Pamene ululu wamtima ndi kusowa tulo usiku umakhala wochuluka kwambiri, mtima wanu wopweteka ukhoza kukulimbikitsani kuti mubwererenso ndi wakale wanu. Kuyika pambali mafunso ambiri ndi kukayikira komwe chisankhochi chimabweretsa, magawo obwererana ndi munthu wakale nthawi zambiri amakhala ovuta.
Mafunso miliyoni amabwera m'maganizo mwanu, "Kodi kubwererananso mutatha kupatukana ndi lingaliro labwino?", "Kodi ndizotheka?", "Kodi ndichite?" Ngakhale mayankho ali ochepa, chinthu chokhacho chomwe mumadziwa ndichakuti mukufuna kumvanso kukondedwa.
Chimene chinabweretsa ululu wanu ndi chomwe chidzathetsa, ndipo palibe chomwe chikuwoneka ngati mankhwala abwino kwambiri kuposa manja a munthu amene munamutcha mnzanuyo, atakulungidwa mwamphamvu mozungulira inu. Tiyeni tiwone magawo obwererana ndi wakale, komanso ngati muyenera kuchita izi poyamba kapena ayi.
Mumadziwa Bwanji Ngati Mukuyenera Kubwererana Ndi Ex?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati mukufuna kuti wakale wanu abwerere m'moyo wanu nthawi yomweyo, kodi mukutsimikiza kuti ndi lingaliro labwino kutsatira ubale womwe unayambitsa zowawa zonsezi? Kupatula apo, ziyenera kuti zidatha pazifukwa zazikulu zokwanira kuti zitheke.
Kuphatikiza apo, magawo obwererana ndi munthu wakale amabweretsa chipwirikiti chawo ndi zokwera ndi zotsika, monga mudzadziwira posachedwa. Si ndendende ulendo wophweka kwambiri padziko lapansi kuti uyambe, kotero musatengeke ndi nyimbo zonse za Taylor Swift.
Ngati panali malamulo oti mubwererenso ndi munthu wakale, choyamba chikanakhala kusiya kukondana kwanu ndi kuganiza bwino. Simukufuna kuyamba chibwenzi china choipa koma kungoyamba kuletsana nthawi zonse pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti.
Izi n’zimene zinachitikira Kayla, yemwe anagwirizananso atasiyana ndi chibwenzi chake, Kalebe. Koma vuto n’lakuti anachita zimenezi nthawi yake isanakwane, n’kumangofuna kulakalaka mavuto awo onse atha m’malo mongowanena. Pamene kutengeka koyambirira kwa "kuyambiranso" chibwenzicho kunatha patapita masiku awiri, mikangano yodziwika bwino inayambanso, kubweretsanso mavuto omwewo.
Kayla anati: “Poyamba, kugwirizana ndi mkazi wanga wakale amene ananditaya kunkaoneka ngati chinthu chabwino kwambiri. Iye ananenanso kuti: “Tinasiyana chifukwa choti ankakhulupirirana komanso kuchita nsanje.
Pamene mukuganizira ngati muyenera kubwererana ndi wakale kapena ayi, muyenera kukambirana moona mtima. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa ngati kuyanjananso ndi wakale ndi chisankho chokhazikika, m'malo mongokupatsani chisangalalo pakadali pano. Kodi mudzatha kuchita zinthu pang'onopang'ono ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale kapena chibwenzi chanu, kapena mukufunitsitsa kudumphira ndi mapazi onse awiri, kuvulala pamalo omwewo omwe mudadumphirapo nthawi yomaliza? Tengani kamphindi kuganizira zonsezi ndikuganizira mfundo izi:
1. N’chifukwa chiyani chibwenzicho chinatha?
Ngati panali funso limodzi lokha labwino lomwe lidatsimikiza ngati kubwererananso mutasiyana ndi munthu wakale ndi lingaliro labwino kapena ayi, ndi ili. Kodi kunali kusakhulupirika? Kodi inali nsanje? Kapena chifukwa chakuti simunathe kupirira BO yake?
Ngati chinali china chapamwamba ngati chomaliza, pali chifukwa chonse padziko lapansi choyanjanitsa. Komabe, ngati inali imodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri monga kusakhulupirika kapena kukhulupirirana, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti nonse munagwirapo ntchito pamavuto musanayambe kupita kulikonse pafupi ndi magawo a kubwereranso limodzi ndi wakale.
Kusagwira ntchito pa mavuto akale ndikulowa mu mgwirizano kuli ngati anthu okhala ku Chernobyl akubwerera kukakhala kumeneko chifukwa "zikumveka mosiyana, mukudziwa?"
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2. Kodi mukufuna kuti ex wanu abwerere?
Kunali kutengeka maganizo kapena muli m'chikondi chenicheni? Kodi mumakonda kukhala m'chikondi kapena mumamukondadi munthuyu? Kodi mukuganiza zobwereranso ndi wakale chifukwa amaoneka okongola pa nkhani zanu za Instagram?
Inde, funso lomaliza silingakhale chifukwa chachikulu cha zochitika zambiri, koma funsoli limakhala lomwelo. Kodi mukufunadi izi , kapena mwangodzitsimikizira kuti mukufunadi? Dziwani ngati munali okondana kapena mukukondana . Nthawi zambiri, mumadziwa kale ngati mukungokondana ndi lingaliro loti mukondane, kapena ngati muli ndi malingaliro enieni pa munthu amene munali naye pafupi kwambiri.
Ganizilani izi: kodi (mnzanu wakale) ndi munthu amene mungakhale naye paubwenzi? Kodi mumadziona mukuwakonda umunthu wawo, momwe iwo alili, kapena mumangodziona kuti ndinu okonda (werengani: mukusowa) kukumbatirana ndi zabwino? Kaya mukubwereranso ndi chibwenzi chakale kapena munthu amene munali naye kwa miyezi ingapo, ndikofunikira kuwunika zomwe mumaphonya kwambiri: ubale, kapena munthu amene mumamukonda?
3. Kodi ex wako akukufunani?
Kodi wakale wanu anati, "Eya, chabwino, ndikuganiza titha kuyesa," kapena amakukondani monga momwe mumachitira nawo? Inu simungakhoze kwenikweni kudutsa magawo a kubwerera pamodzi ndi wakale ngati wakale wanu sakufuna kuyesetsa.
Kugonana mutatha kutha kungayambitsenso chikondi chomwe chinatayika kwa inu, koma ukhoza kungokhala usiku wonong'oneza bondo chifukwa cha wakale wanu. Kuonetsetsa kuti zinthu sizikuvuta mutabwererana, onetsetsani kuti mukufunana chimodzimodzi. Makamaka ngati mukuyesera kuyambitsa chiyanjanitso musanakumane.
4. Kodi mayendedwe amasiyana?
Lamulo lalikulu kwambiri loti mubwererenso ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale ndi kupitirizabe ngati pali kusintha kwakukulu kuchokera ku ubale wosayenera womwe unapangitsa kuti mulekane.
Ngati mukudabwa zinthu monga, “Kodi ndibwererane ndi wakale wanga?”, mpofunika kuyang'ana mmene inu nonse mukukonzekera kuchita chibwenzi musanachite zina.
Ubale suyenera kukhala wotopetsa ndipo nthawi yomwe mumakhala ndi mnzanuyo iyenera kukhala ngati mphindi yofunikira yomwe mwachibadwa imakupangitsani kukhala osangalala. Zisamakupangitseni kukhumba mutamenya chitseko ndikuyamba kuyenda mbali ina kutali ndi iwo.
5. Kodi udani ukadalipo kapena mwakhululukirana?
Kusweka ndi kovuta. Munkhani inanso, madzi anyowa. Aliyense amaimba mlandu munthu wina chifukwa cha kutha kwa chisudzulo ndipo masewera olakwa samatha pokhapokha ngati pali malingaliro ogawana udindo ndi kukula kwakukulu kwaumwini kwakwaniritsidwa.
Dziwani kuti simukwaniritsa #kukula mwa kulemba nkhani kapena kudzisangalatsa nokha ku spa day. Kusakhululuka ndi kumvetsetsana kudzaonekera bwino pamene tsiku loyamba la kubwereranso, mukuuza anzanu kuti, "Ndabwererana ndi wakale wanga, koma iye ndi wakutali!"
Ngati mwaganizirapo mfundo zomwe zili pamwambazi ndipo mwaganiza kuti tsopano ndi nthawi yoti muyambenso kukumana ndi munthu wakale, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudziwa zomwe mungayembekezere.
Magawo 7 Obwerera Pamodzi Ndi Ex
Kotero, mwaganiza kuti simukungobwererana pambuyo posiyana kuti muthetse ululu, koma chifukwa chakuti mumamukonda wakale wanu ndipo mukufuna kuti mupitenso. Kodi zonse zimalowa bwanji? Kodi mungatenge bwanji pang'onopang'ono mukabwereranso ndi ex? Kodi muyenera kuyembekezera chiyani?
Matthew anatiuza kuti: “Pamene ndinali kubwererana ndi wakale wanga amene ananditaya, sindinkadziŵa ngati ndikanayenera kuyembekezera kusokonezeka kapena kukhudzika mtima kopambana, monga momwe tinkachitira poyamba.” Zimene zinatsatira zinamva kukhala zachilendo pang’ono, ndipo kwa nthaŵi yochepa kumeneko zinaoneka ngati sanali wokondweretsedwa nkomwe monga momwe ndinaliri m’chiyanjanitso pambuyo pa kusamvana,” Matthew anatiuza.
"Kubwererana pambuyo pa chisudzulo kumakhala kosiyana kwambiri m'mutu mwanu kuposa momwe zilili zenizeni. Simudziwa zomwe zikuchitika m'mutu mwa mnzanuyo. Kunena zoona, sindinkadziwa zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanga. Pambuyo pake, zinthu zinkawoneka kuti zikuyenda bwino titakhazikitsa malire ndi malangizo atsopano," akuwonjezera.
Nawa magawo 7 omwe mwina mungadutse, kuti mukhale ndi lingaliro labwino la momwe mutu uwu wa rom-com wanu umatha. Pepani kwa owononga, ndikuganiza?
1. Gawo loyamba la kubwererananso ndi wakale: osakhudzana
Mosasamala kanthu za momwe mutangotha kumene mutatha kupanga malingaliro anu ofuna kubwereranso ndi wakale wanu, nthawi zambiri palibe nthawi yolumikizana. Kusokonezeka maganizo komwe mukukumana nako sikungatheke ngati mukukumanabe ndi wakale wanu.
Ngati simuli pachibwenzi cha karmic kapena muli ndi vuto la poizoni, mwina mudzakhala kutali kwa kanthawi mutatha kusudzulana kuti muthane ndi chisokonezo chomwe chikuchitika m'mutu mwanu. Pambuyo podzifufuza pang'ono komanso kulankhulana kwambiri pafoni ndi anzanu, mungazindikire kuti mukufuna kuyanjananso.
Nthawi zambiri pamakhala nthawi yoti palibe kulumikizana komwe anthu ambiri amazindikira ngati zovuta zomwe anali nazo zitha kukonzedwa, komanso kuti akufuna kudutsa magawo obwereranso ndi wakale. Chisankho chobwererana pambuyo pa chisudzulo sichimatengedwa tsiku limodzi, nthawi zambiri pamakhala masabata angapo akukambirana (werengani: kukhumudwitsa anzanu).
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2. Kodi tingatero? Kodi tingatero? Kodi ife tiyenera?
Tsopano popeza mwaganiza zoyamba ulendo wobwererana pambuyo pa kutha, mafunso osiyanasiyana amabwera mwachangu kwa inu. Kuusa…saima basi, sichoncho?
"Kodi zidzakhala zovuta mutatha kubwererana?", "Momwe mungatengere pang'onopang'ono mukabwereranso ndi wakale?" "Kodi amakondabe Game Of Thrones kapena linali bodza?" Ndizotheka kuti muyambe kukayikira chilichonse panthawiyi ya kukhudzana koyamba, koma ndizoyenera kuyembekezera.
Ngati mubwererana ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale, zomwe zili pachiwopsezo zingakhale zokwanira kukusokonezani. Popeza munadzipereka kwambiri ndi munthuyu kwa nthawi yayitali, kukhala osamala musanagwiritse ntchito ndalamazo ndikwachilengedwe. Ngakhale mungadzitsimikizire kuti muzichita pang'onopang'ono ndi bwenzi lanu lakale kapena bwenzi lanu, sizikhala choncho nthawi zonse. Zotsatira zake, liwiro limakhala lowopsa.
Timawopa zomwe sizikudziwika, ndipo malonjezo osadziwika akamapita nthawi ina - apa, chikondi chomwe tinkaganiza kuti chidzakhala komaliza - kuyesa kuyambiranso kumayambitsa nkhawa. Pazigawo zonse zobwererana ndi wakale, iyi ikhoza kukhala yodetsa nkhawa kwambiri.
3. Kodi ndingatchulebe kuti 'mwana'?
Mukayamba kulumikizana ndipo nonse mukuyesera kupanganso ubale kuti muyesere kubwerera m'mavuto, masiku oyambirira angakhale ovuta pang'ono. Mudzakhala aulemu kwambiri chifukwa mkangano tsopano ndi chilango cha imfa ndipo simukudziwa bwino momwe mungakhalire omasuka.
Panthawiyi, mungakhale mukulakalaka kuwatcha zinthu zokongola zomwe mudachitapo kale, koma simukudziwa ngati akumva momwe mumamvera komanso momwe akumvera. Tikukulangizani kuti muyese madziwa powatumizira zithunzi zokongola za inu awiri kuchokera nthawi yomwe mudali limodzi ndikudikirira momwe angachitire kuti musalumphe mfuti ndikumaliza kunena kuti "Ndinabwereranso ndi wakale wanga koma ali kutali!"
4. Tsiku loyamba pambuyo pa kupatukana
Tsopano ikubwera nthawi yanu yoyamba yoyenera tsiku inu nonse aganiza kubwerera pamodzi. Mutha kukhala ndi mantha owopsa, monga momwe mumachitira musanayambe ntchito yatsopano, koma mwanjira ina mumakhala ndi malingaliro oseketsa kuti zonse zikhala bwino.
Mukangowona wokondedwa wanu akumwetulira, akudikirira kuti akukumbatireni, chisangalalo cha zochitika zonse chimakugundani nonse nthawi imodzi. Monga mndandanda wa déjà vu flashbacks zomwe zimakupangitsani kuzindikira chifukwa chomwe mumakonda kumverera uku, ndi munthu uyu, kwambiri. Pakadali pano, malingaliro aliwonse osakhalitsa m'mutu mwanu akuti, "Kodi ndibwererane ndi wakale wanga?" mwagonekedwa, ndipo mwakhutitsidwa kuti mwapanga chisankho choyenera.
Komabe, muyenera kusamala kuti musalole kuti ziyembekezo ndi mphuno zilamulire zomwe mumamva mukamayanjana ndi wakale. Popeza inu awiri tsopano ndinu anthu osiyana, zosintha ziyenera kusinthanso.
5. Zinthu zimamveka bwino, ndipo ndizowopsa
Magawo obwererana ndi chibwenzi chakale ndi osiyana ndi magawo okhazikika ogwera m'chikondi . Zinthu zikamamveka ngati zikuyenda bwino, mumakhala ndi chiyembekezo. Komabe, zinthu zikamayenda bwino pamene mukubwererana mutapatukana, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoopsa.
Ngakhale kuti mbali zina zingamveke bwino, zingamveke ngati mukuyenda pamiyendo mphindi imodzi ikabuka mkangano. Nonse mukuwopa kusokoneza, kotero mumapewa mikangano iliyonse yomwe ingangobweretsa malingaliro oponderezedwa ndi mabedi osiyana mtsogolo. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndi bwino kusunga zitseko zoyankhulirana.
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6. Kuphunzira zidule za malonda
Ngakhale kuti zinthu zingawoneke zovuta mutatha kubwererana, pamabwera nthawi yomwe mumavomereza kuti mphamvuyi tsopano ndi yosiyana kwambiri ndi momwe zinalili, ndipo zili bwino. Simulinso anthu amene munali pamene munalekana, ndipo ubwenzi sulinso monga momwe unalili. Mwina zimenezo n’zabwino, chifukwa sizinali bwino nthawi yapitayi!
Muphunzira, mudzasintha, muchita bwino. Mutha kusiya zonse zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera pakuchita izi mutalowa, zomwe mwina ndi zabwino kwambiri zomwe mungachite.
7. Kupezanso chikondi
Gawo lobwererana ndi munthu wakale likhoza kukhala lovuta, lodzaza ndi ziyembekezo ndi zokhumudwitsa zomwezo. Kupatula apo, mudadziwapo ndikukonda munthuyu kale, sizingatheke kusayembekezera kuti chilichonse chidzabwerera m'malo mwake monga momwe mudachisiya, popanda poizoni.
Panthawiyi, mukuzindikira kuti sizikhala momwe zimakhalira, ndipo chikondi chatsopano, chopambana chimakugwirani, kutsimikizira kufunikira kwanu kuti mubwererenso ndi wakale wanu poyamba. Lingaliro lomwe mudapanga masabata/miyezi ingapo yapitayo kuti mutumize mawu ochotsa zida, "Kodi tingalankhule?" kwa wakale wanu tsopano zikuwoneka kuti zapindula, ndipo chikondi chikhoza kukhala bwino kachiwiri.
Kubwererana pambuyo pa kutha si chinthu chophweka chomwe mungachite, mwamalingaliro. Ngati mutakwanitsa kuyendetsa bwino zomwe mukuyembekezera, zokhumba, ndi zokhumudwitsa, mudzatuluka kumapeto kwake ndi manja a wokondedwa wanu atakulungidwa.
Kumbukirani kuti palibe njira yoikika imene nonse mudzayendamo. Misewu yomwe mumakumana nayo ikhoza kukhala yonyenga kwambiri kapena yoyenda bwino, koma nthawi zambiri, yonse imatsogolera kumalo omwewo.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Ibibazo
Kunena mosapita m'mbali, ngati mukufuna kubwereranso ndi wakale wanu ndikupangitsa kuti zitheke, muyenera kuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zidayambitsa kutha. Limodzi mwa malamulo akuluakulu obwererana ndi munthu wakale ndikuwonetsetsa kuti nonse mukukhululukirana wina ndi mnzake komanso nokha pamavuto aliwonse omwe mwachitika, komanso kuti mutha kuthana ndi vuto lanu.
Mukayandikira ubale watsopano ndi kulemekezana komanso kulankhulana momasuka, zitha kugwira ntchito ngati awiri okwatirana abwererana.
Mukhoza kupeza njira zobwerereranso ndi wakale wanu kutengera momwe zinthu zilili. Ngati mukufuna kuyambitsanso ubale wanu ndi wakale wanu, yesetsani kudzisamalira, muwonetseni kuti mukufuna kubwererana naye ndipo muyembekezere yankho lake.
Njira yabwino yodziwira ngati wokondedwa wanu akufuna kubwererana ndi kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka. Mutha kutanthauziranso chilankhulo chawo, komanso kufunitsitsa kwawo kuyankhula nanu ndikuyanjanitsa. Ngati akugwira ntchito yofanana ndi yomwe muli, mwayi ndi wovuta kwambiri kuti mubwererenso.
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KUINKA SAIN EXIN AVIOMEEHENI TAKAISIN LOITSUJEN LAUTAJAN {PAPPI ADU} AVULLA JA HÄNEN JÄLLEENYTTÄMISRAKKAUDEN LOITSUNSA VOIMANA 7 PÄIVÄN SISÄLLÄ. LÄHETÄ HÄNELLE SÄHKÖPOSTIA OSOITTEESEEN ( [email protected] )