11 Psychological Tricks Kuti Mupangitse Ex Wanu Kunong'oneza Bondo Kukusiyani

Mu masewera a ubale a mipando yachifumu, palibe choipa kuposa kutayidwa. Pamene mukumva ululu ndi kuyamwitsa zilonda zamaganizo, n'kwachibadwa kudzipeza mukudabwa momwe mungapangire chisoni chanu wakale kukusiyani. Ndipo ndani angakuimbe mlandu chifukwa cha malingaliro amenewa? Mukakhumudwa ndi zowawa, kuganiza kuti wakale wanu ali ndi chisoni chifukwa chakutayani kungakuthandizeni. 

Ichi sichingakhale cholinga chodziikira nokha, chifukwa chodandaula chifukwa cha kutha kwa banja. Mu a kafukufuku zomwe zimachitidwa ndi tsamba la zibwenzi, mwa anthu 1,400, 76.5% adavomereza kuti adanong'oneza bondo pasanathe masiku 60 atasiyana, ndipo 73% adavomereza kuti abwereranso kwa wakale wawo akapatsidwa mwayi. Kotero, inde, wakale wanu akhoza kuchititsidwa chisoni kuti anasiyana nanu. 

Komabe, muyenera kupondaponda mosamala, kuwonetsetsa kuti musadzipereke ulemu wanu, lolani kuti muvulazidwenso, ndikuchita zomwe zimathamangitsira ex wanu kutali ndi inu. Kuti izi zitheke, tikubweretserani zidule 11 zamaganizidwe zomwe zingapangitse wakale wanu kukuwonani mosiyana ndi kuganiziranso zomwe asankha kuti asiyane.   

Momwe Mungapangire Ex Wanu Kunong'oneza Bondo Kukusiyani-11 Psychological Tricks 

Musanayambe kugwiritsa ntchito misampha yamalingaliro kuti mupangitse kuti wakale wanu anong'oneze bondo kukusiyani, dziwani momveka bwino za cholinga chanu: kodi iyi ndi dongosolo la 'win ex back', kapena ndi njira yokhayo yopangira chisoni kuti adatayani? Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti ndinu okonzeka kuwalandira ngati abweranso? Kapena mumangofuna kuthamangitsidwa kuti muwawone akumva ngati chitsiru polola munthu ngati inu kupita? Kuzindikira kuzama kwa malingaliro anu komanso kutalika komwe mukulolera kupitako ndikofunikira. 

Kumbukirani kuti mukhoza kuchita ex wanu chisoni kukupwetekani inu ndikukufunani kuti mubwerere pokhapokha mutakhala ndi mphamvu. Chifukwa chake dzipangireni chidwi ngakhale mutakhala mnzanu wakale, ndipo gwiritsani ntchito njira zamaganizidwe zolephera kuti mupangitse ex wanu kuti anong'oneze bondo kukusiyani:

1. Yesetsani kuthetsa ululu wanu wa m'maganizo

Chinthu choyamba ndi kuonetsetsa kuti maganizo anu ndi okhazikika chifukwa pamene maganizo anu akuchulukirachulukira, mukhoza kuchita zinthu zimene mungadzanong’oneze nazo bondo pambuyo pake. Ndipo sizomwe mwakonzekera kuchita. Cholinga chanu ndi kuwona wakale wanu akunong'oneza bondo chifukwa chosweka, ndipo kuti mukwaniritse izi muyenera kukhala pamutu woyenera, mwamalingaliro. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera:

• Dzipatseni nthawi yokwanira kuti mulire ubale womwe watayika ndikuthana ndi zowawa ndi zowawa 
• Pezani chithandizo ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu apamtima ngati pakufunika kutero
• Onetsetsani kuti mwadutsa gawo loyipa kwambiri lachisudzulo ndipo mutha kuganiza momveka bwino  

2. Chokani pamaso panu kwakanthawi 

Zitha kuwoneka ngati zosemphana ndi zomwe mukuyesera kudziwa momwe mungapangire bondo wanu wakale kukusiyani, koma njira yabwino kwambiri yomwe mungachitire ndikusunga mbiri yotsika mukamagwira ntchito zoyambira zomwe munatayidwa ndikudutsamo. magawo a chisoni pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja. Osagwetsedwa ndi radar yawo kwathunthu (werengani mfundo zotsalazo kuti mudziwe chifukwa chake) koma pangani chinsinsi pozungulira inu mukumva chisoni. 

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukufuna kupangitsa bwenzi lanu lakale kuti anong’oneze bondo kukusiyani kapena bwenzi lanu lakale lilape zochita zake, kudzipangitsa kukhala osawoneka pang’ono kungayambitse chidwi chawo cha zomwe mukuchita. Chitani izi mukugwira ntchito nokha ndikusintha zomwe, zikawululidwa, zidzasokoneza malingaliro awo ndikupangitsa kuti chisoni chanu chakumbuyo chakutayani. Zingathenso kuyambitsa kuyesetsa kukonzanso.  

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3. Menyani chikhalidwe TV ndi kubwezera 

Mukasonkhanitsa zidutswa za mtima wanu wosweka, ndi nthawi yoti mudzichotsere fumbi ndikutuluka ngati phoenix yotuluka paphulusa. Tsopano, inu mukhoza kudabwa, momwe panga ex wako akusowe ndikunong'oneza bondo pokusiyani powona mtundu watsopanowu, wowongoleredwa bwino pomwe simulinso m'moyo wa wina ndi mnzake. Chabwino, ndicho chimene chikhalidwe TV kwa. Yakwana nthawi yoti mukweze masewera anu chifukwa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndi okhudza malingaliro ndipo muyenera kupambana nkhondoyi. M'malo mwake, gwiritsani ntchito Instagram, Snapchat, kapena Facebook kuti mulembe za moyo wabwino womwe mwakhala mukukhala kuyambira pomwe munatha.

• Tumizani zithunzi zanu ndi anzanu mukusangalala kwambiri
• Yang'anani muzovala zanu zatsopano ndikulemba mawu osangalatsa komanso osangalatsa osatchula zakutha kwanu
• Yambitsani chidwi chawo pongofotokoza zokwanira za zochita zanu. Apangitseni kufuna zambiri

4. Musayambe kucheza ndi wakale wanu koma kusiya zenera lotseguka kwa iwo 

Kodi ndingapangire bwanji chisoni wanga wakale kundisiya, mukufunsa? Chabwino, njira imodzi yotsimikizirika yochitira zimenezo ndi kuwalola kumva kulibe. Apatseni mwayi kuti akuphonyeni ndikuwona momwe moyo wopanda inu umawonekera. Ngati mwakhazikitsa lamulo losalumikizana mutatha kutha, musakhale amene mumathetsa mwa kuyambitsa kukhudzana. Komabe, siyani zenera lotseguka kuti akufikireni. 

Bwanji? Posawatsekereza kapena kuwatsata pa amithenga anu komanso pazama TV. Pitirizani kukhala MIA koma khalani kwinakwake pa radar yawo. Pangani kukhalapo kwanu kumva kudzera mwa abwenzi wamba ndi anthu omwe ali pa intaneti yanu ndikuchita moyo wanu ngati kuti palibe chomwe chalakwika, kwinaku mukusiya kuyambitsa zokambirana kapena msonkhano wapamtima. 

5. Yang'anani pa kukhala wopambana wa inu nokha

Kuti anong'oneze bondo chifukwa chakukutayani kapena kumupangitsa kuti aganizirenso zomwe akufuna kukutayani, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri kuti mukhale munthu wabwino kwambiri ndikuwonetsetsa kuti wakale wanu akuwona momwe mukupita patsogolo. 

Mwachitsanzo, mutha kuyesetsa kupeza 'thupi lobwezera' pomenya masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi kubwezera ndikukhala olimba komanso otentha kuposa kale. Kapena dzipatseni zodzikongoletsera zomwe mumazifuna mobisa koma osatsimikiza kuti mutha kuzichotsa. Dabwitsani wakale wanu ndi mawonekedwe anzeru komanso owoneka bwino kuti adziwe zomwe akuphonya. 

• Pezani zovala zatsopano, sungani ndalama mu salon yabwino, valani mitundu yowala
• Momwe mungabwezere pa yoex wanu? Yesetsani kukhala munthu wabwino koposa—zikukulitsanso kudzidalira kwanu 
• Dzipatseni cholinga cha momwe mukufuna kuti muziwoneka. Mwina wakale wanu ankakonda tsitsi lalifupi, ndiye tsopano ndi mwayi wanu wodula maloko anu ndikupeza zometa - pokhapokha ngati muziwakonda, inde. 

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6. Khalani wolemekezeka ponena za kutha kwa banja

Ngati mukuganiza momwe mungapangire wakale wanu kuti akufuneninso, nali phunziro lofunika kwa inu: pewani chiyeso cha badmouth kapena kunena zoipa za wakale wanu ngakhale atayenda pamtima panu pachiwopsezo. M'malo momangokhalira kudandaula za momwe mungapangire chisoni chanu chakale kukusiyani, konzekerani kubwereranso m'njira yomwe imapangitsa dziko kukhala kumbali yanu.

Khalani olemekezeka pakutha, kumamatira ku mayankho olondola a ndale monga, "Palibe zowawa", "Ndikuwafunira zabwino", "Zimene tinagawana zinali zapadera, ndipo chifukwa cha izi, ndidzakhala woyamikira nthawi zonse". Ngakhale wanu wakale anakusiyani kwa munthu wina, musawukire zolinga zawo kapena ubale wawo watsopano. Zidzakupangitsani kuti muwoneke ngati a mkazi wamtengo wapatali kapena munthu—munthu amene anzanu angamulemekeze. Pamene wakale wanu amva za mabwenzi wamba, sangachite kanthu koma kumva chisoni chifukwa chosiya munthu wokhwima ndi wanzeru.  

7. Khalani chete mukawaona

Pakufuna kwanu kudziwa momwe mungapangire mwamuna kuti anong'oneze bondo chifukwa chakutayani kapena momwe mungapangire mkazi kuti aganizirenso kukusiyani, kuzindikira ndikowona. Mmene mumachitira mukakumana ndi wakale wanu kwa nthawi yoyamba mutatha kusudzulana akhoza kupita kutali kuti adziwe momwe amakuonerani. Chifukwa chake muyenera kukhalabe ndi mawonekedwe osakhudzidwa ndi wakale wanu ngakhale atakhala ululu wakutayidwa akukuphani mkati. 

• Khalani odekha mukakumana pagulu kapena paphwando 
• Osawoneka okhumudwa kapena okondwa kwambiri mukawawona. M'malo mwake, apatseni phewa lozizira
• Adziwitseni kuti muli pamwamba pawo (koma osati m'mawu ambiri) ndipo mutu wanu ukhale pamwamba

8. Onetsani kuti pali munthu wina m'moyo wanu 

Sitikunena kuti mulumphe mu mphete ya zibwenzi pa rebound, koma pang'ono chibwenzi wamba ndi zambiri kudzidziwitsa si maganizo oipa pamene mukufuna kuti iye / iye bondo kutaya inu. Mwina, mungaganizire zopita kokacheza ndi munthu yemwe wakhala akukuyang'anani kwakanthawi kapena munthu wina yemwe mudalumikizana naye pa pulogalamu yapa chibwenzi. Ikani chithunzi pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti m'njira yomwe mukutsimikiza kuti wakale wanu adzawona. Zowona zidzawakhudza kwambiri kuona wina akusangalala ndi kukhala nawo, ndipo pali mwayi uliwonse kuti angafunse chisankho chothetsa zinthu ndi inu. 

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9. Ganizirani za kupambana pa ntchito 

Kodi panga ex wako akukufunani, mukudabwa? Chabwino, kukhala wina wotuluka mumgwirizano wawo kungadzutse chikhumbo choyanjanitsa mu mtima wa wakale wanu. Njira imodzi yochitira zimenezi ndiyo kuika mphamvu zanu zonse pakuchita bwino mwaukadaulo. Nthawi zambiri, chikondi chimatha kulamulira moyo wanu ndipo zokhumba zanu pazantchito ndi zachuma zitha kulephera. 

Ngati mwasokoneza moyo wanu waukatswiri chifukwa cha ubale wanu, ino ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane mosamalitsa pakukula kwa ntchito yanu. Kuchita bwino mwaukadaulo kumawonjezera chidaliro, chomwe nthawi zonse chimakhala chabwino kwambiri chomwe chimakopa chikondi chatsopano m'moyo wanu ndikupangitsa moto wakale kuganiziranso zakutha. 

10. Khalani ndi moyo wachimwemwe wosakwatiwa 

Monga tidanenera kale, pakufuna kwanu "momwe mungapangire chisoni changa wakale kundisiya", muyenera kudziyang'anira nokha. Chotero, m’malo molakalaka nthaŵi yabwino imene munali ndi mnzanu wakale, gwiritsani ntchito nthaŵi imeneyi kukhala mbeta mokwanira. Zoonadi, pangani zowawa za izo, kotero kuti wakale wanu akhoza kukuwonani mu kuwala kwatsopano ndi kubwereza chisankho chawo chothetsa nanu. Pitilizani, chitani zonse nokha zomwe mudaphonya mukakhala pachibwenzi: 

• Yendani nokha
• Kumanani ndi anthu atsopano
• Lowani nawo kalasi yosangalatsa
• Wonjezerani anzanu

11. Khalanibe ndi ubwenzi wabwino ndi mabwenzi ndi achibale awo 

Ichi ndi chovuta koma chimodzi mwamaupangiri ofunikira kwambiri amomwe mungapangire chisoni chanu wakale kukusiyani. Kuti wanu wakale azindikire kufunika kwanu, mufunika kukhala pakati, mlatho wamitundumitundu, womwe umasunga moyo wanu wolumikizana ndikuwonetsetsa kuti moto wanu wakale umasinthidwa pafupipafupi za moyo wanu wosangalatsa, wokwaniritsa pambuyo pakutha. Komabe, nthawi zambiri, banja likatha, mabwenzi awo amagawanikanso pakati, ndipo si zachilendo kuti mabanja azitalikirana ndi ma exes, kotero mungafunike kukhala osamala komanso anzeru pa izi. Nazi zina zomwe mungayesere: 

• Onetsetsani kuti mumagwirizana ndi anzanu onse omwe muli nawo, ndikuyambapo kukonzekera zocheza. Mukatero, musamuuze wakale wanu kapena kudandaula za kutha, koma yesetsani kuwadziwitsa kuti muli bwino ndi iwo kukhala mabwenzi ndi wakale wanu. 
• Ndikukhumba amayi kapena mlongo wawo kapena aliyense amene munali pafupi naye kwambiri m'banjamo patsiku lawo lobadwa komanso patchuthi. Ngati ayankha, pita patsogolo pang'onopang'ono powauza kuti muwathandize chinachake kapena kuwauza kuti mutenge khofi nthawi ina 
• Ngati mwacheza ndi anzawo kapena anzanu pazama media, musawatsatire kapena kuwasiya. M'malo mwake, yesetsani kuchita nawo zomwe amalemba, kuti amve kuti akukakamizika kubwezera, ndipo, ndithudi, akhoza kumuuza wakale wanu za iwo.

Mumadziwa Bwanji Ngati Ex Wanu Akunong'oneza Bondo Kukusiyani?

Mu 2015, mkulu phunziro Akuluakulu azaka zonse, kuphatikiza amuna ndi akazi omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, adatenga nawo gawo 5,705 m'maiko 96. Panali kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa amuna ndi akazi ponena za machiritso ndi zotsatira za nthawi yayitali. Azimayi, ngakhale anakhudzidwa kwambiri pakapita nthawi, ankakonda kuganizira ndikupita patsogolo. Mbali inayi, kusweka kumakhudza amuna pambuyo pake ndipo amakonda kukhalabe achisoni kwambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri amatchula anzawo am'mbuyomu ngati abwino kwambiri omwe adakhala nawo.

Kunong'oneza bondo pakutha n'kofala kwambiri. Koma ngakhale mutayesetsa kuti chikondi chanu chibwererenso m’moyo wanu kapena kuonetsetsa kuti akunong’oneza bondo kukusiyani n’kupita kwa munthu wina, pali chinachake chimene simuyenera kuchita—kuwatsatira ngati sakufuna. Ngati, pambuyo pa zoyesayesa zonse zomwe zili pamwambazi, wakale wanu sakuwonetsa kuti akunong'oneza bondo kukutayani, ino ndi nthawi yoti musinthe. Komabe, ngati mumasewera makhadi anu molondola, pali mwayi woti mutha kupambananso wakale wanu. Koma kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati zinthu zikuyenda bwino? Nazi zizindikiro 5 zodandaula kuti banja linatha: 

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1. Amacheza nanu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti 

Ngati wakale wanu akadali ndi malingaliro abwino pa inu, ndiye kuti sangakusiyeni kapena kukusiyani. Ngati wakale wanu ali ndi chidwi chofuna kubwereranso nanu, ndiye kuti amayesa kufalitsa uthengawo, mochenjera, kudzera muzochita zawo zapa TV. Kukonda kapena kuyankha kapena kugawana positi yanu ndi njira yawo yonenera kuti "palibe zomverera zolimba", ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zomwe amanong'oneza nazo bondo kukutayani kapena akuganizanso zakutha. 

2. Adzayesa kulumikizana 

Mudzakhala pa radar yawo kapena adzaonetsetsa kuti ali anu. Zikhale kukugundani mwachisawawa mukamacheza mosangalala ndi abwenzi kapena kukutumizirani zolimbikitsa mawu achilimbikitso Mauthenga kapena moni wapaphwando (mwachiwonekere ngati wopita patsogolo), sizingathetse ubale wanu ndi inu. Sizingakhale chifukwa amanong'oneza bondo chifukwa chosiyana nanu ndikufuna kuti mubwerere, koma ikhoza kukhala sitepe yoyamba yopita ku chiyanjano. 

3. Adzafunsa za inu; 

Ngati sichoncho mwachindunji, mosalunjika, adzafuna kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanu. Zowonjezereka, ngati mwatsatira zomwe tatchulazi ndikupangitsa chidwi chawo chokhudza sassier wanu, kudzidalira komanso kuchita bwino. Ngati akhala akufunsa mochenjera kudzera mwa abwenzi wamba, ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu chakumva chisoni chifukwa chosiyana. Ex wanu akhoza kukhala wotseguka kuti aperekenso kuwombera kwina. 

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4. Amagawana nanu zokumbukira

Ngati mumalankhulabe ndi wakale wanu, amatha kuyankhula zam'mbuyomu kapena kugawana mwachisawawa kukumbukira kwa inu nonse pa Facebook kuyambira zaka ziwiri zapitazo. Ndichizindikiro chachikulu kuti wakale wanu akunong'oneza bondo kukusiyani ndipo akukuvutitsani. 

5. Amachita nsanje ngati mutayambiranso chibwenzi

Tinene kuti mwakhalapo chibwenzi kachiwiri mutasiyana ndipo musamachite mafupa pa mnzako watsopanoyo. Ngati mwamuna wanu wakale amakukondani, adzayamba nsanje. A phunziro idachitika pa azimayi 509 ndi amuna 338, lofalitsidwa mu Malire a Psychology, akusonyeza kuti anthu osakwatiwa amachitira nsanje kwambiri ndi mabwenzi awo akale kusiyana ndi anthu amene ali paubwenzi amene amachitira nsanje anzawo omwe anali nawo panopa.

Kusudzulana ndi kovuta kupirira ndipo chiyeso chobwereranso ndi amene munataya nthawi zambiri chimakhala champhamvu. Komabe, ngakhale sikutheka kubwezeranso chikondi chanu chotayika, onetsetsani kuti simuli chisankho chachiwiri kwa aliyense. 

Maganizo Final

Kukhala pachibwenzi, kupita patali kwambiri kuti musafune chidwi ndi wakale wanu, komanso kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti muwoneke ngati wosimidwa kuyenera kupewedwa. Pamapeto pake, muyenera kukhala ndi ubale wabwino kwambiri komanso bwenzi lodzipereka. Chifukwa chake, musalole kuti kudzikuza kukhala chifukwa chake mukamapanga mapulani amomwe mungapangire bondo wanu wakale kukusiyani.  

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