Momwe Mungadzikonde Nokha Paubwenzi - Malangizo 21 Othandiza

Yerekezerani izi: muli pachibwenzi, mutu wapamwamba kwa wokondedwa wanu, ndipo zonse zikuwoneka ngati zolota. Koma pakati pa nthawi zachikondi-nkhunda, chinachake chimagwira ntchito yaikulu kuti moto ukhale woyaka - mlingo wathanzi wa kudzikonda. Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungadzikonde nokha muubwenzi, mwafika pamalo oyenera.

Mukuwona, kudzikonda kuli ngati chinthu chobisika chomwe chimatengera ubale wanu pamlingo wina watsopano. Sikuti kungoyang'ana kwambiri kulimbitsa thupi kapena kuchita zinthu zachiphamaso kuti mukondweretse nokha. Sizokhudza kukhala wodzikonda kapena wankhanza; ndi kukulitsa zosowa zanu, moyo wabwino, ndi chisangalalo, pamodzi ndi chikondi chomwe mumagawana ndi okondedwa anu. Mwa kukumbatira kudzikonda, mukudzipatsa mphamvu kuti mukhale munthu wodzikonda, zomwe zimakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino kunja ndikukulitsa ubale wanu.

Malangizo 21 Odzikonda Mukakhala Paubwenzi

Kafukufuku wa mu Personality and Individual Differences akuti, “Pali chikhulupiriro chodziwika bwino chakuti ‘anthu ayenera kudzikonda okha asanayambe kukonda wina.’ Mogwirizana ndi lingaliro lofunika ili, pali kafukufuku wosonyeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi kudzidalira kwambiri amanena kuti maubwenzi awo achikondi ndi abwino kwambiri kuposa anthu omwe ali ndi kudzidalira kochepa muubwenzi . Chifukwa chake, pali chithandizo china cha lingaliro lakuti anthu omwe amadzikonda okha akhoza kukhala ndi maubwenzi abwino kuposa omwe alibe malingaliro abwino okhudza iwo okha.”

Chochititsa chidwi, mu capitalism ndi pop chikhalidwe, kudzikonda nthawi zambiri kumatanthawuza kusamba kwamadzi, kuchiritsa ma spa, ndi kugulitsa malonda. Zowonadi, masitepewa atha kukupangitsani kumva bwino, koma sangalowe m'malo mwamtendere wamkati, kukhutira, komanso kulimba mtima kuti mukhale ndi moyo momwe mukufunira. Nawa maupangiri "enieni" omwe angakuphunzitseni momwe mungadzikonde nokha poyamba: 

1. Yambitsani kudzikonda nokha poyamba muubwenzi

Kodi mukuyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo akupulumutseni? Kodi mukuyembekezera kuti ubale wanu udzathetsa mavuto onse m'moyo wanu? M'malo modikirira wokondedwa wanu kuti akupulumutseni kapena kukupangitsani kumva bwino nthawi zonse, khalani ndi udindo wa chimwemwe chanu. Phunzirani kudzikonda tsiku ndi tsiku ndikuwona matsenga akuchitika. Ndipo pamene mukulamulira, khalani oleza mtima ndi inu nokha.

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2. Kutsanzikana ndi zikhulupiriro mozembera zochepetsa

Chabwino, tatsala pang'ono kulowa mumtima mwanu - dziko la zikhulupiriro zoletsa. Mukudziwa, malingaliro ovutitsa omwe amanong'oneza kuti, "Simuli oyenera chibwenzi chanu" kapena "Simuli woyenera chikondi ndi ubale wabwino ." Chabwino, ndi nthawi yoti muwalere anthu ovutitsa. Dziwani zolankhula zoipa zomwe mumadziuza nokha ndipo lolani zikhulupiriro zoletsa izi zichoke. Dzitsimikizireni nokha ngati nyenyezi ya rock!

3. Kulankhula pagalasi kungakuphunzitseni momwe mungadzikonde nokha muubwenzi 

Kalilore, kalilole pakhoma, ndani amene amakondedwa kwambiri mwa onsewo? Tengani galasi, yang'anani mozama m'maso mwanu, ndikubwereza, "Ndimadzikonda ndekha" kapena "Ndimakukondani." Zikumveka zopusa pang'ono? Mwina. Koma ndikhulupirireni, mchitidwe wosavutawu ukhoza kuchita zodabwitsa. Zili ngati kukhala ndi mtima ndi mtima ndi inu eni. Chifukwa chake pitirirani, lankhulani pagalasi ndikukhala momasuka ndi munthu wofunikira kwambiri m'moyo wanu - inu.

4. Landirani zolephera ndi kuwukanso 

Moyo ndi ulendo wovuta. Nthawi zina mumapunthwa, mumagwa, ndipo mumakumana ndi zolephera zabwino. Ndipo ilo ndi gawo la kukhala munthu. Zolephera, kusweka kwakale, kukanidwa kwachikondi - zonsezi ndi miyala yodutsa panjira ya chikondi ndi kuwala. Ndipo palibe chomwe chimasonyeza kuti ndinu wosakwanira kapena waulesi. Choncho, musalole kuti zosweka mtima zikugwetseni pansi. Nyamuka udzichotsere fumbi. Kumbukirani, ubale wabwino umachokera ku kuphunzira ndi kukula. Landirani ulendo, sitepe imodzi ndi imodzi.

5. Idyani ngati ngwazi yodzikonda

Mukudabwa momwe mungadzikonde nokha ndikukhala otsimikiza muubwenzi? Pankhani ya kudzikonda mu maubwenzi, ndi nthawi yochitira thupi lanu mokoma mtima komanso kudzisamalira. Choncho, mvetserani zomwe mumayika pa mbale yanu. Dzidyetseni ndi zokoma, zabwino zathanzi. Tsatirani malangizo awa: 

• Yesetsani kudumpha kudya kwambiri, mzanga. Koma ngati mwakhala mukudya zakudya zopanda thanzi zambiri posachedwapa, yesani kupeza chomwe chimayambitsa ndi kuthana ndi zosowa zanu zamaganizidwe.
• Yesetsani kudya zakudya zathanzi komanso zodzaza mbale mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanu. Mutha kumaliza tsikulo ndikupita ku paki ndikuzizira ndi kapu ya mandimu pamodzi
• Onetsani thupi lanu chikondi chenicheni mwa kulidyetsa chakudya ndi zakumwa zopatsa thanzi panthawi yake (inde, pewani kudumpha kudya). Ndikhulupirireni, mukamachitira bwino thupi lanu, lidzakuthokozani ndi kuwala kowala komanso kukulitsa kudzikonda kwanu.
• Osapereka malingaliro a fatphobic a miyezo ya kukongola. Ndinu wangwiro momwe mulili ndipo muyenera kudya chakudya chabwino tsiku lililonse

6. Dzisamalireni kwambiri mukakhala kuti mwathedwa nzeru

Ngati mukuyesera kuphunzira kudzikonda nokha muubwenzi ngakhale mutakhala ndi mkangano m'banja , zimenezo ndi zinthu zoyenera kuchita. Ma rom-com ambiri amalimbikitsa lingaliro lakuti chithandizo cha malonda chingakonze chilichonse, koma m'moyo weniweni, kusamalira mkhalidwe wanu wamaganizo panthawi yovuta ndikofunikira.

• Zinthu zikakuvutani ndi mnzanu, pumani mozama ndikudzichepetsera
• Osadziimba mlandu kumverera kutaika pang'ono m'moyo wanu wachikondi
• Tengani danga, tulukani pamenepo, sunthani thupilo, pitani kukayenda motsitsimula, ndikuwumitsa mpweya wabwino
• Osayiwala kulumikizana ndi anzanu kapena achibale omwe angakupatseni chikondi ndikukondwera paulendo wanu
• Ngati zonse zitalephera, dzipangireni kapu ya tiyi wobiriwira woziziritsa kukhosi ndikudzikumbutsani kuti izi nazonso zidzadutsa
• Mutha kufikirana ndi akatswiri azaubwenzi kuti muwongolere zinthu
• M'malo mokhala ndi kudzimva wopanda pake komwe kumakupangitsani kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa, kapena kungoyang'ana momwe thupi lanu limakhalira pambuyo pa mikangano, sambirani mozama ndikuwonetsa zinthu zonse zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa kapena wolemetsedwa.
• Ntchito yosavuta yomwe imakusangalatsani imatha kusintha masewerawa, mwachitsanzo, kuwerenga buku labwino
• Njira inanso yothanirana ndi izi ndikuwongolera nthawi - kukonza ntchito zanu zatsiku ndi tsiku ndikupatula nthawi yoyang'ana zomwe mukufuna.

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7. Kuthetsa maubwenzi oipa

Ngati ubale wanu umakhala wovuta nthawi zonse, kudzikonda kumakhala ulendo wovuta. Ngati mnzanu akukusiyani mukutopa komanso mukuvutika maganizo nthawi zonse, ndi nthawi yoti mutsazikane ndi chibwenzi chanu choopsa . Kumbukirani, muyenera kukhala pafupi ndi anthu omwe amakupangitsani kumva bwino.

Osayika ulemu wanu kapena kudziona kukhala wofunika pamalingaliro a mnzanu pa inu. Phunzirani kudzikonda nokha kuposa chibwenzi chanu kapena bwenzi lanu popanda kudalira kutsimikizika kwa wina aliyense. Landirani zapadera zanu ndikusiya chilichonse kapena aliyense amene sakuthandizani paulendo wanu wodzikonda.

8. Samalirani maganizo anu

Aa, maganizo - mdierekezi wamng'ono wovuta amene angakhale! Nthawi zina amakusokonezani, kukupangitsani kukhulupirira zoipa kwambiri zokhudza inuyo ndi mkhalidwe wanu. Kudzizindikira nokha ndikugwira ntchito yodzivomereza n'kofunika kwambiri chifukwa mumayeneradi kukhala osangalala. Kusamalira maganizo anu ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paulendo wanu wodzikonda, makamaka ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto aumwini kapena a paubwenzi . Nazi malangizo ochepa okuthandizani kusamalira maganizo anu amtengo wapatali:

• Khalani ndi nthawi yokhayokha mu chilengedwe
• Yesetsani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti muchepetse malingaliro othamangawo
• Yesetsani kuchitapo kanthu tsiku ndi tsiku kuti muzitha kudzisamalira nokha kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino komanso kuti mugwirizane ndi malingaliro anu
• Tengani nthawi yoganizira zinthu zabwino kapena ntchito yomwe imakupangitsani kuti mumve bwino za kudzikonda kwanu
• Dzikumbutseni za ntchito yanu yonse yolimba ndikutenga nthawi yopuma. Perekani malingaliro anu mpumulo womwe ukuyenera
• Khalani ndi nthawi yosangalala ndi zosangalatsa za maanja

9. Sinkhasinkha ndi kupuma

Kodi nthawi zonse mumakangana ndi mnzanu ? Kodi mumadzikayikira kufunika kwanu muukwati wanu, kapena zimakuvutani kudzikonda nokha kuposa chibwenzi chanu? Mukuyesera kuphunzira kudzikonda nokha muubwenzi 'ndi' zofooka zanu zonse, osanyalanyaza? Nayi yankho: Pangani kagawo kakang'ono ka kumwamba m'nyumba mwanu komwe mungasangalale ndi mphamvu za chilengedwe chonse.

Yatsani makandulo onunkhira, gwirani mabuku olimbikitsa, ndikusewera nyimbo zofewa zomwe zimalankhula ndi moyo wanu. Muzipereka mphindi zochepa tsiku lililonse kuti muzisinkhasinkha. Ndikhulupirireni, ndi njira yopindulitsa yodzikonda yomwe imabweretsa bata ndi mgwirizano pa ubale wanu ndi moyo wanu wonse.

10. Chokani pamalo anu otonthoza

Anthu ena amati, “Kudzikonda ndi chinsinsi choyamba cha chimwemwe.” Mukufuna kukulitsa kudzikonda kotere? Tengani zovuta zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva ngati ngwazi. Tulukani pamalo otonthozawo ndikugonjetsa zomwe mumachita mantha nthawi zonse. 

Simunayesepo masewera osangalatsa? Lowani paulendo wosangalatsa. Simukufuna kuphika? Valani epuloni imeneyo ndikuyang'ana kukhitchini ndi chisangalalo chatsopano. Kodi simukudziwa za kulemba ma code? Lembetsani maphunziro ndikuphunzira chinsinsi cha mapulogalamu. Ndipo ngati mukuona kuti ubale wanu wakupangitsani kukhala womasuka komanso waulesi, nthawi zonse mutha kupeza zosangalatsa zosangalatsa kwa okwatirana ndikuyesera ndi mnzanu kuti muwonjezere zinthu. Izi zikuthandizani kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi mnzanu komanso kukulitsa ulendo wanu wodzikonda.

11. Khazikani mtima pansi

Kudzikonda ndi ulendo wopitilira ndipo kumafuna kuleza mtima. Mwinamwake mwathera moyo wanu wonse mukulimbana ndi malingaliro odziona ngati opanda pake, kudumphadumpha zopinga, ndi kuyesera kukwaniritsa miyezo yosayenera ya anthu. Koma usade nkhawa, mzanga. Kudzikonda ndi ntchito yomwe ikuchitika. 

Chitani ngati chizolowezi chabwino kwambiri chochita masewera olimbitsa thupi - khalani odziletsa, ndipo khalani mtsogoleri wanu wolimbikitsa. Landirani mphamvu ya kuleza mtima ndipo lolani kudzikonda kuphuke kukhala chinthu chapadera. Chizolowezichi chidzakuthandizaninso kukhala oleza mtima muubwenzi wanu ndikulumikizana ndi mnzanu pamlingo wozama.

12. Chitirani ena zabwino

Ndikofunikira kuunika momwe mumadzichitira nokha komanso mnzanu muubwenzi wanu. Choncho tsatirani lamulo la golide - chitirani ena momwe mukufuna kuti akuchitireni. Koma apa pali kupotoza kwake: kuchitira ena zabwino sikutanthauza kuti umadzinyalanyaza. Ndizokhudza kupeza bwino zamatsenga. Mukadziwa kudzikonda nokha muubwenzi, mwachibadwa mumawonetsa kukoma mtima ndi chifundo kwa abambo anu ndi ena. Choncho, falitsani ma vibes abwinowo ndikukhala chitsanzo chowala cha chikondi ndi ulemu. 

13. Nenani “ayi” pakafunika kutero

“Ayi” – mawu amphamvu omwe angathetse ubale woipa, ntchito zonyowa moyo, komanso kusokoneza ubale ndi okondedwa osaganizira ena, achibale, ndi abwenzi. Musakhale munthu wokonda kusangalatsa anthu kwambiri amene amaona kuti zinthu sizikuyenda bwino ndipo amaiwala zosowa zawo muubwenzi . Yesetsani kunena kuti ayi.

Sizikupanga kukhala bwenzi loyipa - zimakupangitsani kukhala ngwazi yodzikonda yemwe amadziwa kufunika kwake. Kunena kuti “ayi” kwa okondedwa wanu ndi ena pakafunika kutero kungapangitse kuti ubwenzi ndi kulankhulana zikhale zosavuta komanso kuthetsa mavuto ambiri.

14. Khazikitsani ndi kulankhulana malire

Kudzikonda nokha poyamba muubwenzi kumatanthauza kulemekeza zosowa zanu ndi malire anu. Lankhulani momveka bwino malire anu kwa wokondedwa wanu ndikuwonetsetsa kuti akulemekezedwa. Izi zitha kuphatikizira kukambirana za malo anu enieni, nthawi yomwe muli nokha, zosowa zamaganizidwe, kapena china chilichonse chomwe chili chofunikira kwa inu. Kumbukirani, kudziikira malire ndi chizindikiro cha kudzilemekeza, ndipo kumalimbitsa ubwenzi wanu mwa kukulitsa kumvetsetsana ndi kulemekezana.

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15. Yang'anani pa zosangalatsa zanu ndi zofuna zanu zogonana

Kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana ndi chisangalalo ndi zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa kudzikonda muubwenzi. Lankhulani momasuka komanso moona mtima ndi mnzanu za zokhumba zanu, maloto anu, ndi malire anu. Fufuzani zokumana nazo zatsopano, yesani mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya ubwenzi , ndipo perekani patsogolo ubwino wanu wogonana. Kumbukirani, chisangalalo chanu ndi chofunika ndipo kufotokoza zosowa zanu m'chipinda chogona ndi kudzikonda nokha ndi chikhulupiriro mwa mnzanuyo.

16. Chiritsani mwana wanu wamkati

Perekani mwana wanu wamkati kukumbatira chimbalangondo. Kukumbatira kudzikonda kumatanthauza kusamalira mabala akale ndikubwezeretsanso chimwemwe ndi thanzi. Pochiritsa mwana wanu wamkati, mumapanga maziko olimba a kudzikonda komwe kumakhudza ubale wanu. Imatsegulira njira yolumikizana mwakuya komanso watanthauzo ndi dziko lonse lapansi.

17. Yang'anani pa zolembera zoyamikira

Tengani kamphindi kuti muyamikire zinthu zonse zodabwitsa pamoyo wanu. Sinthani kuyang'ana kwanu kuchoka pa zomwe mukusowa kupita ku zochuluka zomwe zikuzungulirani. Tengani magaziniyi ndikutulutsa mphamvu zanu zoyamika! Lembani zinthu khumi zomwe mumayamikira tsiku lililonse. Werengani ndi kuwawerenganso, ndipo lolani mphamvu zabwino zikusambitseni. Mukamagwira ntchito kuchokera pamalo othokoza, chilengedwe chimakupatsirani madalitso ochulukirapo.

18. Osafanizira

Kodi mumadziyerekeza ndi akale a mnzanu kapena wina aliyense? Mukakhala ndi nsanje muubwenzi , yesani kuyeza zomwe zimakupwetekani mkati, zomwe mukufunadi, ndi zomwe zikufunika kuchiritsidwa. Kudzikonda kumatanthauza kudzivomereza nokha momwe mulili, zofooka ndi zonse. Siyani kufunikira kodziyerekeza ndi ena. Kumbukirani, mukulemba nkhani yanu yapadera, osati kuyesa kulowa mu nkhani ya wina. Choncho lembani kabuku kameneka koyerekeza, landirani kupadera kwanu, ndikulimbikitsa ulendo wanu wodzikonda ndi chidaliro.

19. Yankhulani mokoma mtima

Tangoganizani kukhala ndi wochemerera yemwe nthawi zonse amakukwezani ndi mawu achikondi ndi olimbikitsa. Chabwino, taganizani chiyani? Mutha kukhala cheerleader wanu. Mukayang'ana pagalasi, sangalalani ndi zomwe muli nazo ndikudziwonetsera nokha ndi mawu abwino. Dzichitireni nokha ndi kukoma mtima komweko ndi chifundo chomwe mungasonyezere bwenzi lanu lapamtima kapena mnzanu wapamtima. Kumbukirani, momwe mumayankhulira nokha ndizomwe zimatengera momwe ena amakuchitirani. Chifukwa chake, khalani nokha BFF ndikudzilankhula nokha poyamba.

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20. Pangani maubwenzi kunja kwa chibwenzi

Ngakhale kuti ubale wanu wachikondi ndi wofunikira, ndikofunikanso kusunga maubwenzi ndi mabwenzi kunja kwake. Kukulitsa maubwenzi ndi anzanu kumakupatsani mwayi woti mukhale ndi chithandizo komanso kudzimva kuti ndinu munthu payekha kuposa ubale wanu wachikondi. Kupatula nthawi ndi anzanu omwe amakulimbikitsani ndikukulimbikitsani kungakulitse kudzidalira kwanu ndikuwonjezera chisangalalo chanu chonse. Kuphatikiza apo, kukhala ndi mayanjano osiyanasiyana kumapereka malingaliro ndi zokumana nazo zosiyanasiyana zomwe zimakulitsa kukula kwanu ndikukuthandizani kudzikonda kwambiri.

21. Yesetsani kutsimikizira zabwino

Mukufuna kuchotsa malingaliro oipa ndi malingaliro oipa? Kuvomereza chikondi kungakhale kopindulitsa kwambiri pazochitika zotere. Pitirizani kudziuza nokha - ndine wokwanira, kapena ndine wokwanira. Dziuzeni izi mpaka zitasindikizidwa mu chikumbumtima chanu. Pali makadi angapo otsimikizira omwe alipo pamsika, ndipo mutha kuwayesa koyamba m'mawa uliwonse. Imvani mawuwo pamene mukuwanena mokweza, ndipo onani momwe akusinthirani bwino inu ndi ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu.

Mphamvu yodzikonda nokha ili mkati mwanu, kuyembekezera kumasulidwa. Pamene mukuyamba ulendo wodzipeza nokha ndi kudzikonda nokha, konzekerani masinthidwe ngati palibe wina. Landirani ubale womwe mukumanga ndi inu nokha ndikuwona momwe umawonekera m'mbali zonse za moyo wanu, kuphatikiza ubale wanu wachikondi. Kudzikonda kwanu kwatsopano kudzakhala mphamvu yomwe imakweza moyo wanu wachikondi mpaka pamwamba kwambiri. Ndipo kumbukirani china chake paulendo wodabwitsawu - mwapeza izi!

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