“Umuntu angaba semshadweni ojabulisayo, futhi abe nobuhlobo ngaphandle kwawo,” kusho uRishi egcizelela. Wayevakashile, futhi njengoba sasidla ukudla okulula futhi sixoxa endlini yami yokuphumula, wangitshela izindaba zomshado ezivulekile zokuqala engake ngazizwa ekuphileni kwami.
“Kodwa umshado akufanele yini ube ngcwele?” Ngambuka ngisakhuluma.
“Yebo kunjalo, nokho, incazelo yami ‘ngengcwele’ iwukuthi lapho othile osebudlelwaneni engafihli noma yiliphi iqiniso ngobuhlobo bakhe obungaphandle komshado kumngane wakhe womshado.
"Okuchaza…"
U-Rishi wanginqamula. “Uyabona mina noSeema (umkakhe) besazi ukuthi sizoqhubeka nokuphumela obala ngisho sesishadile, saxoxa ngakho asibi nankinga,” usho kanje. Wama kancane ngenkathi ngigaya lolu lwazi, wayesengeza, “Singumbhangqwana ojabulayo.
Ukujula Kwezindaba Zomshado Ezivulekile
Okuqukethwe
Ukukhula kuhambisana nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukahlukene. Ngibe nesabelo sami kubo; nokho, ngangingakaze ngikhulume nanoma ubani mayelana ne-polyamory ngaphambi kokuba uRishi futhi ngikhulume ngakho ngalolo suku.
Kancane kancane, u-Rishi waqala ukwabelana ngezindaba zokuphila kwakhe kanye nolwazi lwakhe. Ngangiwazi lo mbhangqwana ojabulayo iminyaka ecishe ibe mihlanu, kodwa wayeqala ngqa ukukhuluma ngalesi sici sokuphila kwawo.
"Mina no-Seema sikhuluma iqiniso ngobudlelwano bethu. Ngicabanga ukuthi yilokho okubaluleke kakhulu. Isibonelo, ubebonana nozakwabo oshadile emsebenzini kusukela ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule. Bobabili baye eMauritius eholidini elifushane muva nje. Wangazisa ngaphambi kokuthi enze uhlelo futhi waphumela obala ngalo. Kungaleyo ndlela okusisebenzela ngayo futhi kwenza umshado wethu ovulekile ube nempilo," esho.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izingxoxo Nomuntu Othanda I-Polyamorist
Okuhlangenwe nakho komshado ovulekile okungajwayelekile
"Ubudlelwano obunjalo abukwenzi ungakhululeki futhi ube nesikhwele? Ngisho ukuthi, nobabili nishadile..."
URishi wangenelela. “Angikhululekile futhi nginomona? Cha, abanawo. Ngibajwayele, futhi empeleni, naye unjalo. Ngike ngathandana nozakwethu abangafuni ngempela ukuba nobudlelwano besikhathi eside . Intombi yami yamanje iyintombazane enhle uSeema ayazi kahle, futhi ilungile ngobudlelwano bami njengoba nami ngilungile ngobudlelwano bayo. Sabelana ngazo zonke izindaba zethu zobudlelwano obuvulekile. Ngiyitshela konke ngokuhlangana kwami futhi naye wabelana ngeyakhe.”
Ngangingaziqondi Izindaba Zomshado Ezivulekile
Isoka, futhi elikahle futhi elingashadile lapho ngiqala ukuhlangana noRishi futhi kamuva kamuva nentombi yakhe ngaleso sikhathi, u-Seema, ngehluleka ukuqonda ukuthi kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi umbhangqwana ube obala kangaka mayelana nokuthandana kwawo ngaphandle komshado - futhi uqhubeke nokuhlala ushadile. Yangimangaza indlela laba bobabili ababenakekela ngayo ingane yabo okuwukuphela kwayo, baphuma bayodla isidlo sakusihlwa somkhaya, base beqhela ukuphila komunye nomunye kalula nje ukuze bachithe isikhathi nezithandwa zabo.
Ngabe sengihlangana nentombi yakhe
Njengoba isikhathi sihamba, ngahlangana nabangane babo, abafika endaweni yabo ngokukhululekile. Ngesinye isikhathi, ngachitha ubusuku obungakhululekile endaweni yabo lapho mina nentombi kaRishi simenyelwe esidlweni sakusihlwa. U-Anita (lelo kwakuyigama lakhe) waqhubeka nokwabelana ngama-anecdotes avela endabeni yakhe yothando no-Rishi. Ngiyabonga Nkulunkulu ukuthi angizange ngizwe izindaba zabo zocansi ezivulekile emshadweni…lokho bekungaba kukhulu kimina.
“Uyizixhwanguxhwangu,” kububula enkundleni yemidlalo yaseshashalazini, “uze angisize ngomsebenzi wami ongaphelele ukuze sobabili siphuthume endaweni yami futhi sijabulele ukuba sodwa.”
“O, wayevame ukwenza okufanayo kimi ngesikhathi singashadile. Manje, ngicabanga ukuthi izinto eziza kuqala kuye sezishintshile,” kusho uSeema ekhala ngenkathi ebheka umyeni wakhe omomothekayo. Ngisho noma wayenomona futhi esezoziphatha njengomfazi ohlanyayo , ngokuqinisekile akazange akubonise lokho.
Inkinga yami yayiwukuthi, ngangithanda uRishi noSeema. Kulula futhi ukukhuluma kahle, babejabulela uhlobo olufanayo lwamafilimu, izincwadi nomculo njengami. Babekwazi ukuhlanganyela ezingxoxweni ezizuzisayo, futhi bobabili babenokuhlekisa okukhulu. Ngangingavamile ukukhululeka lapho ngihlangana nabalingani babo, ababekuqonda bobabili. Kodwa bangethula kunoma ubani engihlangana nabo, bekhetha ukukhuluma ngokungagwegwesi kunokubalekela.
Nami ngahlangana nesoka lakhe
Ukuze ngijule ngemfihlo yezindaba zempumelelo yomshado ovulekile, nganginelukuluku lokwazi futhi ngangifuna ukuhlola lo mbhangqwana okwengeziwe. Ngisalukhumbula usuku lokugcina ngiye kubo. U-Rishi ubephumile edolobheni. USeema wacela ukungenzela inkomishi yekhofi, ngayivuma lapho ngihlala endlini yabo yokuphumula.
Ngemva kwesikhathi esithile, insizwa ethile yaphuma endlini yahlanganyela nathi. Wayegqoke i-tracksuit futhi ebukeka emncane kakhulu kunaye.
“U-Ravi akayena nje uzakwethu ogqamile, futhi uyindoda ekhetheke kakhulu empilweni yami kulezi zinsuku,” u-Seema wamethula ngothando.
Kwakungokokuqala ngqa ngihlangana noSeema nesoka lami ngesikhathi uRishi engekho. Ngazindla ngalokhu nalokhuya, ngagwinya ikhofi, ngaphuma endlini ngemva kokuvalelisana ngokushesha, ngingakaqondi ngokugcwele ukuguquguquka kwalobu budlelwano obubonakala 'buyimpumelelo '.
EMumbai yilapho engahlangana khona nombhangqwana. Futhi, iMumbai yidolobha engalishiya eminyakeni engaphezu kweshumi edlule. Isikhathi eside, ngangilokhu ngizibuza ukuthi uSeema noRishi bashintsha kanjani abalingani, kodwa baphila ngokuzwana. Abazange baphume engqondweni yami.
Eminyakeni eyishumi kamuva, ngithemba ukuthi bobabili bahamba kahle.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ucwaningo luphakamise ukuthi ama-92% emishado evulekile iphela ngesehlukaniso.
Imishado evulekile ayingeni ngaphansi kwesibopho sokuphinga noma ukungathembeki. Ngakho-ke uma usebudlelwaneni obuvulekile obuphumelelayo, akusho ukuthi uhlanganyela ocansini olungaphandle komshado.
Kungaba njalo. Ziningi izindaba zempumelelo yomshado ovulekile ezizokukhombisa ukuthi kanjani. Uma nje umuntu ethembekile, ecacile futhi ejabule - akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuklama umshado ngendlela ofisa ngayo. Okubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abalingani kufanele bafune into efanayo ngokulinganayo.
8 Vula Imithetho Yobudlelwano Okufanele Ilandelwe Ukuze Kusebenze
Uyini umshado ovulekile futhi kungani abantu bekhetha ukuba nawo?
Izinhlobo Ezi-5 Zezilimi Zothando Nendlela Yokuzisebenzisa Ukuze Ube Nobudlelwano Obujabulisayo
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Ngokwami, nginomuzwa wokuthi ukwethembeka nokuba abangane bengqondo kufanele kube imithetho eyisisekelo yomshado ovulekile. Lapho niqonda ukusebenza kwemizwelo yomunye nomunye, futhi nithembeke ngokungananazi komunye nomunye, kufika isiqiniseko kubo bobabili abalingani ngomunye nomunye, futhi lokho ngokuqinisekile kungasiza isibopho sichume. Okunye ukuthi, into efana nomshado okhululekile kufanele isekelwe ekuvumelaneni. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, uma abantu abathintekayo bengakwazi ukukukhipha ngokuqukethwe enhliziyweni yabo, yilokho-ke. Abadingi ukuzihlupha nganoma yini enye.
ISIQINISEKISO ESIFANELE UKUFUNDA. KUNIKA UKUBUKA NGOKUBANZI EMPILWENI.