Njira 9 Zodziyimira pawokha mu Ubwenzi Wachikondi

Momwe mungakhalire wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi ndi funso lochititsa chidwi komanso mwinanso lotsutsana. Chikhalidwe cha Pop nthawi zambiri chimatiuza kuti chikondi chimangokhudza mgwirizano. Lingaliro la kukhala wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi silibwera kwenikweni, makamaka poyamba. Mumalakalaka anzanu ofunikira mukakhala kutali ndipo mukufuna kukhala limodzi mphindi iliyonse.

Zedi, ilo ndi gawo la izo. Koma, bwanji ponena za kukhala payekha ndi kudziimira? Kodi kudziyimira pawokha muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani, ndipo mumadziwonetsera bwanji nokha popanda kusokoneza wokondedwa wanu?

Mosakayikira awa ndi mafunso amene amabwera m’maganizo kwa anthu ambiri amene ali m’zibwenzi. Koma, sikophweka nthawi zonse kukhalabe umunthu wanu pamaso pa chikondi chachikondi. Kuphunzira kukhala wodziimira paubwenzi kungakhale kovuta chifukwa timauzidwa nthawi zonse kuti okondedwa athu ayenera kukhala patsogolo kuposa china chilichonse. Mwinanso munganene kuti ndinu wodziimira paokha paubwenzi.

Kuti timvetse bwino mafunsowa, tinakambirana ndi mphunzitsi wa maganizo ndi maganizo Pooja Priyamvada (wotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera kwa Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka uphungu wa zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, kuti adziwe momwe angakhalire wodziimira paubwenzi. Kotero, kaya mukuyang'ana kuti mukhale mwamuna wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi kapena mkazi wolimba wodziimira payekha paubwenzi, takuphimbani.

Kodi Kudziimira pa Ubale Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Malinga ndi Pooja, kudziyimira pawokha pachibwenzi kungatanthauze kukhalabe wekha ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi. Kukhala ndi zolinga za munthu payekha, zokonda ndi zomwe sakonda, kucheza ndi anzanu, zokonda ndi moyo, komanso kukhala ndi zina mwazinthu zonsezi zomwe munthu atha kugawana ndi bwenzi lake - ndizomwe zimafunikira kudziyimira pawokha pa chibwenzi.

"Mmodzi sayenera kuyang'ana ndikuchita ngati galasi la mnzanu; m'malo mwake, zosiyanasiyana zimakhala zonunkhira za moyo - kapena monga akunena, zotsutsana zimakopa - kusunga kukhala wapadera ndi kusiyana kumalimbikitsa ubale," akutero.

Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kukhalabe ndi malingaliro amphamvu aumwini sikutanthauza kuti mumanyalanyaza ubale wanu kapena kukana lingaliro la kukhala pamodzi. M'malo mwake, kudzisamalira nokha kungakuthandizeni kukhala odziyimira pawokha muubwenzi, ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi mnzanuyo. Mukudabwabe momwe mungakhalire odziimira paubwenzi? Werengani, ndi kupeza.

Njira 9 Zokhalira Wodziimira Pamayanjano

Ndibwino kunena kuti "kukhala wodziyimira pawokha muubwenzi wachikondi". Komabe, monga momwe zilili ndi zinthu zambiri, kukhazikitsa kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kuposa chiphunzitsocho. Kuti tikubweretsereni zidziwitso zomwe mungachite, taphatikiza njira zina zomwe mungathandizire kukhala wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi:

1. Nenani malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu

Monga momwe Pooja akunenera, momwe mumaganizira, momwe mumamvera, komanso momwe mumafotokozera siziyenera kufanizira momwe mnzanuyo amaganizira komanso momwe akumvera. Sitikulimbikitsani kuti muzikangana pachilichonse (ngati mukutero, chonde funsani akatswiri kapena lingaliraninso za ubale wanu), koma ndikwabwino kukhala ndi kufotokoza nokha nokha.

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Janine anati: “Pamene tinakwatirana, ndinkaona kuti n’zosangalatsa kuti tinali ofanana. Koma kenako, ndinazindikira kuti sindimakonda maseŵera, ndipo tinkakonda nyimbo zamitundumitundu ndipo nthaŵi zambiri sitinkavomereza voliyumu ya pa TV. Ndipo zimenezo zinali bwinonso.

'Mwaulemu tsutsani' ndiye mwambi apa. Simuyenera kuchepetsa kapena kunyoza malingaliro a mnzanuyo kuti mutsimikizire zanu. Koma simuyeneranso kudzikwiyira nokha pansi pa chiguduli kuti mupange malo awo. Mwina mumakonda Marvel ndipo amakonda DC. Mwinamwake mukuganiza kuti mbale ziyenera kutsukidwa mutangomaliza kudya ndipo angalole kuzisiya mpaka m'mawa.

Mosakayikira awa akhala maziko kulekana kwaukwati nthawi zambiri, koma ngati mukuganiza momwe mungakhalire odziyimira pawokha paubwenzi, timalangiza mwamphamvu kuphunzira kufotokoza ndikukhala ndi kusiyana kwanu. Ndipo mbale zidzachapidwa, pamapeto pake.

2. Onetsetsani kuti mukukulitsa zokonda zanu

Mnzanga ndi wopalasa njinga. Sindikutanthauza kuti amakwera njinga zamoto; Ndikutanthauza kuti amadya, kugona, kugwira ntchito ndi kupuma. Ndipo mophweka chifukwa cha chilakolako ichi, nthawi zonse amakhala akuyenda. Ine, ndikuyesera kuswa mbiri ya dziko lapansi kukhala mbatata yogona. Ndi ife basi, ndipo sizikusintha, ndipo patatha pafupifupi zaka khumi, timakondanabe.

Kuchita zonse pamodzi kumamveka ngati ubale wangwiro, koma kunena zoona, kukhala ndi zokonda zanu n’kothandiza ndipo kumafuna kusamaliridwa. Ngati mukuphunzira kukhala wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi, muyenera kuchita zinthu zosagwirizana ndi anzanu.

“Kudziimira paokha paubwenzi kudzaonekera mwa bwenzi aliyense kukhala mwini wake, kukhalabe anthu aŵiri osiyana pamene akukhalabe okwatirana,” Pooja akutero, akuwonjezera kuti zimenezi zikutanthauza kuchita zinthu mosiyana. Sizikutanthauza kuti mumachita chilichonse payekhapayekha, kungoti mumagawa zinthu zomwe mumakonda kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yanu.

Mwina nonse mumakonda kukwera mapiri, koma sakonda kuwerenga ndakatulo monga momwe mulili. Chifukwa chake mutha kuyendayenda kumapeto kwa sabata, ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mumapezeka ndakatulo ndikuwerenga kangapo pamwezi. Kusamala ndikofunikira mukakhala paokha paubwenzi.

3. Muzipeza nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu

Nthawi zonse ndimayesetsa kuti chibwenzi changa sichikanakhalako ngati sindikadapita kokacheza ndi atsikana kukamwa ma cocktails ndikudandaula za mnzanga. Zedi, mwina mumacheza ndi abwenzi anu ndi mabanja anu nthawi zonse, mwinanso muli nawo kukhala m'banja limodzi, ndipo mwachiyembekezo, nonse mumakondana wina ndi mzake. Koma, bwanji ponena za kuthera nthaŵi ndi anzanu pawekha?

Rachel anati: “Ndili ndi mwayi kuti ndimagwirizana kwambiri ndi makolo a mnzanga komanso makolo a mnzangayo ndipo iye amagwirizana ndi anga. Iye ananenanso kuti: “Pali chinachake choona ngati kukhala ndi anthu amene ankakudziwani musanakhale pachibwenzi.”

Ndikosavuta kuyika zachikondi pamwamba pa makwerero a ubale, koma tisaiwale mabwenzi ndi mabanja (onse achilengedwe komanso osankhidwa) omwe apanga umunthu wanu ndi moyo wanu kuposa maubwenzi achikondi. Kulera ndi kulimbitsa maubwenzi kunja kwa chikondi chanu kumakupatsani mwayi woti mutenge mbali zomwe simukukondana nazo, ndipo izi ndizofunikanso pamoyo wanu.

4. Yendani nokha

Ine ndi mnzanga timakonda kuyenda, ndipo zina mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimene timakumbukira ndi za maulendo amene tinayendera limodzi. Nthawi yomweyo, imodzi mwa nthawi zomwe ndimakonda komanso zosaiwalika ikadali ulendo wandekha womwe ndidapita ku Vietnam. Panali mafunso ndi maonekedwe ododometsa, chifukwa chiyani mungayendere nokha ulendo mukakhala ndi mnzanu wokondeka komanso wofunitsitsa?

Pooja akugogomezera kuti kuyenda ndi njira yabwino yowonjezerera madera anu, ndipo kuyenda nokha ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yodziyesera nokha ndikukhala nanu nthawi. Kuyenda nokha kumatanthauza kuti muli ndi udindo wanu wonse - kuchokera paulendo wanu wa pandege ndi mahotelo anu mpaka kuonetsetsa kuti muli otetezeka ngakhale mukufufuza malo atsopano.

Chinthu chake ndi chakuti, poyenda ndi mnzanu, n'zosavuta kugawana katunduyo, kuwalola kuti aziyang'anira zinthu zina. Mukakhala nokha, muyenera kusamalira chilichonse, ndipo palibenso mphamvu zazikulu zamunthu. Muli pamalo atsopano, kudzisamalira nokha ndikukonzekera masiku anu momwe mukufunira. Chifukwa chake, nyamulani magalasi anu adzuwa ndi sutikesi yanu, ndikuyamba ulendo wanu nokha. Mubweranso zodzaza ndi nkhani zatsopano komanso chikondi chatsopano kwa okondedwa anu.

5. Khalani ndi malo anu enieni

Nkhani yanga yomwe ndimakonda kwambiri ndi momwe banja lakale lodziwika bwino Tim Burton ndi Helena Bonham Carter ankakhala m'nyumba imodzi, koma m'mapiko osiyana, olumikizidwa ndi malo wamba. Aliyense ankateteza malo ake mwamphamvu, koma nthawi zonse panali kwinakwake komwe amakumana pakati.

Tsopano, ndizovuta kwa ambiri aife kupeza nyumba yokhala ndi mapiko osiyanasiyana, koma siyenera kukhala yotakata. Itha kukhala chipinda cha alendo kwa maola angapo sabata iliyonse, kapena malo owerengera omwe mumapitako mukafuna nthawi yokhala nokha komanso kutali ndi wina aliyense. Malo mu ubale ndi lingaliro labwino.

Frances anati: “Tinasandutsa chipinda chathu chapansi kukhala malo ophunziriramo muofesi. “Komanso ndi kumene ndimapita ndikangofuna kukhala ndekha.” Ndine munthu amene amafunikira nthawi yambiri yochitira zinthu ndipo malowa ndi opatulika kwa ine, ndipo amandithandiza kuti ndisaloŵe m’chibwenzi m’njira yosayenera.”

Ngakhale inu ndi mnzanuyo simukugawana malo okhala, ndi bwino kukhala ndi malo omwe mungapiteko pamene mukufunikira kukhala nokha. Itha kukhala malo ogulitsira mabuku omwe mumakonda kapena malo omwe ali paki kwanuko. Malo okha omwe ndi anu ndi anu nokha.

6. Sankhani kudalirana kuposa kudalirana

Maubwenzi odalirana nthawi zambiri salola kuti aliyense akhale ndi moyo wabwino komanso wokhutiritsa kunja kwa chiyanjano. Kudalirana kumadalira nthawi zonse kuika wokondedwa wanu patsogolo, ndikukhala ndi udindo pa chimwemwe chawo ndi momwe akumvera.

Kudalirana, kumbali ina, kungatanthauze kuti mukupanga ndi kulimbikitsa ubale wolimba ndi wokhazikika ndikuwonetsetsa kuti umunthu wanu umakhalabe.

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Kukhala wodziyimira pawokha m'malingaliro paubwenzi ndi chifukwa chachikulu chodalirana, akutero Pooja. “Kudziimira paokha kungatanthauze kukhala wogwirizana ndi maganizo koma kukhala ndi moyo wolemera wamaganizo ndi ufulu.” Kukhala ndi ufulu wolankhula mosatekeseka m’chibwenzi ngakhale kuti zinthu zina zimene munagawanamo zingakhale zosiyana ndi mmene mnzanuyo akumvera.

“Kumatanthauzanso kusoŵa kudalirana kosayenera m’maganizo kumene munthu amathedwa nzeru ndi bwenzi lake nthaŵi zonse,” akuwonjezera motero.

Kuphunzira kukhala wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi ndikoyenera kuyenda bwino pakati pa kugwirizana ndi ufulu waumwini, kukhala otetezeka mu ubale wanu m'malo mokhala woyang'anira ndi kuyang'anira wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse. Kukhala mwamuna wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi, kapena mkazi wamphamvu, wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi sikophweka, koma kugonjetsa kudalirana ndi malo abwino kuyamba.

7. Khalani ndi ndalama zodziyimira pawokha

Mwambi wanga wa ubale wosangalala ndi malire a ubale wabwino ndi kukhala ndi zimbudzi zosiyana, ma TV osiyana ndi maakaunti akubanki osiyana. Zachidziwikire, mutha kukhala ndi akaunti yolumikizana komwe mumagwiritsa ntchito ndalama zomwe mumagawana, tchuthi, ndi zina, koma kukhala ndi malo anu odziyimira pawokha kuti musunge ndalama zanu kumakupatsani mphamvu kwambiri.

Sabrina anati: “Pamene tinali achichepere, ine ndi anzanga tinkakonda kulitcha kuti ‘ndalama zopulumukirako’,” akutero Sabrina, “zinkatanthauza kuti ndi ndalama zochitira pamene tikufuna kuthaŵa.” Kuthaŵa abale athu, unansi woipa, kapena kungopeŵa zinthu zongofuna kutichitira ife tokha.

Sabrina atakula anasunga thumba limeneli ngakhale atalowa m’banja. Tonse tikugwira ntchito, komanso timasunga akaunti imodzi, koma timasunganso maakaunti athu omwe amasunga ndalama, ndipo sitifunsana za ndalama zomwe timasunga, kapena zomwe tawononga.

"Ngati akufuna kuzigwiritsa ntchito kuti apite kumisasa yekha, amatero. Ngati ndikufuna splurge patchuthi cha m'mphepete mwa nyanja ndi anzanga kapena kuwomba zonse paulendo wogula zinthu, ndingathe. Sikuti ndi ndalama zothawirako, koma ndi chizindikiro chakuti ndife anthu awiri osiyana," akuwonjezera.

8. Tsatani maloto anu

Elise anati: “Tinakhala m’banja zaka zitatu pamene ndinapeza ntchito m’dziko lina. Unali udindo wamaloto, mtundu womwe ndimakonda kugwira nawo ntchito nthawi zonse. Koma mwamuna wanga anafunikira kukhala komwe anali chifukwa cha ntchito yake. Choncho, tinaganiza zoyesa ukwati wakutali.

Ndizosavuta kuwona ngati kukhala wodziyimira pawokha pachibwenzi, makamaka popeza apa ndi mkazi akuwuluka kukagwira ntchito yamaloto ake. "Lingaliro lalikulu la ufulu ndi losiyana kwa amuna ndi akazi," akutero Pooja.

"Kwa amuna, ufulu mu maubwenzi zambiri zokhudza kupanga zisankho, ufulu wophwanya malamulo ndi malire. Kwa amayi, ndi nkhani yoti 'aloledwe' kuchita zinthu zomwe amuna amachita popanda kuganiza kawiri - monga ulendo wapaokha kapena tchuthi ndi abwenzi a amuna kapena akazi okhaokha popanda bwenzi ndi ana," akuwonjezera.

Sizinali zophweka, koma Elise anatsimikiza mtima kuti zitheke. “Sindikanataya maloto anga a ukwati wanga, ndipo sindinkafunadi kupereka ukwati wanga kaamba ka maloto anga.” Kuli kakonzedwe kosayenera, koma kunatigwirira ntchito.

9. Lolani kuti ubale wanu ukhale wabwino

Monga tanenera, chikondi nthawi zambiri chimawonedwa ngati ubale wofunikira kwambiri m'miyoyo yathu. Kanema, nyimbo ndi bukhu lililonse lolembedwa lonena za chikondi chachikondi limatiuza kuti ichi ndicho mtheradi, chinthu chofunika kwambiri chimene chingatichitikire ndipo tiyenera kuumamatira ngakhale kusiya china chilichonse.

Komabe, ngati mukufuna kukhala wodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi, ndi bwino kusiya pang'ono. Ndi zambiri kukakamizidwa kukhala wina zofunika zina, ndi kumvetsera positi, ndi banja lawo, ndi bwenzi lawo lapamtima, etc. Ubale wanu umafunika malo kupuma ngati adzaima pa mapazi ake awiri popanda tcheru nthawi zonse kwa inu ndi mnzanuyo.

Mukakhala ndi maubwenzi ndi zilakolako zina kuti mugwiritse ntchito nthawi yanu ndi malingaliro anu, mumapatsa mnzanuyo ndi ubale wanu malo pang'ono kuti akule pazolinga zawo. Ndi, ndithudi, lachinyengo kulinganiza kudziyimira pawokha mu ubale nthawi zina pamene inu mukudabwa mmene kukhala munthu wodziimira pa ubwenzi kapena wamphamvu wodziimira mkazi pa ubwenzi, ndi kukhala misala mu chikondi.

Koma danga, kukhulupirirana ndi malire a ubale wabwino ndizofunika kwambiri pa chikondi chachikulu, ndipo pali chisangalalo chochuluka powona wokondedwa wanu akukula ngati munthu payekha mu ubale wanu.

Momwe mungakhalire odziyimira pawokha paubwenzi ndi funso lomwe limayitanira nsidze zambiri. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, mutha kuyitanidwa chifukwa chodziyimira pawokha paubwenzi. Koma kumbukirani kuti ubale wanu ndi milingo yake yodziyimira pawokha sizinthu za wina aliyense koma zanu.

“Muubwenzi wabwino ndi wosungika, bwenzi lililonse limakhala la iye yekha, nkukhalabe anthu aŵiri osiyana pamene akukhalabe ndi banja.” Aliyense amasirira makhalidwe osiyanasiyana a mnzake ndipo nthaŵi zambiri amaphunziranso kwa iwo, koma zingakhale zomvetsa chisoni ngati muli ndi chibwenzi. mwamuna wosatetezeka kapena mkazi amene amayamba kuyerekezera ndi kupikisana ndi bwenzi lake,” anachenjeza motero Pooja.

Kukhala odziyimira pawokha m'malingaliro muubwenzi, kapena kupeza ufulu wamtundu uliwonse mu ubale wachikondi kumafunika kuti onse awiri azikhala odzidalira okha, komanso kukhala ndi chikhulupiriro cholimba mwa wina ndi mnzake. Dzipezeni nokha, fufuzani zakutsogolo kwanu, ngakhale zitakhala kuti sizikugwirizana nthawi zonse ndi za mnzanu. Pamapeto pake, chikondi chiyenera kuyamba ndi inu.

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