Anthu nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nkhawa komanso amawona kuti kukonza zogonana ndizovuta. Tapangidwa kuganiza kuti kugonana kumabadwa chifukwa cha chikhumbo choopsa komanso chachibadwa, chomwe chimamveka ngati sichingaletsedwe. Kaya anali mafilimu kapena mabuku kapena zokumana nazo za munthu, tauzidwa kuti kugonana kumayenera kumva mwachibadwa, kofunika, modzidzimutsa, komanso kosangalatsa kuti kukhale kwabwino. Ndimo momwe zimayenera kugwirira ntchito, sichoncho? Chabwino, osati kwenikweni.
Ngakhale kuti chilakolako chogonana chomwe chimabwera chifukwa chokopeka ndi chilakolako chogonana chimakhala chosangalatsa ndipo chidzakupangitsani kuti mupite ndi mahomoni amenewo, palibe cholakwika ndi kukonza zogonana ngati zinthu sizikuyenda bwino muubwenzi wanu. Ndizosavuta kukhala otanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito komanso ndandanda zathu zopenga, kotero kuti kugonana kumatenga kumbuyo ndipo zilakolako zathu zogonana nazonso zimatheratu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake, nthawi zina, muyenera kuyesetsa mwakhama kuti mubwererenso.
Kodi mukusokonezekabe? Simudzakhala osokonezeka mukangowerenga nkhaniyi yonse. Ndipo kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino, tili ndi katswiri yemwe watibweretsera nkhani yeniyeni lero yomwe adakumana nayo. Minnu R Bhonsle, Ph.D., ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso mlangizi, pomwe mwamuna wake Rajan Bhonsle , MD, ndi mlangizi wa zamankhwala ogonana komanso mlangizi. Pamodzi, amayendetsa malo apadera ochiritsira, Heart-to-Heart, ndipo adalemba buku, The Ultimate Sex Education Guide.
Nkhani Ya Mabanja Omwe Amayenera Kuyamba Kukonza Zogonana Muukwati
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
(Maina asinthidwa kuti ateteze zidziwitso)
Abigail wazaka 32 yemwe ndi mkulu wa zamalonda komanso mayi wa ana aŵiri, anabwera kudzationa miyezi itatu yapitayo. Ndiwokonda kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa chilichonse ndipo amanyadira kusamalira bwino nyumba yake ndi malo antchito. Choncho, ngakhale kuti anali wanzeru posamalira zinthu zapakhomo, anali ndi vuto lina limene anafunikira thandizo lathu.
Zonse zomwe ankamva pankhani yogonana zinali kutopa. Ulendo wautali, ntchito ya tsiku ndi tsiku komanso kunyumba, kusamalira zosowa za ana ake aang'ono, komanso kuthana ndi apongozi ake, komanso kusapuma mokwanira (kuthupi ndi m'maganizo) kunali kuwononga banjali, ndipo ndicho chimene anatiuza.
Kuwonjezera apo, popeza tsopano ali ndi zaka zoposa 30 zakubadwa, kuchepa kwake kwa kagayidwe kachakudya ndi moyo wopanikiza zikumupangitsanso kuunjikira mapaundi owonjezera m’chiwuno mwake, ndi m’maganizo mwake, kukulitsa zimene iye ndi mwamuna wake amachita pakati pa mapepalawo.
"Kupanga bwanji kugonana kukhala kwabwino kwa tonsefe?" chinali nkhawa yake
Ngakhale akudziwa kuti thupi lake siliyenera kukhudzidwa ndi kuwonjezera ma kilos angapo, anali atayamba kudzimva kuti alibe thanzi. Mnzake adamulangiza kuti akumane ndi katswiri wazakudya yemwe adathandizira makasitomala paulendo wawo wolimbitsa thupi. Abigail nayenso anayamba kuchita zinthu zolimbitsa thupi, podzuka m’mawa kwambiri n’kumathamanga.
M’malo momupangitsa kumva bwino, katswiri wa kadyedwe kake anachita zosiyana. Abigail ankayenera kukhala ndi chakudya chamadzulo chopepuka kwambiri tsiku lililonse - msuzi wa nkhuku ndi saladi basi. Chotero, iye anatsala ndi thupi lotopa, logona tulo, miyendo yopweteka, pakamwa ponunkha moipa, ndi m’mimba mukung’ung’udza. Kuti asangalale ndi kugona basi. M'malo mwa kugonana komwe ankakonda, zomwe ankangoganizira ndi mbale ya nkhuku yokazinga!
Zinali zomveka kwa ife kuti choyamba, anafunika kuchepetsa zinthu m'moyo wake komanso maganizo ake. Inde, anali atalemera kwambiri. Koma mwamuna wake ankamukondadi ndipo anali munthu wodzidalira. Panalibe chifukwa chosakaniza mavuto ake okhudzana ndi kagayidwe kachakudya ndi mavuto ake okhudzana ndi kugonana . Mulimonsemo, iye ankayesetsa kusamalira thanzi lake ndipo anali kugwira ntchito yolimbitsa thupi lake.
Tidamuuza kuti kudya komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumayenera kupangitsa munthu kumva kukhala wopepuka, wathanzi, wothamanga, komanso wamphamvu, osatopa ndi njala ndi mpweya woipa! Choncho, ngati zimenezi zinali kuchitika, Abigail anafunika kukambirana ndi katswiri wa zakudya ndi kusintha koyenera mu ulamuliro wake kuti akhale olimba popanda kutaya nyonga. Tinalangiza kuti akamuyezetse kuti aone ngati akufunikira mankhwala owonjezera mphamvu zake komanso kuti amuone bwinobwino thanzi lake.
Koma kenako, tinamuuzanso za kufunika kokonza zogonana m’banja
Tili ana, tinaphunzitsidwa kusukulu kugwira ntchito motsatira nthawi, ndipo tonse tinkatha kuphunzira maphunziro angapo tsiku lililonse potsatira ndondomekoyi kusukulu. Mofananamo, masiku ano, ndikofunikira kuti maudindo osiyanasiyana, ntchito zapakhomo, nthawi ya 'ine', nthawi ya banja, ndi zina zotero zikonzedwe pamodzi ndi nthawi ya 'ife' kuti pakhale mgwirizano wabwino pakati pa ntchito ndi moyo.
Sikofunikira kugonana usiku wokha. Ndipotu, munthu akagwira ntchito tsiku lonse, angafune kungofuna gawo la Friends kenako n’kugona. Mphamvu zambiri zimagwiritsidwa ntchito masana pantchito, paulendo, ndi zina zotero. Sikoyenera kuyembekezera kuti munthu azichita zogonana kumapeto kwa tsiku, tsiku lililonse. Pakhoza kukhala mphamvu zochepa zotsala munthu akamapita kukagona.
Apa ndipamene maganizo okonza nthawi yogonana amabwera. Kugonana kumafuna mphamvu zambiri, chidwi, ndi chidwi. Kotero zomwe zikuchitika ndi okwatirana amasiku ano ogwira ntchito ndi zachilengedwe komanso zakuthupi. Nthawi yabwino muzochitika zoterezi ingakhale kugonana m'mawa kwambiri. Mukagona bwino usiku, pamene thupi lanu ndi maganizo anu zapuma bwino ndipo mwatsitsimutsidwa, mudzapeza nyonga ndi chilakolako chochuluka. Ngakhale Vatsyayana ku Kamasutra adalimbikitsa m'mawa kwambiri ngati nthawi yabwino kwambiri yaubwenzi. Kulankhulanso mwakuthupi, timadzi ta testosterone, timene timayambitsa chilakolako chogonana / kuyendetsa / libido mwa anthu, ndipamwamba kwambiri m'mawa. Kodi izo si zangwiro basi?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Azimayi ena amalakalaka kugonana osati mandimu panthawi ya mimba
Sinthani nthawi yanu bwino kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino wogonana
Mofananamo, ntchito zina zapakhomo ziyenera kugaŵidwa kwa ena (abale ndi aganyu), ndipo ntchito zina zosafunikira kwenikweni zidzafunika kusinthidwa mawiri awiri kapena mwezi uliwonse m’malo mwa tsiku lililonse. Gulani pa intaneti, gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi kuti mukumane ndi achibale kuti nthawi ya banja isasokonezedwe ndi kuyimba foni kuchokera kwa achibale, kunena kuti ayi ku zofuna zadzidzidzi, ndipo koposa zonse, khalani ndi kumvetsetsana ndi mnzanu pakufunika kokonzanso bwino kuti musakhalenso muukwati wopanda kugonana.
Kugonana kwachisawawa kumachulukirachulukira ndipo nthawi zambiri, okwatirana amalowerera m'maukwati osagonana chifukwa amangokhalira kukakamira. Kugonana kokonzekera kungakhale kokongola komanso kokwanira, nthawi zina kuposa kugonana kwachisawawa. Choncho kuswa nthano yakuti kugonana kuyenera kukhala kwachisawawa n'kofunikanso kuti mubwezeretse chiyanjano.
Yakwana nthawi yokonzekera kugonana!
Pangani ubale wapamtima ndi mnzanu pogwiritsa ntchito mapulogalamu otumizirana mauthenga, konzani nthawi yoti 'tizicheza' ndi kapu ya tiyi m'mawa m'chipinda chogona, kapena poyenda mphindi 15 mutatha kudya popanda ana kapena mafoni a m'manja. Izi zingathandize kuti malo a 'tizicheza' akhale ogwirizana komanso kuti nthawi yochezerana ikhale yosangalatsa kwambiri.
Usiku wa tsiku kamodzi pa sabata kapena kamodzi pa sabata, kuthawa kwa sabata kamodzi m'miyezi iwiri ndikotheka, ngati kukonzedweratu. Koma kumbukirani chinthu chimodzi mosamala kwambiri. Ndi zabwino zonse ngati mukufuna kukonzekera kugonana ndi kukonzekera madeti ndi kuyesetsa kwambiri pa kucheza nthawi pamodzi. Koma m’pofunika kudziŵa kuti ndi ‘khalidwe’ la ubwenzi osati ‘unyinji’ umene uli wofunika. Kalendala yanu yogonana yaukwati sidzakuchitirani zabwino ngati simukuyesetsa kuti kugonana kukhale kosangalatsa komanso kosangalatsa kwa nonse.
Tinafotokozera Abigayeli zinthu zimenezi. Anabwerera kunyumba pofuna kuti banja lake liziyenda bwino, ndipo yesani malangizo awa kuti abwererenso. Abigail adatiyimbira foni posachedwa ndipo adatithokoza chifukwa chomubwezera kugonana m'njira yomwe ubwenzi wake unkawoneka ngati wabwino kwambiri kuposa malingaliro ake onse a chakudya! Tinali okondwa kwambiri kuti tinali kumuthandiza, ndipo tinatha kuchotsa nthano zonse zokhuza ndandanda ya kugonana.
(Monga anauza Roshni Mitra)
Njira 5 Zopangira Kukonzekera Zogonana, Osati Zodabwitsa
Tikukhulupirira kuti nkhani yomwe yatiuza ndi akatswiri azachipatala yakuthandizani kuzindikira momwe kukonzekera zogonana kungathandizire muukwati wanu kapena muubwenzi wanu. Koma nthawi zina, pamene zizindikiro zokondana sizikupezeka ndipo nthawi zambiri inu nonse muli otopa komanso otanganidwa kwambiri, kukhala ndi nthawi yogonana kungapangitse zinthu kumva zachilendo komanso ngati ntchito yovuta kuposa kale. Kuti zimenezi zisachitike, ndikofunikira kuti mukonzekere zogonana m'njira yoyenera.
Kuti muyambe kuchita bwino ndikuchita bwino, tsatirani izi.
1. Khalani ndi zowonera zambiri
Tikhulupirireni tikakuuzani kuti ngati mukudumpha masewero a foreplay kapena kuwafupikitsa kwambiri, mukuchita molakwika. Nthawi zina, foreplay ndi cholinga cha ubale wapamtima, osati kungolowa mkati. Kusangalatsa mnzanu, ndikuonetsetsa kuti wayamba kukondana, ndikofunikira kuti mugone bwino muubwenzi . Ngati mudumpha gawo labwino kwambiri ndikupita molunjika kumene chochitikacho chili, mudzamva kutopa kwambiri ndipo mudzafuna kutha msanga. Zimenezo sizikutanthauza kuti kalendala yanu yogonana ndi yofunika kwambiri. Ndipo ponena za zimenezo, inde, mukufunikira kalendala yogonana.
- Pangani miyambo yotsogolera nthawi (mwachitsanzo, chakudya chamadzulo chachikondi kapena zochitika zogawana nawo).
- Gwiritsani ntchito zoyambitsa zomverera monga kuyatsa, nyimbo, kapena zonunkhira kuti mukweze kulumikizana.
"Kukondana sikukhudza nthawi, koma ndi cholinga. Yambani kuika patsogolo kulumikizana kwanu lero!"
2. Pangani kalendala ya kugonana kuti mukonzekere kugonana
Ngati mwawerengapo positi mpaka pano ndipo simukuganiza kuti kukhala ndi kalendala ya kugonana ndikofunikira, tidzakuuzani mobwerezabwereza kuti ndi choncho. Pamene mkazi wanu akukonzekera kugonana kuti agone nanu moyo wabwino, pitani patsogolo ndipo musonyezeni kuti ndinu okondwa mofanana mwa kujambula kalendala. Popanda izi, simudzakhala ndi udindo wokwaniritsa cholingacho ndipo muzipeza zifukwa zopewera.
- Khalani ndi nthawi yokwanira koma lolani malo oti musinthe.
- Musalole kuti izi zimveke zolimba - yang'anani pa kulumikizana, osati koloko.
3. Pitirizani kusangalatsidwa ndi nthawi yanu yogonana
Kutumizira mwamuna wanu uthenga woti “Musabweretse chakudya chilichonse kunyumba lero, mukudziwa momwe zimandipangitsa kukhala ndi mpweya woipa ndipo tiyenera kugonana usikuuno” si njira yokonzekera nthawi yogonana. M'malo mwake, mutumizeni emoji ya biringanya ndikutumiza uthenga wonyansa monga, “Sindingathe kudikira kuti ndikudyereni chakudya chamadzulo usikuuno.” Zimenezo zigwira ntchito ngati matsenga!
- Ganizirani mothandizana nthawi yomwe ingagwire ntchito kwa onse awiri.
- Khalani omasuka kulankhulana pa zosowa ndi zokonda.
4. Yesetsani kusangalatsana
Osadzikonda pakama. Mfundo yonse ya masewerowa ndikumasula ma endorphin, kukondweretsa wina ndi mzake, ndi kumverera moyandikana wina ndi mzake kuposa kale. Kuti muchite zimenezo, muyenera kuyesetsa kumvetsa zomwe wokondedwa wanu amakonda ndi kusangalala nazo pabedi. Kukonza zopangana zachikondi sikukukhudzani ayi, ndi za inu awiri muubwenzi umenewu.
- Tumizani mauthenga okopa kapena manja ang'onoang'ono masana.
- Tetezani ubale womwe wakonzedwa ngati kuwerengera kosangalatsa.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa 13 Zomwe Akazi Sangathe Kugona Pamodzi (ndi Njira Zopezera Chimodzi)
5. Lankhulani zosowa zanu momasuka
Ndondomeko yanu yogonana idzayenda bwino ngati mutasiya kuchitira zinthu ngati zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikuyamba kuziwona ngati zomwe mukufuna kuchita. Kuti muthe kuyembekezera ndikugonana bwino, muyenera kulankhulana zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe mukufuna kuyesa. Kaya ndi zoseweretsa zogonana, kuchita pa khichini, kapena kuyesa china chake chapamwamba - fufuzani mozama pazomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso zomwe mukufuna kuyesa. Kenako, perekani zomwezo kwa mnzanuyo kuti musangalatse moyo wanu wakugonana.
"Kupanga bwanji kugonana kukhala kwabwino kwa tonsefe?" - tikukhulupirira kuti kalozerayu wakuthandizani kumvetsetsa yankho la izi. Ndiye mukuyembekezera chiyani? Pitani mukapange kalendalayo ndikupita!
Ibibazo
Osachepera kawiri pa sabata ngati mukufunadi kuti ubale wanu ubwererenso.
Ndi zabwinobwino komanso zopindulitsa kwambiri paubwenzi womwe ukuvuta kapena kusowa chidwi.
Mukayamba kukonzekera kugonana, sikuti mumangomva kuti muli ndi udindo wokonza mbali iyi ya chiyanjano, koma mumakhalanso osangalala kwambiri pamene mukupereka mphamvu zambiri komanso chidwi kuti mupange zinthu zotentha komanso zapamtima pakati panu awiri kachiwiri.
Maganizo Final
Kukonza nthawi yogonana sikuyenera kuoneka ngati nkhani yachipatala kapena yosokoneza. Mwa kuisintha ngati njira yosamalira ubale wanu, mutha kuika patsogolo ubale weniweni m'dziko lotanganidwa. Kumbukirani, cholinga si kungolumikizana mwakuthupi komanso kulimbikitsa ubale wapamtima. Akatswiri athu odziwa bwino ntchito angakuthandizeni inu ndi mnzanu kuthana ndi mavuto, kulankhulana momasuka, ndikuyambitsanso ubale wanu.
Zizindikiro 17 Zovuta Kugonana Zomwe Simungathe Kuzinyalanyaza - Ndi Zoyenera Kuchita
Kodi Sextech ndi chiyani? Tanthauzo, Ubwino, Ndi Chifukwa Chake Muyenera Kusamala
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Mawu akuti “kugonana kokonzekera” amadzetsa mantha kwa okwatirana ambiri. Tili ndi lingaliro lakuti kugonana nthawi zonse kumayenera kukhala kodzidzimutsa, kotero kupanga chisankho chokonzekera kugonana kumamveka ngati kuvomereza kuti moyo wanu wogonana ndi wakufa. Koma sizili choncho. Ndikuona kuti ndi njira yosonyezera inu ndi mnzanu kuti mumayamikira moyo wanu wogonana. Timakonza zinthu zofunika kwa ife. Chifukwa chiyani sitingathe kukonza zogonana?