Ukushada kuyinto elula - kodwa ukuhlala ujabule emshadweni nezingane zokutholwa akuwona neze umsebenzi olula. Kufanele siqaphele ukuthi izingane zokutholwa zisesimweni sokushintsha ngemva kokuba abazali benqume ukuhlukana noma ngemva kokushonelwa umzali. Bangase basondelane kakhulu nomzali oyedwa futhi bacasuke ukuba khona komunye umuntu ekuphileni kwalowo mzali.
Sixoxe noDkt . Gopa Khan, owasitshela ukuthi yiziphi izinselele izingane zokutholwa ezingaba nazo nokuthi zingabhekana kanjani nazo kangcono.
Izinkinga Zomshado Ngenxa Yezingane Zokutholwa
Okuqukethwe
Akunakuphikwa ukuthi imindeni exubile isiyinto evamile futhi kuyinto evamile ukuthi bobabili abazali balethe izingane zabo emshadweni wabo wesibili kodwa uma ucabanga ukuthi ziba umndeni owodwa omkhulu ojabulayo ngosuku lokuqala nje uphambukile. Ukuxazulula izingxabano emindenini exubile kudinga uhlobo oluhlukile lobuhlakani.
Izibalo zemindeni exubile zibonisa ukuthi izingane ezingu-16% zihlala emindenini exubile kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi izinkinga zomshado azibangelwa yizingane zokutholwa. UBlake Inoa, umlimi e-US, usitshele ukuthi, “Ingane yami yokutholwa ichitha umshado wami. Njalo ebusuku ingane eneminyaka engu-4 ubudala izitika embhedeni wethu futhi ifuna ukulala nathi. Impilo yami yocansi yonakele futhi ngicabanga ngesehlukaniso ngenxa yengane yami yokutholwa.”
- Izingane zokutholwa zivame ukuhlupheka ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana futhi uqhubeke ubambelele kumzali odala izinkinga ngosingamzali naye ofuna ukunakwa umngane wakhe womshado osanda kushada
- Ukwamukelwa yizingane akulula. Ngezinye izikhathi umzamo omncane uyasebenza kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ubonakala ungamantongomane aqinile ukuwaqhekeza
- Banokuvungama okungapheli okuvame ukuba nzima ukukuthwala. Izingane zokutholwa zivame ukuba namaqili futhi ziqale ukuxabanisa usingamzali wazo nomzali wazo
- Izinkinga zengane yokutholwa zivame ukuphuma esandleni lapho ziphila kahle ekhaya kodwa ziyiziqhwaga esikoleni futhi ngokuvamile ziba nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo.
Okwenza Izinkinga Zezingane Zokutholwa Zenzeke
Lapho kunezingane zokutholwa emshadweni, umcabango wokuqala ofikayo engqondweni owokuthi izingane zizomamukela yini umzali omusha. Uma leso siphazamiso sesidlulile, futhi ukwamukelwa okubalulekile kwenzeka, kuyisiqalo senqubo eqhubekayo yokuqonda, uthando nokuyekethisa okuthi ngezinye izikhathi kube inqubo ecindezelayo nenselele uma abantu bengekho ekhasini elilodwa. Sibhala phansi izizathu eziholela ezinkingeni zezingane zokutholwa.
1. Isitayela sokukhulisa izingane esihlukile
Ungase uthole ukuthi umlingani wakho wenza ngokweqile ekutotoseni izingane zakhe ngokuziyisa ezindaweni zokudlela ezibizayo futhi azithengele noma yini eziyicelayo.
Ngokuvamile lokhu ukwenza ngenxa yecala lokuthi uhlukanise umndeni. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ufuna ukubona isiyalo esengeziwe endlini. Ezikhathini ezinjengalezi, uzozithola usubhekene nengane yokutholwa emoshekile kanye nokudinwa kwayo.
Angase aqale ukukucasukela nawe. Ukuze ugweme izimo ezinjalo, udinga ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho futhi nivumelane mayelana nendlela yokuziphatha nezingane.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuqala Ukuqomisana: Amathiphu Kwabaqalayo Nalabo Abaqalayo Futhi
2. Ukukhetha
Kungenzeka ukuthi nobabili ninezingane ezenu. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kufanele uqaphe kakhulu ukuthi awukhethi izingane zakho ngaphezu kwezingane zakho zokutholwa.
Izingane ziyaqonda ukuthi kwenzeka nini ukukhetha, futhi uma zizizwa kanjalo, zivame ukwenza ikhaya libe nesiphithiphithi kakhulu ngenxa yokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo yazo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimo Ezi-5 Lapho Sitshela Izingane Zethu Ukuba Zithathe Uhlangothi Kodwa Akufanele Sithathe Uhlangothi
3. Izingane azizwani
Ngenxa yokuthi uyamthanda umlingani wakho omusha, akusho ukuthi izingane zakho nezingane zakhe nazo zizothandana futhi zibonise ubuhlobo bezingane zakini.
Izikhathi eziningi izingane azizwani. Ngeke ixazululwe ngosuku. Enye indlela yokwenza ukuthi izingane zibe ndawonye ngisho nangaphambi kokuba nibophe ifindo ukuze zijwayelane.
4. Awunaso isikhathi sezingane
Ukushada nezingane zokutholwa kusho ukuthi anikwazi ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye - kudingeka niqaphele nezingane futhi. Anikwazi ukukhohlwa ukuthi izingane zidlule ebuhlungwini bokubona abazali behlukana kanye nomzali omusha endlini.
Kungabathinta kabi futhi kungavela ngendlela yokucasuka. Ngakho-ke, udinga ukuthola isikhathi sezingane.
5. Owakudala ufaka ushevu ezingqondweni zabo
Owayengunkosikazi noma owayengumyeni angadala izinkinga ngokwenza izingane zokutholwa zikhethe uhlangothi. Abazali kumelwe basingathe lesi simo ngokuvuthwa.
Uma zibona abazali babo nabashade nabo bephathana ngenhlonipho, kungokwemvelo ukuthi izingane zinyathele endleleni efanayo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene : Ngingabhekana Kanjani Nobungane Obujulile Bomyeni Wami Nomkakhe Wangaphambili?
Zisabela Kanjani Izingane Zokutholwa?
Izingane zokutholwa kufanele zibhekane nobunzima obukhulu. Okokuqala, zibona abazali bazo behlukana noma uma kwenzeka ukufa kufanele zibhekane nobuhlungu bokulahlekelwa umzali. Bese kufanele zijwayele ikhaya elisha nomzali omusha. Ngokuvamile zithwala intukuthelo nentukuthelo enkulu ngaphakathi kwazo. Zingase zithukuthele futhi ziphathe kabi. Lezi yizizathu ezenza zisabele ngendlela eziziphatha ngayo.
1. Bazizwa bedangele
Umshado wesibili nezingane zokutholwa kusho ukuthi kufanele ubhekane nezingane ezizizwa zidumele. Kuyadabukisa ezinganeni ukuzwa ushintsho ezimweni zomndeni.
Ngenxa yalokhu, bangaba mnene. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, nobabili kudingeka nibachazele ukuthi lokhu kube ukukhetha kwenu nobabili, futhi ukuziphatha okunjalo akwamukelekile.
2. Bazizwa besaba
Uma izingane zisencane kakhulu, khona-ke zicabanga ukucasuka uma umzali omusha ethulwa ngokuzumayo. Njengoba uDkt Khan esitshela, “Ngangineklayenti elisencane, elalimesaba kakhulu usingamama ngenxa yezinganekwane eziphathelene nosingamama ababi.
Ingane yabe sekumele yenze izikhathi eziningi zokuhlangana nomama wayo omusha ukuze ikhululeke.”
3. Bakhetha izinhlangothi
Uma izingane zithola ukuthi abazali bazo abazwani, zikhetha amaqembu. Ngenxa yalokhu, zingase zifune ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nomzali oyedwa kunomunye, ngakho-ke 'ikhaya elisha' olidalayo lingaba yisiphithiphithi.
4. Badala izinkinga zemali
UDkt Khan ubona sengathi uma izingane sezikhulile, ngenxa yokucasuka, zingadala izindaba ezithinta imali, ifa kanye nokuhlukunyezwa kwabantu abadala.
Amathiphu angu-9 Okusebenzela Ubudlelwano Bakho Nezingane Ongazizali
Kuyenzeka ubhekane nesimo lapho izingane zokutholwa zingazwani nosingamzali. Kufanele ukhumbule izici ezimbalwa lapho uxhumana nabo.
1. Gcina lokho okulindele kucatshangelwe
Ungacabangi ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi nobabili nishadile , izingane zokutholwa zizokuthanda ngokushesha. Yakha ubuhlobo nazo kancane kancane ngothando olukhulu kanye nesineke.
Isibonelo, uDkt Khan, njengamanje, uneklayenti eliphothula umshado wendodakazi yakhe yokutholwa futhi unezibalo ezinhle kakhulu nendodakazi yakhe yokutholwa.
2. Gcina imigudu yokuxhumana ivulekile
Izingane zakho zokutholwa zingase zingezi kuwe ngokushesha zizokutshela ngokungaqiniseki kwazo nemizwelo yazo kodwa kunalokho ziye kumzali ozalayo. Kodwa kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi ugcine imigudu yokuxhumana ivulekile nabo.
3. Ungazami ukufaka omunye umzali esikhundleni
UDkt Khan uyasitshela, “Ingane eneminyaka engu-8 yayitshela uyise ukuthi ‘Ubengeyena umphathi wayo’ futhi yayivame ukufutheka uma ithweswa icala nguyise ongamzali.
Ungazami ukufaka omunye umzali esikhundleni. Ukuthi ushadelwe akusho ukuthi bazokwamukela njengomzali bakhohlwe nguye owabazalayo. Kunalokho, dala ubuhlobo obusha nabo - kungase kube ubungane obujulile.
4. Bonisa ukuthi wena nowakwakho nindawonye
Kungase kufike isikhathi lapho izingane zizokhononda ngawe komunye umzali. Lesi yisikhathi lapho kuzomele nobabili nikhombise ukuthi niyizithandani futhi nindawonye.
5. Yiba namahlaya
Kuningi okungafezwa ngamancoko ngoba uma izingane zibona ukuthi kumnandi ukuba nazo, zizofuna ukuchitha isikhathi esengeziwe nawe.
Ngenxa yalokhu, ningaphuma niyobuka i-movie ndawonye, nidlale imidlalo yebhodi ekhaya noma nijabulele nokupheka ndawonye.
6. Yazi ukuthi izingane zithanda ukwenzani
Ungase umazi kahle owakwakho, kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi uzazi kahle izingane. Ngakho-ke, thola ukuthi yini ngempela abathanda ukuyenza futhi ufake leyo misebenzi ohlelweni lwakho. Kudingeka bakholelwe ukuthi ukhona ukuze bazuze.
7. Letha izinguquko ezithile ekhaya
Izingane zijwayele ukubona indlu ihlotshiswe ngendlela ethile. Lokhu kubakhumbuza izikhathi ngaphambi kokuba babone abazali babo behlukana.
Ngakho-ke, lapho wena, umuntu omusha, ungena endlini yabo, bangazizwa becasukile. Yilapho oshade naye edinga khona ukusiza ngokushintsha indlela indlu ebukeka ngayo, athuthukise amasiko amasha omndeni noma mhlawumbe angene endlini entsha.
8. Vumela umzali ozalayo ukuba achithe isikhathi nezingane
Ungazami ukwenza izinto ngokweqile ngokuhlala ufuna ukuchitha isikhathi nezingane zokutholwa. Kunalokho, thola umbuthano wakho wabangani ongaba nabo.
Lokhu kuzonika umzali ophilayo isikhathi sokuba nezingane zakhe yedwa. Ungabi nomuzwa wokuthi ngokungahlali nezingane zakho zokutholwa, wenza okungalungile.
9. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho izinto zingeke zibonakale zilungile, kodwa awukwazi ukuyeka. Kodwa-ke, naphezu kwesikhathi eside kanye nayo yonke imizamo yakho, uma ungakwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo nezingane zokutholwa, kungcono ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Phela, ushade ukuze ujabule futhi ungabhekani nenkinga yezingane njalo. Iphaneli yochwepheshe beBonobology ingakusiza wakhe amandla anempilo nomndeni wakho omusha.
Imicabango Final
Khumbula ukuthi ngeke ube 'umndeni owodwa omkhulu ojabulayo' ngosuku. Lokhu kudinga isikhathi esiningi - mhlawumbe ngisho neminyaka. Kulokhu, kufanele ube nesineke futhi uqhubeke usebenza kukho. Ngakho vele ugweme ukuthi, “Ngiyagula izingane zami zokutholwa” noma “Izingane zami ziyangigwema.” Kunalokho hlabelela ngezinto ezinhle.
Ubuhlobo Bokuqala Ngemva Kokuba Ngumfelokazi – 18 Okufanele Ukwenze Nokungamelwe Ukwenze
Izizathu Eziyisi-6 Insizwa Engakunaki Ngemva Kwempi Kanye Nezinto Ezi-5 Ongayenza
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Okufakiwe
Ukuqamba Amanga Ngokungenzi Kanye Nemiphumela Yako Ebudlelwaneni
Angimethembi Isoka Lami - Izizathu Ezingaba Ezingu-9 Namathiphu Ayisi-6 Awusizo
Kuyini I-Breadcrumbing Ekupholeni? Izimpawu Nendlela Yokusabela Kuyo
Iqhaza Lokuzihlonipha Ebudlelwaneni - Thatha Lesi Sivivinyo Ukuze Uhlole Esakho Namuhla!
Ingabe Ubudlelwano Bebanga Elide buyasebenza?
Ungabhekana Kanjani Nomuntu Okusola Ngayo Yonke Into — Izindlela Ezinengqondo Ezingu-21
Ingabe Umthetho Wokuthintana Ngemva Kokuhlukana Uyasebenza? Kuphendula uchwepheshe
I-Stereotyping Men: Kungani Sekuyisikhathi Sokucabanga Ngaphandle 'Kwebhokisi Lendoda'
Kungani Ukungashadi Kubukelwa Phansi? Ukuqopha I-Psychology Ngemuva Kokwahlulela
I-Broken Heart Syndrome: Lapho Inhliziyo Yakho Iphuka, Impela
Amathiphu ayi-15 Okugcina Ubudlelwano Buqinile Futhi Bunempilo
I-Attachment Styles Psychology: Indlela Okhuliswe Ngayo Ithinta Ubudlelwano
Umthwalo Wokunakekela, Umthelela Ovame Ukunganakwa Wobhubhane Kwabesifazane
Ukwelulekwa Ngomshado - Izinjongo Eziyi-15 Okufanele Zilungiswe Kusho Umelaphi
Ukucindezeleka Kwangemva Komshado: Ngangicindezeleke Kakhulu Ngazama Ukuzibulala
9 Izinzuzo Ezifakazelwe Zokwelulekwa - Ungahlupheki Ngokuthula
Ukunikeza Kakhulu Ebudlelwaneni? Kungakanani Ukuzinikela Kwakho
Ukuqomisana Njengomama Oyedwa - 9 Amathiphu
Ukuba Nobudlelwano Ne-Introvert? 7 Amathiphu For Dating An Introvert
Ungawaqaphela Kanjani Amafulegi Abomvu Wobudlelwano - Uchwepheshe Uyakutshela