9 Ndondomeko Yowunikira Musanayambe Kupereka Mwayi Wachiwiri Pazibwenzi

Zinthu zikavuta pachibwenzi kapena munthu wakale akabweranso kupempha kuti akonze, timayesedwa ndi lingaliro lopatsa mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, mayeserowo amawoneka amphamvu kwambiri kuti asawanyalanyaze.

Ndipotu, kafukufuku wina akuti anthu pafupifupi 70% amakhala ndi chisoni pa moyo wawo. Kafukufuku yemweyo adapezanso kuti amuna ndi omwe amakonda kwambiri chibwenzi kuposa akazi. Tikhulupirireni tikamanena kuti anthu ambiri akhala pamalo omwe muli pano.

Musanayambe kuganizira zopatsa mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi, pali zinthu zingapo zofunika zomwe muyenera kuziganizira, mndandanda wazinthu zosiyanasiyana. Mothandizidwa ndi Shazia Saleem (Masters in Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani yopatukana ndi uphungu wothetsa ukwati, tiyeni tiwone zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa musanapereke mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi.

9 Mndandanda Wowunika Musanapereke Mwayi Wachiwiri Pazibwenzi

"Bwanji ndikupatseni mwayi wina?" Izi zinali mwatsoka funso lomwe Ginny, wowerenga ku Wisconsin, sanamufunse wakale wake, yemwe anali kuchonderera mwayi wachiwiri patatha sabata atasiyana.

Iye sankadziwa, chifukwa chokha chimene iye ankafunira kuti awonekerenso ndi Ginny chinali kuyesa kumuchitira nsanje zomwe anali atangomaliza kumene, Amanda. “Ndinadzimva kukhala wogwiritsiridwa ntchito, woperekedwa, ndi wokhumudwitsidwa mwa ine ndekha.” Ndinakopeka kwambiri ndi zikumbukiro zathu ndipo ndinamlola kuti abwerere m’moyo wanga mosavuta kuposa mmene ndinayenera kuchitira,” anatero Ginny.

Kupatsa mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi kungakhale kovuta. Kodi mukudziika pachiwopsezo chokhumudwa, kapena muyenera kuchitapo kanthu? Kodi zinthu ziyamba kuyenda bwino kapena ndi tsoka lina lomwe likuyembekezera kuchitika? Shazia ali ndi maganizo ofanana ndi ake pankhaniyi.

"Nthawi zambiri, kupereka mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi kungakhale lingaliro labwino. Izi zili choncho chifukwa nthawi zina si anthu oipa koma zinthu sizingakhale zabwino. Nkhani ya munthu woyenera, nthawi yolakwika, titero kunena kwake."

“Mwinamwake anachita chifukwa chaukali kapena ukali, kapena sanathe kufotokoza maganizo awo moyenera.” Ngati okwatiranawo akuonadi kuti angathe kukonza zinthu m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kupereka mwaŵi wachiwiri m’chibwenzi kungakhale lingaliro labwino.

Kuti musatsirize kulowanso kumapeto kwenikweni kwa dziwe, ndi zinthu ziti zomwe muyenera kukumbukira? Nazi mndandanda wazinthu zonse zomwe muyenera kuziganizira:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 13 Zobwererera ndi Wakale Wanu

Khwerero #1: Kodi mungakhululukire mnzanu?

Shazia anati: “Kukhululukira munthu musanamupatse mwayi wachiwiri m’mabwenzi n’kofunika kwambiri,” akutero Shazia, “muyenera kukumbukira kuti pamene mukhululukira munthu, sikuti mukumuchitira zimenezo.

“Mukawakhululukira, siyani malingaliro oipa ndi chidani chimene mwakhala nacho.” Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani kuyambiranso ubale wanu wosamala ndi wolimbikitsa, wopanda mkwiyo ndi malingaliro osathetsedwa.”

Musanaganize za mafunso monga “N’chifukwa chiyani ndiyenera kukupatsani mwayi wina?” kapena “Kodi ndiyenera kumupatsa mwayi wina atandipweteka?”, muyenera kusankha ngati mungathe kukhululukira ndikuiwala zolakwa zawo . Pokhapokha ngati simungathe kuchita izi, kuyesa kubwezeretsa zinthu kungakhale kopanda phindu.

Khwerero #2: Ganizirani ngati izi ndi zomwe mukufuna

Pamene inu anagwidwa ndi mafano kukumbukira nthawi inu nonse munakhala pamodzi, n'zosavuta kusochera m'maloto ndi kutengeka. Komabe, onetsetsani kuti mwakwanitsa kupanga chisankho mwanzeru.

“Mukangokhululukira munthu, mudzakhala ndi chithunzithunzi chabwino m’maganizo ndi mumtima mwanu cha zimene muyenera kuchita, ngakhale mungafunike kuchoka pa zimenezo.

"Kuti mukwaniritse izi, muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti palibe malingaliro olakwika omwe ali nawo posankha zochita. Mukakhala osalowerera ndale komanso osaweruza, mumakhala panjira yoyenera," akutero Shazia. Zizindikiro zikuyenera kudikiriranso, onetsetsani kuti mukuzinena nokha za chisankho chanu musanaganizire momwe wina akumvera.

Khwerero #3: Dziwani chifukwa chomwe mwapereka mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi

Kodi mukuganiza zosiya momwe munthuyu akupweteketsani chifukwa mukukhumudwa kukhala osakwatiwa? Kapena mukuchita izi chifukwa anzanu adayankha, "Awiri anga amodzi !!", Pazithunzi zanu za Instagram ndipo akufuna kuti mukhale limodzi? Ngati ndi choncho, muyenera kuganizanso.

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , chifukwa chofala kwambiri chomwe anthu akale amabwererana ndi malingaliro omwe sanathe kuwasiya. Kenako amamva kuti amadziwana, ali ndi ubale wabwino, komanso amamva chisoni.

“Osapereka mpata chifukwa chofuna kuchitira zabwino anthu, kapena munthu wina aliyense.” Ngati anzanu kapena achibale anu akufuna kuti mukhale limodzi, perekani zofunika kwambiri pa zimene mukufuna.” Chikondi chimafunika kuzingidwa ndi kuchirikizidwa ndi zinthu zina zambiri kuti munthu apulumuke, choncho onetsetsani kuti zimene mwasankhazo sizichokera pa zinthu zazing’ono,” anatero Shazia.

Khwerero #4: Dziwani ngati munthuyu akufunadi mwayi wina

Simungathe kutsimikizira ngati wina akuyenera kukhala ndi mwayi wachiwiri, koma mutha kutsimikiza kuti alidi zenizeni. Malinga ndi Shazia, chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kuziganizira mukamapereka mwayi wachiwiri mu maubwenzi ndi ngati munthu amene mukumupatsayo akumvadi chisoni ndi zomwe adachita. 

“Ngati mnzanu wabwera kwa inu n’kuona kuti akunong’oneza bondo chifukwa cha kukukhumudwitsani, ndikuona kuti n’zotheka kuti zimenezi n’zoona.” N’zoona kuti pali zina zimene muyenera kuziganizira.

Ndiye ngati wina abweranso kwa inu, onetsetsani kuti nanunso mumamvera m'matumbo anu. Kodi mumamva kuti munthuyo akupepesadi?

Khwerero #5: Ganizirani ngati muli paubwenzi woyipa

Kodi kupatsa munthu mwayi wina kumatanthauza chiyani? Zikutanthauza kuti mukuyembekezera tsogolo limene mudzakhala osangalala muubwenzi, pamene nonse muli odzipereka kuti zinthu zikhale bwino. Koma ngati mukulowanso pachibwenzi choyipa ponena kuti inde, mukufuna kuganiziranso kupereka mwayi wachiwiri muubwenzi.

Maubwenzi oopsa amakhala ndi njira yokhalira oipa. Ngakhale mnzanu woopsa angakupatseni chithunzi chabwino cha tsogolo lanu ndikukuuzani chilichonse chomwe mukufuna kumva, nthawi zina sizikhala zosavuta. Ngati munali pachibwenzi chomwe chimawononga thanzi lanu la maganizo kapena la thupi mwanjira iliyonse, ndibwino kupitiriza.

Khwerero #6: Kodi mukuganiza kuti itha kugwiranso ntchito? 

Musanayankhe kuti "kupempha mwayi wachiwiri paubwenzi", onetsetsani kuti chifukwa cha mavuto anu chikhoza kuthetsedwa bwino. Mwachitsanzo, ngati chifukwa chimene zinthu sizinayende bwino chinali chifukwa cha mtunda umene ulipo pakati pa inu nonse, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti tsopano mwakonza zoti mukumane mwanjira inayake kapena kuti mupirire mtunda umene uli pakati panu.

Mofananamo, ngati ndewu yobwerezabwereza inali nkhani yaikulu, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti muli ndi dongosolo la masewera. Mutha kuwona zizindikiro zonse kuti akuyenera kulandiranso mwayi wachiwiri, koma pokhapokha mutasankha zoyenera kuchita pankhondo yomwe mumakhala nayo masiku awiri aliwonse, zinthu sizingagwire ntchito ngakhale muli ndi zolinga zabwino. 

Khwerero 7: Ganizirani ngati inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mumalemekezana

"Kodi ndimupatsenso mwayi wina atandipweteka?" likhoza kumveka ngati funso lachindunji, koma pali zambiri zomwe zimachitika kuseri kwa zochitika. Monga momwe Shazia ananenera, chikondi chimafunika kuzingidwa ndi kuchirikizidwa ndi zinthu zambiri kuti chipulumuke, ndipo mosakayikira ulemu ndi chimodzi mwa izo. 

Kodi kupatsa wina mwayi wachiwiri kumatanthauza chiyani? Zimatanthauza kuti muli ndi chidaliro chakuti zinthu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wabwino nthawi zonse zimakhalapo m'njira yanu. Kuti nonse mumalemekezana, mumathandizana nthawi iliyonse yomwe mungathe, ndipo mutha kulankhulana pamavuto anu.

Khwerero #8: Kodi nonse ndinu okonzeka kuti izi zitheke?

Musanapereke mwayi wachiwiri mu maubwenzi, mvetsetsani kuti ubale sungathe kugwira ntchito pokhapokha ngati aliyense wokhudzidwayo wadzipereka kuti ukhale wokhalitsa. “Ngati anthu aŵiri akulonjeza kuti adzachita khama pazochitika zawo, ziyenera kuonekeratu kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yochitira zinthu.

“Nthawi zambiri, anthu aŵiri amakhala okondana kwambiri, koma mbali zina za chikondicho sizingayende bwino.” Zotsatira zake n’zakuti pamapeto pake amapatukana.Ngati mukunena kuti mukufuna kuti zinthu zisinthe, n’kofunika kuti nonse muyesetse kuonetsetsa kuti mbali zonsezo zikugwirizana ndi inuyo. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa 13 Zosabwezera Munthu Wakale Amene Anakusiyani

Khwerero #9: Zindikirani kuti kukonzanso chikhulupiriro sikukhala kophweka 

Muli ndi mauthenga onse akuti “Ndikupempha mwayi wina muubwenziwu!”, ndipo mwasankha kuchitapo kanthu kuti muyambenso kukhala ndi chikhulupiriro. Komabe, chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe muyenera kukumbukira ndichakuti kumanganso chidaliro mukatha kusweka ndi kukwera phiri.

"Muyenera kukhala oleza mtima kwambiri ndipo muyenera kupereka nthawi ndi malo ku ubale wanu kuti ukhale wokhoza kupuma. Onetsetsani kuti musabwereze zolakwa zakale ndipo musabweretse zochitika zakale pazokambirana zamakono.

“Nthawi zonse yesetsani kusaloŵerera m’ndale, ndipo mverani chisoni mnzanuyo.” Pamene zoyesayesa zanu zonse ziyamba kupindula, mudzawona zinthu ziyamba kuyenda bwino ndi kupanga chithunzi chowonekera bwino. 

Simungathe kutsimikizira kuti wina akuyenera kukhala ndi mwayi wachiwiri ndipo wina akapanda kutero, chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungadutse pamtunduwu ndikumverera kwanu m'matumbo. Kupereka mwayi wachiwiri mu maubwenzi sikophweka, choncho onetsetsani kuti mwatenga nthawi yanu ndi chisankho chanu ndikungochita zomwe muli nazo.

Ngati mukuvutika kudziwa chochita ndi vuto lomwe mwakumana nalo, gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito yopezera chibwenzi komanso akatswiri amisala a Bonobology angakuthandizeni kudziwa njira yabwino kwambiri yochitira zinthu.

Ibibazo

Zifukwa 7 Zomwe Ex Wanu Ndi Wotentha Komanso Wozizira - Ndi Momwe Mungathanirane Nawo

Kukonza Ubale Wapoizoni - Njira 21 Zochiritsira PAMODZI

Zinthu 10 Zazikulu Kwambiri Mu Ubale

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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