The Relationship Triangle: Tanthauzo, Psychology ndi Njira Zothana nazo

Kaya mukuvomereza kapena ayi, ubale uliwonse umakhala ndi kusintha kwamphamvu. Nthawi zonse pamakhala wolamulira, wogonjera, ndipo, nthawi zina, kukhalapo kwa wina amene akufuna kuthetsa zonse. Ubwenzi wamakona atatu, chiphunzitso chopangidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Stephen Karpman, cholinga chake ndi kufotokoza zamphamvu zotere. 

Lero, tikulankhula za maudindo omwe anthu omwe ali muubwenzi wachikondi angatenge mosadziwa. Ndipo kodi triangle iyi yaubwenzi imatchedwa chiyani? 'Triangle ya Drama' (mudzawona chifukwa chake). Mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Pragati Sureka (MA mu Clinical Psychology, akatswiri ochokera ku Harvard Medical School), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa munthu payekha kudzera muzinthu zokhudzana ndi malingaliro, tiyeni tiwone za psychology iyi ya triangle yaubwenzi.

Kodi Triangle ya Relationship ndi chiyani?

Katatu waubwenzi sayenera kusokonezedwa ndi katatu wachikondi, komwe zinthu zitatu zachikondi zimakhudzidwa. Komanso sayenera kusokonezedwa ndi chiphunzitso cha Robert Sternberg cha Triangular Theory of Love , chomwe chimalankhula za mtundu wa chikondi chomwe anthu awiri amagawana.

Kodi ubale wa triangle umatchedwa chiyani? Ndipo kodi triangle iyi ya psychology yomwe imalonjeza kufotokoza mavuto omwe amakula mu ubale wathu wapamtima ndi chiyani? Mwachidule, triangle ya ubale, yomwe imadziwikanso kuti 'sewero' triangle, imatiuza za maudindo atatu omwe anthu omwe ali muubwenzi angakhazikikemo mosadziwa ndikukakamizana, zomwe pamapeto pake zimayambitsa, chabwino, sewero.

Maudindo - monga wozunzidwa, wozunza, ndi wopulumutsa - nthawi zambiri amapezeka muzochitika zilizonse makamaka chifukwa amatha kusinthana komanso kuthandizana. Pamene munthu mmodzi ali wokonzeka kugwedezeka ndikusewera gawo la wozunzidwa, nthawi zonse mumawona wozunza kapena wopulumutsa akusewera. 

"Timakonda kuvutika muubwenzi chifukwa sitidziwa udindo umene timagwira mu maubwenzi a triangle. Wozunzidwayo nthawi zonse amapempha thandizo, nthawi zonse amaseweretsa khadi la wozunzidwayo, ndipo amaganiza kuti wina ndiye amene ali ndi udindo pa moyo wake," akutero Pragati.

"M'kupita kwa nthawi, maudindo amenewa, ngakhale angaganizidwe mosadziwa, amayambitsa mikangano m'maubwenzi . Mwachitsanzo, ganizirani gulu la makolo ndi mwana. Mayi akhoza kukhala ndi vuto ndi mwana wosaphunzira ndipo angamukalipire, ndipo bambo angapitirize kumuteteza mwanayo."

"Chotsatira chake, amayi amakhala wozunza, mwana wozunzidwa, ndi bambo wopulumutsa. Pamene maudindowa aikidwa mwala, zimayambitsa mikangano ndi kudzidalira, makamaka pakati pa ozunzidwa." Nkhanizi zimabuka chifukwa palibe aliyense wa ife amene amakonda kuuzidwa chochita. kupanduka, adzakhala ozunza,” iye anamaliza motero. 

Ubale wa makona atatu (wozunzidwa, wopulumutsira, wozunza) ndi woipa kwambiri, ndipo chifukwa chakuti maudindowa amatha kusinthana zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kudziwa yemwe akusewera ndi nthawi yomwe akufunika kuyankhidwa. Sikuti ubale wabwino ndi makona atatu.

Ubale woterewu wa makona atatu ukhoza kubweretsa kuwonongeka kwa psyche ya munthu, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuvomereza ndikuthetsa nthawi yomweyo. Komabe, kuti mudziwe momwe mungatulukire muubwenzi wamakona atatuwa, muyenera kudziwa gawo lomwe mungakhale mukuchita. 

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Kumvetsetsa Maudindo Mu Sewero Lachitatu 

Zingawoneke ngati equation yanu siyikukhudzidwa ndi maganizo awa a relationship triangle. Palibe kusintha kwa mphamvu, palibe sewero, ndipo ndithudi palibe kusintha kwa mlandu mu ubale wanu. Eti? Tiyeni tiwone mwatsatanetsatane maudindo a relationship triangle, kuti mudziwe ngati yanu idawonapo equation yofanana.

1. Wozunza 

Munthu wokhumudwitsidwa, nthawi zambiri kuposa wina aliyense amene amafuna kuti wozunzidwayo "adzakula kale". Chifukwa cha ukali wawo, amatha kuwombera zinthu zopanda pake, kuwonetsetsa kuti wozunzidwayo adziwitsidwa kuti alibe luso. Ntchito ya wozunza nthawi zambiri imachokera ku kukhumudwa.

Iwo akufuna kukhazikitsa ulamuliro. Iwo ndi okhwima, okhwima, olamulira, ndipo amakonda kuwoneka amphamvu kwambiri kuposa ena omwe ali mu chiyanjano. Njira yomwe ntchito ya wozunza imawonetseredwa ndiyokhazikika kwambiri. Komabe, mutu wamba ndi wakuti munthu uyu amaimba mlandu wozunzidwa pa chirichonse chomwe sichingapite molingana ndi dongosolo. 

2. Wozunzidwayo 

Kumene kuli wozunza, pamakhala wozunzidwa. Pragati ananenanso kuti: “Wozunzidwayo amakhala munthu amene nthawi zonse amadziona kuti alibe chochita,” anatero Pragati, ndipo anawonjezera kuti: “Angadzione ngati sangakwanitse kulimbana ndi moyo.” Anthu ambiri amandifunsa ngati ndi anthu amisala ndi opanda nzeru okha amene amachitiridwa nkhanza, koma si choncho. 

"Nthawi zina, chifukwa cha zinthu zosiyanasiyana, anthu angaganize kuti wina ndiye ali ndi udindo pa moyo wawo, kapena chifukwa chakuti sadzidalira." Wozunzidwa nthawi zambiri samadzichitira yekha, chifukwa akuganiza kuti sangathe kutero. Zingamveke ngati zopanda phindu, koma ndikuwona kuti amayi ambiri amatenga udindo wozunzidwa chifukwa zimakhala zosavuta kuimba mlandu chirichonse pa kusagwirizana kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi, kumakhala kosavuta kutsutsa, kusagwirizana kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi kumakhala kosavuta. udindo. 

"Ngati wozunzidwayo azindikira kuti sakuyenera kuchita izi, ngati akumvetsa kuti akhoza kukula bwino komanso osasokonezedwa muubwenzi , palibe chifukwa choti asathawire. Malangizo anga? Tengani udindo, werengani mabuku olembedwa ndi Maya Angelou, ndipo yesani kudzithandiza nokha nthawi yomweyo."

3. Wopulumutsa

“Ndabwera tsopano, ndidzakuuzani mmene mungakonzere chilichonse chifukwa simungachipeze.

“Kaŵirikaŵiri, wopulumutsira amatheketsa munthu,” akutero Pragati, akumawonjezera, “Tenga, mwachitsanzo, agogo ako achikondi.” Sanakulolepo kukuloŵerera m’njira yovulaza ndipo nthaŵi zonse amaletsa makolo ako kukukalipira, eti? 

“Wopulumutsa amalimbikitsa munthu wina kukhala wosoŵa.” Maganizo amene amapangitsa kuti apulumutsidwe nthawi zina angakhale akuti, “Simungathe kukonza moyo wanu nokha, ndiye ndikuphunzitsani mmene mungakonzere.” Nthawi zambiri, chifukwa ngakhale pamakhala wozunza komanso wozunzidwa chifukwa cha wopulumutsa. ”

Tsopano popeza muli ndi lingaliro labwino la momwe maulalo a maulalo atatuwa ali ndi maudindo atatu apadera, ndikofunikira kuyang'ana momwe maudindowo angawonekere kukhala osinthika. 

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Kodi Maudindo Amasinthana Bwanji Muma Triangle A Ubale?

Kodi wogwiriridwayo amakhala wolakwiridwa nthaŵi zonse m’maubwenzi aatatu oterowo? Kodi wozunzayo nthaŵi zonse amakhala waukali ndi wankhanza, ngakhale kuti wopulumutsayo angasonyeze mwano wawo? Pragati akutiuza zonse zomwe tiyenera kudziwa za momwe maubwenzi amatatu awa amayenderana. 

"Pali wozunza chifukwa wina ali wokonzeka kusewera wozunzidwayo. Ngati munthu asiya kusewera wozunzidwayo, wozunzayo adzakakamizika kusanthula zochita zake. Komanso, wozunzayo amadzimva wamphamvu kwambiri chifukwa wawonetsa mphamvu ndi mkwiyo kwa ena. Wozunzidwayo sazindikira kuti ali ndi mphamvu kuposa momwe akuganizira, ndipo sangazindikire zizindikiro za mnzanu wonyenga ."

"Wina amene amatenga mtundu uliwonse wa khalidwe loipa amalikondadi. Wozunzayo sikuti amakhala wolimba kapena wamphamvu monga momwe amaganizira. Kungoti amaloledwa kuchoka ndi zinthu zambiri. Zotsatira zake, wozunzidwayo amanyamula kufooka kwake. Koma zikachuluka, wozunzidwa angaganize kuti "Ndikuwonetsani. Mwandipanga bwanji zimenezi?” Kapena angafune kuti wina awapulumutse, kapena akhoza kukhala wopulumutsa munthu wina, akhoza kutopa poyesa kukonza chilichonse ndipo angakwiyirenso wozunzidwayo.

Chifukwa chake zimakhala zovuta kuwona maudindo mu katatu ka psychology ndikuti amakonda kusintha ndi kuthandizana. Ngati tsiku lina wopulumutsayo akufuna kungoimba mlandu anthu omwe ali pafupi naye, mudzakhala osokonezeka kwambiri kuti muyese kulingalira momwe machitidwe a maubwenzi a katatu alili. 

Momwe Mungathetsere Triangle ya Ubale

Mukakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kukonza chifukwa chimene wozunza akukhala ngati wankhanza monga iwo, inu simukhala kuganiza za triangulation maubale psychology. Zomwe mungasamalire ndikupeza wopulumutsa amene amabwera kudzakupulumutsani kumavuto anu. Pragati akutiuza momwe kudziwa kuti simukufunika komanso kuti simuyenera kudalira munthu wina kuti akonze mavuto anu kungakuthandizireni kusiya ubale wovuta wa makona atatu.

1. Masulani maunyolo amene akuzunzidwawo

"Kuti pakhale chisangalalo muubwenzi ndikutha kutuluka mu izi, wozunzidwayo ayenera kuzindikira kuti akhoza kudzipulumutsa yekha," akutero Pragati, ndikuwonjezera kuti, "Mukasankha kudziyimira nokha, mutha kuchoka paudindo womwe mwina wakonzedweratu kwa inu, kapena udindo womwe mwaphunzira."

"Chomwe timakhala osasangalala si chifukwa cha ntchito yomwe timasewera koma chifukwa timaganiza kuti wina akhoza kutikonza. Njira yokhayo yopitira patsogolo ndikuvomera ndikudziuza kuti ndinu amphamvu komanso odziyimira pawokha. Ngati mwagwidwa ndi sewero lapoizoni, muyenera kuvomereza kuti mukuchitanso chinthu chomwe chingakhale chokhumudwitsa.

"M'malo moyembekezera kuti malo anu asinthe, muyenera kuwona zomwe mungasinthe mwa inu nokha. Kodi kudzidalira kwanu kwachepa? Kapena luso lanu lothana ndi vuto ndi lochepa? Mwinamwake ufulu wachuma ungakuthandizeni, kapena kudziimira pawokha. Chinthu chachikulu chomwe mungatenge kuti musiye mgwirizano wa katatu ndikumvetsetsa kuti kusintha kumayambira mkati. M'malo moyesa kudziwa yemwe akusewera gawo lanji, yesetsani kuchitapo kanthu. 

2. Kulankhulana bwino

"Payeneranso kulankhulana bwino." Nthawi zambiri, wozunzidwayo samayika uthengawo m'mawu oyenerera. Mwina akhoza kukhala olemetsa kwambiri kapena akhoza kuchita mantha kwambiri ndi zomwe angachite ndikudandaula. Ngati anthu awiri akulankhula, muyenera kugwiritsa ntchito liwu loyenera komanso mawu omveka bwino.

Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati chinthu chokhacho chomwe mumakumana nacho ndi nkhanza ndi kunyozedwa muubwenzi wanu , ndikofunikira kuonetsetsa kuti kamvekedwe ka mawu anu sikukuopsezani. Ngati pali chilichonse, pofika pano muyenera kuzindikira kuti wozunza si munthu amene amalandira kutsutsidwa moyenera.

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3. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri 

Zinthu zikawoneka ngati sizikuyenda bwino kapena mukuwona kuti kulumikizana sikutheka chifukwa champhamvu yanu yapoizoni, kufunafuna thandizo la akatswiri a chipani chachitatu ndicho chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite. 

Katswiri wothandiza anthu adzatha kukuuzani vuto lomwe lilipo muubwenzi wanu komanso zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti mukonze vutoli, ndikukupatsani malingaliro osaweruza pa vutoli. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito a Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

Tsopano popeza mukudziwa kuti maulalo atatu ndi chiyani komanso momwe tingakwaniritsire mosadziwa maudindowa, mwachiyembekezo, muli ndi lingaliro labwino la momwe mungasinthire nawonso. Kwa iwo omwe amadzipeza ali pachiwopsezo chotere, Pragati amagawana upangiri womaliza.

"M'malo modzudzula zochitika kapena anthu omwe amakhala nawo, munthu ayenera kuyang'ana kwambiri pa kudzimanga." Pamapeto pa tsikulo, ngakhale kuti miyezo ya chilengedwe ndi yoipa bwanji, timabadwa mwaufulu. Tiyenera kumverera kuti ufulu m'mitu mwathu, ndi zomwe wozunzidwa aliyense ayenera kuyamba nazo.

Ibibazo

Kukonza Ubale Wapoizoni - Njira 21 Zochiritsira PAMODZI

Makhalidwe 13 a Mnyamata Wapoizoni - Ndi Njira zitatu Zomwe Mungatenge

Njira 12 Zothetsera Ubale Wapoizoni

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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