Kuyankha Mumaubwenzi - Tanthauzo, Kufunika, Ndi Njira Zochitira

Mumayankha bwanji mu ubale? Funsolo limandikumbutsa za mawu a nyimbo yotchuka ya Calvin Harris, akuti: “Kodi simukuziwona?

Chabwino, kuyankha ndikosiyana kwathunthu ndi izi. Simumayimba mlandu usiku, mwanjira ina kapena imzake. Ndipo inu ndithudi musaimbe mlandu pakusintha. Nthawi zambiri, mumasankha. Ndipo momwe mumavomerezera zosankhazo ndi kudzizindikira kokwanira kumawonetsa momwe mumayankhira pa ubale wanu. Kodi mukudabwa kuti kufunika koyankha mlandu m'banja kapena pachibwenzi ndi chiyani? Kapena mumayima pati pazambiri zoyankha paubwenzi kapena ngati zimatengera nzeru zamalingaliro kuti muzichita?

Tiyeni tiphunzire zambiri za izi mothandizidwa ndi mphunzitsi wamalingaliro abwino komanso oganiza bwino Pooja Priyamvada (wotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney). Amagwira ntchito yopereka uphungu pa nkhani zogonana kunja kwa banja, kulekana, kupatukana, chisoni, ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe. Adzakufotokozerani zambiri za momwe mungayankhire komanso zomwe mungachite ngati mnzanu akakana kuyankha. 

Kodi Kutenga Udindo Mu Ubale Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Akafunsidwa, "Kuyankha ndi chiyani muubwenzi ndipo munthu mmodzi angawonetse bwanji?",  Pooja adayankha, "Kutenga umwini kapena kuyankha kumatanthauza kuti mumagawana gawo lanu ndikuvomera udindo wopanga ubalewo kuti ukhale wogwira ntchito komanso wathanzi." Kuona mtima ndi kuyankha mu maubwenzi ndi zonse zokhudzana ndi kudzifufuza nokha m'malo mokhala wolakwa kapena wolakwa. Ulendo wodziwa momwe mungayankhire paubwenzi umayamba ndikudzifunsa mafunso angapo m'malo mochita masewera olakwa,

• Zili bwanji kwa ine?
• Ndinasewera gawo lanji?
• Kodi ndingaphunzirepo chiyani pamenepa?  

Kuvomereza kuyankha kumatanthauza kuvomereza ndi kutenga udindo wonse pazochitika zanu. Nthawi zina, tikakangana, sitivomereza zolakwa zathu, ngakhale kuti, pansi pamtima, timadziwa kuti tikhoza kukhala olakwa chifukwa cha kusowa chidziwitso chaumwini. Izi ndi zizindikiro zochepa za kusowa kuyankha mu maubwenzi.

Kuti tipambane, timaika mphamvu zathu zonse posonyeza kuti ndife olondola ndi kuloza munthu wina mlandu. Apa m’pamene tiyenera kudzifunsa kuti, “Chofunika kwambiri n’chiyani? masewera amphamvu kapena ubale womwewo?" Kupereka ego yanu chifukwa cha thanzi la ubale wanu ndi SO wanu ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zambiri za kuyankha pa maubwenzi.

Kumbukirani, kusinthika kwa kuyankha mlandu motsutsana ndi mlandu mu maubwenzi kumakhudza kwambiri thanzi lawo lonse ndi kukhazikika kwawo. Mu maubwenzi abwino, kuyankha mlandu kumaphatikizapo kutenga udindo pa gawo lanu muzochitika, pamene kulakwa kumangoyang'ana kuloza zala ndi kupereka zolakwa, zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano yambiri.

Tsopano, tiyeni titenge nthawi kuti tilingalire pa izi. Kodi ndinu mnzanu amene simungathe kuyankha mlandu? Kodi ndinu munthu amene mumangoganizira za momwe mungapangire munthu kuti aziyankha pa chibwenzi? Kodi khalidweli likukhudza ubale wanu, mpaka kufika pachiwopsezo? Pooja akuti: "Zowopsa kwambiri ndizodutsa malire a bwenzi, kupitilira chilolezo chawo komanso kudziyimira pawokha. Ngati wina wa zibwenzi akumva kuchepetsedwa kapena kukhumudwa mu ubale uliwonse, onse awiri ayenera kuganizira zomwe zidayambitsa." 

Kodi Kuyankha Ndi Kofunika Motani Mu Ubale?

Tsopano popeza tamvetsetsa kuti kuyankha kumatanthauza chiyani, tiyeni tiyese kudziwa kufunikira kwa kuwonetsa kuyankha muubwenzi komanso chifukwa chake. Kuti timvetse kufunikira kwake, tiyeni tifananize ndi lingaliro la kuyankha kwa Mulungu (zilibe zikhulupiliro zanu zachipembedzo, timvereni). Malinga ndi kafukufuku, anthu amene anadziŵerengera mlandu kwa Mulungu anapeza chimwemwe chowonjezereka ndi moyo wabwino m’miyoyo yawo.

Kupatula apo, mfundo yonse yoyankhira mlandu ndikudzidziwitsa tokha kuti zochita zathu zimakhala ndi zotsatirapo komanso kuti masewera olakwa sangawathetse. Choncho, kuvomereza udindo wa zimenezo n'kofunika. Izi ndi zomwe kufunikira kwa kuyankha bwino mu maubwenzi kumayambiranso. Ikhoza kufotokozedwa mwachidule motere: 

• Zimapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuwonedwa, kumva, ndi kukhala wofunika
• Wokondedwa wanu sakuganiza choncho ubale ndi mbali imodzi ndipo ndi iye yekha amene amagwira ntchito yonse
• Zimakupangitsani kukhala wachifundo, wachifundo, komanso wopatsa munthu. Mumaphunzira kulowa mu nsapato za ena
• Zimakupangitsani kukhala munthu wodziwa nokha pamene mukupitiriza kupeza njira zomwe mungakulire
• Zimawonjezera kudalira, kukhulupirika, kumasuka, kusatetezeka, ndi kudalirika

Kodi Kupanda Kuyankha Muubwenzi Kumawononga Bwanji?

Pooja amagawana nkhani yochititsa chidwi pazizindikiro za kusowa koyankha pa maubwenzi okondana. Mwamuna wa mtolankhani wa kasitomala (amene anali ndi ntchito yambiri yoyendayenda) sankamudziwitsa kumene ali.” Nthawi zambiri ankamuuza kuti zimenezi zinkamudetsa nkhawa koma iye sanamvere. 

"Anayamba kuganiza kuti ali ndi chibwenzi. Anayamba kufunafuna njira zozembera foni yake ndi zipangizo zake ndipo izi zinayambitsa mikangano yambiri yosafunikira m'banja. Nkhawa yake yoyamba inali yokhudza chitetezo chake koma zinaphulika mosiyana kwambiri," akutero.

Anthu akamayankha mlandu pazochita zawo paubwenzi, zimakhazikitsa maziko okhulupirirana ndi udindo womwe umathandizira ku thanzi lawo lonse ndi bata. Chifukwa chake, ngati muwona zizindikiro za kusokonekera kwa kuyankha pa maubwenzi okondana, ndi bwino kuzigwira ntchito zisanayambe kuvulaza ndi kuwulula zinthu mopanda malire. Monga zikuwonekera kuchokera ku chitsanzo chapamwambachi, zizindikiro za kusowa kwa udindo mu maubwenzi zimayambitsa:

• Kusazindikira, kukana, kupatuka, kudzudzula masewera, ndi zifukwa (zikakhala zolakwika)
• Kulephera kunyengerera pa kusagwirizana
• Khalidwe lodzikonda ndi kusunthitsa mlandu
• Mikangano yowonjezereka, kupsa mtima, ndi mkwiyo
• Kupanda uchikulire, kusintha, kukoma mtima, ndi ulemu

Momwe Mungapangire Kuyankha Muubwenzi - Malangizo 15

Tsopano pakubwera funso la madola milioni: momwe mungayankhire muubwenzi? Mofanana ndi china chilichonse chokhudza maunansi a anthu, palibe yankho lofanana ndi limeneli. Kuyankha kungatanthauze zinthu zosiyanasiyana kwa maanja osiyanasiyana. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti bola ngati pali lingaliro la udindo kwa okondedwa ndi thanzi la ubale wanu, munganene kuti muli ndi udindo mu ubale wanu. 

Pali chidwi kafukufuku zomwe zikuwonetsa momwe makalendala ogawana ali njira yochitira kuyankha mu ubale wapamtima. Malinga ndi pepalali, kuchuluka kwa kuyankha paubwenzi ndikuyankhidwa kwa okondedwa anu (pamayendedwe anu am'mbuyomu, apano, ndi amtsogolo). Tiyeni tiwone momwe izi zimamasulira kukhala zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku ndi malangizo awa amomwe mungasonyezere kuti ndinu oyankha.

1. Yambani pang'ono

Pofotokoza za kufunika koyambira pang'ono, Pooja akuti, "Uyenera kuzindikira kuti ubale wanu ndi wofunikira kwa inu, mwina yambani nawo. manja ang'onoang'ono achikondi. Pepani chifukwa cha zinthu zazing'ono kuti mukhazikitse kukhulupirika ndi kuyankha pamaubwenzi. Dzikumbutseni kuti wokondedwa wanu ndi wofunika kwa inu komanso momwe amamvera. Khalani oona mtima pa zolakwa zanu. Ngati simungathe kuyankhula mwachindunji, zilembeni ndikugawana ndi mnzanuyo. Mwachitsanzo, “Pepani kuti lero sindinathe kunyamula chiweto chathu kokayenda. Zikomo pomuyenda. Ndine woyamikira.”

2. Ikani malamulo omveka bwino ndi malire

“Malamulo omveka bwino ndi malire amalingaliro ziyenera kukhazikitsidwa kuti aliyense aziyankha yekha ndipo pamodzi mutha kumanga ubale wabwino. Izi ziyenera kuchitika pamene onse ali odekha komanso okhazikika. Kukalipirana ndi kukalipirana mwaukali sikuthetsa kalikonse,” akutero Pooja. 

Mukalephera kudziimba mlandu, munganene zinthu monga, “N’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zonse ndimalakwitsa? Kuti muyambe kusintha, yesani njira yoyanjanitsa ndi kunena kuti, “Kodi mungafotokoze zomwe zochita zanga zikukuvutitsani?”

3. Yesetsani kuyankha pa maubwenzi tsiku ndi tsiku

Pooja akulangiza kuti, “Kuyankha mlandu kumakhala chizolowezi mukamaona kuti chibwenzicho n’chofunika kwambiri moti tsiku ndi tsiku, yesetsani kuonetsetsa kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo muli pa tsamba limodzi pa nkhani ya zochitika komanso zinthu zofunika kwambiri. nthawi yabwino Amagwiritsidwa ntchito kuti athandize kulankhulana kumeneku, komwe sikungoganizira za mmene munthu angayankhire mlandu pa chibwenzi komanso kumayang’ana mumtima.”

Chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za kuyankha mlandu mu maubwenzi chikhoza kukhala, "Pepani kuti sindinapereke nthawi yokwanira pa ubalewu. Ndikuvomereza ndipo ndiyesetsa kuyesetsa kupeza nthawi." Pezani nthawi tsiku lililonse kuti mukhale ndi makambitsirano atanthauzo, mosasamala kanthu kuti ndinu otanganidwa bwanji. Konzani nthawi yeniyeni mu kalendala yanu. Kukhala pamenepo ndi wina ndi mzake popanda zododometsa ndizo zonse zofunika.

4. Simufunikanso kusintha umunthu wanu

Pooja moyenerera ananena kuti: “Aliyense ayenera kuvomereza kuti zizoloŵezi zina zoipa n’zoyenera kusintha.” Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzanuyo akufuna kuti musasute, mwina ndi bwino kuyesa kusiya kapena kuchepetsako pang’ono. Posasintha umunthu wanu wamkati, mumawonetsa kuyankha muubwenzi m'njira yowona. 

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5. Funsani mnzanuyo pamene ayima ndi zomwe akufuna

Kuti mukhale oyankhana wina ndi mnzake, muyenera kukhala mu kulunzanitsa ndikumvetsetsa zomwe winayo akufuna kuchokera pachibwenzi. Kuti muchite izi, mutha kufunsa mafunso monga:

• Mukuganiza kuti tili pati mu ubale wathu? 
• Malinga ndi inu, ndi chiyani chomwe chikusoweka muubwenzi wathu?
• Kodi ndingasinthirepo kapena kusintha chiyani?
• N’chiyani chimakupangitsani kumva kuti mumakondedwa?
• Ndinu chani osalolera kunyengerera?
• Kodi tingatani kuti moyo wa wina ndi mnzake ukhale wosavuta?

6. Khalani womvetsera wabwino ndipo musapereke mayankho

Njira imodzi yosonyezera kuyankha mlandu m’banja kapena pachibwenzi ndiyo kumvetsera mwachidwi, moleza mtima ndi mwachifundo. Ngati wokondedwa wanu akukumana ndi zovuta, safuna womusamalira kapena wothetsa mavuto. Zomwe amafunikira ndi munthu amene angakhalepo kwa iwo, kumvetsera moleza mtima mosalowerera ndale, momasuka, mopanda kuweruza, ndi mwatcheru. Kukhala pamenepo kwa wina kumamveka kophweka, koma kunena zoona, ndizovuta kwambiri kuposa izo.

7. Kumbukirani nkhani zawo zomwe sizinathe

Posonyeza kuyankha kwabwino mu maubwenzi, ndikofunikira kukhala osamala ndi zovuta zapaubwana za wina ndi mikangano ingapo yomwe ili m'malingaliro awo. Ngati wokondedwa wanu wakumanapo kapena wawonapo malingaliro, malingaliro, kapena chiwerewere pamene akukula, mukhoza kuwalimbikitsa kuti alowe m'gulu la anzanu, lomwe lingakhale ngati malo awo otetezeka komanso odalirika kuti athe kuthana ndi zowawa zawo. Ichi ndi chizindikiro cha ubale wabwino.

Nthawi zina, amatha kumverera kuti akuyambitsa chifukwa cha katundu wawo wamalingaliro ndikuwonetsa zovuta zawo pa inu. Koma kuti mudziwe momwe mungayankhire muubwenzi, muyenera kudzikumbutsa kuti musadzitengere nokha. Zilibe chochita ndi inu ndi chirichonse chochita ndi kusatetezeka kwawo ndi ubale wawo ndi iwo eni.

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8. Khalani wokonzeka kudzudzulidwa

Imodzi mwa njira zofunika kwambiri zosonyezera kuyankha ndi kukhala wokhoza kuphatikizira chidzudzulo cholimbikitsa. Chifukwa chake, ngati wokondedwa wanu akuuzani kuti mutha kuyesetsa kukhala odziletsa pa moyo wanu waumwini komanso wantchito, musadziteteze, kubisala, kapena kuwonetsa. kusowa ulemu. M’malo momvera mawu awo, yang’anani ngati mwayi woti muwongolere. Kusamasuka kutsutsidwa ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusowa choyankha mu maubwenzi. 

9. Sungani malonjezano 

Kusunga malonjezo anu mofanana ndi kusonyeza mnzanuyo kuti akhoza kudalira inu, monga nyimbo yomwe mumakonda yomwe siyimakukhumudwitsani. Kukhala wodalirika kumakulitsa chidaliro, ndipo kukhulupirirana kuli ngati guluu umene umagwirizanitsa ubale wanu, kuupangitsa kukhala wolimba ndi wosangalala. Choncho, pamene mukunena kuti mudzachita chinachake, perekani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti chichitike!

10. Kulowa pafupipafupi

Ganizirani za cheke ngati kukonza njinga kuti iziyenda bwino. Kukambirana pafupipafupi sikungothandiza onjezerani kulankhulana muubwenzi wanu komanso konzani tinthu tating'onoting'ono tisanakhale vuto lalikulu, monga kuzizira chimfine chisanakule. Zili ngati kucheza kwaubwenzi komwe kumapangitsa kuti sitimayi ikhale panjira yoyenera.

11. Khalani wothandiza

Kuyankha mlandu mu ubale wanu kumaphatikizapo kupereka maganizo thandizo pamene wokondedwa wanu akukumana ndi zovuta zilizonse. Pokhala gwero lawo lodalirika lamphamvu, mumakulitsa chidaliro, ndipo kudalira uku kumakulitsa kulumikizana kwanu. Chifukwa chake, munthawi yamavuto, khalani ochirikiza omwe amalimbitsa ubale wanu.

12. Funsani mayankho

ngakhale kafukufuku sonyezani kuti ngati ndemanga zaperekedwa mwaulemu ndi zolinga zabwino, zingalimbikitse munthu kuwongolera. Kufunafuna mayankho kuli ngati kufunsa mayendedwe opita ku ubale wabwino. Mukasonyeza chidwi chenicheni pa zimene mungachite kuti muwongolere, zili ngati kuuza mnzanuyo kuti, “Ndikufuna kuti ndikusangalatseni.” Zili ngati kuwonjezera mitundu yambiri pazithunzi zanu zachikondi, ndikupanga ukadaulo wachisangalalo limodzi.

13. Pewani chitetezo 

Wokondedwa wanu akakuwuzani zomwe zikumudetsa nkhawa, pewani kufuna kumanga makoma. Kumvetsetsa kusiyana pakati pa kuyankha ndi mlandu m'maubwenzi kungapangitse kuthetsa kusamvana kogwira mtima komanso kulumikizana mwamphamvu. M'malo mwake, yesani kulowa mu nsapato zawo ndikuwona zinthu momwe iwo amazionera. Zili ngati kutsegula chitseko cha mayankho olimbikitsa, kuthandiza kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba pothana ndi mavuto pamodzi, monga awiriwa amphamvu.

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14. Kuthetsa mavuto pamodzi

Kodi kuyankha ndi chiyani muubwenzi ngati si njira yolimbitsira ubale wanu ndi kumanga ubale wabwino? Chifukwa chake mavuto akabuka, athane nawo ngati gulu. Zili ngati nonse mukuyika mitu yanu pamodzi kuti muphwanye chododometsa. Kuthetsa mavuto mbali ndi mbali zimalimbitsa mgwirizano wanu, kupanga ubale wanu kukhala gulu lothandizira ndi kumvetsetsa.

15. Pepani moona mtima 

Pamene mwapweteka, kunena kuti pepani moona mtima kuli ngati kukonza chidutswa chosweka mosamala. Kusonyeza chisoni chanu, kuzindikira zopweteka, ndi kufuna moona mtima kukonza zinthu kuli ngati kupaka mafuta ochiritsa paubwenzi wanu. Ndi luso lomanganso chikhulupiriro, chimodzi kupepesa kochokera pansi pa mtima pa nthawi. Kulankhulana kogwira mtima ndiye gwero lalikulu lothandizira kuti ubale wabwino ukhale wabwino wokhazikika paubwenzi, kukhulupirirana, ndi kumvetsetsana. 

Ndikofunikira kuti maanja akambirane za kuyankha mlandu ndi kulakwa mu maubwenzi momasuka komanso moona mtima kuti athe kukhulupilirana ndi kusunga maubwenzi abwino. Kutsogolo, tiyeni titsirize ndi mawu a Crystal Renaud akuti: “Monga mmene kuulula kumatanthauza kulankhula za njovu m’chipinda, kuyankha mlandu ndiko kulola munthu wina kukuthandizani kulimbana ndi njovu.” Kumbukirani, nkhondoyi siingapambane posewera masewera odzudzulana wina ndi mnzake koma kudzera muzowona ndi kuwona mtima. 

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