Ganizirani za ubale wanu ngati chomera. Monga momwe chomera chimafunikira mpweya, madzi, kuwala kwa dzuwa, ndi malo kuti chikule, inu ndi mnzanuyo mumafunikira mikhalidwe yochepa yofunikira kuti mukhale okwatirana. Chofunika kwambiri mwa izi ndi chithandizo chifukwa chimakhala ndi mphamvu pamagulu ena a moyo wanu. Thandizo paubwenzi limamveka bwino (ndi kukulitsidwa) mukapeza zofunikira.
Munthu wanzeru wina ananenapo kuti chidziwitso ndi mphamvu. Chifukwa chake, kuti tidziwe zambiri za momwe kuthandizana wina ndi mnzake muubwenzi wabwino kungalimbikitsire ubale pakati pa anthu awiri komanso momwe kumathandizira kuti pakhale ubale wapamtima, tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), yemwe anayambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi chithandizo cha mabanja. Ndi nzeru zake, tili pano kuti tikuphunzitseni mfundo zoyambira za zomwe zimasunga chikondi ndi chimwemwe muubwenzi.
Kodi Mgwirizano Wothandizira Umakhala Wotani? Mitundu Ya Thandizo Mu Ubale
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kuti mumvetse bwino tanthauzo la chithandizo ndi momwe chimatsogolera ku kukhutitsidwa kwa ubale, choyamba muyenera kudziwa momwe zimamvekera mu mawonekedwe ake athanzi, abwino kwambiri. Ubale wothandizira umamva ngati kukhala ndi bulangeti yabwino ndikukukulungani usiku wozizira. Zimapereka chidziwitso chachitetezo ndi chitetezo. Chodabwitsa, chosowa chofunikira monga chithandizo sichimakwaniritsidwa m'maubwenzi ambiri kapena maukwati. Anthu amakhala otsekeredwa m'maukwati omwe samawalimbikitsa.
Ndipo kusiyana kwake n’koonekeratu. Okwatirana omwe amathandizana amakhala osangalala komanso okhutira. Ndipotu, kafukufuku wochokera ku Carnegie Mellon University adanenanso kuti anthu omwe amathandizidwa muubwenzi amakula bwino payekhapayekha; amakhala ofunitsitsa kufunafuna mwayi wopindulitsa mwachibadwa.
Devaleena akuti, "Aliyense amafuna chithandizo. Kodi si chifukwa chake timalowa muubwenzi kapena ukwati? Chithandizo ndi chofunikira kwambiri pa mgwirizano wamaganizo womwe anthu awiri amagawana. Chimaphatikizapo madera ambiri kuyambira ulemu mpaka ubwenzi. Dziwani luso lothandizana ndipo zina zonse zidzachitika. Ndipo zosiyana nazonso ndi zoona - pamene palibe mgwirizano wamaganizo, ngakhale ubwenzi wathupi umayamba kuzimiririka ndipo mudzaona mavuto ambiri akuyamba kuwonekera."
Kwa thanzi la anthu onse, komanso maubwenzi padziko lonse lapansi, ndikofunikira kukambirana mozungulira chithandizo. Chinthu choyamba chimene tiyenera kuchita ndi kumvetsa mitundu inayi ya chithandizo imene tingapereke kwa munthu amene timam’konda.
1. Thandizo lamalingaliro
Ichi ndi chithandizo chomwe timapereka pafupipafupi kwa abale athu ndi anzathu. Chisoni chimathandiza kwambiri pakuthandizira maganizo; kumaphatikizapo kumvetsera, kukhala wachikondi (kaŵirikaŵiri kuthupi), ndi kuvomereza kupweteka kwa winayo.
Nawa mitundu ina ya chithandizo chamalingaliro muubwenzi wolimba:
- Amagwiritsa ntchito
- Kugwirana manja
- Kusamalira
- Pecks pa tsaya
- Yang'anani maso
- Kuwapatsa chisamaliro chanu chosagawanika
Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi chithandizo chabwino m'maganizo ndi mnzanuyo. Mwinamwake palibe chimene chingachitidwe kusintha mkhalidwe umene umayambitsa chisoni koma munthu nthaŵi zonse angasonyeze kugwirizana m’njira zazing’ono kupyolera mwa chichirikizo chamalingaliro.
2. Mitundu yothandizira - Thandizo lowoneka
Kuchita motsimikiza kuthandiza munthu wina panthawi yamavuto ndi chithandizo chowoneka. Ndi ntchito zomwe timachita pofuna kuthandiza anthu pochepetsa zolemetsa zawo. Mwachitsanzo, kunyamula katundu wolemera wa wina, kuyeretsa nyumba ya mnzako, kapena kuyimbira foni m'malo mwa wina. Thandizo lowoneka ndilowonekera, choncho, ndilosavuta kuwona.
3. Lemekezani thandizo
Mwachidule, chithandizo cha ulemu chimaphatikizapo chilimbikitso ndi kuvomereza ngati chilankhulo cha chikondi. Izi zimachitika tikamalimbikitsa munthu kudzidalira mwa kunena mphamvu zake. Kuyamikira makhalidwe ake abwino ndikutsimikizira kuti angathe kuthana ndi mavuto aliwonse kumathandiza kwambiri. Munthu amene amalandira chithandizo cha ulemu amamva bwino kwambiri.
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4. Thandizo lachidziwitso
Zomwe zimadziwikanso kuti kupereka upangiri kapena chitsogozo, chithandizo chazidziwitso chimaperekedwa kwa anthu omwe akufunika kuchitapo kanthu mtsogolo. Itha kukhala ndi mawu ochepa achitonthozo koma imayang'ana kwambiri pakupangira njira yopita patsogolo kwa munthu winayo. Tikhoza kugwirizanitsa chithandizo chazidziwitso ndi kuthetsa mavuto. Ndipotu, ndi zomwe ndikuchita panopa.
Kodi Zofunikira Zoyambira Pakuthandizira Paubwenzi Ndi Chiyani?
Tiyerekeze kuti chithandizo ndi mawu ofunikira ndipo amatanthauza ulemu, chifundo, kukula, kudalirana, chitetezo, chilimbikitso, ndi chikondi. Popanda kuchedwa, tiyeni tikambirane za izi. Funso la nthawi ino ndi lakuti - Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zomwe zimachititsa kuti munthu azidalirana , azithandizana, komanso azikondana muubwenzi?
1. Ulemu umabala chithandizo muubwenzi
Devaleena akuti, "Ulemu mwina ndi lingaliro losamvetsetseka kwambiri m'gulu lathu. Limalowa mu dongosolo pamene mnzanu wanu apanga zisankho zomwe simukugwirizana nazo kwenikweni. Apa ndi pamene mukumuthandiza mosasamala kanthu za maganizo anu chifukwa mumalemekeza kusiyana kwawo . Pali kuvomereza zosowa ndi zokhumba za mnzanuyo, kudalira zisankho zake, ndikuyembekeza kuti zabwino zidzachitika. Ndikofunikira kupitirira ulemu wokhazikika mu mgwirizano."
Kutsutsa zosankha zawo chifukwa sizikuwoneka ngati zomwe mungapange, ndi chizindikiro cha kusowa kwa chithandizo chamalingaliro. Ndichizindikironso cha kusalemekeza pamene mwathetsa chinthu chimene mnzanuyo amachilemekeza kwambiri. Kuthandizira ndiko kulemekeza - munthu ndi zosiyana.
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2. Chisoni - chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chothandizira maganizo
Chisoni chimapangitsa kusiyana kulikonse padziko lapansi. Ndikutha kumvetsetsa zomwe wokondedwa wanu akukumana nazo. Anthu safulumira kuweruza kapena kudzudzula akakhala ndi chisoni ndi theka lawo labwino. Ichi ndi gawo lofunikira kwambiri pothandizira chifukwa simungathe kuthandizira ndi mtima wonse pokhapokha mutadziyika nokha mu nsapato za wokondedwa wanu. Ndi pamene mugawana zomwe akumana nazo m'pamene mumazindikira kuzama kwa vuto lawo.
Devaleena akufotokoza kuti, "Mumafunika chifundo chachikulu kwa mnzanu. Ndi khalidwe lofunika kwambiri pa ubale wabwino . Popanda ichi, mumakhala mukuthandiza wina pang'ono chabe. Dziwani momwe akuonera zinthu, onani zinthu m'maso mwake, kenako chitani zomwe zikufunikira. Dzifunseni - kodi zikuchokera kuti?"
Kumbukirani izi pamene mukumva kuti mukukhumudwa ndi wokondedwa wanu. Timakumbukira mawu otchuka a Harper Lee amene analemba kuti, “Simumamumvetsadi munthu mpaka mutaganizira zinthu mmene iye amazionera…
3. Kukula ndi kuthandizira kumayendera limodzi
Kukula kumatha kukhala kwamtundu uliwonse kuphatikiza:
- Financial
- Personal
- Luntha
- Maganizo
- Mwauzimu
- Zamalingaliro
Monga tanenera kale, anthu omwe ali muubwenzi wothandizirana amakhala athanzi komanso osangalala chifukwa amapereka mpata woti wina ndi mnzake akule mbali iliyonse ya moyo wawo. Uku ndi kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa chikondi chodzikonda ndi chikondi chopanda dyera . Mukangothandizana kukula, mudzazindikira momwe mwapitira patsogolo komanso momwe mwakulirira ndi chithandizo chawo.
4. Chikhulupiliro ndichofanana ndi chithandizo
Zanenedwa zambiri zokhudza kukhulupirirana ndi kufunika kwake. Koma nchifukwa ninji kuli kofanana ndi kuchirikiza maganizo? Chifukwa pamene abwenzi apeza chithandizo popanda chiweruzo, amaika chikhulupiriro mwa wina ndi mzake. Amakhala awo enieni pomwe akuzindikira kuthekera kwawo konse. Chitonthozo chimenechi chimalimbikitsanso kukhulupirika muubwenzi.
Devaleena akuti, "Choyamba, anthu awiriwa amasiya kudzionetsera. Ndi oona mtima kwa iwo eni komanso kwa wina ndi mnzake. Ndipo chachiwiri, izi zimapangitsa kuti pakhale kulankhulana moona mtima . Akaphunzira kukhulupirirana, zokambirana sizimakhala ngati bwalo la nkhonya. Amatha kulankhulana momasuka, mofatsa, ndikulankhula zoona zawo. Zambiri zimatha kuchitika mukathandizana kukhala abwino kwambiri."
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5. Kupangitsa wokondedwa wanu kukhala otetezeka ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi
Mphamvu zachimuna ndi zachikazi ndizosiyana. Ngati woyambayo akufuna kusonyeza chithandizo kudzera muzochita zautumiki, ndiye kuti womalizayo adzasonyeza chithandizo kudzera m'mawu otsimikizira. Onsewa ndi ofunikira kuti ubale ukhale wolimba. Kumapereka lingaliro lachitetezo lomwe lili ngati kukumbatira chimbalangondo pa thanzi lanu lamalingaliro. Kuthandizana pakati pa abwenzi kumagwirizanitsa okondedwawo kwa wina ndi mzake. Palibe kufalikira kwa nkhani zokhulupirirana, nsanje yosayenera, kapena kunyengerera. Ndi kumasuladi kucheza ndi munthu pambuyo posiya katundu wamalingaliro. Mukhoza njira mphamvu zanu ndithu waphindu pamene inu simuli kuganiza amene mnzanuyo mameseji.
Pakakhala chithandizo, okwatirana amakhala nyumba za wina ndi mnzake. Amabwererana (kapena 'kulumikizana') ndikupumula atatha tsiku lalitali kunja. Onse awiri amasiya kuda nkhawa kapena kuganizira kwambiri za komwe ali . Chitetezo muubwenzi ndi maziko olimba omangira moyo.
6. Thandizo limapereka chilimbikitso
Ndikudziwa kuti izi zikuwoneka zomveka kunena koma thandizo ndilopatsa mphamvu kwambiri. Kudziwa kuti wina ali ndi nsana wanu nthawi zonse ndizomwe zimakulimbikitsani. Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu omwe akuvutika ndi thanzi labwino amapindulanso ndi dongosolo lolimba lothandizira. Munthu akhoza kugunda pansi, koma chithandizo mu chiyanjano chimamupangitsa kuti abwerere. Nthawi zonse amadziwa kuti pali njira yobwereranso - kuti atha kuchita.
Wowerenga wina wochokera ku New Orleans analemba kuti, “Ndakhala ndikuvutika ndi kuvutika maganizo kuyambira ndili ndi zaka 18 ndipo kusunga chibwenzi sikunali kophweka. Koma kenako ndinapeza munthu wofunitsitsa kukhala nane pa zonsezi. Ngakhale pamene tinasamukira ku mizinda yosiyanasiyana kukagwira ntchito, iye anatha kundithandiza paubwenzi wautali. Ndinaona kusintha kwakukulu kwa thanzi langa la maganizo pamene ndinkadziwa kuti amandikhulupirira. N’zoona kuti zimene amanena, chikondi chimagonjetsa chilichonse.”
7. Chikondi chimaphuka ndipo chimabweretsa chisangalalo mu ubale mukakhala ndi mnzanu wokuthandizani
Chikondi chakuthupi ndi ubwenzi ndi zinthu zofunika kwambiri ngati mukufuna kulimbikitsa chithandizo chamaganizo ndi kuyandikana kwamaganizo. N'kofunikanso kuti mumvetsetse bwino mnzanu wanu. Pali ubwino wambiri pa thanzi chifukwa chokondana mwakuthupi; kafukufuku wina adanenanso kuti kukhudzana ndi okondedwa athu kungathandize kuti mtima ukhale wathanzi. Pitirizani kukumbatirana!
Kupsompsonana kwatsimikiziridwanso kuti kumachepetsa nkhawa ndikutulutsa mahomoni achimwemwe. Muziyang'anana maso nthawi iliyonse akamacheza nanu. Ndipo kodi ndikufunika kufotokoza kufunika kogonana bwino? Mitundu yosiyanasiyana yothandizira imafunanso kugwirizana pa kugonana komanso kusakhala ndi chibwenzi. Onetsetsani kuti mwasintha malingaliro anu othandizira kukhala khalidwe. Sindingathe kutsindika izi mokwanira - kukhala wokhudza mtima ndikwabwino. Apatseni chidwi chanu chonse ndipo gwiritsani dzanja la mnzanuyo pazovuta zonse.
Chifukwa Chiyani Thandizo Ndi Lofunika Paubwenzi?
Thandizo mu ubale uliwonse umakhudza kulankhulana wina ndi mzake za momwe mukumvera, ngakhale atakhala opanda pake. Awiri a inu mukhoza kuvomereza malingaliro, kuwona ngati chirichonse chiyenera kukonzedwa, ndikupitiriza pambuyo pake. Wokondedwa mmodzi akhoza kuyang'ana winayo pamene akumva kutsika komanso mosiyana. Pamene mmodzi wa inu ali ndi chisoni, winayo ayenera kuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti amvetsere chisoni, kumusokoneza, kapena kutonthoza mnzake. Zonse ndi kukhalapo kwa wina ndi mzake.
Kukhazikitsa ubale wozama komanso watanthauzo ndi munthu si vuto. Sizokwera mtengo chakudya chamadzulo madeti ndi mokhudza kugonana. Komanso ndi nkhani zotsamira ndikuwawona iwo ali mu zovuta kwambiri ndi kuwakonda m'njira iliyonse. Apa ndipamene chithandizo chimagwira ntchito yofunika kwambiri. Koma chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa dziko lonse likadzaoneka ngati lakupandukirani, padzakhala munthu m’modzi akugwira dzanja lanu n’kukuuzani kuti mukhale amphamvu. Nazi zifukwa zina zomwe kuthandizira ndikofunikira muubwenzi:
- Kukhala ndi mnzanu wothandizira kumakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino
- Zimakuthandizani kuthana ndi zovuta
- Zimakuthandizani kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu komanso zolinga za ubale
- Zimamanga maziko osasweka a chikondi
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Kukhala ndi bwenzi lothandiza kuli ngati kukhala ndi bwenzi lapamtima lomwe silingakuweruzeni chifukwa cha zolakwa zanu, zowawa zanu, ndi zosankha zanu pamoyo wanu.
- Onetsani chithandizo polemekeza wokondedwa wanu. Kuthandizana wina ndi mnzake muubwenzi kumatanthauza kukwezana wina ndi mnzake ndikupewa kudzudzulidwa kosalekeza
- Kupereka chidziwitso cha chitetezo ndi chitetezo kwa wina ndi mzake ndi njira imodzi yopezera chiyanjano mu chiyanjano
Limbikitsani mphamvu zanu popereka ndi kulandira chikondi, chitonthozo, ndi chithandizo. Izi ndizo maziko a chithandizo mu ubale. Onetsani chikondi chanu tsiku lililonse ndi zochita zazing'ono zachikondi. Muzichita zilankhulo zachikondi za wina ndi mnzake kuti mulimbikitse ubale wanu. Izi zikuthandizani nonse kukula mu ubale.
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