Zizindikiro 12 Zochenjeza Za Ubale Wolephera

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kutha, monganso ubale, sizochitika zokha; sizimangochitika mwachisawawa. Ngati muyang'anitsitsa mokwanira, mudzawona zizindikiro za ubale womwe ukulephera pamtunda wa kilomita imodzi. Kudziwa izi kungakuthandizeni kukonza zowonongeka kapena kufika pamalo ovomerezeka kuti mufike kumapeto. Timakhulupirira kuti aliyense ayenera kukhala wozindikira mokwanira kuti azitha kuwona zinthu zikuyenda bwino ndi mnzake.

Mwamwayi, ili ndi gulu lomwe lingathe kukulitsidwa. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kuzindikira zizindikiro zofunika kwambiri za ubale zomwe sizikuyenda bwino motsogozedwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa zachiwerewere komanso kayendetsedwe ka ubale. Tiyeni tiwone ngati ubale wanu ukuyamba kuyandikira kupatukana kapena ayi. Ndiye, kodi zizindikiro zazikulu za ubale womwe ukutha ndi ziti?

Kodi Zizindikiro Zakulephera Kwa Ubale Ndi Chiyani? Nawa 12

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Anthu ambiri amavutika kuzindikira zizindikiro za ubale zomwe zikulephera chifukwa zimaoneka ngati zazing'ono kwambiri. Koma kwenikweni, ndi zinthu zomwe zikuwononga ubale wanu. Mwachitsanzo, okwatirana onse awiri kusakhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yodyera chakudya chamadzulo ndi chinthu chosafunika kwenikweni. Koma izi zikachitika nthawi zambiri, zimasonyeza kuti akulephera kulankhulana muubwenzi. Mndandanda wathu ukudziwitsani zizindikiro 12 (inde, 12!) zomwe zingakupatseni kumvetsetsa bwino zolakwa zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri pa chibwenzi.

Maphunziro ang'onoang'ono adzakupatsani mphamvu kuti muchitepo kanthu mokomera ubalewo. Yandikirani mndandandawo ndi malingaliro akukula ndikuphunzirapo. Tikungoyesa kuwonetsa madera ochepa omwe ali ndimavuto kuti muthe kukonzanso maulalo omwe mumagawana nawo. Eya, musade nkhawa - tigwira ntchito ngati gulu ndikukupulumutsani ku zovuta izi. Nazi zizindikiro zazikulu za ubale wolephera ...

1. Khalidwe lopanda ulemu

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti, “Kusalemekezana ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zazikulu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wolephera. Simukulemekezananso ndipo kudzikuza kumalowa. Ndemanga zopweteka komanso zonyoza, kuchita zinthu zosemphana ndi makhalidwe a mnzanu, ndi kumuchititsa manyazi pamaso pa anthu ndi zitsanzo zochepa za khalidwe losalemekezana. N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti nthawi zina okwatirana amakhala audani.” Tengani kamphindi ndikuganizira za ubale wanu.

Kodi inu ndi mnzanu mwakhala mukuchitirana bwanji? Kodi mumawanyalanyaza ndi zomwe amakhulupirira? Kodi mumachita nthabwala mopanda phindu mukakhala ndi anzanu? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti pali vuto muubwenzi. Kulemekezana ndiye maziko a ubale uliwonse - simungathe kuchita bwino popanda kupatsa theka la mnzanu ulemu womwe akuyenera.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Ubale wodziwika ndi kusalemekezana siwokhazikika. Simungathe kumanga moyo ndi munthu ngati simumulemekeza.

2. Kusalankhulana

Monga ngati izi sizinanenedwe kale kambirimbiri! Kulankhulana n'kofunika kwambiri pazochitika zapakati pa anthu awiri; kusowa kwa zokambirana nthawi zonse kumakhala mbendera yofiira. Jaseena anati: “Anthu amasiya kukamba nkhani zambili m’cikwati cosokonekera, saona kufunika kouza mnzawo zimene akumana nazo cifukwa ‘zilibe kusiyana.’ Umu ndi m'mene kukhala chete kumayambika ndikupanga mtunda pakati pa awiriwo.

"Zambiri zimadalira kulankhulana ngati muganizira za izi. Mikangano imathetsedwa, kusamvana kumathetsedwa, mapulani amapangidwa ndipo kudalirana kumamangidwa pongolankhula ndi mnzanu. Kulephera kulankhulana muubwenzi kungapangitse kuti usokonekere. Izi zimagwiranso ntchito pa maubwenzi akutali. Kulankhulana ndi chinthu chomwe chimagwirizanitsa okwatiranawo akakhala kutali. Ngati kukambirana kutsika, kodi adzakhudzidwa bwanji ndi miyoyo ya wina ndi mnzake? Kulankhula chete ndi chizindikiro chosonyeza kuti maubwenzi akutali akulephera."

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kusowa kwa kulankhulana n’koopsa pa maubwenzi amitundu yonse. Pamene zokambirana zatha, chikondi, kudalirana ndi kuona mtima zimachepanso.

3. Zitsanzo za kunama - Zizindikiro zakulephera kwa ubale

Kusakhulupirika muubwenzi kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zazikulu zomwe palibe amene akuona kuti zikubwera. Zimayamba mwachisawawa - bodza loyera apa, lina apo. Koma pang'onopang'ono, kuchuluka ndi mphamvu ya izi kumawonjezeka. Kodi pakhala nthawi zina pomwe ziwiri ndi ziwiri sizimamveka m'nkhani za mnzanu? Kapena kodi inuyo ndi amene mumanama? Siziyenera kukhala nkhani ya kusakhulupirika nthawi zonse, nthawi zina anthu amanama kuti azikhala kutali ndi wokondedwa wawo. (Koma izi nazonso ndi chifukwa chodera nkhawa.)

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Wowerenga wina wa ku Vancouver analemba kuti: “Papita miyezi itatu chiyambire pamene ndinasudzulana ndipo ndikanalakalaka tikanasiyana kale.” Chakumapeto, tinapitiriza kufunafuna zifukwa zoti tituluke panyumba n’kusakhala ndi wina ndi mnzake. ubale wathu unali wolephera.”

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Mabodza omwe ali muubwenzi amawonjezera ndipo zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kulankhulana ndi mnzanu. Kusakhulupirika ndi chiyambi cha mtunda ndi mikangano.

4. Kusakhulupirirana kwambiri

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti, “Mukapanda kukhulupirira mnzako, mumakayikira chilichonse chimene akunena kapena kuchita.” Kungoganizira mowirikiza kumakhala kokhumudwitsa kwa onse okhudzidwa. Pamene maziko a chidaliro ayamba kuchepa, ganizirani izi kukhala zizindikiro zolephera za ubale.

Nayi mayeso osavuta; mnzanu akakutumizirani zambiri, kodi mumafunsa mafunso obwerezabwereza? Ngati akunena kuti, “Ndikupita kukadya chakudya chamadzulo, ndikhale kunyumba pofika 11 koloko m'mawa” yankho lanu ndi kufunsa kuti, ndi ndani, komanso kuti akupita bwanji? Ngati yankho lanu losakhazikika ndi kufufuza zoona zake, ndiye kuti pali vuto lalikulu muubwenzi wanu. Tikuganiza kuti ndi nthawi yoti mugwire ntchito yomanganso chidaliro pakati panu awiriwa.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kusakhulupirirana kumabweretsa zinthu zoipa pa umunthu wa anthu. Kulola kuti kukayikirana ndi kukayikira kukulamulireni kumawononga kwambiri ubale wanu.

5. Kutaya ubwenzi wapamtima

Pazizindikiro zonse zakulephera kwa ubale, ichi ndiye chomvetsa chisoni kwambiri. Pamene kugwirizana kwatha, palibe aliyense amene amamva kuti ali pafupi wina ndi mnzake. Ubale wachikondi ndi malo apamtima odzaza ndi chikondi, kuseka, chikondi ndi nkhawa; zonsezi zimachepa pang'onopang'ono pamene kusweka kuli muipi. Ngakhale pamene amalankhulana, pali mkono umodzi wapamtima patali kuchokera mbali zonse ziwiri. Kukambirana kumakhala kokhazikika komanso kogwira ntchito.

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Palibe wina aliyense amene amamasuka kukhala pachiwopsezo kapena kugawana nawo zokweza ndi zotsika ndi mnzake. (Chibwenzi chosokonekera sichingapereke malo otetezeka kwa aliyense.) Pamene mtunda wamalingaliro ukuwonjezeka, onse awiri amakhala ndi moyo wawo. Nthawi zina chidwi cha ena chimachepa. Tanthauzo ndi zomwe timakumana nazo zimachepa ndipo pamapeto pake zimasowa. N’zosachita kufunsa kuti kutha kwapang’onopang’ono kumeneku n’kopweteka kwambiri.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kutalikirana kwa malingaliro sikuonekera poyamba koma kumakula tsiku lililonse. Awiriwa amalephera kugwirizana ndipo cholinga chawo chimasanduka kuchoka pa kumanga moyo wogawana kupita pa moyo wa munthu payekha.

6. Kukangana kosalekeza

Jaseena akuti, "Pali zambiri kuposa kuwonjezeka kwa ndewu. Pamene awiriwa akukangana, mkwiyo suli wokhudzana ndi nkhani yomwe ili pafupi. Pamakhala mkwiyo wambiri ndipo mavuto am'mbuyomu amayamba. Kusagwirizana kumakula mofulumira muubwenzi wolephera ndipo zinthu zimaphulika molakwika. Izi zikugwirizana ndi kusowa kwa kulankhulana - chinthu chokhacho kuti muthe kulimbana ndi inu nonse."

Kodi mwaona kuti nthawi zonse mumakangana muubwenzi ? Kodi nkhanzazi zimachokera kuti? N’zotheka kuti mavuto anu onse osathetsedwa (omwe mumasesa pansi pa kapeti) amaonekera pamene muli ndi mkwiyo. Mungadzipeze kuti mukunena zinthu zopweteka kwambiri mwadala. Ndipo mwina… Mwina… mukuyambitsa ndewu kuti muwononge ubale wanu.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kukwiyira mnzanu nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta. Ngakhale kuti ndewu ndi yabwino pamlingo winawake, mikangano yosatha ndi chizindikiro cha mavuto muubwenzi.

7. Kusowa kwa njira

Sitingathe kukambirana za zizindikiro za ubale zomwe zikulephera popanda kuthetsa vuto la kusowa kwa njira. Inu ndi mnzanu mwagwirizana kuti mumange tsogolo limodzi . Masomphenya ofanana ndi ofunikira kwambiri kuti ubale wanu ukhale wautali komanso wopambana. Ngati palibe amene amadziwa komwe mukupita, pali china chake chomwe sichili bwino. Anthu ambiri amapewa kukambirana za tsogolo ndi anzawo pamene sakuona kuti ubalewo udzakhala wokhalitsa.

infographic pa zizindikiro zochenjeza za kulephera kwa ubale — Zizindikiro zakusokonekera kwa ubale ndizovuta ...

Mukamakambirana ndi anzanu za m'tsogolo, kodi mnzanuyo alipo muzochitika zongopeka zimenezo? Ngati ubale wanu ukulephera, ndiye kuti sangawonekere muzolinga zilizonse zomwe mudapanga. Ndipo musatilakwitse, uku kudzakhala kuyang'anira kopanda dala kuchokera kumapeto kwanu. Izo zimangokhudza kuti mukuika nthawi ndi khama mu mgwirizano umene simukufuna kuchita patsogolo m'moyo.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Nkhani yodziwika bwino yakuti 'zikupita kuti?' siibwera muubwenzi wolephera. Kufanana kwa zolinga kumachepa ndipo palibe mnzawo amene amaganizira za tsogolo limodzi.

8. Osachita zogonana

Jaseena akuti, "Kulephera kulankhulana muubwenzi kumabweretsa mtunda wamaganizo ndipo izi zimawononganso mbali yakuthupi. Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maubwenzi ndipo kuyanjana mwakuthupi ndikofunikira kuti pakhale mgwirizano wabwino. Ngati palibe kugonana kapena chikondi, awiriwa amapatukana kwambiri." Ndi mfundo yodziwika bwino kuti kugwirizana pa kugonana ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri pakuyenda bwino kwa thupi. Pakakhala vuto pakati pa mapepala, muyenera kuyamba kuda nkhawa.

Kasanu ndi kamodzi mwa khumi, kusowa kwa kugonana kumasonyeza mavuto aakulu. Pamene zizindikiro zachikondi monga kukumbatirana, kusisita, kugunda, kapena kupsompsona zitha, zimasokoneza ubale, komanso moyo wa munthuyo. Ubale wolephera wautali umawonetsanso chizindikiro ichi, ngakhale mwanjira ina. Kwa owerenga onse a LDR, muwona kuchepa kwa zikondano zamawu kapena zochitika za cybersex. Tikukhulupirira kuti izi sizikugwirizana ndi inu…

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Pali zinthu zingapo zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pasakhale kugwirizana kwenikweni. Kuchepa kwa zochita zogonana kapena kusonyezana chikondi kumakhala kovuta paubwenzi.

9. Kusatetezeka kwambiri

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti, “Pamene kusadzidalira kukupitirira muyeso, kumabweretsa nsanje ndi makhalidwe odziletsa. Kuyang'ana foni ya mnzanu, kutsata anzawo pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kuwapempha kuti asakumane ndi anthu enaake, kapena kuwaletsa kubwera ndi kupita ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti ubale wawo sukuyenda bwino komanso wovuta.” Kusadzidalira muubwenzi kumabwera chifukwa cha nkhani zokhulupirirana. Monga tanenera kale, kukayikira mnzanu nthawi zonse ndi chizolowezi chodetsa nkhawa kwambiri.

Nthawi zambiri, kusatetezeka kumakhala khomo la machitidwe oopsa komanso ankhanza. Pogwiritsa ntchito nsanje ndi chikondi kwa mnzanuyo ngati chowiringula, anthu amalamulira ndi kulamulira ena. Chilombo cha maso obiriwira chikakweza mutu wake, mtendere umachoka paubwenziwo. Ngati mwakhala mukudzimva kukhala wosatetezeka za mnzanu, khalani ndi kukambirana nokha. Mudzadabwa kudziwa kuti malingaliro anu ali ndi zambiri zokhudzana ndi katundu wanu wamaganizo kuposa zochita zawo.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kusadzidalira kumalamulira maganizo a okwatirana omwe ali pachibwenzi cholephera. Kumabweretsa nsanje ndi kulimbana kwa mphamvu pakati pa awiriwa.

10. Njira zamachenjera

Popeza kulankhulana molunjika sikumakhalapo muubwenzi wolephera, okwatirana amachita zinthu molakwika ndi monyoza kuti zinthu ziyende bwino. Kudziimba mlandu, kungokhala chete , kuchotsa chikondi, kudzudzula, ndi zina zotero ndi zitsanzo za kuchita zinthu molakwika. Sikuti zimangowononga maganizo okha, komanso zimakhala zoopsa kwambiri komanso zosakhazikika. Onse awiri amakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse ndipo amayamba kulemba kuti ndani 'apambana'.

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Nthawi zonse pamene okwatirana agwiritsa ntchito njira zowonongeka, pamapeto pake amaphwanya malire. Kulanda malo a munthu, kaya m’maganizo kapena mwakuthupi, kumawononganso maziko a kukhulupirirana. Ndipo mukangoyamba kuyenda mumsewu wowongolera wokondedwa wanu m'maganizo, zimakhala zovuta kubwerera. Funso lenileni ndilakuti, chifukwa chiyani mukuwona kufunikira kosokoneza theka lanu labwino m'malo molankhula nawo mwachindunji komanso moona mtima?

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kuwotcha gasi kapena kusokoneza nthawi zonse kumapangitsa kuti mnzanuyo alowe m'malo mwake. Zimabala chizolowezi choipa chomwe chimayambitsa kusakhulupirirana ndi kusakhulupirika.

11. Kusagwirizana ndi ziro ndizofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi wolephera

Lamulo la chala chachikulu cha mgwirizano wabwino ndi kunyengerera; ndi fungulo lomwe limathandiza anthu awiri osiyana kwambiri kukambilana moyo wawo pamodzi. Ngati onse ayamba kuyesetsa kuti zinthu ziziwayendera bwino, ubwenziwo umatha. Kuyanjanitsa ufulu mu maubwenzi ndikofunikira, koma malingaliro a 'ine-before-ife' siwoyenera kwenikweni kukhalira limodzi ndi chikondi. Kusafuna kunyengerera ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zazikulu zakulephera kwa ubale.

Munthu mmodzi akasiya kuchita zinthu mopanda chilungamo, winayo ayenera kugonja kuti zinthu ziyende bwino. Izi zitha kukhala nkhani ya ubale wa mbali imodzi . Kutchula izi ngati zosalungama kungakhale kunyalanyaza. Chitani kafukufuku pang'ono m'mutu mwanu - kodi pali kufanana kwa khama muubwenzi? Kodi inu ndi mnzanu muli ndi malo ochitira zinthu zomwe mumakonda? Kapena nthawi zonse mumakhala mukukangana?

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Kugwirizana ndi mgwirizano womwe umalimbitsa ubale. Kapangidwe kake kamakhala kofooka anthu awiri akayamba kudzikonda.

12. Kuvuta kukhululuka

Jaseena akuti, "Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za kulephera kwa ubale ndi kuvutika kukhululukira mnzanu pa zolakwa zake. Izi zimachitika chifukwa mumataya chifundo kwa iwo. Mumataya mphamvu yowona zinthu monga momwe iwo amaonera kapena simukuziona ngati zofunika kapena zoyenera kusamalidwa. Ngati palibe kukhululukirana mu ubale , mumayamba kusunga chakukhosi - mkwiyo umalowa mkati ndipo umayambitsa kusasangalala kwakukulu." Ngati mwakhala mukuvutika kukhululukira wokondedwa wanu, pali mwayi woti mwayamba kuwakwiyira.

Mumakwiya msanga, mumalankhula mawu achipongwe (omwe amakudabwitsaninso), ndikulumikiza madontho pakati pa ndewu iliyonse. Mukadamvetsetsa phindu la kukhululuka. Monga momwe Martin Luther King Jr. analembera kuti: “Kukhululuka sikutanthauza kunyalanyaza zimene zachitidwa kapena kuika chizindikiro chabodza pa mchitidwe woipa. Kumatanthauza, m’malo mwake, kuti mchitidwe woipawo sukhalanso ngati chopinga cha unansiwo.

Mfundo Yofunika Kuiganizira: Ngati palibe kukhululukirana, ubale umakhala wolemedwa ndi mkwiyo ndi madandaulo. Mapeto ake amakhala pafupi pamene katunduyo umakhala wolemera kwambiri moti m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo sangamunyamule.

Ndipo monga choncho, tafika kumapeto kwa mndandanda wathu wa zizindikiro zolephera zaubwenzi. Ngati pali zizindikiro izi, zomwe zikuwoneka kuti ndizodziwika bwino kapena zomwe zakupatsani malingaliro ozama, kufunafuna thandizo kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi chisankho chanzeru. Mabanja ambiri abwerera m'mbuyo mwamphamvu atafunsira kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo kapena mlangizi. Ku Bonobology, timapereka thandizo laukadaulo kudzera mu gulu lathu la alangizi ovomerezeka omwe angakuthandizeni kuyamba njira yochira. Nthawi zonse timakhala nanu.

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