Amuna Atatha Kutha - Zinthu 11 Zomwe Simumadziwa

Tonse tidamvapo zonena za amuna akatha kutha, monga, “Mwina ali kumwa ndi anzake pompano”, “Palibe ululu uliwonse wa paini ya mowa umene sungathe kuchiza”, kapena “Adzangocheza ndi wina watsopano n’kupitirira”. Ngakhale zina mwa mawuwa nthawi zina zingawoneke ngati zoona, zoona zake n’zakuti kutha kwa anyamata pambuyo pake n’chifukwa chake amawoneka osasangalala kapena osatopa atangotha ​​kumene.

Ndipotu, anyamata amakumana ndi mavuto ambiri akatha kusudzulana, ndipo ambiri mwa iwo sadziwa kapena kuvomereza. Kafukufuku wosangalatsa akusonyeza kuti amuna amaona akazi awo akale bwino kuposa akazi. Izi mwina zabweretsa mafunso ambiri m'maganizo mwanu. Kodi amachita bwanji akatha kusudzulana? Kodi anyamata amayamba kukusowani liti akatha kusudzulana? Kodi amuna sanyoza akazi awo akale? Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kupeza mayankho ndikumvetsetsa khalidwe la amuna akatha kusudzulana.

Kodi Mnyamata Amakumana Ndi Chiyani Pambuyo Pakutha?

Tisanalankhule za momwe amuna amachitira chibwenzi chikatha, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zamaganizo a amuna pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi. Mosiyana ndi zomwe anthu ambiri amakhulupirira, magawo oyamba achisoni pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi pamene anyamata amakhala pachiwopsezo chachikulu. Ndi pamene amakayikira kufunika kwawo monga munthu ndipo amayesa kuthana ndi malingaliro awo osiyidwa ndi mkwiyo.

Momwe anyamata amakhalira atasweka zimatengeranso kukula kwa ubale womwe anali nawo. Amayang'ana kwa anzawo omwe amawakhulupirirabe, kuti awathandize kupitilira masiku angapo oyamba. Pambuyo pakutha, anyamata amafunafuna zochitika zambiri zomwe zimawalepheretsa kutha komanso kuwathandiza kuti azitha kudziwa zenizeni. Pokumbukira kuti iyi ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri kwa anyamata, tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa momwe amachitira ndi kutha.

Psychology Yachimuna Pambuyo Kutha

Mfundo yodziwika bwino ndi yakuti kutha kwa banja sikukhudza kwambiri amuna monga momwe amachitira akazi. Nthawi zambiri, lingaliro ili limachokera ku mfundo yakuti amuna amagwiritsidwa ntchito kuyika kunja kolimba. Mogwirizana ndi zimene zimafalitsidwa mofala, zakuti “amuna salira” . Komabe, lingaliro ili lingakhale lotalikirapo kuchokera ku chowonadi.

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Prashant Birmani anati, “Kusudzulana kumakhudza amuna kapena anyamata pamlingo wosiyanasiyana komanso m’njira zosiyanasiyana. Ngati mwamuna anali wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi chibwenzi kapena anali wokondana kwambiri ndi mnzake, akhoza kuvutika maganizo atatha kusudzulana .” Tiyeni tione njira zina zothanirana ndi mavuto zomwe amuna amapeza chitonthozo atatha kusudzulana:

1. Amuna amapondereza ululu wawo akatha kutha

Katswiri wa zaubwenzi Ridhi Golechha anati, “Kaya ndi amuna kapena akazi atasudzulana , onse amamva ululu kwambiri. Palibe njira yoti tinganene kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi amamva ululu kwambiri kuposa winayo. Koma kusiyana kokha kwa khalidwe la amuna atasudzulana ndi chizolowezi chawo chobisa malingaliro awo chifukwa cha chikhalidwe cha amuna oopsa. Akazi amalankhula za ululu wawo/kulira koma amuna amaganiza kuti kufooka ndi kufooka.

Anyamata akasudzulana pamapeto pake amapondereza ululu wawo wa m’maganizo, zomwe zimakulitsa kwambiri.

2. Zibwenzi zobwereranso

Kodi anyamata amachita bwanji akatha kusudzulana? Dr. Birmani akuti chizolowezi chimodzi chofala ndi kugwidwa muubwenzi wobwerezabwereza . Izi zitha kuonedwa ngati njira yochepetsera kunyada kwa anyamata akatha kusudzulana, makamaka ngati atasiyidwa. Ngakhale kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti amuna anali ndi mwayi wolowa muubwenzi wobwerezabwereza pambuyo pa kusudzulana chifukwa cha kuchepa kwa chithandizo cha anthu, kukondana kwambiri ndi wokondedwa wawo wakale, komanso kusonyeza chikondi cha Ludus (kapena kusewera masewera).

Amakonda kusuntha kuchoka kumtundu wina kupita ku wina. Ngakhale maubwenziwa atakhala osakhalitsa komanso opanda pake, amalumikizana bwino ndi psychology yachimuna pambuyo pakutha kufunafuna kutsimikizika kwamtundu wina. "Ndili bwino." "Ndingathebe kupeza atsikana ambiri momwe ndimakonda." "Ndinali iye, osati ine."

3. Makhalidwe odziwononga

Dr. Birmani akunenanso kuti si zachilendo kuti zikhoterero zodziwononga zimawonekera mwa anyamata pambuyo pa kutha. Ngati mwamunayo ali kale ndi zizoloŵezi zinazake zoloŵerera monga kumwa kapena kusuta fodya, zimenezi zingawonjezeke kaŵirikaŵiri.

Ridhi akunenanso kuti, “Amuna akatha kusudzulana amasonyeza zizindikiro za kudzikwiyira, mwachitsanzo, kusadzichitira nkhanza ndi makhalidwe odzivulaza monga kumwa mowa kwambiri, kusuta fodya kwambiri kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Amadzimiza okha mu zizolowezi chifukwa sadziwa momwe angamvere ululu kapena chochita nawo. Sanaphunzitsidwepo momwe angachitire. Makhalidwe odzivulaza awa amachedwetsa kuchira kwawo.”

4. Kubwezera

Pamene kunyada kwa anyamata pambuyo pa chisudzulo kwapweteka, kubwezera kumakhala mutu wamba. Dr. Birmani ananena kuti: “Amaona kuti mkazi wawo wakale wawasweka mtima n’kuwononga moyo wawo, choncho n’koyenera kuti alipirire ndalama zimene anawonongazo.” Zikatere, kuulutsa macheza, zithunzi, ndi mavidiyo pa Intaneti n’kofala kwambiri.” Kubwezera zolaula, kuvutitsidwa ndi asidi, ndi kuzembera zonse ndi zotsatira za gawo ili lamalingaliro aamuna atatha kupatukana.

5. Kudzikayikira

Ridhi akunena kuti, “Khalidwe la amuna akatha kusudzulana limasiyana, kutengera amene anayambitsa kusudzulana. Ngati ali pamavuto, ndiye kuti zimakhala nkhani yodziona ngati wopanda pake /wodziimba mlandu (m'malo moganizira zomwe zinalakwika muukwati) “Kodi sindinali woyenera?” kapena “Kodi iye anali woyenera kuposa ine?” ndi maganizo omwe amuna ambiri amaganizira kwambiri akatha kusudzulana.”

6. Kulephera kuchita zogonana

Dr. Birmani akuti kulephera kuchita zogonana kungagwirizane ndi maganizo a amuna omwe anali atasiya chibwenzi chawo. "Posachedwapa ndinali ndi wodwala yemwe anali pachibwenzi chodzipereka ndi mtsikana. Komabe, zinthu sizinayende bwino pakati pawo. Pambuyo pa kusudzulana, makolo ake adamukwatira mtsikana wina."

“Panali patatha zaka ziŵiri chikwatireni ndipo iye anali asanamalizebe unansi wake ndi mkazi wake.” Chotsatira chake chinali chakuti mkaziyo anachoka panyumba.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 11 Zomwe Zimachititsa Mwamuna Kubwerera Pambuyo Pakusudzulana

Amuna Atatha Kutha - Zinthu 11 Zomwe Simunadziwe

Pali malingaliro angapo a zinthu zomwe mnyamata amachita pambuyo pa kutha, zinthu zomwe takambiranazi. Koma zomwe tikubwera ndi zinthu zomwe mnyamata amachita nthawi zambiri akatha koma sitikudziwa. Tikukuuzani zinthu 11 zomwe mnyamata amachita atasiyana.

1. Khalani nokha

Uku ndiko kusintha kofala kwambiri pamakhalidwe a mnyamata pambuyo posiyana. Kufunika kukhala wekha ndikwamphamvu kwambiri kotero kuti kwapangitsa kuti anthu azifunsa funso, kodi anyamata amapwetekedwa atasiyana? Inde, anyamata amapweteka pambuyo pa kutha. Ndicho chifukwa chake anyamata ambiri amafuna kukhala okha atangosiyana. Zimawapatsa nthawi yokonzekera zomwe zangochitika kumene.

Pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi, mwamuna nthawi zambiri amafuna kusiyidwa yekha. Iyi ndi nthawi yomwe anyamata amagwiritsa ntchito podzifufuza. Amadzifunsa kuti sakanatha bwanji kutha kwa chibwenzi kapena ngati pali china chake chomwe akanatha kuchita kuti apewe kapena kukonza chibwenzicho. Iyi ndi nthawi yomwe anyamata amakumbukira chibwenzicho ndikudabwa ngati sanachionedwe ngati chinthu chosavuta. Amaganizira zifukwa zonse zomwe mnzawo adawapatsa kuti athetse chibwenzicho ndikuyesera kuwona ngati zili zoona.

2. Atathetsa banja, amuna amafunafuna anzawo

Uku ndi kusintha kwina kooneka bwino kwa khalidwe la mwamuna akatha chibwenzi. Akakhala yekha kwa kanthawi , amuna amafunafuna anzawo. Izi zimachitika pazifukwa ziwiri. Choyamba n'chakuti panthawi yonse ya chibwenzi, akadayenera kuchepetsa nthawi yomwe amakhala ndi anzawo. Choncho akatha chibwenzi, anyamata amayesa kugwirizananso ndi anzawo apamtima.

Chifukwa chachiwiri n’chakuti pa nthawi yovutayi, ayenera kumacheza ndi anthu amene amawakhulupirirabe. Kukhala ndi anthu omwe amawaganizira komanso omwe amawaganizira kumapereka chidziwitso cha chitetezo chomwe chingakhale chofunikira kwa mnyamata yemwe angamve kuti watayika komanso wosasunthika pambuyo pa kutha.

3. Sankhani chatsopano

Uku ndi kusintha komwe nthawi zambiri kumanyalanyazidwa ndi khalidwe la mnyamata akatha chibwenzi. Anyamata ambiri amasankha kuyamba chizolowezi chatsopano kuti agwiritse ntchito nthawi yawo yonse yaulere akachoka pachibwenzi m'malo mongodzivutitsa.

Zofala kwambiri ndi kuphunzira kuimba zida, kuphika, kapena kutenga masewera atsopano. Kusankha chizolowezi chatsopano ndi njira yothandiza kuti mwamuna achire pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi. Kuphunzira luso latsopano kumathandiza anyamata kuti azichita bwino ndipo ndi njira yosangalatsa yodutsa nthawi. Zikuwonetsanso anyamata kuti safunikira kukhala pachibwenzi kuti asangalale kapena kukhutitsidwa m'moyo.

4. Fufuzani maubwenzi atsopano

Pambuyo pa kusudzulana, anyamata amakonda kufunafuna maubwenzi ambiri achikondi a nthawi yochepa momwe angathere. Kulowa muubwenzi wobwereranso ndi njira yawo yothanirana ndi kutayika. Anthu ambiri anganene kuti izi zimachitika chifukwa cha kunyada kwa anyamata pambuyo pa kusudzulana. Ndi chikhulupiriro chofala kuti anyamata amafuna maubwenzi otere chifukwa amafuna kutsimikizira kuti akhoza kugonana nthawi iliyonse yomwe akufuna ndipo ndi kutayika kwa mnzawo chifukwa chosudzulana nawo. Komabe, izi si zoona.

Mnzake wa mnyamata akam’siya, amatanthauzira kuti akuuzidwa kuti, “Sindinu wondikwanira.” Izi zikhoza kukhala zopweteka kwambiri. Ubale wobwereranso ukhoza kukhala njira yawo yothanirana ndi zowawa, zowawa, ndi kunyada koonongeka atatayidwa.

5. Yesani kubwererana

Pamene mnyamata akuyandikira siteji ya bargaining ya chisoni pambuyo pa kutha, amakumana ndi chikhumbo champhamvu kuti abwererenso ndi wakale wake. Ngati munasudzulanapo ndi mnyamata, n’kutheka kuti munakumanapo ndi zimenezi. Mwa buluu, dzina lake likuwonekera pa foni yanu, mumanyamula ndipo akunena kuti akufuna kupatsanso chibwenzi mwayi wina. Papita nthawi kuchokera pamene awirinu munasiya. Inu mwinamwake mwamuposa kale. Ndipo inu simungakhoze kumvetsa chifukwa chimene iye akutchulirani inu tsopano.

Mwina mwadzifunsapo kuti, chifukwa chiyani kusweka kumagunda anyamata pambuyo pake? Ndiloleni ndiyankhe funso limenelo. Sizili choncho kwenikweni. Anyamata amamva kuwawa ndikupwetekanso chimodzimodzi, ngakhale samadzimvera chisoni. Ngakhale kukhala wosakwatiwa kuli ndi ubwino wake komanso kosangalatsa, anyamata amalakalakabe kukhala pachibwenzi. Amaphonya kukugwira dzanja pamene mukuyenda komanso momwe mumakwezera mawu mukakhala okondwa ndi chinthu china. Apa pali mfundo yomwe anthu ambiri samayiganizira. Anyamata amakonda kukhala mu maubwenzi. Ndipo ndichifukwa chake amayesa kubwereranso limodzi ndi akale awo.

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6. Usachite kalikonse

Ndi chinthu chachilendo pa maganizo a amuna pambuyo pa kusudzulana. Khalidwe la mwamuna pambuyo pa kusudzulana lingakhale lachilendo, koma ichi ndi chinthu chachilendo kwambiri. Nthawi zina, anyamata sachita chilichonse. Amangochita zinthu tsiku lonse osachitapo kanthu pa zomwe zikuchitika mozungulira iwo. Akhozabe kupitiriza ndi maudindo awo a tsiku ndi tsiku koma osapitirira pamenepo. Sangasangalale kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe amakonda, izi ndi zoona makamaka pambuyo pa kusudzulana. Ndipotu, kusudzulana kungakhudzenso moyo wawo wantchito panthawiyi.

Khalidwe limeneli likhoza kukhala lochititsa mantha chifukwa likhoza kusonyeza kuvutika maganizo pambuyo posiyana. Komabe, izi sizikhala choncho nthawi zonse. Nthawi zina, anyamata amabwerera m'chipolopolo kwa masiku angapo kapena masabata atasiyana chifukwa ali achisoni ndipo sangathe kugwira ntchito. Amangofunika nthawi kuti apumule ndikuzindikira kuti iwo ndi ndani.

7. Kupatula nthawi yochulukirapo ku maudindo awo

Iyi ndi njira yothanirana ndi mavuto yomwe amuna amagwiritsa ntchito kuti adziteteze kuti asagwere mu dzenje lakuda la kudzimvera chisoni atatha kusudzulana . Amuna akasudzulana amasonyeza kusintha kwa umunthu wawo. Amakhala odalirika komanso osachita zachiwerewere. Amawoneka otanganidwa kwambiri ndipo amataya nthawi yochepa. Kudzipereka kuntchito kapena kupereka nthawi kuzinthu zachikhalidwe kapena kusamalira okondedwa awo kumakhala njira yabwino yochepetsera ululu womwe umakhala mkati. Ngakhale kuti ndi yothandiza komanso yothandiza nthawi yochepa, iyi si njira yabwino kwambiri yogwiritsira ntchito atatha kusudzulana.

8. Fufuzani zochitika zatsopano

Patapita kanthawi pang'ono chilekanitso, anyamata amatopa m'maganizo mwawo. Panthawiyi, amamva kuti alibe mpumulo ndikuyesa kuyesa china chatsopano kuti adzikumbutse okha kuti pali dziko lonse lapansi lomwe silimakhudza wakale wawo. Panthawi imeneyi, anyamata amayesa kupita paulendo kapena kusintha machitidwe awo.

Apa ndi pamene amayesa kukulitsa malingaliro awo pokumana ndi anthu atsopano, kudzipereka pazochitika, kapena kulembetsa maphunziro atsopano. Zokumana nazo zomwe amafunafuna zimawathandiza kuti agwirizanenso ndi dziko lonse lapansi, monga pambuyo pa kutha kwa anyamata amatha kumva kuti atayika.

9. Funsani malo awo padziko lapansi

Atatha kupatukana, anyamata amadutsa nthawi yodzidzimutsa ndipo samakhala okoma mtima nthawi zonse. Amaganizira zolakwa zawo zonse ndikufunsa ngati akuyeneradi zonse zomwe ali nazo. Iwo amakayikira zolakwa zawo ndi ubwino wawo. Anyamata amapeza zambiri zokhudza iwo panthawiyi. Mafunso amenewa kukhalapo ndi mwambo wa ndime kwa amuna pambuyo kutha ndipo ambiri amatuluka mbali ina kwambiri ndi amene iwo ali.

Nthawi zimenezi zimawakakamiza anyamata kuti ayang'ane moyo wawo ndi zisankho zomwe adapanga zomwe zidawafikitsa pano. Izi zimawathandizanso kuganizira zomwe akufunadi muubwenzi ndipo amakumbukira zimenezo akayamba chibwenzi chatsopano.

10. Unikaninso maubwenzi omwe ali nawo

Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala kusintha kosazindikirika kwa amuna pambuyo pa kutha. Anyamata amalabadira maubwenzi awo ndi abwenzi ndi abale ndikuwunikanso maubwenzi awa potengera omwe ali ndi msana pa nthawi yovutayi. Angathe kuchotsa anthu omwe akuwona kuti alibe chidwi ndi iwo ndipo angaganizire kulimbitsa ubale wawo ndi anthu omwe ali ofunika kwambiri.

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11. Adzitukule okha

Kupyolera mu chisudzulo kungakhale kopweteka kwambiri kwa aliyense, ndipo amuna nawonso amachita chimodzimodzi. Kukanidwa m’chikondi kungawasiye kudzikayikira. Ngati kusudzulana kunali kosokoneza, kungawasiye akumva kusweka. Pambuyo podzimvera chisoni kwakanthawi, anyamata amasankha kuti kugudubuza ndi kudzidetsa sikungawafikitse kulikonse. Ndipamene amayesa kukonza zolakwa zawo ndikuyesetsa kuti akhale abwinoko.

Kusweka kumakhala kovuta kwa onse awiri. Ngati mukumva chisoni chifukwa cha chibwenzi pakali pano, apa pali malangizo kwa inu. Mukayamba kukondana ndi munthu, mumayamba kukhulupirira kuti mudzamva choncho mpaka kalekale. Mofananamo, mukathetsa chibwenzi, zimakupangitsani kumva ngati chisoni chanu chidzakhalapo mpaka kalekale. Koma, monga mwambi wachibuda umati, "Chilichonse nchosakhalitsa". Kotero, khalani pamenepo, izi nazonso zidzapita ...

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