Zifukwa 15 zapamwamba zokhalirabe muubwenzi

Kufalitsa chikondi

Zifukwa zokhalira pachibwenzi zitha kukhala zosiyana kwa banja lililonse. Kwa ena, kungakhale kumverera kwa agulugufe m'mimba komwe amapeza nthawi iliyonse akawona wokondedwa wawo. Kwa ena, zitha kukhala zovuta zakugonana zomwe sizingatheke kuyang'ana kale. Ngati mwatsimikiza kuti chimodzi mwazinthuzi ndi chifukwa chokwanira chokhalira pachibwenzi, nkhaniyi ndi yanu. Ngakhale chifukwa chabwino chokhalira pachibwenzi chingasiyane kutengera yemwe mumamufunsa, zabwino kwambiri nthawi zambiri zimakhala zokhazikika, momwe ziyenera kukhalira.

Mukuda nkhawa ngati muli ndi vutoli pazifukwa zoyenera? Mukufuna kudziwa ngati zifukwa zanu zokhala ndi munthu wina ndi zabwino komanso zolimba? Tiyeni tikuthandizeni kupeza yankho la chifukwa chake wina ayenera kukhalabe pachibwenzi ndi thandizo la katswiri wa zamaganizo Devleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), yemwe anayambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi chithandizo cha mabanja.

Zifukwa 15 zapamwamba zokhalirabe muubwenzi

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Ngati munadzifunsapo kuti, “Kodi ndiyenera kukhalabe muubwenzi umenewu?”, mwina mwada nkhawa chifukwa chakuti maganizo amenewo anabuka. Ubale wabwino suyenera kukupangitsani kufunsa, sichoncho? Chabwino, popeza palibe ubale wabwino, muyenera kuganizira za mphamvu zanu nthawi ndi nthawi. Ndipo chifukwa chakuti mukudzifunsa nokha funsoli sizikutanthauza kuti zonse ndi zolakwika.

Ngakhale zili choncho, ndizotheka kuti mutha kukhalamo pazifukwa zolakwika. Chifukwa chakuti iye ali ndi biceps lalikulu padziko si kwenikweni chimodzi mwa zifukwa zabwino kukhala ndi chibwenzi chanu. Ndipo chifukwa chakuti nthawi zonse amavala zokopa sizikutanthauza kuti mumamukonda. Mukungokonda chovala cha Forever New chomwe amavala.

Nthawi yomweyo, zifukwa zokhalira m'banja nthawi zambiri zimanyalanyazidwa, makamaka pamene okwatirana akuganizira mavuto m'malo mwa zinthu zomwe akuchita bwino. Vuto ndilakuti, ngakhale pali zifukwa zambiri zokhala pamodzi, okwatirana nthawi zambiri amatha kunyalanyaza zofunika kwambiri ndikuyang'ana pa vuto lomwe limawapangitsa kukhulupirira kuti ubale wawo ukulephera.

Kumbali ina, okwatirana sangakhale ndi zifukwa zabwino zokhalira pachibwenzi koma angaganize molakwika zifukwa zosalongosoka zokhalira paubwenzi ndi munthu wina kuti ndiye zonse. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti simutenga mphamvu zaubwenzi wanu mopepuka, yang'anani zifukwa zotsatirazi zokhalira pachibwenzi, zambiri zomwe mungakhale nazo kale:

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1. Kulemekezana ndi chifukwa chachikulu chokhalira pachibwenzi

Malinga ndi Devaleena, ngati pali kulemekezana , ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zopitirizira kukhala pachibwenzi. "Pakakhala kusalemekezana, zinthu sizikuyenda bwino. Koma zikachitika, zimapangitsa kuti munthu akhale ndi mtendere wamumtima. Okwatirana angazindikire kuti onse awiri ali ndi umunthu wosiyana kwambiri, koma amavomerezanso kuti amathandizana, m'malo mosokoneza kukula kwa wina ndi mnzake," akutero.

Ngati palibe kulemekezana pachibwenzi, mwina simufuna kumva zomwe mnzanuyo akunena. Zikatero, zimakhala ngati mukuyembekezera kuti munthu amene ali patsogolo panu asiye kulankhula kuti mulankhulenso. Chifukwa chokhalira paubwenzi ndikuti zimakupangitsani kumva, kuvomerezedwa, ndikulemekezedwa. Osachitiridwa nkhanza, kunyozedwa, ndi kugwiriridwa. Sitikudziwa za inu, koma si mtundu wa ubale womwe tingafune.

2. Pamene chikondi chanu chapamtima sichidziwika bwino

Zoonadi, banja lirilonse limakhala ndi chiyanjano chogonana, koma ndi nkhani ya pilo yomwe ili yofunika kwambiri. Dzifunseni nokha: kodi mumatha kuululira mnzanuyo zakukhosi kwanu ndikumuuza chilichonse chomwe mukufuna popanda kuweruzidwa? Chifukwa chiyani mukukhala pachibwenzi, chifukwa chosangalalira pabedi kapena chifukwa cha chibwenzi chomwe mwapanga?

Kodi nonse mumadalirana kuti akuthandizeni pamalingaliro ? Kodi mumasangalatsana pamalingaliro? Ngati mukufuna zifukwa zokhalira ndi chibwenzi chanu, ganizirani momwe mumakhalira bwino pamalingaliro. Kodi mungamve zomwe mnzanuyo akumva ndikuvomerezana mwachibadwa kuti nonse muli pamalingaliro?

3. Masomphenya ogawana za tsogolo ndi dziko logawana

Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.

"Maonero ogawana pa moyo, malingaliro adziko lapansi, kapena masomphenya ogawana ndi chifukwa chachikulu chokhalirabe paubwenzi. Ngati anthu awiri omwe akufuna kugawana moyo sagawana masomphenya omwewo, ndizosavuta kuwona momwe zingabweretsere mavuto. Kusiyana kwamalingaliro kumabweretsa kusamvana, ndipo kusamvana kumabweretsa chiwonongeko. masomphenya,” akutero Devaleena.

Taganizirani izi: ngati pamapeto pake mukufuna nyumba ku Alps, yopanda zokopa zapadziko lonse lapansi, ndipo mnzanuyo akuyang'ana kwambiri moyo wa ku Ibiza, mwina mudzakhala ndi nthawi yovuta kupeza zifukwa zokhalira pabanja. M'mawu ochepa, mnzanuyo sangakhale munthu amene amasamalira ndalama mosamala kapena mapulani amtsogolo, zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu osatetezeka, odandaula, komanso okhumudwa. Pomaliza pake, mfundo imodzi yosatha iyi ya mkangano ingaphimbe zifukwa zina zonse zokhalira paubwenzi (tikhulupirireni, kusowa kukonzekera zachuma kungawononge ubale).

4. Kulankhulana momasuka komanso kopanda chiweruzo

Kodi mungauze mnzanu zonse, popanda kuopa kuweruzidwa kapena kuyambitsa ndewu? Kodi mumamubisira zinthu mnzanuyo, poganiza kuti kulimbana komwe kungayambike sikungakhale koyenera? Devaleena anati: “Kulankhulana kukakhala ku mbali imodzi, nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa mavuto.

Mukayamba kulankhula ndi mnzanu mosavuta, zimakhala zosavuta kuthetsa chilichonse chomwe chatayika. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukufuna zifukwa zopitirizira chibwenzi mutachita chigololo, kulankhulana komwe muli nako kuyenera kukuuzani zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa. Ngati pali kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka, mnzanuyo amakhala bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Ndipo izi zikachitika, ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zabwino kwambiri zokhalira ndi munthu amene mumamukonda.

5. Monga nandolo ziwiri pakhonde: Kugwirizana

Ayi, yankho lokha loti chifukwa chiyani munthu ayenera kukhala pachibwenzi si chifukwa chakuti inu nonse ndinu okonda kwambiri buku lazithunzithunzi la voliyumu 2 lomwe linatulutsidwa m'chaka cha 1992.

"Kodi ndiyenera kukhalabe pachibwenzi ichi?" Funsoli lisakhalenso m'maganizo mwanu ngati ndinu m'modzi mwa anthu okwatirana omwe sangathe kusiya kuseka nthabwala zanu zokhumudwitsa mkati. Kapena, ngati chomwe chimakupangitsani inu kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chakuti mumadziwa nthawi yomweyo pamene mnzanu akufuna kupita kunyumba kuchokera kuphwando chifukwa cha "mawonekedwe" omwe anakupatsani. Tikhulupirireni, aliyense wakuzungulirani amadana ndi momwe mumagwirizana.

6. Chitetezo cha m'maganizo ndi chifukwa cholimba chokhalira pachibwenzi

Pazifukwa zonse zoyenera kukhala pachibwenzi, chitetezo chamalingaliro chili pomwepo. Devaleena anati: “Ngati wina amene ali pachibwenzi ali wosatetezeka kapena wosasintha maganizo, sangachitire zambiri mnzawoyo mwamaganizo.” M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, woperekayo m’chibwenzi amatopa kwambiri.

Ngati onse awiri muubwenzi ali okhwima m'maganizo ndipo amatha kudalira chiweruzo cha wina, ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zabwino kwambiri zokhalira m'banja. Izi zili choncho chifukwa chitetezo cha m'maganizo nthawi zambiri chimatsagana ndi kudalirana, ulemu, kumvetsetsana, chithandizo, ndi chifundo. Ngati mfundo zimenezo sizikuyankha mafunso anu ovuta okhudza, "Zifukwa zomwe tiyenera kukhala limodzi", sitikudziwa chomwe chidzayankhidwe.

Infographic pazifukwa zokhalira pachibwenzi — Zifukwa 15 zapamwamba zokhalira pachibwenzi

7. Pamene ubale umalimbikitsa kukula kwa munthu payekha

Ubale wabwino ndi umene umakuthandizani kukhala munthu wabwino kwambiri. Siukukutsekerani m'ndende, koma umakuikani panjira yoti mukwaniritse zinthu zomwe simunkadziwa kuti mungathe kuzikwaniritsa.

Kodi wokondedwa wanu amakuthandizani muzolinga zanu ndikukulimbikitsani kuti muchite bwino? Kodi mumapatsana mpata kuti mudzipeze nokha payekhapayekha, kunja kwa ubale? Ngati "kodi ndiyenera kukhalabe muubwenzi uwu?" zimakulemetsani kwambiri, dzifunseni ngati equation iyi ikulolani kuti mukule momwe mukufunira.

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8. Kukhulupirirana ndi chifukwa chabwino chokhalira pachibwenzi

“Kukhoza kukhulupirirana kapena kusachitapo kanthu kumayambira paubwana wanu.” Ngati muli ndi vuto ndi zimenezo, zimachokera ku lingaliro lanu lakuti osamalira anu aakulu sanali okhoza kukuthandizani mokwanira.” Chifukwa cha chimenecho, mukhoza kumaganiza kuti, “Sindikudziwa ngati mnzangayo angandikonde monga mmene ndilili.” Malingaliro otero m’kupita kwa nthaŵi amapangitsa anthu kukayikira chilichonse chimene mnzawo amachita,” akutero Deena.

Chikhulupiliro ndi gawo lofunikira ngati mukuyang'ana zifukwa zokhalira pachibwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo. Kubera kapena ayi, pakapanda kukhulupirirana, mumangokhalira kusokoneza thanzi la wina ndi mnzake nthawi iliyonse mukapita kokacheza ndi “abwenzi” anu.

9. Kukonda umunthu wa wokondedwa wanu ndi chifukwa chachikulu chokhalirabe pachibwenzi

Kodi mumakonda makhalidwe abwino a mnzanu? Mwina mumakonda momwe amangoyamba kuimba nyimbo nthawi iliyonse kapena momwe amakokera pang'ono akamaseka. Mwina mumadabwa ndi nzeru zawo, ndipo nthawi iliyonse akamakusekani, mumagwa m'chikondi pang'ono. Ndi zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimapangitsa ukwati kukhala wolimba.

Devaleena anati: “Anthu aŵiri okondana amakhala paubwenzi wabwino, ngati mumakonda munthu amene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo ali, kwenikweni, mudzakhala ndi zolinga zimene nonse muli nazo, nyumba yabata ndi yabwinoko, ndiponso mudzakhala ogwirizana.” Pazifukwa zonse zoyenera kukhala pachibwenzi, kukonda moona mtima mbali zambiri za umunthu wa mnzanuyo ndikutha kuvomereza ndizolimba.

10. Mumathandizana nthawi zonse

Ngati mukuyang'ana zifukwa zokhalira ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, ganizirani kuchuluka kwa momwe mumathandizirana pamene mukuzifuna. Ukasokonekera kapena ukagwa mmavuto ndipo umafuna kuti mnzako akuthandize, amasiya zonse zomwe akuchita kuti akuthandize, kapena amakudzudzula chifukwa chakusokoneza poyamba?

Kodi zisankho zanu zimagwirizana ndi wokondedwa wanu, kapena nthawi zonse mumalankhula mwamwano? Kodi wokondedwa wanu amakuthandizani mukafuna? Kodi amachirikiza ndi ntchito zothandizira? Mafunso otere angakuthandizeni kudziwa zifukwa zokhalira paubwenzi ndi munthu wina.

11. Pamene chifundo chimabwera mwachibadwa kwa inu

Ngati mungathe kuyenda mtunda wautali m'malo mwa mnzanu popanda kulola tsankho lanu kuphimba malingaliro anu, muyenera kudziwa kuti chifundo chomwe chili muubwenzi wanu chimachokera ku chikondi chachikulu ndi chisamaliro. "Zimakhudzanso zolinga zomwe mumagwirizana. Munthu akakumana ndi vuto payekhapayekha, mnzakeyo amatha kumumvera chisoni," akutero Devaleena.

Ngati mumadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndiyenera kukhalabe pachibwenzi chimenechi?”, yesani kuganizira mmene mnzanuyo angagwirizane ndi zimene mukukumana nazo komanso mmene akuchirikizirani kapena kumvetsa mmene akumvera. Pamene m'malo moyesera kuthetsa mavuto anu onse nthawi yomweyo, mnzanuyo akhoza kukudziwitsani kuti amakumverani chisoni ponena mawu monga, "Izo ziyenera kukhala zovuta kwambiri, ndikumvetsa momwe muyenera kumverera", ndi chifukwa chabwino chokhalirabe paubwenzi, tikhoza kunena.

12. Pamene palibe mikangano ego

"Kuti munthu athe kukhala ndi zokonda zofanana komanso zolinga zofanana, nthawi zambiri, ayenera kusiya kudzikuza kwake. Mukamaganizira kwambiri za ubale wanu kuposa zomwe mukufuna - mwanjira yabwino - zimakhala bwino kwa inu," akutero Devaleena.

Kodi mnzanuyo amaponya zoyenera nthawi iliyonse mukamachita zinthu zochepa zomwe sakonda? Kodi nonse nonse mungaike pambali zofuna zanu ndikuchita zomwe zili zabwino pachibwenzi? Yankho la chifukwa chimene wina ayenera kukhala pachibwenzi zimadalira mmene inu nonse mungalemekeze zomwe muli nazo osati mwadyera kufuna njira yanu.

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13. Kodi mumamenya nkhondo mwachilungamo?

Ubale uliwonse umalimbana, koma momwe mumachitira ndi mikangano ndizomwe zimasiyanitsa maubwenzi abwino ndi opanda thanzi. Mumalankhula zinthu zomwe simukutanthauza ndipo pamapeto pake mumakhumudwitsa wokondedwa wanu? Kapena kodi mumachiyandikira ndi cholinga chochikonza, ndi kuyesa kuthana ndi mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa momwe mungathere?

Tikhulupirireni, ngati nonse mungayesetse kukonza ndewu zomwe zimabwera kuti mukhazikitsenso mtendere, ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zabwino zokhalira limodzi. Palibe amene amayankha funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani umakhalabe pachibwenzi?”, ponena kuti, “Ndimakonda pamene mnzanga amandisokoneza komanso kundichitira nkhanza tikamamenyana!”

14. Ngati mukumva kuti ndinu ovomerezeka komanso ofunikira

Nchiyani chimakupangitsani inu kukhala pachibwenzi? Kulemekezana, kukhulupirirana, kuthandizana, ndi chifundo. Koma, ngati zikuwoneka kuti nthawi zonse pali china chake chomwe chikusoweka muubwenzi wanu ndipo ngati zinthu zomwe mukufuna sizimaganiziridwa, ngati malingaliro anu alibe kanthu, anu mwina siwopatsa thanzi kwambiri.

Koma mnzanuyo akakuuzani kuti kungoganiza za inu kumangomwetulira pankhope pawo, mwinamwake inunso muli pa mwezi. Zedi, kudzimva wotsimikizika komanso wofunikira sichifukwa chokhacho chokhalira ndi chibwenzi kapena bwenzi lako, koma ndi sitepe yoyenera. Nthawi zina, mayankho a mafunso monga "Kodi zifukwa zomwe tiyenera kukhalira pamodzi ndi chiyani?" zitha kupezeka muzinthu zazing'ono monga momwe mukumvera.

15. Kukhutira kwathunthu

Mukagona pabedi, mutatha kuyika ma alarm anu tsiku lotsatira, ndipo mutasunga foni yanu pamalo owonetsera usiku, kodi munganene moona mtima kuti mwakhutitsidwa ndi ubale womwe muli nawo? Chifukwa chokhalira paubwenzi pamapeto pake chimakhala ndi malingaliro omwe mumakhala nawo usiku musanagone, sichoncho?

Kodi ubale wanu ndi wabwino? Kodi mumalemekezedwa? Kodi zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa ubale uliwonse zilipo mwa inu? Palibe vuto kukhala ndi kukayikira nthawi ndi nthawi koma kusakhutira nthawi zonse ndi chifukwa chodera nkhawa.

Kumbali ina, ngati ubale wanu umakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka kwathunthu pakudzipereka kwanu komanso kukhulupirirana komwe mumagawana, palibe chabwino padziko lapansi. Ngati equation yanu ikuwoneka ngati yotetezeka komanso yotetezeka, titha kunena kuti ngakhale chochitika chatsoka chakusakhulupirika sichingagwedeze maziko anu.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Ngati ubwenzi wanu ukupwetekani mwakuthupi kapena m'maganizo, palibe zifukwa zokwanira zokhaliramo zomwe zingayambike chifukwa chakuti muli paubwenzi woopsa ndipo muyenera kulingalira mwamphamvu kuuthetsa.
Ngati ubale wanu uli ndi maziko a ubale wachimwemwe monga kukhulupirirana, chikondi, kulemekezana, kuthandizana, ndi kumverana chisoni, muli ndi zifukwa zazikulu zokhalira pachibwenzi.
Zifukwa zina zokhalira pachibwenzi ndi monga kutsimikizika, kukhutitsidwa kwa ubale, kumvetsetsana wina ndi mnzake, komanso kuchitira umboni kukula kwamunthu ndi ubale.

Ngati mukuyang'ana zifukwa zokhalira pachibwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo, yambani ndikuwunika chifukwa chake zidachitika, ndikuzindikira ngati ubale wanu wokhutiritsa ungathe kuthana ndi kusintha kodabwitsa kumeneku. Kumapeto kwa tsiku, ngati pali kukhulupirirana, chikondi, ndi ulemu, palibe chimene simungathe kuchita.

Ngati ubale wanu uli ndi mfundo zambiri zomwe tazilemba, tikukhulupirira kuti simudzakangamira pa mafunso monga, "Kodi ndikhalebe pachibwenzichi kapena ndituluke koyamba?" Zinthu zitha kuwoneka zosokoneza mumayendedwe anu, koma mothandizidwa ndi zifukwa zomwe talembazi, mutha kukhala ndi lingaliro labwinoko la momwe mungakhalire "osangalala" nthawi zonse.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale pachibwenzi?

Ngati ubwenziwo ukuvulazani m’maganizo kapena mwakuthupi, muyenera kulingalira mwamphamvu kuuthetsa. Komabe, ngati palibe chivulazo chamwamsanga ndipo mwawona chikhutiro chonse, kukhalapo kwa zikhazikitso zonse za ubale (kukhulupirira, ulemu, chithandizo, chikondi, ndi chifundo), ndi chikhumbo chofuna kupitiriza ubalewo, muyenera kulingalira mwamphamvu kuthetsa mavuto onse omwe mungakhale nawo.

2. Ndi zifukwa ziti zolakwika zokhalira pachibwenzi?

Ngati mukuganiza kuti muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa inu padera nthawi yochuluka mu izo, kapena chifukwa muli ndi nkhawa zimene anthu ena anganene ngati munasweka, kapena chifukwa inu kulibwino kupewa kuti chovuta kuswana-mmwamba kukambirana zonse zifukwa zoopsa kukhalabe mu ubale.

Zifukwa zina zoipa kukhala pachibwenzi zikuphatikizapo zinthu monga kusadzidalira nokha maganizo odziimira, kuyembekezera ubwenzi poizoni kukhala bwino ena tsoka, kapena kukhulupirira kuti "muyenera" ubwenzi woipa. Chokani!

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.