e tae mai ki tō whare ki te pātai he aha koe i pēnei ai.

Ki te kore rātou e tino piripono, tera pea ka hoki whakamuri rātou, ka hoatu ki a koe te wāhi e hiahiatia ana e koe, ā, ka tirotiro mai mēnā kei te whakaaro rātou he mea nui kei te haere. Engari ki te kore, ki te wareware koe ki te waea atu ki a rātou, ki te kore rānei koe e whakautu ki ngā kōrero Instagram o tā rātou hararei, tera pea kāore rātou e kite ana. Mā tēnā ka nui te wā me te kaha ki te mahi noa i a koe.

3. E rapu ana i tētahi mea noa, arā, me kite tātou i te tini o ngā tāngata 

He aha te tikanga o te mea noa? Ehara i te whanaungatanga maha-hoa, kāo. He nui tonu te whakapau kaha me te kawenga o te whanaungatanga maha-hoa tetahi ki tetahi. Engari, he ngāwari ake te whanaungatanga noa. Ehara i te mea ka taea e koe te hono atu ki ētahi atu tāngata, engari kāore hoki koe e hiahia ki te kōrero mō ēnei hononga ki te tangata e tūtaki ana koe i te wā noa.

Ina kī mai tētahi kōtiro e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi mea noa iho, ki tētahi tāne rānei e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi whanaungatanga kore here ki a koe, ko te tikanga kei a koe te mana ki te whai, ki te whakaipoipo, ki te tūtaki rānei ki tētahi atu e hiahia ana koe. He mea tino reka ki ahau mēnā kāore koe e hiahia ana ki te noho wawe. Nō reira, pātai atu ki a koe anō, kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea noa iho? Ki te mea kei te rapu koe, kei te whakaaro pea koe me pēhea te kī kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea noa iho i runga i te Tinder. Āe, me kī atu ki a rātou kāore koe e hiahia ana ki tētahi momo here, ā, kei te wātea te tangata kē ki te whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata. 

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4. Ko te tikanga o te whakaipoipo he mea noa iho, kāore rātou e tuku karere ki a koe i ia hēkona o ia rā

Te hoki ki te kāinga i muri i tētahi rā whakatā me rātou, ka tuku pikitia ki a rātou o ēhea PJ e mau ana koe i te pō? Te tuku pikitia rānei ki a ia o te potae pā i pā ki a koe i waenganui o te haerenga e whā tekau maero ki te whare o tōu māmā? Whakaorangia te wā me te kanohi mataku, engari me mahi tahi me tō hoa pai, kaua me tō hoa noa. 

Kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea noa? Nā te mea, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea, me maumahara koe ki tēnei i mua i te ruku atu ki tētahi. Kāore mātou e kī ana ko te tikanga o tētahi mea noa he kore rawa he whanaungatanga kare ā-roto , he āwangawanga rānei i roto i tō whanaungatanga. E aroha ana rātou ki a koe, e aroha ana rātou. Engari kāore e ranea hei hoatu i te nui o tō rātou wā ki a koe i ia rā. Nō reira, kia iti rawa te tuku karere kuputuhi me te waea atu, inā koa te waea atu. Ā, ki te mahi koe i tēnā, ngana kia kaua e whakahihiri, kia kaua e whaiaro, e kare ā-roto rānei. Ko aua karere kuputuhi ata ataahua? Āe, wareware ki ēnā.

5. He aha te tikanga o te rapu i tētahi mea noa? Ehara i te mea ko tāu waea atu i te 3 i te ata 

Taria, me whakamārama ake tēnei kia mōhio ai koe ki te tikanga o te mea noa. Mena he waea whakahihi i te 3 i te ata, kāti. Ki taku whakaaro ka tino pai ia ki tēnā. Engari ki te waea atu koe i te 3 i te ata, "Kāore ōku mātua e whakahīhī ana ki ahau, ā, kei te whakarite tonu rātou i ahau ki tōku tuahine" i a koe e totohu ana i roto i te puna roimata? Kāore rawa tēnā e whakaaetia i roto i te whanaungatanga noa. Ko te tikanga o te mea noa i roto i te whakaipoipo he tino ngāwari ngā here.

Koia te take kāore koe e hiahia ki te pupuri i a rāua kia tata rawa. Ina hoki, kei roto kōrua i te whanaungatanga noa iho nā te mea kāore kōrua e hiahia ki te uru atu ki roto i a kōrua ake. Waea atu ki tētahi hoa mēnā kei te pouri koe, waea atu rānei ki tō māmā i tēnei wā. Engari kaua rawa e waea atu ki tō hoa noho noa iho. Whakaarohia, kei te rapu koe i tētahi mea noho noa iho? Nā te mea me mahara koe, ehara rātou i te hoa e hiahia ana, kāo. He hoa noa iho rātou 'i roto i te mahi'. 

Ka taea e tetahi mea noa te huri hei whanaungatanga? 

I roto i te hunga e whakaae ana kei te rapu rātou i tētahi mea noa, i tētahi wheako wera noa rānei hei whakaoho i te wairua, he nui te hunga e rapu noa ana i tētahi mea nui. Nō reira, ki te mea ko koe tētahi o rātou, ā, e whakaaro ana mēnā ka taea e tētahi mea noa te huri hei mea nui, koinei taku e kī atu ai, he "Āe, āe!" nui.

Heoi, ki te hiahia koe kia mau tonu tō hinengaro me tō ngākau, kaua e uru ki tētahi whanaungatanga noa me te tumanako ka puta tēnei hua. Puritia ngā ture o te whakaipoipo, ā, ka noho haumaru koe. Engari ki te kite koe i ētahi ture e takahi ana, ā, ka hiahia koe ki te takahi i ētahi, tera pea kua huri tō wairua noa ki tētahi mea nui atu.

Ka taea e te noho noa i roto i te whakaipoipo te huri hei whanaungatanga nui ake i te mea ka tata atu kōrua, ka kite hoki he nui atu i te hononga whakahihiri anake kei konei. Ki te tīmata te whai i ēnei mea i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga, tera pea he mea hei whakaaroaro māu. Nō reira, kia tūpato ki ēnei tohu. 

1. He nui ake ngā kōrero urunga i mua 

Tērā pea i mua ake ka hiki noa ia i tōna hope ka haere atu, ā, kāore he rerekētanga ki a koe mēnā i pērā ia. Mēnā rānei ka tīmata ia ki te tuku karere i te waea i muri tonu i te mutunga o kōrua moenga, ka tahuri noa koe ki tō taha, ā, kāore he aha. Koinā te mutunga. Kua oti te rapu i tētahi mea noa māu. Engari ki te mea kua rerekē tēnā, āe, kāore pea koe e tino noa ana i ēnei rā. 

Ehara i te mea ko te nui ake o te kōrero ki a kōrua i muri i te moe tāne, engari te āhua nei kei te nui ake te hononga. E kitea ana, ehara i te mea ko te hototahi anake o kōrua i runga i te moenga, engari he pai hoki te wā. Kua mōhio koe inaianei he kaiwhaiwhai hoki ia nō tō tīma whutupaoro tino pai, ko tōna māmā rānei te kaihanga keke i tonoa e koe mō tō keke huritau i te tau kua hipa. Kātahi ka mahara ia ki tō pukapuka tino pai i kōrerotia e koe i te wā whakamutunga, i mōhio rānei ia ki ngā mea katoa mō taua hoa kotahi i ngaro i a kōrua te hononga i a koe e tipu ake ana. 

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2. Kāore koe e pai ki te whakaaro ki a rātou me ētahi atu tāngata 

I mua ake nei, i mōhio koe kei te moe ia, kei te kite i ētahi atu wāhine, ā, kāore i tino pā kino ki a koe. Tērā pea i kite koe i tētahi kōtiro ātaahua i runga i tana pūrākau Instagram, ka mea "wow", kātahi ka kati i te taupānga ka whakatuwhera anō i a Bumble kia haere tahi me tētahi atu i taua pō. Engari inaianei kua hikoi ia ki te whare kawhe ki te tūtaki ki a koe mō tō kōrua rā whitu, ā, kāore e taea e koe te ārai i te pouri kei a ia he hickey i tōna kaki. 

Ehara i te mea ko te riri anake tōu i te kitenga atu, engari ko te whakama hoki kāore ia i whakaaro ki te huna i te mea mōu. Āe, kei te haere tonu ngā mea ki te kino nā te mea kei te kitea te hae . Nā te mea ehara i te mea māu te kōrero mō taua mea, ka ngana koe ki te wareware atu mō te toenga o tō kōrua hui kawhe.

Ā, ka mutu taua rā, ka awhi koe i a ia, ā, ka mutu, ka whakaaro koe ki te mea i rite ki te hīkī i tōna kaki, te haerenga tereina katoa ki te kāinga. E mārama ana, kāore e pai ana te mea noa māu. Tērā pea kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi mea pono ake me tēnei tangata, ā, kua mutu kē tō moemoeā 'noa'.

3. Kāore e taea e koe te tatari ki te noho tahi me rātou 

Ehara i te mea nā te mea i tautohetohe koe ki tō rangatira, ā, i mahue i a koe te tina, koia koe i hiahia ai ki te peke atu ki te moenga me rātou, engari nā te mea he roa rawa tō rā i te mahi, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro ki tētahi atu hei kōrero atu! Ko te noho tahi me rātou ehara i te mea he mea e mahia ana e koe nā te mea he mea whakangahau anake, engari he mea whakamarie hoki, ā, he mea e tino harikoa ai koe. 

Ko te tikanga o te noho noa he mea whakahihiri, he mea ngahau. Ko te tikanga o te aroha he mea whakamarie ake. Kei te kite koe i te rerekētanga? Mena i ēnei rā, kāore i te nui te kihi engari he awhi aroha , kāore i te nui te taatai ​​engari he kōrero, kāore rānei i te huna tetahi i tetahi i ō hoa engari he nui te whakapehapeha tetahi i tetahi, tera pea kei te tata kōrua ki tētahi hononga tūturu.

He tika te whakaipoipo noa mōu?

He moumou taima noa iho te whakaipoipo noa? Ko te mea nui ko tō āhua tangata, ko te wāhanga o tō oranga i tēnei wā, me te nui o tō tuwhera ki te tūhura i ngā mea hou. Ki taku whakaaro, kāore he tangata e pai ana ki te whakaipoipo noa, kāore rānei, kei a ia te tikanga o tāu e pai ai. Ko te hunga kua puta mai i tētahi whanaungatanga kino, ka hiahia pea rātou ki tētahi mea noa hei whakamama i te mamae.

Ko ētahi he takakau, ā, kua rite ki te whakawhanaunga engari ehara i te mea noa iho, engari ko tā rātou e rapu ana ko tētahi e rite ana mō te whanaungatanga roa . Nā te mea pea kua mutu tā rātou mahi uaua e pā ana ki te swipe matau ki ia tangata haurua-tika i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo. Ahakoa he maha ngā painga me ngā huakore o te whakaipoipo noa, kāore e taea te whakauru i te tangata ki roto i te hunga e whakaipoipo noa ana me te hunga kāore.

He wā e pāngia ana te katoa e te whakaipoipo noa i tētahi wā. Ko ētahi ka tere te mahi, ko ētahi ka roa te mahi, ā, ko ētahi kāore e whakapono ki te marena, ki te noho tahi rānei, ka mahi tonu. Engari, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakamātau, anei ētahi mea hei maumahara māu hei whakatau mēnā kua rite koe mō tēnei, kāore rānei:

• Kei te pai koe kia kaua e noho ko koe anake? Ko te mea nui o te whakaipoipo noa, me whakaae koe he maha atu anō ngā hoa noho noa o tō hoa noho noa. Ahakoa e rua, neke atu rānei ngā tāngata e tūtaki ana koe, me whakaaro koe kei te pērā te tangata kē, nā te mea koinā pea te mea e tupu ana.
• Tērā pea kei te rapu noa koe i tētahi mea nui: Ko te rapu noa i tētahi mea whai tikanga nui ko te whai wā ki te tūtaki noa ki te tangata, engari ko tāu whāinga matua he kimi me te whakatau i taua tangata. Āe, koinei tētahi o ngā painga o te whakaipoipo noa. Ka āwhina i a koe ki te tūhura, ā, ko wai ka mōhio, tera pea ka tūtaki koe ki te aroha o tōu ao. Ahakoa koinā te āhua, mena ka mārama koe ki ngā tikanga me ngā ture, tera pea ka pai ki a koe.
• Kua hoha koe, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te tīmata noa ki te kite i ngā tāngata i runga i te Bumble: He take pai pea te hoha hei tīmatanga mō tētahi mea noa iho. Mēnā kāore koe e huna ana i te tangata, e whara ana rānei i a koe, kāore he aha. Nō reira, ki te hoha koe, he mea tika pea māu.
• He pai koe ki te pupuri i ngā mea mō te wā poto: Ki te mea, i te nuinga o te wā, kāore koe e piripono ki te tangata anake, tae atu ki ētahi atu mea, tērā pea ka pai koe ki te noho noa iho. He pai ki te pekepeke mai i tētahi mea ki tētahi atu? Tāpirihia te 'rapu i tētahi mea noa' ki roto i tō... taupānga Dating bio inaianei tonu!
• Kua mutu kē tō whanaungatanga: Mena kei te mārama koe ki ngā painga me ngā huakore o te whakaipoipo noa, ā, kāore koe e rapu noa i tētahi mea nui, ka taea e koe te whakamātau i tētahi mea noa ahakoa kua mutu kē koe i tētahi hononga. I muri i te wehenga, ka taea e ngā wā poto me ngā wā noa te āwhina i a koe ki te wareware i ngā mea. Engari mena ka karo koe i te wāhi nui.

Ko tā mātou e tumanako nei, kāore koe e hiahia ki te patuki i te tatau o tō hoa noho me te pātai, "He aha te tikanga o te mea noa?" me "Kia pēhea te roa o te wā e tika ana kia whakaipoipo noa koe i tētahi?", pērā i taku i mahi ai. Nō reira, ina kī mai tētahi kōtiro e hiahia ana ia ki tētahi mea noa, me mōhio koe ki tāna e kī ana. Pērā anō hoki ina tuku karere mai tētahi tāne ki a koe me te kī mai kei te rapu ia i tētahi mea noa.

He pai ngā āhuatanga o tēnei mahi, ā, ka taea e ia te whakaatu i tētahi wā pai ki a koe mēnā kei te pirangi koe ki tēnā momo mea. Engari he tangata noa koe, ā, tērā pea ka tīmata te tipu o ō kare ā-roto mō tō hoa rangatira. Nō reira, kaua e teka ki a koe anō mēnā ka rere ohorere koe puta noa i te motu ki te whakapau i te Tau Hou me tō hoa rangatira. Tērā pea ka raru koe. Engari ko tāku tumanako he momo pai tēnei. Āe, me i taea e au, 18 tau te pakeke, te pānui i tēnei.

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