Kodi mungathetse bwanji mavuto a kudzipereka? Ngati mwapeza kuti mukufuna mayankho a funso ili, mwayi ndi woti zomwe mumakumana nazo muubwenzi ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi ena ambiri. Kupeza imodzi ndikudzipangira tokha mosangalala ndi iwo ndi chikhumbo chomwe ambiri aife timayamba ndi zest. Izi, pambuyo pa zonse, zimatengedwa ngati gawo lalikulu la moyo. Kwa munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto lodzipereka, mphamvu zopezera bwenzi lamoyo kapena kukhalabe mu ubale wa moyo wonse zimasinthidwa.
Kwa iwo, lingaliro la kukhala ndi munthu wina kwa moyo wonse likhoza kuyambitsa nkhawa, mantha ndi kuyankha kwa ndege. Ndipo osati magwero a chisangalalo kapena ziyembekezo ndi maloto. Koma nkhani zodzipereka ndi chiyani? Kodi zoyambitsa ndi zizindikiro zazikulu za mantha odzipereka ndi chiyani? Ndipo mungatani mukakhala ndi vuto lodzipereka?
Tiyeni tiyankhe mafunso awa pokambirana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu waukwati ndi banja, kuti akuthandizeni kupeza momwe mungathanirane ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudzipereka.
Kodi Kudzipereka Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ulendo wothetsa kudzipereka umayamba ndikumvetsetsa zomwe izi zimakhudzana ndi momwe mumakhalira muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, tiyeni tiyambe ndikuwunika zomwe zili zofunika paubwenzi. Pamene anthu awiri abwera pamodzi muubwenzi wachikondi, ndi kupanga lonjezo kuti adzakhala ndi maganizo komanso kugonana mkazi m'modzi, kumamatirana mu zovuta za moyo, ndi kufotokoza chikhumbo chokhala ndi moyo pamodzi - ndiko kudzipereka.
Kulephera kulonjeza nokha kwa munthu wina mpaka moyo wanu umakhala wolumikizana kosatha kungafotokozedwe ngati nkhani zodzipereka muubwenzi. Ngakhale kuti kuopa kudzipereka kumakambidwa kaŵirikaŵiri pankhani ya zibwenzi, munthu amene akulimbana ndi nkhani za kudzipereka angasonyezenso kuti alibe chitsimikizo m’mbali zonse za moyo.
Muubwenzi, zingawonekere ngati kulephera kusunga malonjezo ndi malonjezo. M'moyo waukadaulo, zitha kutanthauza kukana ntchito zanthawi yayitali chifukwa choopa kumangidwa pagawo linalake. Komabe, nkhani zodzipereka zimawonekera kwambiri mumgwirizano wapamtima.
Pomaliza pake, zimangoyambira pa mantha odzipereka ku chilichonse ndipo zimachokera ku psychology ya kalembedwe ka chikondi . Munthu amene ali ndi vuto la kudzipereka amakhala ndi kalembedwe kodzidalira ka chikondi, komwe kangagawidwe m'magulu atatu:
1. Wokana-kupewa
Munthu akamapanga ubale wapamtima koma akusunga mnzawo pafupi. Safuna kuyamba kudalira mnzawoyo kapenanso safuna kuti mnzawoyo azimudalira. Pofotokoza za mtundu uwu wa chifukwa chachikulu cha mantha odzipereka, katswiri wa zamaganizo Gopa Khan anati, "Munthu samva kufunika kokhala ndi nthawi ndi mnzawoyo, amaona ubalewo mofanana ndi ubwenzi wamba komanso saika patsogolo zosowa za mnzawoyo. Nthawi zambiri pazochitika zotere, mnzawoyo winayo amakhala ndi vuto losowa 'nthawi yabwino', zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale mikangano muubwenziwo ."
2. Wopeŵa mantha
Pamenepa, munthu amene ali ndi nkhani zodzipereka amafuna kukhala ndi ubale wodzipereka, wokhalitsa koma amawopa kwambiri kuti achitepo kanthu poopa kuvulazidwa. Kukhoza kufotokozedwa ngati kuopa kudzipereka kapena munthu wolakwika. Gopa akupereka chitsanzo cha nkhani zopeŵa kudzipereka mwamantha, “Meena akufunitsitsa kukwatiwa. Makolo ake am’dziŵitsa kwa anthu ambiri.
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3. Kuda nkhawa
Mtundu uwu wa mantha odzipatulira umawonetsa kusadzidalira ndi mantha kwa munthu wina. Munthu wokhudzidwayo amayamba kukhulupirira kuti ngakhale akufuna chikondi chamkati ndi kudzipereka muubwenzi, mnzawo sakufuna. Gopa amakhulupirira kuti kulephera kudzipatulira komwe kumakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri n'kofala kwambiri, makamaka pakati pa achinyamata.
Iye anati: “Iwo amalephera kukhulupirira abwenzi awo, amangokhalira kuganiza za kusakhulupirika kapena kulephera ‘chifukwa chiyani’ wina angafune kukhala nawo paubwenzi.” Chifukwa cha zimenezi, amalephera kudzipereka kotheratu chifukwa akuyembekezera kuti chibwenzicho chilephereke.
Kaya ndi mtundu wanji komanso kukula kwake, mantha odzipereka nthawi zambiri amakhala okhudzana ndi zochitika zoopsa m'moyo monga ubwana woopsa, kukulira m'banja losakhazikika, nkhanza, ukwati wosweka komanso kusakhulupirika.
Kodi Zizindikiro za Kudzipereka Ndi Chiyani?
Kusatsimikizika pang'ono, mantha pang'ono pochita bwenzi kapena kutenga sitepe yayikulu muubwenzi ndizofala komanso zachilengedwe. Nanga n’chiyani chimasiyanitsa mantha amenewa ndi kuopa kudzipereka? Mukudziwa bwanji kuti muyenera kuchita ntchitoyo kuti musiye kukhala ndi nkhani zodzipereka komanso kuti zomwe mukukumana nazo sizimangokhalira kuzizira? Onani zizindikiro izi za kudzipereka kuti mudziwe kusiyana kwake:
- Kuopa kumangidwa: Mukufananiza kukhala paubwenzi ndi kutaya ufulu wanu ndikugonjetsedwa ndi mantha omangidwa
- Kuwopseza maubwenzi ena: Anthu okondana amawoneka ngati chiwopsezo kwa maubwenzi anu, moyo wamagulu ndi maubwenzi ena m'moyo wanu
- Kutaya chidwi: Chiyembekezo chilichonse chodzipereka kuchokera kwa mnzanu nthawi yomweyo zimakupangitsani kutaya chidwi mwa iwo. Mumayamba kuziwona mosiyana kapena mutha kupeza kuti simukukopekanso nazo
- Flings, osati ubale wautali: Mbiri ya ubale wanu ndi mndandanda wa zibwenzi zazifupi, zosakhalitsa, osati kulumikizana kwanthawi yayitali
- Nsomba zambiri m'nyanja: Mukufananiza kudzipereka kwa munthu m'modzi ndikuphonya ziyembekezo zina 'zabwino' kunja uko
- Simungathe kupanga malingaliro anu: Mukafunsidwa kudzipereka, nthawi zonse mumapempha nthawi yochulukirapo kuti mupange malingaliro anu
- Kusamalira maubwenzi ngati ma pit stops: Maubwenzi ali ngati maimidwe a m'moyo wanu. Simungadziwone mukugawana moyo wanu ndi munthu m'modzi yekha
- Kuopa kuvulazidwa: Mumadziletsa kuti musatengeke mtima ndi mnzanu poopa kuvulazidwa kapena kuperekedwa. Kuopa kwanu kudzipereka ndi njira yodzitetezera
- Kuwopa zolemba: Pamene malemba monga 'bwenzi', 'chibwenzi', 'chibwenzi' kapena 'mkazi' akukuopsezani, mosakayikira mukulephera kuyesa kudzipereka.
- Osatenga njira zotsatirazi: Chifukwa cholephera kudzipereka, nthawi zambiri mumathetsa chibwenzi zinthu zisanachitike
- Kukhala wosadzipereka: Ngati sichoncho, ndinu okondwa kulumikiza mnzanuyo popanda kuwapatsa mayankho otsimikizika okhudza tsogolo
- Palibe kufuna kulumikizidwa: Lingaliro la kulunzanitsa ndandanda yanu ndi munthu wina limakudetsani nkhawa
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Malangizo 12 a Momwe Mungathetsere Nkhani Zodzipereka
Kodi mungagwirizane ndi zomwe tafotokozazi komanso zizindikiro za kudzipereka? Kodi mumalakalaka ubale watanthauzo koma osadziwa momwe mungapitire patsogolo? Kodi kuopa kudzipereka kwapangitsa moyo wanu kukhala wosungulumwa? Kodi mukuyang'ana mwachidwi njira zothetsera mavuto? Kodi ubale uliwonse umakupangitsani kudzifunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi vuto lodzipereka ndi chirichonse?"
Titha kumvetsetsa momwe kudzipereka kumafooketsa muubwenzi komanso momwe angapangire moyo wanu wonse kukhala wosakwanira. Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti simuyenera kukhala ndi moyo woterewu mpaka kalekale. Mutha kusintha moyo wanu wachikondi pophunzira kuthana ndi mavuto odzipereka. Malangizo 12 awa okuthandizani kuti muthe kudzipereka m'mbuyomu kukuthandizani kuti muyambe njira yoyenera:
1. Chokani pachibwenzi kuti mukonze nkhani zodzipereka
Inde, zingamveke zotsutsana pang'ono. Kodi mungakonze bwanji nkhani zodzipereka pokhala osakwatiwa, mukufunsa? Chabwino, ife sitikukupemphani inu kukhala hermit. Koma kuti musiyane ndi kudzipereka kwaubwenzi-phobic, muyenera kukhala ndi nthawi yosinkhasinkha ndikudzifufuza.
Izi zikuthandizani kuti muganizire za kuphunzira momwe mungakulitsire kulumikizana ndi munthu wina popanda kuda nkhawa. Pofuna kuthana ndi mantha odzipereka pa chilichonse, Gopa akuti, "Njira yabwino ndikusiya kudzikakamiza kuti uyenera kukhala pachibwenzi kapena kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa akukula kapena ali ndi mabwenzi odzipereka.
"Izi zikuthandizani kuti muyang'ane ubale wabwino ndi inu komanso kuti musathamangire pachibwenzi choyambirira chomwe chimakuchitikirani ndikungobwereza zomwe mwalephera kuchita." Kuti muthane ndi zovuta zodzipereka, muyenera kukhala bwino ndikutenga zinthu pang'onopang'ono, kupita patsogolo pa liwiro lanu, kukondwerera zopambana zazing'ono panjira popanda kudzimenya nokha chifukwa cholephera.
2. Pezani muzu wa mantha anu odzipereka
Kodi mungathetse bwanji mavuto a kudzipereka? Muyenera kukhala okonzeka kuchita ntchito yamkati kuti mufike ku zomwe zimayambitsa zovuta izi. Nkhani zodzipereka sizimakhazikika paokha. Pali zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimachititsa mantha kudzipereka. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yanu yochoka pachibwenzi mopindulitsa pofika pagwero la mantha anu odzipereka.
Kusakhulupirika kungakhale chifukwa chachikulu cha amuna osakonda kudzipereka . Mofananamo, nkhanza kapena chiwawa zingayambitse mavuto a kudzipereka mwa akazi. Kodi munali pachibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali chomwe sichinayende bwino? Kodi ukwati wanu unatha? Kodi ubwana wanu unakhudzidwa ndi kusudzulana kwa makolo anu? Kodi munakumanapo ndi nkhanza kapena kusakhulupirika pa maso panu kapena pafupi nanu?
Izi zitha kukhala chifukwa chomwe mwakhala ndi mantha odzipatulira. Ngati ndi choncho, kugwira ntchito ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo kapena mlangizi kuti muthane ndi mavuto awa ndi chinthu chanzeru kuchita. Pezani yankho la funso lovuta - chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi mavuto odzipatulira pa chilichonse - kuti ndithe kuswa khalidwe lanu. Ngati mukufuna thandizo loyenera kuti mumasuke ku mantha olemetsa awa odzipatulira, alangizi aluso komanso ovomerezeka omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.
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3. Khalani oona mtima ndi inu nokha
Kawirikawiri, amuna ndi akazi oopa kudzipereka amadzinyenga kuti akhulupirire kuti sali pachibwenzi cha nthawi yayitali chifukwa sakufuna kukhala pachibwenzi. Amayamba kutamanda ufulu wawo, moyo wodzikuza kumene amatha kusangalala mpaka mbandakucha ndikugona mopanda nkhawa padziko lapansi.
Koma kodi moyo umenewu umabweretsa chisangalalo chenicheni? Kapena kodi mukuchita zimenezo kuti mubwezere malo amene munasoŵa m’moyo wanu? Yankhani mafunso awa moona mtima. Monga munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto lodzipereka, mutha kupeza chitonthozo kwakanthawi komanso kuthawa kwabwino muusiku waphwando lopanda pake kapena kulumikizana kopanda tanthauzo koma zokumana nazo izi zitha kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu opanda pake komanso osakwanira.
Ndiye, patulani nthawi kuti mudziwe chomwe mukufunadi nokha? Kodi mukufunadi kukhala mbeta kwa moyo wanu wonse kapena mwapanga mtendere ndi mwayi umenewo chifukwa zikuwoneka ngati njira yosavuta yodzipereka kwa munthu wina? Kuti musalole kuti kudzipereka muubwenzi kulamulire mtundu wa moyo womwe mukukhala, muyenera kutsimikiza zomwe mukufuna kuchokera pamenepo.
4. Lekani kucheza ndi anthu amene simukuwafuna
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wodzipereka sikosangalatsa konse. Kuzindikira kuti "bwenzi langa / chibwenzi changa ali ndi vuto lodzipereka" kumakhumudwitsa, kunena pang'ono. Nchifukwa chiyani mumalola wina kuti adutse kuti musangalale ndi magawo anu awiri?
Tsopano popeza mukuyesera kusintha makhalidwe anu, yambani mwa kuthetsa chizolowezi chopita kukacheza ndi anthu omwe simukuwakonda. Kapena kucheza ndi munthu popanda cholinga chomuwonanso. Yang'anani mphamvu zanu pa kumvetsetsa mtundu wa mnzanu amene mukufuna ndikuyesetsa kupeza munthu ameneyo. Izi zikuthandizani kuthetsa mantha oti mungamangidwe.
Gopa akuti, "Chinsinsi chothetsera kudzipereka ndi kupewa kulowa muubwenzi womwe umadziwa kuti ulibe tsogolo. Kulowa muubwenzi wotere kumangowonjezera mantha a kudzipereka kapena munthu wolakwika, pamene umayamba kuganiza kuti sangakumane ndi munthu woyenera. Zotsatira zake, machitidwe onse akukhala odekha amalowa ndipo wina amangobwerezabwereza zovutazi.
“Chotero n’kofunika kwambiri kuti munthu asaloŵe m’chibwenzi.” Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti akuphonya pamene sali paubwenzi pamene, kwenikweni, maubwenzi oterowo amakhala ndi chiyambukiro choipa kwa okwatirana onse aŵiriwo.
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5. Kodi mungathetse bwanji nkhani zodzipereka? Gwirani ntchito pa kudzidalira
Nkhani zodzipereka zimayambanso chifukwa chodzikayikira. Mwina simunakhalepo pachibwenzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali chifukwa penapake mukuona kuti palibe amene adzakukondeni. Nkhani za kudzipereka mwa akazi, komanso amuna, zimathanso chifukwa chodzidalira chifukwa cha zowawa zakale.
Mwinamwake, munali ndi makolo odzudzula mopambanitsa amene anakuuzani kuti simuli okhoza mokwanira kapena anali ndi ziyembekezo zazikulu kwa inu kotero kuti munalingalira kuti simungagwirizane nazo. Ngakhale izi zingawoneke ngati zopanda vuto, zisonkhezero zoyambirirazi zimatha kukutsogolerani kukhala ndi malingaliro opotoka, zomwe zimakulepheretsani kukhala ndi moyo wathunthu m'njira zambiri, kuphatikizapo kudzipereka mu maubwenzi.
Choncho, yesetsani kusintha mmene mukudzionera. Kusintha kwa umunthu kungathandize kwambiri kusintha kawonedwe kanu. Yesetsani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, phunzirani luso latsopano, kwaniritsani zolinga zatsopano, zilowerereni zatsopano. Yambani kudziyamikira. Malinga ndi Gopa, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi moyo ndikuvomera nokha mopanda malire. Mukasankha kukhala paubwenzi wabwino ndi inu nokha, mumamva kukhala 'otetezeka' pakhungu lanu, omasuka ku zochitika zatsopano, ndi kudzipereka kwachangu.
"Njira yanga yomwe ndimakonda kwambiri yogwirira ntchito nthawi yomweyo pa kudzidalira ndi kudzikonda ndiyo kulemba tsiku lililonse chinthu chimodzi chomwe mumayamikira pa moyo wanu ndi chinthu chimodzi chomwe mumayamikira pa inu nokha. Pofika kumapeto kwa chaka, mudzakhala ndi zinthu zosachepera 300 zomwe mumayamikira komanso njira 300 zomwe mumalemekezera komanso kudzikonda. Mwachidule, mukuphunzira kukhala bwenzi lanu lapamtima." Ichi chingakhale chimodzi mwazochita zogwira mtima kwambiri pa mantha odzipereka.
6. Yesani masewero olimbitsa thupi kuti mukhale ndi mantha odzipereka
Ngati mukugwira ntchito ndi wothandizira, mosakayikira adzakupatsani masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti mukhale ndi phobia yodzipereka. Ngati sichoncho, mutha kuyesa njira zosavuta zosinkhasinkha, kupuma mwakuya kapena kuyimba kuti muchepetse nkhawa zanu komanso nkhawa zanu. Lingaliro ndikuyika ndalama pakudzisamalira kuti muphunzire momwe mungakhalire osayang'ana kwambiri zoyipa.
Gopa anati: “Njira yabwino yothetsera mantha a kudzipereka pa chilichonse ndi kulemekeza zimene mwalonjeza ndi achibale komanso anzanu. Choncho, ngati munalonjeza banja lanu kuti mudzapita ku mwambo wina wabanja, musabwerere m’mbuyo nthawi yapitayi.
Monga tanena kale, kupitilira kudzipereka kumatanthauza kudzipereka kuchitapo kanthu pang'ono kuti muthe kusintha machitidwe omwe muli kale ndikusintha kukhala athanzi. Simungasiye kukhala ndi nkhani zodzipereka. Choncho sungani zoyembekeza zanu zenizeni ndikuyang'ana pa zolinga zazing'ono kuti muwone kusintha kwa nthawi yaitali.
7. Yambani kudalira ena kukonza nkhani zodzipereka
Mutu umodzi wofunikira wa phobia yodzipereka ndikuti mumawopa kutsamira munthu wina kuti akuthandizeni, kukukondani komanso kukusamalirani. Mwina, china chake m'mbuyomu chakuphunzitsani kuti kudalira ena ndi njira yotsimikizika yowonongera ndikuwotcha. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, munayamba kudandaula kwambiri moti ngakhale kuganiza zokhala pafupi ndi munthu wina kumakupundula.
Ndiye, nanga bwanji kusintha izi podalira ena ndikuwona momwe zikumvera? Siziyenera kukhala wokondana naye. Mutha kuyamba pang'ono podalira anzanu ndi abale. Kufikira kwa iwo kaamba ka chithandizo ndi chithandizo. Mmene mumamvera akakubwezerani kungakuthandizeni kuti musamachite mantha kuti kudalira ena kumangokupwetekani.
Zochita zolimbitsa thupi zodzipatulira phobia zitha kukhala zophweka monga kulandira chithandizo chomwe chilipo kapena kukana zoletsa zanu ndikutsamira okondedwa anu kuti akuthandizeni. Pamene mukugonjetsa mantha oti mungodzisamalira nokha, mukadatenga sitepe yoyamba kuti muthetse kudzipereka kwanu.
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8. Yesetsani kukhululuka kuti muthetse kudzipereka kwaubwenzi
Chibwenzi chomwe chinakugwetsani ndikusowa. Msungwana yemwe adapezeka kuti ndi mkwatibwi wothawa. Makolo amene amakuchitirani ngati nkhonya m’chisudzulo. Mnzanu amene amakumenyani kwambiri… Muyenera kupeza njira yokhululukira munthu kapena anthu amene anakuswani mtima - ndipo mwinanso mzimu wanu - chifukwa cha kudzikonda kwawo.
Njira yochotsera mgwirizano wodzipatulira imadutsa mu kukhululukirana muubwenzi , wakale komanso wamakono. Ngati simuchiritsa zomwe zakupwetekani, mudzakhetsa magazi kwa iwo omwe sanakuduleni. Mwina ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuchita, koma tikhulupirireni, chidzakumasulani.
Gopa akusonyeza kuti mukhoza kuyamba kulemba makalata (popanda kuwatumiza kwa munthuyo) mmene munamvera mukakhala naye, zimene zinakupwetekani, zimene munakumbukira bwino kuti muthe kuwakhululukira kuti mukhale ndi mtendere wamumtima. Kuzindikira uku kudzakuthandizani kusiya zowawa zakale pang'onopang'ono.
"Lingaliro ndi kukhululukira koma osaiwala kotero kuti maubwenzi omwewo sayenera kubwerezedwa. Ngati simuli mtundu wolembera, mukhoza kutsata njira ya 'mpando wopanda kanthu' - ikani mpando patsogolo panu ndikuyesa kuti munthu amene anakukhumudwitsani kuchokera m'mbuyomo akukhala pamenepo. Mumalankhula mokweza za momwe chiyanjanocho chinakhudzirani.
9. Limbikitsani maubwenzi ozikidwa pa ufulu
Ngati mukufuna kuthana ndi mantha oti mungamangike, muyenera kusintha momwe mumaonera zinthu komanso momwe mumachitira ndi maubwenzi. M'malo mowona izi ngati chinthu chomwe chingakupangitseni kutopa, chilandireni ngati mgwirizano womwe umapindulitsa onse awiri. Chofunika kwambiri, pezani munthu amene ali ndi mphamvu zofanana ndi zanu pankhani ya kufunika kwa malo anu ndi ufulu muubwenzi. Izi zikupatsani zabwino kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi - kumva kukhutitsidwa ndi kudziyimira pawokha.
Gopa anati: “Njira ina yothetsera kulephera kwanu kuchitapo kanthu ndiyo kulemba mtundu wa unansi umene mukufuna.” Makhalidwe amene mukuyang’ana ndi zizindikiro zodziŵika bwino kuti mupeŵe zibwenzi zosautsa.
10. Chitani zinthu pang'onopang'ono
Ngati malingaliro monga 'kwamuyaya', 'mpaka imfa itilekanitse', 'okwatirana nawo moyo' ndi ' okwatirana nawo ' akukugonjetsani ndikuyambitsa mantha, chotsani mawu awa mu ubale wanu. Kupatula apo, si okwatirana onse omwe amalonjeza zinthu zazikulu zokhala limodzi kwamuyaya omwe amapambana pa ntchitoyi. M'malo mwake, tengani njira imodzi ndi imodzi yolumikizirana ndi ubale wanu. Yang'anani pa zenizeni zenizeni osati zamtsogolo.
Langizo la Gopa ndikupewa 'kulumpha thumba' mukakumana ndi yemwe mungakhale naye pachibwenzi. “Kumbukirani kuti maunansi onse amazikidwa pa kukhulupirirana ndi kulemekezana.” Maubwenzi obadwa chifukwa cha mabwenzi amakhala ndi maziko olimba kwambiri.Choncho khalani ndi nthaŵi yomanga mabwenzi abwino.Izi zidzakuthandizaninso kusankha m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kaya mukufuna ‘kucheza’ ndi bwenzi limeneli moyo wanu wonse,” anawonjezera motero.
Kuthetsa kudzipereka kumakhala kosavuta mukakhala ndi mnzanu yemwe amamvetsetsa komwe mukuchokera, amatha kumvetsetsa zomwe zikukuyambitsani ndipo ali wokonzeka kupitiliza izi pamlingo womwe mungakhale nawo bwino. Koma kuti zonsezi zichitike, muyenera kukhala okonzeka kumasuka kwa iwo ndi kugawana nawo mantha anu ndi zofooka zanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chibwenzi Chapadera: Sichoncho Ponena za Ubale Wodzipereka
11. Muziyembekezera zinthu moyenera
Mukabwerera ku chibwenzi, khalani ndi ziyembekezo zenizeni osati za mnzanu woti mukhale naye paubwenzi komanso malinga ndi miyezo yomwe mwakhazikitsa paubwenzi wanu. Ngati muyika malire okwera kwambiri, mudzakhumudwitsidwa ndi ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka. Izi zidzawonjezera nkhawa, mantha ndi mantha anu.
Kumbukirani kuti palibe amene ali wangwiro. Aliyense amene mungamusankhe adzakhala ndi zofooka ndi zolakwika zake. Lowani ndi maganizo omasuka ndi kufunitsitsa kuvomereza angathe bwenzi amene iwo ali m'malo kuyesera kuti agwirizane iwo mu chikombole cha lingaliro lanu la bwenzi abwino. Malingana ngati zolinga za moyo wanu ndi zikhulupiliro zikugwirizana, khalani okonzeka kupanga zochepetsera zazing'ono ndikusintha panjira.
12. Khalani oona mtima pa nkhani za kudzipereka kwanu
Mukapeza munthu amene mungadzione ngati mukugawana naye moyo wanu, khalani oona mtima komanso omasuka pankhani ya mantha ndi nkhawa. Kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu amene ali ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudzipereka sikophweka ndipo munthu winayo ali ndi ufulu wodziwa zomwe akulembetsa. Gopa akuti ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa bwino nkhani zokhudzana ndi kudzipereka kuti muthe kuzithetsa.
“Kusamveketsa bwino za kudzipereka m’chibwenzi kuli ngati ‘kubera.” Kumapereka chiyembekezo chabodza kwa mnzanuyo ndipo n’kodzikonda.
Pamene mukumva kuti ndinu okonzeka, onetsetsani kuti mwawatsimikizira kuti mwachita ntchito yothetsa mantha anu odzipereka ndipo mwapita patsogolo kwenikweni. Ngati akufuna kugwira dzanja lanu kudutsa ulendo wonsewu, mutha kutembenuza tsamba latsopano. Tikukhulupirira kuti malangizo awa okuthandizani kuthana ndi mavuto odzipereka akuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo.
Ibibazo
Nkhani zokhudzana ndi kudzipereka nthawi zambiri zimakhala chifukwa cha zomwe mwakumana nazo kapena zomwe mukuganiza kuti mwakumana nazo. Mwina munagwidwa muubwenzi wosakhazikika kapena munaona makhalidwe oipa a banja mwa makolo anu kapena munthu wina m'banjamo. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, mwina mwayamba kuganiza kuti maubwenzi ndi ululu osati chisangalalo ndi kukhutitsidwa. Ichi ndiye chifukwa chachikulu cha mantha odzipereka.
Inde, kudzipereka-phobe kumatha kugwa m'chikondi. Koma ngakhale zili choncho, iwo sangathe kupanga maubwenzi abwino pokhapokha atachita ntchito yofunikira kuti athetse kulephera kwawo kudzipereka.
Kuti muthe kuthana ndi mavuto odzipereka, muyenera kumvetsetsa tanthauzo la kudzipereka kwanu komanso chifukwa chomwe chikuyambitsa mantha anu odzipereka. Chinthu chotsatira chofunika ndicho kusiya kugwirizana kwapoizoni kapena kotheratu. Tengani nthawi yopumula kuti mukonze zovuta zanu musanadzipange nokha.
Nkhani Yakuvomereza: Tinalanga Chikondi Ndipo Pomaliza Tidapeza Zomwe Tinkafuna
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
