Momwe Mungathetsere Ubale Pamigwirizano Yabwino

Momwe mungathetsere ubale wabwino? Ili ndi funso lomwe nthawi zambiri limapangitsa anthu kusagona tulo usiku akamatsala pang'ono kutha. Pokhapokha ngati ubalewo wakhala woopsa kwambiri, wankhanza, kapena wopanda thanzi, ili ndi funso lomwe liyenera kuganiza mozama kuchokera kwa munthu amene akukoka pulagi. Kupatula apo, kutha kwa maubwenzi kumatha kukhala piritsi lopweteka lomeza ndikuyambitsa kulira kwachisoni.

Kuthetsa kukambirana momasuka sikungothetsa vutolo pang'onopang'ono komanso kumapangitsa kuti zinthu zisamayende bwino ndi wakale wanu yemwe watsala pang'ono kukhala. Ndiye mungathetse bwanji ubale wabwino? Chabwino, sitepe yoyamba ndi crafts anu yosweka-mmwamba kulankhula mosamala ndi kusamalira zinthu mowolowa manja smattering wa kuleza mtima ndi chifundo. Kotero inde, kugawanika mwamtendere kumafuna khama kwambiri kusiyana ndi kuwombera uthenga waulemu kuti athetse chibwenzi, koma kumbali yowala, kumathandizanso kupewa masewero ambiri.

Komabe, kukhazikitsa mgwirizano pakati pa kusudzulana mwamtendere kuti zinthu zisakhale zowawa kwambiri moti simungakhalenso mu moyo wa wina ndi mnzake ndikuonetsetsa kuti chifundo chanu sichikutsegula zipata za mkhalidwe wovuta wobwereranso kungakhale chingwe cholimba choyendamo. Kuti tikuthandizeni kuyendetsa bwino izi, tikukubweretserani upangiri wokhudza kusudzulana, pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Anita Eliza (M.Sc mu Applied Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani monga nkhawa, kuvutika maganizo, maubwenzi, ndi kudzidalira. Malangizo ake ndi malangizo ake osudzulana adzakuthandizani kudziwa momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi mwaulemu.

Zifukwa 7 Zomveka Zothetsera Ubale

Tisanafike pa momwe tingathetsere vuto la kusudzulana ndi mnzanu popanda kusokoneza ubale, tiyenera kuthana ndi vuto lina lofunika: momwe mungadziwire nthawi yoti musudzulane ndi munthu wina. Mwina mwakhala mukuganiza zosudzulana, koma musanachitepo kanthu pa maganizo amenewo, ndikofunikira kukhala otsimikiza 100% kuti izi ndi zomwe mukufuna kuti musadzanong'oneze bondo chifukwa cha chisankho chanu kapena kubwereranso pakati pa kusudzulana ndi kubwererana.

Ngati maganizo ngati, "Chibwenzi wanga ndi wangwiro, koma ine ndikufuna kuthetsa" kapena "Ndikufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi changa koma ine ndimamukonda" ndi clouding malingaliro anu, tione zotsatirazi mwangwiro zifukwa zomveka kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakuthandizeni kupeza maganizo:

1. Ubale ukulowa m'njira ya kupambana kwanu ndi kukula

Brie anali kusangalala ndi chibwenzi chake chatsopano ndi mnyamata yemwe adakumana naye kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi pomwe adapeza mwayi wokwezedwa pantchito womwe amayembekezeredwa kwambiri. Zofunikira pa ntchito yake yatsopano zidafunikira kudzipereka kwakukulu ndi mphamvu, maola khumi ogwira ntchito komanso kumachoka mtawuni kupita kumisonkhano. Ndandanda yake yotanganidwa idakhala fupa la mikangano muubwenzi, ndipo Brie adawona kuti ndibwino kuti athetse zinthu ndi chibwenzi chake popeza zonse zidali zatsopano komanso anali wotanganidwa kwambiri.

Ngati mukukumana ndi vuto lofanana ndi limenelo pamene ubale wanu kapena mnzanu wanu akukulepheretsani kupambana ndi kukula kwanu kapena mukumva kuti muli ndi mlandu chifukwa choika patsogolo zolinga zanu ndi zosowa zanu kuposa zimenezo, kungakhale bwino kusiyana. Makamaka ngati ndi ubale watsopano. Ngakhale tonsefe timakonda kukhala ndi munthu woti tibwerere kunyumba, kungakhale kosayenera kusunga mnzanuyo akungomusiya kapena kumuletsa pamene maganizo anu akutanganidwa kwina.

2. Kusakhutira ndi maganizo

Mwina mukusiyana maganizo, muli osiyana kwambiri ndi momwe mumaonera zinthu, kapena muli ndi zinthu zina zofunika zomwe zingakulepheretseni kupereka 100% ku ubale wanu. Zilizonse mwa zinthuzi zingasokoneze mgwirizano wamaganizo womwe mumamva ndi mnzanu. Ngati ubale suli wotonthoza maganizo, ndi nthawi yoti muganizirenso ngati uli wofunika. Ngati kukumbatirana kwachikondi, kupsompsonana, ndi kumwetulira kukusowa kapena sikubweretsa malingaliro omwewo monga kale, ndi chifukwa chomveka bwino chothetsera ubale.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 21 Zoyenera Kuchita ndi Zosayenera Kuchita Pothetsa Chibwenzi Chanu

3. Kutengedwa ngati chinthu chongoganizira

“Musamakonde kuchitiridwa ngati chinthu chomwe mwaganiza kale muubwenzi. Ubwenzi wapamtima umafuna khama lokhazikika kuchokera kwa onse awiri kuti ukhale bwino. Ngati mnzanu sakuyesera kukupatsani malo mumtima mwake, m'maganizo mwake, komanso m'moyo wake, ndi chizindikiro chosatsutsika cha ubale womwe umafunika chisamaliro chanu,” akutero Eliza.

Ngati apitiliza kuyimba mafoni anu ndikuyiwala masiku ofunikira, mwayi ndi wakuti sakukuikani patsogolo. N’zopanda pake kukhalabe ndi chiyembekezo chakuti asintha njira zawo. Njira yabwino ndiyo kudziwa momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi chomwe sichikupita kulikonse ndikudula zotayika.

4. Nkhanza ndi chinyengo paubwenzi

Malangizo ofunikira kwambiri pakutha kwa chibwenzi omwe tili nawo ndi akuti musalole kuipitsidwa, nkhanza zamtundu uliwonse, kapena kusokonezana mwachikondi muubwenzi. Zizindikiro zowopsa za mnzanu wozunza/woopsa/wonyenga zingaphatikizepo:

• Kukunyozetsani
• Kusokoneza malingaliro anu
• kuyatsa gasi
• Kudzipatula kwa okondedwa anu
• Kudziimba mlandu
• Kusewera masewera amalingaliro kuti akulamulireni
• Kugwiritsa ntchito ziwopsezo kuti zichitike
• Kuwonetsa nsanje yosayenera

Uwu si mndandanda wokwanira chifukwa machitidwe osagwirizana ndi maubwenzi amatha kukhala osiyanasiyana. Komabe, ngati chibadwa chanu cha m’matumbo chikukuuzani kuti simukuchitidwa bwino, ndipo mnzanuyo amakupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa, kusimidwa, ndi kuthedwa nzeru m’malo mokhala otetezeka, otetezeka, ndi okondedwa, muyenera kudziwa mmene mungatulukire muubwenzi umene umaika thanzi lanu la maganizo ndi thupi pachiswe. Osadandaula za kusiya ubale mwaulemu, muzochitika izi; muyenera kuika patsogolo kudziteteza kuposa china chilichonse.

5. Nkhani zokhulupirira

Nkhani zokhudza kudalirana zingakhale chifukwa chomveka chothetsera chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda. Ngati mnzanu ndi wabodza, akusonyeza zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika , wanyenga kapena wasiya kudalirana kwanu m'mbuyomu, kapena akupitirizabe kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka, ndi nthawi yoti muone ngati ndinu oyenerana wina ndi mnzake. Ikhoza kukhala nthawi yoti muonenso momwe alili abwino kwa inu.

Kumbali ina, zingakhale zovuta kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino, wathanzi ngati mnzanu akulimbana ndi nkhani zokhulupirirana, zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti azikukayikirani ndipo nthawi zonse mumawatsimikizira kuti mukubera kapena mukuzemba kumbuyo kwawo. Upangiri wathu wakutha kwa inu ungakhale kuti muchotse bandaid iyi posachedwa.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Nkhani Zokhudza Kudalirana - Zizindikiro 10 Zomwe Zimakuvutani Kukhulupirira Aliyense

6. Amakana kulolerana

Eliza akuti, “Kulolerana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paubwenzi wabwino bola ngati onse awiri ali ogwirizana. Koma ngati mnzawo m'modzi yekha akupitirizabe kulekerera ndipo winayo akulimbikira kuti zinthu ziyende bwino, ubalewo ukhoza kukhala wotopetsa komanso wokhumudwitsa. Inde, kuuza mnzanuyo kuti mukufuna kulekana si njira yokhayo yothetsera vutoli.

"Ngati ndi ubale wautali ndipo onse awiri ali ndi ndalama zothandizira wina ndi mzake ndi tsogolo lawo limodzi, akhoza kuthetsa zinthu mwa kulankhulana bwino ndi kuyesetsa kosalekeza." Komabe, ngati mutamuuza zofuna zanu kapena kumuuza mnzanuyo kuti kusasinthasintha kwawo kumasokoneza ubale wanu ndi iwo, akukana kukonza, zingakhale bwino kuti muchoke.

7. Kugwa m’chikondi

Ngati mukuwononga nthawi yochulukirapo ndikufunsa kuti, "Kodi malingaliro otayika angabwerere?" kapena “Kodi mungauze bwanji munthu amene munasiya kumukonda?” Mwina ndi nthawi yoti muvomereze kuti mwasiya kukondana ndi mnzanuyo ndipo muyenera kupitiriza. Si zachilendo kuti anthu ayambe kukondana ndi okondedwa awo - kapena kuyamba kukondana ndi wina. M'malo mwake, ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe maubwenzi amatha. Choncho, ngati mukupezeka pamphambano izi, musatalikitse ululu wanu ndi wa mnzanuyo. Mukuganiza zothetsa chibwenzi, mutha kukambirana ndikupitilira.

Momwe Mungathetsere Ubale Pamigwirizano Yabwino?

Tsopano popeza takambirana zifukwa zothetsa chibwenzi, tiyeni tikambirane za mmene tingathetsere chibwenzi mwanzeru. Kukhala woona mtima mwankhanza ndi inu, palibe kuchuluka kwa maupangiri ndi zidule zomwe zingapangitse kusiya ubale kukhala kosavuta kapena kopanda ululu kwa aliyense. N’chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi n’zotheka kuthetsa chibwenzi mwamtendere?”

Kunena zoona, kutha kwa maubwenzi kumadzetsa ululu ndi zopweteka pambuyo pake. Komabe, poganizira momwe mungafotokozere bwino izi kwa wokondedwa wanu ndikuyang'ana njira zabwino zofotokozera zakukhosi kwanu - kapena kusowa - mutha kupangitsa kuti ntchitoyi ikhale yosavuta kwa nonse. Ndipo mwina, ngakhale kupeza njira kukhala mabwenzi kamodzi inu anakonza zowawa ndi ululu.

Ngakhale simungathe kulamulira momwe mnzanuyo amachitira ndi chisankho chanu chothetsa zinthu ndi iye, mutha kuyesetsa kuthetsa chibwenzicho mwamtendere. Mwachidule, izi zikutanthauza kulankhula mokoma mtima, komanso kupewa makhalidwe monga kudzudzula , kutchula mayina oipa, kufuula, kudzudzula, kapena kunena zinthu zopweteka. Popeza mungakhale mukuvutika ndi chifundo ndipo chifundo sichingakhale chophweka mukamalankhula ndi munthu amene zochita zake mwina zinapangitsa kuti musiye chibwenzi, nazi malangizo 10 oti muthetse chibwenzi mwamtendere:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungathetse Bwanji Ubwenzi Ndi Mnyamata Mwabwino?

1. Kuti muthetse chibwenzi mwachisomo, chitani pamaso panu

Kodi mungalekanitse bwanji ubale mwamtendere? Kodi mungathetse bwanji ubale popanda kuvulaza wina? Chabwino, ngati pali upangiri umodzi womaliza ubale kuti izi zisakuvutitseni, ndi wakuti muyenera kuchita izi pamasom'pamaso. Palibe amene amafuna kuti uthenga wa imfa utumizidwe ku imelo yawo kapena ku positi. Sizikukhudza ngati mubwera ndi uthenga waulemu kwambiri wothetsa ubale, kuleka chifukwa cha uthenga sikofunikira komanso n’kopanda ulemu.

Kaya mukuthetsa chibwenzi chotalikirana ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kapena kukoka pulagi paubwenzi watsopano womwe sukumva bwino, muyenera kukumana ndi mnzanu pamaso panu, muyang'ane nawo m'maso, ndikudziwitsani kuti mukufuna kuthetsa. Eliza anati: “Kukambitsirana pamasom’pamaso ndi njira yabwino yodziŵitsa munthu wina kuti mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho.” Izi zimasonyeza kuti mumawaona kuti ndi ofunika ndipo mumaona kuti muli ndi ngongole yomufotokozera chifukwa chake mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho.

Kupanda kugwirizana pa zokambirana zapaintaneti kumapangitsa anthu kusunga malingaliro awo m'malo molankhula moona mtima. Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu ambiri amayamba kuchita zamizimu pazibwenzi zapaintaneti. Ngati mukufuna kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu, kukhala nawo paubwenzi wabwino, kapena osafuna kuti azikudani, muyenera kuwapatsa kutseka komwe akufunikira kuti achire ndikupita patsogolo.

2. Pewani malo opezeka anthu ambiri

Kudziwa nthawi ndi malo oti mukhale ndi 'nkhani' n'kofunika mofanana ndi kudziwa zomwe munganene muzokambirana zothetsa banja ngati sichoncho. Kaya mukuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kapena munthu wina amene amakukondanibe ngakhale kuti simungamve chimodzimodzi za iwo, maganizo ayenera kukwera kwambiri panthawiyi.

Nanga bwanji ngati mnzanu wakwiya ndipo mukuyamba kukangana kwambiri ? Nanga bwanji ngati ayamba kulira mosatonthozeka? Kapena kunena zinthu zopweteka mu mkwiyo? Ndicho chifukwa chake mukufunika malo omwe nonse mungathe kufotokoza maganizo anu popanda kuletsa kapena kudziona kuti ndinu ofooka chifukwa cha kuyang'ana kodabwitsa kwa owonera.

Eliza akulangiza kuti, “Peŵani kusiyana ndi munthu pagulu chifukwa zingamuchititse manyazi kapena kupangitsa kuti adzimve ngati sakufuna. Malo achinsinsi ndi abwino kwambiri kuti mukambirane.

3. Konzani zolankhula zanu zothetsa banja

Mukufuna kuthetsa zinthu mwaubwino? Kenako muyenera kukonzekera zimene mukufuna kunena kwa iwo. Kukambitsirana kwapang'onopang'ono sikuyenera kufanana ndi ulaliki wantchito ndipo simuyenera kuwerenga pamndandanda wosankhidwa. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, simungangonena kuti simuli mu izo ndikuchita nazo. Kumveka bwino ndikofunikira.

Komanso, pamene maganizo akuthamanga kwambiri ndipo mnzanuyo akuchonderera kwa inu kuti muwapatse mwayi wina, n’kwachibadwa kumva kuti mwathedwa nzeru ndipo simutha kufotokoza momveka bwino chifukwa chake mwafika pa chisankho chothetsa chibwenzicho. Kukonzekera pang'ono ndi kukonzekera kumakhala kothandiza nthawi ngati izi. Lembani mndandanda wa zochitika, zochitika, ndi malingaliro omwe mukufuna kufotokoza panthawi ya zokambirana.

Eliza anati, “Momwe mumanenera mawu anu panthawi yopatukana ndiye chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chimayang'anira zotsatira zake. Ndi bwino kuuza mnzanu zinthu zomwe sizinakuyendereni bwino kapena zomwe sizinakuvutitseni m'malo momuimba mlandu chifukwa cha momwe mukumvera.” Kudziwa zomwe zalakwika kudzakuthandizani nonse kuti muthetse vuto lanu ndipo mutha kupitiriza ndi moyo wanu popanda mkwiyo kapena mkwiyo.

4. Siyani malo ofotokozera zakukhosi kwawo

Mukasiya chibwenzi, mwasankha kale kuti ndicho chimene mukufuna kuchita. Koma sizingakhale choncho kwa mnzanuyo. Ngati sanaone kuti kutha kwa chibwenzi kukubwera , angamve ngati akusowa chochita. Kudzidzimutsa kwa zonsezi kungabweretse malingaliro ambiri. Onetsetsani kuti mwawamva. Kupatula apo, pali mbali ziwiri za kutha kwa chibwenzi chilichonse.

Kumbukirani, chifundo chimathandiza kwambiri kuthetsa ubale wabwino. Eliza anati: “Ganizirani chifukwa chimene munasudzulana ndi kukambitsirana moyenerera pamene mumalola mnzanuyo kunena zimene akukuuzani.” Zikuoneka kuti mnzanu amene mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenziyo sangafune kutero.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungathetse Bwanji Chibwenzi ndi Munthu Amene Amakukondani?

5. Gwiritsani ntchito chilankhulo cha 'I' kuti mutsirize zinthu momveka bwino

Sipayenera kukhala malo oti mulankhule mawu monga akuti “cholakwa chanu”, “Sindingakhulupirire…” kapena “khalani kutali ndi ine” ngati mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi mwanjira yabwino. Mawu odzudzula ndi mawu opweteka amangowonjezera vuto lomwe lingabuke. Ngakhale muli ndi ufulu wogawana chifukwa chenicheni chomwe mwasankha kusiya, muyenera kusamala ndi mawu omwe mwasankha. Nazi mawu ena omwe mungagwiritse ntchito kuti mupewe kusweka kosasangalatsa:

• "Ndikumva bwino kwambiri"
• "Ndikukhulupirira kuti simudzatengera izi mwa inu nokha"
• “Sindikhala bwino posachedwapa”
• "Sindikufunanso zinthu zofanana ndi iwe"

Ngakhale zili zomveka, komanso ndizofunikira, kuti mufotokoze zifukwa zanu zothetsera chibwenzi, pewani kufotokoza zambiri chifukwa zingathe kutsegula chitini cha mphutsi. Nonse mutha kukumba nkhani zam'mbuyomu, zomwe zitha kupangitsa kuti pakhale vuto lamasewera, ndikukupangitsani kuti mumve chisoni chifukwa cha vuto la ubale wanu.

6. Tchulani zokumbukira zabwino

Kodi ndi bwino kuthetsa chibwenzi mwamtendere? Inde, ndithudi, n'koyenera! Ndipo chifukwa chake ndi ichi: chibwenzi, ngakhale chitakhala kuti sichinakhalitse, chiyenera kuti chinakusangalatsani nthawi ina ndipo chinathandiza kuti mukule bwino. Kuti mukumbutse mnzanu kuti mupitiriza kuwakonda, bweretsani nthawi zabwino ndikumuuza momwe mudasangalalira kupanga zokumbukira naye. Ndicho chinsinsi chodziwira momwe mungatulukire chibwenzi popanda kupondereza mtima wa winayo.

Tchulani nthawi zomwe zinakupangitsani kuti musadzimve kukhala nokha kapena kukupatsani phunziro lofunika. Ndi zabwino zolekana amakhalidwe kuyesera kuti munthu winayo kumverera bwino, makamaka ngati iwo sanali kuyembekezera kuti kutha motere ndipo akubwerabe ndi mfundo zimenezi. Kulimbikitsa malingaliro awa a positivity muzokambirana zakutha kudzakuthandizani kuti mulumikizanenso kamodzi fumbi lakhazikika pakutha kwanu. Ndani akudziwa, mutha kupeza bwenzi lodalirika mwa wakale wanu!

7. Kambiranani nthawi yopuma musanakhalenso mabwenzi

Mukhoza kusintha kuchoka pa kukhala okondana kupita ku kukhala mabwenzi apamtima nthawi yomweyo. Mukufunika nthawi yopuma kuti muchiritse ululu, muchiritse maganizo, komanso kuti mukule ngati anthu paokha. Ndi bwino kutsatira lamulo loti musalankhulane ndikuvomerezana nthawi yomwe mukufuna kupewa. Zitha kukhala kuyambira milungu ingapo mpaka mwezi umodzi, miyezi 6, chaka chimodzi, kapena kuposerapo.

Inuyo ndi amene munakwatirana nayenso mungafunike nthawi kuti muyambenso kukhala pachibwenzi, ngakhale mutayesetsa kuthetsa chibwenzicho mwamtendere. Ikuti mwasala kuswaana mubukkale bwiindene-indene, citondezya kuti kuli cintu cimwi ncomuyanda. Kukhumudwa kobwera chifukwa cha kukumbukira kosasangalatsa kwa ubale wanu kumatha kuyambika ndikupangitsa zinthu kukhala zowawa ngati muyamba kuchita chibwenzi posachedwa.

8. Khalani womasuka kumva zolakwa zanu inunso

Palibe amene adanenapo kuti, "Tinathetsa ubale wathu mwamtendere", munthu m'modzi amangonena zolakwa za mnzake atakhala ndikumvetsera mndandanda wazochapira. Kumbukirani, zimatengera awiri kuti tango. Ngati chibwenzicho chakhala chikutsika kwakanthawi, mwayi ndi woti mnzanuyo azikhala ndi madandaulo awoawo okhudzana ndi gawo lanu.

Ngakhale zitakhala zolakwa zopanda vuto lililonse, chisankho chawo chowadzudzula chingakupwetekeni, makamaka pamene mukuyesera kuthetsa chibwenzi mwanjira yabwino. Ngati atchula zina mwa zofooka zanu, musadandaule kapena kudziteteza. Mvetserani mosamala ndipo pepani chifukwa chowakhumudwitsa . Pewani kufotokoza mwatsatanetsatane, chifukwa izi zingayambitse kukambirana mpaka kufika poyambitsa mlandu.

9. Athokozeni pa chilichonse

Momwe mungathetsere ubale wabwino? Sankhani kuyamikira pang'ono mu zokambirana zanu. Zoonadi, zinthu sizili bwino pakadali pano, ndipo inunso mungakhale mukupweteka monga momwe mukumvera, koma ndikutsimikiza kuti sizinali choncho nthawi zonse. Mutha kulunjika mbali zosiyanasiyana tsopano koma munthu uyu anali ndi tanthauzo lapadera kwa inu nthawi ina ndikulemeretsa moyo wanu. Chochitika chimenecho chidzakhalabe ndi inu nthawi zonse.

Njira yabwino yosiyira chibwenzi ndi kuwathokoza pa chilichonse chomwe akuchitirani. Kumuuza kuti zatha kapena kumuuza kuti mukufuna kupatukana sikuyenera kukhala nkhani yowawa kapena yodetsa. Imatha ndi kukhudza mofewa, kupsompsonana mokoma mtima , komanso kunena moona mtima kuti “Zikomo chifukwa chokhala m'moyo wanga.”

Komabe, onetsetsani kuti mawu anu othokoza sawapatsa chiyembekezo chabodza chakuyanjanitsidwa. Khalani aulemu, khalani owona mtima, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, khalani olimba pa chosankha chanu. Inde, sikophweka kuthetsa chibwenzi mokoma mtima, koma ngati munthu ameneyu ankatanthauza chinachake kwa inu, m’pofunika kuyesetsa kuti muwapulumutse ku dziko la zowawa m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.

10. Usakhale wozizira misozi yawo, koma usatengekenso

Mukasiyana ndi munthu, yembekezerani kuti akuvutika maganizo, ngakhale kugwetsa misozi. Izi zikachitika, simuyenera kukhumudwa ndi zomwe mwasankha kapena kukhala odzipatula kotero kuti musayese ngakhale pang'ono kuti amve bwino. Izi zitha kukhala zovuta kuti zichitike, ndipo anthu ambiri amatha kutengeka ndi kusokonezeka kwamalingaliro ndikuyamba kuganiziranso zomwe asankha kapena kuchita mozizira komanso motalikirana kotero kuti winayo amayamba kuwakwiyira.

Pofuna kukuthandizani kukonza bwino mbali imeneyi, Eliza akulangizani kuti: “Kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakhale chosankha mopupuluma kapena choganiziridwa bwino. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, munthu amene akukulandiraniyo angakhumudwe nazo kwambiri. N’kofunika kwambiri kuti munthu amene waganiza zothetsa chibwenzi aganizire chifukwa chimene wachitira zimenezi ndipo asatengeke ndi maganizo a mnzanuyo.”

Kuti muchepetse kuvulaza mnzanu, lolani kuti muwagwire ndikuwasamalira panthawiyo. Kukumbatirana mwachikondi kungapangitse kuti nthawiyo ikhale yopepuka. Ndi kukumbatirana kumeneku komwe adzakumbukira moyo wawo wonse ndipo pamapeto pake kudzawathandiza kuthana ndi malingaliro aliwonse oipa omwe angakhale nawo pa inu. Iyi ndi njira yabwino yopatukana mwamtendere, koma samalani ndipo samalani ndi malire anu. Simukufuna kuti zokambiranazi zithe ndi kugonana kosiyana.

Zoyenera Kunena Kuti Muthetse Ubale Pamigwirizano Yabwino?

Aliyense amene amati, “Mawu akhoza kukupangani kapena kukusokonezani”, ndithudi ankadziwa zomwe iwo anali kunena. Ngakhale zokambirana zachizoloŵezi zingasinthe ngati kusankha mawu sikuli koyenera. Pamene mukugwira mophiphiritsa mtima ndi moyo wa munthu wina m'manja mwanu, zimakhala zofunikira kwambiri kusankha mawu anu mosamala komanso momveka bwino. Kotero, ngati mukudzifunsabe, "Kodi mungathetse bwanji ubale wabwino?", mwinamwake izi zowonongeka pamizere yothetsa zingathandize:  

• "Ndakhumudwa ndi izi ngati iwe"
• “Ndikukhulupirira kuti mupeza chimwemwe”
• "Ndikuopa kuti sitili bwino kwa wina ndi mnzake"
• "Sindingathenso kuchita izi ndipo ukuyenereradi"
• "Mwatsoka izi sizomwe ndimaganiza kuti zikanakhala"
• "Ndimakukondani koma tikufuna zinthu zosiyanasiyana"
• "Ndikuthetsa ubale wamba chifukwa ndikufuna zambiri"
• "Ndikudziwa kuti sindingathe kunena chilichonse kuti ukhale wabwino pakali pano koma nthawi zonse ndikufunira zabwino"
• “Ndikukhulupirira kuti tsiku lina tidzacheza monga mabwenzi”
• "Zingawoneke ngati sizingawoneke pakali pano, koma mudzakhala ndi malo apadera mu May heart"
• "Ndikanakonda tikanapanga zinthu kuti zitheke koma sizinali zoyenera"

Mukauza mnzanuyo kuti mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho, kukambirana kungasinthe kwambiri. Kuyambira kukuchondererani kuti musinthe malingaliro anu mpaka kupsa mtima, zochita zawo zimatha kusintha mwachangu akamakumana ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Chofunikira kukumbukira ndikuti musatengeke ndi vuto lamalingaliro ili. Malingana ngati mukukumbukira zinthu zazing'onozi ndikuchita kuchokera kumalo achifundo, sizidzakhala zovuta kudziwa momwe mungathetsere ubale wabwino.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.