Micro-cheating: Intsingiselo, imizekelo, imiqondiso, kunye neendlela zokujongana

Ukukopa kancinci, njengenaliti ezincinci ezihlaba entliziyweni yakho, kunokubangela intlungu kunye noxinzelelo kubudlelwane. Kukuthambeka okumtyibilizi okubandakanya izenzo ezichuliweyo ezifana nokuqhwanyaza iliso kumntu ongamaziyo, ukudlala ngothando nabazii exes, okanye nokufihla iselfowuni etafileni ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo (kakuhle, kunokubakho isizathu). Ezi ziphatha zibonakala zingenabungozi zinokunyuka, zikhokelela kwiingxabano zobudlelwane kwaye kwezinye iimeko, ukuphela kobudlelwane.

Ke ngoko, kubalulekile ukuqaphela iimpawu zokuqala zokukhohlisa kunye nendlela yokujongana nazo. Isenokuqalisa ngokumsulwa ngencoko ye-intanethi, kodwa ukuba iyekwa ingaqwalaselwa, isenokuphumela ekubeni ube nomntu ongatshatanga naye. Ngokungafaniyo nokungathembeki kwendabuko, apho indoda ilala nomnye umfazi ngokomzekelo, olu hlobo lokukopela ngokweemvakalelo lunzima ukulibona, lusenza kube nzima ngakumbi kwabo babandakanyekayo.

Yintoni Micro-ukukopela A Relationship?

Yintoni micro-cheating kubudlelwane? Research yiYunivesithi yaseBaguio ithi, "Ukukopela okuncinci kuchazwa njengokuziphatha okuncinci okanye isenzo esincinci sokungathembeki. Kubandakanya ukusetyenziswa kwetekhnoloji okanye i-intanethi, ngokukodwa amajelo asekuhlaleni afana ne-Facebook, i-Instagram, kunye nezicelo zokuthandana kwi-intanethi (umzekelo, i-Bumble kunye ne-Tinder). imida yobuhlobo, ukuba neminqweno efihliweyo okanye efihlakeleyo, kunye nokusebenzisa itekhnoloji njengento ephakathi ... (Abaphandi) baye bakwazi ukubonisa ngokukodwa inkcazo yokukhohlisa okuncane okuyizenzo ezisondela kufutshane nokusekwa ngokudibeneyo. imida yobudlelwane. "

Ngoku, khawufane ucinge ukuba uphumile kumhla othandekayo wesidlo sangokuhlwa. Isoka lakho lihlala lijonge omnye umntu ngenkanuko, kodwa lizinqanda ukuwela imida ethile njengokuncamisa. Lo ngumzekelo we-micro-cheating - umdaniso ofihlakeleyo kumgca ococekileyo phakathi kokunyaniseka nokungathembeki. Ibandakanya ezo zenzo zincinci zisenokungagqalwa njengobuqhetseba obupheleleyo kodwa zisenokuphakamisa amashiya.

Kufana nophawu olulumkisayo kulwalamano lokuba elinye iqabane lisenokungazibophelelanga njengelinye. Basenokuzigcina iinketho zabo zivulekile, ziphenjelelwa ngumnqweno wokuphonononga okukhoyo. Kufana nokuba 'phantse' bayakopa, kodwa akunjalo. Nangona kunjalo, inokuphuma kancinci kwisiseko sokuthembana, ishiya indawo yamathandabuzo kunye nokungakhuseleki kubudlelwane.

I-Reddit umsebenzisi ichaza le ntsingiselo ye-micro-cheating, "Masithi usebudlelwaneni kunye no-A. Ukuthandana iminyaka, kubudlelwane bokwenyani. Uphuma nabahlobo kwaye umntu usondela kuwe, ogama linguB. Wena no-B babetha, bathetha ubusuku bonke kwaye batshintshiselana ngeenombolo. Awuzange wenze, awuzange udibanise kodwa nina nihlala ninxibelelana. Thumela i-SMS rhoqo ekuseni, imini yonke, njl. ngokuthetha ukuqhatha ngokweemvakalelo ngaphandle kokuchukumisa nantoni na ngokwasemzimbeni.”

enye umsebenzisi Uthi, "Ukukopa kunqabile ukuba sisenzo ngexesha elinye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kukho amanyathelo amancinci aqhubela phambili kwisehlo sokukopa. Ukuba uye wawathatha la manyathelo kodwa awukawugqibi umqobo wento ocinga ukuba yikopela ngokwenene (ubudlelwane bomzimba okanye ukusondelana ngokweemvakalelo), oko kuwela kule nkcazo.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Umthetho weentsuku ezi-3 emva kwengxoxo-Intsingiselo, Njani kwaye nini ukusebenzisa, iiPros and Cons

Micro-cheating imizekelo

Njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambili, ngokungafaniyo nokukopela okucacileyo, ukukopela okuncinci akusoloko kulula ukuchonga. Ezi zenzo zincinci kodwa zibalulekileyo zinokubandakanya unxibelelwano olunomdla, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo nomntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane, okanye ukugcina unxibelelwano oluthile lufihliwe kwiqabane.

Ukukhanyisa kolu thambeka lomtyibilizi, nantsi eminye imizekelo yobuqhetseba emincinci enokuthi idale ubudlelwane obungenampilo:

• Ufihla umntu wakho wangaphambili okanye umhlobo osondeleyo: Ugcina iingxoxo eziyimfihlo kunye nowakwakho okanye umhlobo osondeleyo ngaphandle kokuxelela iqabane lakho ngalo. Usenokudibana nabo rhoqo
• Udlala ngothando kwi-intanethi nabantu ongabaziyo: Imizekelo yokuqhatha ngokweemvakalelo okanye imiqondiso yokuba uqhatha kancinci inokubandakanya iincoko ezihlekisayo nabantu abangabaziyo kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo, ukuthanda kunye nokuphawula kwizithuba zabo ngendlela engaphaya konxibelelwano lobuhlobo.
• Usondelene kakhulu ngokweemvakalelo nomntu: Wabelana ngeenkcukacha ezinzulu kunye neemvakalelo zobuqu nomntu, udala umda wokukopela ngokweemvakalelo
• Uyaxoka ngonxibelelwano lwakho: Ugcina abafowunelwa ngamagama obuxoki (umzekelo, owayesakuba nguSandra kubonakala ukuba ungumtywini okutsalela umnxeba rhoqo ebusuku?). Kuyingozi xa iqabane lixoka komnye ngonxibelelwano lwabo nabantu abathile
• Uswayipha kwii-apps zokuthandana: Ngaphandle kokuba kubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo bomfazi omnye, uyasebenza kwi-apps zokuthandana. Xa uswayipha kwaye uncokola nabanye kwiiwebhusayithi zokuthandana kwaye iqabane lakho lingazi ngayo, ngomnye wemizekelo ecacileyo yokuthumela imiyalezo emincinci.
• Wenza imizamo eyongezelelweyo kumntu: Uphuma kwindlela yakho kwaye uwele umgca ukukholisa umhlobo, ngakumbi ngelixa ugcina iimfihlo kwiqabane lakho
• Ukhupha iinkcukacha zabucala zobudlelwane bakho: Ubhenela kumntu othile ukuze ufumane inkxaso yeemvakalelo ngaphandle kweqela enibelana ngalo okanye abahlobo bakudala ukuze nixoxe ngemiba yobudlelwane babucala. Kwezinye iimeko, uqhagamshelane ex yakho intuthuzelo ngamaxesha anzima kubudlelwane bakho ngoku
• Iprofayile yakho inenkohliso: Unomfanekiso weprofayile owenza abantu bazive bekhuselekile ukwamkela izicelo zobuhlobo ezivela kuwe kwaye abafumani luvo lokuba ukuyo. ubudlelwane obuzibolekileyo
• Udlala ngothando kumatheko: Udlala ngothando nabantu abahlukeneyo kwaye uwela umda, mhlawumbi naxa iqabane lakho likhona, kwaye oku akudibanisi njengento yokudlala.
• Uhendeka ngokulula: Xa ufumana abanye enomtsalane kubudlelwane, ufuna selfie nabo okanye unqwenela ukudibana nabo kamva. Oku kwenzeka rhoqo kwaye ugqiba ukuthatha iinkcukacha zabo zoqhagamshelwano kwaye ucwangcise ukudibana (funda: "umhla wobuhlobo")
• Wabelana nge-kinky, iziqhulo zabucala: Uneziqhulo zangaphakathi nomnye umntu, ubukhulu becala iziqhulo zeflirty, ukuba iqabane lakho alilazi. Olu nxibelelwano lukhethekileyo lweemvakalelo lukhuthaza ukusondelelana ngokwesini
• Ufihla ubudlelwane bakho kwihlabathi: Uyakuphepha ukukhankanya iqabane lakho okanye isimo sobudlelwane kwiindawo ezithile zentlalo okanye nabantu abathile, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha nakwizithandwa zakho, ebonisa umnqweno wokuvela ungatshatanga kwaye, ewe, ukulungele ukuxubana.
• Ugcina usetyenziso lwemiyalezo eyimfihlo kwimicimbi ye-intanethi: Iimpawu zokukhohlisa zisenokuquka ukusetyenziswa okufihlakeleyo kwe apps imiyalezo yabucala izibini incoko eyimfihlo
• Uzikhusela ngokugqithisileyo malunga nobuhlobo: Uzikhusela okanye uphephe xa iqabane lakho libuza ubudlelwane bakho nomntu othile
• Uphupha ngomntu Rhoqo: Uhlala uphupha ngokuba kunye nomnye umntu ngothando okanye ngokusondeleyo. Unokude uchithe ixesha udlala kwakhona amava othando adlulileyo kunye nee-exs zakho engqondweni yakho
• Uthumela imiyalezo yasebusuku emntwini: Uzibandakanya kumdlalo wokudlala ngothando ngeencoko zasebusuku nomntu ongaphandle kobudlelwane bakho
• Uthelekisa iqabane lakho: Wenza uthelekiso phakathi kweqabane lakho kunye nabanye, nokuba yinkangeleko yabo, impumelelo, okanye iimpawu zobuntu. Oku kunokwenza iqabane lakho lizive lingafanelekanga, libandezeleke ukuzithemba okuphantsi kubudlelwane, kwaye ubonise ukuba unqwenela omnye umntu
• Umdla ogqithileyo kubomi babahlobo bakho abangabodwa: Unomdla ngokugqithisileyo malunga nokuthandana kubomi babahlobo bakho abangatshatanga, ukucebisa umnqweno wamava othando
• Ukhangela umntu kwi-intanethi: Uchitha ixesha ngokugqithisileyo ujonge imisebenzi ye-intanethi yomntu omfumana enomtsalane kwimidiya yoluntu
• Uyalikhanyela ifuthe lezenzo zakho: Uyayikhaba indlela yakho yokukopela encinci njengolonwabo olungenabungozi, zama ukuyithethelela kwaye ujongele phantsi ukubaluleka kwayo, ukwala ukuvuma ifuthe layo kubudlelwane kunye nempilo yengqondo yeqabane lakho.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindidi ezisi-7 zabaqhatha-kwaye Kutheni beQhatha

Iimpawu zeMicro-cheating kubudlelwane

Ukuqonda iimpawu zokuqhatha kancinci kubudlelwane kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ekunyangeni iqhina owabelana ngalo neqabane lakho kunye nokhuseleko lwakho ngokweemvakalelo. Ukukopela kancinci kubandakanya izenzo ezichuliweyo kunye nokuziphatha okuthi, xa kungahoywa, kunokukhokelela kwimiba ebalulekileyo yokuthembana, ukwahlukana, kunye noqhawulo-mtshato. Ukuqaphela le miqondiso kwangethuba kukuvumela ukuba ulungise nayiphi na imiba enokubakho, ubeke imida ecacileyo, womeleze ukuthembana, kwaye uthathe izigqibo eziyimfuneko. Nazi iimpawu ezi-7 eziqhelekileyo zokuqhatha kancinci:

1. Bayikhusela ngokukrokrayo ifowuni yabo

Ngaba ukhe waphawula into fishy ngokwenene kunye nemikhwa ifowuni iqabane lakho? Ukuba kunjalo, kusenokubakho into eyenzekayo ngenxa yokuba oku kunjalo indlela abaqhatha abazifihla ngayo iindlela zabo. Ewe, iqabane lakho linokufumana abanye benomtsalane kubudlelwane kwaye lizibandakanya kukuziphatha okukhohlisayo. Ke nantsi imizekelo embalwa yokuthumela imiyalezo emincinci ekufuneka uyijonge xa ​​umyeni wakho efihla iifowuni:

• Xa uhleli nomntu wakho obalulekileyo, amehlo abo athe nca kwifowuni yabo ngokungathi yiBFF yabo entsha. Abanakubonakala bayibeka phantsi, nokuba okomzuzwana
• Kwaye akuphelelanga apho – Baphatha iifowuni zabo kuyo yonke indawo, nasendlini yangasese! Kuba ngathi bagada imfihlelo exabisekileyo, kwaye ushiywe uziva ukrokreleka
• Bahlutha ifowuni yabo okanye bafihle isikrini nanini na xa kuvela isaziso

2. Balandela i-ex yabo kwimidiya yoluntu (kwaye kukho okungakumbi ebalini)

Zeziphi iimpawu zokuqhatha kancinci? I-Reddit umsebenzisi uthi, "Isoka lam (m26) kunye nam (f23) sineminyaka ephantse ibe ngunyaka ngoku. Ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ebesoloko ekhangela kwaye ekhangela i-ex yakhe kunye namanye amantombazana kuGoogle nakuzo zonke iintlobo zemidiya yoluntu kakhulu, phantse yonke imihla. Ingakumbi owayesakuba yintombi yakhe. Oku kundenza ndingakhululeki kwaye ndinexhala malunga nobudlelwane bethu. Undixelela kwaye uyandithanda kwaye uyandithanda kwaye uyandithanda ngokuqhubekayo. Ikamva lethu kunye kodwa ndiye ndaphelelwa yintembelo kuye ngenxa yale nto, ngoko ndiyathandabuza yonke into ayithethayo.

Yena nomntu awayethandana naye bahlukana kwiminyaka embalwa edlulileyo ngenxa nje yokuba bathandana baza bahlukana kwaye babekunye kangangeminyaka emithandathu, ngoko kuye kwaba yinto yokwahlukana “okuhle.” Ndiyakuqonda ukufun’ ukwazi nokukhangela i ex yakho ngamaxesha athile kodwa le yindlela aziphatha ngayo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba nokuqonda kunye nokuba usebenzisana kakuhle nabantu abaphumeleleyo yinto enye, kodwa xa iqabane lakho lifihla ukusebenzisana kwabo kwimidiya yoluntu kuwe, lixesha lokuba ulumke. Nangona abanye basenokungakholelwa ekuvaleni exes zabo, iba libali ezahlukeneyo xa iqabane lakho libonakala kancinci utyalo-mali kakhulu kubomi babo zentlalo ex kaThixo. Olu hlobo lonxibelelwano lwe-micro-cheating luyinto yokwenyani kwaye lunokonakalisa ubudlelwane. Nazi i iiflegi ezibomvu ukujonga:

• Iqabane lakho lihlala ligcina iithebhu kuhlaziyo lobomi bangaphambili - iiholide, ii-selfies, ubomi bokuthandana
• Baye beshiya ulovey-dovey kwimifanekiso ye-ex yabo ngokungathi basengatshatanga
• Iqabane lakho libonisa ukusabela okwenyukayo ngokweemvakalelo, okufana nomona okanye umsindo, xa izithuba zabo zangaphambili zithumela into ethile kumajelo asekuhlaleni enomhla onokuthi ubekho. Oku kunokubonisa iimvakalelo ezibambekayo okanye imiba engasonjululwanga phakathi kwabo
• Bazibandakanya kwiingxoxo rhoqo kunye ne-ex yabo kwaye bazama ukuyifihla kuwe ngokucima imiyalezo okanye ukusebenzisa i-apps yemiyalezo efihliweyo ukugcina unxibelelwano lwabo luyimfihlo.

3. Bazisa iqabane labo langaphambili kuyo yonke incoko

Xa iqabane lakho lizisa ex zabo kwiincoko ngaphezu koko kubonakala eqhelekileyo, oko kunokudala amathandabuzo engqondweni yakho. Ngelixa ukuhlala nobuhlobo kunye nomntu othandana naye kulungile kwiimeko ezininzi, ukwazi zonke iinkcukacha ezisondeleyo kwiinyanga emva kokwahlukana kunokuba ngunobangela wokukhathazeka. Kubalulekile ukuba nencoko enyanisekileyo ukuba ukuziphatha kweqabane lakho kubonakala kuxhomekeke kakhulu kwixesha labo elidlulileyo. Lumkela olu phawu njengoko lunokuba luhlobo oluchuliweyo lokukopela kancinci.

4. iinkangeleko zabo ukuthandana apps zisekhona

“Ukuhlola ukuba yintoni na” kwiindawo zokuthandana akuyongozi. I-Reddit umsebenzisi shares, “Zange ndarhanela ukuba iqabane lam liza kuqhatha, wayesoloko endiqinisekisa, endithanda, kwaye endikhathalele. Wenza umzamo, walungiselela imisitho emikhulu yeentsuku ezikhethekileyo (usuku lokuzalwa, isikhumbuzo, iKrisimesi). AKAZE andenze ndizive ndingahoywanga. Eyona nxalenye imangalisayo? Sikunye yonke imihla. Ngokwenene yinto nje eyenzeka ngebhaqo ukuba iqabane lam alizange lindixelele ukuba u-app wam alibhaqiwe na okanye alizange linditshele ukuba u-app wakho umxelele na okanye undixelele ukuba iqabane lakho alizange linditshele nge-Timender. gf apho, kwaye NDABUQELA ndayisebenzisa kwaye ndingalindelanga ukufumana iqabane lam apho. "

Wongezelela ngelithi, “Nangona kunjalo, ndenza njalo, yaye xa ndadibana naye, isizathu sakhe yayikukuba onke amadoda aye apha naphaya ukuze akhangele nje amehlo, kodwa akazange athethe namntu yaye wayengenamdla wokwenjenjalo. ukuphelisa ubudlelwane njengoko ebesoloko emangalisa kum nakubudlelwane, kwaye oku kube yingxaki yethu kuphela. Nangona kunjalo ndiyazibuza ukuba ingaba ngumahluko wexabiso na njengoko ndingazukukhangela nje ukuzonwabisa. "

Kulungile, abantu ngokubanzi musa "ukukhangela nje for fun" kwi ukuthandana websites ngelixa ukuba kubudlelwane bonwabile kwaye uzibophelele. Noko ke, ukuba ufumanisa iqabane lakho ukuthandana iprofayile isasebenza, inokuba ukuziphatha engafanelekanga okanye enye yeempawu zokuqala ukukopela kubudlelwane. Icebisa ukuba basenokuvuleleka kunxibelelwano lweemvakalelo olutsha, kwaye ubudlelwane bakho bungaqini njengoko ubucinga.

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Yintoni Ukuziphindezela Ukukopa? 7 Izinto ekufuneka Uzazi

5. Baya kwenza nantoni na ukunqanda ukuya nawe kwimisitho yolonwabo

Ukuya kwimisitho njengesibini yinxalenye yendalo yobudlelwane obuninzi. Ukuba ubona iqabane lakho lisoloko lifuna ukuya kulo lilodwa, oko kunokuphakamisa iinkxalabo ezithile. Ngelixa kukho izizathu ezinyanisekileyo zokuphuma wedwa, lumka ukuba bahlala besala inkampani yakho ngezizathu ezithandabuzekayo ezinjengokuthi “Lipati elikruqulayo” okanye “Ndiza kuba lapho imizuzu eli-15 kuphela.” Banokuba nethemba lokudibana nomntu othile kwaye bayigcine ifihliwe kuwe.

Ukuba banyanzelisa ukuhamba wedwa nasemva kokuba ubonakalise umdla wokuhamba nabo, kusenokubakho into ekrokrisayo eyenzekayo. Akuqinisekanga ukuba bazama ukurhwebesha omnye umntu, kodwa imfuneko yokufihla ingcebiso kumnqweno wokudlala ngothando okanye ukuhlola ezinye. unxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo. Oku kunokuba luphawu olucacileyo lokukopela kancinci kubudlelwane.

6. Basoloko bencumela ifowuni yabo – Kwaye hayi, asiyo meme yenja

Zeziphi iimpawu zokuqhatha kancinci? Xa iqabane lakho lihlala lincuma kwifowuni yabo ngendlela eyimfihlo, kunokuba kufanelekile ukunikela ingqalelo. Umyalezo omnandi okanye omnandi unokuba sisizathu sovuyo. Linda amaxesha ambalwa phambi kokuba ubuze ukuba bancumela ntoni ukuze uqonde imeko. Ukuba bakubonisa isicatshulwa okanye umfanekiso, akukho nto inokukhathazeka ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba baphendula ngokuphindaphindiweyo "ngento" kwaye babonakala bethandabuza ukwabelana, kunokuba luphawu lwe-micro-cheating kumajelo asekuhlaleni.

U-Olivia (29) waseMiami uthi, "Iimeko zokukopela zinokwahluka ngokubanzi, kwaye ukukopela akusoloko kucacile njengoko kubonakala. Ngokomzekelo, yintoni i-micro-flirting? Ibandakanya ukusebenzisana okufihlakeleyo okungenakuwela umgca ekukopeni ngokomzimba. Kodwa ngaba ukufuna ingqalelo kwabanye ngelixa kubudlelwane ukukopela ngokunjalo? Into ekhoyo kukuba, ngokutsho kweqabane lam elidlulileyo lokuthandana kunye neqabane lam elidlulileyo liqala, ngokutsho kweqabane lam elidlulileyo. kubonakala ngathi behlala bencuma kwiifowuni zabo ngelixa befumana ingqalelo ekhethekileyo komnye umntu ezi zinto zincinci zisenokubonakala zimsulwa kodwa ndithembe, ziphelisa ukuthembana ngokuhamba kwexesha.

7. Bayazikhusela kwaye bazame ukukukhanyisela ngegesi xa uzisa isimilo sabo sobuqhetseba obuncinci

Enye yezona zibonakaliso ezibalulekileyo ze-micro-cheating yi-intuition. Kwi ubudlelwane obuphilileyo, kufuneka kubekho unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo phakathi kwamaqabane, ngakumbi ukuba kukho into ekhathaza omnye wabo. Ke xa ukuziphatha kweqabane lakho kuhlala kukukhathaza ngasemva kwengqondo yakho, kungokwemvelo ukuyiveza. Iqabane lokwenene, elingenasiphoso, liya kuvuleka ukuba lihlale phantsi lixoxe ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo, lifune ukuqonda nokucacisa naziphi na izikrokro. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ubona utshintsho kumandla kunye nokuziphatha kwabo, kunye nokuziva benetyala okanye ukuthandabuza, kunokuba luphawu lokungathembeki kubudlelwane.

Ngethuba le ngxoxo okanye ukujongana, iqabane lakho linokuthi lizikhusele ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye libhabhe ngumsindo. Ukuphelisa iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ukwenze ukuba ungathandabuzi intuition yakho, banokusebenzisa iingxelo zegesi ezifana:

• "Uzenza nje i-paranoid, akukho nto iqhubekayo."
• “Kutheni usoloko uzama ukufumana iingxaki apho zingekhoyo?”
• Andikholelwa ukuba wenza into enkulu kangaka ngokungekho.
• Andikhohlisi nje kancinci. Ubonakala unobuntununtunu kwaye usabela ngokugqithisileyo.
• "Kufuneka ungakhuselekanga ukucinga ukuba ndingenza into enje."
• “Yonke into isentloko yakho, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ndiyenzileyo.”
• "Uzama ukuqala umlo ngaphandle kwesizathu."
• “Uzama nje ukundilawula ngokuzisa ezi zityholo zingenasihlahla.”
• “Yeka ukuba nomona nokundityhola ngokuqhatha ngokweemvakalelo, akumnandanga.”
• "Wenza la mabali okukopela amancinci ukwenza umdlalo kubudlelwane bethu."

Ukujongana njani neMicro-cheating

Ukujongana ne-micro-cheating kubudlelwane kunokuba ngumngeni kunye nenkqubo yomoya. Kubalulekile ukujongana nesi sihloko sibuthathaka ngovelwano kunye nonxibelelwano oluvulekileyo. Ngokujongana ngqo nomba kunye nokusebenza kunye, kunokuba lula ukukhangela le meko. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokujongana ne-micro-cheating kunye yomeleza ubudlelwane bakho (kwaye ewe, ukuba kuyimfuneko, yiba nesibindi kwaye wenze eso sigqibo ubusoyika):

1. Khangela into ekukhathazayo kwasekuqaleni

Ngaphambi kokuba ungene kuloo ncoko yentliziyo-to-ntliziyo malunga nokukhohlisa kancinci kunye neqabane lakho, thatha inyathelo emva kwaye ufumanise ukuba yintoni ekukhathazayo. Ngemizekelo emininzi yokuqhatha kancinci kwi-intanethi, kulula ukuphenjelelwa kwaye ucinge kakhulu ngezinto ngaphandle kwesizathu esibambekayo. Umzekelo, iqabane lakho linokonwabela ukuskrola kwimidiya yoluntu ngelixa lisela ikofu yalo yasekuseni, kwaye kuqhelekile oko. Kodwa ngequbuliso, unokuqala ukuyibona njengophawu lokukopela emitshatweni. Ukunqanda ukuxhalaba okungeyomfuneko kunye nokukrokra, nanga amanyathelo okuqala okufuneka uwalandele:

• Thatha umzuzwana ucinge ngotshintsho lokuziphatha oluphawulileyo olunxulumene nokukhohlisa kancinci
• Zibuze ukuba kutheni ezi ziphatho zikukhathaza kwaye ingaba ziiflegi ezibomvu zokwenyani. Kubalulekile ukwahlula iinkxalabo zokwenyani nokungazithembi
• Ngaphambi kokuba uxoxe ngalo mba kunye neqabane lakho, qiniseka ukuba ayizizo iimvakalelo zakho okanye ukuthambekela okudlalayo endaweni yezenzo zabo. Ngale ndlela, uya kuba nembono ecacileyo xa uxoxa ngalo mbandela kwaye unokusebenzela kwisisombululo esinemveliso ngakumbi

2. Thetha ngokunyaniseka ngeemvakalelo zakho

Ukuba izenzo zeqabane lakho azenzeki ngabom, kukho ithuba elingcono lokulungisa izinto. Thatha ujuxuzo kwaye uxelele iqabane lakho ngemiqondiso obuyijongile kunye nendlela ekukhathaza ngayo. Basenokungayiqondi impembelelo yezenzo zabo okanye kuthathwa ngokuba kukukopela okuncinci. Kwimeko enjalo, iqabane elinengqiqo liya:

• Qonda ubunzima bemeko
• Zimisele ukwenza utshintsho ukunqanda ubuqhetseba obuncinci
• Luxabise ulwalamano lwakho ngaphezu konxibelelwano olungenantsingiselo nabantu ongabaziyo kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo
• Zihloniphe iimvakalelo zakho
• Zama unyango lwezibini okanye ufikelele kwiingcali zobudlelwane obuchwephesha

USophia (36) waseColorado uthi, “Ndakhe ndazibona sele ndibambekile umcimbi ngokweemvakalelo nowayesakuba ngumhlobo wam, kwaye emva koko, ukona okuncinci kudlale indima ebalulekileyo. Ndade ndamkela i-micro-cheating psychology - ndaziqinisekisa ukuba ukucima imiyalezo ngumzamo nje wokuchitha ifowuni yam. Ukanti, yayikufihla ukuncwasa kwethu singazimiselanga kunye nencoko eyayiqhubeka ngokuthe ngcembe ngokuthumelelana imiyalezo ngefowuni. Nkqu nezinto ezibonakala zingenabungozi njengotshintshiselwano lwe-Snapchat lwe-flirty aluzange lukhale ii-alam. Ngenye imini, ndazifumana ndizibuza, "Ingaba ukukopela kancinci kuyaxoleleka?" Xa ndijonga emva, ndiziva ngathi ndiqhathile kodwa andizange ndizibandakanye ekuqhatheni ngokwenyani kwinqanaba lobudlelwane bomzimba. Mhlawumbi ibikukopela okuthambileyo njengoko abantu bekubiza njalo, kodwa nokuba bekuyintoni na, ndigqibe kwelokuba ndinyaniseke kwisithandwa sam kwaye ndijonge kwiimfuno zam zeemvakalelo. "

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Ukungafihli kubudlelwane: intsingiselo, indlela yokubonisa kunye neengcebiso ezifihlakeleyo

3. Xoxani ngokuba kuthetha ntoni kuwe ukukopela kancinci

Micro-cheating kuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kubantu abohlukeneyo. Umzekelo, ukuncoma okungenabungozi kwiqabane lakho ukuya komnye umntu kunokubonwa njengokukopela kancinci ngumntu omnye, ngelixa omnye umntu esenokungayikhathaleli kwaphela. Ukuqonda lo mahluko kunye nokwahlula phakathi kweempawu zokuqhatha kunye nokuqhatha kancinci kubalulekile.

Ke, thatha ixesha lokuhlala phantsi neqabane lakho kwaye nixoxe ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukukopela kuni nobabini. Yabelana ngeengcinga zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngokuphandle, kwaye ukhuthaze iqabane lakho ukuba lenze okufanayo. Le ncoko yababini iya kunceda ukuseka imida ecacileyo kunye nolindelo, iqinisekisa ukuba nobabini nikwiphepha elinye ukuya phambili. Nokuba kukunqanda izincomo zothando okanye ukuhlonipha amanqanaba okuthuthuzela omnye komnye, ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ebaluleke njengokukopela kuwe njengesibini kubalulekile kubudlelwane olomeleleyo nobuthembanayo.

Yeyiphi eminye imizekelo yobuqhetseba obuncinci? UDavid (27) ovela eWashington uthi, "Izinto ezithathwa ngokuba kukukopela zinokususela kunxibelelwano lweemvakalelo ukuya kwizenzo zomzimba. Umzekelo, iimpawu zokuqhatha ze-Instagram zinokubandakanya ukuthanda kunye nezimvo eziyimfihlo. Ukubhalela abanye abafana ngefowuni ngelixa kubudlelwane kwakhona ibe uhlobo micro-ukukopela, okanye uthi, ukucwangcisa secret meet-ups namantombazana ufumana enomtsalane online. Yindawo engwevu, ndiyavuma, kodwa ezi ntshukumo zibonakala zincinci zinokuba neziphumo ezibalulekileyo. Ngoku, imicro-cheating iyaxoleleka? Oko kuxhomekeke kwimilinganiselo yesibini nasekukulungeleni ukuphinda sakhe ukuthembana. Ndivakalelwa kukuba yiloo nto kubalulekile ukuba sithethe ezi zinto kwasekuqaleni kulwalamano.”

4. Jongana nezithintelo, kwaye ewe, iindawo zokuthandana

A isifundo wafumanisa ukuba ukungathembeki kulwalamano kunokukhokelela ekungazinzini ngokweemvakalelo, kwiingxabano, kwanasenokwenzeka ukuba kuqhawulwe umtshato. Abantu abangakwaziyo ukuthemba amaqabane abo (umzekelo, kwiimeko zokuqhatha kancinci) kunokwenzeka ukuba bajonge iiselfowuni zamaqabane abo, beyenza mandundu imiba yokuthembana kubudlelwane.

Ngoko ke, endaweni yokuthatha le ndlela, yiba nencoko enyanisekileyo malunga nabo abathandana neeprofayili ezihlala kwifowuni yeqabane lakho. Vumela iqabane lakho liqonde indlela intsebenziswano yabo yemihla ngemihla kunye namaqabane abo okukhathazayo. Emva koko uze nezisombululo ezinokubakho kunye. Ngelixa usenza oku, kubalulekile ukwenza ulungelelwaniso phakathi kokulahla kunye nokulawula. Unako ukuphelisa ezi zinto zibangela zincinci kubudlelwane ngaphandle kokulawula iqabane lakho. Ke nika iqabane lakho indawo eliyifunayo ngelixa liqinisekisa unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo njengoko nobabini nizama ukuqonda i-micro-cheating psychology.

5. Misela imida yobudlelwane obunempilo

Uyazibuza ukuba ungayeka njani ukukopela emitshatweni? Kubalulekile ukuba ube kwiphepha elinye kwaye ube neengxoxo ezivulekileyo malunga nokuba zeziphi iindlela zokuziphatha ezamkelekileyo nezingamkelekanga, ukugcina iimfuno zeqabane ngalinye engqondweni. Kodwa ungalibali ukuzibekela imida nawe. Ukuba awufuni ukuba iqabane lakho lincome umntu ngokuncwasa, qiniseka ukuba nawe uyayeka ukwenza okufanayo xa udibana nomfanekiso onomtsalane kumajelo asekuhlaleni. Ukumisela njalo imida enempilo kubalulekile ukukhusela ubudlelwane bakho kubuqhetseba obuncinci. Nantsi imizekelo embalwa yemida kubudlelwane emva kokukopela okanye ukukopela encinci onokuthi uyibeke ngokuxhomekeke kwimeko yakho:

• Musa ukutshintshiselana ngemiyalezo emnandi nabanye
• Kuphephe imfihlo egqithisileyo malunga nokusebenzisana kwe-intanethi okanye ukusetyenziswa kwefowuni
• Nciphisa unxibelelwano namaqabane angaphambili kwiincoko eziyimfuneko kuphela
• Vumelana ukuba ungasebenzisi iisayithi zokuthandana ngelixa uzibophelele kubudlelwane
• Yiba elubala malunga nomsebenzi wemidiya yoluntu, kubandakanya ukuthanda, izimvo, kunye nokulandelayo
• Akukho kufihla okanye ukugcina abafowunelwa ngamagama obuxoki ukufihla unxibelelwano nabanye
• Nciphisa unxibelelwano nabantu abanomdla onzulu wothando kulo naliphi na iqabane
• Kuphephe ukuthelekisa amaqabane angoku kunye nobudlelwane bangaphambili

6. Yakhani kwakhona ukuthembana kunye

Ukuba nendoda ngaphandle komtshato apho ulala nomnye umntu ayikokuphela kwento enokulimaza iqabane. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukukopa kancinci kunokuvakala kuyinto encinci, kodwa kunokuthatha ixesha elide ukuphilisa amanxeba kunye nokwakha ukuthembana kwakhona. Nazi ezinye iindlela ezikhethekileyo zokuvuselela ukuthembana emva kokukopela okanye ukukopela kancinci:

• Cwangcisa uhambo lwempelaveki okanye umhla wokumangala ukuvuselela uthando kubudlelwane bexesha elide uze womeleze amaqhina akho ngokweemvakalelo
• Yenza ibhodi yombono ekwabelwana ngayo yekamva, ichaza iinjongo zobudlelwane kunye neminqweno kunye
• Thatha ikhefu kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo kangangexesha elithile, ugxile ekwakheni ukuthembana kunye nonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo ngaphandle kweintanethi
• Zama unyango lwesibini okanye iingcebiso kwi-intanethi, thetha neengcali zobudlelwane, kwaye uye kwiindibano zocweyo zobudlelwane okanye iisemina kunye ukuze ufunde indlela yokwakha ukuthembana kubudlelwane emva kokukopela.

7. Yazi ixesha lokuyeka

Ukwazi ixesha lokuyeka kunokuba nzima, ngakumbi xa ujongene ne-micro-cheating. Nangona kusenokungabonakali kuqatha njengokukopela ngokwasemzimbeni, impembelelo yeemvakalelo inokuba buhlungu ngendlela efanayo. Akufunekanga ibethelelwe ecaleni njengento engenamsebenzi kuba oku kuphulwa kuncinci kokuthembana kunokwenza ikhephu libe likhulu. iingxaki zobudlelwane ekuqhubekeni.

Ukuba neencoko ezivulekileyo malunga neemvakalelo zakho kunye nokubeka imida kubalulekile, kodwa ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala liyigatya, kunokuhlwayela imbewu yokungathembani nengqumbo. Xa uzifumana unamathele kwipatheni apho iqabane lakho licela uxolo kodwa liqhubeke nezenzo ezifanayo, uzifihla ngcono ixesha ngalinye, kukho ukungabikho kokuzinikela ekutshintsheni. Ke, ukuba uye wavakalisa inkxalabo yakho kwaye bayaqhubekeka, cinga ngokuphinda uphonononge ubudlelwane.

Ukuhlala kubudlelwane obuyityhefu obunjalo kunokukhokelela kwiintlungu ezingakumbi. Yiba nokholo kwi-intuition yakho kwaye ube nobubele kuwe ngokuyeka ukuhamba ukuba kuyimfuneko. Esikhundleni sokulila ubusuku bonke malunga neqabane lakho elikukopelayo, khumbula ukuba ufanelwe kubudlelwane apho omabini amaqabane azibophelele kwintlonipho kunye nokhuseleko lweemvakalelo.

Ngelixa isenokungathwali ubunzima obufanayo nokungathembeki kwemveli, ukukopa kancinci kunokuba nefuthe elinamandla, kukhukulise ilitye lesiseko. ukuthembela kubudlelwane. Nokuba ukwicala lokufumana ezo pricks zincinci okanye uyazenza, eyona nto iphambili ikukukhuthaza ukuqondana, uvelwano, kunye nokuhloniphana ngelixa omabini amaqabane ejonga ibhalansi ethambileyo phakathi kwento eyamkelekileyo nengamkelekanga.

Eli nqaku lihlaziywe ngo-Agasti ka-2023.

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.