Kukhala pachibwenzi ngati introvert sikutanthauza kuti munthu ANTHAWI ZONSE amasiyidwa kuti athane ndi kukanidwa kapena adzipeza ali m'mikhalidwe yovuta. Mtundu uwu wa umunthu umakumana ndi zovuta zamtundu wawo pachibwenzi, sitikukana, koma mosiyana ndi zomwe amakuuzani m'mafilimu okhudza anthu obwera kudzacheza nawo, sikuti ndi anthu owoneka bwino omwe amayamba chibwibwi nthawi iliyonse pomwe chiyembekezo chachikondi chikuyandikira.
Ngakhale, monga munthu wongolankhula, tikudziwa kuti mungafune kupukuta ndi bukhu kapena kutenga galu wanu koyenda Lachisanu usiku, vuto lalikulu la chibwenzi likhoza kukuvutitsani nthawi ndi nthawi. Zomvetsa chisoni, inde, pali masiku omwe muyenera kuvala tayi kapena diresi yomwe mudaponyera kumbuyo kwa chipinda, ndikupita ku imodzi mwa malo odyera abwino kwambiri mumzindawu. Kuti musinthane zokometsera, gulani botolo la vinyo lamtengo wapatali, ndikuyesa ngati chinachake chikufukwa kapena ayi, zingawoneke ngati khama lalikulu kwa inu.
Ndinu munthu wokonda pizza komanso wachikondi, ndipo lingaliro loti mutuluke ndikumwa zakumwa zabwino za lesitilanti ndi zakumwa zoledzeretsa limakupangitsani kunjenjemera. Koma sizikutanthauza kuti simungathe kudziyika nokha pamalopo ndikupeza mnzanu amene angakupezeni ndipo akufuna kukhala nanu. Kuti tikuuzeni momwe mungachitire zimenezo, tapanga bukuli lothandiza anthu okonda kukhala ndi chibwenzi, lothandizidwa ndi nzeru kuchokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA, MSc Psychology). Tiyeni tikambirane malangizo ena oti muzichita chibwenzi ngati munthu wokonda kukhala ndi chibwenzi.
Kodi Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi N'kovuta Kwa Anthu Oyambana?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Inde, kukhala pachibwenzi kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kwa anthu ongoyamba kumene, koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti n’zosatheka kapena n’zosatheka kuyambira pachiyambi. Ma introverts amakonda kuyamikira kuya pa nkhani zing'onozing'ono ndi kugwirizana pa kukondweretsa anthu. Makhalidwe a introvert awa ndi mphamvu zotsimikiziridwa mu maubwenzi. Ngakhale kuti muli ndi chibadwa chofuna kuti mukhale ndi chiyanjano chozama ndi munthu, kutenga sitepe yoyamba kungapangitse chibwenzi kwa omwe akungoyamba kumene kukhala otopetsa komanso olemetsa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake:
- Kusokoneza zokonda za anthu: Kukhala m'malo aphokoso, okhala ndi mphamvu zambiri kumatha kukupangitsani kumva kuti mwathetsedwa. Mosiyana ndi anthu omwe amasangalala ndi chipwirikiti chamagulu, anthu omwe amalowetsa nthawi zambiri amafunikira nthawi yokhayo kuti awonjezere. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Laurie Helgoe anati, “Anthu ongolankhula za m’maganizo amalimbikitsidwa chifukwa cha mmene zinthu zilili m’kati mwawo ndipo amakopeka ndi kukopeka kwambiri ndi zakunja.” Izi zikuphatikizapo mipiringidzo, maphwando, ndi chipwirikiti mayendedwe a zibwenzi zamakono.
- Kukakamizidwa kuchita: Oyambitsa ambiri amamva ngati akuyenera kuyika chiwonetsero kuti apikisane. Mukakhala ndi waya kuti muganizire ndi kuyang'ana, kukhala "oyaka" kwa maola ambiri kumatha kukhala kosayenera. Izi zimabweretsa kutopa, zomwe zimatha kupangitsa kuti obwera nawo azilakalaka kusiya chibwenzi zonse.
- Kulephera kuyambitsa: Kusuntha koyamba kungakhale kosokoneza mitsempha. Anthu oyambilira nthawi zambiri amakonda kuganiza mozama, mwina mochulukira. Kupuma kumeneko kungaganizidwe molakwika ngati kopanda chidwi
- Kuvuta kutsegula: Kukhala pachiwopsezo sikophweka, makamaka kwa iwo omwe amasunga malingaliro awo pafupi. Komabe, kugwirizana kwatanthauzo nthawi zambiri kumafuna kumasuka maganizo. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Susan Cain akufotokoza kuti: “Anthu olankhula mawu ongolankhula kaŵirikaŵiri amaganiza asanalankhule, ndipo zimenezi zingalingaliridwe kukhala kusadzikonda kapena kusakondana.”
Izi zati, ma introverts ali ndi zambiri zoti apereke mu maubwenzi - kukhulupirika, kulingalira, chifundo, ndi kumvetsera mozama, kutchula ochepa. Simuyenera kusintha yemwe muli kuti mukhale pachibwenzi bwino. Muyenera kungopeza zomwe zimakuchitirani.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 20 Abwino Kwambiri Okhalira Pachibwenzi ndi Munthu Wamanyazi
Izi zimatifikitsa ku zovuta za momwe tingakhalire ndi chibwenzi ngati introvert. Chabwino, osati pokhala kunyumba ndikuganiza kuti simuli bwino, tikukuuzani zambiri. Tikudziwa kuti zingakhale zochititsa mantha kuwona mtsikana wokongola kwambiri akuyandama mchipindacho, podziwa kuti aliyense amamukonda. Ndipo ganizo lopita kumeneko ndi kunena, “Hei!” adzatembenuza mawondo anu kukhala odzola, tikudziwanso zimenezo.
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ochita zibwenzi kumatha kuwoneka ngati gawo lambiri lazovuta zomwe zimayambitsa nkhawa. Njira yokhayo yomwe ingakuvutitseni ndikutaya malingaliro anu onse okhudzana ndi momwe ndinu osayenera m'mawonekedwe amakono a zibwenzi. Lekani kudziyika nokha mu bokosi ndikuloleza kuti lifotokoze chilichonse chomwe mumachita.
Kenako, yesani kudzipezera mwayi ndikuyesera nokha pamene mukuyamba kukopeka ndi winawake. Ngati simutero, palibe amene adzatero. Kupaka mafuta onunkhira olakwika, kutulutsa nkhani yosayenera, kapena kupanga mawu okhumudwitsa mwangozi, aliyense amachita zimenezo. Ngakhale anthu odzidalira kwambiri, omwe amaoneka ngati akungoyendayenda padziko lapansi.
Musalole kuti ziwopsezo zing'onozing'ono zikhale zazikulu m'mutu mwanu, ndipo mudzawona kuti mavuto ambiri omwe amakumana nawo omwe amawoneka ngati osatheka kuthana nawo adzakhala osavuta kuthana nawo. Tsopano, tiyeni tikambirane momwe tingathetsere mavutowa pamene akukula ndi maupangiri anzeru awa, osavuta kukhazikitsa amomwe mungakhalire ndi chibwenzi ngati munthu wamba.
Malangizo 11 Kuti Mukhale Ndi Chibwenzi Monga Woyamba
Kukhala pachibwenzi monga momwe amachitira, makamaka, kumaphatikizapo kudzichotsa pa malo anu otonthoza. Zambiri kuchokera kumalo anu otonthoza! Kaya mukuyesera kukopana ndi mtsikana wotenthayo paphwando kapena mukuganiza momwe mungapangire kuti anthu awonekere koyamba pamene mukuyesera kuchita zibwenzi pa intaneti monga introvert, timati, "Zabwino kwa inu!" Ndife okondwa kuti mukudziyika nokha kunja ndikufufuza zomwe mungakonde. Koma kodi mumathetsa bwanji mavuto anu a chibwenzi? Chabwino, musanayambe kupita ku hottie yemweyo ndikupanga faux pas, ndikofunikira kuti mudutse mndandanda wa maupangiri ndi zidule zomwe takupangirani.
1. Musalole kuti mpikisano ukugonjetseni
Chimodzi mwa zolakwa zazikulu zomwe mungachite mukakhala pachibwenzi monga introvert ndi kutaya zonse zomwe muli ndi morph nokha kukhala munthu wina kuti musangalatse khamu. Juhi akutiuza kuti, “Anthu olankhula mawu oyamba sangathe kufotokoza maganizo awo kotheratu, ndipo zimenezi zingawathandize kukhala ndi makhalidwe enaake kuti azioneka ngati abwino.”
Ngati zimenezo zikumveka ngati inuyo, tiyeni tikuuzeni, mukuyamba chibwenzi molakwika. Ngakhale kuti zingakhale zoopsa kudziyika nokha pamalo olakwika, muyenera kukhala woona mtima komanso wopanda manyazi ngati mukufuna kupeza mnzanu weniweni. Posachedwapa adzazindikira 'chikondi chanu cha mpira' akadzazindikira kuti simukudziwa ngakhale Clay Matthews. Choncho musalole kuti mpikisanowo ukupangitseni kukhala chinthu chomwe simuli. Zimenezo sizikutanthauza kuti cholinga chake chili bwino.
2. Zibwenzi zapaintaneti za anthu ongoyamba kumene—inde wamkulu!
N'zovuta kulankhula ndi wolandila alendo watsopano ku phwando la ofesi yanu kapena kukumana ndi mnzanu wa msuweni wanu amene munakumana naye ku State Fair. Nkhawa yanu yokhudza chibwenzi idzafika pachimake pazochitika izi. Ikubwera kudzakupulumutsani… mapulogalamu opezera chibwenzi pa intaneti! Njira ya pa intaneti imakuthandizani kupeza chibwenzi kapena chibwenzi.
Ah, ndikukhumba ndikanakuuzani momwe zimakhalira zosavuta kukhala wekha ukakhala wotetezedwa kuseri kwa foni. Makamaka, ngati mukuyesetsabe kupeza malo abwino ndikupeza mtundu wa munthu amene mungakhale naye, ndiye kuti mulowe mu dziwe lochezera pa intaneti. Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa kuti, "Kodi anthu osakondana amapeza bwanji chikondi?", mwatopa ndi kudziona mukugwa ndi kupsa mtima nthawi iliyonse mukayesa kulankhula ndi munthu amene mukufuna, ndi nthawi yoti mutsegule sitolo ya mapulogalamu pafoni yanu ndikuyamba kusakatula mapulogalamu ochezera. Kodi mumadziwa kuti pali mawebusayiti ena ochezerana omwe amasankhidwa bwino kwa anthu osakondana ? Yang'anani!
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3. Musamachite mantha mukaganiza zokhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene sali pa chibwenzi
Chabwino, poyambira, chitani kokha ngati muli omasuka 100% powazungulira ndikumva ngati mutha kuwakhulupirira ndi chilichonse. Kungoti ali ndi tsitsi lopiringizika ndipo amalankhula ndi barista mwachidwi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kumenyana ndi dzino ndi msomali kuti mumupangitse chikondi cha moyo wanu. Extroverts akhoza kukhala mantha kwa inu. Ngakhale zoopsa nthawi zina. Koma ngati mumasamala za iwo ndi kuphunzira kulinganiza, ungakhale unansi wa moyo wonse.
Juhi akuti, “Anthu okonda kucheza ndi anthu ena amakhala ochezeka, ochezeka, ndipo amakhala ndi anthu abwino olumikizana kuposa anthu okonda kukhala okha m’maubwenzi. Koma ngati onse awiri akumvetsa momwe umunthu wa wina ndi mnzake umagwirira ntchito, kwenikweni zimapangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale wolimba kwambiri. Choncho musaope kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda kucheza ndi anthu ena ngati munthu wokonda kukhala okha. Mnzawoyo akhoza kupereka malangizo, atamvetsetsa umunthu wa munthu winayo, kuti athe kufotokoza bwino momwe akumvera.”
4. Kalankhulidwe kakang'ono si munthu woipa
Kuyankhula kwakung'ono kumapeza mayankho oyipa, ngakhale kuchokera kwa anthu ongolankhula masiku ambiri. Koma zachisoni, chitukuko chatiphunzitsa kuti muyenera kufunsa munthu momwe tsiku lawo likuyendera musanayambe kugwirizana chifukwa cha udani wanu ndi amphaka. Tikukhumba kuti dziko likhale losavuta, koma musanagonjetse, ndikofunikira kuti mulankhule pang'ono ndikukhazikitsa chitonthozo. Chifukwa chake, ngakhale zingakhale zokwiyitsa, kuyankhula pang'ono ndi tikiti yanu yopita ku china chachikulu. Ndicho chifukwa chake munthu ayenera kupukuta maluso awa. Yesetsani kutsogolo kwa galasi ngati mukufunikira. Yesetsani kulankhula ndi galu wanu. Yesaninso, kuyankhula ndi mtengo ngati muli ndi nkhawa.
5. Onetsetsani kuti mumafunsa mafunso abwino mukakhala pachibwenzi monga introvert
Chimodzi mwa mitu yofunika kwambiri mu malangizo awa okhudza chibwenzi ngati munthu wodzipatula ndi kusunga chibwenzicho kukhala chosangalatsa. Ngati zikukuvutani kulankhula zambiri za inu nokha, ingosangalatsani chibwenzi chanu ndi luso lanu labwino lomvetsera. Ngati mukuchita chibwenzi mwachangu kapena mukukanthidwa ndi mnyamata ku lesitilanti, zingakhale zochititsa mantha kuganizira momwe mungapititsire kukambirana. Pazochitika zotere, zingakhale zothandiza kukhala ndi mafunso odziwika bwino omwe mwasankha kale m'mutu mwanu kapena ngakhale pa pulogalamu yanu ya Notes pafoni yanu (sitidzakuuzani) kuti mutha kufunsa chibwenzi chanu.
6. Oyamba m'maubwenzi ayenera kuphunzira momwe angafotokozere zakukhosi kwawo
Yupsy daisy, ichi ndi chinthu chimodzi chomwe muyenera kuchita. Monga tidanenera kale, muyenera kuchoka pamalo anu otonthoza pang'ono ngati mukufuna kuchita bwino pachibwenzi ngati munthu wamba. Tsopano, simuyenera kutenga maluwa anu onse madeti pamene chibwenzi monga introvert munthu. Koma kupsompsonana kwabwino kwabwino pamphumi kapena mawu achikondi kumathandizira masewera anu kwambiri. Kungonena.
Juhi anati: “Pankhani ya chikondi, chikondi, ndi malingaliro, umunthu suchititsa kusiyana kulikonse. Monga ndakatulo komanso kukongola monga momwe lingalirolo lirili, mutsanzikana ndi ma jitters anu ndipo tengani sitepe imodzi ndi nthawi kusonyeza chikondi ngati muli ndi chidwi chomunyengerera mtsikanayo.
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7. Khalani owona mtima pazovuta zanu za chibwenzi
Tikhulupirireni, anyamata ndi atsikana amakonda munthu yemwe amatha kuseka okha. Chifukwa chake m'malo mopanga umunthu wanu kukhala nkhani yachinsinsi yomwe iyenera kutsekedwa, ikumbatireni ndikuilandira bwino. M'malo movala zabodza zachimuna, ingolowani mmenemo ndikunena kuti, "Ndinapunthwa panjira pano chifukwa ndinali wamantha kuti ndiwe wokongola bwanji."
Mukuona momwe zinalili zosavuta? Kukhala woona mtima pa zomwe muli sizikutanthauza kuti simungalowe mu kukopana kwabwino . Juhi akugogomezera kuti, “Ngati munthu ameneyo ndi woyenera kwa inu, adzamvetsetsa ndi kulemekeza umunthu wa munthu amene sangatsegule maganizo ake poyamba. Kuleza mtima, kumvetsetsa, ndi kulemekeza kusiyana kwa maganizo ndiye chinsinsi.” Kotero ngakhale mutakhumudwa, adzaseka nanu ndipo adzamvetsa bwino!
8. Khalani osamala ndi momwe mumadzitengera nokha
Kuganiza mopitirira muyeso ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira zoyambira, koma musalole kuti zisokoneze chibwenzi chanu ndikupangitsani kudzidalira nokha. Mmodzi mwa maupangiri ofunikira pachibwenzi kwa oyambira ndikutseka mwachidwi kuzungulira kopitilira muyeso komwe kumakusiyani mukungoganizira zonse. "O, akuyang'ana mkono wanga. Kodi amadana ndi kunenepa kwake?" "OMG, wakhala pafupi kwambiri ndi ine. Kodi ndimamva bwino?"
Musalole kuti nkhawa zimenezi zikugonjetseni; muli ndi izi. Khalani tcheru, onetsani thupi lanu bwino , ndipo onetsani munthu winayo kuti ndinu wolandira bwino komanso kuti mulipo panthawiyo. Kuonetsa nkhawa yanu poyera kudzangomudetsa nkhawa, ndipo palibe aliyense wa inu amene adzakhala wabwino kwambiri pa tsikuli. Choncho, siyani kupukuta thukuta pamphumi panu, dzipanikizeni nokha ngati kuli koyenera, ndipo yesetsani kusunga zonse pamodzi.
9. Osagwedezeka ndi kukanidwa pamene ali pachibwenzi ngati introvert
“Mwina samandikonda chifukwa ndinatayira chakumwacho pa malaya a bwenzi lake paphwando la kunyumba kwake”, kapena “Amadana nane chifukwa sindilankhula mokwanira.” Yup, inu nonse anazolowera izi zoipa kudzikonda kulankhula, nthawi iliyonse kukambirana pa 'mameseji siteji' amapita kutsika kapena munthu anagwa m'malo movutikira, mizukwa inu pambuyo yachiwiri deti.
Tidzakhala enieni ndi inu. Zifukwa zimenezo zikhoza kukhala zoona. Koma apa pali chinthu - zikhoza kukhala zoona kwa aliyense! Tikudziwa kuti mukakhala pachibwenzi ngati munthu wamba, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuchotsa malingaliro oipawa. Lekani kulowetsa zochitika zonse zoipa ndikudziweruza nokha mopanda chilungamo chimodzimodzi. Zinthu zina zimayenda bwino ndipo zina sizikuyenda bwino. Njira yokhayo yochitira bwino pachibwenzi ndi kusaganiza mopambanitsa ndi kuganizira zokumana nazo zoyipa ndikuphunzira kuchokera kwa iwo m'malo mwake.
10. Konzani masiku anu mwanzeru
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu amene amangowaona kuti n’kovuta kungachititse kuti munthu asamavutike maganizo. Pamene simuli pamalo abwino m'maganizo, simungathe kusangalala ndi zochitikazo, ziribe kanthu momwe munthu wina alili wamkulu kapena wokondweretsa. Mfundo imodzi yofunika kwambiri yopezera chibwenzi ngati munthu woti muyambe chibwenzi ndiyo kusiya njira yanu ndikuyang'ana momwe mukumvera komanso momwe mukumvera.
Ngati inu kale chikhalidwe wotopa pambuyo tsiku lonse la ntchito kapena chochitika chachikulu, imeneyo si nthawi kupita tsiku loyamba. Simungachite bwino, ndipo izi sizabwino kwa inu kapena kwa munthu wina. Dzipatseni chipinda chopumira musanayambe komanso pambuyo pa tsiku, ndikusankha nthawi yomwe mukudziwa kuti mudzapumula. Mukapanga pulani, isungeni kukhala yotsika. Tsiku la khofi, kuyenda, kapena kuyendera malo ogulitsa mabuku omwe mumakonda. Mudzawoneka omasuka komanso omasuka. Ndipo mukamadzimva nokha, kulumikizana kumakhala kowona kwambiri.
11. Phunzirani kutuluka mwaulemu
Anthu oyambilira nthawi zambiri amakakamira pazochitika zomwe zimatenga nthawi yayitali chifukwa safuna kuchita mwano. Koma zimenezi zingayambitse kutopa ndi kukhumudwa. Mwadzidzidzi, simukugwirizana ndi munthu amene muli naye. Mwachezeredwa. Chemistry ndi yodabwitsa. Mwadzidzidzi, mwagwidwa mu tsiku lina loipa, ndikudabwa, "Kodi oyambitsa amapeza bwanji chikondi?"
Chinsinsi cha kuthetsa vutoli ndi kudziwa nthawi yotuluka komanso momwe mungachitire mokoma mtima. Konzekerani mawu otuluka mwaulemu: "Ndakhala ndi nthawi yabwino, koma ndamenyedwa patatha tsiku lalitali. Tiyeni tikambiranenso nthawi ina?" Dziikirenitu malire a nthawi ngati mukudziwa kuti simuchedwa kutopa, ndipo dziloleni kuika patsogolo mphamvu zanu. Malire si ozizira. Iwo amalemekeza inu ndi tsiku lanu. Ndipo mukadziwa luso lochoka mwachikondi, chibwenzi sichimasokoneza.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Ma introverts amakumana ndi zovuta zapadera za chibwenzi monga kutopa, kukayikira kuyambitsa, komanso kuvutikira kutsegula, koma kuzama kwawo ndi chifundo ndi mphamvu mu maubwenzi.
- Khalani oona mtima kwa inu nokha m'malo motengera mikhalidwe yonyansa. Kuwona, osati magwiridwe antchito, kumamanga kulumikizana kwenikweni
- Gwiritsani ntchito zibwenzi zapaintaneti ndikufunsani mafunso oganiza bwino kuti muzitha kukambirana komanso kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino
- Yesetsani kufotokoza zakukhosi komanso kudzidziwitsa nokha. Tsegulani pang'onopang'ono, lankhulani moona mtima, ndipo musaganize mopambanitsa zokanidwa kapena nthawi zovuta
- Khazikitsani malire ndikuyika patsogolo mphamvu zanu pokonza masiku anzeru, otsika komanso kuphunzira kutuluka mwaulemu pakafunika kutero.
Maganizo Final
Mukuona? Kuchita chibwenzi ngati munthu wosakhazikika sikuyenera kukhala kovuta kwambiri. Poyamba zingamveke ngati zovuta pang'ono, koma mukaphunzira kumasuka, mukamafunsa mafunso oyenera , ndipo mukamamva kuti ndinu wodalirika, njira yonseyi idzasiya kukuvutitsani. Komabe, mudzalakwitsanso. Kaya muyamba kudzikanda mwamantha kapena kutaya chikwama chanu pansi, ndi zachibadwa kuchita zolakwika zimenezo. Musalole kuti zikupangitseni kukhala womasuka, ndipo yesaninso!
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
