13 Ubwino Ndi Kuipa Kwa Kugonana Musanakwatirane

Kufalitsa chikondi

M'dziko lamakono, kumene, malinga ndi ziwerengero, pafupifupi 90% ya Achimereka amagonana asanakwatirane, msinkhu uwu wa chiyanjano mu ubale ukhoza kuwoneka ngati woperekedwa. Chowonadi ndi chakuti, palibe yankho lofanana ndi limodzi. Ngakhale kuti kwa anthu ambiri, kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi njira yachibadwa ya kukhala pachibwenzi, padakali ena, amene amasemphana ndi zikhulupiriro zozama kapena mfundo zaumwini. Ngakhale mmene chikhalidwe chimasinthiratu, maganizo achikhristu pa nkhani ya kugonana asanalowe m’banja komanso a zipembedzo zina amakhudzabe maganizo a anthu ambiri pankhaniyi.

Ngati mupeza kuti mwasankha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanu ndipo mukusemphana ndi zomwe mungachite kapena ayi, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni. Tiyeni tifufuze zachipembedzo ndi chikhalidwe cha kugonana musanalowe m'banja, zotsatira zake pa chibwenzi, ubwino ndi kuipa kwa chisankho, kuti mupange chisankho choyenera.

Kodi Kugonana Musanakwatirane Ndi Tchimo?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kaya kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi uchimo kumadalira kwambiri zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo ndi zaumwini. Miyambo yambiri ya zipembedzo, mwachitsanzo, maganizo achikristu pa nkhani ya kugonana asanalowe m’banja, imaphunzitsa kuti munthu asagonane asanalowe m’banja, ndipo amati kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo. Izi zitha kuyambitsa mkangano wamkati mwa munthu wokulirapo ndi zikhulupiriro izi yemwe amamvanso chilakolako chogonana. Kunena zoona, si onse amene amamasulira ziphunzitso zachipembedzo mofanana.

Anthu ena achikhulupiriro amatsutsa kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja si tchimo ngati lichitika mwachikondi. mgwirizano wodzipereka, makamaka kuganizira za ubwino wa unansiwo osati deti la ukwati. Katswiri wina wa maphunziro a zaumulungu, dzina lake Dr. Richard Davidson, anati: “Kaŵirikaŵiri lingaliro la uchimo limasonkhezeredwa ndi chikhalidwe ndi nthaŵi, koma mfundo yaikulu ya kukhulupirika m’makhalidwe imakhalabe. Malingaliro okhudza uchimo amatha kusintha ndi nkhani. Ngakhale mkati mwa Chikristu, pali mkangano: Baibulo limaletsa chigololo mosapita m’mbali, koma silimanena kuti, “Kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo.” Izi zimasiya malo otanthauzira.

Zimene Zikhulupiriro ndi Zikhalidwe Zosiyanasiyana Zimanena Zokhudza Kugonana Musanalowe M'banja

Infographic on Chikhulupiriro Ndi Kugonana Musanakwatirane — Chikhulupiriro ndi kugonana musanakwatirane

Maganizo okhudza kugonana asanalowe m’banja amasiyanasiyana m’zipembedzo ndi zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana. Zikhulupiriro zambiri zozikidwa pazikhulupiliro zimaona kuti kugonana musanalowe m'banja n'chilako kapena tchimo, ndipo amalimbikitsa kuti mudzipulumutse ku banja. Komabe, kutanthauzira kwamakono kumapereka malingaliro omasuka, kugogomezera chikumbumtima chamunthu, the udindo wa chilolezo, ndi miyambo ya chikhalidwe.

Nthawi zambiri, madera osamala, kaŵirikaŵiri m’madera ena a Asia, Afirika, ndi Middle East, amatsatira mfundo zokhwima zodziletsa, pamene zikhalidwe za Azungu zayamba kuvomereza kugonana usanakwatire posachedwapa. Malingaliro osiyanasiyanawa akuwonetsa kusamvana pakati pa kusankha kwamunthu motsutsana ndi zikhalidwe zachikhalidwe pankhani ya ubwenzi wapamtima. Tiyeni tione zimene zipembedzo zosiyanasiyana zimanena pa nkhani ya kugonana musanalowe m’banja:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kusakwatira Kumatanthauza Chiyani Komanso Kukhala Opanda Kugonana?

Chikhristu: Chiphunzitso chachikristu chamwambo chimachirikiza mwamphamvu kudikira kufikira ukwati n’kugonana, nthaŵi zambiri chimati kugonana musanakwatirane ndi dama, tchimo. Mwachitsanzo, Tchalitchi cha Katolika chimaphunzitsa kuti “dama n’losemphana kwambiri ndi ulemu wa anthu ndiponso wa kugonana kwa anthu.” Apulotesitanti ndi Akatolika ambiri amalalikira kuti mudzipulumutse ku ukwati. Komabe, malingaliro amakono achikristu omasuka amasiyana. Akhristu ena amene akupita patsogolo amanena kuti Baibulo silimaletsa mosapita m’mbali kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndipo limangoganizira kwambiri za kudzipereka, kukhulupirirana, ndi makhalidwe abwino muubwenziwo. Poyeneradi, zofufuza amasonyeza Akristu ambiri masiku ano amavomereza kugonana m’maunansi odziŵika bwino asanalowe m’banja, kusonyeza kusintha kwa malamulo okhwima a chikhulupiriro n’kuyamba kutsatira chikumbumtima cha munthu aliyense.
Chisilamu: M’Chisilamu, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumaonedwa ngati haramu. Mchitidwewo umatengedwa kuti zina (dama) ndi tchimo lalikulu m’ziphunzitso zachipembedzo pa kugonana. Qur'an ndi Hadith zimatsindika za chiyero ndi kusunga ubwenzi wa banja. Pachikhalidwe, pali kutsindika kwakukulu pa kudzichepetsa, kudzipereka, ndi kulemekeza m'banja, ndi machitidwe monga kusankhana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi komanso palibe kukhalira limodzi musanakwatirane zomwe zimalimbikitsa izi. Chifukwa chake, magulu achisilamu ambiri amakhala ndi chiwopsezo chochepa cha kugonana asanakwatirane poyerekeza ndi magulu ena.
Chihindu: Malingaliro Achihindu pankhani ya kugonana asanakwatirane mwamwambo amakhala osamala, ngakhale kuti sali ogwirizana. Malemba achihindu akale a dharma amalimbikitsa brahmacharya (umbeta) paunyamata, kuyembekezera anthu kukhalabe odzisunga kufikira ukwati. Makhalidwe ogonana amamangiriridwa ku malingaliro a ntchito (dharma) ndi karma, ndipo m'mbiri, unamwali unali wofunika kwambiri. Mu India wamakono ndi diaspora, maganizo akusintha. Ahindu a m’matauni ndi akumadzulo amavomereza kwambiri chosankha chaumwini, komabe madera ambiri amaonabe kuti unansi wa ukwati usanakhale wotsutsana ndi zikhalidwe. Makamaka, kafukufuku wapadziko lonse amapeza kuti Ahindu ndi amodzi mwa omwe atha kuchita zogonana asanalowe m'banja, pomwe 19% okha ndi omwe amagonana nawo, malinga ndi m'modzi. kafukufuku
Chibuda: Chibuda sichikhala ndi lamulo lokhwima loletsa kugonana musanalowe m'banja, m'malo mwake limayang'ana zolinga ndi kupewa zoipa. Mfundo za makhalidwe abwino m’Chibuda zimalimbikitsa kupeŵa “chigololo,” chimene mwamwambo chimatanthawuza khalidwe lachigololo lodyera masuku pamutu monga chigololo kapena kugonana ndi munthu wazaka zing’onozing’ono kapena moumirizidwa. Mosiyana ndi zipembedzo zina, palibe lamulo lenileni lakuti kugonana kuyenera kuchitika munthu akakwatirana. M’malo mwake, Abuda amaphunzitsidwa kuchita zinthu modzichepetsa ndi kulingalira mu maubwenzi, kuphatikizapo zigawo zake zakugonana. Ngati maunansi a ukwati asanakwatirane ali achikondi, ogwirizana, ndipo samaphatikizapo kuperekedwa kapena kuvulaza, iwo kaŵirikaŵiri amawonedwa kukhala ovomerezeka m’matanthauzo ambiri Achibuda. M’zikhalidwe zina, mwachitsanzo, m’Chibuda cha ku China, lamulo limeneli limatengedwa mosamalitsa kutanthauza kusagonana kunja kwa ukwati.
Chiyuda: Malingaliro mu Chiyuda amayambira pamwambo kwambiri mpaka amakono komanso omasuka. Chiyuda cha Orthodox chimayembekeza kudziletsa mosamalitsa asanalowe m'banja. Kugonana ndi anthu okwatirana okha, ndipo kungokhala osagwirana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo musanalowe m’banja) kumachitidwa ndi anthu amene amaonetsetsa kwambiri. Lamulo lachiyuda lachiyuda (Halacha) limawona kugonana kosakwatirana kukhala kosayenera; kusunga ulemu (tzniut) ndi malamulo a ukhondo wa m'banja ndizofunikira kwambiri. Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, Chiyuda cha Reform, Liberal, ndi Reconstructionist Chiyuda chimachita zinthu zolekerera. Mayendedwe amakonowa samadziona ngati omangidwa ndi malamulo onse okhudzana ndi kugonana ndipo nthawi zambiri amavomereza maubwenzi asanakwatirane malinga ngati ali ogwirizana komanso achikondi.
Makhalidwe Achikhalidwe: Kakhalidwe ka anthu pankhani ya kugonana asanalowe m’banja kaŵirikaŵiri kamafanana ndi zikhalidwe zachipembedzo ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu. M’maiko ambiri a Kumadzulo, kugonana usanakwatire kwakhala kovomerezedwa mofala m’zaka za m’ma theka lapitalo. Secularization ndi kusintha kwa kugonana kunayambitsa kutsindika kwakukulu pa ufulu wa munthu ndi kuyanjana kwa kugonana. Kumbali ina, zikhalidwe zambiri za ku Asia, Afirika, ndi ku Middle East zikukhalabe zosamala kwambiri pankhani imeneyi, nthaŵi zambiri chifukwa cha miyambo yachipembedzo ndi ya anthu onse. Kusiyana kumeneku kumabweretsa zokumana nazo zosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, okwatirana a ku America kapena ku Ulaya akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi kwa zaka zambiri ndipo ngakhale kukhalira limodzi, ndi kuvomerezedwa ndi anthu, pamene m'madera osamala kwambiri, khalidwe lotere lingayambitse chilango.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndimagwirizana ndi Bwenzi Langa Pogonana?

Kodi Kugonana Musanakwatirane Kumakhudza Bwanji Ubwenzi?

Kodi kugonana pakati pa anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi kumakhudza ubale wabwino kapena woipa? Palibe yankho lililonse. Kwa okwatirana ena, kugonana asanalowe m’banja kumalimbitsa ubwenzi wawo. Kwa ena, zimabweretsa mikangano kapena kukayikira mu mphamvu. Kugonana kumatulutsa mahomoni olumikizana monga oxytocin omwe amakulitsa kulumikizana, zomwe zingakufikitseni pafupi. Koma ngati chibwenzicho chikulephereka pambuyo pa kugonana, kusweka mtima kungakhale kokulirapo. Ngakhale kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungatsegule zitseko za kumvetsetsana ndi kulankhulana bwino, kungathenso kusokoneza maganizo.

"Ubwenzi wakuthupi zingapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuwona mbendera zofiira zaubale chifukwa mgwirizano wamalingaliro umakonda kugonjetsa malingaliro abwino. "
—Esther Perel, katswiri wa maubwenzi

Pamapeto pake, momwe kugonana kumakhudzira ubale wanu zimatengera zomwe onse awiri amayendera, momwe amalumikizirana, komanso momwe maziko ake alili olimba.

Ubwino 13 Wogonana Usanakwatire

Monga momwe mungadziwire pakali pano, kugonana musanakwatirane kungakhale kosanganiza zokumana nazo, ndi mapindu ake ndi mbuna zake. Phindu limeneli limaposa kusangalatsa kwakuthupi ndi chisonkhezero kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe ndi kukhutitsidwa kwa ubale. Tiyeni tiwone zabwino 13 zokhuza kugonana musanalowe m'banja kuti timvetsetse momwe:

1. Kumvetsetsa momwe mumagonana

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumakupatsani mwayi wodziwa kuti ndinu munthu wotani. Pokhala paubwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukhulupirira, mumaphunzira zomwe mumakonda, zomwe simukonda, komanso malire anu. Kudzidziwa nokha kungapangitse moyo wogonana wabwino m'banja, chifukwa mudzatha kufotokozera zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mumakonda kwa mnzanuyo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Sanavomere Kugonana Asanakwatirane, Ndiye Ndinamunyenga

2. Kupeza chidziwitso ndi luso logonana

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungakuthandizeni kuti mukhale ndi chidaliro komanso luso lanu m’chipinda chogona. Monga ntchito iliyonse, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumathandiza. Mumaphunzira kulankhulana nkhani zokhudza kugonana komanso kumvetsa zosowa za wina ndi mnzake. Chitonthozo ndi chokumana nachochi chikhoza kupangitsa moyo wogonana wokhutiritsa, wochepa wovuta.

3. Kuyesa kugwilizana ndi kugonana

malingaliro a chikhalidwe pa kugonana musanakwatirane — Dziwani ngati inu ndi mnzanu mumagwirizana bwino pabedi

Kugwirizana pakugonana ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi chisangalalo chanthawi yayitali. Kugonana musanalowe m'banja kumakupatsani mwayi wodziwa ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mumagwirizana bwino pabedi, zomwe simungathe kuzizindikira popanda kuyesa. Monga munthu wina adalankhula Reddit, "Kodi mungagule galimoto popanda kuyesa kuyendetsa?" Kuwonetsetsa kuti mwadina mwakuthupi kungapewe zodabwitsa pambuyo pake.

4. Kuzindikira mavuto omwe angakhalepo msanga

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungavumbulutse mavuto okhudza kugonana kapena kusamvana msanga. Mutha kupeza kusagwirizana kwakukulu mu libido kapena nkhani zina zapamtima. Ndi bwino kudziŵa zimenezi musanalowe m’banja, kuti muthe kuzithetsa kapenanso kuziganiziranso, kusiyana n’kuchitiridwa khungu pambuyo pake.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mafunso 20 Omanga Ubwenzi Wapamtima Ndi Ubale Ndi Wokondedwa Wanu Pamlingo Wozama

5. Kukulitsa ubwenzi wapamtima

Ubwenzi wakuthupi nthawi zambiri umakulitsa mgwirizano wamalingaliro pakati pa okwatirana. Kukhulupirira munthu amene ali pachiopsezo chanu mwanjira imeneyo kungawonjezere chikondi ndi kuyandikana komwe mumagawana. Mabanja ambiri amamva kuti ali ogwirizana komanso "ogwirizana" atatha kugonana.

6. Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana pakati pa okondedwa

Khulupirirani kapena ayi, kugonana kungathe Muzilankhulana bwino monga banja. Kukhala wapamtima kumafuna kukambirana momasuka za zosowa ndi malire. Mwa kuyeseza kukambitsirana moona mtima m’chipinda chogona, okwatirana ambiri amapeza kukhala kosavuta kukambitsirana za zinthu zinanso. Mwachidule, ngati mungathe kulankhula za kugonana, mukhoza kulankhula chilichonse. Ndipo zimenezo zimalimbitsa chikhulupiriro.

7. Kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa kugonana ndi nkhawa

Kudikirira mpaka m'banja kungayambitse mavuto ndi nkhawa zambiri "nthawi yoyamba". Kukhala wapamtima ukwati usanachitike kumachotsa chosadziwika chachikulu. Simudzakhala ndi zovuta zonse zogwirira ntchito usiku umodzi, ndipo mutha kudutsa zovuta zilizonse zoyambirira. Mukadzalowa m'banja, kugonana kumakhala komasuka komanso kwachibadwa.

8. Kupewa maukwati othamanga “chifukwa chongogonana”

momwe mungasankhire za kugonana musanalowe m’banja — Mutha kukwatiwa chifukwa chofanana

Anthu ena amakwatira mopupuluma makamaka pofuna kugonana. Ngati kugonana musanalowe m’banja n’koletsedwa, sipangakhale chikakamizo chothamangira m’banja pazifukwa zakuthupi. Mutha kutenga nthawi yanu ndikukwatiwa zikamveka bwino. Osati chifukwa mukuyesera kuti mukhale osakwatira. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mutha kukwatiwa chifukwa cha chikondi komanso kuyenererana, osati kungolembetsa mwalamulo kugonana.

9. Kuonetsetsa kuti zolinga za wokondedwa wanu ndi zenizeni

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungakhale ngati njira yochotsera zifuno zoipa. Ngati wina amangofuna kugonana nawe basi, akhoza kutaya chidwi akachilandira. Zowawa, koma bwino kudziwa musanakwatirane. Wokondedwa amene amakukondani moona mtima adzakangamira pafupi ndi kuyandikira pambuyo pa chibwenzi, osati kutha.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 6 Zofunika Zimene Anthu Okwatirana Ayenera Kuchita Asanalowe M’banja

10. Kusangalala ndi mpumulo wa nkhawa

Tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo izi: kugonana ndi kosangalatsa, ndipo ndi phindu loyenera kuyesa. Ndiwothandiza kwambiri kuthetsa nkhawa. Kukondana kwakuthupi kumayambitsa mahomoni omva bwino omwe amachepetsa kupsinjika ndikuwonjezera kukhumudwa. Maanja ambiri amapeza kuti kusangalala ndi moyo wogonana wabwino asanalowe m'banja kumawafikitsa pafupi ndikuwathandiza kumasuka limodzi.

11. Kudzimva kukhala wamphamvu komanso kudzidalira

Kusankha kuchita zogonana ndi zofuna zanu zokha kungakhale kopatsa mphamvu. Mukuyang'anira thupi lanu ndi zosankha zanu, m'malo molola kuti lamulo lifotokoze kufunika kwanu. Anthu ambiri (makamaka akazi) amakhala odzidalira komanso omasuka ngati satenga unamwali ngati chikho. Kukumbatira kugonana kwanu popanda manyazi kumatha kukulitsa kudzidalira kwanu ndikukupangani kukhala bwenzi lodalirika.

12. Palibe chidwi cha "bwanji-ngati" chomwe chatsalira

kuipa kwa kugonana musanalowe m’banja — N'zosadabwitsa kuti kugonana kungakhale kotani ndi munthu wina

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungathetseretu chidwi. Ngati mumagonana, simungadabwe kuti kugonana kumakhala kotani ndi munthu wina mutalowa m'banja. Mayi wina yemwe anali ndi zibwenzi zam'mbuyomu adatero Reddit, “Ndimadziwanso zimene ndikusowa ndiponso zimene sindikuphonya m’dzikoli.

13. Kulimbitsa chikhulupiriro mwa kukhala pachiwopsezo

Kugonana kungapangitse kuti anthu azikhulupirirana. Kukhala waubwenzi kumatanthauza kukhala pachiwopsezo, ndipo ngati musamalirana, kumapangitsa kuti mukhale otetezeka kwambiri. Mumaphunzira kulemekeza malire ndi zosowa za wina ndi mnzake pamlingo waumwini. Monga momwe katswiri wa zaubwenzi Dr. John Gottman akunenera, “Kukhulupirirana kumakhazikika pa kamphindi kakang’ono.” Kuuza ena nthaŵi zapamtima zimenezo musanalowe m’banja kungalimbitse khulupirirani ubale wanu.

Ubwino Wogonana Usanakwatire	Kuipa Kugonana Musanakwatirane
Kumvetsetsa za kugonana kwanu	Mlandu wachipembedzo kapena wamakhalidwe
Kupeza chidziwitso chogonana ndi luso	Zokhumudwitsa zomwe zingatheke
Kuyesa kugwilizana ndi kugonana	Kusweka mtima kwambiri pambuyo pakutha
Kuzindikira zovuta zomwe zingatheke msanga	Kuopsa kwa mimba ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana
Kukulitsa ubwenzi wapamtima	Kumva kukakamizidwa kapena kugwiritsidwa ntchito
Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana pakati pa okondedwa	Kusavomerezedwa ndi banja kapena pagulu
Kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa kugonana ndi nkhawa	Kufananiza ndi katundu wakale
Kupewa maukwati othamangitsidwa "chifukwa chogonana"	Chiweruzo chikhoza kutsekedwa ndi kugonana
Kuwonetsetsa kuti zolinga za mnzanu ndi zenizeni	Kuthekera kwa kusamvana kwa ubale
Kusangalala ndi mpumulo wa nkhawa	Zikhoza kuyambitsa mkangano ngati makhalidwe asiyana
Kudzimva kukhala wamphamvu komanso kudzidalira	Zingapangitse kuti banja likhale losangalala
Palibe chidwi cha "bwanji-ngati" chomwe chatsalira	Kudziimba mlandu kosalekeza kapena kudzidalira
Kupanga chikhulupiriro kudzera pachiwopsezo	Chovuta kusiya ubale woyipa

13 Kugonana musanalowe m'banja

Palibe chisankho chomwe chilibe zoopsa. Ndi bwino kuganiziranso kuipa kwa kugonana musanalowe m’banja. Nawa 13 omwe angathe mbuna za kugonana musanalowe m’banja:

1. Liwongo lachipembedzo kapena lakhalidwe

Ngati munaphunzitsidwa kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo, kuphwanya lamuloli kungachititse munthu kudziimba mlandu komanso kuchita manyazi kwambiri. Mutha kumverera kuti mwafooketsa chikhulupiriro chanu kapena banja lanu. Mkangano wamakhalidwe woterewu ukhoza kukulepheretsani kukhala pa ubwenzi wabwino ndi munthu wina mpaka kukuchititsani kukhala kovuta kusangalala ndi ubwenzi pambuyo pake.

2. Zonong'oneza bondo

Anthu ena pambuyo pake amanong’oneza bondo kuti anagonana asanalowe m’banja, makamaka ngati sanagonane ndi bwenzi lawo losatha. Amaona kuti apereka chinthu chapadera kwa munthu wolakwika. Kulankhula za kutaya unamwali wawo kwa munthu amene sanakhalitse, munthu pa Reddit anavomereza kuti, “Ndinamva chisoni pamene ndinazindikira kuti kunali kupusa.” Ngati nthawi zonse mumafuna kuti usiku wanu waukwati ukhale nthawi yanu yoyamba, mutha kulira chifukwa cha kutayika kwa mphindi imodzi yokha.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubwenzi Wapamtima: Chifukwa Chiyani Ndi Wofunika Paukwati ndi Maubwenzi?

3. Kusweka mtima kwambiri pambuyo pa kupatukana

Kugonana kumapangitsa kuti anthu azigwirizana kwambiri. Ngati ubwenziwo ukutha, ubwenzi umenewo ungapangitse kuti kusweka mtima kukhale kovuta kwambiri. Anthu ambiri amaona kuti kupatukana kumapweteka kwambiri atakhala pachibwenzi. Kukhumudwa kwamalingaliro nthawi zambiri kumakhala kokulirapo chifukwa mudagawana nawo kulumikizana kwanuko. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, mutha kukhala ndi malingaliro akuya otayika ndikupwetekedwa pamene chibwenzi chitatha.

4. Kuopsa kwa mimba ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana

ngozi zogonana musanalowe m’banja — Ngakhale ndi njira zonse zotetezera, kugonana kuli ndi zoopsa zina

Nthawi zonse mukamagonana, pamakhala chiopsezo chotenga mimba, ngakhale poletsa kubereka. Kutenga mimba kosakonzekera kungayambitse mavuto aakulu a maganizo ndi zachuma, makamaka ngati simunakonzekere kukhala kholo. Palinso chiopsezo matenda opatsirana pogonana (matenda opatsirana pogonana). Chitetezo ndi kuyesa kumachepetsa mwayi, koma palibe njira yomwe ili 100%. Kuchita ndi khanda lodzidzimutsa kapena vuto la thanzi likhoza kusokoneza moyo wanu ndi ubale wanu musanalowe m'banja.

5. Kumva kukakamizidwa kapena kugwiritsidwa ntchito

Kuyambitsa kugonana nthawi zina kungayambitse kusamvana muubwenzi. Mnzake wina angakakamizidwe kugwirizana nawo asanakonzekeredi, zomwe zingawachititse kudziimba mlandu kapena kuipidwa. Kumbali inayi, anthu ena amataya ulemu kapena chidwi akapeza zomwe akufuna mwakuthupi, ndikusiya winayo amadziona kuti ndi wogwiritsidwa ntchito kapena wosafunika. Ngati kugonana kumachitika popanda kudzipereka kofanana, kungayambitse kupweteka kwambiri.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Pumulani Kugonana! 13 Zopanda Kugonana Kuti Mumve Kukhala Wapamtima Komanso Wapafupi

6. Kusavomerezedwa ndi banja kapena anthu ena

M’mabanja ndi m’zikhalidwe zina, kugonana musanalowe m’banja n’kosaloledwa. Makolo kapena anthu ammudzi akadziwa, mungakwiye, kukhumudwa kapena kuchita manyazi. Mutha kukakamizidwa kunama kapena kubisa mbali zina za moyo wanu. Kuweruza kwakunja kotereku kumatha kukhala kovutitsa kwambiri ndipo kumatha sokoneza ubale wanu ndi okondedwa anu ndi okondedwa anu.

7. Kufananiza ndi katundu wakale

Kukhala ndi anthu ogonana nawo kale kungayambitse nsanje kapena kusatetezeka m'banja. Inuyo kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mungadziyerekezere ndi anthu akale a mnzako, kapena mungada nkhawa podziwa kuti simunali oyamba. Zochitika zakugonana zam'mbuyomu zitha kukhalanso nazo katundu wamalingaliro, kaya ndi kukumbukira nthawi yaitali kapena zopweteka. Zonsezi zingayambitse kudalirana kapena kuganiza kuti mgwirizano wanu ndi "wapadera," zomwe zingasokoneze ubale wanu.

8. Chiweruzo chikhoza kuphimbidwa ndi kugonana

ubwino wa kugonana musanakwatirane — Mutha kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira mwa mnzanu

Kugonana kwakukulu kungapangitse kuweruza kwanu. Kuchuluka kwaubwenzi kungakupangitseni kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira kapena zosagwirizana. Mutha kukhala pachibwenzi choyipa nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe muyenera kuchitira chifukwa choti mgwirizano wakuthupi ndi wamphamvu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kukhala ogonana kungapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuwona zolakwika za mnzako ndi kupanga zisankho zomveka pa chiyanjano.

9. Kuthekera kwa kusamvana pa ubale

Kuchita zogonana nthawi zina kumatha kusokoneza chidwi cha ubale. Okwatirana angayambe kudalira kugonana kuti akhale oyandikana kapena kuti athetse mavuto, m'malo moyesetsa kulankhulana mozama. Ndikosavuta kuthera nthawi yambiri mukugonana kuposa kumanga ubale wanu. Ngati mbali ya thupi itenga mphamvu, zinthu zina zofunika monga ubwenzi kapena zolinga zogawana zikhoza kunyalanyazidwa, zomwe sizili bwino kwa ubale wautali.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Lingaliro la Kugonana Lasintha Bwanji Zaka 40 Zapitazi?

10. Zitha kuyambitsa mikangano ngati mikhalidwe isiyana

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungayambitse mkangano waukulu ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ndi zikhulupiriro zotsutsana pankhaniyi. Mkazi wina wachikristu amene anagonana ndi bwenzi lake losakhulupirira Mulungu anagawanamo Reddit, “Ndili wokondwa kuti anali woyamba wanga. Iye ankamukonda, koma makhalidwe awo osiyanasiyana anachititsa kuti zinthu zikhale zovuta. Ngati mmodzi wa inu akuona kuti kugonana asanalowe m’banja n’kulakwa, koma winayo sakuona, kungayambitse munthu kudziimba mlandu, kumukwiyira, kapena kukwiya. palibe chidaliro mu ubale.

11. Zingapangitse kuti banja likhale losangalala

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti pali kugwirizana kolakwika pakati pa kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi kupambana m’banja. Mwachitsanzo, mmodzi phunziro anapeza kuti anthu amene anali ndi zibwenzi zambiri zogonana asanamange ukwati anali okhoza kusudzulana kusiyana ndi amene analibe mmodzi kapena mmodzi yekha. Kukhala ndi “mbiri ya kugonana” kwa nthaŵi yaitali kungayambitse zizoloŵezi kapena ziyembekezo zimene zingawononge banja lamtsogolo. Ngakhale ili si lamulo lapadziko lonse lapansi, ndizochitika zomwe zimatchulidwa nthawi zambiri pamakangano okhudza kudikirira motsutsana ndi kusadikirira.

12. Kudziimba mlandu nthawi zonse kapena kudzidalira

Kuwonjezera pa kudziimba mlandu, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungakhale ndi zotsatirapo zokhalitsa monga kudziyang'anira pansi kwa anthu ena. Ngati munaleredwa kuti muyerekeze unamwali ndi chiyero, mungavutike kudzimva kukhala “wodetsedwa” kapena wosayenerera pambuyo pake, ngakhale mutakhala kuti simukugwirizana nazo. Manyazi amkatiwa amatha kupitilira ndikusokoneza thanzi lanu lamalingaliro komanso moyo wakugonana wamtsogolo. Mwachitsanzo, wina angavutike kusangalala ndi chibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake pambuyo pake chifukwa pansi pamtima amaona kuti awononga chiyero chawo posadikirira.

13. Chovuta kwambiri kusiya ubale woyipa

kugonana musanakwatirane kumakhudza ukwati — Kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakhale kovuta

Kugonana kungakhale ngati guluu yemwe amakupangitsani kuti muyambe kukopeka kwambiri ndi chibwenzi, ngakhale kuti sibwino. Mutayamba chibwenzi, zingakuvuteni kuti musiyane ndi munthu amene si woyenera. Anthu nthawi zina amakhala mkati maubale oopsa nthawi yayitali chifukwa safuna "kuwononga" mgwirizano wa kugonana, kapena amadandaula kuti sadzapezanso ubwenzi umenewo. Mwanjira imeneyi, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungapangitse kuti kukhale kovuta kuchoka pamene simukanatero.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungakane Bwanji Kugonana Osamupweteka?

Momwe Mungasankhire Ngati Kugonana Musanalowe M'banja Ndikoyenera Kwa Inu

Kusankha kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi chosankha chaumwini. Palibe yankho lofanana ndi limodzi. Zimatengera zomwe mumakonda, zikhulupiriro zanu, kukonzekera kwamalingaliro, komanso momwe zinthu zilili pamoyo wanu. Ndikofunikira kuunika malingaliro ozikidwa pa chikhulupiliro kapena zoyembekeza za chikhalidwe ndi malingaliro anu. Lingaliro liyenera kukhazikitsidwa pa zomwe zili zoyenera kwa inu ndi ubale wanu. Nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuziganizira kuti musankhe ngati kudikirira mpaka kulowa m'banja kapena kusadikirira kumagwirizana bwino ndi chikhalidwe chanu:

1. Muziganiziranso mfundo zimene mumayendera

Pezani nthawi yodzipenda moona mtima zikhulupiriro zanu, osati zachipembedzo zokha, komanso zachikhalidwe, ndi zaumwini. Dzifunseni nokha momwe kugonana tsopano kukugwirizana ndi makhalidwe anu kapena maganizo anu ozikidwa pa chikhulupiriro. Ngati munaphunzitsidwa kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo kapena n’koletsedwa, ganizirani ngati mukuvomerezana ndi mmene kuswa kapena kutsatira mwambowo kungakupangitseni kumva.

Maleredwe anu ndi zikhalidwe zanu zikhoza kukukhudzani, koma kumbukirani kuti ichi ndi chisankho chanu. Kuwonetsetsa kuti chisankho chanu chikugwirizana ndi chikumbumtima chanu komanso chitonthozo chanu kudzakuthandizani kupewa mikangano yamkati kapena kudziimba mlandu. Dziwani momwe mumaonera kusankha kwanu motsutsana ndi miyambo yachikhalidwe ndipo lolani izi zikutsogolereni kuti chilichonse chomwe mungafune, mukhale nacho pamtendere.

2, Kambiranani ndi bwenzi lanu

kukhudzidwa mtima kwa kugonana musanalowe m'banja — Dziwani zomwe nonse mumayimilira pankhani yogonana musanalowe m'banja

Kuyankhulana momasuka ndikofunikira musanayambe kugonana. Kambiranani ndi wokondedwa wanu zoyembekeza za wina ndi mzake, malire, ndi zomwe kugonana kumatanthauza kwa nonse. Onetsetsani kuti muli patsamba lomwelo za izi. Mwachitsanzo, kodi nonse mumaona kuti kugonana ndi chinthu chongokhalira kukhalira limodzi komanso kukhala pachibwenzi, kapena ngati njira yosonyeza kudzipereka kozama? Kumveketsa bwino pa izi ndikofunikira, kotero kuti palibe wa inu amene angamve kuti waperekedwa kapena wachitiridwa mwayi. Ndikofunikiranso kuti,

Kambiranani malire othandiza. Mwachitsanzo, okwatirana ena amaika malire ngati atangopanga chinkhoswe kapena ayi kufikira atapangana pangano.
Dziwani momveka bwino za chilolezo ndi chitonthozo. Mwina munganene kuti, “Ndikufuna kuti tigwirizane kuti kugonana kungatanthauze chiyani paubwenzi wathu.”
Onetsetsani kuti nonse mukulemekeza malire a wina ndi mnzake

Maanja omwe amalankhulana moona mtima pankhani yogonana amakonda kukhala ndi ubale wabwino, kaya adikire kapena ayi. Kulankhulana bwino tsopano kudzakhazikitsa kamvekedwe ka momwe mungathanirane ndi chibwenzi ndi mikangano pambuyo pake.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mphamvu Ndi Kufunika Kwa Kugonana Paubwenzi

3. Unikani kukonzeka kwamalingaliro

Kupatula pa chikondi kapena chikhumbo chakuthupi, yesani kukonzekera kwanu m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo pogonana. Kukhala “wokonzeka” kumatanthauza kudzimva kukhala wosungika, osati kuda nkhaŵa kapena kukakamizidwa, ponena za kukhala wapamtima. Dzifunseni nokha ngati mukuganiza zogonana pazifukwa zoyenera. “Kodi ndimaganiza zogonana chifukwa chofuna kutero, kapena chifukwa chakuti ‘ndiyenera’?” Ngati mukumva mantha, mantha, kapena olakwa pamaganizowo, fufuzani chifukwa chake. Ndi zachilendo kukhala ndi jitters, koma kupitilirabe mantha kapena kuganiza kuti "ndizolakwika" kwa inu kungatanthauze kuti simunakonzekerebe.

Kukonzekera m'malingaliro kumaphatikizanso kukonzekera zotulukapo zomwe zingachitike: kodi mudzamva kukhala oyandikana kwambiri, kapena munganong'oneze bondo? Onetsetsani kuti simukuchita izi kuti muthetse vuto la chibwenzi kapena kuti musunge wokondedwa wanu. Awa ndi mbendera zofiira zomwe mukunena kuti inde kugonana pazifukwa zolakwika. Ganiziraninso za thanzi lanu komanso zosowa zanu zapamtima. Ngati muli ndi zowawa zam'mbuyo kapena kukayikira zamphamvu zamakhalidwe, izi ziyenera kuthandizidwa poyamba. Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: osagonana chifukwa chokakamizidwa kapena ngati "ntchito."

4. Yezerani kuopsa ndi chitetezo

Kugonana amanyamula maudindo enieni ndi zoopsa. Yang'anani mwachidwi zotsatira zomwe zingatheke komanso momwe mungazithetsere. Funso lofunika kudzifunsa ndi lakuti: “Kodi ndine wokonzeka kulimbana ndi zotulukapo zosayembekezereka za kugonana monga kutenga mimba, matenda opatsirana pogonana (matenda opatsirana pogonana), kapena kusasangalala ndi mnzanga?” Ngati mwasankha kuchita zogonana musanalowe m’banja, kugonana kotetezeka sikungakambirane. Kugwiritsa ntchito chitetezo monga makondomu kapena madamu amano komanso njira yodalirika yolerera ingateteze thanzi lanu komanso chonde chamtsogolo.

Panthawi imodzimodziyo, muyenera kuganizira za kuopsa kwa maganizo ndi ubale. Nthawi zina kugonana kungasinthe machitidwe a chiyanjano. Kwa ena, zimakulitsa ubwenzi. Kwa ena, zimatha kuyambitsa mikangano yatsopano. Onetsetsani kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mwakonzeka kuthana ndi kusintha kumeneku pakudzipereka ndi kudalira. Pokonzekera chitetezo, mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo, mutha kupanga kugonana musanalowe m'banja kukhala chisankho chabwino, chodalirika ngati mutasankha kupitiriza.

5. Funsani chitsogozo ngati chikufunika

Ngati mwang'ambika kapena simukudziwa, kumbukirani kuti simuyenera kusankha nokha. Kufunafuna malangizo kuchokera kwa munthu wina wodalirika kungapereke zomveka. Kutengera ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, malangizowa atha kuchokera kwa mtsogoleri wachipembedzo, yemwe angathe kugawana nzeru zachipembedzo mopanda kuweruza, kapena kuchokera kwa mlangizi kapena sing'anga yemwe amadziwa bwino za ubale ndi kugonana.

Kulankhula ndi phungu, mwamuna ndi mkazi okalamba amene mumam’khulupirira, kapena wachibale wanu wapamtima angathandizenso. Iwo sangakupatseni yankho la “inde kapena ayi”, koma akhoza kukuthandizani kufufuza malingaliro anu ndi zosankha zanu. Ndithudi, malangizo awo angakutsogolereni. Pamapeto pake, chisankho ndi chanu. Koma ngati mwasokonezeka kapena mukuda nkhawa, kuyesetsa kuti muyenerere udindo ndi chinthu chanzeru.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi tchimo nthawi zonse?

Zimatengera amene mukufunsa. M’miyambo yambiri ya zipembedzo, kugonana munthu asanalowe m’banja kumaonedwa kuti ndi uchimo. Malingaliro ozikidwa pa chikhulupiriro ameneŵa amaona kukana monga kumvera malamulo a Mulungu. Komabe, kunja kwa zipembedzo zokhwima, kugonana musanalowe m'banja sikungowoneka ngati tchimo. Choncho, ayi, si nthawi zonse tchimo pamaso pa aliyense. Kaya kumalingaliridwa kukhala uchimo kumabwera chifukwa cha zikhulupiriro zanu zachipembedzo ndi kaonedwe kanu ka makhalidwe.

2. Kodi kudikira kumathandiza kuti banja likhale losangalala?

Palibe yankho lotsimikizika. Lingaliro ndiloti kudikira kungapangitse kuti mukhulupirire, kuonetsetsa kuti mfundo zanu zikugwirizana, ndi kupewa kufananiza, zomwe zingabweretse chisangalalo chachikulu m'banja. Kudikirira kungatanthauzenso kuti mulowa m'banja mulibe zotengera zambiri kapena zovuta zakale. Komabe, ena amatsutsa kuti kuyanjana kwa kugonana ndiko chigawo chachikulu cha chimwemwe chokhalitsa. Ndipo simungadziwe ngati mukugonana ndi munthu wina pokhapokha mutagonana. Chifukwa chake kusadikira kungathandize maanja ena kuwonetsetsa kuti ndi ogwirizana kwambiri, mwina kuwongolera ubale wawo. Chikhutiro chaukwati chimasonkhezeredwa ndi zinthu zambiri, monga kulankhulana, chikondi, thanzi labwino la maganizo ndi ubwenzi wapamtima, ndalama, ndiponso kaya munadikira kapena ayi ndi nkhani imodzi chabe ya vuto.

3. Kodi kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungawononge ubwenzi?

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja sikungowononga ubwenzi wabwino koma nkhani yake ndi mmene anthu akumvera zimafunika kwambiri. Ngati okwatirana onse akuchifuna, kukondana, ndi kulankhulana bwino, kukhala waubwenzi kungalimbikitse unansi wawo ndi kukulitsa unansi wawo. Komabe, mavuto amadza ngati kugonana kumachitika m'mikhalidwe yosayenera. Mwachitsanzo, ngati wina akumva kuti wapanikizidwa kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza kapena ngati zikuphwanya mfundo zazikulu za mnzako zomwe zimamupangitsa kudziimba mlandu. Ngati okwatirana ali ndi ziyembekezo zosiyana, zingayambitse kusweka mtima kapena kusakhulupirirana.

4. Bwanji ngati wokondedwa wanga akufuna kugonana asanalowe m’banja koma ine sindikufuna?

Njira yokhayo yothetsera kusamvana kumeneku ndi kulankhulana moona mtima ndi ulemu. Choyamba, dziwani kuti muli ndi ufulu wodikira ngati simunakonzekere ndipo mnzanu wachikondi angalemekeze zimenezo. Khalani pansi ndi mnzanuyo ndipo mokoma mtima mufotokoze maganizo anu ndi zifukwa zanu. Pamodzi, mutha kukambilana zomwe ubwenzi umatanthauza kwa aliyense wa inu ndikupeza njira zina zokhalira oyandikana. Ngati mnzanuyo sangavomereze lingaliro lanu lodikirira ndikukukakamizani mosalekeza kapena kukupalamulani, ndiye mbendera yofiira. Mungafunike kuulingaliranso ubalewo.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Kaya kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumaonedwa ngati tchimo kumadalira kwambiri ziphunzitso zachipembedzo zokhudza kugonana, zikhulupiriro zaumwini, ndi miyambo ya chikhalidwe, ndi malingaliro kuyambira kudziletsa kotheratu kufikira kuvomereza momasuka.
Pa maubwenzi, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungachititse kuti muzikondana kwambiri, muzilankhulana bwino komanso kuti muzigwirizana pogonana, koma kumakhalanso pachiwopsezo chodziimba mlandu, kusweka mtima, kapena mikangano ngati zikhalidwe zisemphana.
Ubwino wa kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi monga kulimbikitsa, kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa, kulimbikitsana, komanso kuyesedwa koyenera.
Kumbali ina, palinso zovuta zina zomwe muyenera kuziganiziranso, monga kudziimba mlandu, kudandaula, kusayanjidwa ndi banja, ndi zotsatirapo zomwe zingakhudze chikhutiro chaukwati ndi bata.
Pamapeto pake, kusankha kumaphatikizapo kuganizira za kusankha kwanu, kukonzeka m'maganizo, kulankhulana ndi okondedwa, ndi chitetezo, pamene mukuganizira malangizo ochokera kwa alangizi odalirika kapena atsogoleri achipembedzo.

Maganizo Final

Mudzamva nkhani zosiyanasiyana kuchokera kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Wina anganene kuti, “Ndinagonana ndisanakwatirane ndipo sizinawononge moyo wanga,” pamene wina angafune kuti adikire. Kusankha kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi nkhani yaumwini. M’mbiri yonse mpaka lerolino, ena amaumirira kusagonana mosamalitsa lamulo la ukwati lisanakhazikike, pamene ena amakhulupirira kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja si tchimo ngati muli paubwenzi wachikondi. Mwawonapo pali zabwino ndi zoyipa mbali zonse ziwiri.

Pamapeto pake, muyenera kuyesa zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu, kutengera zomwe mumakonda, kukonzeka kwanu, komanso ubale womwe mukufuna. Palibe yankho lokwanira m'modzi pano. Chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mumamva kuti ndinu olemekezeka, omasuka, komanso pa tsamba limodzi. Kaya mumatsatira malingaliro achikhristu pa kugonana musanalowe m'banja kapena kupanga malamulo anu, onetsetsani kuti chisankhocho chikugwirizana ndi zomwe mukufuna komanso kukhulupirira.

18 Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri Paubwenzi

Momwe Mungasungire Ubale Wosangalatsa Ndi Wosangalatsa Kwa Nthawi Yaitali

Mitundu Yosiyanasiyana Yakukopa Ndi Momwe Mungadziwire

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.