Ka rite te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga ki te whakaekenga a te moko e whakararu ana i te hanganga o te whare. Ki te kore e whakatikahia, ka taea e ia te whakangaro i ngā hononga kaha rawa atu i roto, ā, ka wehea ngā hoa. Ka meinga te tangata e te mauahara kia kawa, kia paitini. Ka puta he raruraru whakawhirinaki me te riri, ā, ka kino pea ki te hauora hinengaro o te tangata mēnā ka waiho kia pirau mō te wā roa rawa. I runga i te tūponotanga o te mōrearea, he mea nui kia kitea me pēhea te tuku i te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe ki tēnā. Engari i mua i te tīmatanga, he mea nui anō kia mārama ki te āhua o te mauahara ki tētahi hoa rangatira, me tōna pūtake. He maha ngā take ka puta ai te mauahara o te tangata, engari ko tētahi o ngā tino take ko ngā patunga kare ā-roto kāore anō kia ora o mua, ka puta mai i te whakaohooho iti noa iho, i ngā mea iti rawa rānei. Me ruku hohonu ake tātou kia mārama ake ai te tirohanga.
He aha te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Nā tēnei ka ara ake te pātai: He aha te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga? Āe, he maha ngā wā ka whakaahuahia te riri hei tauhohenga riri me te kare ā-roto ki te kore tika o te mahi, ki te kī rānei a te Oxford Languages Dictionary – he "riri nui mō te kore tika o te mahi". Ko te tikanga, he wheako i ngā kare ā-roto nui me te kawa nā te kore tika, te kino rānei o te mahi a te hunga e arohaina ana. He maha ngā wā ka pā kino te riri ki te whakawhirinaki o te tangata ki te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga.
Ka taea hoki e te mauahara te whakamā, te kawa, te riri, me te hiahia ki te rapu utu mō te āhua o te mahi ki a ia – he kōrero kore aroha nā te hoa, he mahi hē nā te whānau (he mea āta whakaarohia, he mea kore rānei), he whakahe rānei i te mahi. Tērā pea ka rongo te tangata kua tukinotia ia, ka whanonga i roto i te āhua pukuriri, ā, ka pupuri tonu i te mamae me te mauahara mō te wā roa tae noa ki te puta mai i roto i te āhua o te riri.
Tērā pea ka pāngia te tangata e te riri e te tini o ngā kare ā-roto kino, tae atu ki te whakarihariha, te pouri, te riri, te wehi, me te ohorere. Tērā pea ka tino uaua te tuku i te riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, te muru rānei i te hara o te tangata nāna i whakatupu. Me whakapau kaha kia kore ai ngā kare ā-roto kino o ngā wheako kino o mua e pā kino ki tōu ao me tōu ao kei te heke mai.
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He aha ngā take o te mauahara i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?
I mua i tā tātou whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga, me mārama tātou ki ōna pūtake. Nō reira, he aha te take e riri ai te tangata? He aha te take e riri ai te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga? Āe, he maha ngā take engari ko te mea tino kitea ko te tukino, te tukino, te tinihanga rānei a tētahi atu tangata. He kare tino whakangaro, he paitini, he uaua hoki te riri i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ki te wikitoria, ki te tuku atu rānei. Ka horomia koe e ia i te taha tinana, i te taha kare ā-roto me te taha hinengaro, ka nui te kino ki tō hauora hinengaro me tō oranga, ā, ka puta he maha ngā raruraru whanaungatanga.
Ko te tikanga, ka puta te kare o te riri i ngā wheako o mua o te whakatoi, te mahi hē rānei a tetahi, ā, ka puta ake ina whakahokia aua whanonga. He whānuitanga o ngā wheako kino ka taea te whakapataritari i te tangata pēnei i:
- Te whakaititia, te whakaititia rānei
- Kare i tutuki nga hiahia aronganui
- Te warewaretanga mai i tētahi e arohaina ana
- Te whakamahia
- Te whakaaro noa iho
- Te āhua kāore e rangona, kāore hoki e kitea i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga
- Tukino i te kare a roto pērā i te whakakāha hau, te ārai i te moepuku, te atawhai puku, te whakahaere aroha
- Te tukino ā-tinana, ā-waha rānei
- Whakaaetanga
Ina kore te tangata e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto kino i puta mai i ēnei wheako kino, ki te kore rānei e whakapuaki i ōna whakaaro me ōna kare ā-roto mō ēnei mea ki tōna hoa, ka tere te huri o ngā kare ā-roto kua taupokina ki te riri. Ka puta anō te wheako kino i roto i tōna hinengaro i ngā wā katoa, ā, ka uaua pea ki a ia te tuku, te muru hara me te neke whakamua.
He aha ngā tohu o te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga?
Mā te riri ki tētahi ka kore e taea e koe te muru i ō hara, te tuku rānei i te raruraru nā te mea he nui te riri me te mamae i roto i a koe. Ahakoa rā, he rerekē ia tangata, ia tangata. He rerekē te whanaungatanga o rātou ki tā rātou hoa. Engari he iti noa ngā tohu hei tirotiro māu hei whakatau mēnā kei te pāngia tētahi e te riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga:
- Te mau tonu o ngā kare kino o te riri, te pōuri, te whakarihariha, me te kawa
- Kāore e taea te wareware, te mutu rānei te whakaaro ki te kaupapa i puta ai te riri
- Te pouri, te hiahia rānei kia rerekē te huarahi i mahi ai koe
- Te whai wāhi atu ki te whanonga pukuriri
- He iti ake te hiahia ki ngā kare ā-roto me ngā whakawhanaunga tinana
- Te hiahia nui ki te rapu utu
- Ngā pahūtanga o te riri i ia wā, i ia wā
- Ngā pakanga me ngā tautohetohe tonu, i ētahi wā, kāore he take tika
He mea nui kia mōhio koe ki ēnei tohu o te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga, kia mahi i ngā mahi ārai, kia rapu āwhina hoki i mua i te kino rawa atu o te āhuatanga. Pānuihia kia mōhio ai koe ki te huarahi e taea ai e koe te tuku i tō riri me tō mauahara katoa, me te anga atu ki te hanga hononga hauora me tō hoa.
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Me pēhea te tuku i te mauahara?
Ki te waiho te mauahara kia pirau, ka taea e ia te huri i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora hei whanaungatanga paitini, ā, ka kino hoki ki tō hauora hinengaro . I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, tera pea koe e whakaaro me pēhea te whakakore i te mauahara. Nā te mea kua kitea e tātou ngā tohu o te mauahara i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, kia mārama tātou me pēhea te whakakore i te riri me te mauahara. Āe, kei reira ngā mahi tuku hei āwhina i a koe ki te pehi i te whakaaro kino me te whakakapi i tēnā ki tētahi tirohanga pai ake ki tō whanaungatanga. Anei ētahi huarahi e rima hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me pēhea te whakakore i te mauahara i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga:
1. Kia mārama ki ō kare ā-roto me te take he uaua ki a koe te muru hara
I mua i te rapu huarahi hei tuku i te riri, hei whakamutu hoki i te mauahara, he mea nui kia mārama ki ngā take e puta ai te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga. Keria hohonu ake, whakaaroarohia ō whakaaro, tātarihia ō kare ā-roto. Whakaarohia te pūtake o aua kare ā-roto me ngā kare ā-roto kino o te riri, te pouri, te whakarihariha, me te wehi. He aha ō kare ā-roto ina whakaaro koe ki aua wheako kino o mua? Koinei te taahiraa tuatahi o te tuku i te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga.
2. Kia aroha ki a koe anō
Akohia te aroha ki a koe anō. Me rongo koe i te aroha me te tika ahakoa te āhua o te whanonga a tō hoa ki a koe i mua, ā, koinei tētahi huarahi hei whakatutuki i tēnā. Ina roa rawa tō pupuri i te riri, ka tīmata pea te ahua mōhio me te whakamarie nā te mea kua noho aua kare ā-roto hei wāhanga o tō oranga. Tērā pea kua noho hei tikanga mōu ki te aro atu ki a koe, engari i te wā roa, ka kitea he paitini, he kino hoki ki tō hauora hinengaro me tō oranga. Mā te mahi i te aroha ki a koe anō, te manaaki i a koe anō , me te aro nui ki a koe anō ka āwhina i a koe ki te ora.
3. Me pēhea te tuku i te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga? Whakamahia te aroha
Me pēhea te tuku i te riri? Me pēhea te whakamutu i te riri ki tētahi? Mena kei te pātai koe i ēnei pātai ki a koe anō, ko te whai aroha ake pea te otinga. Ngāna ki te aroha ki te tangata, ki te āhuatanga rānei i puta ai te riri. Tērā pea ka āwhina i a koe ki te tiro i ngā mea mai i tētahi tirohanga rerekē. Tērā pea he māramatanga kore i puta ai tō riri. Mā te tiro i ngā mea mai i te tirohanga a te tangata kua riria e koe ka āwhina pea ki te tuku i ētahi o aua kare ā-roto e pehia ana.
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4. Arotahi ki ngā mea e whakawhetai ana koe
Kaua e titiro ki a koe anō hei patunga, engari ngana ki te arotahi ki ngā mea pai, me te whakapau kaha ki te kimi i ngā mea e whakawhetai ana koe. He mea nui te whakapau i te wā me te kaha ki te mahi i ngā mea e arohaina ana e koe. Puritia he pukapuka tuhi mō ngā mea katoa e whakawhetai ana koe, me ērā e hari ai koe. Ko tētahi o ngā mahi tuku i a koe kia haere, kia tino whai hua. Arotahi ki ngā mea katoa e tika ana mōu, ngā mea e waimarie ana koe ki te whiwhi.
5. Korero ki tetahi kaihautu
Koinei tētahi o ngā huarahi tino nui hei tuku i te riri. Ka whai hua pea te rongoā hinengaro mēnā kei te raru koe i te riri. Mā tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana koe e āwhina ki te kimi i te pūtake o te riri, me te whakatau i taua riri, ā, ka ārahi i a koe ki te huarahi tika kia taea ai e koe te rapu huarahi hei whakakore i te riri mā roto i ngā tikanga rongoā rerekē. Tērā pea he uaua te tukanga whakaora i te tīmatanga, engari i te mutunga ka whai hua. Mā te hohou i te rongo ki tō mua ka āwhina i a koe ki te neke whakamua ki ngā mea pai ake i roto i tō ao. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino whai hua mō te whakakore i te riri me te riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.
Ka taea e te mauahara i roto i ngā whanaungatanga te whakapōrearea i te tangata. Ka taea e te kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i ngā kare ā-roto uaua mā roto i ngā rautaki whai hua ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru. Ahakoa he wā takitahi, he wā whakaora ipurangi rānei, kei a koe te tikanga – ahakoa he aha tāu e pai ai. Ko te whakaaro kia whiwhi āwhina koe. Mena kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga ōrite, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro me pēhea te tuku i te mauahara, kei konei ngā kaiwhakaora whai raihana me te mātau o te pae Bonobology hei āwhina i a koe.
Tohutohu Matua
- He maha ngā wā ka whakaahuahia te mauahara hei wheako i ngā kare ā-roto tino taumaha me te kawa nā te mahi hē, kino rānei a te hunga e arohaina ana.
- Ka puta te mauahara i ngā mahi o mua o te ao, pērā i te whakaititia, te whakahāweatia rānei e ētahi atu, te kore aro o te whānau ki ngā whakatutukitanga, te tinihangatia i roto i te aroha, me ētahi atu mea anō hoki.
- Ko ngā tohu o te mauahara ko te whai i te whanonga pukuriri, te hiahia ki te rapu utu, te iti o te hiahia ki te taatai, ki te whanaungatanga piripono rānei, me te pahūtanga o te riri, hei tauira noa iho.
- Whakaharatauhia te aroha ki a koe anō me te ngākau aroha, kia mārama ki ō kare ā-roto, arotahi ki ngā mea e whakawhetai ana koe, ā, kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te tuku i te riri.
Ka taea e te mauahara te whakarerekē i te ao tūturu o te tangata, tae noa ki te kore e taea e ia te kite i te taha pai o ngā mea. Ehara i te wāhi hauora hei noho. Ae, kua pāngia koe e te mamae, engari me mārama koe ko te pupuri i ngā kare kino ka nui ake te kino i te pai. Kia kaha ki te whakaora i a koe anō. Kia kaha ki te muru hara me te tuku – koinei te wāhanga nui o te tukanga. Kaua e tukua te mauahara kia noho hei wāhanga o tō tuakiri.
FAQs
He uaua te tuku i te mauahara mēnā ka waiho kia pirau i roto i a koe mō te wā roa. Ka kaha haere ngā kare kino o te riri, te wehi, me te pouri i roto i ngā tau, ā, ka noho hei wāhanga o tō tuakiri. Ka noho hei raruraru te whakahaere i te riri me te mauahara nā te mea ka tīmata koe ki te kimi i te haumaru, te whakamarie me te mōhiotanga i roto i aua kare.
Kia mau te kawenga mō ō kare ā-roto. Whakaarohia te hinengaro, me te ngana ki te kimi i te pūtake o te raruraru. Whakamahia te murunga hara, te aroha ki a koe anō me te aroha ki a koe anō. Tuhia he rārangi o ngā mea me ngā tāngata e hari ai koe, e whakawhetai ana rānei koe mō rātou. Whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga mēnā e tika ana.
Āe. E taea ana te whakaora i te whanaungatanga i muri i te mauahara. Ka hiahiatia he wā me te kaha mai i ngā hoa e rua. Me noho kōrua ki te kōrero mō ngā raruraru o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, me te ako ki te muru i te hara tetahi ki tetahi mō te mamae i puta. Ehara i te mahi ngāwari engari ehara hoki i te mea kāore e taea.
Thoughts Final
Ka taea e te mauahara te whakangaro puku i te turanga o ngā whanaungatanga tino kaha mena ka waiho kia kore e arohia. Ko te mohio ki ngā tohu, te mārama ki ngā take, me te whakapau kaha ki te whakaora he taahiraa nui ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki me te whanaungatanga piripono. Ko te tuku i te mauahara me whai maia, te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me te arahi a te tohunga i ētahi wā. Ka taea e ā mātou kaitohutohu mohio te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i ēnei wero, te whakaora i ngā patunga kare ā-roto, me te whakapakari i tō hononga.
Me pēhea te whakatau i te mauahara i roto i te marena? E kī ana te tohunga ki a koe
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
He pou mahana, he pou whai kiko