Ngaba Awunakuyeka Ukucinga Ngomntu? Ithetha ukuthini kunye nendlela yokuyeka

“Andikwazi ukuyeka ukucinga ngawe” yindlela eqhelekileyo yokwala xa usaqala ukuthandana, xa uphenjelelwa ziimvakalelo ezibuhlungu. Njengoko izinto ziqhubela phambili, ukungxama kokuthabatheka kuye kuncipha kwaye kuguqukele ekubeni yimvakalelo yothando ezinzile, kwaye awusoloko utyiwa ziingcinga zaloo mntu ubethwa naye. 

Le yikhondo lendalo leemvakalelo zothando esizifumana sonke ngaxa lithile. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba olu gqatso alupheli yaye akubonakali ngathi uyamkhupha engqondweni loo mntu? Kuthetha ukuthini xa ungayeki ukucinga ngomntu? Ewe, ngokucacileyo luphawu lokuba kukho into engahambi kakuhle, ngakumbi ukuba ezi ngcinga ziye zixakeke kwaye zitya yonke into kangangokuba ziqale ukuchaphazela umgangatho wobomi bakho okanye impilo yakho yeemvakalelo. 

Ukuba kulapho uzifumana khona-ucinga ngokugqithisileyo malunga nokutyumza okutsha, i-ex, lowo ubalekileyo, okanye iqabane lothando obuhlala nalo ixeshana-kubalulekile ukuba unqumame kwaye ucingisise malunga nokuba yintoni ebangela le ngqungquthela kwaye uthathe isitokhwe sendlela ebuchaphazela ngayo ubomi bakho kunye nempilo yengqondo. Silapha ukukunceda kolu hambo lokuphonononga kunye nokuhlola, oluxhaswa yimibono evela kwiingcali ezaziwayo zempilo yengqondo kunye neengcali zobudlelwane. 

Ithetha ukuthini Xa Ungayeki Ukucinga Ngomntu

Umhlobo wam, uSam, wazifaka kubugxwayiba obunzima xa yena wadibana kwakhona ne ex yakhe etshatileyo kwaye lwavuselela uthando. Yayichwayitisa, inesiyezi, ibuguqula ubomi. Waziva ebonwa, eqinisekisiwe, enqwenelwa, yaye ethandwa—izinto awayengaziva emtshatweni wakhe ixesha elide. Bendimbona etshayiwe egigitheka okomntu osemtsha ngesaquphe kodwa akatsho ukuba kutheni. 

Emva koko, yonke loo nto yenyuka ngumsi ngequbuliso njengoko ibiqalile. Malunga neenyanga ezintandathu ebudlelwaneni, owayesakuba ngumyeni wakhe wagqiba kwelokuba aphelise kwaye wambhuqa ngaphandle kwengcaciso. USam wayekhathazekile, ebuhlungu, kwaye wayebonakala exakekile kwaye ekude. Olu tshintsho lwequbuliso nolukhulu kwisimo sakhe lwaluphathelele, ukutsho, kwaye ke ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba kufuneka ndifikelele emazantsi ayo nantoni na ebimtya. 

Esakucenga, uSam waqhawuka, wabalisa lonke eli bali, emva koko, ephololoza, wabuza, “Kutheni ndingenakuyeka ukucinga ngaye?” Eyona nto yayindikhathaza kakhulu yayingekokungathembeki kwakhe okanye intliziyo yakhe ebuhlungu kodwa indlela eyayimchaphazele kakubi ngayo yonke le nto. 

Ndaziva ndigodola xa eqhubeka esithi, "Ndihlala ndijonga ifowuni yam rhoqo kwimizuzwana embalwa imini yonke, ndilinde umyalezo ovela kuye. Ndijonge lo mntu unxibelelana naye efowunini yam kwaye ndibone ukuba undivimbile, ndaye ndakhala. Ndicinga ngamaxesha esiwachithe sikunye lonke ixesha, ngelixa ndihambahamba ubomi bam bokwenyani. Nokuba ndisemsebenzini, ndipheka abantwana okanye ndihleli nawe emsebenzini, ndihleli nawe emsebenzini, ndihleli nawe emsebenzini, ndiqhuba umboniso . apha, ngengqondo, ndihleli naye, Ndicinga ngaye.

Iingcinga zakhe malunga ne-ex yakhe, kabini ngaphezulu, yayingaphaya kokukhumbula nje umntu okanye ukonga intliziyo eyaphukileyo. Ziya kuba ziincwadi eziphazamisayo kwaye ziphazamise. Kutheni le nto isenzeka kuye, ndazibuza. Kuthetha ukuthini xa ungayeki ukucinga ngomntu?

Njengoko ndandingena nzulu kulo mbandela, ndafumanisa ukuba ukungayeki ukucinga ngomntu kudla ngokubonakalisa ukusondelana ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukuzixakekisa. Oku kunokubangelwa ziimvakalelo zothando, iimvakalelo ezingaconjululwanga, okanye ukunconywa. Xa sitsalelekile emntwini, ingqondo yethu ikhupha imichiza efana ne-dopamine, eyomeleza iimvakalelo ezonwabileyo, yenze iingcinga ngalo mntu ziphantse ukuba likhoboka. 

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Ezi ngcinga zinokuba namandla kwaye kube nzima ukuzikhupha kwimeko engasonjululwanga ebangela unxunguphalo. Ingqondo ibambelele kwishishini elingagqitywanga onalo nomntu, ekuzameni ukufumanisa ukuba kutheni kwaye yenza njani i-loop yeengcamango eziphindaphindiweyo. Isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Guy Winder uyacacisa, “Uthando olungafunekiyo kusenokubangela unxunguphalo ngokweemvakalelo, nto leyo ebangela imikhwa engafanelekanga yokucinga osenokubonakala ungenako ukwahlukana nayo.” Oku kunokuchaphazela impilo yakho yeemvakalelo kunye nengqondo, ekhokelela ekubeni 

• Ukuxhalabisa
• Ukucinga ngaphaya
• istres
• Ukulala
• Ukuhamba kweemvakalelo 
• Uxinzelelo olubi 

UkuFunda okuFanayo: Kutheni Ndisamkhathalele Umntu Ondikhathazayo?

Izizathu ezisi-7 zokuba ungayeki ukucinga ngomntu

Ukucinga ngomntu ngalo lonke ixesha ngokucacileyo akukho mpilweni kwaye kunokukuchaphazela kumanqanaba amaninzi. Ukuba uzifumanisa ukwimeko apho ungenakuyinqanda ingqondo yakho ekubhaduleni kwicala lomntu othile, usenokuba uye wazifumana uzibuza, “Kutheni ndingenakuyeka ukucinga ngomntu othile?” Ngenxa yokuba ukufumanisa esona sizathu sisemva kwezi patheni zokucinga zibanzi ezidlala kwiluphu sisitshixo ekufumaneni. indlela yokungacingi ngomntu, makhe sijonge ezi-7 ezinokuba ngunobangela wolu tyekelo:  

1. Umtsalane wothando

Ewe, duhhhh! Ukuba akukwazi ukuyeka ukucinga ngomntu, kungenxa yokuba utsaleleka kuye. Umtsalane wothando ibangela ukukhutshwa kweekhemikhali eziziva kamnandi njenge-dopamine emzimbeni, kwaye ufuna ukuphinda uhlaziye loo mvakalelo ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Yiyo loo nto ufuna ukuba kufutshane nomntu onomdla kuye ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye xa ungenako ukuchitha ixesha lakho ucinga ngaye. 

Kutheni ndingakwazi ukumsusa engqondweni yam? Kutheni ndingayeki ukucinga ngaye? Kaloku, ngenxa yokuba unochuku, uyabethwa, ubambe iimvakalelo. Oku kukungxamiseka kweemvakalelo endithethe ngako kanye ekuqaleni kweli nqaku. Ukuba yiyo loo nto uzifumanisa ucinga ngomntu ngalo lonke ixesha, phumla. Kuya kudlula ngokuhamba kwexesha.   

2. Intabatheko 

Oku kuyafana nokucinga ngomntu ngalo lonke ixesha kuba utsalelekile kuye. Umtsalane udla ngokuthatha indawo kwizinto ezinzima kodwa ezidlulayo imvakalelo yokuthabatheka apho ubona umntu othandana naye kwaye awukwazi ukuzibamba ukucinga ngaye ngokugqithiseleyo. 

Isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Frank Tallis sichaza intabatheko “njengemeko apho ingqondo yakho icinga ukuba umntu ufezekile, nto leyo enokukhokelela ekubeni ucinge ngokugqithiseleyo.” Ngokwendalo, xa yonke into ibonakala ilungile kwaye ilungile, awufuni kubaleka elo hlabathi lincinci lephupha uzakhele lona. Yiyo loo nto kangangeentsuku okanye iiveki, usenokuzibona sele uphupha ngalomntu nangekamva lenu kunye. 

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3. Iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga

Ngoku kulapho izinto ziba nzima khona. Usenokuba ucinga ngomntu kakhulu kuba kukho iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga ezidlalwayo. Mhlawumbi izinto zaphela ngesiquphe okanye xa ubungazilindelanga, mhlawumbi bakubhuqa (njengoko kwenzekileyo kumhlobo wam, uSam), okanye mhlawumbi bakwenza umkhenkce emva komlo omkhulu kunye nokungaqiniseki malunga nokuba zimi phi na kukutyayo. Iimeko apho kukho ishishini elingagqitywanga okanye a ukungabikho kokuvalwa kunokukwenza uhlale ucinga ngaloo mntu, ngelinge lokuqonda oko kwenzekileyo okanye ngendlela izinto ebezinokwahluka ngayo.

4. Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo

UKate, osandul’ ukuqalisa ukufunda kwinkampani yezentengiso emva kokugqiba ekholejini, uzifumana engakwazi ukugxila kuyo nantoni na kuba akabonakali ngathi uyalisusa isoka lakhe engqondweni yakhe. “Ebudeni bexesha lethu sisekholejini, ndandoyama ngaye ngayo yonke into, nokuba kukulwa nomama, iingxaki neentombi zam, izinto zemihla ngemihla. 

“Ngoku njengoko sikwi- ubudlelwane bomgama omde, ndiyamkhumbula kakhulu. Into endiyenzayo kukucinga malunga nokuba uphezu kwantoni, uzakufowuna nini, okanye kutheni engakhange aphendule. Ekubeni naye ezama ukuzinza kumsebenzi kunye nendawo entsha, uxakekile. Kwaye indenza ndizive ngathi akasandidingi okanye akasandikhathaleli. Oku kubangela iingxaki ezininzi phakathi kwethu. Kutheni ndingayeki ukucinga ngaye?”

Lo ngumzekelo oqhelekileyo wokuxhomekeka ngokugqithisileyo ngokweemvakalelo emntwini, nto leyo enokubangela iingcinga eziphazamisayo. Xa uqala ukujonga umntu njengeankile ebomini bakho, kunokuba nzima ukugcina ubuntu bakho kunye nokuzimela. Oku kunokukushiya ucinga ngabo ngokugqithisileyo.  

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5. Ukungakhuseleki

Kutheni ndingayeki ukucinga ngomntu, uyazibuza? Ukungakhuseleki kwakho kunokuba yinto yokudlala. Xa uxhalabile malunga nobudlelwane bakho nomntu ngenxa yokuba ungakhuselekanga okanye ungaqinisekanga malunga nokuba umi phi kunye nabo okanye bakubona njani, unokuphela ngokudlala iimeko ezicingelwayo engqondweni yakho malunga nemiba eyahlukeneyo yobudlelwane. 

Okubi nangakumbi kukuba, ezi ndlela zokucinga zidla ngokubi. Uhlala usenza intlekele okanye ucinga ngezona meko zimbi kakhulu kuba awuqinisekanga ukuba loo mntu ucinga ntoni okanye uziva njani ngawe. Kwaye ukungaqiniseki kwakho kudla ngokukwenza ukuba ucinge okona kubi. UGqr Winch uthi, "Ukungazithembi malunga nobudlelwane inokuziphakamisa iingcamango zakho, zizenze zibonakale zibaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba zinjalo.”

6. 'Inokuba yintoni' iimeko

Ukuba umntu awukwazi ukuphuma engqondweni yakho "ngulo ubalekileyo" okanye ujongene naye uthando olucalanye, unokuzibhaqa sele ucinga ngemeko “ekunokuba yiyo”, ucinga ngento eyayinokubakho okanye ngendlela izinto ezazinokuguquka ngayo. 

Ngamaxesha amaninzi, ezi zehlo zokuzenzisa ziyinguqulelo elindelekileyo yekamva eliqikelelwayo, kwaye zinika ukusinda okumnandi kubunyani oburhabaxa obunokuthi le mibono ingaze yenzeke. Yiyo loo nto kunokuba lula ukuzilungisa kwezi ngcinga, uzenze zidle kwaye zibe nkulu kunobomi. 

7. Impembelelo yeemvakalelo

Ukuba kukho umntu oye wanempembelelo enkulu kuwe ngokweemvakalelo-nokuba ilungile okanye imbi-unokuba nzima ukuyisusa engqondweni yakho. Ngokomzekelo, intloko ka-Andrea ukuthandana nomhlobo wakhula iimvakalelo zokuphela xa wakhulelwa waza wabheyile. Wathi nje esazisa ezi ndaba, waqhawula umnxeba ngesizathu esithile waza akazange aphinde amtsalele umnxeba kwakhona. 

Wagqiba ekubeni akuphelise ukukhulelwa kwaye kwafuneka atyhubele yonke loo ngxaki eyedwa. Sele kudlule iminyaka eli-11 ukususela ngoko, yaye akakakwazi ukuyeka ukucinga ngesizathu sokuba ambhubhise ngale ndlela enze ngayo. “Sasingabahlobo kangangeminyaka ngaphambi koko…Asikuko nokuba ndandifuna nantoni na kuye ngaphandle kokuba abe kunye nam xa ndandikhupha isisu… Wayeza kwenza njani? Kwakutheni ukuze enze njalo? Laliyintoni ityala lam?” Iingcinga zihlala ziguquguquka, nangona esazi naye nabani na ukuba akukho nto. 

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Iimpawu Ukucinga Ngomntu Uba Yingxaki

Njengoko benditshilo, ukuba nomntu engqondweni yakho kakhulu akusoloko kubonisa ingxaki. Akuyomfuneko ukuba ulahlekelwe bubuthongo phezu, "Kutheni ndicinga ngomntu kakhulu?", Ukuba oko kwenzeka ekuqaleni ukuthandana okanye ngenxa yokuba uye waphuhliswa ukutyumza. Zonke ezi ntelekelelo zinokukuzalisa ngochulumanco, ithemba, inkuthazo, kunye noluvo lwenjongo njengoko ucinga ngokwakha ubudlelwane okanye ukwenza nzulu unxibelelwano. Njengoko ixesha lihamba, ziya kuba njalo ezi ngcinga zichitha yonke into. 

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uye waba ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo nge-ex, i unrequited uthando, iqabane lakho, okanye iingcinga malunga nokutyumza yakho / ithemba zothando ziye zidla kakhulu ukuba ukuphazamisa ukukwazi kwakho ukuhamba ubomi, lixesha lokuba uthathe inyathelo. Ubahlula njani aba babini? Nika ingqalelo kule miqondiso ilandelayo ebonisa ukuba ukucinga ngomntu kuba yingxaki:   

• Awunakugxila kubomi bakho bokwenyani: Ukuba iingcinga zakho malunga nomntu zihlala zihlala njalo kwaye zidla kangangokuba awukwazi ukugxila emsebenzini, kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla, okanye uxanduva lwakho, yiflegi ebomvu.
• Uphelelwa bubuthongo: Ukulala emva kwexesha, ukuphosa nokujika, okanye ukuvuka kunye nabo engqondweni yakho? Ezi zonke ziimpawu zokuba ukuzixakekisa kwakho ngomntu kuphazamisa impilo-ntle yakho
• Uhlalutya yonke intsebenziswano: Ukuba uchitha iiyure udlala iincoko okanye ucazulula onke amagama abo, iipatheni zakho zokucinga zisemdeni. ukuphelelwa ngamandla
• Uziva unexhala okanye uxinzelelo xa bengaphenduli ngokukhawuleza: Ukuba ukunqongophala okanye ukulibaziseka kunxibelelwano ukusuka ekupheleni kwabo kukwenza ube nexhala, unokuba uvumele lo mntu ukuba alawule kakhulu ingqondo kunye neemvakalelo zakho.
• Uyayeka ukubandakanyeka kwizinto ozithandayo: Ukuba wenze ukuqinisekiswa kwalo mntu kunye nobukho bakhe kuphela komthombo wolonwabo ebomini bakho kwaye uyeka kwizinto ozonwabisa ngazo, uchitha ixesha nabahlobo kunye nabantu obathandayo, kwaye uqala ukuzahlula, ngokucacileyo unengxaki ekufuneka ijongiwe ngokukhawuleza.
• Uhlala ujonga ifowuni yakho: Ukulinda ngokugqithisileyo iitekisi okanye izaziso zemithombo yeendaba zentlalo, ukujonga ifowuni yakho rhoqo kwimizuzwana embalwa, ukuva igagasi lokuphoxeka lihlambe phezu kwakho xa ifowuni yakho ikhala kodwa isaziso sivela komnye umntu zonke zizibonakaliso zokungabi nampilo.
• Umoya wakho uxhomekeke kubo: Ukuba izenzo zabo ziyalela indlela oziva ngayo yonke imihla, luphawu lokuba ubanike amandla amaninzi kunye nolawulo phezu kwakho. Oku kunokuba yingozi kuzinzo lwakho lweemvakalelo
• Ulahlekelwa ngumkhondo wexesha: Uzibekela amangomso izinto kangangeeyure, uphupha emini ngazo. Kungathi, yonke indawo yakho yengqondo ihlalwe ngulo mntu mnye 
• Uyakutyeshela ukuzikhathalela. Ukutsiba ukutya, ukuzilolonga, okanye izinto oqhele ukuzenza ngenxa yokuba uphazamiseke kakhulu xa ucinga ngazo? Ewe, unengxaki
• Uziva udiniwe ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuba iingcinga ngalo mntu zikushiya uzive udiniwe okanye uxinezelekile, luphawu ukuba ukuzixakekisa kwakho ngaye akunampilo.

Indlela Yokuyeka Ukucinga Ngomntu Ngokugqithisileyo  

Ukuba uye waqaphela ukuba ukuhlala uzixakekise ngomntu othile kukuchaphazela kakubi, lixesha lokuba ulungise lo mba. Inyaniso yeyokuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba ingakanani indawo yengqondo oyinika lo mntu, zingaphi na iimeko ozidlalayo engqondweni yakho, okanye indlela onqwenela ngayo ukuba izinto ziya kudlala kanye ngendlela ofuna zibe ngayo, zonke ezi ngcinga ziphazamisayo ezenziwayo ziyayichaphazela impilo yakho yengqondo, impilo-ntle yeemvakalelo, kunye nomgangatho wobomi. 

Lixesha lokuba uthi, “Que sera sera,” mhlobo wam, kwaye ubuyisele umva kwiingcamango zakho nobomi bakho. Ewe, ndiyazi ukuba kulula ukuthetha kunokukwenza—ukubakho. Ke, ukunceda, ndikuzisela ezi ngcebiso zi-7 zixhaswa yingcaphephe indlela yokuyeka ukucinga ngomntu ngokugqithiseleyo: 

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1. Yiqonde indlela ovakalelwa ngayo

Xa uzibuza, "Kutheni ndicinga ngomntu kakhulu?", kusenokwenzeka ukuba ezinye iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ezingathandekiyo ziya kuvela. Sukuzityhala ezi kude okanye uzifake ebhotileni. Kulungile ukuziva unamathele komnye umntu, ubhideke malunga nokuguquka okungalindelekanga kweziganeko kubudlelwane, okanye uzive ubuhlungu ngenxa yezenzo zomntu-okanye ukungabikho kwazo. Kufuneka uvume ezi mvakalelo zingathandekiyo ukuqala inkqubo yokuphilisa. UGqr Winch uthi, "Iimvakalelo ezingalungiswanga ziya kuqhubeka zivela de ujongane nazo ngqo." Ngoko, zivumele uzive ngaphandle kokuvumela iimvakalelo zakho zikulawule. Yiyeke ibebuhlungu ide ingabibuhlungu. 

2. Zibekele imida

Ukumisela imida yeemvakalelo akubalulekanga nje kuphela ekwenzeni ubudlelwane obunempilo nabanye kodwa nakuwe. Ukuseta umda wokwaphula i-loop yokucinga ngokugqithisileyo kwaye kukugcina uzinze ngokwenyani kunokuvakala ngathi, "andizukuzivumela ukuba ndigqitywe ziingcinga zakhe." 

Kwixesha elizayo xa uzifumana ujikeleza kwingcinga engapheliyo, sebenzisa esi sivakalisi ukuze ukhululeke. Oku kunokuthatha ukuziqhelanisa kodwa ekugqibeleni, uya kuba nakho ukuthobela lo mda uzibeka nawe. Ekuqaleni, kunokuba luncedo ukuzinika ixesha elimiselweyo lokucinga ngalo mntu-imizuzu eyi-10 rhoqo kwiiyure ezimbini, ngokomzekelo-kwaye udlulele kwenye into. Kancinci, nciphisa eli xesha de ube ukwazi ukutyhala ezi ngcinga ngokuthanda kwakho.  

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3. Beka phambili ukuzinyamekela

Xa iingcinga ngomnye umntu zilawula ingqondo yakho, impilo-ntle yakho inokubuyela ngasemva. Umva uyinyaniso ngokufanayo. Ingcali ngobudlelwane uEsther Perel ucebisa ngelithi, “Ukuzibuyisela kwakhona liyeza lokuzibaxa izinto. Ke, buyisela ugxininiso kuwe. Buyela kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, zilolonge ingqondo, landela izinto ozonwabisa ngazo, kwaye uchithe ixesha nabantu obathandayo. Ukuzikhathalela ngundoqo ekubuyiseleni ulawulo. 

4. Zikhwebule ekulandeleni imidiya yoluntu

Masijongane nayo—kwimidiya yoluntu lubaso kumlilo weengcinga ezingaphaya kwamandla. UGqr. Andrea Bonior ulumkisa ngelithi: “Ukuhlala ubukele ijelo lonxibelelwano lomnye umntu kwandisa iimvakalelo zakhe,” ulumkisa ngelitshoyo uGqr. Andrea Bonior, isazi ngengqondo. Okukhona ujonga iinkangeleko zabo, kokukhona kuya kuba nzima ukuba ungacingi ngabo okanye uxakeke malunga nendlela ababonakala besonwabela ngayo ubomi babo ngelixa ulapha pinning kubo. Ikhefu elicocekileyo kubukho babo be-intanethi linokuba luncedo kakhulu ekwaphuleni umjikelo weengcinga obonakala ubanjiwe. Kusenokuba nzima ekuqaleni kodwa umgama uyakunceda ekuhambeni kwexesha.

5. Thetha ngayo

Ngamaxesha amaninzi iingcinga kunye neengcinga ezithile zibonakala zisongamela ezingqondweni zethu kodwa xa sizivakalisa, zibonakala kulula kakhulu ukujongana nazo. Ukuba ubunengxaki nombuzo othi, "Ndiyeka njani ukucinga ngomntu?", Ukuthetha nomhlobo othembekileyo okanye umntu othembekileyo unokutshintsha umdlalo. 

Ukukhupha umoya kunokukhulula ubunzima beemvakalelo zeengcinga zakho. Ukuva imbono yomnye umntu nako kunokukunceda ubone imeko ngokucacileyo. Ungaphinda ucinge ngokufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha kunye nokuthetha nomnyangi malunga nokwaphula lo mjikelo weengcinga. Ingcali yempilo yengqondo eqeqeshiweyo inokukunceda ukuba uchonge eyona nto ibangela ezi patheni zokucinga kwaye usebenze ngayo. Ukuba ucinga ngokufuna uncedo, iingcali zempilo yengqondo ezinezakhono kunye nabanamava Iphaneli yeBonobology zilapha ngenxa yakho.

6. Zixakekise ngemisebenzi emitsha

Ukuphazamiseka sisixhobo esinamandla. Ukuzigcina uxakekile ngemisebenzi emitsha kunokunciphisa ixesha olichitha usithi phithi. Oku kunokuquka ukufunda ubuchule obutsha, ukwenza umsebenzi wokuzonwabisa, okanye ukunxulumana nabantu abakukhuthazayo. Ukuhlala uxakekile kunokuyisusa ngokuthe ngcembe ingqalelo yakho emntwini. 

Ngoku, xa ucinga ngomsebenzi oza kugcwalisa ixesha lakho kunye nendawo yengqondo ngayo, kufuneka ukhethe into engahambelani nangayiphi na indlela nomntu obucinga ngaye. Ukuba ubuhamba nabo ngebhayisekile rhoqo ngeCawe kusasa okanye ubhaka kunye, ukubuyela kuloo misebenzi kuya kukukhumbuza ngakumbi ngabo. 

7. Yeka ukuzicingela

Xa ucinga ngokugqithiseleyo ngomntu, kulula ukumbeka kwi-pedestal. Kwiliso lengqondo yakho, lo mntu ugqibelele. Kulungele wena. Kanye into oyifunayo. Nguye kuphela onokukwenza ukuba uphile ubomi bakho ngokupheleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, le nguqulo yabo yinto ingqondo yakho eye yadibana ngayo ngesizathu esithile. 

Khumbula ukuba akukho mntu ufezekileyo. Ukuze ukwazi ukuyeka ukucinga ngomntu, kufuneka umbone ukuba ungubani, iziphene kunye nazo zonke. Isazi ngengqondo uGqr. Lisa Firestone uthi, “Ukukhetha umntu omthandayo kwenza uhlobo olungekho ngqiqweni ngaye engqondweni yakho. Ukophula olu guqulelo lufanelekileyo kubo, yenza uluhlu lwezinto malunga nazo ezingagqibelelanga, okanye uzikhumbuze ngawo nawaphi na amaxesha ebengemahle kangako. Oku kuya kunceda ukulungelelanisa imbono yakho kwaye kukhulule ukubamba kwabo kwiingcamango zakho.

Iingcinga Final 

Xa ingqondo yakho ihlala ixakene nomntu, iingcinga eziphazamisayo, ezithatha zonke izinto zinokuchaphazela umgangatho wobomi bakho kunye nempilo yakho yengqondo. Wakuba uzibonile iimpawu ezilumkisayo, kuyafuneka ukuba ufike koyena nobangela uze usebenzele ukwahlukana nalo mkhwa. Isenokubonakala ingenakwenzeka xa ukungqingqwa kwezi ngcinga kodwa ngokuthatha amanyathelo okuqonda, unokuphinda ukwazi ukulawula ingqondo yakho.  

Indlela Yokuphulukana Neemvakalelo Ngomntu Omthandayo kwaye Uyeke

Ukwenza uxolo kunye nexesha lakho elidlulileyo-Iingcebiso ezilumkileyo ezili-13

Umnikelo wakho awuquki isisa umnikelo. Iya kuvumela i-Bonobology ukuba iqhubeke nokukuzisela ulwazi olutsha nolwangoku kwiphulo lethu lokunceda nabani na osehlabathini ukuba afunde ukwenza nantoni na.

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