Zizindikiro 11 Zowawa Wokondedwa Wanu Akukutengerani Ubale Wanu

Ubwenzi wabwino ndi wokwanitsidwa wazikidwa pa kukhulupirirana, kulemekezana, ndi kuyamikira zimene okwatirana amachitirana. Kuti chikondi chiziyenda bwino, m'pofunika kwambiri kuti okwatirana azivomereza zoyesayesa za mnzawo. Kuona ubwenzi mopepuka, kusabwezera zomwe mnzawo wachita, kapena kuwapangitsa kudziona ngati osafunika kungawononge chigwirizanocho.

Kutenga munthu mopepuka pachibwenzi kumatha kuwononga kudzidalira kwake komanso kumapangitsa kuti azikhala ndi chidani komanso kukwiyira wokondedwa wawo. Tinayankhulana ndi mphunzitsi wachibwenzi Geetarsh Kaur, woyambitsa The Skill School yomwe imagwira ntchito yomanga maubwenzi olimba, zomwe zimatengedwa mopepuka, chifukwa chake wina amakutengerani mopepuka, komanso choti muchite ngati mnzanuyo akukutengerani mopepuka pachibwenzi.

Kodi Kutenga Munthu Mopanda Mnzake Mu Ubale Zimatanthauza Chiyani?

Mukuyang'ana kutengedwa mopanda tanthauzo? Chabwino, malinga ndi Merriam-Webster, kutengedwa mopepuka kumatanthauza "kuyamikira (chinachake kapena winawake) mopepuka kwambiri kapena kulephera kuzindikira bwino kapena kuyamikira (wina kapena chinachake chimene chiyenera kuyamikiridwa)". Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti: “Chibwenzi chikayamba, anthu amamva kukhala ofunda komanso osokonekera.

"Izi zimachitika chifukwa zoyesayesa zimayamba kuwoneka ngati chizolowezi. Amaona ngati ndi udindo wa mnzawo kuwachitira zinthuzo. Amaona kuti ali ndi ufulu wochita zonse zomwe mnzakeyo akuchita. Izi ndi zomwe kutengera munthu mopepuka pachibwenzi kumatanthawuza. Mnzako akasiya kuyamikira zoyesayesa zomwe mumapanga kuti amve kuti mumamukonda kapena kusamalidwa, zikutanthauza kuti akutenga zinthu mopepuka," adatero.

Kutengedwa mopepuka, kutanthauza, kutengeredwa mwayi, kutha kuwononga mphamvu zanu ndi aliyense. Ubale ndi wa kupereka ndi kutenga. Wokondedwa akhoza kumva kunyalanyazidwa, kunyalanyazidwa ndi kunyozedwa pambuyo pa chikondi ndi chisamaliro chimene amapereka kwa winayo. Kapena samamva kuyamikiridwa mokwanira chifukwa cha khama lomwe apanga mumgwirizanowu. Kapenanso mnzawo sakuwalemekeza. Kapena manja awo sanabwezeredwe. Dziwani kuti zonsezi ndizizindikiro zotengera zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi.

Nthaŵi zina, kudzimva kukhala wosafunika kungakhale chifukwa cha kusamvana. Zikatero, inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mukhoza kukambirana za nkhaniyi ndi kuthetsa. Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kuyamikira zonse zomwe mumamuchitira, koma sanathe kuzifotokoza momwe mungafunire. Komabe, nthawi zina, zingamve ngati mukuchititsidwa manyazi kapena simukuyamikiridwa chifukwa cha zomwe mukuchita. Tiyeni tikambirane zizindikiro zongotengera chibwenzi kuti chimveke bwino.

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Zizindikiro 11 Zowawa Wokondedwa Wanu Akukutengerani Ubale Wanu

Kodi mumangokhalira kulimbana ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimakutengerani mosasamala? Kapena kuyang'ana zizindikiro zomwe amakutengerani mopepuka mutangotha ​​miyezi ingapo mutakhala pachibwenzi? Chabwino, zizindikiro zopezera chibwenzi mosasamala nthawi zambiri zimakhala zobisika, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa wokondedwayo kuti amvetse kapena kuzizindikira. Nthawi zina zimakhala choncho misala mchikondi ndi mnzanu kuti mumakonda kunyalanyaza zoipa ndi kuganizira zabwino m'malo.

Koma ngati mukudziwa kuti pali cholakwika ndi mmene mukuchitiridwa ndi munthu wanu wapadera, ndiye kuti mwina munaganizirapo chifukwa chake munthu wina amakuonani mopepuka atanena kuti amakukondani. Ndipo mmene khalidwe limeneli likukhudzirani inu ndi ubwenzi wanu. Geetarsh anati: “Amakuona kuti n’ngofunika chifukwa amaganiza kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo nthawi zonse amakhala womvetsa zinthu, wokhwima maganizo, wogwirizana ndi anthu, ndiponso kuti ali ndi chizolowezi chongolekerera.” Khalidwe loterolo limakulitsa kusakhulupirirana, limachititsa kuti pakhale kusiyana pakati pa okwatirana, ndipo limayambitsa kusamvana.”

Kuti mudziwe zomwe mungachite ngati mnzanuyo akukunyalanyazani, muyenera kudziwa zizindikiro zomwe mukutengedwera mosayenera. Kuzindikira zizindikiro kudzakuthandizani kuthana ndi vutoli. Nazi zizindikiro 11 zokuthandizani kumvetsetsa ngati mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mosasamala.

1. Sanena kuti “zikomo”

Geetarsh anati: “Anthu oterowo sayamika.” Ngati mnzanuyo sakuvomereza zimene mukuchita kapena zimene mukuchita mu chibwenzi, kaya n’zofunika kwambiri. ntchito zapakhomo kapena zinthu zokongola zomwe mumachita kuti adzimve kukhala apadera, ndiye kuti amakutengerani mopepuka. Ngati sasonyeza kuyamikira mwanjira iriyonse, kaamba ka zinthu zazing’ono kapena zazikulu zimene mumawachitira, zindikirani mkhalidwe woterowo.”

Chizindikiro china chowonera munthu mopepuka pachibwenzi ndikuti amasiya kuzindikira zomwe mumachita kuti musunge mgwirizano. Sadzayamikira zoyesayesa zanu kapena ngakhale kuvomereza kulolera kapena kudzimana kumene mumapereka chifukwa cha iwo. Sadzazindikira kufunika kwanu m'moyo wawo. Mutha kuzikana ngati nkhani yachibwanabwana koma ndi mbendera yofiira ngati mnzanuyo sakuyamikira zonse zomwe mumawachitira.

2. Safuna malangizo kwa inu pankhani zofunika

Ubale uyenera kukhala mgwirizano wofanana. Zisankho pa nkhani zazing’ono kapena zofunika zimakhudza onse awiri, nchifukwa chake onse awiri ayenera kukumana ndi kusankha zomwe akufuna kuchita. Ngati izo sizikuchitika, ndiye ndi ubale wofiira mbendera. Ngati mnzanuyo sakufunsani maganizo anu kapena malangizo anu kapena sakuvutitsani kukambirana ndi inu musanapange chisankho chachikulu pa moyo wanu, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti akutenga zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi.

Geetarsh anati: “Ngati mnzanuyo sakuloŵererani kapena kufunsira maganizo anu posankha zochita, ngati sakambirana zinthu zatsopano kapena zoyamba m’moyo wawo, ndiye kuti sakuona kuti ndinu wofunika kwenikweni.

Iwo akunyalanyaza kupezeka kwanu ndi zomwe mukuthandizira paubwenzi. Ndi chizindikiro chakuti malingaliro anu alibe phindu. Nthawi zovuta kwambiri, amakuwonani ngati mnzanu kapena wothandizana nawo, ndichifukwa chake amanyalanyaza malingaliro anu, ziyeneretso zanu, komanso zomwe mwakumana nazo - izi ndizomwe zimatengedwa mopepuka.

3. Amafuna kwambiri ndipo amayembekezera zochuluka kuchokera kwa inu

Kubwereza, ubale ndi mgwirizano wofanana pomwe maudindo, ziyembekezo, ndi ntchito zimagawika. Koma ngati mukupeza kuti mukuchitapo kanthu, mukuchita ntchito zonse ndi kunyamula katundu wolemetsa, kupereka nsembe zazing'ono ndi zazikulu, ndipo osapezanso "zikomo" mophweka, dziwani kuti mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwamuna wanu akufuna zinthu zambiri kwa inu ndipo akuyembekezera kuti muziyendetsa chilichonse - ntchito zapakhomo, kusamalira ana, kukonzekera masiku ochezera, kugwira ntchito nthawi yowonjezereka ndi ndalama zina, osacheza ndi anthu ena chifukwa sakonda - ndiye kuti zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti amakuonani mopepuka. Mofananamo, ngati muli paubwenzi ndi mkazi ndipo mukupeza kuti mukupita kutali kuti chibwenzicho chiziyenda bwino pamene iye sakusamala za inu, dziwani kuti n’zopanda chilungamo kuti muzichita zinthu ndi mtsikana amene amakuonani mopepuka.

4. Amaika patsogolo ntchito ndi anzawo kuposa inu

Ngati mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amaika patsogolo ntchito yawo kapena abwenzi kuposa inu, ndicho chizindikiro cha kutenga munthu mosasamala mu chiyanjano. Sitikunena kuti muyenera kuwapatsa gehena chifukwa chopita kokacheza ndi abwenzi awo kapena kubwera kunyumba mochedwa kuchokera kuntchito kamodzi pakanthawi. Koma ngati zikhala nkhani yachizoloŵezi mpaka kufika pamlingo wakuti kukhala ndi inu kumamverera ngati udindo kapena chipwirikiti chammbali kapena 'dzuwa latuluka kuchokera kumadzulo' mtundu wa mkhalidwe, ndiye kuti mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka.

Malinga ndi Geetarsh, “Uyenera kukhala ndi thayo kwa mnzako. Pangakhale masiku otanganidwa koma uyenera kupeza nthaŵi yocheza ndi wokondedwa wako. Ngati nthaŵi zonse amaletsa mapulani awo kapena amapitiriza kuwachedwetsa chifukwa chakuti ali otanganitsidwa kwambiri kuntchito kapena kuti akumane ndi mabwenzi, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti mnzanuyo akukuonani mopepuka.”

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5. Amadula zokambirana

Kodi mnzanu nthawi zonse amakhala wofulumira kuti amalize kukambirana? Kodi ali ndi chizoloŵezi chochepetsa kukambirana kulikonse? Ndiye, samalani chifukwa izi ndi zizindikiro zomwe amakutengerani mopepuka. Kodi msungwana wanu amachoka mukamalankhulana naye kapena amangokhalira kutulutsa foni mwachangu nthawi iliyonse mukamuimbira, ndipo samakuyimbiraninso kuti mumalize kukambirana? Chabwino, ndiye kuti mwina mukuyenera kuchita ndi chibwenzi chomwe chimakutengerani mosasamala.

Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti: “Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kupeŵa zinthu m’chibwenzi n’chakuti anthu amene amachita zimenezi nthawi zonse amathamangira kukambitsirana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo, kaya pamaso m’pamaso kapena pa foni.” Izi zili choncho chifukwa mwina amaona kuti maganizo anu kapena nkhani zanu n’zosafunika, ndipo zimenezi zimakupangitsani inuyo kukhala wosangalala. kumva kukhala wosafunidwa, zosamveka, zonyozeka, ndi zachipongwe.” Ngati wokondedwa wanu amakukondani komanso momwe mukumvera, zisakulepheretseni Mukawona chitsanzo, dziwani kuti mnzanuyo akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka.

6. Samvera zomwe ukunena

Ubwenzi wabwino umakhudza onse awiri kumvetsera ndi kulabadira zosowa za wina ndi mzake. Kumvetserana sikumangothandiza okondedwa awo kumvetsetsa zosowa za wina ndi mzake, zokhumba zawo, ndi ziyembekezo za wina ndi mzake kuchokera mu chiyanjano komanso zimasonyeza chisamaliro ndi nkhawa. Ngati m’modzi sakumvetseranso winayo kapena sakumvetseranso chimodzimodzi monga mmene ankachitira poyamba, ndi chizindikiro chosonyeza kuti munthu sangamumvetsere pa chibwenzi.

Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti: “Tiyerekeze kuti mwakhala ndi tsiku losangalatsa kuntchito kapena muli ndi anzanu kapena paulendo wanu, mwachionekere mungafune kuuza mnzanuyo za zofananazo.

7. Amapewa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zazikulu zotengera ubale mopepuka. Maubwenzi onse amadutsa m'magawo pomwe pali chikondi chochepa kapena kuchepa kwa chibwenzi koma ngati muyenera kupempha kwa wokondedwa wanu, ndiye mbendera yofiira. Ngati mukuona ngati alibe chidwi kukukopani kapena kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu apadera, kapena ngati manja aliwonse akumva ngati akudzikakamiza kuti achite, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chakuti mukutengedwa mopepuka.

Paubwenzi, ndizotheka kuti m'modzi yemwe sakondana kapena kukhala wamkulu pamasewera achikondi ngati nkhunda komanso zowonetsa pagulu zachikondi. Koma ngati palibe kusonyeza chikondi nkomwe kapena ngakhale kukopana mwa apo ndi apo, ndiye kuti pakhoza kukhala vuto. Ndizotheka kuti akudziwa kuti simudzawasiya kapena kuwanyenga, chifukwa chake kunyalanyaza zosowa zanu si chinthu chachikulu kwa iwo. Ngati mwawafotokozera zakukhosi kwanu ndipo palibe zosintha kuchokera kumbali yawo, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti mumachita zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi.

8. Amanyalanyaza nkhawa zanu ndi malingaliro anu

Mbendera ina yofiyira yopezera chibwenzi mopepuka ndi pamene mnzanuyo amakutsutsani nkhawa zanu kapena ngati amakunyamulirani nthawi zonse pamene muwafotokozera zosowa zanu kapena nkhawa zanu. Ngati amakupangitsani kudziona kuti ndinu woipa kapena kuti simukulemekezani, dziwani kuti mukutengedwa mopepuka.

Geetarsh anati: “Kodi kukangana ndi mnzanu kaŵirikaŵiri kumasanduka nkhondo yopambana?

Pachibwenzi, anthu okwatirana amayenera kukhala kumbuyo kwa wina ndi mzake ndikusamalirana. Ayenera kukhala akuthandizira ku chisangalalo chanu, osati kupeza njira zopangira inu kumva kusakondedwa kapena kunyozedwa. Ngati sakuika patsogolo malingaliro anu kapena kukukanizani, dziwani kuti akukutengerani mopepuka komanso kuti ndi nthawi yoti mudziyimire nokha komanso moyo wanu wabwino.

9. Amapanga mapulani osakufunsani

Kodi mnzanuyo ali ndi chizolowezi chokonzekera popanda kukufunsani? Kodi amangopitirira ndikusungitsa nthawi kapena kalendala yanu popanda kukufunsani chilolezo komanso osayang'ana ngati mungakhale omasuka kucheza? Kodi amayika kufunikira kulikonse pakupezeka kwanu musanapange mapulani? Chabwino, ngati sakulemekeza chilolezo chanu kapena malonjezano ena, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti mukutengedwa mopepuka.

Ngati mnzanuyo achita zomwe akufuna, amabwera ndikupita monga momwe akufunira, kapena amasungira nthawi zonse zomwe amakumana nazo panthawi yanu yopuma, ndi chizindikiro chakuti akutenga zinthu mopepuka muubwenzi. Ngati akuyembekezera kapena amafuna kuti mugwetse malonjezano anu kuti akwaniritse ndandanda yawo ndi zosowa, koma kukana kuchita zomwezo pamene mukuwafuna, ndiye kuti simukuchitiridwa chilungamo mu ubalewu.

10. Amapeza zochuluka kuposa zomwe akupereka

Ubale ndi njira ziwiri. Zimatengera awiri ku tango. Anu chinenero chachikondi akhoza kukhala osiyana. Mutha kukhala ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zosonyezera chikondi kapena kuyamika koma ndikofunikira kuti onse awiri azipereka mofanana. Apo ayi, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za ubale wosayenera ndi mbendera yofiira yomwe mnzanuyo akukutengerani mosasamala.

Geetarsh akufotokoza kuti, “Ngati m’modzi yekha ndiye achitapo kanthu ndi kuchita zonse zimene angachite kuti chibwenzicho chiyende bwino – kukonzekera tsiku la tsiku, kudyera limodzi chakudya, kupita kutchuthi, kunena kuti “Ndimakukondani”, kupereka chiyamikiro, kukonzekera modzidzimutsa – pamene winayo sakubwezera kapena kuvomereza chilichonse mwa izi, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro cha kunyalanyaza ubwenzi.”

Kodi nthawi zonse mumayamba kuchitapo kanthu kuti muyandikire mnzanu? Kodi ndinu amene mukukonzekera masiku obadwa, zikondwerero, kapena zochitika zina zapadera nthawi zonse? Kodi ndiwe nokha amene mukuchita ntchito zonse zapakhomo ndikuwongolera chilichonse pomwe mnzanu akukhala popanda chisamaliro padziko lapansi? Ngati yankho la mafunso onsewa ndi 'inde', tikupepesa kunena koma mukutengedwa mopepuka muubwenzi. Mwina mnzanuyo akuganiza kuti simudzachoka ngakhale atakuchitirani chiyani.

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11. Amangotumizirana mameseji kapena kulankhula akafuna chinachake

Pamene wina aliyense ayambitsa kukambirana pokhapokha ngati akufuna chinachake, ndi a chizindikiro cha ubale wosayenera. Ngati akuimbirani foni, kutumizirana mameseji, kapena kulankhula nanu kuti akwaniritse chosowa chanu komanso osaganizira nthawi yanu, dziwani kuti akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka. Othandizana nawo ayenera kukhala ndi zokambirana zopindulitsa paubwenzi. Koma ngati zokambirana zanu zangokhala ntchito wamba, ndiye kuti pali vuto.

Malinga ndi Geetarsh, "M'zaka zamasamba ochezera, ndizotheka kuti abwenzi amafotokoza zakukhosi kwawo kudzera pa Instagram kapena Facebook. Mutha kuwatumiziranso ma DM okongola.

Kutengedwa mopepuka ndi poizoni m'malingaliro ndi malingaliro anu. Zimasokonezanso ubale wanu. Geetarsh anati: “Makhalidwe oterowo angapangitse kuti usiye kukhulupirira mwamuna kapena mkazi wako.

Nthawi zina, kunyalanyazidwa kumatanthauza kuti pamakhala kukhulupirirana, kukhazikika, ndi chitonthozo chambiri pakati pa zibwenzi, kotero kuti palibenso ndalama zomwe zimafunika kuti mubweze. Ngakhale kuti ichi ndi chinthu chabwino, okwatirana sayenera kuiwala kuyamikira. Ngakhale mawu osavuta akuti "zikomo" amapita kutali. Kulemekezana, kukhulupirirana, ndi kumvetsetsa ndizo zizindikiro za ubale wabwino. Ngati mnzanuyo wayamba kumva kuti ali woyenera ndipo sakuyamikira, dziwani kuti akutenga chibwenzi mopepuka.

Tsopano popeza mwadziwa chifukwa chake munthu wina amakuonani mopepuka komanso zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanu wofunika angachite zomwezo, mwina mungakhale mukuganiza zoti muchite. Geetarsh akupereka lingaliro lakuti, “Okwatirana ayenera kumvetsetsa kuti si chikondi chokhachokha, komanso ulemu ndi thayo zimene zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi chibwenzicho.” Ngati mukuona kuti mnzanuyo akuona zinthu mopepuka m’chibwenzi, njira yokhayo yothetsera vutolo ndiyo kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu ndi kuwafunsa chimene chimayambitsa khalidwe lotere.”

Pamene mnzanuyo akukutengerani mosasamala, ndipo ngati khalidwe lawo lakhala loipa kwambiri moti simungathe kuligwira, ganizirani zothetsa chibwenzicho. Palibe chifukwa chokhala muubwenzi pomwe nthawi yanu, zoyesayesa zanu, malingaliro anu, ndi malingaliro anu sayamikiridwa. Palibe amene ayenera kunyalanyazidwa, kunyozedwa, kapena kunyozedwa muubwenzi. Ngati mwakhala ndi zokwanira kuti wokondedwa wanu asayamikire zonse zomwe mumamuchitira, zisiyeni.

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