13 Ubwino Ndi Kuipa Kwa Kugonana Musanakwatirane

Kufalitsa chikondi

M'dziko lamakono, komwe, malinga ndi ziwerengero , pafupifupi 90% ya aku America amagonana asanakwatirane, kuchuluka kwa ubwenzi kumeneku muubwenzi kungawoneke ngati kwachilendo. Zoona zake n'zakuti, palibe yankho limodzi lokha. Ngakhale kwa anthu ambiri, kugonana musanakwatirane ndi gawo lachizolowezi la chibwenzi, pali ena omwe amatsutsana ndi zikhulupiriro kapena makhalidwe awo. Ngakhale malingaliro achikhalidwe akusintha, malingaliro achikhristu pa kugonana musanakwatirane ndi a zipembedzo zina amakhudzabe kwambiri malingaliro a anthu ambiri pankhaniyi.

Ngati mupeza kuti mwasankha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanu ndipo mukusemphana ndi zomwe mungachite kapena ayi, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni. Tiyeni tifufuze zachipembedzo ndi chikhalidwe cha kugonana musanalowe m'banja, zotsatira zake pa chibwenzi, ubwino ndi kuipa kwa chisankho, kuti mupange chisankho choyenera.

Kodi Kugonana Musanakwatirane Ndi Tchimo?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kaya kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi uchimo kumadalira kwambiri zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo ndi zaumwini. Miyambo yambiri ya zipembedzo, mwachitsanzo, maganizo achikristu pa nkhani ya kugonana asanalowe m’banja, imaphunzitsa kuti munthu asagonane asanalowe m’banja, ndipo amati kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo. Izi zitha kuyambitsa mkangano wamkati mwa munthu wokulirapo ndi zikhulupiriro izi yemwe amamvanso chilakolako chogonana. Kunena zoona, si onse amene amamasulira ziphunzitso zachipembedzo mofanana.

Anthu ena okhulupirira amanena kuti kugonana musanakwatirane si tchimo ngati kukuchitika muubwenzi wachikondi, wodzipereka , makamaka kuyang'ana kwambiri ubwino wa ubalewo osati tsiku la ukwati. Katswiri wa zaumulungu Dr. Richard Davidson akunena kuti, "Lingaliro la uchimo nthawi zambiri limapangidwa ndi chikhalidwe ndi nthawi, koma mfundo ya umphumphu wa makhalidwe abwino imakhalabe." Malingaliro okhudza uchimo amatha kusintha malinga ndi nkhani. Ngakhale mkati mwa Chikhristu, pali mkangano: Baibulo limatsutsa chigololo, koma silinena momveka bwino kuti, "Kugonana musanakwatirane ndi uchimo." Izi zimasiya malo otanthauzira.

Zimene Zikhulupiriro ndi Zikhalidwe Zosiyanasiyana Zimanena Zokhudza Kugonana Musanalowe M'banja

Infographic on Chikhulupiriro Ndi Kugonana Musanakwatirane — Chikhulupiriro ndi kugonana musanakwatirane

Maganizo okhudza kugonana musanakwatirane amasiyana kwambiri malinga ndi zikhulupiriro ndi zikhalidwe. Maganizo ambiri achikhalidwe ozikidwa pa chikhulupiriro amaona kugonana musanakwatirane ngati chinthu choletsedwa kapena chochimwa, ndipo amalimbikitsa kudzipulumutsa nokha kuti mukwatirane. Komabe, matanthauzidwe amakono amapereka malingaliro omasuka kwambiri, kutsindika chikumbumtima cha munthu, udindo wa kuvomereza , ndi miyambo yachikhalidwe.

Nthawi zambiri, madera osamala, kaŵirikaŵiri m’madera ena a Asia, Afirika, ndi Middle East, amatsatira mfundo zokhwima zodziletsa, pamene zikhalidwe za Azungu zayamba kuvomereza kugonana usanakwatire posachedwapa. Malingaliro osiyanasiyanawa akuwonetsa kusamvana pakati pa kusankha kwamunthu motsutsana ndi zikhalidwe zachikhalidwe pankhani ya ubwenzi wapamtima. Tiyeni tione zimene zipembedzo zosiyanasiyana zimanena pa nkhani ya kugonana musanalowe m’banja:

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Chikhristu: Chiphunzitso chachikristu chamwambo chimachirikiza mwamphamvu kudikira kufikira ukwati n’kugonana, nthaŵi zambiri chimati kugonana musanakwatirane ndi dama, tchimo. Mwachitsanzo, Tchalitchi cha Katolika chimaphunzitsa kuti “dama n’losemphana kwambiri ndi ulemu wa anthu ndiponso wa kugonana kwa anthu.” Apulotesitanti ndi Akatolika ambiri amalalikira kuti mudzipulumutse ku ukwati. Komabe, malingaliro amakono achikristu omasuka amasiyana. Akhristu ena amene akupita patsogolo amanena kuti Baibulo silimaletsa mosapita m’mbali kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndipo limangoganizira kwambiri za kudzipereka, kukhulupirirana, ndi makhalidwe abwino muubwenziwo. Poyeneradi, zofufuza amasonyeza Akristu ambiri masiku ano amavomereza kugonana m’maunansi odziŵika bwino asanalowe m’banja, kusonyeza kusintha kwa malamulo okhwima a chikhulupiriro n’kuyamba kutsatira chikumbumtima cha munthu aliyense.
Chisilamu: M’Chisilamu, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumaonedwa ngati haramu. Mchitidwewo umatengedwa kuti zina (dama) ndi tchimo lalikulu m’ziphunzitso zachipembedzo pa kugonana. Qur'an ndi Hadith zimatsindika za chiyero ndi kusunga ubwenzi wa banja. Pachikhalidwe, pali kutsindika kwakukulu pa kudzichepetsa, kudzipereka, ndi kulemekeza m'banja, ndi machitidwe monga kusankhana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi komanso palibe kukhalira limodzi musanakwatirane zomwe zimalimbikitsa izi. Chifukwa chake, magulu achisilamu ambiri amakhala ndi chiwopsezo chochepa cha kugonana asanakwatirane poyerekeza ndi magulu ena.
Chihindu: Malingaliro Achihindu pankhani ya kugonana asanakwatirane mwamwambo amakhala osamala, ngakhale kuti sali ogwirizana. Malemba achihindu akale a dharma amalimbikitsa brahmacharya (umbeta) paunyamata, kuyembekezera anthu kukhalabe odzisunga kufikira ukwati. Makhalidwe ogonana amamangiriridwa ku malingaliro a ntchito (dharma) ndi karma, ndipo m'mbiri, unamwali unali wofunika kwambiri. Mu India wamakono ndi diaspora, maganizo akusintha. Ahindu a m’matauni ndi akumadzulo amavomereza kwambiri chosankha chaumwini, komabe madera ambiri amaonabe kuti unansi wa ukwati usanakhale wotsutsana ndi zikhalidwe. Makamaka, kafukufuku wapadziko lonse amapeza kuti Ahindu ndi amodzi mwa omwe atha kuchita zogonana asanalowe m'banja, pomwe 19% okha ndi omwe amagonana nawo, malinga ndi m'modzi. kafukufuku
Chibuda: Chibuda sichikhala ndi lamulo lokhwima loletsa kugonana musanalowe m'banja, m'malo mwake limayang'ana zolinga ndi kupewa zoipa. Mfundo za makhalidwe abwino m’Chibuda zimalimbikitsa kupeŵa “chigololo,” chimene mwamwambo chimatanthawuza khalidwe lachigololo lodyera masuku pamutu monga chigololo kapena kugonana ndi munthu wazaka zing’onozing’ono kapena moumirizidwa. Mosiyana ndi zipembedzo zina, palibe lamulo lenileni lakuti kugonana kuyenera kuchitika munthu akakwatirana. M’malo mwake, Abuda amaphunzitsidwa kuchita zinthu modzichepetsa ndi kulingalira mu maubwenzi, kuphatikizapo zigawo zake zakugonana. Ngati maunansi a ukwati asanakwatirane ali achikondi, ogwirizana, ndipo samaphatikizapo kuperekedwa kapena kuvulaza, iwo kaŵirikaŵiri amawonedwa kukhala ovomerezeka m’matanthauzo ambiri Achibuda. M’zikhalidwe zina, mwachitsanzo, m’Chibuda cha ku China, lamulo limeneli limatengedwa mosamalitsa kutanthauza kusagonana kunja kwa ukwati.
Chiyuda: Malingaliro mu Chiyuda amayambira pamwambo kwambiri mpaka amakono komanso omasuka. Chiyuda cha Orthodox chimayembekeza kudziletsa mosamalitsa asanalowe m'banja. Kugonana ndi anthu okwatirana okha, ndipo kungokhala osagwirana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo musanalowe m’banja) kumachitidwa ndi anthu amene amaonetsetsa kwambiri. Lamulo lachiyuda lachiyuda (Halacha) limawona kugonana kosakwatirana kukhala kosayenera; kusunga ulemu (tzniut) ndi malamulo a ukhondo wa m'banja ndizofunikira kwambiri. Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, Chiyuda cha Reform, Liberal, ndi Reconstructionist Chiyuda chimachita zinthu zolekerera. Mayendedwe amakonowa samadziona ngati omangidwa ndi malamulo onse okhudzana ndi kugonana ndipo nthawi zambiri amavomereza maubwenzi asanakwatirane malinga ngati ali ogwirizana komanso achikondi.
Makhalidwe Achikhalidwe: Kakhalidwe ka anthu pankhani ya kugonana asanalowe m’banja kaŵirikaŵiri kamafanana ndi zikhalidwe zachipembedzo ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu. M’maiko ambiri a Kumadzulo, kugonana usanakwatire kwakhala kovomerezedwa mofala m’zaka za m’ma theka lapitalo. Secularization ndi kusintha kwa kugonana kunayambitsa kutsindika kwakukulu pa ufulu wa munthu ndi kuyanjana kwa kugonana. Kumbali ina, zikhalidwe zambiri za ku Asia, Afirika, ndi ku Middle East zikukhalabe zosamala kwambiri pankhani imeneyi, nthaŵi zambiri chifukwa cha miyambo yachipembedzo ndi ya anthu onse. Kusiyana kumeneku kumabweretsa zokumana nazo zosiyanasiyana. Mwachitsanzo, okwatirana a ku America kapena ku Ulaya akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi kwa zaka zambiri ndipo ngakhale kukhalira limodzi, ndi kuvomerezedwa ndi anthu, pamene m'madera osamala kwambiri, khalidwe lotere lingayambitse chilango.

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Kodi Kugonana Musanakwatirane Kumakhudza Bwanji Ubwenzi?

Kodi kugonana pakati pa anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi kumakhudza ubale wabwino kapena woipa? Palibe yankho lililonse. Kwa okwatirana ena, kugonana asanalowe m’banja kumalimbitsa ubwenzi wawo. Kwa ena, zimabweretsa mikangano kapena kukayikira mu mphamvu. Kugonana kumatulutsa mahomoni olumikizana monga oxytocin omwe amakulitsa kulumikizana, zomwe zingakufikitseni pafupi. Koma ngati chibwenzicho chikulephereka pambuyo pa kugonana, kusweka mtima kungakhale kokulirapo. Ngakhale kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungatsegule zitseko za kumvetsetsana ndi kulankhulana bwino, kungathenso kusokoneza maganizo.

" Kukondana mwakuthupi kungapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuwona zizindikiro zowopsa za ubale chifukwa mgwirizano wamaganizo umakonda kugonjetsa malingaliro anzeru."
—Esther Perel, katswiri wa maubwenzi

Pamapeto pake, momwe kugonana kumakhudzira ubale wanu zimatengera zomwe onse awiri amayendera, momwe amalumikizirana, komanso momwe maziko ake alili olimba.

Ubwino 13 Wogonana Usanakwatire

Monga momwe mungadziwire panopa, kugonana musanalowe m'banja kungakhale kosangalatsa kwambiri, komwe kuli ndi ubwino ndi zovuta zambiri. Ubwino uwu umapitirira kupitirira chisangalalo chakuthupi ndipo umakhudza kulumikizana kwamaganizo ndi kukhutira ndi ubale. Tiyeni tiwone zabwino 13 zomwe zingakhalepo pakugonana musanalowe m'banja kuti timvetse momwe:

1. Kumvetsetsa momwe mumagonana

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumakupatsani mwayi wodziwa kuti ndinu munthu wotani. Pokhala paubwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukhulupirira, mumaphunzira zomwe mumakonda, zomwe simukonda, komanso malire anu. Kudzidziwa nokha kungapangitse moyo wogonana wabwino m'banja, chifukwa mudzatha kufotokozera zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mumakonda kwa mnzanuyo.

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2. Kupeza chidziwitso ndi luso logonana

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungakuthandizeni kuti mukhale ndi chidaliro komanso luso lanu m’chipinda chogona. Monga ntchito iliyonse, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumathandiza. Mumaphunzira kulankhulana nkhani zokhudza kugonana komanso kumvetsa zosowa za wina ndi mnzake. Chitonthozo ndi chokumana nachochi chikhoza kupangitsa moyo wogonana wokhutiritsa, wochepa wovuta.

3. Kuyesa kugwilizana ndi kugonana

malingaliro a chikhalidwe pa kugonana musanakwatirane — Dziwani ngati inu ndi mnzanu mumagwirizana bwino pabedi

Kugwirizana pa kugonana n'kofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale osangalala kwa nthawi yayitali. Kugonana musanakwatirane kumakupatsani mwayi wodziwa ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli bwino pabedi, zomwe simungathe kuziyeza bwino popanda kuyesa. Monga momwe munthu wina adasekera pa Reddit , “Kodi mungagule galimoto popanda kuyesa kuyiyendetsa?” Kuonetsetsa kuti mwadina pamanja kungalepheretse zodabwitsa zosayembekezereka pambuyo pake.

4. Kuzindikira mavuto omwe angakhalepo msanga

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungavumbulutse mavuto okhudza kugonana kapena kusamvana msanga. Mutha kupeza kusagwirizana kwakukulu mu libido kapena nkhani zina zapamtima. Ndi bwino kudziŵa zimenezi musanalowe m’banja, kuti muthe kuzithetsa kapenanso kuziganiziranso, kusiyana n’kuchitiridwa khungu pambuyo pake.

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5. Kukulitsa ubwenzi wapamtima

Ubwenzi wakuthupi nthawi zambiri umakulitsa mgwirizano wamalingaliro pakati pa okwatirana. Kukhulupirira munthu amene ali pachiopsezo chanu mwanjira imeneyo kungawonjezere chikondi ndi kuyandikana komwe mumagawana. Mabanja ambiri amamva kuti ali ogwirizana komanso "ogwirizana" atatha kugonana.

6. Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana pakati pa okondedwa

Kaya mukhulupirire kapena ayi, kugonana kungathandize kuti mulankhule bwino ngati banja . Kukhala paubwenzi kumafuna kukambirana momasuka za zosowa ndi malire. Mwa kuchita zokambirana zoona m'chipinda chogona, maanja ambiri amaona kuti n'kosavuta kulankhulana za zinthu zina. Mwachidule, ngati mungathe kulankhula za kugonana, mutha kulankhula za chilichonse. Ndipo zimenezo zimalimbitsa chikhulupiriro.

7. Kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa kugonana ndi nkhawa

Kudikirira mpaka m'banja kungayambitse mavuto ndi nkhawa zambiri "nthawi yoyamba". Kukhala wapamtima ukwati usanachitike kumachotsa chosadziwika chachikulu. Simudzakhala ndi zovuta zonse zogwirira ntchito usiku umodzi, ndipo mutha kudutsa zovuta zilizonse zoyambirira. Mukadzalowa m'banja, kugonana kumakhala komasuka komanso kwachibadwa.

8. Kupewa maukwati othamanga “chifukwa chongogonana”

momwe mungasankhire za kugonana musanalowe m’banja — Mutha kukwatiwa chifukwa chofanana

Anthu ena amakwatira mopupuluma makamaka pofuna kugonana. Ngati kugonana musanalowe m’banja n’koletsedwa, sipangakhale chikakamizo chothamangira m’banja pazifukwa zakuthupi. Mutha kutenga nthawi yanu ndikukwatiwa zikamveka bwino. Osati chifukwa mukuyesera kuti mukhale osakwatira. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mutha kukwatiwa chifukwa cha chikondi komanso kuyenererana, osati kungolembetsa mwalamulo kugonana.

9. Kuonetsetsa kuti zolinga za wokondedwa wanu ndi zenizeni

Kugonana musanakwatirane kungakhale ngati njira yopezera zolinga zoipa. Ngati wina akungofuna kugonana nanu , angataye chidwi chake akangochita zimenezo. N'zopweteka, koma ndibwino kudziwa musanakwatirane. Mnzanu amene amakukondanidi adzakhala nanu pafupi ndipo adzakukondani kwambiri mukadzakwatirana, osati kuzimiririka.

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10. Kusangalala ndi mpumulo wa nkhawa

Tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo izi: kugonana ndi kosangalatsa, ndipo ndi phindu loyenera kuyesa. Ndiwothandiza kwambiri kuthetsa nkhawa. Kukondana kwakuthupi kumayambitsa mahomoni omva bwino omwe amachepetsa kupsinjika ndikuwonjezera kukhumudwa. Maanja ambiri amapeza kuti kusangalala ndi moyo wogonana wabwino asanalowe m'banja kumawafikitsa pafupi ndikuwathandiza kumasuka limodzi.

11. Kudzimva kukhala wamphamvu komanso kudzidalira

Kusankha kuchita zogonana ndi zofuna zanu zokha kungakhale kopatsa mphamvu. Mukuyang'anira thupi lanu ndi zosankha zanu, m'malo molola kuti lamulo lifotokoze kufunika kwanu. Anthu ambiri (makamaka akazi) amakhala odzidalira komanso omasuka ngati satenga unamwali ngati chikho. Kukumbatira kugonana kwanu popanda manyazi kumatha kukulitsa kudzidalira kwanu ndikukupangani kukhala bwenzi lodalirika.

12. Palibe chidwi cha "bwanji-ngati" chomwe chatsalira

kuipa kwa kugonana musanalowe m’banja — N'zosadabwitsa kuti kugonana kungakhale kotani ndi munthu wina

Kugonana musanakwatirane kungathetse chidwi. Ngati muli ndi zochitika zogonana, simudzadabwa kuti kugonana ndi munthu wina kumakhala bwanji mukakwatirana. Mkazi wina amene wakhala ndi akazi ake akale anati pa Reddit , “Ndikudziwanso zomwe ndikusowa komanso zomwe sindikusowa padziko lapansi. Zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kudziwa kuti ndasankha mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino amene ndikusangalala kukhala naye.”

13. Kulimbitsa chikhulupiriro mwa kukhala pachiwopsezo

Kugonana kungapangitse kuti anthu azikhulupirirana. Kukhala paubwenzi kumatanthauza kukhala osatetezeka, ndipo ngati musamalirana, kumabweretsa chitetezo champhamvu. Mumaphunzira kulemekeza malire ndi zosowa za wina ndi mnzake pamlingo waumwini. Monga momwe katswiri waubwenzi Dr. John Gottman akunenera, "Kudalirana kumapangidwa munthawi zazing'ono." Kugawana nthawi zachikondi musanayambe ukwati kungathandize kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba.

Ubwino Wogonana Usanakwatire	Kuipa Kugonana Musanakwatirane
Kumvetsetsa za kugonana kwanu	Mlandu wachipembedzo kapena wamakhalidwe
Kupeza chidziwitso chogonana ndi luso	Zokhumudwitsa zomwe zingatheke
Kuyesa kugwilizana ndi kugonana	Kusweka mtima kwambiri pambuyo pakutha
Kuzindikira zovuta zomwe zingatheke msanga	Kuopsa kwa mimba ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana
Kukulitsa ubwenzi wapamtima	Kumva kukakamizidwa kapena kugwiritsidwa ntchito
Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana pakati pa okondedwa	Kusavomerezedwa ndi banja kapena pagulu
Kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa kugonana ndi nkhawa	Kufananiza ndi katundu wakale
Kupewa maukwati othamangitsidwa "chifukwa chogonana"	Chiweruzo chikhoza kutsekedwa ndi kugonana
Kuwonetsetsa kuti zolinga za mnzanu ndi zenizeni	Kuthekera kwa kusamvana kwa ubale
Kusangalala ndi mpumulo wa nkhawa	Zikhoza kuyambitsa mkangano ngati makhalidwe asiyana
Kudzimva kukhala wamphamvu komanso kudzidalira	Zingapangitse kuti banja likhale losangalala
Palibe chidwi cha "bwanji-ngati" chomwe chatsalira	Kudziimba mlandu kosalekeza kapena kudzidalira
Kupanga chikhulupiriro kudzera pachiwopsezo	Chovuta kusiya ubale woyipa

13 Kugonana musanalowe m'banja

Palibe chisankho chomwe chilibe zoopsa. Ndikofunikira kuganiziranso mavuto omwe angabwere chifukwa chogonana musanalowe m'banja. Nazi mavuto 13 omwe angabwere chifukwa chogonana musanalowe m'banja :

1. Liwongo lachipembedzo kapena lakhalidwe

Ngati munaphunzitsidwa kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo, kuphwanya lamuloli kungachititse munthu kudziimba mlandu komanso kuchita manyazi kwambiri. Mutha kumverera kuti mwafooketsa chikhulupiriro chanu kapena banja lanu. Mkangano wamakhalidwe woterewu ukhoza kukulepheretsani kukhala pa ubwenzi wabwino ndi munthu wina mpaka kukuchititsani kukhala kovuta kusangalala ndi ubwenzi pambuyo pake.

2. Zonong'oneza bondo

Anthu ena pambuyo pake amadandaula kuti anagonana asanakwatirane, makamaka ngati sanali ndi mnzawo wa nthawi zonse. Amaona kuti anapereka chinthu chapadera kwa munthu wolakwika. Ponena za kutaya unamwali wawo kwa munthu amene sanakhalitse, munthu wina pa Reddit anavomereza kuti, “Ndinamva chisoni nditazindikira kuti zinali zopusa.” Ngati nthawi zonse mumafuna kuti ukwati wanu ukhale nthawi yanu yoyamba, mungadandaule chifukwa cha kutayika kwa nthawi imeneyo yomwe simunakumanepo nayo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubwenzi Wapamtima: Chifukwa Chiyani Ndi Wofunika Mu Ukwati Ndi Ubale?

3. Kusweka mtima kwambiri pambuyo pa kupatukana

Kugonana kumapangitsa kuti anthu azigwirizana kwambiri. Ngati ubwenziwo ukutha, ubwenzi umenewo ungapangitse kuti kusweka mtima kukhale kovuta kwambiri. Anthu ambiri amaona kuti kupatukana kumapweteka kwambiri atakhala pachibwenzi. Kukhumudwa kwamalingaliro nthawi zambiri kumakhala kokulirapo chifukwa mudagawana nawo kulumikizana kwanuko. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, mutha kukhala ndi malingaliro akuya otayika ndikupwetekedwa pamene chibwenzi chitatha.

4. Kuopsa kwa mimba ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana

ngozi zogonana musanalowe m’banja — Ngakhale ndi njira zonse zotetezera, kugonana kuli ndi zoopsa zina

Nthawi iliyonse mukagonana, pamakhala chiopsezo chotenga mimba, ngakhale mutagwiritsa ntchito njira zolerera. Mimba yosakonzekera ingayambitse mavuto aakulu amaganizo komanso azachuma, makamaka ngati simunakonzekere kukhala kholo. Palinso chiopsezo cha matenda opatsirana pogonana (STIs). Chitetezo ndi kuyezetsa magazi kumachepetsa mwayi, koma palibe njira iliyonse yomwe ili 100%. Kuthana ndi mwana wosayembekezereka kapena vuto la thanzi kungapangitse moyo wanu ndi ubale wanu musanalowe m'banja.

5. Kumva kukakamizidwa kapena kugwiritsidwa ntchito

Kuyambitsa kugonana nthawi zina kungayambitse kusamvana muubwenzi. Mnzake wina angakakamizidwe kugwirizana nawo asanakonzekeredi, zomwe zingawachititse kudziimba mlandu kapena kuipidwa. Kumbali inayi, anthu ena amataya ulemu kapena chidwi akapeza zomwe akufuna mwakuthupi, ndikusiya winayo amadziona kuti ndi wogwiritsidwa ntchito kapena wosafunika. Ngati kugonana kumachitika popanda kudzipereka kofanana, kungayambitse kupweteka kwambiri.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Perekani Mpata Wogonana! Zinthu 13 Zokhudza Osati Zogonana Kuti Muzimva Kukhala Paubwenzi Ndi Pafupi

6. Kusavomerezedwa ndi banja kapena anthu ena

M'mabanja ndi zikhalidwe zina, kugonana musanakwatirane n'koletsedwa kwambiri. Ngati makolo kapena anthu ammudzi adziwa izi, mungakumane ndi mkwiyo, kukhumudwa, kapena manyazi. Mungamve kuti mukukakamizika kunama kapena kubisa mbali zina za moyo wanu. Kuweruza kwamtunduwu kungakhale kovuta kwambiri ndipo kungasokoneze ubale wanu ndi mnzanu komanso okondedwa anu.

7. Kufananiza ndi katundu wakale

Kukhala ndi ogonana nawo kale kungayambitse nsanje kapena kusadzidalira muukwati. Inu kapena mnzanu mungadziyerekezere ndi akale a wina ndi mnzake, kapena kusasangalala podziwa kuti simunali oyamba a wina ndi mnzake. Zochitika zakale zogonana nazonso zingabweretse mavuto amalingaliro , kaya ndi zokumbukira kapena kupweteka. Zonsezi zingayambitse mavuto okhulupirirana kapena kuganiza kuti ubale wanu ndi "wapadera" pang'ono, zomwe zingasokoneze ubale wanu.

8. Chiweruzo chikhoza kuphimbidwa ndi kugonana

ubwino wa kugonana musanakwatirane — Mutha kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira mwa mnzanu

Kugonana kwakukulu kungapangitse kuweruza kwanu. Kuchuluka kwaubwenzi kungakupangitseni kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira kapena zosagwirizana. Mutha kukhala pachibwenzi choyipa nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe muyenera kuchitira chifukwa choti mgwirizano wakuthupi ndi wamphamvu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kukhala ogonana kungapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuwona zolakwika za mnzako ndi kupanga zisankho zomveka pa chiyanjano.

9. Kuthekera kwa kusamvana pa ubale

Kuchita zogonana nthawi zina kumatha kusokoneza chidwi cha ubale. Okwatirana angayambe kudalira kugonana kuti akhale oyandikana kapena kuti athetse mavuto, m'malo moyesetsa kulankhulana mozama. Ndikosavuta kuthera nthawi yambiri mukugonana kuposa kumanga ubale wanu. Ngati mbali ya thupi itenga mphamvu, zinthu zina zofunika monga ubwenzi kapena zolinga zogawana zikhoza kunyalanyazidwa, zomwe sizili bwino kwa ubale wautali.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Maganizo a Kugonana Asintha Bwanji M'zaka 40 Zapitazi?

10. Zitha kuyambitsa mikangano ngati mikhalidwe isiyana

Kugonana musanakwatirane kungayambitse mkangano waukulu ngati inu ndi mnzanu muli ndi zikhulupiriro zosiyana pankhaniyi. Mayi wina wachikhristu yemwe adagonana ndi chibwenzi chake chosakhulupirira Mulungu adagawana pa Reddit kuti, "Ndikusangalala kuti anali woyamba wanga. NDIPONSO, ndikumva chisoni chifukwa pali malingaliro akuluakulu otsutsana omwe timawakhulupirira omwe amasokoneza tsogolo lathu." Anamukonda, koma kusiyana kwa makhalidwe awo kunapangitsa kuti zinthu zikhale zovuta. Ngati mmodzi wa inu akuona kuti kugonana musanakwatirane n'kolakwika ndipo winayo sakuona choncho, kungayambitse kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa, wokwiya, kapena wosakhulupirirana muukwatiwu.

11. Zingapangitse kuti banja likhale losangalala

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti pali kugwirizana koipa pakati pa kugonana musanakwatirane ndi kupambana kwa ukwati. Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti anthu omwe anali ndi zibwenzi zambiri asanakwatirane anali ndi mwayi waukulu wosudzulana kuposa omwe analibe kapena mmodzi yekha. Kukhala ndi "mbiri yakale yogonana" nthawi yayitali kungabweretse zizolowezi kapena ziyembekezo zomwe zingawononge ukwati wamtsogolo. Ngakhale kuti ili si lamulo la anthu onse, ndi chizolowezi chomwe nthawi zambiri chimatchulidwa m'makambirano okhudza kudikira ndi kusadikira.

12. Kudziimba mlandu nthawi zonse kapena kudzidalira

Kupatula kudzimva kuti ndiwe wolakwa nthawi yomweyo, kugonana musanakwatirane kungakhale ndi zotsatirapo za nthawi yayitali monga kudziona ngati wosafunika kwa anthu ena. Ngati munaleredwa kuti muyerekeze kuti unamwali ndi chiyero, mungavutike kudzimva ngati "wodetsedwa" kapena wosafunika pambuyo pake, ngakhale mutagwirizana ndi maganizo anu. Manyazi amkati awa akhoza kukhalapobe ndikukhudza thanzi lanu la maganizo komanso moyo wanu wogonana mtsogolo. Mwachitsanzo, wina angavutike kusangalala ndi ubale wapamtima ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake pambuyo pake chifukwa mumtima mwake amamva kuti anawononga chiyero chawo posadikira.

13. Chovuta kwambiri kusiya ubale woyipa

kugonana musanakwatirane kumakhudza ukwati — Kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakhale kovuta

Kugonana kungakhale ngati guluu womwe umakupangitsani kumva kuti mwakondana kwambiri ndi chibwenzi, ngakhale chitakhala choipa. Mukayamba chibwenzi, zingakuvuteni kusiya chibwenzi ndi munthu amene simukumukonda. Nthawi zina anthu amakhalabe pachibwenzi choopsa kwa nthawi yayitali chifukwa sakufuna "kuwononga" ubale wawo wogonana, kapena amada nkhawa kuti sadzapezanso ubalewo. Mwanjira imeneyi, kugonana musanakwatirane kungapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuchoka pamene inu simukanatero.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungatani Kuti Musamachite Zogonana Popanda Kumuvulaza?

Momwe Mungasankhire Ngati Kugonana Musanalowe M'banja Ndikoyenera Kwa Inu

Kusankha kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi chosankha chaumwini. Palibe yankho lofanana ndi limodzi. Zimatengera zomwe mumakonda, zikhulupiriro zanu, kukonzekera kwamalingaliro, komanso momwe zinthu zilili pamoyo wanu. Ndikofunikira kuunika malingaliro ozikidwa pa chikhulupiliro kapena zoyembekeza za chikhalidwe ndi malingaliro anu. Lingaliro liyenera kukhazikitsidwa pa zomwe zili zoyenera kwa inu ndi ubale wanu. Nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuziganizira kuti musankhe ngati kudikirira mpaka kulowa m'banja kapena kusadikirira kumagwirizana bwino ndi chikhalidwe chanu:

1. Muziganiziranso mfundo zimene mumayendera

Pezani nthawi yodzipenda moona mtima zikhulupiriro zanu, osati zachipembedzo zokha, komanso zachikhalidwe, ndi zaumwini. Dzifunseni nokha momwe kugonana tsopano kukugwirizana ndi makhalidwe anu kapena maganizo anu ozikidwa pa chikhulupiriro. Ngati munaphunzitsidwa kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja ndi tchimo kapena n’koletsedwa, ganizirani ngati mukuvomerezana ndi mmene kuswa kapena kutsatira mwambowo kungakupangitseni kumva.

Maleredwe anu ndi zikhalidwe zanu zikhoza kukukhudzani, koma kumbukirani kuti ichi ndi chisankho chanu. Kuwonetsetsa kuti chisankho chanu chikugwirizana ndi chikumbumtima chanu komanso chitonthozo chanu kudzakuthandizani kupewa mikangano yamkati kapena kudziimba mlandu. Dziwani momwe mumaonera kusankha kwanu motsutsana ndi miyambo yachikhalidwe ndipo lolani izi zikutsogolereni kuti chilichonse chomwe mungafune, mukhale nacho pamtendere.

2, Kambiranani ndi bwenzi lanu

kukhudzidwa mtima kwa kugonana musanalowe m'banja — Dziwani zomwe nonse mumayimilira pankhani yogonana musanalowe m'banja

Kulankhulana momasuka n'kofunika kwambiri musanayambe kugonana. Kambiranani ndi mnzanu za zomwe wina ndi mnzake akuyembekezera, malire ake, ndi zomwe kugonana kumatanthauza kwa inu nonse. Onetsetsani kuti muli ndi lingaliro lofanana pankhaniyi. Mwachitsanzo, kodi nonse mumaona kugonana ngati gawo losavuta la kukhala limodzi komanso kukhala paubwenzi, kapena ngati sitepe yosonyeza kudzipereka kwakukulu? Kufotokozera momveka bwino izi ndikofunikira, kuti aliyense wa inu asamve kuti waperekedwa kapena kudyedwa. Ndikofunikanso kuti,

Kambiranani malire othandiza. Mwachitsanzo, okwatirana ena amaika malire ngati atangopanga chinkhoswe kapena ayi kufikira atapangana pangano.
Dziwani momveka bwino za chilolezo ndi chitonthozo. Mwina munganene kuti, “Ndikufuna kuti tigwirizane kuti kugonana kungatanthauze chiyani paubwenzi wathu.”
Onetsetsani kuti nonse mukulemekeza malire a wina ndi mnzake

Maanja omwe amalankhulana moona mtima pankhani yogonana amakonda kukhala ndi ubale wabwino, kaya adikire kapena ayi. Kulankhulana bwino tsopano kudzakhazikitsa kamvekedwe ka momwe mungathanirane ndi chibwenzi ndi mikangano pambuyo pake.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mphamvu ndi Kufunika kwa Kugonana Mu Ubwenzi

3. Unikani kukonzeka kwamalingaliro

Kupatula pa chikondi kapena chikhumbo chakuthupi, yesani kukonzekera kwanu m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo pogonana. Kukhala “wokonzeka” kumatanthauza kudzimva kukhala wosungika, osati kuda nkhaŵa kapena kukakamizidwa, ponena za kukhala wapamtima. Dzifunseni nokha ngati mukuganiza zogonana pazifukwa zoyenera. “Kodi ndimaganiza zogonana chifukwa chofuna kutero, kapena chifukwa chakuti ‘ndiyenera’?” Ngati mukumva mantha, mantha, kapena olakwa pamaganizowo, fufuzani chifukwa chake. Ndi zachilendo kukhala ndi jitters, koma kupitilirabe mantha kapena kuganiza kuti "ndizolakwika" kwa inu kungatanthauze kuti simunakonzekerebe.

Kukonzekera m'malingaliro kumaphatikizanso kukonzekera zotulukapo zomwe zingachitike: kodi mudzamva kukhala oyandikana kwambiri, kapena munganong'oneze bondo? Onetsetsani kuti simukuchita izi kuti muthetse vuto la chibwenzi kapena kuti musunge wokondedwa wanu. Awa ndi mbendera zofiira zomwe mukunena kuti inde kugonana pazifukwa zolakwika. Ganiziraninso za thanzi lanu komanso zosowa zanu zapamtima. Ngati muli ndi zowawa zam'mbuyo kapena kukayikira zamphamvu zamakhalidwe, izi ziyenera kuthandizidwa poyamba. Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: osagonana chifukwa chokakamizidwa kapena ngati "ntchito."

4. Yezerani kuopsa ndi chitetezo

Kugonana ndi munthu amene ali ndi udindo komanso zoopsa zenizeni. Yang'anani bwino zotsatira zake komanso momwe mungathanirane nazo. Funso lofunika kudzifunsa ndi ili: “Kodi ndili wokonzeka kuthana ndi zotsatira zosayembekezereka za kugonana monga mimba, matenda opatsirana pogonana (STI), kapena kusasangalala ndi mnzanga?” Ngati mwasankha kugonana musanalowe m'banja, kugonana kotetezeka sikungakambiranedwe. Kugwiritsa ntchito chitetezo monga makondomu kapena madamu a mano komanso mwina njira yodalirika yolerera kudzateteza thanzi lanu lakuthupi komanso kubereka kwanu mtsogolo.

Panthawi imodzimodziyo, muyenera kuganizira za kuopsa kwa maganizo ndi ubale. Nthawi zina kugonana kungasinthe machitidwe a chiyanjano. Kwa ena, zimakulitsa ubwenzi. Kwa ena, zimatha kuyambitsa mikangano yatsopano. Onetsetsani kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mwakonzeka kuthana ndi kusintha kumeneku pakudzipereka ndi kudalira. Pokonzekera chitetezo, mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo, mutha kupanga kugonana musanalowe m'banja kukhala chisankho chabwino, chodalirika ngati mutasankha kupitiriza.

5. Funsani chitsogozo ngati chikufunika

Ngati mwang'ambika kapena simukudziwa, kumbukirani kuti simuyenera kusankha nokha. Kufunafuna malangizo kuchokera kwa munthu wina wodalirika kungapereke zomveka. Kutengera ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, malangizowa atha kuchokera kwa mtsogoleri wachipembedzo, yemwe angathe kugawana nzeru zachipembedzo mopanda kuweruza, kapena kuchokera kwa mlangizi kapena sing'anga yemwe amadziwa bwino za ubale ndi kugonana.

Kulankhula ndi phungu, mwamuna ndi mkazi okalamba amene mumam’khulupirira, kapena wachibale wanu wapamtima angathandizenso. Iwo sangakupatseni yankho la “inde kapena ayi”, koma akhoza kukuthandizani kufufuza malingaliro anu ndi zosankha zanu. Ndithudi, malangizo awo angakutsogolereni. Pamapeto pake, chisankho ndi chanu. Koma ngati mwasokonezeka kapena mukuda nkhawa, kuyesetsa kuti muyenerere udindo ndi chinthu chanzeru.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi tchimo nthawi zonse?

Zimatengera amene mukufunsa. M’miyambo yambiri ya zipembedzo, kugonana munthu asanalowe m’banja kumaonedwa kuti ndi uchimo. Malingaliro ozikidwa pa chikhulupiriro ameneŵa amaona kukana monga kumvera malamulo a Mulungu. Komabe, kunja kwa zipembedzo zokhwima, kugonana musanalowe m'banja sikungowoneka ngati tchimo. Choncho, ayi, si nthawi zonse tchimo pamaso pa aliyense. Kaya kumalingaliridwa kukhala uchimo kumabwera chifukwa cha zikhulupiriro zanu zachipembedzo ndi kaonedwe kanu ka makhalidwe.

2. Kodi kudikira kumathandiza kuti banja likhale losangalala?

Palibe yankho lotsimikizika. Lingaliro ndiloti kudikira kungapangitse kuti mukhulupirire, kuonetsetsa kuti mfundo zanu zikugwirizana, ndi kupewa kufananiza, zomwe zingabweretse chisangalalo chachikulu m'banja. Kudikirira kungatanthauzenso kuti mulowa m'banja mulibe zotengera zambiri kapena zovuta zakale. Komabe, ena amatsutsa kuti kuyanjana kwa kugonana ndiko chigawo chachikulu cha chimwemwe chokhalitsa. Ndipo simungadziwe ngati mukugonana ndi munthu wina pokhapokha mutagonana. Chifukwa chake kusadikira kungathandize maanja ena kuwonetsetsa kuti ndi ogwirizana kwambiri, mwina kuwongolera ubale wawo. Chikhutiro chaukwati chimasonkhezeredwa ndi zinthu zambiri, monga kulankhulana, chikondi, thanzi labwino la maganizo ndi ubwenzi wapamtima, ndalama, ndiponso kaya munadikira kapena ayi ndi nkhani imodzi chabe ya vuto.

3. Kodi kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungawononge ubwenzi?

Kugonana musanalowe m’banja sikungowononga ubwenzi wabwino koma nkhani yake ndi mmene anthu akumvera zimafunika kwambiri. Ngati okwatirana onse akuchifuna, kukondana, ndi kulankhulana bwino, kukhala waubwenzi kungalimbikitse unansi wawo ndi kukulitsa unansi wawo. Komabe, mavuto amadza ngati kugonana kumachitika m'mikhalidwe yosayenera. Mwachitsanzo, ngati wina akumva kuti wapanikizidwa kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza kapena ngati zikuphwanya mfundo zazikulu za mnzako zomwe zimamupangitsa kudziimba mlandu. Ngati okwatirana ali ndi ziyembekezo zosiyana, zingayambitse kusweka mtima kapena kusakhulupirirana.

4. Bwanji ngati wokondedwa wanga akufuna kugonana asanalowe m’banja koma ine sindikufuna?

Njira yokhayo yothetsera kusamvana kumeneku ndi kulankhulana moona mtima ndi ulemu. Choyamba, dziwani kuti muli ndi ufulu wodikira ngati simunakonzekere ndipo mnzanu wachikondi angalemekeze zimenezo. Khalani pansi ndi mnzanuyo ndipo mokoma mtima mufotokoze maganizo anu ndi zifukwa zanu. Pamodzi, mutha kukambilana zomwe ubwenzi umatanthauza kwa aliyense wa inu ndikupeza njira zina zokhalira oyandikana. Ngati mnzanuyo sangavomereze lingaliro lanu lodikirira ndikukukakamizani mosalekeza kapena kukupalamulani, ndiye mbendera yofiira. Mungafunike kuulingaliranso ubalewo.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Kaya kugonana musanalowe m’banja kumaonedwa ngati tchimo kumadalira kwambiri ziphunzitso zachipembedzo zokhudza kugonana, zikhulupiriro zaumwini, ndi miyambo ya chikhalidwe, ndi malingaliro kuyambira kudziletsa kotheratu kufikira kuvomereza momasuka.
Pa maubwenzi, kugonana musanalowe m’banja kungachititse kuti muzikondana kwambiri, muzilankhulana bwino komanso kuti muzigwirizana pogonana, koma kumakhalanso pachiwopsezo chodziimba mlandu, kusweka mtima, kapena mikangano ngati zikhalidwe zisemphana.
Ubwino wa kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi monga kulimbikitsa, kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa, kulimbikitsana, komanso kuyesedwa koyenera.
Kumbali ina, palinso zovuta zina zomwe muyenera kuziganiziranso, monga kudziimba mlandu, kudandaula, kusayanjidwa ndi banja, ndi zotsatirapo zomwe zingakhudze chikhutiro chaukwati ndi bata.
Pamapeto pake, kusankha kumaphatikizapo kuganizira za kusankha kwanu, kukonzeka m'maganizo, kulankhulana ndi okondedwa, ndi chitetezo, pamene mukuganizira malangizo ochokera kwa alangizi odalirika kapena atsogoleri achipembedzo.

Maganizo Final

Mudzamva nkhani zosiyanasiyana kuchokera kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Wina anganene kuti, “Ndinagonana ndisanakwatirane ndipo sizinawononge moyo wanga,” pamene wina angafune kuti adikire. Kusankha kugonana musanalowe m'banja ndi nkhani yaumwini. M’mbiri yonse mpaka lerolino, ena amaumirira kusagonana mosamalitsa lamulo la ukwati lisanakhazikike, pamene ena amakhulupirira kuti kugonana musanalowe m’banja si tchimo ngati muli paubwenzi wachikondi. Mwawonapo pali zabwino ndi zoyipa mbali zonse ziwiri.

Pamapeto pake, muyenera kuyesa zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu, kutengera zomwe mumakonda, kukonzeka kwanu, komanso ubale womwe mukufuna. Palibe yankho lokwanira m'modzi pano. Chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mumamva kuti ndinu olemekezeka, omasuka, komanso pa tsamba limodzi. Kaya mumatsatira malingaliro achikhristu pa kugonana musanalowe m'banja kapena kupanga malamulo anu, onetsetsani kuti chisankhocho chikugwirizana ndi zomwe mukufuna komanso kukhulupirira.

18 Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri Paubwenzi

Momwe Mungasungire Ubale Wosangalatsa Ndi Wosangalatsa Kwa Nthawi Yaitali

Mitundu Yosiyanasiyana Yakukopa Ndi Momwe Mungadziwire

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.