Yintoni Ghosting: Gqibezela Isikhokelo kwi Brutal Dating Trend

Ubume bobudlelwane bale mihla buphose iindlela ezininzi ezinomdla, ezithatha uluhlu olubanzi-olumnandi, olulungeleyo, oludidayo kunye nolunya. Esinye isiphelo esikhohlakeleyo se-spectrum singumbono womoya wokuthandana kunye nobudlelwane. 

Ukuba ubukhe wasebenza kwindawo yokuthandana, amathuba okuba kuye kwafuneka uginye le pilisi ikrakrayo okanye uyiphathe komnye umntu. Ke, kukhuselekile ukucinga ukuba uyayazi impendulo emfutshane, yintoni ighosting? Ngokusisiseko kuthetha ukunyamalala kubomi bomntu, ngequbuliso, ngaphandle kwesilumkiso okanye ingcaciso—njengesiporho. Ngelixa ukuphefumla umntu kunokubonakala kulula kwaye kungenangxaki, impembelelo yako ihlala inzima kakhulu kwaye ihlala njalo. 

Yiyo loo nto, ndiziva ngamandla ukuba kukho imfuneko yokuqonda ngakumbi malunga nentsingiselo yesiporho kunye neziphumo zayo. Ngenxa yoko, eli nqaku. Ukuba usandul’ ukufumana ilishwa lokungenwa ngumoya, kwaye unengxaki yemibuzo efana nale: kutheni umntu angakubhubhisa ngaphandle kwesizathu, kuthetha ukuthini xa kukho umntu osisiporho, okanye ucinga ngokutsala isiporho, qhubeka ufunde. Imbono entsha inokukunceda ukuba ujongane nale meko ngcono kakhulu. 

Yintoni iGhosting?

Okokuqala, makhe sibuyele kumbuzo okhoyo: yintoni isiporho? Ngoku, njengoko sele ndikhankanyile, kwaye njengoko usazi, ukuphefumla kuthetha ukugqiba irelatiukuhamba ngequbuliso, ngaphandle kwengcaciso okanye isilumkiso. Nangona kunjalo, kukwathetha ukuba umntu ophethwe ngumoya ushiywe edidekile kwaye eqikelela ukuba kwenzeke ntoni.  

Ethetha ngamava akhe okuba sisiporho, uSheila oneminyaka engama-32 ubudala oyincutshe kwezentengiso uthi: “Sasilele ebhedini, sangana yaye singxola. 

Ngaba unokucinga ngokuthetha ngokwabelana ngamagunjana kunye nokuhamba ngomzuzu omnye kwaye unyamalale emoyeni omncinci olandelayo? Ukuphefumla kubudlelwane okanye naxa uthandana kunokuba yingozi kwimpilo yengqondo yomntu osisiporho kwaye kunokubashiya bezamana nokuzithemba okonakeleyo, ukuzixabisa okuphantsi, kunye nentlungu yokungafunwa. Brutal, njengoko benditshilo. Nantsi into eyenza kube njalo:

• Akukho silumkiso okanye ingcaciso: Isiporho siluqhawula unxibelelwano ngaphandle kweblue, ngaphandle kwencoko
• Iya ixhaphaka ngakumbi: I-Ghosting iya ixhaphake ngakumbi kwesi sizukulwana sedijithali, okuthetha ukuba abantu abaninzi bazamana neziphumo zako.
• Impembelelo ngokweemvakalelo: Lowo ubethwa ngumoya udla ngokuziva engafunwa, ebhidekile, yaye ebuhlungu
• Ukunqongophala kokuvalwa: IGhosting ivalela abantu ithuba lokuqonda isizathu sokuphela kobudlelwane

UkuFunda okuFanayo: UGhosted Emva koMhla Wokuqala? Kutheni isenzeka kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo

Kutheni Abantu Bezingela?

Ngenxa yobubi bokwenza oku, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuzibuza, “Kutheni abantu besiporho nje?” Ewe, yikholelwe okanye ungayikholelwa, ngelixa i-ghosting ngokungathandabuzekiyo ingenantliziyo, abantu ababhenela kuyo isenokungabi njalo. Le mfuneko yokukrazula nje lonke unxibelelwano kwaye unyamalale ihlala ivela kumthwalo weemvakalelo zomntu. Ayikakwenzi ukuba kulunge-hayi ngokudubula okude-kodwa "ayinguwe, ngabo” Ukuqonda kunokwenza ukuba umntu osisiporho enze uxolo nayo.

• Uloyiko longquzulwano: Isiporho sisenokungabi lungileyo ngeencoko ezinzima okanye ukujongana ngezikhondo zamehlo, kwaye sinokukhetha indlela elula yokuphuma
• Ukungafumaneki ngokweemvakalelo: Ukungalungeli ubudlelwane obuzibophelele okanye unxibelelwano olunzulu lweemvakalelo 
• Ukuziva ukongamela: Basenokuziva becinezelekile okanye bonganyelwe lisantya sobudlelwane kwaye bakhethe ukunyamalala kunokuba balulungise
• Ukuphulukana nomdla: Endaweni yokunyaniseka, bakhetha indlela elula yokubhanga ngaphandle kwengcaciso
• Ukuphepha ukuba buhlungu: Basenokukholelwa ukuba isiporho yindlela ethambileyo yokuphelisa izinto, becinga ukuba kuya kuba buhlungu ngaphantsi kokwahlukana ngokunyanisekileyo.
• Imiba yobuqu engasonjululwanga: Iziporho zinokuba nokungakhuseleki kwazo, iintlungu ezidlulileyo, okanye imiba yokuzibophelela ezibenza bagcine uqhagamshelwano
• Ukuzonwabisa: Kulula kakhulu ukunyamalala ngocofa nje okumbalwa kunokujongana neemvakalelo ezimdaka ezihlala zibandakanya ukuphelisa ubudlelwane.

Wazi Njani Ukuba Ukhe Waphila?

Ukunika amandla anzima we ukuthandana mihla kunye nobudlelwane, kunokuba nzima ukwazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ukhe wabethwa ngumoya-ubuncinane ekuqaleni. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngaphandle kokuba ukwixesha elide, ubudlelwane obuzinzileyo, ukunxibelelana rhoqo okanye iintlanganiso zobuqu azinikezelwanga. Xa “ugcina izinto ziqhelekile”, “uhamba nje” okanye “ungabeki naziphi na iileyibhile”, kubuqhinga ukuseta okulindelekileyo kunye nemida. Ngoko ke, wazi njani ukuba umdla wakho wothando/ukunyamalala kweqabane lakho kungenxa yokuba bexakekile okanye bagqibe kwelokuba baphelise izinto? Ewe, naluphi na utshintsho olubalulekileyo noluzingileyo kwiipateni zonxibelelwano luphawu lwakho lokuqala nolona lucacileyo. Nantsi indlela olu tshintsho olunokuthi lubonakalise ngayo: 

1. Ukunyamalala ngesiquphe kunxibelelwano

Kuthetha ukuthini xa umntu ekubhuqa? Kuthetha ukuba bayayeka ukunxibelelana nawe, ngequbuliso kwaye ngaphandle kwengcaciso. Imibhalo, iminxeba, nemiyalezo yelizwi ayiphendulwa, nto leyo eyahluke ngokuphawulekayo kuko nakuphi na ukuphoxeka kwemvelo kunxibelelwano olunokwenzeka ukuba omnye umntu uxakekile, exakekile, okanye exakekile. ukufuna indawo ethile. Nantsi into ebonakala ngathi isiporho ekuthandanani:  

• Bayekile ukuphendula xa befika mihla le
• Iminxeba yakho iya ngqo kwivoyisimeyili ngokuphindaphindiweyo
• Ubonakala ungakwazi ukufikelela kubo

Echaza isizathu soku, isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Jennifer Rhodes sithi, “Ukuthula kuthetha lukhulu kuba xa ubani umkhathalele ngokwenene, udla ngokuchaza imfuneko yesithuba okanye ukulibaziseka ekuphenduleni.” 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Indlela yokuphendula kwi-Ghosting-80 Iimpendulo zexabiso eliphezulu

2. Ukungabikho okungaqondakaliyo kwimidiya yoluntu

Ukungalandeli, ukungahoyi, okanye ukuvimba umntu kuyo yonke indawo i-ghosting 101. "I-Ghosters isoloko isebenzisa iibhloko zeendaba zentlalo ukuze zenze umda onzima, ukuphelisa ukukwazi ukuqhagamshelana," kuchaza umgqirha uNatalie Jones. Ukuba kukho umntu okubhuqayo, banokusuka banxibelelane rhoqo baye kuthi cwaka ngequbuliso. Basenokwenza umgama ngabom ngokuthi: 

• Ngequbuliso uyeka ubuhlobo / ungakulandeli kuFacebook okanye ku-Instagram
• Vimbela okanye wenze iakhawunti yabo ibe yimfihlo ngaphandle kwesilumkiso
• Ungaphenduli nangona ukwi-intanethi 
• Thumela ii-DMs zakho kwindawo ebonwayo

3. Ukwehla ngokukhawuleza komgudu kunye nomdla

Ukuba iincoko zakho ziye zasuka ekuzibandakanyeni ziye kwinto engekhoyo okanye iimpendulo zazo azicacanga okanye azityalwanga kangangokuba akukho mda wokuyisa incoko phambili, unokuba kumanqanaba okuqala okuba nesiporho. Le ndlela ikwabizwa ngokuba isiporho esithambileyo okanye i-caspering, apho umntu ngokuthe ngcembe eyeka ukunxibelelana neempendulo ezimenza abonakale engenamdla kwincoko ngaphambi kokuba ekugqibeleni ayeke ngokupheleleyo ukunxibelelana. Umntu othobekileyo onokuthi, 

• Thumela imibhalo ye-monosyllabic efana no"kulungile", "ewe", okanye "hmmmm"
• Yeka ukuthumela umyalezo kuqala kodwa uphendule 
• Yekani ukuqalisa izicwangciso okanye iincoko ezinentsingiselo

4. Ukungahoyi imibuzo ethe ngqo okanye ukuphepha izicwangciso

Isiporho sinokuphepha naziphi na iinzame zokwenza izicwangciso okanye ukuphepha imibuzo malunga nokuba zisingise phi na izinto. "Iziporho zihlala zikuphepha ukuphendula ngokugcina izicwangciso zingacacanga, zishiya omnye umntu ekwimeko yokungaqiniseki," utshilo umqeqeshi wobudlelwane uLindsey Ellison. Oku kudla ngokuba luphawu lokuba a umntu uphelelwa ngumdla kunye nokuthatha inyathelo emva, kwaye kunokubangela ukuziphatha okunje, 

• Ukucwangcisa ngokutsha imihla ngaphandle kwesizathu esibambekayo
• Ukuphendula imibuzo malunga nekamva
• Ukungazibophelelanga malunga nokufumaneka kwabo, nokuba kungenxa yezicwangciso zexesha elifutshane okanye ixesha elide

5. Uziva ngathi uthetha nodonga

Wazi njani ukuba ujongene nesiporho ngokuthandana okanye unxibelelwano lothando? Ewe, iqala ukuba ngathi uthetha nodonga. I ukungabikho kolwazi kwaye umzamo uyakhathaza kangangokuba ufune ukuyiphelisa ngokwakho-nto leyo kanye enokuthi ifunwa sisiporho. Ngenxa yoko, banokuthi,  

• Yeka ukuqalisa uqhagamshelwano 
• Yeka ukubuza imibuzo 
• Gcina iimpendulo zabo zimfutshane kwaye zivaliwe 
• Thatha ixesha elide kabuhlungu ukuphendula iitekisi okanye ukubuya umnxeba

Impembelelo yeGhosting 

Sele sithethile ngeemvakalelo zokungaxabiseki kunye nokwenzakala okuvuswa sisiporho emntwini, kwaye saphinda sachukumisa inyani yokuba imfuno yesiporho isuka kowakhe umntu. umthwalo weemvakalelo. Njengoko kuvela, isenzo somoya asinqunywanga kwaye somile emva koko. Nantsi indlela ukuphefumla okudlala ngayo kwiingqondo zabantu:

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Umele Wenze Ntoni Xa Ekugqwethekileyo Wabuya

Indlela isiporho esiwuchaphazela ngayo isiporho

Ukuba nesiporho kunokuba ngamava abuhlungu kakhulu. Isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Jennice Vilhauer uthi, “Ukuthula kwemimoya kubangela ukudideka kwengqondo, nto leyo ebangela ukuba abo banemimoya bavale izikhewu, ngokufuthi ngeendlela zokuzigxeka.” Ngenxa yoko, umntu ogqwethekileyo usenokuziva engafunwa, edidekile, yaye ethandabuza ukuzixabisa kwakhe. 

Ukungabikho kokuvalwa kunye nokucaca malunga nokuba kutheni ubudlelwane buphelile kunokushiya umntu ezibuza ukuba yintoni ephosakeleyo, kwaye ukungaqondakali kungakhokelela ekubeni, 

• Ukuziva ungakhuselekanga
• Ukuzithandabuza
• Uxinzelelo ngokweemvakalelo
• Ukuxhalabisa
• Imiba yokuthemba

Oku kungaqiniseki okungapheliyo kwenza kube nzima ukuphilisa, njengoko beshiywe ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo sokuqhubeka okanye ukuqonda okwenzekayo.

Indlela isiporho esisichaphazela ngayo isiporho

Ngelixa ukuphefumla kunokubonakala ngathi yindlela elula yokuphuma kumntu oqhawula lonke unxibelelwano, kunokuchaphazela impilo yabo yengqondo neemvakalelo ngokunjalo. Ugqirha uSarah Stoltz uyacacisa, “Ngomoya, abantu bayayityeshela imbopheleleko yabo, kodwa le ndlela yokuziphatha idla ngokubethelela imikhwa yokuphepha nokungakhuli ngokweemvakalelo.” 

Isiqabu sokwexeshana sokuphepha incoko enzima sidla ngokukhokelela ekubeni uzive unetyala yaye uzisole ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ngaphandle koko, ukuphepha uxanduva kunokuthintela amandla e-ghost ukwenza unxibelelwano olunzulu, olunyanisekileyo kwixesha elizayo kuba bengafundanga ukujongana nayo. imingeni yobudlelwane kunye neencoko ezingathandekiyo ngendlela ephilileyo. 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Indlela yokwenza i-Guy izisole ngokukubamba-iindlela ezingama-21 ezingenangqondo

Ngaba Kuke Kulunge Ukuphefumla Umntu? 

Ngoku ekubeni siye safumanisa ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo ukuba ukuphefumla kungonakalisa kakhulu ngokwasemoyeni, kungekuphela nje kulowo ukhoyo kodwa nakulowo uyenzayo, umbuzo wokuba ngaba kulungile ukuphefumla umntu unokubonakala emothukile. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba bendikuxelele ukuba isiporho lukhetho olunengqiqo kwiimeko ezininzi zobudlelwane? Ewe, ufunda oko kulungile—maxa wambi, ulwalamano lunokuba yingozi kangangokuba ukuqhawula lonke unxibelelwano nokugcina ukuthula koonomathotholo kube kuphela kwendlela yokuzikhusela ekhoyo emntwini. Nazi ezinye zeemeko ezinjalo:  

• Ubuthi okanye ukuxhatshazwa: Ukuba ukwityhefu okanye ubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo apho iqabane lakho lihlala lizama ukukukhohlisa nokulawula, ukuqhawula unxibelelwano ngokupheleleyo kunokuba luhlobo oluyimfuneko lokuzikhusela.
• Ukungahloneli imida: Ukuba umntu akayihoyi imida yakho echazwe ngokucacileyo-efana nesidingo sendawo okanye ukungafuni ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane-umoya ongcolileyo unokuba yindlela yokubeka phambili iimfuno zakho.
• Uqhagamshelwano olufutshane kunye noluqhelekileyo: Xa uqhubela phambili ukusuka kwi-fling okanye uxhulumaniso oluselutsha kwaye lungaqhelekanga (ubunemihla enye okanye emibini okanye usekwinqanaba lokuthetha kwaye akukho kulindela omnye komnye), ukugqwesa isenokungabi lolona luvo lumbi kuba akukho kubandakanyeka okukhulu ngokweemvakalelo.
• Ubundlongondlongo okanye ubunini: Ukuphefumlela umntu othe gqolo ukutyhala kwaye ndlongondlongo, nokuba kukwenza izicwangciso, ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa, okanye ukucinezela kwiimeko ezikwenza ungonwabi kusemthethweni.

Xa isiporho akulunganga

Ndingathi kuyo yonke enye imeko, ngaphandle kwezi zikhankanywe ngasentla, ukuphefumla lukhetho olubi. Iba yingxaki ngakumbi kwezi meko zilandelayo: 

• Kubudlelwane obuzibophelele, bexesha elide: Ghosting iqabane kwi ubudlelwane obuzibolekileyo ayinambeko kwaye iyonakalisa. Ukunyamalala kwakho ngesiquphe kunokubashiya beziva bengaboni kwaye bebuhlungu kakhulu
• Emva kwemihla emininzi: Ukuba utyale ixesha elibalulekileyo nomntu kwaye unxibelelwano olunzulu sele luqalile ukubamba, ukuphuma ngequbuliso kunokuziva ngathi kukungcatshwa.
• Xa unesangqa sentlalo eqhelekileyo: Ukuba unabahlobo abahlukeneyo okanye isangqa esiqhelekileyo sentlalo, ukuphefumla kunokubangela iimeko ezingathandekiyo kwaye kukhokelela ekungaqondani okungachaphazeli nje umntu osisiporho kodwa nabanye ababandakanyekayo. 
• Bebenobubele kwaye benentlonipho: Ukuba umntu ukuphathe ngobubele nangentlonipho, kulungile ukuba ubuyisele ububele kwaye uthethe ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba awunamdla wokuqhubeka nobudlelwane.

Enye indawo kwisiporho

Ukuba awukho kubudlelwane obuyityhefu, obuxhaphazayo, okanye ukusebenzisana nomntu osoloko engayinanzi imida yakho okanye ekutyhalela ukuba wenze izinto ongakhululekanga kuzo, kufuneka ucinge ngenye indlela yokufumana isiporho. Ngamanye amazwi, thatha indlela evavanyiweyo yokuphelisa ubudlelwane/unxibelelwano lwezothando ngo:  

• Ukuba nencoko enyanisekileyo: Dlulisa iimvakalelo zakho emntwini. Yiba ngqale kwaye uqine kodwa ube nobubele. Bazise ukuba awunamdla wokuqhubeka nobudlelwane/uqhagamshelwano
• Thumela umyalezo ocacileyo kunye nentlonipho: Ukwahlula phezu kwesicatshulwa ayipholile kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo yeyona ndlela ingcono kuneghosting. Ukuba awukwazi ukuba nencoko ngokobuqu, thumela umyalezo omfutshane kodwa ocacileyo ochaza iinjongo zakho. Ngokomzekelo, “Ndilonwabele ixesha lethu sikunye, kodwa andiziva ndihambela phambili.”
• Misela imida: Wakuba uwudlulisile umnqweno wakho wokuphelisa izinto, beka imida ecacileyo endaweni yokuba uthi shwaka. Qina kodwa ube nembeko ekwenzeni oko 
• Thatha indawo: Ukuba akuqinisekanga ngeemvakalelo zakho okanye ubanjwe kwimeko ephinda-phinda-yokuphuma kwakhona, umgama othile ungakunceda. Thatha ixesha kunye nendawo yokucoca intloko yakho kwaye uqiniseke malunga nento oyifunayo. Ukuba uva unxibelelwano luphela, lugqithisele komnye umntu ngaphambi kokuba uqhubeke

Yintoni omawuyenze xa umntu ekubhuqa-iindlela ezisi-7 zokuhlangabezana nazo

Ngaphandle kokukhula kwemvumelwano kwimpembelelo yesiporho kubudlelwane, kwenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngamanye amaxesha, kwiimeko apho ungalindelanga. USammy, oneminyaka engama-25 ubudala ofunda i-Economics, uthi kum, “Bendithandana nalo mfana kangangeenyanga ezi-6. Ngenye ingokuhlwa, sabhalelana ngefowuni waza wathi, “Uziva njani ngokubhaka iikeyiki kule mpelaveki? Ndifuna senze into emnandi kunye. " Yavakala isondelelene kwaye yothando, bendingaphaya kwenyanga. 

Ngasekupheleni kwaloo ncoko, wandixelela ukuba kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezizayo zaziza kuxakeka ngokwenene kuye yaye uza kundibona ngoMgqibelo. Ngovuyo ndaphuma ngoLwesihlanu ndaza ndathenga zonke izithako zomhla wethu wokubhaka kunye kodwa andizange ndiphinde ndive nto ithethwa nguye. 

Okwenzeka kuSammy—okanye kuSheila—asiyonto ingaqhelekanga okanye engaqhelekanga. Uninzi lwethu lukhona, kwaye kwabaninzi, esi sibetho sikhohlakeleyo sinokuba sembonweni. Xa ibetha, kunokuba nzima ukufumanisa ukuba wenze ntoni xa umntu ekubhuqa. Ungakhathazeki, ndilapha ukunceda ngezi ngcebiso zi-7 zixhaswa yingcali malunga nendlela yokujongana nesiporho:

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Iindlela ezi-8 ezinengqondo zokujongana nokulahlwa eluthandweni

1. Yiqonde indlela ovakalelwa ngayo

Ukujongana nesiporho, nokuba uthandana okanye uthandana, kufuneka ubambe iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uzivumele uzive ubungakanani obupheleleyo bosizi, umsindo, ubuhlungu, ukungcatshwa, okanye ukudideka okufumanayo. Ukuzibhokoxa iimvakalelo zakho okanye ukuzenza zingasebenzi kunokwandisa inkqubo yokuphilisa kwaye kukhokelela kwiindlela zokuhlangabezana nezempilo. 

Nokuba unxibelelwano belulufutshane kangakanani na, naziphi na iimvakalelo ozifumanayo xa unesiporho ziyasebenza. Musa ukuzixelela ngenye indlela. UGqr. Lisa Firestone uthi: “Ukungafunwa luthando kunokuxhokonxa ezona mvakalelo zisesichengeni,” utsho njalo ugqirha uGqr. 

2. Musa ukuleqa ukuvala

Ukuqhubela phambili ngaphandle kokuvalwa yenye yezona zinto zinzima ukwenza. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu ukhethe ukukufeketha, unokuqiniseka ukuba awuzukuzifumana iimpendulo ozifunayo malunga nokuba yintoni kwaye kutheni yonke le nto. Ukuba umntu wayenayo kuye ukuba abe neencoko ezingathandekiyo, ngebengazange bakuphembelele ukuba uqale. Gwema ukuzama ukunxibelelana nesiporho ngethemba lokufumana ingcaciso ngokuziphatha kwabo. Ukuba sele uthumele umyalezo okanye emibini, zinike imvume yokuma kwaye uqhubele phambili, uthemba ukuba ukuthula kwabo kuthetha.

3. Kuphephe ukuzigxeka

Ngaba kukho into engalunganga endiyenzileyo? Ngaba ndandityhala kakhulu okanye ndibambelele? Ngaba bendingalungelanga ngokwaneleyo? Ezi ngcinga zinyanzelekile ukuba zivele njengoko ubambene nombuzo, kutheni umntu angakubhuqa ngaphandle kwesizathu? Musa ukucinga ngazo. I-Ghosting ithetha ngakumbi malunga lamntu wakubhuqayo kunokuba isenza ngawe. Ngokufuthi, izizathu azinanto yakwenza nawe. Kuphephe ukucinga ukuba yinto oyenzileyo engalunganga.

4. Ziqhelise ukuzikhathalela kwaye ube nobubele kuwe 

Xa ukonga intliziyo ebuhlungu kwaye ujongana neemvakalelo ezothusayo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela ukomeleza umoya wakho nokomeleza ukuzixabisa kwakho. “Xa uqhelisela ukuzinyamekela, uzikhumbuza ukuba uxabisekile, yaye akukho mntu unokukuguqula oko,” itsho njalo ingcali ngempilontle uJayne Hardy. Ke, thatha ixesha lokuzintywilisela kwizinto ezizisela uvuyo noxolo, nokuba 

• Ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo
• Ukuthatha into yokuzonwabisa
• Ukugxininisa kwiinjongo zakho
• Ukuziphathela into entle

UkuFunda okuFanayo: "I-Ex yam yaqhubela phambili ngathi ndingeyonto": Iingcebiso zokuhlangabezana nazo

5. Funda kula mava

Ukuba nesiporho ngokungathandabuzekiyo ngamava abuhlungu kodwa kunokuzisa izifundo ezininzi ezibalulekileyo. Mhlawumbi, uphose kwangethuba ubudlelwane iiflegi ebomvu ngenxa yokuba ubuthatyathwe kakhulu nalo mntu, kodwa ngoku, ngokujonga ngasemva, uyabona ukuba iimpawu ezilumkisayo zeentswelo ezingalungelelanisiweyo, iinjongo, nolindelo bezikho ngalo lonke elo xesha. Sebenzisa la mava ukuze uqiniseke ukuba awuyivumeli loo nto kwakhona. Umzekelo, ukuba umntu ebengahambelani nonxibelelwano kwangethuba, isenokuba luphawu lokungafuni ukuzibophelela, onokuthi ujonge ukuqhubela phambili.

6. Yayama kwinkqubo yakho yenkxaso

Ukuba uziva uwedwa okanye ulahlekile okanye ungafaneleki emva kokuba udinwe liqabane/umdla othandana naye, musa ukuba wedwa. Kunoko, nceda uncede abantu obathandayo—abahlobo nentsapho—ufumane inkxaso. Abantu abasondeleyo kuwe banokukukhumbuza ngexabiso lakho kwaye bakuncede uhlengahlengise imeko. Ngaphandle koko, lonke uthando kunye nenkxaso abanokukunika yona inokukunceda ukuba uthabathe iziqwenga kwaye uye phambili. 

7. Cinga ngokufuna uncedo lwengcali

Ukuba uzame yonke into esemandleni akho kodwa unxunguphalo lweemvakalelo zokushiywa ngumntu omthembileyo kwaye utyale imali kwi-looms enkulu, kunokuba kufanelekile ukuba ucinge ngokufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha. Umgqirha unokubonelela ngeembono ezixabisekileyo kunye nenkxaso, ekukhokele kwiimvakalelo zokulahlwa kunye nokunceda ukwakha ukomelela. Ukuba ucinga ngokufuna uncedo kodwa awazi ukuba ungaqala ngaphi, iingcali zempilo yengqondo ezinezakhono kunye nabanamava Iphaneli yeBonobology zilapha ngenxa yakho. 

Iingcinga Final 

Ngelixa i-ghosting yamkelwe njengesicwangciso esifanelekileyo sokuphuma, iza ngexabiso elikhulu leemvakalelo. Ishiya umkhondo wemibuzo engaphendulekiyo kunye neemvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga, ezinokuthi zenze kube nzima kumntu ophethwe ngumoya ukuba afumane ukuvala kwaye aqhubele phambili. Kwelinye icala, iziporho zinokuzifumana zibambene kwiipatheni zokuphepha ezithintela unxibelelwano olusempilweni. Unxibelelwano olunyanisekileyo, nokuba lubonakala lunzima kangakanani na ngalo mzuzu, luhlala luyeyona ndlela ingcono xa kufikwa ekupheliseni unxibelelwano lothando. 

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Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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