Ndimadana ndi Ex Wanga: Zifukwa 13 Ndibwino Ndipo Malangizo Opitira Patsogolo

"Ndimadana ndi ex wanga!" - zowawa, zokhumudwitsa, ndi zowawa zomwe tonse takhala nazo kamodzi m'miyoyo yathu. Ndipo palibe cholakwika ndi kutengeka maganizo makamaka ngati kulekana kunali koipa. Tikumvetsa - Ex wanu anaswa mtima wanu. Iwo anasokoneza masomphenya amene munali nawo a tsogolo langwiro. Mwina nyumba. Ana awiri okongola ndi mphaka amene amagona moyo wake kutali. Kuyenda padziko lapansi mutapuma pantchito, ndikukalamba limodzi. 

Tsopano, kulosera kwanu kwamtsogolo kwaphwanyidwa chifukwa munthu m'modzi adasankha kudzikonda. Komabe, chidani, mkwiyo, ndi malingaliro oipa sizidzasintha zakale kapena kukuthandizani kupita patsogolo. Palibe vuto kudana ndi wakale wanu ndikusiya zakale mwaluso. Tiyeni tikambirane.

Kodi Ndi Bwino Kudana Nawo Ex Wanu?

Nat, namwino wa zaka 28 wa ku Michigan, anati: “Ndimadana nane chifukwa chonditaya.” Iye ankangondinyoza, kundivutitsa komanso kundichititsa kudziona kuti ndine wosafunika. pambuyo pa kutha, anapitirizabe kufalitsa mphekesera ndikuyesera kuwononga mbiri yanga. M'malo mwake ndimayenera kukhala amene ndinathetsa banja. Ndikumva chisoni kwambiri kuti chisoni sichindichoka posachedwa. Ndipo ndikutsimikiza kuti sindidzamukhululukira konse.”

Ngati mukukumana ndi malingaliro oyipa omwewo monga Nat, ndiye kuti ndizofala komanso zomveka. Mukupweteka, choncho mkwiyo wanu ndi wachibadwa. Palibe vuto kudana ndi ex wanu. Pamenepo, kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti maganizo oipa, kuphatikizapo chidani ndi mkwiyo, n’zofala pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja. Mkwiyo ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zimafala kwambiri pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi. 

Zifukwa 13 Ndibwino Kumverera "Ndimadana Ndi Ex Wanga"

Pakhoza kukhala zinthu zingapo zomwe adakuchitirani kuti zikupwetekeni zomwe pamapeto pake zidakhala chidani chachikulu kapena chinthu chimodzi chosavomerezeka chomwe adachita kuti athetse chidaliro chanu. Ngati simungathe kufotokoza chifukwa chenicheni chomwe mumadana ndi wakale wanu, pendani pansi ndikuyesa kupeza chomwe chingakhale: 

1. Kusakhulupirika ndi kutaya chikhulupiriro 

Ndikukumbukira ndikufuula "Ndimadana kwambiri ndi ex wanga!" pamene ndinazindikira anali kundinyenga. Zaka zingapo pambuyo pake, zimandikwiyitsabe. Ngati mukukumana ndi malingaliro oipa ofananawo, dziwani kuti palibe cholakwika ndi kukhala ndi chidani chochuluka kaamba ka iwo; chifukwa adaphwanya maziko a chikondi - TRUST. Maubwenzi amayamba ndi kutha ndi kukhulupirirana. 

Kumathandiza kukhulupirirana ndi kumvetsetsana, ndipo kumakupangitsani kufuna kudalira munthu ameneyo. Zimapanga kulumikizana komwe mukumva otetezeka nawo. Sizophweka kukhululukira ndi kuiwala pamene akusokoneza chikhulupiriro chanu mwa iwo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zoyipa kwambiri zomwe munthu angakumane nazo ndipo mwachiyembekezo, muthana nazo. Koma pakadali pano, ichi ndi chifukwa chomveka chosakonda wakale wanu.

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2. Kunyozedwa kumabweretsa maganizo oipa

Ubwenzi wabwino umamangidwa pa ulemu umene umayenda mbali zonse ziwiri. Mwina mungamadane ndi wakale wanuyo ngati nthawi zonse amakunyozeni ndikuyesera kukunyozani mseri ndi pamaso pa ena. Inu kudana wanu wakale ndi kulimbikitsa maganizo oipa amenewa n'zomveka kotheratu ngati zili choncho. Zina mwa zizindikiro zosalemekezana ndi izi:

• Osalemekeza malingaliro anu 
• Osafunsa malingaliro anu popanga zisankho 
• Nthawi zambiri amakudzudzulani ndi kukunyozani 
• Kukutengani inu mosasamala
• Kukufananizani ndi wakale wawo kapena munthu wina
• Osanyengerera konse
• Poona zolinga zawo, ntchito yawo, ndi maloto awo kukhala ofunika kwambiri kuposa anu 

3. Khalidwe lachipongwe la wakale wanu likhoza kukupangitsani kudana nawo

Nkhanza zikhoza kuchitika m’njira iliyonse: m’maganizo, m’thupi, m’zachuma, ndiponso mwamawu. Ngati chilichonse mwa zinthu izi chinachitika mu ubale wanu wakale, muyenera kuthokoza kuti mwatuluka mu gawo loyipa lotere. Mumadana ndi ex wanu muzochitika izi ndizomveka. Aliyense m’malo mwanu angachite chimodzimodzi. Simuyenera kudzikakamiza kuti muthe kuwagonjetsa, muyenera kudzisamalira nokha kwambiri. 

Pamene a Reddit Wogwiritsa ntchitoyo adagawana nkhani yake yodana ndi wakale wawo wankhanza, wogwiritsa ntchito adayankha, "Mkazi wanga wakale anali wankhanza kwambiri, ndipo zidanditengera nthawi yochititsa manyazi kuti ndimuthane naye. Ngakhale titakwatirana, amandigwiritsa ntchito ndikundisunga ngati wolumikizana naye kwinaku akunamizira kuti amandisamala. Dziyang'anire pagalasi. Dzikumbutseni kuti ndiye chilichonse chomwe chingakulepheretseni kumukhulupirira, ngakhale mutapanda kumukhulupirira. musamachite dzenje lomwe limakuchitirani ngati munthu wochepa kwambiri kuposa munthu wodzaza.

4. Kuwongolera ndi kuyatsa gasi

onse mawu a gaslight ndipo kusokoneza pang’onopang’ono kungawononge kudzidalira ndi kudzidalira kwa munthu. Mwa kukayikira mosalekeza malingaliro awo, malingaliro, ndi zokumana nazo, wozunzidwayo angayambe kukayikira malingaliro awo ndi kutaya chidaliro m'malingaliro awo. Kuphatikiza apo, mukamagwiritsa ntchito munthu nthawi zonse, mumasokoneza malingaliro ake odziyimira pawokha komanso odzipereka. Zingawapangitse kumva kuti akulamuliridwa, kukakamizidwa, kapena kusonkhezeredwa motsutsana ndi zilakolako zawo kapena zofuna zawo. 

Ngati mukufunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimadana kwambiri ndi ex wanga?" mwina ndi chifukwa chakuti amakuvutitsani kwambiri. Njira zonsezi ndi zochenjera komanso zanzeru chifukwa a) ochita zoipawo ndi ochenjera kwambiri ndipo amadziwa kubisala kawopsedwe kawo, b) ndiwe wakhungu m'chikondi moti umangoyang'ana mbali yawo yabwino kapena kumangowakhululukira. Pamene gawo laukwati lizimiririka ndipo pamapeto pake mukuwona chithunzi chawo chenicheni, chikhoza kukhala chifukwa china chodana ndi wanu wakale. 

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5. Kusayankha mlandu 

John, wazaka 32 wa ku New York, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zomangamanga wa ku New York, anati: “Ndimadana ndi wakale wangayo chifukwa chondibera komanso kuwononga nthawi yanga. 

Ngati mukukumana ndi malingaliro olakwika oterowo, muyenera kuvomereza kuti anthu oterowo nthawi zambiri amakhala ankhanza ndipo sadzayankhanso chifukwa cha zolakwa zawo. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, zili choncho chifukwa kutenga udindo kungawafunitse kulimbana ndi zophophonya zawo, zomwe zingakhale zowopseza kudzikonda kwawo. Ndi njira yodzitetezera kuti ateteze kudzikonda kwawo kosalimba. 

6. Kupanda kutseka 

Ndi chinthu chimodzi kupitiriza koma masewera a mpira osiyana kotheratu pitilizani popanda kutseka. Ndizomvetsa chisoni. Zikatero, kudana ndi wakale wanu sikumangokhalira kulimbana ndi vutoli komanso kumakupatsani mphamvu kuti mupitirizebe. Nthawi zonse dziwani kuti izi ndi zowawa zanthawi yayitali zomwe muyenera kuzikonza, popanda kuwononga thanzi lanu. Nazi njira zina zomwe mungayambire kudzisamalira:

• Mvetserani kuti kuthana ndi chisoni ndi kutsekedwa kumayamba ndi inu nokha. Kukambirana komaliza ndi wakale wanu sikusintha chilichonse
• Vomerezani kuti muyenera kuleza mtima ngati mukufuna kudutsa malingaliro oyipa awa kwa wakale wanu
• Osaimba mlandu ndikusunga maganizo oipa kwa inu nokha 
• Lembani meseji ya ex wanu koma osatumiza
• Yesani kuyang'ana pa zomwe muli nazo 

7. Adapita patsogolo mwachangu 

Kodi ex wanu wayamba kale kuchita zibwenzi? Kodi ayamba kutumiza zithunzi za bwenzi lawo latsopano pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti ndizochitika zomwe kudana ndi wakale wanu kumakhala kosavuta kwa anthu. Mkwiyo ndi chisoni ndizolungamitsidwa pano. Koma choyamba, inu mwakhumudwa ndi zimenezo ex anayenda mwachangu kwa inu kapena mukuchita nsanje kuti anasuntha inu musanathe? Mudzagonjetsa malingaliro olakwikawa ndi nthawi, ndi machiritso, pakumvetsetsa zomwe mukusowa, mwa chisoni. Kupeza bwenzi labwino ndi kugwirizananso ndi anzanu kungathandizenso. 

8. Kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama 

A Reddit wosuta amagawana nkhani yawo ya momwe adadyetsedwera ndalama ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake wakale, "Anayamba ndi kundibera ndalama. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, kundinyengerera kuti ndikhulupirire kuti ndataya. Kenako adagwiritsa ntchito "khadi langa langozi ladzidzidzi" amayi anga adalipira kuti adasiyidwa. Kenako adachotsa akaunti yanga yaku banki. Titakwatirana, ku akaunti yakubanki kunalibe.

“Pamene ndinkagwira ntchito, anandilanda malipiro anga, moti ndinasiya kugwira ntchito chifukwa zinali ndi phindu lanji? Chifukwa chomveka chodana ndi wakale wanu (ndi kumumanga), tinganene. Ngati mukugwirizana ndi nthano iyi, chisoni chanu ndi malingaliro anu achidani ndizomveka chifukwa zinali ndalama zomwe munazipeza movutikira ndipo wakale wanu analibe ufulu wokuchitirani nkhanza zachuma. 

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9. Malonjezo osweka amakupangitsani kukhala ndi malingaliro olakwika

Hollow akulonjeza kuti adzakhalabe wokhulupirika, sadzakupwetekani konse, osadzayambitsa zowawa ndi zachisoni, ndi kuyima nanu nthawi zonse pazovuta ndi zoonda. Mawu ngati "Ndidzakukondani nthawi zonse," "Tidzakumana ndi banja langa," ndi "Sindidzakuswani mtima" ndi malonjezo opanda pake omwe amasanduka zifukwa zodana ndi wanu wakale. Si kanthu koma zabodza zam'tsogolo.

M'munsimu muli njira zina zomwe mungathanirane ndi malonjezo osweka:

• Pewani kuyika ziyembekezo kwa iwo amene aphwanya malonjezo anu kale. Musadzipangire nokha zopweteka zambiri
• Dzifunseni chifukwa chake malonjezo amenewo anali ofunika kwa inu. Ndi bwino kudziwa zomwe mukufuna pa ubale wanu wamtsogolo
• Vomerezani kuti malonjezo amenewo sangakwaniritsidwe, komanso vomerezani kuti wakale wanu si munthu yekhayo amene angakwaniritse zosowazo.
• Lankhulani moona mtima ndi inu nokha ndipo yesetsani kuthetsa mkwiyo ndi malingaliro achinyengo

10. Kunyalanyaza mwamalingaliro 

Pamene mukonda wina ndipo amanyalanyaza wanu zosowa zam'maganizo, mudzapeza kuti mukudana nawo kalekale atasiya moyo wanu. Mofananamo, ngati wakale wanu sanatsimikizire zosoŵa zanu zamaganizo ndikupitirizabe kuzinyalanyaza, zingakhale zosatheka kuganiza za munthuyo mwachikondi. Zina mwa zizindikiro za kunyalanyaza maganizo ndi monga:

• Osatsimikizira malingaliro anu, malingaliro, ndi malingaliro anu 
• Kukuimbani mlandu pa chilichonse cholakwika m'moyo wawo
• Kukupangitsani kumva ngati simuyenera chikondi, nthawi, ndi mphamvu zawo
• Kukupatsani phewa lozizira 
• Kusakhalapo kwa inu pamene mukuzifuna 
• Kukuponya miyala mutakangana 

Ngati ena mwa makhalidwe amenewa analipo mu ubale wanu wakale, ndiye n'zoonekeratu chifukwa muli kwambiri chakukhosi ndi chifukwa inu sangathe kusiya kudana wanu wakale.

11. Kunyalanyaza malire 

onse mitundu ya malire ndizofunika kwambiri kuti ubale ukhalepo, kuphatikizapo zakuthupi, zogonana, zachuma, ndi maganizo. Ngati mnzanu wakale sanalemekeze malire anu, ndiye kuti ndi chifukwa chabwino chokhalira ndi chakukhosi komanso kudana ndi wakale wanu. 

Komanso, ngati akuwoloka malire anu ngakhale mutalemba lamulo loti musamagwirizane, muyenera kuwaitanira pa khalidwe lawo. Apo ayi, izi zidzakubweretserani mavuto ambiri ndikuyimitsa njira yopitira patsogolo kuchokera kwa wakale wanu. 

12. Kusagwirizana kwa mphamvu 

Kusagwirizana kwa mphamvu muubwenzi kumatanthauza kugawa kofanana kwa mphamvu, ulamuliro, kapena chikoka pakati pa okondedwa. Zimachitika pamene m'modzi ali ndi ulamuliro, mphamvu zopangira zisankho, kapena udindo kuposa mnzake. Kusalinganika uku mphamvu zamphamvu ikhoza kukhalapo m'mbali zosiyanasiyana zaubwenzi, kuphatikiza malingaliro, ndalama, chikhalidwe, ndi zochitika zakuthupi.

Wokondedwayo ali ndi mphamvu zambiri angapangitse winayo kudziona kuti ndi wopanda pake. Adzawapangitsa kumva kuti sanamvedwe komanso kukhala oponderezedwa kwambiri. Ngati munali paubwenzi woterowo pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale anali ndi dzanja lamphamvu ndipo amakupangitsani kudzimva ngati nzika yamba, ndicho chimodzi mwa zifukwa zodziŵika bwino zimene zimakukwiyirani ndi chifukwa chake simungaleke kudana ndi wakale wanu. 

13. Adakuwononga moyo wako wonse 

Chisoni chachikulu, zowawa, kudziona ngati wosafunika, nkhani zazikulu zodalirika, kusadzidalira, kudzimvera chisoni, kudzikayikira, nkhawa, katundu wamaganizo, ndi kupwetekedwa mtima ndi mphatso zochepa chabe zomwe munthu wakale amakupatsa akakusiya. Inde, mumadana ndi wanu wakale, ndipo moyenerera. Maganizo anu osokonezeka akuchoka pa misala yanu. 

Izi ndi zina mwazifukwa zomwe mungadane ndi wakale wanu. Zonsezi ndi zazikulu komanso zodalirika kuti zingayambitse bala lakuya lomwe lingathe kuchiritsidwa kokha ndi akatswiri. Mukangovomereza ndikuvomereza kuti mumadana ndi wakale wanu, muyenera kudziwa momwe mungachitire izi. 

Malangizo 6 Okuthandizani Kuti Mupite Patsogolo 

Zingakhale zovuta kusiya kudana ndi munthu amene munakwatirana naye kale. Komabe, ndikofunikira kuti moyo wanu ukhale wabwino komanso kukula kwanu kuti muthandizire kukhululukidwa ndikuchiritsidwa. Nazi zina zomwe mungachite kuti musiye kudana ndi wakale wanu:

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1. Osayesa kupondereza malingaliro anu olakwika

Mwakumana ndi zambiri. Kaya kunali kusakhulupirika, kusalemekezana, kapena nkhanza, mabala akuya sangachiritsidwe ngati muyesa kusunga malingaliro anu. Kupita patsogolo, muyenera kuvomereza malingaliro anu akukwiyira ndipo musadziimbe mlandu chifukwa cha kugwa kwa ubale wanu. Zirizonse zomwe mukumva, mutha kuzitulutsa popempha thandizo la akatswiri, polankhula ndi okondedwa anu, kapena kuzilemba m'magazini anu pafupipafupi.

2. Phunzirani pa zolakwa zanu 

Anthu amabwera m'moyo wanu pazifukwa, nyengo, kapena moyo wonse. Zochitika zitatu zonsezi zikuphunzitsani zambiri za moyo, umunthu, kukoma mtima, ndipo pamapeto pake, zidzakuthandizani kukhala munthu wabwino. Ndipo chirichonse chimene chinachitika chinali choti chichitike, chifukwa 'maktub.' Zonse zalembedwa. 

Chifukwa chake, tengani nthawi yosinkhasinkha za ubalewu ndikuzindikira machitidwe kapena maphunziro omwe mungaphunzire. Pamene mukupita patsogolo, muyenera kuphunzira pa zolakwa zanu zakale. Izi zingakuthandizeninso pa maubwenzi anu amtsogolo. Mutha kukhala bwenzi labwino poyang'ana zomwe mwapeza paubwenzi, ngakhale zitakhala zowawa. Kusinkhasinkha uku kungathandize kusintha malingaliro anu ndikukulitsa kukula kwanu.

3. Yesetsani kudzisamalira ndikumasula mphamvu zopanda pake

Yang'anani pazochitika zodzisamalira zomwe zimalimbikitsa thanzi lanu lamalingaliro ndi thupi monga:

• Kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani
• Kukhala ndi nthawi ndi okondedwa anu
• Kuika patsogolo thanzi lanu
• Kudya zakudya zopatsa thanzi
• Kulowa muzokonda zanu zomwe mumakonda
• Kukhala kutali ndi chikhalidwe TV ndi chimodzi mwa njira zodzikonda kachiwiri
• Kutsimikizira malingaliro anu komanso kuyang'ana malingaliro anu omwe amakukhumudwitsani ndikupangitsa chisoni chachikulu 
• Osafanizira moyo wanu ndi wa anthu ena

Kuonjezera apo, muyeneranso kumasula mphamvu zanu zowonongeka mwa kupeza njira zabwino zotulutsira malingalirowa. Chitani nawo zinthu monga kulemba, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kapena kuchita zinthu mwanzeru komanso kusinkhasinkha. Izi zitha kukuthandizani kuti muchepetse mfundo ndikulimbikitsa mtendere wamkati ndi malingaliro abwino.

4. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri 

Ngati mumadana ndi wakale wanu ndipo simukudziwa momwe mungagwirizane ndi malingaliro anu odana nawo, funsani anzanu, achibale, kapena sing'anga amene angakumvetsereni ndikukupatsani malangizo. Kulankhula za kukhumudwa kwanu, mkwiyo, kukhumudwa kwanu, ndi zochitika zoyipa zingakuthandizeni kukhala ndi malingaliro ndikuwongolera malingaliro anu. Muyenera kulandira chithandizo chonse panthawi ya machiritso. Ngati ndi chithandizo chomwe mukuyang'ana, Bonobology's gulu la akatswiri odziwa zachipatala ali pano kuti akutsogolereni munjira ndikujambula njira yochira. 

5. Muziganizira kwambiri za kukhululuka 

Kukhululuka ndi chida champhamvu pa nthawi ya machiritso momwe zimathandizira kupita patsogolo. Zindikirani kuti kukhululukidwa sikutanthauza kuvomereza kapena kuiwala zochita za wakale wanu, koma kumasula zolemetsa zamaganizo ndikudzimasula nokha ku mphamvu yoipa yokhudzana ndi chidani. Zingatenge nthawi, koma kuyesetsa kuti mukhululukidwe kungakhale komasula. Koma kumbukirani, si aliyense, ndipo si kalambulabwalo kupita patsogolo nkomwe.

6. Khazikitsani malire 

Khazikitsani malire omveka bwino ndi wakale wanu kuti mudziteteze komanso kuti musavulazidwenso. Izi zingaphatikizepo kuchepetsa kucheza, kuchotsa zikumbutso za ubale, kapena kupewa zochitika zomwe zingayambike. Malire adzakuthandizani kupanga malo a machiritso ndi kukula kwaumwini.

Timamvetsetsa kuti mumadana kwambiri ndi wakale wanu. Koma m’malo momangokhalira kumangokhalira kukhumudwa n’kumadzigwetsera m’mavuto katundu wamalingaliro, perekani mphamvu zanu kuzinthu zabwino. Dzikhazikitseni zolinga, fufuzani zokonda zatsopano, khazikitsani ndalama pakukula kwanu, ndipo yang'anani pakupanga moyo wokhutiritsa. Kusintha kumeneku kudzakuthandizani kupanga tsogolo labwino ndi inu momwemo.

Kumbukirani, njira yosiya ndi kupita patsogolo imatenga nthawi, ndipo ndi yapadera kwa munthu aliyense. Khalani oleza mtima ndi achifundo ndi inu nokha pamene mukuyendetsa njira yanu yochira. Chofunika kwambiri, yesetsani kukhululuka. Osati chifukwa amachifuna, koma chifukwa mukuyenera kukhala omasuka ku maunyolo anu aukali ndi mkwiyo. 

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.