Ngakhale kuti anthu akhala akukonda kutengeka ngati munthu wofuna kukondedwa kwa nthawi yaitali, koma zoona zake n'zakuti kuthamangitsa anthu sikumakhala kosangalatsa. Makamaka, pamene mulibe chidwi ndi chibwenzi. Zifukwa zomwe simukufuna kuti mupite patsogolo zingasiyane.
Mwina, simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi pambuyo pa kutha kapena kungokhala pamalo omwe mungafune kuyang'ana kwambiri ntchito yanu popanda zododometsa za mgwirizano wachikondi. Kapena mwina mumangokopeka ndi munthu winayo kuti mufune kukhala naye pachibwenzi.
Kaya zifukwa zanu zili zotani, kuuza munthu kuti simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi nthawi zonse kumakhala kovuta. Mungafune kufotokoza cholinga chanu momveka bwino momwe mungathere popanda kupondaponda ndi mtima wawo wonse. Osadandaula, mutha kuyichotsa ndikulingalira ndikusankha bwino mawu. Tabwera kukuthandizani kuti muchite zimenezo.
Njira 13 Zouza Munthu Wina Kuti Simukufuna Chibwenzi
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ngati mwakhala mukusiyana ndi maganizo akuti 'sindikufuna chibwenzi pakali pano', mukudziwa momwe kukanidwa kungapwetekere . Ngakhale mutakhala kuti simunalumikizane ndi munthu winayo kapena mwangopita ku ma deti angapo, kumva kuti wina sakukukondani mokwanira kuti muganize zoyamba chibwenzi kungakhale kokhumudwitsa.
Pamene mukukonzekera kupita kukauza munthu amene mukufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi, kumbukirani kuti kung'amba gulu-thandizo sikungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri pankhaniyi. Malingana ngati mukuchita kuchokera kumalo achifundo, mumadziwa njira yoyenera yothanirana ndi vutoli komanso losasangalatsa lomwe mwakhalamo.
Pofuna kukutsogolerani panjira, nazi njira 13 zofotokozera munthu amene simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi:
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1. Yankhani funso la 'chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi'
Musanayambe kulengeza kuti simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi, khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira zifukwa zake. Yankhani funso la 'chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi' ndipo khalani oona mtima nokha. Kodi mwakhala ndi zokumana nazo zoyipa zokwanira pachibwenzi kuti muchotse malingaliro onse? Kapena zifukwa zanu ndizokhudza munthu?
Kodi simukuwakonda? Kodi mwaonapo zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti chibwenzi chanu chidzatha moyipa?
Kodi simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi pambuyo pa kutha chifukwa mukuyamwitsa mtima wosweka? Kodi mumakopeka ndi munthuyo koma simukufunabe kukhala naye pachibwenzi chifukwa mukudziwa kuti si abwino kwa inu? Kaya chifukwa chanu chingakhale chotani chopanda chidwi ndi zibwenzi zachikondi, muyenera kudziyang'anira nokha kaye kapena mutha kuwakhumudwitsa osazindikira.
Dziwitsani pang'ono ndikumvetsetsa zifukwa zanu zokanira wina. Izi zikuthandizani kuti muwafotokozere zomwe mwasankha m'njira yovuta. Pamene mudzakhumudwitsa munthu winayo, pokhala woona mtima ndi woona mtima kwa iye, mukhoza kuchepetsa kugunda kwake ndi kusaononga kudzidalira kwawo kotheratu.
2. Auzeni kuti mumayamikira malingaliro awo
Kuti muchepetse ululu womwe mwasankha woti simukufuna chibwenzi ndi munthu wina, yambitsani ndi kuyamikira momwe akumvera. Simukuyenera kukonzekera mawu oti 'zikomo' chifukwa cha chidwi chawo pa inu. Zimenezi zingawapangitse kumva ngati mukuwakwiyitsa kwambiri ndipo zingawakwiyitse kwambiri. Mawu ochepa chabe okoma mtima ndi okwanira kuchepetsa ululu womwe kukanidwa kumeneku kungawabweretsere.
Chinachake choyera komanso chosavuta monga 'Ndimayamikira momwe mukumvera' kutsatiridwa ndi mawu omveka bwino akuti 'Sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi pakali pano' ndi zabwino mokwanira. Nthawi yomweyo, muyenera kupewa mawu ngati: 'Zikanakhala kuti zinthu zinali zosiyana, ndikadakonda kukhala nanu pachibwenzi'. Izi zitha kuwapatsa chiyembekezo chosafunikira kuti mutha kusintha chisankho chanu nthawi ina.
Felix anali akuyenda ndi Olivia kwa milungu ingapo koma posakhalitsa chidwi chake mwa iye chinayamba kuchepa. Komabe, Olivia sanamvepo kanthu ndipo ankangokhalira kumulembera mameseji ndikuyesera kupanga mapulani. Felix ankadziwa kuti sangamulole kapena kungomukankha. Choncho anamutengera ku khofi ndipo ananena mokoma mtima kuti, "Olivia, ndili ndi mwayi kuti ndinakumana ndi munthu wosamala komanso wokondeka ngati iwe. Koma panopa sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi". Zinatenga nthawi kuti akonze koma anayamikira kuti Felix analidi naye.
3. Fotokozani kuti 'N'chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna kukhala ndi chibwenzi'
Ngakhale kuti simuyenera kudzifotokozera nokha kwa wina pamene mukukana kuvomereza kwawo, ndi chinthu chokoma mtima kuchita. Makamaka, ngati mwakhala pamasiku ochepa ndi munthu uyu kapena kugawana nawo nthawi yayitali kapena kucheza nawo. Kodi ndi bwino kusakhala ndi chidwi chokhala pachibwenzi ngakhale patatha masiku 7 kapena kupitilira apo? Zedi. Zomwe timamva zimakhala zamphamvu ndipo cholinga chonse chokhala pachibwenzi ndikufufuza munthu winayo ndikuwona ngati ali wanu.
Ngati mukungotenga nthawi yocheza, auzeni kuti 'Sindikufunanso zibwenzi pakali pano'. Kapena ngati mulibe chidwi ndi iwo makamaka, musazengereze kunena kuti 'Sindikumva choncho za inu'. Zikumveka zaukali, tikudziwa, koma ndikwabwino kuposa kupatsa munthu chiyembekezo kuti amamatire.
Zitha kuluma pakadali pano koma zimapatsa munthu winayo momveka bwino kuti palibe mwayi woti chilichonse chichitike pakati panu awiri ndipo ndibwino kuti angopitirira.
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4. Sankhani momwe mukufuna kutaya nyemba
Momwemo, kudziwitsa wina kuti simukufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi kumafunikira kukambirana maso ndi maso. Iyi ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yochitira izo. Koma ngati ndinu munthu amene amamangika lilime pazovuta zotere, mutha kutero nthawi zonse pamawu. Izi zidzakuthandizani kusonkhanitsa malingaliro anu ndi kuwafotokoza m'njira yoyenera.
Zikatero, ndi bwino kunena kuti ndinu omasuka kukumana ndi kukambirana za izo, makamaka ngati munthu amene mukukanayo ndi munthu amene mumamukonda.
5. Pewani mizukwa
Ngakhale zitavuta bwanji kupita kwa munthu n’kumuuza kuti, ‘Sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi panopa’, mukudziwa kuti n’koyenera kuchita. Kaya mwakhala mukuyenda nawo pang'ono kapena ndi munthu yemwe wakhala akukutsatirani, muyenera kuyankha momveka bwino chifukwa cha ulemu.
Choncho, musachite mantha ndi kutenga njira yosavuta yongomunyoza munthuyo . Tikudziwa kuti padziko lapansi pa intaneti, kwakhala kosavuta kunyalanyaza anthu ndikuwadula koma osawaswa mtima motero. Kusadziwa chomwe chalakwika kungakhale kofooketsa kwambiri kuposa kukana.
Archie atazunzika Kayla atatha kutumizirana mameseji uku ndi uku kwa miyezi itatu, Kayla adasweka mtima. Ngakhale anali asanakumanepo ndi Archie pamasom'pamaso, awiriwa adakhala nthawi yayitali pa intaneti kapena kulankhula pafoni. Sanadziwe chifukwa chomwe Archie adazimiririka pa iye ndipo zidamutengera miyezi ingapo kuti aiwale za iye chifukwa nthawi zonse amadabwitsidwa ndi zomwe zidalakwika. Amalumbira kuti Archie akadamuuza zomwe zidachitika, akadachita bwino.
6. Osadzilungamitsa
Ngati simuli pabanja koma simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi, munthu winayo angayese kugwiritsa ntchito momwe mulili paubwenzi wanu kuti akukakamizeni kuti muganizirenso za chisankho chanu. Kapena angaganize kuti mukungoyesetsa kuchita zinthu mwakhama kuti akuthandizeni.
Zitha kukhala zovuta pamene mukuyesera kumuuza munthuyo kuti simukufuna koma sakuvomera kusiya ndipo akulimbikira mochititsa mantha. Zikatero, muyenera kulimbikira koma osaona kufunika kodzilungamitsa kwa iwo. Palibe chifukwa muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu simuli chidwi ndi choncho musalole kuti inu kumverera mosiyana.
Ndi moyo wanu, ndipo inu nokha mungasankhe ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi chibwenzi kapena ayi. Musakakamizidwe kutsimikizira munthuyo kuti chisankhocho ndi choyenera kwa inu. Mumadziwa yankho la 'chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi', mwalankhula momveka bwino kwa munthu winayo. Mapeto a nkhani.
Kaya akugwirizana ndi chisankho chanu kapena ayi, si nkhawa yanu. Ingochitani zomwe mungathe kuti muwathetse mwachifundo kwambiri kuti mulibe chidwi ndi maubwenzi achikondi ndikuchokapo.
7. Osapepesa
Kaya simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi mutathetsa chibwenzi kapena kungofuna kutenga nthawi yoganizira za inu nokha, simuyenera kupepesa chifukwa cha zomwe mwasankha pa moyo wanu. Kaya zinthu zili bwanji, simuyenera kudzifunsa nokha kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna aliyense?”
Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa miliyoni kuti ndi nthawi yolakwika kapena ubale wolakwika kwa inu. Koma simuyenera kudziimba mlandu kwambiri. Inde, mudzakhumudwitsa munthu winayo mukakana zomwe achita. Koma moyo ndi umenewo.
Si vuto lanu kuti amakopeka ndi inu ndipo simumva chimodzimodzi za iwo. Choncho, mulibe chopepesera. Ngati mutatero, mungawapatse mpata wodziimba mlandu-kuchititsani kuganiziranso zisankho zanu.
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene simukumufuna chifukwa amakupangitsani kumva ngati muli ndi udindo ndi chinthu chomaliza chomwe mungafune mukakhala m'maganizo a 'Sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi pakali pano'.
8. Gwiritsani ntchito njira ya sangweji
Kodi mukuyang'ana momwe mungawuzire munthu wina yemwe simukumukonda zitsanzo? Njirayi ndiyofunika kuiwombera. Njira ya sangweji - pomwe mumafinya cholakwika pakati pa zabwino ziwiri - ikhoza kukhala njira yabwino yochepetsera kupweteka komwe mungakumane nako mukalengeza kuti simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi.
Mukamakambirana nawo zimenezi, kambiranani ndi munthuyo zinthu zabwino zokhudza munthuyo kapena mmene amakumverani. Kenako afotokozereni cholinga chanu chopewa kucheza nawo. Ndipo kutseka ndi mawu ena okoma mtima. Tiye tikuuzeni mmene mungachitire.
Mickey wakhala akulingalira zomutaya Trevor kwakanthawi koma samadziwa kuti achite bwanji chifukwa Trevor anali wokhudzidwa kwambiri ndipo Mickey sanafune kunena zinthu zolakwika. Kotero izi ndi zomwe anapita nazo. “Trevor, ndiwe mnyamata wokoma mtima kwambiri amene ndinapitako ndi chibwenzi, koma sindikutsimikiza kuti ndikufuna kukhala ndi chibwenzi pakalipano.
Izi zidzawathandiza kuti atenge chisankho chanu mumzimu woyenera komanso kuti asamve ngati akunyozedwa kapena kunyozeka.
9. Muzilemekeza munthuyo
Kudziwa kuti winawake wakupemphani kuti mupite naye kapena wasonyeza chidwi chofuna chibwenzi kukusonyeza kuti muyenera kuti munali naye paubwenzi winawake. Ngakhale kuti, kuchokera kumbali yanu, simunali ndi chilakolako chachikondi. Pofuna kukuthandizani, lemekezani munthuyo mukamuuza kuti simukufuna kukhala naye paubwenzi.
Pokhapokha ngati achita chinachake chokhumudwitsa kapena kukunyozani, musaunjike nkhani ndi mndandanda wa zolakwika zawo zomwe zimakulepheretsani kukhala pachibwenzi. Simukufuna kuyambitsa udani pakati pa inu awiri. Ingoyesetsani kukhala osamala ndi mawu anu momwe mungathere ndi kuwasiya mophweka.
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10. Yesani njira ya 'si inu, ndi ine'
Kodi zifukwa zomwe zapangitsa chisankho chanu sichokhudza munthu? Kodi zimachokera ku kutsimikiza kuti 'sindikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi panopa'? Njira yomwe yayesedwa nthawi yayitali kuti 'si inu, ndi ine' ikhoza kukhala kubetcha kwanu kuti musapweteke munthu winayo. Ngati simukuwadziwa bwino, mutha kusiya zodziwika bwino.
Ngati mumagawana nawo maulalo kapena mwakhala nawo masiku angapo, mutha kutsata ndikufotokozera mwachidule, kulongosola za 'chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna aliyense'.
11. Osatumiza zizindikiro zosakanikirana
Mukangoganiza kuti simukufuna kutsogola ndi munthu, muyenera kuima nji pachosankhacho. Osawakana tsiku limodzi kenako ndikuyamba kuwatumizira mameseji pakati pausiku tsiku lotsatira.
Zizindikiro zosakanikirana zotere zimangosokoneza munthuyo ndikupangitsa kuti pakhale kusiyana pakati pa inu ndi iye. Mukalankhula naye ngakhale mutakana, munthu winayo angaone ngati chizindikiro chakuti simukudziwa bwino zomwe mukufuna. Sizingakhale zolakwika kuti aganize kuti angakugonjetseni ngati atayesetsa pang'ono.
Ngati apitilizabe kuyesera ndipo mupitiliza kuwakaniza koma pitilizani kuwakokera, zinthu zitha kukhala zosokoneza.
12. Imvani;
Mukangonena chifukwa chake simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi, perekani mwayi kwa munthu winayo kuti ayankhe. Dziwani kuti akuchokera kumalo opweteka ndi okhumudwitsa, kotero simungakonde zonse zomwe anganene.
Khalani oleza mtima ndi kuwamvera. Iwo akuyenera zochuluka chotero. Ndizochepa kwambiri zomwe mungachite ngati lingaliro lanu laphwanya mitima yawo.
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13. Musakakamize kupeza mabwenzi
Kodi ndi bwino kusakhala ndi chidwi ndi chibwenzi kapena kukhala mabwenzi? Kumene. Mukangosonyeza kuti simukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi, musamukakamize kuti akhale bwenzi lanu. Osachepera, osati nthawi yomweyo. Ngakhale inu ndi munthu winayo mudakhala abwenzi kapena munagawana nawo ubale wabwino kuntchito kwanu m'mbuyomu.
Angopatsidwa kumene dzanja la kukanidwa ndipo kutumizidwa ku friendzone sikungakhale bwino pakadali pano.
Apatseni nthawi yoti athetse vutoli musanaganize zopanga ubwenzi weniweni.
Kuuza munthu amene simukufuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi kumakhala kovuta komanso kosavuta. Koma ndi chinthu choyenera kuchita. Ndi malangizo ndi njira izi, mudzatha kuti zinthu zisakhale zovuta. Choncho, agwiritseni ntchito bwino kuti achepetse kuwomba.
Ibibazo
Inde, ndi zachilendo kufuna kuchoka pachibwenzi ngati mwakumana ndi zovuta zambiri, mukuchoka paubwenzi wanthawi yayitali, kapena mukufuna kukhala ndi nthawi yoganizira nokha.
Mukadziwa kuti munthuyo si wabwino kwa inu kapena kuti chibwenzi chanu chidzatha, n’zotheka kukopeka ndi munthu wina koma osafuna kukhala naye pachibwenzi.
Zomwe mumakumana nazo pazaubwenzi ndi banja zitha kukhala chifukwa chosowa chilakolako chofuna kupanga zibwenzi.
Munthu amene alibe chidwi ndi maubwenzi amatchedwa okoma.
Konzekerani, atsikana, ndipo lekani kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anyamata oipa!
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
