Kodi Ubale Wa Monogamous Ndi Woyenera Kwa Inu? Mafunso 11 Okuthandizani Kuti Mudziwe

Zambiri zalembedwa mochedwa ponena za kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndi mwamuna mmodzi. Chofunikira chachikulu ndi ichi: Chifukwa chakuti kukhala ndi mwamuna m’modzi kwakhala kozoloŵereka, sizikutanthauza kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yovomerezeka kupita m’tsogolo. Ndipo pamene kuli kwakuti pangakhale zifukwa zamagulu, zamalamulo, ndipo ngakhale zandalama zokakamira kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, pali njira zina zokhalira pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina (kapena anthu). 

Tanthauzo la ubale wa m'modzi ndi mgwirizano ndi munthu mmodzi nthawi imodzi. Koma kodi kumatanthauza chiyani kukhala wokha muubwenzi kapena kukhala ndi chikondi cha akazi ambiri? Tiyeni tipeze malingaliro ochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa CBT, REBT, ndi uphungu wa mabanja.

Iye anati: “Ubwenzi wa mwamuna mmodzi ukhoza kukhala wachisembwere kapena wachikondi, koma nthawi zambiri umakhala ndi zonse ziwiri. Malamulo a ubale wokhawokha (kapena malamulo a ubale wa mwamuna mmodzi) amanena kuti okwatiranawo azigwirizana basi osati wina aliyense. Kutenga nawo mbali ndi bwenzi limodzi kumakhalabe nthawi yonse yaubwenzi.

Kodi Monogamy Kapena Ubale Wamtundu Umodzi Ndi Chiyani?

Izi sizinali choncho nthawi zonse, koma ukwati tsopano wamangidwa pa mfundo za ubale wachikhalidwe wa mkazi mmodzi ndi kukhulupirika pa kugonana kwa mnzawo m'modzi yekha. Mwachidule, izi zikutanthauza kuti ubale wa mkazi mmodzi umadalira malamulo a ubale wapadera. Koma kodi kukhala wokha muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani? Munthu wokhala ndi mkazi mmodzi amakhala wokhulupirika kwa munthu m'modzi yekha. Kukhulupirika muubwenzi kumatanthauza kuti palibe chibwenzi kapena kugonana ndi wina aliyense. Anthu okhala ndi mkazi mmodzi amalandiranso maubwino ambiri mwalamulo kuposa anthu okhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, kotero sizokhudza kukhulupirika kokha.

Komabe, anthu ambiri amavutika kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu m’modzi yekha, zomwe zimachititsa kuti pakhale kulekana, kulekana, ndi kusudzulana. Zimenezi sizikutanthauza kwenikweni kuti anthu ameneŵa sakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, ngakhale atakhala m’mabanja ambiri. Munthu akakhala ndi okwatirana angapo m’moyo wonse, koma m’modzi yekha panthaŵi imodzi, amatchedwa serial monogamy, ndipo munthuyo amakhala wosakwatiwa. 

Kodi chimachitika n'chiyani ngati simuli mkazi mmodzi? 

Mavuto m'banja angachitike ngati mnzawo m'modzi wagwa m'chikondi ndi munthu wachitatu. Koma kodi mungakonde anthu awiri? Funsoli liyenera kuganiziridwa popanda zotsatirapo zilizonse za makhalidwe abwino. Anthu ambiri okwatirana amakondana kunja kwa ukwati wawo pamene akukondanabe ndi okondedwa awo. Zingakhale za platonic koma zingakhalenso zakuthupi. Ngati izi zichitika ndi chilolezo cha onse awiri, ndiye kuti ubwenzi umakhala wa polyamorous , womwe munthu m'modzi amakhala paubwenzi ndi anthu oposa m'modzi.

Inde, n’zotheka kukhala m’chikondi ndi mabwenzi angapo nthawi imodzi. Mitala, kumbali ina, ndi pamene mungathe kukwatira anthu oposa mmodzi. Mkangano wonse wokhudza mwamuna ndi mkazi mmodzi ndi mitala uli ndi mikangano makamaka chifukwa chakuti dongosolo lonse laukwati limakhazikika pa mfundo zaukwati ndi zomwe amati ndi makhalidwe abwino. 

Kodi kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha kumagwira ntchito kwa nthawi yayitali? Kafukufuku wosiyanasiyana wasonyeza kuti ngakhale kuti kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha n'kofala m'zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana chifukwa cha malamulo ndi chikhalidwe, ndi zachilendo m'dziko la nyama. Pakati pa nyama zoyamwitsa, pafupifupi 5% ya zamoyo zimakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha. Gulu lina la anthu likunena kuti anthu sayenera kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha. Ochirikiza nthawi zambiri amanena za kafukufuku wa nyama zomwe zimasonyeza kuti nyama zina zambiri zoyamwitsa sizimakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi yekha.

Koma zoona zake n’zakuti kwa zaka 1,000 zapitazi, anthu akhala akukhala ndi mkazi m’modzi yekha malinga ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso malamulo. Kodi amuna angakhale ndi mkazi mmodzi? — Anthu ena amafunsa. Chowonadi chokhudza kukhala ndi mkazi m'modzi komanso kukhala ndi ubale wautali ndi munthu m'modzi yekha, mosasamala kanthu za jenda, ndikuti pamafunika khama komanso kudzipereka. Koma kukhala mu dongosolo la polyamorous kumafunanso kuyesetsa kofanana. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Masamba 12 Abwino Kwambiri Opezera Chibwenzi a Polyamorous mu 2022

Kusiyana Kwakukulu Pakati pa Monogamy Ndi Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)

Kodi ubale wa ENM ndi chiyani? Pachiyambi, tiyeni tifotokoze momveka bwino kuti tikamanena za maubwenzi osakhala a mkazi mmodzi, timakambirana za chikhalidwe chopanda mkazi mmodzi. Sitikunena za chinyengo. Kuchita chinyengo kumaphatikizapo kuswa mapangano muubwenzi wanu, pamene khalidwe losakhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndilogwirizana.

Kugonana ndi munthu mmodzi kumatanthauza kukhala ndi anthu awiri okha. Komano, kusakhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi, ndi mawu omwe amaphatikizapo maubwenzi osiyanasiyana omwe si achikhalidwe omwe amakhala ndi anthu awiri kapena angapo nthawi imodzi. Nandita akuti, "Mu kugonana ndi munthu mmodzi, munthu ali ndi chilolezo chokwanira cha mnzake kuti achite chibwenzi chogonana kapena chachikondi kunja kwa ubale wawo ndi munthu mmodzi kapena angapo. Kugonana ndi anthu ambiri kumafanana ndi kugonana ndi munthu mmodzi koma kumakhala ndi mitundu ingapo ya maubwenzi.

"Pa polyamory, nayenso, chilolezo cha mnzanu chimafunika, ndipo munthuyo akhoza kukhala ndi ubale ndi anthu oposa mmodzi." Ngakhale munthu mmodzi ali ndi mkazi mmodzi muubwenzi ndipo winayo ali ndi polyamorous (ubwenzi wa poly-monogamous), kusankha kukhala ndi chiyanjano chopanda padera kapena maubwenzi angapo ndizogwirizana kwathunthu.

Pomaliza, mu ubale wa ENM, mwina kapena onse awiri akhoza kuchita nawo chiyanjano chakunja - koma ndi kumasuka kwathunthu, kuwona mtima, chikondi, ulemu, ndi kukambirana mozungulira malire. 

MONOGAMY	MAFUNSO OSAKHALA MONOGAMY
Malamulo a ubale wa mwamuna mmodzi amanena kuti maubwenzi apakati pa onse awiri ndi okha; Kudzipatula kutanthauza kuti ubale umakhala ndi munthu m'modzi yekha	Ubale wapakati pa onse awiri ndi wosakhazikika. Abwenzi a Polyamorous amakambirana za mtundu wa maulumikizi omwe akufuna kutsata
Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake sangalole kuti aliyense akhale paubwenzi ndi munthu wina	Anthu amtundu wa polyamorous amatha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu okwatirana okha komanso a polyamorous
Anthu ambiri okhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi amakonda kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu okwatirana okha, koma ena amatha kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi anthu a polyamorous	Ubale ndi munthu wachitatu sichimaganiziridwa kukhala kusakhulupirika kapena kubera chifukwa ndizogwirizana. Anthu a polyamorous amakhalanso okhulupirika kwa okondedwa awo
Okwatirana okhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi amakhala okhulupirika kwa wina ndi mzake - Kukhulupirika mu ubale kumatanthauza kuti sipadzakhala ayi chinyengo kapena kusakhulupirika	Zimamveka kuti munthu akhoza kufufuza chisangalalo chake momwe amachionera, komanso momwe zilili bwino kwa aliyense amene akukhudzidwa
Amayembekezeka kupeza chisangalalo chachikondi kapena kugonana kuchokera kwa munthu mmodzi

Monogamous vs. Polyamorous - Mafunso 11 Okuthandizani Kuti Mudziwe 

Lingaliro la ubale wa mkazi mmodzi lakhala likugwiritsidwa ntchito mwa ife kuyambira ubwana wathu. Mwachizoloŵezi, zonse zomwe tinawona ndi zomwe tinakumana nazo - mabanja athu, madera athu, zotsatsa, ndi mapulogalamu a pa TV - zonse zimasonyeza maziko a moyo wa banja monga banja lokondana ndi mwamuna mmodzi muubwenzi wodzipereka komanso wokhawokha. Lingaliro lonse la chimwemwe, kukhazikika, ndi chikhutiro linazikidwa pa lingaliro la unansi wodzipereka kwa nthaŵi yaitali ndi munthu mmodzimodziyo. Malonjezo aukwati ndi malamulo a chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe angatanthauze maubwenzi a nthawi yaitali ndi mawu monga "ameneyo" ndi "mpaka imfa idzatilekanitse."

Pa nthawi ya chibwenzi kapena ukwati, banja lokhala ndi mkazi mmodzi limalonjeza kukhulupirika mpaka kumapeto. Ngati mnzawo wina agona ndi munthu wina, kudalirana kumasweka ndipo nthawi zambiri kumathetsa kapena kuwononga kwambiri ubalewo. Iyi ndi njira yodziwika bwino yolankhulirana ndi mkazi mmodzi. Koma pakhala kuchepa kwa ubale pakati pa ukwati kapena momwe umatanthauzidwira. Lingaliro la ukwati ngati mgwirizano wa moyo wonse ndi mnzawo mmodzi likusintha pang'onopang'ono. Pali lingaliro lokulirakulira lakuti munthu si nyama yokhala ndi mkazi mmodzi ndipo kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi si mkhalidwe wachilengedwe wa zinthu.

Ndiye kodi amuna angakhale ndi mkazi mmodzi? Kodi akazi ndi omasuka kwambiri kwa osakhala m'banja limodzi? Tikufunsa Nandita. Iye anati: “Anthu ndi ochita kusanduka kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi ndipo asintha kwambiri moti tingakhale omasuka kukhala paubwenzi wa mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi kapena osakhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi. 

Polyamory imatengedwa molakwika kuti ndi gawo la chikhalidwe chakumadzulo. Chidwi cha kalembedwe kaubwenzi kameneka chikukula paliponse. Nayi mwachidule tisanafike ku funso lofunika lomwe likubwera: Polyamory imakhudza kukhala ndi ubale wodzipereka kapena womasuka ndi anthu opitilira m'modzi, mwachitsanzo kukhala ndi zibwenzi zingapo zogonana komanso/kapena zogonana nazo nthawi imodzi. Ethical non-monogamy ndi gawo limodzi chabe la polyamory. Komanso, ubale wa polyamorous ukhoza kukhala pakati pa anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro ofanana kapena osiyana. Ndiye mumaona bwanji ngati kukhala ndi mkazi m'modzi ndikoyenera kwa inu?

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kuvomerezana Ndi Chiyani Pachibwenzi?

Kodi ndingadziwe bwanji ngati ndikufuna kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi?

Nawa mafunso 11 omwe mungadzifunse omwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa psychology yaubwenzi wokhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi, ndikufanizira ndi psychology yaubwenzi wa polyamorous:

1. Kodi mukufuna kuyambitsa banja?

• Mutha kulembetsa kumalingaliro achikhalidwe kuti ngati mukufuna ana, muyenera kukhala paubwenzi wodzipereka kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi (ngakhale ukwati)
• Kapena mungafune kutsutsa chikhulupiriro chozama ichi ndikuyembekezera nyumba yokhala ndi okondedwa oposa mmodzi (ndi kholo kwa mwana wanu). Kwa inu, amenewo angakhale malo abwino oyambira banja 

2. Kodi mukufuna kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri m'moyo wanu?

• Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti mwina kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi si kwa inu, ndipo mungafunike kulemekeza chosowa chanu kucheza ndi anthu angapo
• Kapena kodi mumakhutitsidwa ndi lingaliro la bwenzi lokhala limodzi? Lingaliro la maubwenzi angapo okondana silingakhale chinthu chomwe mukuyembekezera, kupanga kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi kukhala njira yodziwikiratu kwa inu

3. Kodi mumadziona ngati munthu wansanje?

• Ngati mukuchita nsanje pamene mnzanu amathera nthawi ndi anthu ena, ndipo ngati ndicho chifukwa chachikulu chofunira kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi, ndiye kuti kudzipatula kungakhale chisankho chanzeru kwa inu.
• Anthu a polyamorous amathanso kukhala ndi nsanje. Koma amakulitsa luso lolankhula momasuka za malingaliro osagwirizana, kudzifufuza, ndikupempha chilimbikitso ngati kuli kofunika.

4. Kodi ndinu otopa kapena simukukhutitsidwa ndi ubale wanu womwe ulipo?

• Mwachibadwa kunyong’onyeka kapena osakhutira pakugonana m'banja kapena kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi nthawi zina, koma zimenezo sizikutanthauza kuti kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi si kwa inu. Pali njira zochepetsera kunyong'onyeka ndikuwonjezera kukhutira pakugonana. M'malo mwake, zimalimbikitsidwa kuti musalowe muubwenzi wa polyamorous ngati mukuyang'ana njira yapamtima.
• Ngati muli otsimikiza za chikondi chanu kwa wokondedwa wanu ndipo mukukhutitsidwa pogonana, koma mukufunabe kufufuza zachikondi kapena zogonana kuposa ubale wanu, ndiye kuti mungafunike kukayikira ngati kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi ndi chisankho choyenera kwa inu.

5. Kodi muli bwino pogawana nthawi ndi chidwi cha wokondedwa wanu?

• Ngati mumakonda kugonana kokha ndipo mukufuna kukhala patsogolo ndi wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse (kapena nthawi zambiri), zimasonyeza kuti kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndiye chisankho choyenera kwa inu. Anthu omwe ali paubwenzi wokhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi (monga lamulo) sakhala omasuka ku lingaliro la kugawana chidwi ndi wokondedwa wawo, mwachikondi kapena pogonana. 
• Kugwirizana kwa polyamory kumatanthawuza kuti simuli bwino pogawana nthawi yanu, mtima wanu, ndi moyo wanu ndi munthu wina ndipo musalole kuti mnzanuyo achite chimodzimodzi. Mwinanso mungakonde kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi polyamorous

6. Kodi muyenera kutsatira miyambo ya anthu?

• Mokakamizika kukhala ndi mwamuna m'modzi ndiye chizolowezi m'dera lathu, ndipo ngati ndinu mtundu womwe uda nkhawa ndi zomwe anthu amaganiza, ndiye kuti kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi kungakhale chinthu chanu.
• Ngati simunakhalepo wosamalira malamulo a anthu ndipo simunakhalepo wogwirizana, ndiye kuti kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi sikwanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubale Wopanda Ma Labels: Kodi Ubale Wopanda Ma Labels Umagwira Ntchito?

7. Kodi mumakonda kukhala pachibwenzi mwachisawawa kusiyana ndi pangano lokhalitsa? 

• Ngati mukufuna kudzipatula komanso mumakonda kupanga maubwenzi amphamvu ndi anthu, ndiye kuti kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi kungakhale njira yosavuta kwa inu. Chisankho chachikhalidwe ichi cha anthu okwatirana chimatha kugwirizana ndi ambiri omwe amakonda kuyika nthawi ndi malingaliro awo mwa munthu m'modzi yekha
• Anthu a polyamorous amapanganso maubwenzi amphamvu, apamtima, komanso odzipereka. Komabe, pali ambiri m’dera limene angakonde maubwenzi wamba ndipo musagwirizane ndi mkazi mmodzi. Ngati ndi choncho ndi inu, ndiye kuti muyenera kufufuza polyamory poyamba

8. Kodi ndinu omasuka ndi kudzipatula komanso kukhala otetezeka kukhala ndi munthu m'modzi? 

• Ngati izi ndi zoona, ndiye kuti ubale wa mwamuna mmodzi ndi wabwino kwa inu. Kukhala paubwenzi wokhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi kungakupatseni chitetezo chomwe mumalakalaka ndipo chingakhale chokhutiritsa kwambiri kwa inu
• Kumbali inayi, ngati lingaliro la ubale wokhazikika sizinthu zomwe mumalembetsa ndipo mumakopeka ndi lingaliro la zibwenzi zambiri, komwe malingaliro achitetezo ndi chitetezo amawunikiridwanso ndikusinthidwa malinga ndi zosowa zanu, polyamory ikhoza kukhala njira kwa inu.

9. Kodi kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi ndi gawo la chipembedzo kapena chikhalidwe chanu?

• Ngati kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndi gawo la chipembedzo chanu ndi chikhalidwe chanu ndipo ndinu ogwirizana, ndiye kuti kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndiye njira yabwino yopitira patsogolo.
• Ngakhale kukwatiwa ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndiye chizolowezi chovomerezeka m'chipembedzo chanu ndi chikhalidwe chanu, mutha kusankha kukhala polyamorous kapena ganizirani kuyambitsa ubale wa polyamorous. Kukhala womasuka kapena ayi zili ndi inu

10. Kodi mumaopa kukalamba nokha?

Apanso, pali mgwirizano wachikhalidwe kuti munthu ayenera kukwatira (kapena kusankha ubale wa m'modzi yekha) kuti akhale naye paubwenzi, makamaka akakalamba. Ubwenzi wodzipereka komanso wanthawi yayitali umakhulupirira kuti ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi mantha anu okalamba nokha. Komabe, chifukwa cha kutchuka kwa njira zina zolumikizirana, nkhawa iyi ikukambidwa mokwanira. Ndipotu, madera okondana kwambiri akutchuka kuti athane ndi mantha enieni awa. Mitundu yonse iwiri yaubwenzi ndi yovomerezeka ndipo ingathandize ukalamba.

11. Kodi mumaganizira za kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi? Kodi mumadziuza nokha, "Ndikufuna ubale wa mwamuna mmodzi"?

• Anthu ambiri ali ndi malingaliro ozama kukhulupirira kuti amafunikira bwenzi limodzi kwa moyo wawo wonse. Ziribe chifukwa chake - zikhulupiriro, mphamvu zamalingaliro, chikhalidwe, chikhalidwe, zowawa - kwa ambiri, kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi kungakhale chisankho chokhacho chomwe amamasuka nacho. 
• Ngati mulibe mtima wofuna kukhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi, mwina muyenera kuganizira za kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi ngati njira yopitira patsogolo, kwa nthawi ndithu. Ingokhalani oona mtima ndi anzanu kuti izi ndi zatsopano kwa inu

Kuyankha mafunso awa moona mtima kudzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa bwino umunthu wanu. Adzakuuzaninso ngati mumakonda kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi kapena ayi. Kumbukirani, chifukwa choti zomwe mudakumana nazo ndi kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi nthawi zambiri zatha ndi kusweka kwa maubwenzi sizikutanthauza kuti kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi sikuyenera kukhala kwa inu. Kumbali ina, ngati mukupeza kuti mukukopeka ndi anthu ambiri nthawi imodzi ndipo mutha kupeza nthawi yocheza nawo mofanana, ndiye kuti muyenera kuganizira za ubale wopanda mkazi mmodzi.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Palibe Zingwe Zomangiriridwa - Lowani Muli Maso Otseguka Ndipo Mufotokozere Malamulo Anu

Momwe Mungasinthire Kuchokera ku Mkwatibwi Mmodzi kupita ku Ubale Wopanda Mkwatibwi

Tsopano tikudziwa kuti mu ethical non-monogamy (ENM) kapena consensual non-monogamy (CNM), aliyense amene akukhudzidwa akudziwa ndipo amavomereza mbali zonse za dynamic. Mawu oti 'osakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi' akukhudza maubwenzi ambiri kuphatikiza polyamory, maubwenzi omasuka, kusinthasintha, kusokonekera paubwenzi, ndi kukhulupirika kwa ambiri. 

Atafunsidwa za maganizo ake pa ubale wotseguka ndi polyamory, Nandita anati, "Aliyense ali ndi ufulu wosankha yekha pankhaniyi. Maziko a makhalidwe abwino osakhala a monogamy ali mu 3 Cs: Kulankhulana, kuganizirana, ndi kuvomerezana. Zimatanthauza kuti ngakhale kuvomereza kwa mnzanu kukupitirira, kumakambidwanso nthawi iliyonse mukalowa mu mphamvu yatsopano ndi wina. Pamene mukusintha kupita ku ENM, ndikofunikira kukhala oona mtima kwa wina ndi mnzake, kukhala omasuka pa zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna, komanso kulemekezana kwambiri.

“Kusinthako kungachedwe ngati muli ndi njira yowonekera ndi yachifundo paubwenziwo kotero kuti musapweteke wokondedwa wanu m’maganizo kapena m’maganizo. 

Ndiye kodi munthu angasinthe bwanji kuchoka ku mwamuna kapena mkazi kukhala ndi khalidwe losakhala mkazi mmodzi?

1. Khazikitsani malamulo oyambira

Ngakhale palibe malamulo okhazikika okhudza kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, inu ndi mnzanu muyenera kukhala ndi maganizo amodzi pankhani yosankha zomwe zili zoyenera ndi zomwe sizivomerezeka. Chisankho chogwirizana ndi cha makhalidwe abwino. Mungasankhe ngati mukufuna ubale wodzipereka kapena wosakhazikika, ubale wachikondi kapena wogonana, ubale wa awiri okha, kapena ubale wotseguka . Ndikofunikira kukhazikitsa miyezo ya ubale wanu pachiyambi kuti muchepetse mwayi wosamvana mtsogolo.

2. Kuona mtima ndi chinsinsi cha ubale wabwino

Chofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi wabwino wopanda mkazi mmodzi ndi kukhulupirika. Muyenera kukhala omveka bwino za zomwe mukuyembekezera ndi malire pamene mukulongosola magawo a ubale wanu. Muyeneranso kukhala omasuka pogawana malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu, makamaka zokonda zanu, zilakolako zakugonana, mantha, ndi kusatetezeka.

3. Samalani maganizo a okondedwa anu

Kusakhala ndi mwamuna m'modzi kumafuna chisamaliro chachikulu komanso kuganizira momwe mnzanuyo akumvera. Nandita anati, "Kusintha kosalekeza kudzachitika ngati simukuwavulaza m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo. Pitirizani kufufuza. Muwatsimikizireni ngati pakufunika kutero . Zoyambira za ubale uliwonse sizisintha ngati ukufuna kuti upambane.

"Zinthu zomwe muyenera kupewa ndikunama, kukakamiza okondedwa anu kuchita zinthu zomwe sakusangalatsidwa nazo, ndikumangirira okondedwa anu kuti akwaniritse zofuna zanu. Muyenera kukambirana ndi okondedwa anu ndikukhala nawo mbali imodzi musanapange chisankho chomwe chingawakhudze. Kuvomereza mwachidwi ndikofunika."

4. Chibwenzi chanu chosakhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi chitha kukhala ndi bwenzi loyamba

Chiyanjano chanu chikhoza kuphatikizapo bwenzi lanu loyamba. Uwu umadziwika ngati ubale wotsogola. Muubwenzi woterewu, okondedwa amavomereza kuika patsogolo kudzipereka kwa bwenzi limodzi kuposa ena. Mwachitsanzo, mukhoza kusankha mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kukhala bwenzi loyamba ndi mnzanu wina kukhala wachiŵiri.

5. Mungakonde kukhala ndi ubale wosagwirizana

Kusakhala ndi mkazi m'modzi yekha kungaphatikizeponso maubwenzi omwe aliyense amachitiridwa mofanana, ndipo palibe mnzawo amene amaikidwa patsogolo kuposa wina. Mtundu wa ubale wopanda mkazi m'modzi umaphatikizapo 'triad,' komwe anthu atatu ali pachibwenzi. Kapena 'vee,' momwe munthu m'modzi ali ndi zibwenzi ziwiri zosiyana. Tengani nthawi yanu, koma sankhani mtundu wa ubale womwe mukufuna, ngakhale yankho litasintha pambuyo pake.

6. Zokwera ndi zotsika ndizabwinobwino

Ubwenzi uliwonse, kaya ukhale wa mkazi mmodzi kapena wosakwatiwa, umakhala ndi mavuto ake. Mikangano, zovuta, chisangalalo, chisoni, ndi malingaliro onse omwe timakumana nawo ndi gawo la moyo. Musadabwe kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana oyipa komanso abwino kwambiri monga nsanje, mantha, nkhawa, kusatetezeka, chisangalalo, chifundo, chithandizo, bata, ndi ufulu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa Zodziwika Zomwe Polyamory Sizigwira Ntchito

7. Yembekezerani kuchita nsanje nthawi zina

Ngakhale simungadzione ngati ndinu munthu wansanje, nthawi zina ndi bwino kukhala ndi nsanje. Izi ndi zachibadwa, ndipo njira yabwino yothetsera malingaliro amenewa ndikulankhulana moona mtima ndikulankhulana momasuka ndi mnzanu . Onani chomwe simunachikwaniritse ndikupeza njira yochikwaniritsira.

8. Funsani ndi kuphunzira

Kufufuza moona mtima kungakuthandizeni kuti mugwirizane ndi malingaliro anu. Kudziwa momwe mukumvera ndikofunikira ngati mukufuna kusintha kuchoka ku mkazi wokhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi kupita kukhalidwe labwino losakhala limodzi. Njirayi ingakhale yovuta chifukwa ambiri aife timapangidwa kuti tizitha kukhala ndi banja limodzi. Kusintha kaganizidwe kameneka kungakhale njira yapang'onopang'ono komanso yapang'onopang'ono, choncho musayese ndikuthamangira. Phunzirani momwe mungathere, tsatirani magulu a polyamory, werengani mabuku okhudza izi, ndipo pitilizani kuphunzira zomwe mumakonda.

Ubale wonse wautali umafuna khama lalikulu komanso kudzipereka. Aliyense ali ndi ufulu wosankha mtundu wa ubale womwe akufuna, kaya ndi wa mkazi mmodzi kapena mkazi mmodzi. Ubalewu ukhoza kukula ndi kuona mtima, kutseguka maganizo, kudalirana, ndi ulemu pakati pa okwatirana. Kupambana kwa ubalewu kudzadalira umunthu wa munthu aliyense komanso luso lake lolankhulana mwachifundo.

Ibibazo

Zizindikiro 12 Zomveka Kuti Mwakopeka Ndipo Osati Mchikondi

15 Chenjezo Makhalidwe A Wonyenga Kwambiri - Osakhala Wozunzidwa Wake Wotsatira

Malangizo 18 Olonjeza Kuti Mupulumuke Kusakhulupirika Mu Ubale - Kwa Wopereka Ndi Woperekedwa.

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.