Ehara i te mea ngaro ka teka tātou katoa i roto i ō tātou whanaungatanga. Ahakoa he kōrero "he ātaahua tō āhua" i muri i te kutikuti hou o tō hoa, he kōrero rānei kei te mahi pō koe i te wā i mutu ai koe ki te inu pia me ō hoa mahi, kei ngā wāhi katoa ēnei kōrero teka iti. Kātahi anō ka puta ngā kōrero teka nunui ka pakaru te whanaungatanga, ka waiho rānei koe kia rapu whakautu mō te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka.
Mena koinei tāu e pā ana, e mōhio ana koe ki te momo pānga o te pakaru o te whakawhirinaki ki te hononga o te tokorua. He uaua ki tō hoa te whakapono ki ngā mea katoa e kōrerohia ana e koe, ā, ko tō hapa ka waiho tonu hei whakamahara mō ō ngoikoretanga. Ka huri whakarere ia kōrero hei tautohetohe. "Kei te haere tahi kōrua ko ngā tama anake?" "He hoa noa iho ia, tika?" Ka taea e te whakapae me ngā whakapae te waiho i tō kōrua whanaungatanga kia kore e mārama.
Koia te take he mea nui te kimi huarahi hei whakatika i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te teka. Tērā pea ka roa te wā e murua ai te hara. Ki te tino whakaute koe ki tō hoa rangatira me tō whanaungatanga, ka whai hua te huarahi roa ki te whakahoki mai i tō rāua whakawhirinaki. Me titiro tātou me pēhea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, kia kore ai koe e rite ki te tamaiti i tangi "wuruhi". Engari tuatahi, me tirotiro tātou i te pānga o te teka ki te whanaungatanga.
Te Pānga o te Taka Teki ki te Hononga
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi whanaungatanga He rite ki te paraikete mahana i te rā makariri. Ko ia kōrero teka—ahakoa te iti—ka werohia he kōhao ki roto i tēnei paraikete e whakamarie ana, e haumaru ana hoki koe, ā, i te nui haere o ēnei kōrero teka, ka toe noa iho ngā maramara o te paraikete, ka waiho koe kia kitea, kia kore e haumaru, kia tūpato hoki mō tō oranga.
Tērā pea ka huna e koe tētahi mea nui i tō hoa nā te mea e wehi ana koe kei kore e pai tā rātou urupare, ā, ka mea koe ki a koe anō, "Kei te mahi ahau i tēnei hei tiaki i a rātou". Kāore rānei koe e hiahia ki te uru atu ki te raruraru me tō hoa i muri i tētahi rā roa, ā, tērā pea ka teka koe i te ara e puta ai i tētahi tautohe pea, me te whakaaro, "Nāku i whakaora te pō, i mahi ahau i tētahi pai mō tāua." Ko te raruraru, ahakoa te pēhea o tō whakamārama, ka mau tonu te tinihanga i a koe nā te mea ka tupu ngā teka pērā i te taru, ka ārai i te whakawhirinaki me te whanaungatanga i kaha ai koe ki te hanga. Anei te mahi:
1. Ka pakaru te turanga o te whakawhirinaki i ngā kōrero teka
Ko te whakawhirinaki te tūāpapa o tētahi hononga hauora. Mēnā kāore, ka taea e te hononga tino kaha te pakaru. Ina teka koe, ka tīmata ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki ki roto i tō whanaungatanga, ā, ka tīmata pea tō hoa ki te pātai ehara i te mea ko te teka anake engari ko ngā mea katoa i kōrerotia e koe. Hei tauira, ki te teka koe mō tō wāhi i tētahi ahiahi, nā te mea kāore koe i hiahia ki te tautohetohe mō te hiahia ki te noho tahi me ō hoa, kaua ki te noho tahi me tō hoa, ā, ka kitea e tō hoa, ka whakaaro pea rātou, "Mēnā i teka rātou mō tēnei, he aha atu anō tā rātou e kōrero mai nei ki ahau?" Ka taea e tēnei feaa te huri haere, ka waiho rātou kia ruarua i ngā mea katoa.
"Ka puta te āwangawanga i roto i te hoa mā te teka, nā te mea he tohu kei te hunaia tetahi mea i a rātou. Kia tau te whakapae, he uaua ki te pupuri i te haumaru o ngā kare ā-roto."
—E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Paul Hokemeyer, he kaiwhakaora whānau,
2. Ka taea e ngā kōrero teka iti te huri hei take nui ake
He "teka ma"Anei, he kōrero teka—kāore pea i te tuatahi te āhua kino. Engari he pānga domino tō ngā kōrero teka. Hei huna i tētahi kōrero teka, me hiahia pea koe ki tētahi atu, me tētahi atu anō. I mua i tō mōhio, kua whatu koe i tētahi kupenga tinihanga he uaua ki te wetewete."
Hei tauira, tirohia a Jenna rāua ko Aron. I teka a Aron ki a ia mō te whakapaunga nui ki ngā mahi a ngā toa toa, ā, i tangohia e ia te moni hei utu mō aua mahi mai i tētahi pūtea hararei i koha tahi rāua ki roto, me te whakaaro ehara i te mea nui. Engari i te kitenga o Jenna i ngā marama i muri mai, ka nui haere te kino o te mea i tua atu i tā Aron i tumanako ai, ka haere a Jenna ki te noho ki tōna tuahine, ā, ka ārai i a ia mō ngā wiki. Ehara i te mea ko te moni anake tana tauhohenga - engari ko te whakaaro kua peia ia, kua tinihangatia hoki.
3. Ka tipu te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto
Ina teka koe ki tō hoa, ka ngokingoki haere mai te tawhiti ngawari, ahakoa kāore rāua e mōhio wawe. Tērā pea ka whakama koe, ka karo i te titiro kanohi, ka iti ake rānei te kōrero. Ka taea e tēnei āputa kare ā-roto te arahi ki ngā kare ā-roto o te mokemoke, te te momotu i roto i te whanaungatanga, e pana ana i a kōrua kia wehe. Tākuta Harriet Lerner, kaituhi o Te Kanikani o te Whakawhanaungatanga, e whakamārama ana, "Ka whakakino te teka i te whanaungatanga piripono e pupuri ana i te whanaungatanga. Ko te tuwhera me te pono ngā mea e āhei ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te rongo i te tino kitea me te arohaina mō te āhua o rātou."
Te pānui e pā ana: Te Tawhiti o te Kare ā-roto: Te Tikanga, Ngā Take, Ngā Tohu, Me Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatika
4. Ka whakararu te teka i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero
He aha te take e pakaru ai te whanaungatanga i raro i te taumaha o ngā kōrero teka? Nā te mea ina he mea āu hei huna i tō hoa, kāore e taea e koe te tūwhera me te whakaraerae ki a rātou. Nō reira, ka tipu haere ngā māramatanga kore, ka tupu te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, e āhua ana koe kāore e taea e kōrua te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi me te kore e piki ake hei tautohe.
Hei tā te kōrero teka, kua teka koe ki tō hoa mō tētahi mea nui—mō te pūtea, mō te whanoke, mō ngā raruraru mahi, me ērā atu mea—ā, kei te whakangaro te whakaaro "mehemea ka kitea e rātou" i a koe. Ka taea e tō hoa te rongo kei te hē tetahi mea, ā, ina pātai atu rātou ki a koe mō taua mea, kāore he huarahi kē atu māu engari ko te kī atu, "Kāore he aha" me te "Kei te pai ahau". Kei te waiho rātou kia whakaaro noa, ā, ko te mea pea, kei te whakaaro i ngā āhuatanga kino rawa atu i roto i ō rātou mahunga. I roto i te wā, ka taea e tēnei kore māramatanga te arahi ki te pouri me ngā tautohetohe.
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5 Ngā Momo Kōrero teka e Whakararuraru ai i te Whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te Hononga
Ka rite ki a koutou e taea e kite, te takoto i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga Ko te tikanga he pakaru te whakawhirinaki, he ngoikore ngā hononga, me te koretake mō te heke mai. Engari he rite tonu te pānga o ngā kōrero teka katoa ki tō whanaungatanga? He rite tonu te kī atu ki tō hoa i pai koe ki te tiakarete reka i hangaia e rāua mai i te tīmatanga ahakoa kāore koe i te kino ki te teka mō te tinihanga i a rāua, te huna rānei i tō hītori mai i a rāua? Āe, kāore rawa. He rerekē te pānga o ngā kōrero teka o ngā rahi rerekē ki ngā whanaungatanga. Me titiro tātou ki ngā momo kōrero teka e 5 e arahi ana ki ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga:
1. Ngā kōrero teka mā
Kia pono tātou, ka kōrero teka tātou katoa ki ō tātou hoa i ētahi wā. Mai i te kī i pai koe ki te kākahu hou i hokona e rātou i te wā kāore koe i pai, tae atu ki te kī e pai ana koe ki te noho tahi me tō rātou māmā i te wā e kore rawa koe e aro ki te wahine. Ahakoa ehara i te mea onge te teka hei tiaki i ngā kare ā-roto o te hoa, ehara hoki i te mea kino, ina tīmata te nui o ngā teka ki te nui ake i te pono me te mārama, ka taea e ia te whakaiti i te pono o tō whanaungatanga.
Ko te raruraru o ngā kōrero teka mā, tera pea ka taka koe ki te tikanga o te whakamahi i aua mea hei mawhiti atu i ngā āhuatanga whakararuraru, ā, koinei te wā ka uaua ai ngā mea. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Bella DePaulo, he tohunga hinengaro e ako ana i te teka, "Ahakoa ngā kōrero teka iti, ka taea e ia te hanga i tētahi tikanga o te tinihanga. Ka pakaru te hononga pono nā te mea ka kite tō hoa he mea hē, ahakoa kāore e taea e ia te whakaatu."
Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Tohu o te Hīanga i roto i te Hononga
2. Ngā teka o te warewaretanga
Ehara ēnei i te kōrero teka, engari he mea kāore koe e pai ki te whakapuaki. Hei tauira, kaua e kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira i tūtaki koe ki tētahi hoa o mua i te tina, kaua rānei e kōrero mō te wā harikoa o te mahi. Ahakoa e kī ana koe he "kāore i te nui", tera pea ka kite tō hoa rangatira he tinihanga ina kitea e ia. Ngā teka o te warewaretanga he mea huna tēnei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, i te roanga o te wā, ka puta te tawhiti kare ā-roto i waenga i ngā hoa.
3. Ngā whakanui
I ētahi wā, ka whakawhāiti pea koe i te pono kia pai ake ai tō āhua—pērā i te kī kua tutuki i a koe tētahi mea kāore anō kia tutuki i a koe, i te whakanui rānei i ngā hapa a tō hoa kia kore ai e whai kawenga mō āu mahi. Tērā pea ka whakanui ake tēnei i tō whakapehapeha mō tētahi wā poto, engari ina kitea e tō hoa te pono, ka pātai pea rātou mō tō pono.
4. Ngā teka pūtea
Koinei tētahi o ngā mea nui e waiho ana i te tangata kia whakaaro me pēhea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka. Ehara i te mea ngaro ko te moni te pūtake nui o te pakanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ina tīmata koe ki te teka mō ngā pūtea—te huna i te nama, te hoko huna, te teka rānei mō te nui o tāu whiwhinga—ki te karo i tēnei pakanga, ka rite ki te te puremu moni ā, ka waihanga i te kore whakawhirinaki.
"He maha ngā wā ka tohu ngā mea ngaro o te moni i te korenga o te whakawhirinaki me te tuwhera i roto i te whanaungatanga."
—Dr. Terri Orbuch, tohunga hinengaro
5. Te kore pono
Haunga te aroha, te whakawhirinaki, me te whakaute, ko te pono tētahi o ngā mea tino taketake ngā tumanakohanga i roto i te whanaungatanga—āe, i roto i ngā whanaungatanga pūmau, kotahi te hoa rangatira. Ina takahi koe i ngā rohe o te pono, kātahi ka whakapau kaha ki te huna i ō ara, ka pakaru katoa te turanga o tō whanaungatanga. O ngā momo tinihanga katoa, koinei te mea tino nanakia, ā, he uaua hoki ki te whakaora.
Koia te take e uaua ai te tangata ki te rapu huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka me te tinihanga, ina kitea e rātou ahakoa tā rātou whakapau kaha, kāore e taea te whakapono mai o tā rātou hoa ki a rātou, te noho haumaru rānei i a rātou anō.
Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te teka - 11 ngā mea me mahi e koe
Kāore he aha te nui o te teka. Ko te mea nui ko tō teka i te tuatahi. Ahakoa he tinihanga, he teka rānei hei huna i ōu ara, e kitea ana te kore whakaute i roto i ia take. Ahakoa he tangata teka nui koe, he kotahi noa rānei tō teka, ko te tukanga o te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga he rite tonu.
Heoi, ki te mea i mātaki koe i te whakaaturanga tino pai a tō hoa, kāore ia i te mātaki, i kai rānei i te hanawiti i rongoatia e ia mō ā muri ake nei, kāore mātou e kī he tinihanga rawa tēnā i te whakawhirinaki o tō hoa. Tērā pea he rite tonu te āhua, engari kāore he mea kāore e taea te whakatika mā te mātaki anō, mā tētahi atu hanawiti rānei. Kāore koe e hiahia kia moe roa koe mōna. me pehea te whakatika i te whanaungatanga i muri i te pakaru o te whakawhirinaki ko noa.
Heoi, ina huraina ngā kōrero teka nui atu mō te kore pono, ka ngaro atu te whakaaro mō te whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga. Kāore i roa, kua tāpirihia he GPS ki tō waka, ā, kei te aroturukihia ō karere. Kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te noho ki te whanaungatanga me te FBI, koia te take he mea nui te kimi huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga i muri i te pānga o te whakapae.
Ahakoa kāore pea koe e hiahia ki tētahi atu mea, engari me pēhi noa i te pātene tautuhi anō, ka hoki ki te āhua o mua, kāore he huarahi tere hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka. Ko te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te teka ka hiahiatia he whakapau kaha me te manawanui. Hei āwhina i a koe i te huarahi, me tūhura tātou i ngā mahi hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i tēnei wā tonu:
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1. Tuatahi, kati te teka
Heoi anō, hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, me mutu tonu te teka. Ā, ko te tikanga o tēnei kōrero, ko inanahi. Kāore e taea e koe te pātai me pēhea te whakatika i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te teka i a koe e noho ana i runga i te puranga teka ka pahū ki tō aroaro i tētahi wā tonu.
Mai i tēnei wā, kia tino mohio koe kāore koe e mahi i tetahi mea, ahakoa he iti noa te pōuri i roto i te arai o te koretake e waiho ana i tō hoa ki te manukanuka mō ō whakaaro. Ko te teka i muri i te hopukina mōna he rite ki te whakaaro ka ora tō mate huka mā te kai huka. Kei te whakararu noa koe i a koe anō, ā, i mua i tō mōhio ka kai koe i taua kai reka mā te tokorua ko koe anake. Ki te kore koe e hiahia ki te noho me te tangi "I teka ahau, ā, i pakaru taku whanaungatanga" mō te toenga o tō oranga, me mahi kia mārama ki tō hoa.
Me whakamōhio atu ki a rātou tāu e mahi nei, me tāu e mahi ai ā muri ake nei. Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ētahi te wāhi whaiaro i roto i te whanaungatanga, whakamāramahia ki tō hoa tāu e mahi ai, me te take hoki. Ina rapu huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, i te tinihanga rānei, ko te whakamutu i te pūtake o te raruraru i te tuatahi ko te taahiraa nui rawa atu me mahi e koe.
2. Whakaarohia te take i teka ai koe i te tuatahi
Mā te mārama ki te take i teka ai koe, ehara i te mea ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau me pēhea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, engari ka ārai hoki i a koe kei hoki anō ki te rua rāpeti. He wehi kei whakahengia koe? He karo i ngā pakanga? He whakama? Kia pono ki a koe anō mō ngā take matua, nā te mea ka taea e tēnei mōhiotanga te āwhina i a koe ki te aro atu ki aua take matua me te tipu ake.
He mea āwhina anō hoki te kōrero i ēnei take ki tō hoa, engari kaua e whakawhiti whakapae, e whakapae rānei. Ko te whakaaro i konei kia noho ngāwari koe mō ō ake feaa, mataku, me ō āwangawanga i akiaki i a koe ki te teka, kia taea ai e rātou te aroha ki a koe, kaua hoki e whakaatu he hē tō rātou i te teka.
3. Inoi mō te murunga hara, me te ngākau pono
"Āe, e te Atua! Aroha mai. Kia marino, ehara i te mea nui," he mea tēnei e tika ana kia kōrerohia e koe mēnā kei te hiahia koe kia tere ake te peinga atu i tō whanaungatanga i mua i te taenga atu o Usain Bolt ki te rārangi mutunga. Engari ehara i te huarahi pai mēnā kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka. Mō tēnā, me mahi koe whakapāha pono ki tō hoa, ā, me kite tō hoa e ahu mai ana i te ngākau.
Kāo, kāore e ranea ngā putiputi iti. Tikina ngā mea nunui rawa atu. Ina hoki, haere katoa ki te kapi i te rūma noho ki āna putiputi tino pai. Tikina he pouaka tiakarete, tuhia he reta aroha, ka tunu kai mā rātou, e iwa iāri te roa. Kāore koe e puta ngāwari ana i tēnei, he pai ake te haere tawhiti mena ka whakaatu koe i tō aroha ki tētahi i muri i te whara i a rātou.
Kaua e whakakino i tō hoa, kaua e kōrero i ngā kōrero pono, me whakaae ki ngā mea katoa i mahia e koe, i kōrero teka ai, ā, me whakaae ki ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa. Whakapāha mai me te mea he pono tō kōrero mā te kī pēnei, "I teka ahau, i pakaru tō whakawhirinakitanga i ahau, ā, e tino pouri ana ahau mō tēnā. E kore rawa ahau e mahi anō i tēnei mea. Homai he wā ki ahau ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i tā tāua whanaungatanga."
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4. Whakamahia te māramatanga
Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, e whakaaro ana koe? He tīmatanga pai te noho tuwhera ki tō hoa. Ko te hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te mārama o tō whakaaro. Ina hē koe, ina pakaru rānei i tō rātou whakawhirinakitanga, me whakapuaki ki a rātou te take i pērā ai koe, ahakoa he uaua ki a koe te whakaae he aha koe i pērā ai i te tuatahi.
Ki te mea i mahia e koe mō te take, kōrerotia atu ki a rātou. Ki te mea i mahia e koe nā te mea i ngana koe ki te whakahoki utu ki a rātou mō tētahi mea, kōrerotia atu ki a rātou, engari whakaarohia te hauora o tō whanaungatanga i a koe e mahi ana. Kaua te whanaungatanga e waiho hei kēmu chess. Heoi, kia mahara ki te whakatakoto i ō take, i tō taha rānei o te kōrero me te kore e whakaatu kei te whakapae koe i tō hoa, kei te tuku whakamārama rānei mō āu mahi. Kaua e whakamahi i te reo whakapae, i te reo rānei te huri-whakapae.
I roto i tēnei mahi, ka tae atu koe ki te pūtake o te aromatawai i ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto. He aha te mea i akiaki i a koe ki te mahi i tāu i mahi ai? He aha koe i teka ai? Mā ngā pātai hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ka āwhina i a kōrua ki te rapu i te pūtake o te take i puta ai. Engari i te whakaiti i ngā tohu, arotahi ki te whakakore i te hiahia ki te teka mai i te pūtake.
5. Whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tō whanaungatanga
Hei tētahi o ngā tino kaupapa o tētahi whanaungatanga, ko te hiranga o te whakapai ake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tō whanaungatanga Kāore e taea te whakaiti. Ka nui ake te hiranga o tēnei ina e ngana ana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te kōrero teka. Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ake, mārama ake hoki a muri ake nei, ka whakakorea e koe te tūponotanga o te huna i tētahi mea mai i tō hoa.
Haunga tēnā, kāore e kore ka raru pea tō hoa i ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki i muri i te tinihanga. Kāore he huarahi pai ake hei āwhina i a rātou ki te wikitoria i ēnei feaa iti, me te whakawhirinaki anō ki a koe i te whakatipu i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pono, tuwhera, me te houhanga rongo i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga.
Ae, ko te huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te kōrero teka he māmā noa iho, arā, te whakatū i tētahi kōrero whai hua, hauora hoki ki tō hoa. Whakatenatenahia te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro tetahi ki tetahi, ahakoa he kaupapa kei roto, kāore e pai kia kōrerohia. He maha ngā wā, koinei ngā kōrerorero tino nui.
Nō reira, ā te wā e kī mai ai tō hoa "Kāore he aha, kei te pai ahau", koinā te tohu māu, e te hōia. Kaua e whakapohehe i tō pakihiwi, kaua hoki e karo i taua kōrero, engari me ruku atu ki mua, ka pātai he aha rātou kāore e whakapuaki ana i tā rātou e hiahia ana. Ki te whakapau kaha koe ki te whakawhanake i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora, kāore e uaua ki te kimi huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakawhirinaki anō ki tētahi i muri i tā rātou whara i a koe – Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga
6. Kia noho ko koe te hoa pai rawa atu
Ahakoa he mea nui te whakapāha pono hei tīmatanga, he nui atu ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe i tua atu i te whakapāha mō te pō kotahi. Inaianei kua tae mai te wā e ngana ana koe ki te hoatu take kore ki tō hoa kia kore ai ia e whakawhirinaki anō ki a koe. Mō āu mahi ki te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi i whara i a koe, he nui ake te kōrero a ngā mahi i ngā kupu.
Kia tino mohio koe ko koe te hoa tāne/wahine pai rawa atu ka taea e tō hoa te tono, ā, whakaaturia ki a rātou he pai te whakapau kaha ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mirimiri tuara, parakuihi i te moenga, tautoko, horoi i ā rātou kākahu, taraiwa i a rātou… āe, kaua pea e noho hei kaimahi whaiaro mā rātou, engari kua mārama koe ki te kaupapa.
Kia pono, kia tangohia ngā huarahi hei whakaatu i te aroha ki tō hoa rangatira, ā, kia mōhio tō hoa rangatira ki te kaha e whakapau kaha ana koe mā te tūpato tonu. Kei te ngana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka? Kimihia he aha tā tō hoa rangatira e hiahia ana i roto i tētahi hoa rangatira, ā, kia noho ko ia taua tangata. Koinei te kī ki te whakawhirinaki katoa o te tāne ki a koe, ki te toa anō rānei i te whakawhirinakitanga o te wahine.
7. Whakaū ki te huringa
Hei mahi take whakawhirinaki I roto i te whanaungatanga, ko te mea nui pea ka taea e koe te mahi ko te whakapau kaha ki te huri. Tāutuhia ngā ia āhuatanga, ngā mea rānei i meinga ai koe kia huna i te pono mai i tō hoa. Ko te kimi me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka he mea uaua ki te tini nā te mea me wawahi koe i ō tauira whanonga.
Koia anō hoki, me titiro koe ki roto, me whakaaroaro, me mārama he aha koe i pēnei ai i roto i ētahi āhuatanga. He aha te take e ahua māmā ake ai te kōrero teka i te kōrero whakamā ki tō hoa? He aha koe i wehi ai ki te whakaatu i ō taha katoa, me te kore e huna i muri i te huna o ngā kōrero teka kua āta hangaia?
Ki te kore koe e tino whakapono me mahi koe i ētahi āhuatanga o tō tuakiri kia angitu ai te whanaungatanga, kāore rawa koe e whakapau kaha. Ko te whakautu ki te pātai me pēhea te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka kei roto ko te noho hei hoa pai me te putanga o koe e taea ai e koe. Whakapai ake i te ngākau māhaki i roto i ētahi atu wāhanga o tō ao, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te tinihanga. Ā, ka whai ake ngā huarahi ki te hanga whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Te pānui e pā ana: E 11 ngā huarahi e whakaarohia ana e te tohunga hei āwhina i tētahi hoa mahi me ngā take whakawhirinaki
8. Hoatu he wā ki tō hoa
He nui te wā, te manawanui, me te kaha e hiahiatia ana hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki o tētahi. Kia hē ai, kia pakaru ai hoki te whakawhirinaki o tō hoa ki a koe, kaua e tatari kia murua tonutia tō hara e rātou. Ka roa te wā e hiahiatia ana e rātou, ā, ehara i te mea ko koe te tangata hei whakatau i te roa o te wā. "I kī atu ahau, mihi mai! He aha atu tāu e hiahia ana?" ka tauhiuhi noa iho he karāhe wai ki tō mata. Ki te kore koe e hiahia ana ki tēnā mō tētahi take, kaua e akiaki i tō hoa kia murua tō hara.
Kia mārama koe, kāore ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki i muri i te tinihangatia e memeha haere i roto i te pō kotahi. Mā te kī atu ki tō hoa kāore he mea hei āwangawanga mā rātou, te whakamanawa atu rānei i a rātou kāore koe e teka anō, te whakaatu rānei i tō tino pouri, e kore e whakakore i te kino i puta mai i ō kōrero teka. Tērā pea kāore e taea e rātou te whakapono ki a koe, ko rātou anō anake.
Ina whakaaro koe, "Me aha ahau hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?", nā te mea kua ono marama te roa, ā, kāore anō tō hoa kia mārama ki tāu i teka ai ki a rātou, kia mārama koe kāore e taea e koe anake te whakatika i tēnei. Me tino whakapono tō hoa mēnā ka taea e ia te muru i ō hara, kāore rānei.
Homai to te whakarite i te wāhi me te wā e hiahiatia ana e rātou kia whakaaroarohia mēnā ka taea e rātou te muru i ō hara. Pērā i a koe me whakapau kaha ki te noho hei tangata pai rawa atu, me whakaaro tō hoa mēnā he arai tēnei ka taea e rātou te wikitoria. Ko te huarahi ki te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, kei te hiahia hoki tō hoa ki te muru i ō hara me te tuku i a koe kia hoki mai.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Tohutohu Matua e 9 hei Hanga Whakawhirinaki i roto i ngā Hononga
9. Whakarongo ki tō hoa
Ngā mahi whakapakari whakawhirinaki mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine Me kōrero tahi koe mō ngā mahi e tika ana kia mahia e kōrua i ngā rā kei te heke mai, me whakaae kei hē koe, me te mārama ki ngā kōrero a tō hoa. Mā ā rātou tumanakohanga e ārahi te huarahi me te aha ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga me te teka. Ahakoa kei te kōrero noa tō hoa ki a koe i te mamae o tō hoa i tō teka ki a rātou, mā te whakarongo noa me te whakaae ki ō hapa, ka taea e koe te hoatu ki a rātou te whakamana e hiahiatia ana e rātou.
Ko te kore e whakakore i ō rātou āwangawanga, e whakakore rānei i ō rātou kare ā-roto o te riri, te mamae, te mamae rānei, he wāhanga nui tēnei o te huarahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga whai muri i te teka. "E hia ngā wā ka kōrerohia e tāua tēnei?" "Ka taea e koe te wareware i tēnei, ā, ka kite koe kei te tino whakapau kaha ahau ki te riro mai i a koe tō whakawhirinakitanga?" Me karo koe i ēnei kōrero kia ahu whakamua ai ō mahi ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga whai muri i te teka.
10. Kaua e tumanako ki tetahi mea
Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te teka? Kia maumahara ko te whakapau kaha tonu, ahakoa te iti, ka hua mai he hua nui engari kāore e taea te whakateretere i tēnei tukanga. Mena kei te mahi koe i a koe anō, ki te mea kei te mahi koe i ngā mea katoa e taea ana e koe kia noho hei hoa pai rawa atu, ā, kāore tō hoa i kōrero mō taua mea, kāore he painga nui o te riri mō taua mea ki tō whanaungatanga. Koia te take he mea nui te whakapau kaha ki te whakatika i te whanaungatanga i mua.
Kia oti kōrua te piripono, me peke atu kōrua ki roto i ngā waewae e rua. Kāore e taea e koe te ngaro tō manawanui, me te tuku i te riri kia whakapōrearea i tō whakaaro mēnā kāore anō kia whiwhi kupu whakamihi mō te kaha e whakapaua ana e kōrua. Kāore ngā mahi hanga whakawhirinaki mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakamanawanui wawe tonu. Akohia te whakahaere i tō ake ngā tumanakohanga i roto i te whanaungatanga te huarahi tika.
Te pānui e pā ana: Kia pehea te utu o te rongoā mō ngā takirua?
11. Rapua he awhina ngaio
Ahakoa he whakaora mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, he whakaora takitahi rānei, whakamahia te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe hei āwhina i a koe kia pai ake. Ka taea e te tohunga te tohutohu atu ki a koe me pēhea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka. Kia tukuna atu he tātaritanga whai whakaaro ki a koe mō te take e teka ana koe, me te aha ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakapakari i tō whanaungatanga, kāore e rite ki te pana i te kohatu nui ki runga i te puke.
Mena kāore anō kia puta he hua i roto i āu mahi tae noa mai ki tēnei wā, ā, kei te rapu āwhina koe ki te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi i whara i a koe, me rapu tohutohu mātau, whai pūkenga hoki koe. Te rōpū a Bonobology kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe. Mā ā rātou arataki me ā rātou āwhina, ka mārama koe ki te huarahi hei whakaora i te pakaru o te whakawhirinaki i roto i tō whanaungatanga.
Pātai Auau
1. Kia pēhea te roa o te wā e hiahiatia ana hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i muri i te teka?
Ko te roa o te wā hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, e whakawhirinaki ana ki te roa o te wā e noho haumaru ai tō hoa ki a koe anō. Mā te whai i ngā mea hei mahi hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinakitanga, ka āwhina koe ki te tere ake i te tukanga. Mā te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro ngaio, ka mutu ka whakaitihia taua wā ki te nui. Mena kei te rapu koe ki te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro hei āwhina i a koe ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinakitanga i roto i tō whanaungatanga, he maha ngā ratonga a Bonobology. nga tohunga mohio hei awhina i a koe ki te mahi pera.
2. Ka taea rānei te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki?
Ae, ka taea te whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i ō whanaungatanga mēnā ka tangohia e koe ngā mahi tika katoa. Ngāna kia noho hei hoa pai rawa atu māu. Hoatu he wā me te wāhi ki tō hoa kia murua ō hara, kia whakapau kaha hoki ki te noho hei tangata pai ake. Ahakoa he uaua te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki, ehara i te mea e kore e taea mēnā ka whakapau kaha ngā hoa e rua ki te whakahaere i te whanaungatanga kia angitu.
Tohutohu Matua
- Ka ara ake ngā kōrero teka i ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, ka pā kino pea tēnei ki te hononga o te tokorua
- Ko te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto, te koretake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te mokemoke, me te momotu ētahi o ngā pānga tino kitea o te teka ki tētahi whanaungatanga.
- Mai i ngā kōrero teka mā e pā ana ki ngā kōrero teka mō te wareware, te whakanui, te teka pūtea, me te kore pono, he rerekē ngā pānga o ngā momo kōrero teka ki ngā whanaungatanga.
- Hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te teka, me whakaae koe ki te kawenga mō āu mahi, me whakapāha pono, me whakapau kaha ki te whakahoki i te hara ki tō hoa, me te whakapau kaha ki te huri i te whanaungatanga.
- Ki te mea e tika ana, rapua he āwhina ngaio hei whakaoti i ngā take e akiaki ana i a koe ki te teka, me te ako me pēhea te whakatairanga i te māramatanga me te pono i roto i tō whanaungatanga.
Thoughts Final
Ahakoa kāore ngā mahi hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga e hua wawe mai, me whakapau kaha koe ki te hanga i tētahi huringa hei pai ake i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki, engari nā te mea kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi e pakaru ai, tika? Mā te whakamahi i ngā tikanga kua whakarārangihia e mātou hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka neke tata atu koe i ia rā ki te whakahoki mai i te mana o tētahi hoa rangatira pono.
15 Ngā Mea Ka Tupu Ina Kāore he Whakawhirinakitanga i roto i te Hononga
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
