Zizindikiro 11 Zowawa Wokondedwa Wanu Akukutengerani Ubale Wanu

Ubwenzi wabwino ndi wokwanitsidwa wazikidwa pa kukhulupirirana, kulemekezana, ndi kuyamikira zimene okwatirana amachitirana. Kuti chikondi chiziyenda bwino, m'pofunika kwambiri kuti okwatirana azivomereza zoyesayesa za mnzawo. Kuona ubwenzi mopepuka, kusabwezera zomwe mnzawo wachita, kapena kuwapangitsa kudziona ngati osafunika kungawononge chigwirizanocho.

Kunyalanyaza munthu muubwenzi kungawononge kudzidalira kwake ndipo kungapangitse kuti amve kukwiya komanso kukwiyira wokondedwa wawo. Tinalankhula ndi mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi Geetarsh Kaur , yemwe anayambitsa Sukulu ya Skill yomwe imayang'anira kumanga ubale wolimba, za tanthauzo la kunyalanyaza, chifukwa chake wina amakuchitirani zinthu mopepuka, komanso zomwe mungachite ngati mnzanuyo akukuchitirani zinthu mopepuka muubwenziwo.

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Mukufuna kuonedwa ngati tanthauzo losavuta? Malinga ndi Merriam-Webster, kuonedwa ngati chinthu chosavuta kumatanthauza "kuyamikira (chinachake kapena winawake) mopepuka kwambiri kapena kulephera kuzindikira kapena kuyamikira bwino (winawake kapena chinthu chomwe chiyenera kuonedwa ngati chofunika)". Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti, "Pamene chibwenzi chimayamba, anthu amamva kutentha kwambiri komanso kusasangalala. Pali kuyamikira zinthu zazing'ono zomwe okwatirana amachitirana. Koma, pamene zikupita patsogolo, mnzawo aliyense amasiya kuyamikira kapena kuvomereza zochita zazing'ono zomwe mnzakeyo amachita.

"Izi zimachitika chifukwa zoyesayesa zimayamba kuwoneka ngati chizolowezi. Amaona ngati ndi udindo wa mnzawo kuwachitira zinthuzo. Amaona kuti ali ndi ufulu wochita zonse zomwe mnzakeyo akuchita. Izi ndi zomwe kutengera munthu mopepuka pachibwenzi kumatanthawuza. Mnzako akasiya kuyamikira zoyesayesa zomwe mumapanga kuti amve kuti mumamukonda kapena kusamalidwa, zikutanthauza kuti akutenga zinthu mopepuka," adatero.

Kunyalanyazidwa, kutanthauza, kunyalanyazidwa, kungawononge mphamvu zanu ndi aliyense. Ubwenzi umatanthauza kupatsa ndi kutenga. Mnzanu angamve ngati wanyalanyazidwa , wanyalanyazidwa komanso wosafunika pambuyo pa chikondi ndi chisamaliro chomwe amapereka kwa winayo. Kapena samva kuti akuyamikiridwa mokwanira chifukwa cha khama lomwe wachita mu mgwirizano. Kapena mnzawoyo sakuwapatsa ulemu woyenera. Kapena zochita zake sizikubwezeredwa. Dziwani kuti zonsezi ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti zinthu sizikunyalanyazidwa muubwenzi.

Nthaŵi zina, kudzimva kukhala wosafunika kungakhale chifukwa cha kusamvana. Zikatero, inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mukhoza kukambirana za nkhaniyi ndi kuthetsa. Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kuyamikira zonse zomwe mumamuchitira, koma sanathe kuzifotokoza momwe mungafunire. Komabe, nthawi zina, zingamve ngati mukuchititsidwa manyazi kapena simukuyamikiridwa chifukwa cha zomwe mukuchita. Tiyeni tikambirane zizindikiro zongotengera chibwenzi kuti chimveke bwino.

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Zizindikiro 11 Zowawa Wokondedwa Wanu Akukutengerani Ubale Wanu

Kodi nthawi zonse mumakhala ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimakunyalanyazani? Kapena mukufuna zizindikiro zoti chimakunyalanyazani patatha miyezi ingapo muli pachibwenzi? Zizindikiro zoti chibwenzi chanu sichikudziwika nthawi zambiri zimakhala zobisika, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mnzanuyo asamamvetse kapena kuzindikira. Nthawi zina, mumakonda kwambiri mnzanuyo kotero kuti nthawi zambiri mumanyalanyaza zoyipa ndikuyang'ana zabwino m'malo mwake.

Koma ngati mukudziwa kuti pali cholakwika ndi mmene mukuchitiridwa ndi munthu wanu wapadera, ndiye kuti mwina munaganizirapo chifukwa chake munthu wina amakuonani mopepuka atanena kuti amakukondani. Ndipo mmene khalidwe limeneli likukhudzirani inu ndi ubwenzi wanu. Geetarsh anati: “Amakuona kuti n’ngofunika chifukwa amaganiza kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo nthawi zonse amakhala womvetsa zinthu, wokhwima maganizo, wogwirizana ndi anthu, ndiponso kuti ali ndi chizolowezi chongolekerera.” Khalidwe loterolo limakulitsa kusakhulupirirana, limachititsa kuti pakhale kusiyana pakati pa okwatirana, ndipo limayambitsa kusamvana.”

Kuti mudziwe zomwe mungachite ngati mnzanuyo akukunyalanyazani, muyenera kudziwa zizindikiro zomwe mukutengedwera mosayenera. Kuzindikira zizindikiro kudzakuthandizani kuthana ndi vutoli. Nazi zizindikiro 11 zokuthandizani kumvetsetsa ngati mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mosasamala.

1. Sanena kuti “zikomo”

Geetarsh akuti, “Anthu otere ndi osayamika. Ngati mnzanu sakuyamikira ntchito kapena khama lomwe mukuchita muubwenzi, kaya ndi ntchito zapakhomo kapena zinthu zokongola zomwe mumachita kuti amve kuti ndi apadera, ndiye kuti akukutengani ngati chinthu chopepuka. Ngati sakuyamikira mwanjira iliyonse, chifukwa cha zinthu zazing'ono kapena zazikulu zomwe mumawachitira, dziwani khalidwe lotere.”

Chizindikiro china chowonera munthu mopepuka pachibwenzi ndikuti amasiya kuzindikira zomwe mumachita kuti musunge mgwirizano. Sadzayamikira zoyesayesa zanu kapena ngakhale kuvomereza kulolera kapena kudzimana kumene mumapereka chifukwa cha iwo. Sadzazindikira kufunika kwanu m'moyo wawo. Mutha kuzikana ngati nkhani yachibwanabwana koma ndi mbendera yofiira ngati mnzanuyo sakuyamikira zonse zomwe mumawachitira.

2. Safuna malangizo kwa inu pankhani zofunika

Ubwenzi uyenera kukhala mgwirizano wa anthu ofanana. Zisankho pa nkhani zazing'ono kapena zofunika zimakhudza onse awiri, ndichifukwa chake onse awiri ayenera kugwirizana ndikusankha zomwe akufuna kuchita. Ngati zimenezo sizikuchitika, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro choopsa cha ubale . Ngati mnzanu sakufunsani maganizo kapena upangiri wanu kapena sakuvutitsani kukufunsani musanapange chisankho chachikulu pa moyo wanu, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti akutenga zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi.

Geetarsh anati: “Ngati mnzanuyo sakuloŵererani kapena kufunsira maganizo anu posankha zochita, ngati sakambirana zinthu zatsopano kapena zoyamba m’moyo wawo, ndiye kuti sakuona kuti ndinu wofunika kwenikweni.

Iwo akunyalanyaza kupezeka kwanu ndi zomwe mukuthandizira paubwenzi. Ndi chizindikiro chakuti malingaliro anu alibe phindu. Nthawi zovuta kwambiri, amakuwonani ngati mnzanu kapena wothandizana nawo, ndichifukwa chake amanyalanyaza malingaliro anu, ziyeneretso zanu, komanso zomwe mwakumana nazo - izi ndizomwe zimatengedwa mopepuka.

3. Amafuna kwambiri ndipo amayembekezera zochuluka kuchokera kwa inu

Kubwereza, ubale ndi mgwirizano wofanana pomwe maudindo, ziyembekezo, ndi ntchito zimagawika. Koma ngati mukupeza kuti mukuchitapo kanthu, mukuchita ntchito zonse ndi kunyamula katundu wolemetsa, kupereka nsembe zazing'ono ndi zazikulu, ndipo osapezanso "zikomo" mophweka, dziwani kuti mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwamuna wanu akufuna zambiri kuchokera kwa inu ndipo akuyembekezera kuti muzisamalira chilichonse - ntchito zapakhomo, kusamalira ana, kukonzekera mausiku ocheza, kugwira ntchito yowonjezera kuti mupeze ndalama zowonjezera, kusacheza ndi anthu ena chifukwa sakonda - ndiye kuti izi ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti amakunyalanyazani . Mofananamo, ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi mkazi ndipo mukupeza kuti mukuchita zinthu zosayenera kuti ubale wanu ukhale wabwino pamene iye sakukusamalani, dziwani kuti sikoyenera kuti mugwirizane ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimakunyalanyazani.

4. Amaika patsogolo ntchito ndi anzawo kuposa inu

Ngati mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amaika patsogolo ntchito yawo kapena abwenzi kuposa inu, ndicho chizindikiro cha kutenga munthu mosasamala mu chiyanjano. Sitikunena kuti muyenera kuwapatsa gehena chifukwa chopita kokacheza ndi abwenzi awo kapena kubwera kunyumba mochedwa kuchokera kuntchito kamodzi pakanthawi. Koma ngati zikhala nkhani yachizoloŵezi mpaka kufika pamlingo wakuti kukhala ndi inu kumamverera ngati udindo kapena chipwirikiti chammbali kapena 'dzuwa latuluka kuchokera kumadzulo' mtundu wa mkhalidwe, ndiye kuti mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka.

Malinga ndi Geetarsh, “Uyenera kukhala ndi thayo kwa mnzako. Pangakhale masiku otanganidwa koma uyenera kupeza nthaŵi yocheza ndi wokondedwa wako. Ngati nthaŵi zonse amaletsa mapulani awo kapena amapitiriza kuwachedwetsa chifukwa chakuti ali otanganitsidwa kwambiri kuntchito kapena kuti akumane ndi mabwenzi, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti mnzanuyo akukuonani mopepuka.”

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5. Amadula zokambirana

Kodi mnzanu nthawi zonse amakhala wofulumira kuti amalize kukambirana? Kodi ali ndi chizoloŵezi chochepetsa kukambirana kulikonse? Ndiye, samalani chifukwa izi ndi zizindikiro zomwe amakutengerani mopepuka. Kodi msungwana wanu amachoka mukamalankhulana naye kapena amangokhalira kutulutsa foni mwachangu nthawi iliyonse mukamuimbira, ndipo samakuyimbiraninso kuti mumalize kukambirana? Chabwino, ndiye kuti mwina mukuyenera kuchita ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimakutengerani mosasamala.

Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti, “Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti zinthu sizili zofunika muubwenzi ndi chakuti anthu omwe amasonyeza khalidwe lotere nthawi zonse amakhala ofulumira kuthetsa zokambirana ndi okondedwa awo, kaya ndi maso ndi maso kapena pafoni. Izi zili choncho chifukwa mwina amaona kuti maganizo kapena nkhani zanu sizofunika, zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva ngati simukufunidwa , osamvedwa, osayamikiridwa, komanso onyozedwa.” Ngati mnzanuyo akukulemekezani inu ndi malingaliro anu, sayenera kukunyozani. Ngati muwona kachitidwe, dziwani kuti mnzanuyo akunyalanyaza ubalewo.

6. Samvera zomwe ukunena

Ubwenzi wabwino umakhudza onse awiri kumvetsera ndi kulabadira zosowa za wina ndi mzake. Kumvetserana sikumangothandiza okondedwa awo kumvetsetsa zosowa za wina ndi mzake, zokhumba zawo, ndi ziyembekezo za wina ndi mzake kuchokera mu chiyanjano komanso zimasonyeza chisamaliro ndi nkhawa. Ngati m’modzi sakumvetseranso winayo kapena sakumvetseranso chimodzimodzi monga mmene ankachitira poyamba, ndi chizindikiro chosonyeza kuti munthu sangamumvetsere pa chibwenzi.

Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti: “Tiyerekeze kuti mwakhala ndi tsiku losangalatsa kuntchito kapena muli ndi anzanu kapena paulendo wanu, mwachionekere mungafune kuuza mnzanuyo za zofananazo.

7. Amapewa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu zosonyeza kuti chibwenzi sichili chophweka. Maubwenzi onse amadutsa m'magawo pomwe chikondi sichichepa kapena kucheperachepera kwa chikondi koma ngati muyenera kupempha mnzanuyo kuti akuthandizeni, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro choopsa. Ngati mukuona kuti sakufuna kukunyengererani kapena kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wapadera , kapena ngati kuchita chilichonse kukuwoneka ngati akudzikakamiza kuchita zimenezo, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti mukunyalanyazidwa.

Paubwenzi, ndizotheka kuti m'modzi yemwe sakondana kapena kukhala wamkulu pamasewera achikondi ngati nkhunda komanso zowonetsa pagulu zachikondi. Koma ngati palibe kusonyeza chikondi nkomwe kapena ngakhale kukopana mwa apo ndi apo, ndiye kuti pakhoza kukhala vuto. Ndizotheka kuti akudziwa kuti simudzawasiya kapena kuwanyenga, chifukwa chake kunyalanyaza zosowa zanu si chinthu chachikulu kwa iwo. Ngati mwawafotokozera zakukhosi kwanu ndipo palibe zosintha kuchokera kumbali yawo, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti mumachita zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi.

8. Amanyalanyaza nkhawa zanu ndi malingaliro anu

Mbendera ina yofiyira yopezera chibwenzi mopepuka ndi pamene mnzanuyo amakutsutsani nkhawa zanu kapena ngati amakunyamulirani nthawi zonse pamene muwafotokozera zosowa zanu kapena nkhawa zanu. Ngati amakupangitsani kudziona kuti ndinu woipa kapena kuti simukulemekezani, dziwani kuti mukutengedwa mopepuka.

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Muubwenzi, okwatirana ayenera kuchirikizana ndi kusamalirana. Ayenera kukhala akukuthandizani kukhala osangalala, osapeza njira zokupangitsani kumva ngati simukukondedwa kapena kunyozedwa. Ngati sakuika patsogolo malingaliro anu kapena kunyalanyaza, dziwani kuti akukutengani ngati chinthu chopepuka ndipo nthawi yakwana yoti mudziteteze nokha komanso thanzi lanu.

9. Amapanga mapulani osakufunsani

Kodi mnzanuyo ali ndi chizolowezi chokonzekera popanda kukufunsani? Kodi amangopitirira ndikusungitsa nthawi kapena kalendala yanu popanda kukufunsani chilolezo komanso osayang'ana ngati mungakhale omasuka kucheza? Kodi amayika kufunikira kulikonse pakupezeka kwanu musanapange mapulani? Chabwino, ngati sakulemekeza chilolezo chanu kapena malonjezano ena, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti mukutengedwa mopepuka.

Ngati mnzanuyo achita zomwe akufuna, amabwera ndikupita monga momwe akufunira, kapena amasungira nthawi zonse zomwe amakumana nazo panthawi yanu yopuma, ndi chizindikiro chakuti akutenga zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi. Ngati akuyembekezera kapena amafuna kuti mugwetse malonjezano anu kuti akwaniritse ndandanda yawo ndi zosowa, koma kukana kuchita zomwezo pamene mukuwafuna, ndiye kuti simukuchitiridwa chilungamo mu ubalewu.

10. Amapeza zochuluka kuposa zomwe akupereka

Ubwenzi ndi msewu wa mbali ziwiri. Zimafunika anthu awiri kuti mupange tango. Chilankhulo chanu cha chikondi chingakhale chosiyana. Mungakhale ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zosonyezera chikondi kapena kuyamikira koma ndikofunikira kuti onse awiri azithandizana mofanana. Kupanda kutero, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za ubale wosalimba komanso chizindikiro chofiira kuti mnzanuyo akukunyalanyazani.

Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti, “Ngati m’modzi yekha ndiye achitapo kanthu ndi kuchita zonse zimene angachite kuti chibwenzicho chiyende bwino – kukonzekera tsiku la tsiku, kudyera limodzi chakudya, kupita kutchuthi, kunena kuti “Ndimakukondani”, kupereka chiyamikiro, kukonzekera modzidzimutsa – pamene winayo sakubwezera kapena kuvomereza chilichonse mwa izi, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro cha kunyalanyaza ubwenzi.”

Kodi nthawi zonse mumayamba kuchitapo kanthu kuti muyandikire mnzanu? Kodi ndinu amene mukukonzekera masiku obadwa, zikondwerero, kapena zochitika zina zapadera nthawi zonse? Kodi ndiwe nokha amene mukuchita ntchito zonse zapakhomo ndikuwongolera chilichonse pomwe mnzanu akukhala popanda chisamaliro padziko lapansi? Ngati yankho la mafunso onsewa ndi 'inde', tikupepesa kunena koma mukutengedwa mopepuka muubwenzi. Mwina mnzanuyo akuganiza kuti simudzachoka ngakhale atakuchitirani chiyani.

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11. Amangotumizirana mameseji kapena kulankhula akafuna chinachake

Ngati mnzanu aliyense ayambitsa kukambirana pokhapokha ngati akufuna chinachake, ndi chizindikiro cha ubale wosakhazikika . Ngati akuimbirani foni, akutumizirani meseji, kapena akulankhulani kuti akwaniritse zosowa zanu komanso osaganizira nthawi yanu, dziwani kuti akunyalanyaza ubalewo. Ogwirizana nawo ayenera kukhala ndi zokambirana zomveka muubwenzi. Koma ngati zokambirana zanu zangokhala zantchito zachizolowezi, ndiye kuti pali vuto.

Malinga ndi Geetarsh, "M'zaka zamasamba ochezera, ndizotheka kuti abwenzi amafotokoza zakukhosi kwawo kudzera pa Instagram kapena Facebook. Mutha kuwatumiziranso ma DM okongola.

Kutengedwa mopepuka ndi poizoni m'malingaliro ndi malingaliro anu. Zimasokonezanso ubale wanu. Geetarsh anati: “Makhalidwe oterowo angapangitse kuti usiye kukhulupirira mwamuna kapena mkazi wako.

Nthawi zina, kuonedwa ngati chinthu chopepuka kumatanthauza kuti pali kudalirana kwakukulu, kukhazikika, ndi chitonthozo pakati pa okwatirana, kotero kuti palibe ndalama zina zofunika muubwenzi. Ngakhale kuti zimenezo ndi zabwino, okwatirana sayenera kuiwala kusonyeza kuyamikira. Ngakhale "zikomo" chabe zimathandiza kwambiri. Kulemekezana , kudalirana, ndi kumvetsetsana ndi zizindikiro za ubale wabwino. Ngati mnzanu wayamba kumva kuti ndi woyenera ndipo sakusonyeza kuyamikira, dziwani kuti akuutenga ngati chinthu chopepuka.

Tsopano popeza mwadziwa chifukwa chake munthu wina amakuonani mopepuka komanso zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanu wofunika angachite zomwezo, mwina mungakhale mukuganiza zoti muchite. Geetarsh akupereka lingaliro lakuti, “Okwatirana ayenera kumvetsetsa kuti si chikondi chokhachokha, komanso ulemu ndi thayo zimene zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi chibwenzicho.” Ngati mukuona kuti mnzanuyo akuona zinthu mopepuka m’chibwenzi, njira yokhayo yothetsera vutolo ndiyo kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu ndi kuwafunsa chimene chimayambitsa khalidwe lotere.”

Pamene mnzanuyo akukutengerani mosasamala, ndipo ngati khalidwe lawo lakhala loipa kwambiri moti simungathe kuligwira, ganizirani zothetsa chibwenzicho. Palibe chifukwa chokhala muubwenzi pomwe nthawi yanu, zoyesayesa zanu, malingaliro anu, ndi malingaliro anu sayamikiridwa. Palibe amene ayenera kunyalanyazidwa, kunyozedwa, kapena kunyozedwa muubwenzi. Ngati mwakhala ndi zokwanira kuti wokondedwa wanu asayamikire zonse zomwe mumamuchitira, zisiyeni.

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